Post by MYŌJIN on Jun 18, 2021 22:42:41 GMT -5
15. Second Chance
VS Arata Asakura | Hell On Earth
“覗き見をやめろ！(Stop trying to peep!)” The soft, gentle voice of Himari- MYOJIN's girlfriend wasn't very soft at the moment. She was a little annoyed with a cute pout on her face as she stood up on her toes to place a hand over the blonde's eyes. They couldn't help but have a smile on their face as Himari's other hand found its way in theirs, guiding them down the hallway to the apartment that they lived in.
“少なくとも推測できますか？ロマンチックなディナー？コンサートのチケット？(Can I at least guess what it is? A romantic dinner? Tickets to a concert, maybe?)” They excitedly asked, their smile grew wider as they let their imagination run wild with the possibilities in mind.
“シャッ！もうすぐだ。(Ssh! We're almost there.)” Himari spoke with a little giggle as she began opening the door.
There was something very important about the day, June the 14th, for MYOJIN- or to be more exact, Shouta. They knew that Himari had something planned for the occasion. But they couldn't tell what it was, yet, as much as they had a few ideas in their mind.
But once the door was opened and Himari stepped in front of them, moving her hands from their face- They were greeted with something far better than they could have ever expected as they saw the bright smile on her face- along with the many close friends that they had made- other wrestlers from promotions they had been in, personal friends- including but not just the former Warrior Rising Champion- Emiko, or better known as Zane- , the couple of Misaki and Theodor Pavel from OWA, and of course, MYOJIN’s siblings- Akira and Satoshi. The living room of the apartment was decorated in vibrant colored balloons, ribbons, along with a banner hanging across the room along with a cake that had a little candle in the shape of the number 24.
”Happy Birthday, Shouta!” They all shouted energetically as the blonde could only stare in both surprise and indescribable happiness. Their eyes began to water as a bright, emotional smile slowly grew on their face while walking toward the group, quietly taking in all the work they had put in for the surprise party.
Why was the day important to MYOJIN? Well, that was why.
Later…
It had probably been one of the better times they’ve had in recent memory as they spent most of the day and some of the night with the people they considered as a family. Laughing, reminiscing over things, or even just simply catching up with each other. The youthful wrestler was usually one to have very low-key birthdays, ironically even though they loved the spotlight to be on themselves, they always felt very self-conscious about getting older- even if they were still in their twenties. And while they were having much fun, they had to admit that self-consciousness never truly went away- especially when they had other things on their mind to think about it.
It was now pretty late, just about everyone had headed home after giving MYOJIN a great time. They had also left much-appreciated gifts for the Shining Star. Misaki and Theodor had gotten them an expressive art book to help uniquely express their emotions, which the blonde took as a subtle way of being told to take better care of their mental health- which, admittedly, the Pavels had a point in that regard. Himari had gotten them a cooking set as MYOJIN had been trying to get better at cooking- and Emiko had given them a purple blend shawl along with an eye-catching astral pendant. MYOJIN stared down at the pendant in their hands. It was a bright, spotless near-platinum silver with an aquamarine gem sitting in the middle of a sun-shaped design. A little necklace that they would keep as a good luck charm.
They truly did appreciate all of the things they were given, and they felt content- but… well, actually, a part of them didn’t.
MYOJIN couldn’t help but reflect on their recent unfortunate luck, losing to Lance Williams in the Elite Eight tournament to decide who would become the new X-Factor Champion. The even worse part was that Lance was practically getting the championship for free, considering that the other finalist had left Project: Honor. A part of the blonde had wished they were in Lance’s position, but they shamefully stopped themselves from thinking like that- It wouldn’t feel right without fighting for the title to win it.
They were twenty-four now. It was almost close to a year, the time that they had spent in the promotion- and yet they still didn’t have anything to show for it. It was also the second Hell On Earth PPV that they would be coming into, other similar circumstances as well- taking a loss then trying to get back on track on a match in the PPV… Yet somehow even Lil Petey, the person they beat at the first Hell on Earth show, was in a better position than they were now- fighting for the Grand Championship.
They wondered… What were they doing wrong? Was it just pure bad luck, or was… was Williams right?
Were they just a failure?
“Shouta, 何か間違えている? (Is something wrong?)” Himari asked, walking over with something hidden in her hands. She sat down next to them as the blonde looked up, giving them a small smile in response.
“はい。(Yes.)” They responded, rubbing the back of their head with a deep breath as they looked up toward her- staring into those pretty brown eyes. “I’m just… Well, you know me, I’m always stressing out about SOMETHING one way or the other... I just have to figure something out if I’m going to keep doing this. I have to figure out what my fatal flaw is… I have to bring my best if I'm going to win everything coming up soon. There’s the X*Crown in XHF, the OWA Tag Titles with Savannah, and now this match for another chance and…”
They sighed, “I guess I feel like I’m going to let myself and everyone else down if I don’t think it out... I thought things would be different if I tried being more aggressive, more risky..“
Himari had something on her mind, she looked down and sat what she had aside, before taking their hands into her own with a smile at MYOJIN, “Maybe you have thought too hard, maybe you need time to think things over. I think that maybe you have to look in yourself to find the answer you’re looking for... But I can say that you have and will never let me or your friends down. That’s why I have gotten you this.”
