Post by Savannah Sunshine. on Aug 10, 2021 22:25:43 GMT -5
I don't relate to you
I don't relate to you, no
'Cause I'd never treat me this shitty
You made me hate this city
And I don't talk shit about you on the internet
Never told anyone anything bad
'Cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything
And all that you did was make me fucking sad
MONDAY, AUGUST 9TH, 2021
OSAKA, JAPAN
THERAPY SESSION
Mandated therapy. That's what they had said after she had witnessed the events during the last show. Not only for the fact that she had endured such a traumatic experience, but because of her sudden violent and aggressive attitude towards most people. This was nothing new for the curly haired woman, in fact, she was very familiar with therapy. Except this therapist was in charge of following her around until they deemed her "fit" mentally again. Though, she was thankful that Doctor Rhodes was so kind to give her space. Nightmares had plagued her to no end, left her waking in cold sweats and panic attacks nearly every single night since those events. Dressed in a Hello Kitty crop top and a pair of shorts, she set out towards Doctor Rhodes' hotel room for her weekly therapy session. Twice a week, or three times a week if she felt she needed it. But, the minimum was two days and nothing less. Adjusting the ponytail atop her head for a moment, she knocked carefully before the door opened slowly. The woman on the other side of the door greeting her with yet another welcoming and warm smile. "Hi, Savannah. Come on in. Don't mind the mess, I'm just trying to decide what I should wear tonight." The woman was darker in complexion to Savannah, her hair was dark brown with blonde highlights and her eyes were a hazel color. She was, of course, taller than Savannah by even just a few inches. But, still taller.
Nodding a bit, Savannah shuffled around a pile of clothes and took a seat in the opposite bed as Rachel Rhodes settled in for today's session as well. "No problem. My room's not any better. I'm pretty sure I owe these places so much money from trashing places during panic attacks and nightmares and everything else. Got a date?" Rachel laughs softly, waving a hand towards the bed so Savannah can take a seat. "Something like that, I suppose." With Savannah settled at the foot of the bed, Rachel took occupancy in the lounge chair a few feet away. Notepad and pen tapped slightly as she set up the recording devices. A camera and a small voice recorder settled onto the table. As part of the agreement, Savannah would have recorded sessions so that the other doctors and such could review them along the way. "Savannah, I must remind you that I am recording for your safety as well as my own. These tapes will be shared with higher ups of Project: Honor. Do you understand that?" Rachel's voice finally breaks the silence and Savannah swallows hard with a nod. "Yes, I understand." With those words out of the way, the session began as Rachel began to jot down notes before Savannah even began to speak.
"Now, during our last session we got onto the topic of the nightmares you have been having. It's been just less than one week since Jason's death and you haven't spoken much about how you're really feeling. It's just us in this room." Rachel pauses, just briefly. "So, let's start from the beginning, okay? Tell me about these nightmares. What are they like? What do you see? Things like that." Rachel prepares to start writing as Savannah sits on the edge of the bed. She occupies herself with a loose string on her t-shirt, remaining as silent as ever. The mere mention of the nightmares sends her stomach reeling. She wants to throw up, she wants to run out of this room. She wants to avoid this topic by any means. But, she trusts Rachel. Rachel hasn't let her down as long as she's been her therapist. She slides back in the bed, makes herself comfortable as shoes are slid from her feet and she tucks beneath the blanket. Eyes close, just so she can picture it. Not that she needs to picture the nightmares, they come to her in waves. "Where do I even begin...?" Her voice is barely above a whisper as she lays against the pillows propped behind her.
"It starts off the same way it happened, with Jason eliminating... Rapture." She grits her teeth, not wanting to say who he really is. Not wanting to allow him any control over her any longer. Her blood boils and her stomach churns in a sickening way. "Then, the mask comes off and... and he's got another underneath. A familiar mask, something I recognize. But, I didn't have time to warn him. I was too far away to say anything and... and then..." She pauses, swallows back the lump in her throat. "But, Rapture turned out not to... not to be Rapture. Rapture was really... Rapture was really just Redd living out his sick and twisted little fantasy. I had to sit and watch as that first plunge of the knife came, I was so shocked that I could hardly react. I called out to Jason, mostly out of pure fear and instinct. Then, came another stab... and another... I thought it was never going to end. But, then it finally did and when I finally get to his body..." She has to stop, sits up and grabs a nearby trash bin. She empties the contents of her stomach, though it's not much, just the oatmeal she had for breakfast. Rachel grimaces in worry and concern as she allows Savannah time to pull herself together.
