Post by MYŌJIN on Jun 30, 2021 21:58:52 GMT -5
16. Retrospective
VS Big Drip Production|Proving Ground XVIII
MYOJIN had done it.
They had won at Hell on Earth against Arata Asukara- and while it was close, their quick-thinking into going for a roll-up had been definitive and pinned their opponent for three seconds. And truth be told, they hadn’t felt such excitement or satisfaction in a long time.
The match was for becoming the number one contender to the X-Factor Championship, but that wasn’t the reason why they felt the way they did at that moment. It was hard to explain- but thinking of the words Asukara had said, calling them nothing more than underdog- disregarding any and every accomplishment they had ever made, and even saying that they didn’t love pro-wrestling... They had proved him wrong. They proved Lance Williams wrong when he called them a failure. They proved that to everyone watching that the Shining Star hadn’t lost their edge, that they still had what it took. Fuck anyone that tried to say otherwise as they left the ring with the crowd cheering for them as they could for once, after a very long time, stand with their head up high- proud of their own skill. Proud of the grueling match they had just gone through, proud of themselves for instead of taking everything so serious and just allowing themselves to have fun in the ring…
Fun.
The blonde sat in their backstage room, wiping sweat from their face with a towel. They paused as they thought of the word as if it was almost like a surprise that came to them. Despite facing Asukara, someone they had no love for- they had… fun going against him. When was the last time they had such a great time wrestling? Instead of worrying over their win and loss record, instead of trying to hurt someone else to prove a point, they remembered the competitive and carefree aspect that had drawn them to becoming a wrestler in the first place. Where no one shoved expectations onto them, where they were free to do whatever they wanted. Instead of worrying about always being as close to perfection as possible, needing a championship belt to validate themself, treating every match like a life or death situation… MYOJIN used to just simply go out there and have the night of their lives.
What happened to that? Why had they grown so jaded?
The blonde could remember a time where it wasn’t always like that, as they thought back on the past.
“When are you going to outgrow this little phase of yours by now, Shouta?”
Two years ago, a younger MYOJIN, or Shouta, sat in a luxury car- their phone in their hand as they listened to the voice of their mother, Megumi Kuromiya. The occasional glow of street lights and the illuminated road reflected into the car as it made its way through the busy California nightlife. The younger version of the future wrestler looked down for a few moments, taking a deep breath- both out of irritation and nervousness as they listened to their mother- they have had the same conversation many times... Shouta knew how she felt about them going to the local indie shows and wrestling, they knew how she felt about them being a wrestler in general. She, like their father, had always had a predetermined path that she hoped they would follow- and she always seemed to think that was little more than a hobby- some sort of phase that the blonde was going through. Truth be told, it was more than that. “Why should I quit doing what I enjoy? I’m twenty-one, mom.. I’ll be twenty-two in a few months. It wouldn’t hurt you to let me try and figure out what I want to do with my life.”
They could hear her scoff over the phone. “This is a waste of your time, it’s a childish, violent little game just like your father loved to participate in- but at least he wouldn’t be doing these needlessly dangerous stunts just to entertain some people…” Megumi then sighed, going quiet- once she spoke again, her voice was less cold and judgemental and more concerned. “I always tried to keep you and your siblings from getting yourselves hurt- and yet it’s like all three of you want to end up like him, Satoshi already hasn’t even been able to walk right anymore.”
Shouta winced, the reminder of the unfortunate early retirement of their older brother was harsh. He had been forced to retire from MMA given a severe injury to his leg- something that stayed on the Kuromiya’s family mind for a long time. The relationship between the blonde’s parents had already been strained given their divorce, but after what had happened to Satoshi- that relationship grew even worse. A moment of silence grew between the two as they simply averted their gaze, looking out of the window as they
“Don’t you know that you’re worth more than this? That there’s more to your life than mindlessly fighting people at bingo halls and high school gyms?”
“That’s for me to decide- what I want to do with my time and energy. Mom, I get that you’re worried about me… but this is what I want to do. It’s my choice to spend my life the way I want to.”
“What is it that you love so much about wrestling? Why do you want to keep doing this? Shouta, I just… I just don’t understand why you enjoy putting yourself in harm’s way so much.” They could hear the frustration in their mother’s voice, and it honestly made their heart sink. They didn’t want to make her feel so stressed or worried, but they didn’t want to give up their happiness for someone else. Shouta ran a hand through their golden hair as their driver began to stop at the local indie promotion that the blonde made appearances for. Biting their lip, they thought carefully over the words they wanted to use.