She shyly picked up what MYOJIN now recognized to be a ring. “Himari, this..?” MYOJIN placed a hand to their chest, speechless.
“It’s a promise ring!” She announced gleefully, holding out the blonde’s hand to place it on their finger. “It’s to show that… 私はいつもあなたを愛します。(I'll always love you.)”
MYOJIN wasn't sure what to say. To say they were touched would be an understatement to the way that they felt.
“Do you like it?”
Instead of responding, the blonde simply pulled her into an affectionate hug. She squeaked in response but then laughed, running a hand through their golden hair.
“私はそれをイエスだと思います。(I take that as a yes.)”
It's crazy to believe that it's so close to being a whole year since the very beginning of this company, isn't it?
It's almost like the moment that you take a second to blink, so much can go by. We can tend to take time for granted- we're always living thinking about what's in the future, never taking time to live in the moment and realize that- sooner or later, the times we have right now will eventually become distant memories. I'm pretty guilty of that myself. But recently, I've taken time to just… think. Time to consider and look back.
Time to prepare for what lies ahead.
Most of you've always known me as either the always smiling underdog hero that is always picking a fight with someone much bigger than me. The one that often has the odds stacked against them, always up against the world. A lot of you have seen me grow throughout the past year, whether that be rooting for me or being against me- you've always seen that if I am one thing, I am resilient- and relentless. Whatever happens, you can always count on me going into that squared circle- and giving my opponent the best fight that I can, and that they'll have to throw everything they've got to keep me down. I always give my best- and when I lose? There aren't any excuses, I just dust myself off and continue to try again. No matter what loss, the plenty of championship opportunities I've lost, or even through the shoulder injury that sidelined me for a while- I come back with all the heart I've got.
And I never really thought about why that is until now, and it took a lot of thought- and I eventually figured it out that...it's because of all of you. Every single one of you that never gave up on me. That kept pushing me to do better, to get better- to train harder, you all motivated to try to top every performance in that ring that I give. The fans that have shown me love in the past gave me the resolve I needed, and the ones that have shown me hate made me want to prove them wrong.
So, I have to thank you all for that.
But...
It suddenly hit me that coming soon is Hell On Earth. For people that have watched or been with Project: Honor, they know that this is pretty much the VERY first PPV that this company ever had. They also know that in a similar fashion, I had lost a tournament to become X-Factor Champion leading up to it. And right now I just have to sit and ask myself…
Can I continue trying again, time after time? Is this finally my moment? Will it all be worth it and will I finally achieve what I've desired for so long?
Or have I lost that edge?
Am I losing my passion?
Am I… burning out?
As much as I would like to have had an easy yes, I didn't have an answer for those questions. I wasn't sure of myself or my capabilities anymore. Losing to Lance was a crushing blow to my pride, it hurt me in a way no other loss ever had- to the point where…
Learning that I'd be facing Arata Asakura in his debut match here, I felt… so unsure of myself. And I know that I couldn't come into a match with a broken mindset. I know that I needed to pick myself back up, put the pieces back together.
And find myself again.
MYOJIN took a deep breath, staring at the door of a house. It was the middle of a California day as they stared, pacing back and forth while being left in deep thought. They felt nervous- unsure of coming to the place, unsure if they would be welcomed by the old face that they were visiting. They placed their hands in the pockets of their leather jacket, hearing footsteps as someone began walking toward the door. As they saw the knob turned and the door slowly creaked open.
An older face began to peek out, a middle-aged man with fair skin and green eyes. His hair and beard were dark brown, peppered with grey streaks. The man had a slightly annoyed squint on his face, seemingly in confusion as he looked out until he recognized the face of the Shining Star- a face that he managed for in Wrestleworld and for an early time in Project: Honor.
“...Shouta? Kid?” He asked, opening the door completely as he looked toward the blonde- who had a faint grin on their face, in an attempt to come off as friendly toward the veteran-turned talent agent.
Austin Rex used to wrestle around the indies in California, and eventually at one point had become a scout for wrestlers with potential around the area. He had been the one that discovered MYOJIN, finding them wrestling in a school's basketball gym. To be fair, he had been the reason MYOJIN had ever even become a name that other companies noticed.
“Hi, Austin.. It's been a while.”
“Yeah, it has.” Austin Rex responded, raising an eyebrow. “Now what the hell are you doing here exactly?”
