Post by DARIUS WALKER on Jun 16, 2021 21:56:22 GMT -5
 [START RECORDING.] What is up, my people. For those who don’t know me by now, the name is Yung Sauce and despite best efforts to those that might think I’m some sort of joke or laughing stock to the whole match, I think that within this recording, you’ll find yourself thinking if I’m really all about the way I portray myself to others- Fuck. I can’t do this. [END RECORDING.] Days go by before Sauce would give this another shot. He’s nervous, as he should be, this is a very big moment for him and if he fucks this up, he might not ever have another chance at glory again. [START RECORDING.] Here’s what’ll go down in just over a week, okay? There’s going to be eight different bodies stuck inside of that structure -- which, for one point, doesn’t look so safe and looks like a kid’s playground, which might be how they sell me in there but oh well -- but at the end of the day, the main focus is on that Project; Honor Warrior Rising Championship. I know there’s gonna be some eyes on me asking if I should be in this match or not and to be frank- probably not. Dammit. I’m trying to sell myself as someone good- [END RECORDING.] How many times is this now to attempt an intro to this promotional package? About forty-seven times. [START RECORDING.] I’ll keep it real with you- I probably don’t-- FUCK MAN. [END RECORDING.] Make that forty-eight. [START RECORDING.] Seven people I gotta run through in one sitting? Ight bet. Here we fucking go then. First name off the top of my head is uh… Brandon Phoeni- OH YEAH! AYO! ALLESANDRO DEVASTATION?! HELL YEAH, WE BEATING THE AMERICAN DREAM DOWN BABY! Oh, wait, this ain’t him. Anyway, when I see someone like Brandon Hendrix, then I see someone that… ugh, what do you even make of this? The dude sounds and acts like a rip off of Allesandro Devastation -- who’s already a rip off of someone else -- and he just makes it… shittier. Like come on, dude, you come out to POWER? Guess who else does that, dude. Allesandro Devastation. You use a spear? Nice, guess who else does. Allesandro Devastation. You call yourself a king? Proud of ya, man. Though, I think Allesandro Devastation calls himself a tyrant. Wait, that was Warstein-- Fuck, I can’t say his name anymore. [END RECORDING.] And just as it was getting interesting too. Sauce thinks he fucked it up. Another day goes by for the young kid as he reviews the footage he has already. Maybe he’ll be happy knowing that in the rule book, naming people who walked out of the company in bullshit manners is not something that’s a fine. [START RECORDING.] What can I say? You seem to find yourself being much like someone that everyone hates so much. It seems as if everything you do is just like a furry who takes dick but I’m not one to judge, it’s pride month after all and well-- no, i can’t. Either way, you can’t stand against me or do anything to me, because for as much you might think your critics are shitting on your promos, they’re telling the truth. I mean, I can’t imagine knowing your debuting opponent the night of the show when a match card never even came to light yet. That’s crazy man, you’re from the future but I’m playing chess and you’re playing checkers. You ain’t shit and you’ll never be shit. Welcome to my brand, bitch. I don’t own a championship but you definitely ain’t welcomed here. Who the fuck is next… uhhh... shit. [END RECORDING.] Oh, come on, Sauce. You had a running start and you fucked it up. Anyway, the next name is Valkyrie. Just remember that name. Make it feel like it’s a Drip or Not episode! They work for you, don’t they? Yeah? Yeah. [START RECORDING.] I thought this bitch was in Fallout? Since when did she move over here? Ah well, she’s welcomed I guess. I mean, nobody knows who you are… nobody cares about who you are… and you must have left because you didn’t take the loss well. Considering some of your tweets on Twitter, you’re one sensitive bitch, aren’t you? I understand that losing a title shot is sad but if you’re gonna whine and move brand, at least have some respect? Like come on, fam. Don’t be the fuckin’ snowflake, that’s such a pussy move! I thought that Fallout had all of them big time names, big time players, rough and tough fighters, and yet you send the pussy over? Fuck outta here. If she takes this loss, she might be gone for good. I ain’t gonna complain tho, snowflakes get NO DRIP! Fuck outta here for real. [END RECORDING.] That wasn’t that bad either! I mean… you might have pushed a few buttons