“Because… there’s nothing else like it for me. In the octagon, I always felt like I was living with so much pressure on my back, and modeling just doesn’t satisfy me. When I’m out there, it doesn’t matter if I’m performing for a hundred people or none at all- but it’s like nothing else matters, there’s only me and the opponent that I’m facing. I feel free when I’m wrestling, mom. That I’m above everything and that I don’t have to answer to anyone else but myself, that I can be whoever I want and DO whatever I want. It’s my escape- and I don’t want to give that up.”
The car finally stopped. “We’re here.” The chauffeur spoke up.
Megumi was quiet for a few seconds- and Shouta felt their anxiety grow as they awaited an answer from her. But when she finally spoke, it was with an unexpected response. “If… If that’s what you really want, then I can’t stop you. I hope you know that I only just want the best for you- and I want you to be safe… But if this truly makes you happy then... Just promise me that you’ll do your best to not get hurt, okay?”
A small, warm smile grew on Shouta’s face as they grabbed their bag, stepping out. “I promise. さようなら、お母さん。わたしは、あなたを愛しています。(Bye, mom. I love you.)”
“さようなら。私もあなたを愛してます。(Goodbye. I love you too.)” And the call was over, Shouta finally felt like they could breathe for a few moments as they headed toward the building. A few friends were waiting for them, Faye and Jamie, with who they had quickly became allies with ever since their first meeting.
Faye crossed her arms, an amused grin on her face. Though she did seem a little surprised. “Look at you, arriving all fancy- What's up with that, you a secret millionaire or something?”
“Listen, can we not talk about my personal life? I've done enough of that today.” Shouta responded playfully, giving both Faye and Jamie fist bumps.
“Alright, alright... So, are you ready to go kick some ass with us tonight?” The fellow wrestler asked.
“Is that even a question?” They never felt more at home than inside of a squared circle.
“Shouta, is everything okay?” And like that, the blonde was brought back to present-day reality. MYOJIN looked up, slightly surprised as they turned to see their fiancée, Himari, standing in front of them. “You look like you were thinking about something?”
Shouta smiled brightly, “Hm? Oh, yeah, I was just remembering some things… Remembering the point of why I do this.”
Himari stepped forward, lightly stroking her hand through their hair affectionately. “Was what you remembered… good?”
They nodded, leaning their head into her loving touch.
“It was.”
I feel like I’ve been losing focus.
Before Hell on Earth, I was so… worried, so anxious about everything. About proving myself, about trying to be the best wrestler on the planet. About trying to earn respect while nervously always thinking about what’s next and what I’ll have to do to stand out, to show that I’m as good as I claim that I am. I felt like everything that naysayers and skeptics were saying was true, and I let that get to me- I let that begin to eat away at me and tear down my confidence yet strengthen my insecurity. I was losing focus of everything- I was growing obsessed with this to the point where I forgot how to enjoy this sport, how to walk away from a match with my head held high- no matter the outcome... And that was taking me down a dark path, one that thankfully loved ones, friends, and fans pulled me away from with their support and kindness.
And now after Hell on Earth? Well… I feel amazing. Like I’ve said before, I feel like my passion- my energy has been reignited. That I’ve caught second wind and nothing scares me anymore and I won’t let ANY self-doubt control me. When I faced Arata Asukara, in his debut at the PPV, where so many expected him to take the win- even myself at one point, I had to remember how to believe in myself. How to take control of my life again- And what do you know? I stand here as the number one contender to the X-Factor Championship. I had to bet on myself again.
So many in this sport take themselves and everything way too seriously. I had to remember why I became a wrestler in the first place- and it wasn't about the fame, the money, or proving myself- even though it eventually became that… It was because I found that it gave me the freedom, the satisfaction, the happiness that I couldn't find anywhere else- and in that regard? I can respect TJ and Yung Sauce. Now listen- I know that sounds crazy, but they haven't given up their ideals. No matter the losses they take, they don't let it take away from the enjoyment that they find within this.
Hopefully, this next loss they're going to take doesn't do that.
June has been an amazing month for me. From winning the X-Crown Championship in XHF, to now the OWA World Tag Team Championships with Savannah Sunshine, and now a step closer than I ever have been to finally winning the title that has escaped my grasp for so long in Project: Honor. Not to brag, but I wasn't kidding when I said the Shining Star was back, sweethearts. I've grown, I've evolved, and I've adapted.
Unfortunately, the same cannot really be said for TJ or Yung Sauce, really though, can it?
Before I finally get that title match, Emmanuelle and I have some business to take care of as a team against Big Drip Productions… and it's just about the millionth time I've run into TJ. It's been so often, that I almost feel like we're old companions- the best of friends, isn't that right, honey?