The blonde's smile quickly faded. Deep down, they knew that they deserved the hostility Austin was showing to them. After all, the way their partnership had ended had been very… rough. As in, MYOJIN punching Austin in the face out of anger and a misunderstanding levels of rough. “Listen, I… I, um, know that we aren't on great terms. I just..”
They scratched the back of their neck, “I just want to talk.”
Moments of awkward silence passed between the two. Austin had an unreadable expression on his face as they both stared at each other. “...You came here to my house, the last time I saw you- you tried to beat my ass, even though I had always tried to be as good of a friend as I could be, and you just want to… talk?”
MYOJIN simply winced as Austin's words grew in tone, they looked away and sighed. “Okay. I get it. I'll leave..”
Turning away, the blonde began heading back to their car. That had been such a mistake. They should have never come…-
“Wait.. Wait… What did you want to talk about, kid?” The voice behind them was hesitant… but the response brought a brightened look on their face as they turned around back to look at their former mentor and friend.
After stepping inside, Rex had offered MYOJIN a drink as the two went to sit down. Austin poured himself one as he leaned in his chair, looking toward MYOJIN as the blonde seemingly looked for their words. But Austin spoke first.
“So what brought you back here? If you're here to ask for me to manage ya again, I've retired.” Austin spoke with a small grin, his attempt to be lighthearted. MYOJIN bit their lip and looked toward him.
“What made you pick me?”
“...Huh?”
“I mean, what made me the person you sought out to sign? To manage? What was it that you saw in me?” The Shining Star asked, an almost desperation to know in their voice.
Austin paused, going to take a sip from his drink. He grunted, his jaw tightening as he looked up to speak. “Kid, ...I don't just look for anyone. I look for talented wrestlers that can walk the walk and talk the talk, but.. You? I dunno, I suppose that… That to me you just seemed to have heart. A lot of heart. I saw passion, I saw someone with a fire in their eyes- I saw someone who didn't need to ask me why I picked them, because they already knew they were that damn good.”
“What do you mean?”
“Kid, I'll admit it.. I've paid attention to ya ever since you left Wrestleworld still. I've watched a good amount of your matches. I wanted to still show you some form of support, even though you prolly didn't deserve it after what your bratty ass pulled.” Austin chuckled.
“And recently… I haven't seen that same confidence. All this time I've been seeing someone who wants everyone to believe that they're confident, that they're arrogant, that they have control over everything- but ya don't. It started ever since ya lost to that Dickie Watson for his title back then and it had gotten worse ever since. You haven't truly believed you were capable, or deserving of a big win in a long time- and maybe it's my fault, maybe I pushed you too hard into trying to be on top. Maybe it was too much pressure.”
“But you are so much better than you have given yourself credit for, Shouta- and the only person that has been holding you back for so long has been you. You're better than this… whiny, mopey, always complaining little punk who has lashes out at everything… But maybe I had simply misjudged you. Maybe you weren't ready then..”
“But… but how do I go back to that? How do I go back to that? How do I finally break this.. habit?”
Austin shook his head, “That's the problem, kid. You keep asking everyone else what you should do. You always look around for advice. You never bet on yourself- and that has to change if you want to become better. Shouta, only you know what will bring that fire back. You have to find your own path-”
“And no one can do that for you except you.”
Arata.
You and I have a little bit of history, don’t we? After all, I left your little group- your echo-chamber of people that did nothing but kiss your ass back in Japan. You’ve never really gotten over that, have you? And I guess I can understand why, you can’t stand the thought of someone not bowing down to your will and agreeing with every little thing that you do that it absolutely enrages you. You really believe that you’re some sort of God, that you’re just about above everyone else- and you create a narrative that suits you- As if you’re some sort of messiah that will save wrestling and anyone against you is either a fraud or not worthy to be in the ring in your eyes. You’re little more than just a manchild who never learned how to grow up, a little boy having a tantrum about how he’s not getting in his way whenever no one kisses his feet and treats him like the greatest thing on the planet. You’re not a hero, and you’re certainly no savior- You’re just an immature little shit that has had an ass kicking long overdue.
I knew that it would be sooner or later that you showed up in Project: Honor, even though you prefer to stay in small ponds in order to feel like you’re the best of the best. It’s actually refreshing to see you step out of your comfort zone and go to a place and fight some people that you’ve never been against before. I’m glad to see that you’re here- and after all that pondering, I think that I’m glad that management has put me up against you- because now I finally get to kick your ass.
You were a great wrestler, a young one with lots of potential and a bright future and for a while you owned up to that and kept bringing the best everywhere you went. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but at one point, I was a fan of you- I admired what you were capable of. When I first made it to the big leagues, I wanted to be like you- I wanted to be at your level. I wanted the honor of facing you in a match at some point or another.