Offering a warm rag to Savannah a moment later, Savannah wipes her mouth before continuing on. "When I finally get to Jason in my nightmare, I'm standing in a pool of blood. There's so much blood and it's all over my pants and it's on my hands where I try to stop the bleeding. It's on my shirt where I try to wipe my bloodied hands clean. There's so much red that it's nauseating and then everything goes dark. It's like I've lost consciousness for awhile. But, then this bright light washes over me and I'm in a hospital. I'm watching them work on Jason, I'm watching as they try to save him as his blood coats their hands and spills onto the bed. There's so much going on that my head is spinning and I'm not sure what happens in between that. It all kind of blurs together." She pauses, her voice growing quieter and more broken as she continues. "There's a blur and then, there's suddenly a doctor in front of me and he's telling me that he didn't make it. He's telling me that Jason is dead. I don't believe it. Not a single part of me believes it as I shove past everyone to get to him. But... It's true. There's no pulse, no heartbeat, no breathing. His eyes are closed and his blood stains everything. Including me."
She stops talking, but there's a certain darkness as she sits on the edge of the bed now. "Then, it shifts entirely and I'm in some kind of woods. It's too dark, far too dark for my liking. I can hear howling, something like a twig snaps nearby, and I take off running. I can feel fear filling me to the core and the faster I run, the deeper I get into the woods. Until I'm face to face with this wolf that knocks me to the ground. Heavy paws weighing upon my shoulders pinning me down as he barks and growls mere inches from my face. I can feel the heat and the slobber as it drips onto my face." She wrings her hands together, stands up as she starts pacing around anxiously. "The barks turn into a mangled voice and it... it sounds just like... just like him." She doesn't say Redd's name, doesn't need to with the way she grows pale. "He's telling me that he did all of this for me. That he loves me and that he only wants what's best for me. But, then it gets even better..." There's something akin to a dark grin on her lips as her gaze drifts towards Rachel in a sickening way.
"I've got something in my hands now, something heavy and cool and metal. It's this super cool sword and it's totally awesome. I manage to pry the wolf away from me. I manage to get on shaky feet and I stare the wolf down until it's whimpering like a little puppy and I'm suddenly towering over it as it cowers into the ground." She uses both hands to make motions like she did in the nightmare with the sword. She raises both hands, as if raising the sword into the air. "Then, I raise the sword high into the air and I tell that stupid thing. I say, "Hey! You have no power here. You have no power over me. Not ever again. Not anymore." and I don't say anything else before..." She brings her hands down in a swift and fluid motion. "I bring the sword down and I cut the head clean off of the damn thing..." She drops onto the bed, almost as if drained of all of her energy. Rachel jots down notes nodding here and there before speaking again. "And do you feel any better once you've slayed the beast?" The words echo around Savannah, as if she's somewhere else entirely. The room blurs and she's lost in her own thoughts. "Do I feel any better?" She repeats the question, though she's left feeling even emptier than she was before. "No, no I don't. He took the one thing I loved more than my own self. He took the one thing that kept me from going off the deep end. Jason kept the darkness away, he made sure I did the right thing. He made sure I was taken care of... and he took that from me! He took my home, he took my person. He took my heart, ripped it out of my chest, and stomped all over it! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!" She's in tears now, sobbing uncontrollably as if this sudden dam breaks within. Rachel cuts the recording and consoles Savannah who sobs into her lap with her rubbing her back.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 10TH, 2021
OSAKA, JAPAN
TENNOJI KOEN (Tennōji Kōen/Tennōji Park)
Cellphone clutched in her hand, Savannah takes in the sight around her. She's seated beneath a beautiful cherry blossom tree, petals falling around her with a gentle breeze. She moves her phone around in a panoramic view, before the camera flips and focuses upon her. She's calm and peaceful, a small smile on her lips as she gives a little wave. Single ponytail traded out for two with cute little ribbons adorning both ponytails. "Ohayō~! Or good morning, for those of you who are not familiar with Japanese. I'll admit, I'm not really too well at Japanese. But..." She pauses, a small drop in her smile as she inhales a soft breath. "Jason taught me a lot of Japanese before... y'know. He's used to being here in Japan, but me? Not even slightly. But, I know he'll be proud to know that this is where we get to meet to say goodbye to him one final time." She pauses, doing her best to keep her emotions put together. "It'll be a tough time for me, but anything for him. He means the world to me and I will not let this go easily. I won't stop fighting until..." She pauses, shaking her head as she leans back against the blanket beneath her. A gentle huff escaping her as eyes roll slightly. "Sorry, sorry. I'm... I'm trying my best. Really. I'm not here to talk about Jason, unfortunately. Though, I will make this fight the best fight possible. For him and for me... and for Levi." She nods firmly, brows knitting together momentarily before a smile replaces the frown on her lips. She sits up, legs crossing over one another as she props her cellphone up against her picnic basket. There's passersby who wave in greeting and she waves back with a slight bow. Her attention focusing on her cellphone once more as a more serious look comes over her.