I think it's easy to say that I've grown to be a tag team specialist. From being one-half of the Celestial Lovers with Zane when she was still here- we were only defeated as a team once, I'm literally a tag team champion in OWA, and the last time Emmy and I have worked together? I helped give Emmanuelle the push she needed to get back to her winning ways. We both are confident, some would possibly even call us both too arrogant- But we both LOVE to win, and while we get along pretty well and are a cohesive unit evident by the win we earned as a team once before- if we have any issues? We can move past them and get the job done.
Emmanuelle has grown a lot since her debut in Project: Honor. I always knew what she was capable of given our past fights against each other- and she's taken me to the brink of every battle we've gone through. It's her thing to say that she hates pro wrestling, but I personally think she loves it- especially how dedicated to it she is. She puts in the work, day in and day out to be the best that she can- and she IS one of the best that this company has to offer, that Warrior Rising title around her waist proves that.
As for me?
I've found myself again- being in this company since day one as its anniversary starts to grow closer and closer, I've earned plenty of wins to my name. Again, not to brag- but I DO have the most wins in this company- but I'm not interested in wrestling just to have a statistic to boast about, darlings. I want to give the audience day in and day out a match that they'll never forget every show, I want to leave them entertained and always have the match of the night- to be the name and the face that the fans of Proving Ground constantly remember. I don't have a title, yet, but it's only a matter of time- and I won't be denied again.
As for Big Drip? As much as they have surprisingly unbreakable spirits, they haven't grown. I have to give my props, Yung Sauce gave his all against Legacy to nearly become tag champions. Lil Petey fought his hardest to become Grand Champion, and while I still don't think he earned his initial fight against Hunter, he fought with everything he had to try- both matches he was given. TJ WAS a champion here.
But I think that it's safe to say, unless to kick things up and push themselves to the next level- they've peaked. They've become journeymen- and while I do expect TJ to give me a hard fight, because he always does no matter how many times I beat him- and I expect Yung Sauce to be an even bigger challenge given I've never faced him before....
But when has that ever stopped me from overcoming the odds before? I've said it before, I'm no longer doubting myself or my abilities- and with a partner like Emmy on my side? I don't have much to doubt at all.
To put it simple, one of you- like the others, is going to tap out. Whether to Emmanuelle OR me.
And after that? I genuinely hope you two begin to try and evolve as wrestlers- while Emmy goes on to defend her title as per usual, and I become the new X-Factor Champion.
See you boys soon!
They had won at Hell on Earth against Arata Asukara- and while it was close, their quick-thinking into going for a roll-up had been definitive and pinned their opponent for three seconds. And truth be told, they hadn’t felt such excitement or satisfaction in a long time.
The match was for becoming the number one contender to the X-Factor Championship, but that wasn’t the reason why they felt the way they did at that moment. It was hard to explain- but thinking of the words Asukara had said, calling them nothing more than underdog- disregarding any and every accomplishment they had ever made, and even saying that they didn’t love pro-wrestling... They had proved him wrong. They proved Lance Williams wrong when he called them a failure. They proved that to everyone watching that the Shining Star hadn’t lost their edge, that they still had what it took. Fuck anyone that tried to say otherwise as they left the ring with the crowd cheering for them as they could for once, after a very long time, stand with their head up high- proud of their own skill. Proud of the grueling match they had just gone through, proud of themselves for instead of taking everything so serious and just allowing themselves to have fun in the ring…
Fun.
The blonde sat in their backstage room, wiping sweat from their face with a towel. They paused as they thought of the word as if it was almost like a surprise that came to them. Despite facing Asukara, someone they had no love for- they had… fun going against him. When was the last time they had such a great time wrestling? Instead of worrying over their win and loss record, instead of trying to hurt someone else to prove a point, they remembered the competitive and carefree aspect that had drawn them to becoming a wrestler in the first place. Where no one shoved expectations onto them, where they were free to do whatever they wanted. Instead of worrying about always being as close to perfection as possible, needing a championship belt to validate themself, treating every match like a life or death situation… MYOJIN used to just simply go out there and have the night of their lives.
What happened to that? Why had they grown so jaded?
The blonde could remember a time where it wasn’t always like that, as they thought back on the past.
“When are you going to outgrow this little phase of yours by now, Shouta?”