...It’s just a shame that now you aren’t the same person as you were once then. When I look at you, I don’t see the champion material that you once were- You’re a shell of your former self who threw all that potential, all that talent away because your pride was hurt- you couldn’t handle the pressure that you faced when things started getting tougher for you. You couldn’t handle not being seen as absolutely perfect- and you still aren’t perfect, but at least you were honest to yourself and everyone around you then. At least you were genuine… Now? Now you have your head in the clouds, sweetheart, with this idea that you’re making wrestling a better place and that you love this sport more than anything else. You act like the hero, when the truth is that you’re nothing more than a delusional dumbass with a terrible chinstrap of facial hair.
You know, if you loved wrestling as much as you pretend that you do- Why is it that you’re such an insufferable little brat? You don’t do any of this because you love it, if you did- you wouldn’t crack and start running away whenever things happen to not go your way. You think you’re strong? Hiding behind your little posse doesn’t make you strong, not even a little bit. Crying and blaming everyone else around you for your faults doesn’t make you strong.
Arata, you aren’t the solution, honey. You’re just a part of the problem. You’re one of the millions of egotistical wrestlers who don’t contribute anything except yelling and stomping their feet whenever they lose, you don’t build anything up or improve anything- You simply tear down everything that doesn’t fit what you want, what your agenda is. Everything you do is for nothing or no one else, it’s just for you- You have to be the center of attention, you have to be the hero, you have to be the champion- you so desperately need to feel important, and somehow you’ve created a little cult around yourself that worships you like the idiots that they are.
And I hate that at one point, I was growing to be LIKE you. Bitter, angry at the world, instead of bettering myself I complained about everything. I pointed the finger and I kicked and screamed about everything- the difference between you and I is that I have people that care about, not just yes-men, but friends and family that have supported me throughout all of this- even when I was stubborn, and when I started to lose my focus, they always brought me back on track. They kept me in my right mind- meanwhile, you’ve been nothing but a madman who’s cut off any friendships that he once had and decided to throw everything you had away just so you could suck your own dick and pretend that you’re some cunning mastermind who will cleanse wrestling.
I know why you hate me so much- and that’s because I’m everything that you used to be, I’m everything that you’re NOT.
I’ve never run away from a challenge or backed down from a fight. No matter how many times I’ve been knocked down and swept off my feet, I’ve kept coming back for more. That’s who I am- That’s who I’ll always be, and I’ll never change from being my true self like you have. I'll be the first one to admit it and recognize that I’ve lost plenty of times, I’ve gotten my ass kicked- and there aren’t any excuses. I try to learn from the mistakes I make and instead of being angry at the world, I strive to be the best wrestler I can.
Not because of the money, not because of the fame, not even solely for the fans- but because this is my life. I LOVE this. I love heading out to the ring and wearing my heart on my sleeve, and putting on one hell of a match that the audience will never forget. I love showing to the people that enjoy watching me that no matter how hard, no matter the struggle, that you never have to give up on your dreams- and that they shouldn’t let anyone hold them back, not even their own fears or their own doubts.
I’m done second-guessing myself. I’m done always wondering what will happen if I don’t succeed, I’m done always caring about what the people who’ve always doubted me think. I’m done always worrying about being the best instead of just DOING my best and maybe that’s something you can’t understand because you’re such an insecure egomaniac, but I’ll make you see exactly what I mean.
I’ve been with Project: Honor since the very beginning. You’ve been here for just about five seconds. Through everything, and the only time I’ve taken time away is when my rotator cuff was TORN. And I sure as hell don’t fight for Rock Johnson or Indy Darling, I do this for me- and it’s taken a while to remember that. You might think that I’m scared of you, that I’m intimidated by you- but I welcome the fight. I hope that you bring your absolute best to the table and show me all that you’ve got and nothing less. I want that contendership for the X-Factor title, I want nothing more than to get my hands on Lance Williams again- and once upon a time, I’d be so worried about trying to look ahead instead of focusing on the here and now.
But that’s through.
Asakura, I want you to look down on me. I want you to continue thinking of me as nothing more than an irrelevant pest in your way- because that only works in my favor. I don’t care if you ignore any of my accomplishments, because that only makes my job easier. The longer you monologue and ramble edgy bullshit in a weak attempt to seem more important than you actually are, the more motivated I feel. And you know what? I’ve accepted the possibility that you might beat me, but you will NEVER break me or my spirit- and I will never allow myself to bow down to the likes of you.
This isn’t Strong Style Wrestling. You won’t be treated like royalty here. This is MY home. The place that I’ve been fighting for since DAY FUCKING ONE, bitch.
You’re not getting the gullible, unsure kid who was looking for their place in the world that you managed to recruit back then. I’m no longer under your control and I never will be again. Instead? You’re getting the MYOJIN that keeps coming back for more, the MYOJIN that will never stop fighting even when they don’t have a chance, the MYOJIN who fights with passion instead of spite, the MYOJIN whose smile never fades away. The old me. The real me. The Heart of Project: Honor.