"I won't let this be an easy win for you, Levi. I've made it very clear that no matter what, I am going to fight until I can't fight anymore. I have a lot on my mind, but that's not going to get in the way of what I have to do in order to stay on top around here. You're right, we've both suffered some heavy losses... But, it's about how you bounce back and recover and keep yourself steady above all else. You see, I like to channel all of my frustrations and keep them close. Perhaps an unhealthy thing, but not one that will deter me from kicking your ass. What was it that you said when you found out we would be meeting in the ring this week?" She pauses, tapping her chin as she pretends to think, before a gasp falls from her lips.
"Oh, that's right. You said, and you can quote me on this: "Jason did not die for you to be a sacrifice... "queen"." Eyes roll in slight annoyance as she shakes her head. "Air quotes around queen, but that's where you have me confused. I am a queen. Gold or no gold, that is who I am. The queen of Candyland. The queen of those who have been pushed around one time too many. The queen of the broken souls who don't have any fight left in them. So, by all means... Keep mocking me. Keep throwing your words around as if you know a damn thing about me. I'll prove you wrong just as I've proven that I am not a threat to be taken lightly. I'm going into this with the only goal and intent of putting you down and making sure you don't get up once that three count ends. I'm going into this fighting for myself, fighting for Jason, fighting to make sure that everyone understands that I am here to stay. You can throw as many lowkey insults at me as you want, but I'll still be standing tall in the end of it all."
"You asked me if I was sure if this was what I wanted, if I was sure I wanted to disappoint Jason... again. You thought you could take my pain and make it your weapon. That you could use it against me in some kind of retaliation of a war of worlds. But, you don't have any idea who I am, do you?" She lets out a less than humorous laugh. "None of you have any idea who I am!" Her voice raises slightly before she quiets down again. "Maybe that's where the problem lies. Too many times people claim to know who I am and how I work and what I am and am not capable of... and I prove them wrong. Every. Single. Time." She says the last three words slowly and to each syllable. "Understand me when I say I am not going into this thinking it will be an easy battle. In fact, I know that you are more than capable of giving me the fight of a lifetime. So, I want you to give me everything you have in you... because this is not going to be an easy task for you. I want you to understand me when I say that I am not here to be a silly little puppet or some starry-eyed waif. I am here to ensure I meet my own goals and kick all the ass that stands in my way, including yours." She exhales a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding, eyes closing softly for a moment before she focuses once more.
"Maybe you were right. Maybe I am weak and gullible and broken. But, I will pick up those pieces. I will rise from the ashes... and I will do what it takes to make sure that everyone sees me for who I truly am. I don't need anyone to hold my hand. I don't need anyone to help me. I can follow whatever path I choose from here on out... of my own volition. Wherever that path leads me? The future looks damn bright. Good luck, Levi... You're truly going to need it when you step into that ring with a woman who has nothing left to lose." There's a small smirk on her lips as a dark look crosses her eyes. It's just a flash, but you can see it if you look close enough. "Sayōnara, Levi-san~" Her voice is a sing song, as she leans forward to close the recording and the screen fades into darkness.
You ruined everything good
Always said you were misunderstood
Made all my moments your own
Just fucking leave me alone