Two years ago, a younger MYOJIN, or Shouta, sat in a luxury car- their phone in their hand as they listened to the voice of their mother, Megumi Kuromiya. The occasional glow of street lights and the illuminated road reflected into the car as it made its way through the busy California nightlife. The younger version of the future wrestler looked down for a few moments, taking a deep breath- both out of irritation and nervousness as they listened to their mother- they have had the same conversation many times... Shouta knew how she felt about them going to the local indie shows and wrestling, they knew how she felt about them being a wrestler in general. She, like their father, had always had a predetermined path that she hoped they would follow- and she always seemed to think that was little more than a hobby- some sort of phase that the blonde was going through. Truth be told, it was more than that. “Why should I quit doing what I enjoy? I’m twenty-one, mom.. I’ll be twenty-two in a few months. It wouldn’t hurt you to let me try and figure out what I want to do with my life.”
They could hear her scoff over the phone. “This is a waste of your time, it’s a childish, violent little game just like your father loved to participate in- but at least he wouldn’t be doing these needlessly dangerous stunts just to entertain some people…” Megumi then sighed, going quiet- once she spoke again, her voice was less cold and judgemental and more concerned. “I always tried to keep you and your siblings from getting yourselves hurt- and yet it’s like all three of you want to end up like him, Satoshi already hasn’t even been able to walk right anymore.”
Shouta winced, the reminder of the unfortunate early retirement of their older brother was harsh. He had been forced to retire from MMA given a severe injury to his leg- something that stayed on the Kuromiya’s family mind for a long time. The relationship between the blonde’s parents had already been strained given their divorce, but after what had happened to Satoshi- that relationship grew even worse. A moment of silence grew between the two as they simply averted their gaze, looking out of the window as they
“Don’t you know that you’re worth more than this? That there’s more to your life than mindlessly fighting people at bingo halls and high school gyms?”
“That’s for me to decide- what I want to do with my time and energy. Mom, I get that you’re worried about me… but this is what I want to do. It’s my choice to spend my life the way I want to.”
“What is it that you love so much about wrestling? Why do you want to keep doing this? Shouta, I just… I just don’t understand why you enjoy putting yourself in harm’s way so much.” They could hear the frustration in their mother’s voice, and it honestly made their heart sink. They didn’t want to make her feel so stressed or worried, but they didn’t want to give up their happiness for someone else. Shouta ran a hand through their golden hair as their driver began to stop at the local indie promotion that the blonde made appearances for. Biting their lip, they thought carefully over the words they wanted to use.
“Because… there’s nothing else like it for me. In the octagon, I always felt like I was living with so much pressure on my back, and modeling just doesn’t satisfy me. When I’m out there, it doesn’t matter if I’m performing for a hundred people or none at all- but it’s like nothing else matters, there’s only me and the opponent that I’m facing. I feel free when I’m wrestling, mom. That I’m above everything and that I don’t have to answer to anyone else but myself, that I can be whoever I want and DO whatever I want. It’s my escape- and I don’t want to give that up.”
The car finally stopped. “We’re here.” The chauffeur spoke up.
Megumi was quiet for a few seconds- and Shouta felt their anxiety grow as they awaited an answer from her. But when she finally spoke, it was with an unexpected response. “If… If that’s what you really want, then I can’t stop you. I hope you know that I only just want the best for you- and I want you to be safe… But if this truly makes you happy then... Just promise me that you’ll do your best to not get hurt, okay?”
A small, warm smile grew on Shouta’s face as they grabbed their bag, stepping out. “I promise. さようなら、お母さん。わたしは、あなたを愛しています。(Bye, mom. I love you.)”
“さようなら。私もあなたを愛してます。(Goodbye. I love you too.)” And the call was over, Shouta finally felt like they could breathe for a few moments as they headed toward the building. A few friends were waiting for them, Faye and Jamie, with who they had quickly became allies with ever since their first meeting.
Faye crossed her arms, an amused grin on her face. Though she did seem a little surprised. “Look at you, arriving all fancy- What's up with that, you a secret millionaire or something?”
“Listen, can we not talk about my personal life? I've done enough of that today.” Shouta responded playfully, giving both Faye and Jamie fist bumps.
“Alright, alright... So, are you ready to go kick some ass with us tonight?” The fellow wrestler asked.
“Is that even a question?” They never felt more at home than inside of a squared circle.
“Shouta, is everything okay?” And like that, the blonde was brought back to present-day reality. MYOJIN looked up, slightly surprised as they turned to see their fiancée, Himari, standing in front of them. “You look like you were thinking about something?”
Shouta smiled brightly, “Hm? Oh, yeah, I was just remembering some things… Remembering the point of why I do this.”
Himari stepped forward, lightly stroking her hand through their hair affectionately. “Was what you remembered… good?”
They nodded, leaning their head into her loving touch.
“It was.”
I feel like I’ve been losing focus.