The version of me that will overcome you and face Lance Williams to become X-Factor Champion. This is my second chance. My rebirth.
The Shining Star is truly back, baby.
“少なくとも推測できますか？ロマンチックなディナー？コンサートのチケット？(Can I at least guess what it is? A romantic dinner? Tickets to a concert, maybe?)” They excitedly asked, their smile grew wider as they let their imagination run wild with the possibilities in mind.
“シャッ！もうすぐだ。(Ssh! We're almost there.)” Himari spoke with a little giggle as she began opening the door.
There was something very important about the day, June the 14th, for MYOJIN- or to be more exact, Shouta. They knew that Himari had something planned for the occasion. But they couldn't tell what it was, yet, as much as they had a few ideas in their mind.
But once the door was opened and Himari stepped in front of them, moving her hands from their face- They were greeted with something far better than they could have ever expected as they saw the bright smile on her face- along with the many close friends that they had made- other wrestlers from promotions they had been in, personal friends- including but not just the former Warrior Rising Champion- Emiko, or better known as Zane- , the couple of Misaki and Theodor Pavel from OWA, and of course, MYOJIN’s siblings- Akira and Satoshi. The living room of the apartment was decorated in vibrant colored balloons, ribbons, along with a banner hanging across the room along with a cake that had a little candle in the shape of the number 24.
”Happy Birthday, Shouta!” They all shouted energetically as the blonde could only stare in both surprise and indescribable happiness. Their eyes began to water as a bright, emotional smile slowly grew on their face while walking toward the group, quietly taking in all the work they had put in for the surprise party.
Why was the day important to MYOJIN? Well, that was why.
Later…
It had probably been one of the better times they’ve had in recent memory as they spent most of the day and some of the night with the people they considered as a family. Laughing, reminiscing over things, or even just simply catching up with each other. The youthful wrestler was usually one to have very low-key birthdays, ironically even though they loved the spotlight to be on themselves, they always felt very self-conscious about getting older- even if they were still in their twenties. And while they were having much fun, they had to admit that self-consciousness never truly went away- especially when they had other things on their mind to think about it.
It was now pretty late, just about everyone had headed home after giving MYOJIN a great time. They had also left much-appreciated gifts for the Shining Star. Misaki and Theodor had gotten them an expressive art book to help uniquely express their emotions, which the blonde took as a subtle way of being told to take better care of their mental health- which, admittedly, the Pavels had a point in that regard. Himari had gotten them a cooking set as MYOJIN had been trying to get better at cooking- and Emiko had given them a purple blend shawl along with an eye-catching astral pendant. MYOJIN stared down at the pendant in their hands. It was a bright, spotless near-platinum silver with an aquamarine gem sitting in the middle of a sun-shaped design. A little necklace that they would keep as a good luck charm.
They truly did appreciate all of the things they were given, and they felt content- but… well, actually, a part of them didn’t.
MYOJIN couldn’t help but reflect on their recent unfortunate luck, losing to Lance Williams in the Elite Eight tournament to decide who would become the new X-Factor Champion. The even worse part was that Lance was practically getting the championship for free, considering that the other finalist had left Project: Honor. A part of the blonde had wished they were in Lance’s position, but they shamefully stopped themselves from thinking like that- It wouldn’t feel right without fighting for the title to win it.
They were twenty-four now. It was almost close to a year, the time that they had spent in the promotion- and yet they still didn’t have anything to show for it. It was also the second Hell On Earth PPV that they would be coming into, other similar circumstances as well- taking a loss then trying to get back on track on a match in the PPV… Yet somehow even Lil Petey, the person they beat at the first Hell on Earth show, was in a better position than they were now- fighting for the Grand Championship.
They wondered… What were they doing wrong? Was it just pure bad luck, or was… was Williams right?
Were they just a failure?
“Shouta, 何か間違えている? (Is something wrong?)” Himari asked, walking over with something hidden in her hands. She sat down next to them as the blonde looked up, giving them a small smile in response.
“はい。(Yes.)” They responded, rubbing the back of their head with a deep breath as they looked up toward her- staring into those pretty brown eyes. “I’m just… Well, you know me, I’m always stressing out about SOMETHING one way or the other... I just have to figure something out if I’m going to keep doing this. I have to figure out what my fatal flaw is… I have to bring my best if I'm going to win everything coming up soon. There’s the X*Crown in XHF, the OWA Tag Titles with Savannah, and now this match for another chance and…”
They sighed, “I guess I feel like I’m going to let myself and everyone else down if I don’t think it out... I thought things would be different if I tried being more aggressive, more risky..“
Himari had something on her mind, she looked down and sat what she had aside, before taking their hands into her own with a smile at MYOJIN, “Maybe you have thought too hard, maybe you need time to think things over. I think that maybe you have to look in yourself to find the answer you’re looking for... But I can say that you have and will never let me or your friends down. That’s why I have gotten you this.”
She shyly picked up what MYOJIN now recognized to be a ring. “Himari, this..?” MYOJIN placed a hand to their chest, speechless.
“It’s a promise ring!” She announced gleefully, holding out the blonde’s hand to place it on their finger. “It’s to show that… 私はいつもあなたを愛します。(I'll always love you.)”
MYOJIN wasn't sure what to say. To say they were touched would be an understatement to the way that they felt.
“Do you like it?”
Instead of responding, the blonde simply pulled her into an affectionate hug. She squeaked in response but then laughed, running a hand through their golden hair.
“私はそれをイエスだと思います。(I take that as a yes.)”
It's crazy to believe that it's so close to being a whole year since the very beginning of this company, isn't it?
It's almost like the moment that you take a second to blink, so much can go by. We can tend to take time for granted- we're always living thinking about what's in the future, never taking time to live in the moment and realize that- sooner or later, the times we have right now will eventually become distant memories. I'm pretty guilty of that myself. But recently, I've taken time to just… think. Time to consider and look back.
Time to prepare for what lies ahead.
Most of you've always known me as either the always smiling underdog hero that is always picking a fight with someone much bigger than me. The one that often has the odds stacked against them, always up against the world. A lot of you have seen me grow throughout the past year, whether that be rooting for me or being against me- you've always seen that if I am one thing, I am resilient- and relentless. Whatever happens, you can always count on me going into that squared circle- and giving my opponent the best fight that I can, and that they'll have to throw everything they've got to keep me down. I always give my best- and when I lose? There aren't any excuses, I just dust myself off and continue to try again. No matter what loss, the plenty of championship opportunities I've lost, or even through the shoulder injury that sidelined me for a while- I come back with all the heart I've got.
And I never really thought about why that is until now, and it took a lot of thought- and I eventually figured it out that...it's because of all of you. Every single one of you that never gave up on me. That kept pushing me to do better, to get better- to train harder, you all motivated to try to top every performance in that ring that I give. The fans that have shown me love in the past gave me the resolve I needed, and the ones that have shown me hate made me want to prove them wrong.
So, I have to thank you all for that.
But...
It suddenly hit me that coming soon is Hell On Earth. For people that have watched or been with Project: Honor, they know that this is pretty much the VERY first PPV that this company ever had. They also know that in a similar fashion, I had lost a tournament to become X-Factor Champion leading up to it. And right now I just have to sit and ask myself…
Can I continue trying again, time after time? Is this finally my moment? Will it all be worth it and will I finally achieve what I've desired for so long?
Or have I lost that edge?
Am I losing my passion?
Am I… burning out?
As much as I would like to have had an easy yes, I didn't have an answer for those questions. I wasn't sure of myself or my capabilities anymore. Losing to Lance was a crushing blow to my pride, it hurt me in a way no other loss ever had- to the point where…
Learning that I'd be facing Arata Asakura in his debut match here, I felt… so unsure of myself. And I know that I couldn't come into a match with a broken mindset. I know that I needed to pick myself back up, put the pieces back together.
And find myself again.
MYOJIN took a deep breath, staring at the door of a house. It was the middle of a California day as they stared, pacing back and forth while being left in deep thought. They felt nervous- unsure of coming to the place, unsure if they would be welcomed by the old face that they were visiting. They placed their hands in the pockets of their leather jacket, hearing footsteps as someone began walking toward the door. As they saw the knob turned and the door slowly creaked open.
An older face began to peek out, a middle-aged man with fair skin and green eyes. His hair and beard were dark brown, peppered with grey streaks. The man had a slightly annoyed squint on his face, seemingly in confusion as he looked out until he recognized the face of the Shining Star- a face that he managed for in Wrestleworld and for an early time in Project: Honor.
“...Shouta? Kid?” He asked, opening the door completely as he looked toward the blonde- who had a faint grin on their face, in an attempt to come off as friendly toward the veteran-turned talent agent.
Austin Rex used to wrestle around the indies in California, and eventually at one point had become a scout for wrestlers with potential around the area. He had been the one that discovered MYOJIN, finding them wrestling in a school's basketball gym. To be fair, he had been the reason MYOJIN had ever even become a name that other companies noticed.
“Hi, Austin.. It's been a while.”
“Yeah, it has.” Austin Rex responded, raising an eyebrow. “Now what the hell are you doing here exactly?”
The blonde's smile quickly faded. Deep down, they knew that they deserved the hostility Austin was showing to them. After all, the way their partnership had ended had been very… rough. As in, MYOJIN punching Austin in the face out of anger and a misunderstanding levels of rough. “Listen, I… I, um, know that we aren't on great terms. I just..”