Before Hell on Earth, I was so… worried, so anxious about everything. About proving myself, about trying to be the best wrestler on the planet. About trying to earn respect while nervously always thinking about what’s next and what I’ll have to do to stand out, to show that I’m as good as I claim that I am. I felt like everything that naysayers and skeptics were saying was true, and I let that get to me- I let that begin to eat away at me and tear down my confidence yet strengthen my insecurity. I was losing focus of everything- I was growing obsessed with this to the point where I forgot how to enjoy this sport, how to walk away from a match with my head held high- no matter the outcome... And that was taking me down a dark path, one that thankfully loved ones, friends, and fans pulled me away from with their support and kindness.
And now after Hell on Earth? Well… I feel amazing. Like I’ve said before, I feel like my passion- my energy has been reignited. That I’ve caught second wind and nothing scares me anymore and I won’t let ANY self-doubt control me. When I faced Arata Asukara, in his debut at the PPV, where so many expected him to take the win- even myself at one point, I had to remember how to believe in myself. How to take control of my life again- And what do you know? I stand here as the number one contender to the X-Factor Championship. I had to bet on myself again.
So many in this sport take themselves and everything way too seriously. I had to remember why I became a wrestler in the first place- and it wasn't about the fame, the money, or proving myself- even though it eventually became that… It was because I found that it gave me the freedom, the satisfaction, the happiness that I couldn't find anywhere else- and in that regard? I can respect TJ and Yung Sauce. Now listen- I know that sounds crazy, but they haven't given up their ideals. No matter the losses they take, they don't let it take away from the enjoyment that they find within this.
Hopefully, this next loss they're going to take doesn't do that.
June has been an amazing month for me. From winning the X-Crown Championship in XHF, to now the OWA World Tag Team Championships with Savannah Sunshine, and now a step closer than I ever have been to finally winning the title that has escaped my grasp for so long in Project: Honor. Not to brag, but I wasn't kidding when I said the Shining Star was back, sweethearts. I've grown, I've evolved, and I've adapted.
Unfortunately, the same cannot really be said for TJ or Yung Sauce, really though, can it?
Before I finally get that title match, Emmanuelle and I have some business to take care of as a team against Big Drip Productions… and it's just about the millionth time I've run into TJ. It's been so often, that I almost feel like we're old companions- the best of friends, isn't that right, honey?
I think it's easy to say that I've grown to be a tag team specialist. From being one-half of the Celestial Lovers with Zane when she was still here- we were only defeated as a team once, I'm literally a tag team champion in OWA, and the last time Emmy and I have worked together? I helped give Emmanuelle the push she needed to get back to her winning ways. We both are confident, some would possibly even call us both too arrogant- But we both LOVE to win, and while we get along pretty well and are a cohesive unit evident by the win we earned as a team once before- if we have any issues? We can move past them and get the job done.
Emmanuelle has grown a lot since her debut in Project: Honor. I always knew what she was capable of given our past fights against each other- and she's taken me to the brink of every battle we've gone through. It's her thing to say that she hates pro wrestling, but I personally think she loves it- especially how dedicated to it she is. She puts in the work, day in and day out to be the best that she can- and she IS one of the best that this company has to offer, that Warrior Rising title around her waist proves that.
As for me?
I've found myself again- being in this company since day one as its anniversary starts to grow closer and closer, I've earned plenty of wins to my name. Again, not to brag- but I DO have the most wins in this company- but I'm not interested in wrestling just to have a statistic to boast about, darlings. I want to give the audience day in and day out a match that they'll never forget every show, I want to leave them entertained and always have the match of the night- to be the name and the face that the fans of Proving Ground constantly remember. I don't have a title, yet, but it's only a matter of time- and I won't be denied again.
As for Big Drip? As much as they have surprisingly unbreakable spirits, they haven't grown. I have to give my props, Yung Sauce gave his all against Legacy to nearly become tag champions. Lil Petey fought his hardest to become Grand Champion, and while I still don't think he earned his initial fight against Hunter, he fought with everything he had to try- both matches he was given. TJ WAS a champion here.
But I think that it's safe to say, unless to kick things up and push themselves to the next level- they've peaked. They've become journeymen- and while I do expect TJ to give me a hard fight, because he always does no matter how many times I beat him- and I expect Yung Sauce to be an even bigger challenge given I've never faced him before....
But when has that ever stopped me from overcoming the odds before? I've said it before, I'm no longer doubting myself or my abilities- and with a partner like Emmy on my side? I don't have much to doubt at all.
To put it simple, one of you- like the others, is going to tap out. Whether to Emmanuelle OR me.
And after that? I genuinely hope you two begin to try and evolve as wrestlers- while Emmy goes on to defend her title as per usual, and I become the new X-Factor Champion.
See you boys soon!