They scratched the back of their neck, “I just want to talk.”
Moments of awkward silence passed between the two. Austin had an unreadable expression on his face as they both stared at each other. “...You came here to my house, the last time I saw you- you tried to beat my ass, even though I had always tried to be as good of a friend as I could be, and you just want to… talk?”
MYOJIN simply winced as Austin's words grew in tone, they looked away and sighed. “Okay. I get it. I'll leave..”
Turning away, the blonde began heading back to their car. That had been such a mistake. They should have never come…-
“Wait.. Wait… What did you want to talk about, kid?” The voice behind them was hesitant… but the response brought a brightened look on their face as they turned around back to look at their former mentor and friend.
After stepping inside, Rex had offered MYOJIN a drink as the two went to sit down. Austin poured himself one as he leaned in his chair, looking toward MYOJIN as the blonde seemingly looked for their words. But Austin spoke first.
“So what brought you back here? If you're here to ask for me to manage ya again, I've retired.” Austin spoke with a small grin, his attempt to be lighthearted. MYOJIN bit their lip and looked toward him.
“What made you pick me?”
“...Huh?”
“I mean, what made me the person you sought out to sign? To manage? What was it that you saw in me?” The Shining Star asked, an almost desperation to know in their voice.
Austin paused, going to take a sip from his drink. He grunted, his jaw tightening as he looked up to speak. “Kid, ...I don't just look for anyone. I look for talented wrestlers that can walk the walk and talk the talk, but.. You? I dunno, I suppose that… That to me you just seemed to have heart. A lot of heart. I saw passion, I saw someone with a fire in their eyes- I saw someone who didn't need to ask me why I picked them, because they already knew they were that damn good.”
“What do you mean?”
“Kid, I'll admit it.. I've paid attention to ya ever since you left Wrestleworld still. I've watched a good amount of your matches. I wanted to still show you some form of support, even though you prolly didn't deserve it after what your bratty ass pulled.” Austin chuckled.
“And recently… I haven't seen that same confidence. All this time I've been seeing someone who wants everyone to believe that they're confident, that they're arrogant, that they have control over everything- but ya don't. It started ever since ya lost to that Dickie Watson for his title back then and it had gotten worse ever since. You haven't truly believed you were capable, or deserving of a big win in a long time- and maybe it's my fault, maybe I pushed you too hard into trying to be on top. Maybe it was too much pressure.”
“But you are so much better than you have given yourself credit for, Shouta- and the only person that has been holding you back for so long has been you. You're better than this… whiny, mopey, always complaining little punk who has lashes out at everything… But maybe I had simply misjudged you. Maybe you weren't ready then..”
“But… but how do I go back to that? How do I go back to that? How do I finally break this.. habit?”
Austin shook his head, “That's the problem, kid. You keep asking everyone else what you should do. You always look around for advice. You never bet on yourself- and that has to change if you want to become better. Shouta, only you know what will bring that fire back. You have to find your own path-”
“And no one can do that for you except you.”
Arata.
You and I have a little bit of history, don’t we? After all, I left your little group- your echo-chamber of people that did nothing but kiss your ass back in Japan. You’ve never really gotten over that, have you? And I guess I can understand why, you can’t stand the thought of someone not bowing down to your will and agreeing with every little thing that you do that it absolutely enrages you. You really believe that you’re some sort of God, that you’re just about above everyone else- and you create a narrative that suits you- As if you’re some sort of messiah that will save wrestling and anyone against you is either a fraud or not worthy to be in the ring in your eyes. You’re little more than just a manchild who never learned how to grow up, a little boy having a tantrum about how he’s not getting in his way whenever no one kisses his feet and treats him like the greatest thing on the planet. You’re not a hero, and you’re certainly no savior- You’re just an immature little shit that has had an ass kicking long overdue.
I knew that it would be sooner or later that you showed up in Project: Honor, even though you prefer to stay in small ponds in order to feel like you’re the best of the best. It’s actually refreshing to see you step out of your comfort zone and go to a place and fight some people that you’ve never been against before. I’m glad to see that you’re here- and after all that pondering, I think that I’m glad that management has put me up against you- because now I finally get to kick your ass.
You were a great wrestler, a young one with lots of potential and a bright future and for a while you owned up to that and kept bringing the best everywhere you went. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but at one point, I was a fan of you- I admired what you were capable of. When I first made it to the big leagues, I wanted to be like you- I wanted to be at your level. I wanted the honor of facing you in a match at some point or another.
...It’s just a shame that now you aren’t the same person as you were once then. When I look at you, I don’t see the champion material that you once were- You’re a shell of your former self who threw all that potential, all that talent away because your pride was hurt- you couldn’t handle the pressure that you faced when things started getting tougher for you. You couldn’t handle not being seen as absolutely perfect- and you still aren’t perfect, but at least you were honest to yourself and everyone around you then. At least you were genuine… Now? Now you have your head in the clouds, sweetheart, with this idea that you’re making wrestling a better place and that you love this sport more than anything else. You act like the hero, when the truth is that you’re nothing more than a delusional dumbass with a terrible chinstrap of facial hair.
You know, if you loved wrestling as much as you pretend that you do- Why is it that you’re such an insufferable little brat? You don’t do any of this because you love it, if you did- you wouldn’t crack and start running away whenever things happen to not go your way. You think you’re strong? Hiding behind your little posse doesn’t make you strong, not even a little bit. Crying and blaming everyone else around you for your faults doesn’t make you strong.
Arata, you aren’t the solution, honey. You’re just a part of the problem. You’re one of the millions of egotistical wrestlers who don’t contribute anything except yelling and stomping their feet whenever they lose, you don’t build anything up or improve anything- You simply tear down everything that doesn’t fit what you want, what your agenda is. Everything you do is for nothing or no one else, it’s just for you- You have to be the center of attention, you have to be the hero, you have to be the champion- you so desperately need to feel important, and somehow you’ve created a little cult around yourself that worships you like the idiots that they are.
And I hate that at one point, I was growing to be LIKE you. Bitter, angry at the world, instead of bettering myself I complained about everything. I pointed the finger and I kicked and screamed about everything- the difference between you and I is that I have people that care about, not just yes-men, but friends and family that have supported me throughout all of this- even when I was stubborn, and when I started to lose my focus, they always brought me back on track. They kept me in my right mind- meanwhile, you’ve been nothing but a madman who’s cut off any friendships that he once had and decided to throw everything you had away just so you could suck your own dick and pretend that you’re some cunning mastermind who will cleanse wrestling.
I know why you hate me so much- and that’s because I’m everything that you used to be, I’m everything that you’re NOT.
I’ve never run away from a challenge or backed down from a fight. No matter how many times I’ve been knocked down and swept off my feet, I’ve kept coming back for more. That’s who I am- That’s who I’ll always be, and I’ll never change from being my true self like you have. I'll be the first one to admit it and recognize that I’ve lost plenty of times, I’ve gotten my ass kicked- and there aren’t any excuses. I try to learn from the mistakes I make and instead of being angry at the world, I strive to be the best wrestler I can.
Not because of the money, not because of the fame, not even solely for the fans- but because this is my life. I LOVE this. I love heading out to the ring and wearing my heart on my sleeve, and putting on one hell of a match that the audience will never forget. I love showing to the people that enjoy watching me that no matter how hard, no matter the struggle, that you never have to give up on your dreams- and that they shouldn’t let anyone hold them back, not even their own fears or their own doubts.
I’m done second-guessing myself. I’m done always wondering what will happen if I don’t succeed, I’m done always caring about what the people who’ve always doubted me think. I’m done always worrying about being the best instead of just DOING my best and maybe that’s something you can’t understand because you’re such an insecure egomaniac, but I’ll make you see exactly what I mean.
I’ve been with Project: Honor since the very beginning. You’ve been here for just about five seconds. Through everything, and the only time I’ve taken time away is when my rotator cuff was TORN. And I sure as hell don’t fight for Rock Johnson or Indy Darling, I do this for me- and it’s taken a while to remember that. You might think that I’m scared of you, that I’m intimidated by you- but I welcome the fight. I hope that you bring your absolute best to the table and show me all that you’ve got and nothing less. I want that contendership for the X-Factor title, I want nothing more than to get my hands on Lance Williams again- and once upon a time, I’d be so worried about trying to look ahead instead of focusing on the here and now.
But that’s through.
Asakura, I want you to look down on me. I want you to continue thinking of me as nothing more than an irrelevant pest in your way- because that only works in my favor. I don’t care if you ignore any of my accomplishments, because that only makes my job easier. The longer you monologue and ramble edgy bullshit in a weak attempt to seem more important than you actually are, the more motivated I feel. And you know what? I’ve accepted the possibility that you might beat me, but you will NEVER break me or my spirit- and I will never allow myself to bow down to the likes of you.
This isn’t Strong Style Wrestling. You won’t be treated like royalty here. This is MY home. The place that I’ve been fighting for since DAY FUCKING ONE, bitch.
You’re not getting the gullible, unsure kid who was looking for their place in the world that you managed to recruit back then. I’m no longer under your control and I never will be again. Instead? You’re getting the MYOJIN that keeps coming back for more, the MYOJIN that will never stop fighting even when they don’t have a chance, the MYOJIN who fights with passion instead of spite, the MYOJIN whose smile never fades away. The old me. The real me. The Heart of Project: Honor.
The version of me that will overcome you and face Lance Williams to become X-Factor Champion. This is my second chance. My rebirth.
The Shining Star is truly back, baby.