along the way but hey, this is what people do and when they find something to complain, they go to Twitter or whatever fucking website there is, right? That’s what got Jason Long banned from the site four times at least from what we’re aware of. Anyway… next name is Pat the Postman…. Should be fun. [START RECORDING.] Honest to god. I ain’t ever seen this man win ONE MATCH and yet he’s here. Zero wins? Zero drip. There’s a reason they say that the comedians never win matches. Word to that person who said it, may have been Petey. [END RECORDING.] Well uh… okay then. Another couple of days go by and guess what… the show is in three fucking days! Do you wanna know what happened? Pre-celebrations between the boys of Big Drip Productions and well, lost any train of thought for the promotional package. Either way, he’s back again, and well, different backdrop because he’s travelling, you know? Fuck it, let’s get back into it. And… the next person on the list is… Cadillac Jackson. [START RECORDING.] Awh man, this dude is GOOFY. Dude is just as bad as fuckin’ Lance right now, man. One win and he’s celebrating it like he’s won the fucking Grand Championship, it’s plain HONKY SHIT and it’s repetitive. Dumb as hell and really shouldn’t be here. We beat this dude before, just the other day to be exact! I know he’s gonna be fuming if he loses this match, or tell everyone he never lost this match, but come on now dawg, we all know the secret to your bullshit. You ain’t Shawn Warstein. Take a fuckin’ hike if you gonna be like that dawg. But you’re also just like Lance right now, because as much as we might have seen you with that swag and that drip… you don’t got it anymore, fam. Kinda like I just don’t got it anymore. Fucking christ above- [END RECORDING.] You were doing so good but you fucked it up once again. Alright, here’s how we’re going to do things now. Let's boost our self-confidence and let’s make sure that we don’t put ourselves down. Besides, this next part is about Big Drip Productions themselves! Well.. maybe just TJ Thompson with the addition of Scott Oasis but we all know what I mean, right? [START RECORDING.] Yeah, this sucks. But you know what? We move with it. Teej and Scooter are my boys, they back me through everything and we’ve been through thick and thin -- but to be against them in this match and to have my back against the wall, it’s stressful -- but though we might not be together, I’ll always have your back. If I gotta sacrifice myself for you two, I will. I just ask for the same, boys. I really do. Though y’all got to hold the title, I never did. I’m understanding that y’all might have wanted to do more but… I’ve not had to break out like what y’all have. I’ll be there for y’all and if I cannot fight anymore, I’ll sacrifice myself for y’all. But this is my night, fams. I wanna be able to do things my own way and although I love y’all so much, I can’t do things the drip way. I gotta break some walls down and bring in a new style, I guess. It’s gonna be tough though that is a fucking fact. After it’s all said and done, let’s celebrate like it’s the fucking SuperBowl we won- Can I even make that reference as a Canadian? Fuck, I’ll cut that bit out. [END RECORDING.] Fucking idiot. Right, final stretch. Address the champion in her state right now and then boom, we’re over with. Should be easy -- but then again, Sauce is absolutely shaking in fear because of the anxiety kicking in -- and that’s putting down the whole mood as it is. Emmanuelle’s some tough competition and Sauce knows that all too well. She’s the current champion and even the Wrestleworld- oh wait, she ain’t no more. I guess use that as a plot device? I don’t fucking know. Just remember, Saucy… final stretch and then homebound. [START RECORDING.] Emmanuelle, you oriental bitch- [END RECORDING.] Okay… racism ISN’T what we’re going for here. Let’s start over. [START RECORDING.] I’ve been sitting here and wondering what I could come firing back with and to be frank with you, Emmanuelle, I realised that the points I made beforehand have seemed to be more true than ever before. Remember when I said you act as if you’re running around being queen shit of fuck mountain? Yeah, nah. I realised a whole lot lately that you really aren’t about all that talk man. What happened to the girl with the big dreams and what happened to the bitch who could take down monasteries with a single punch? Everyone’s tryna be the next big thing these days but come on, y’all act like you don’t get that moment of self-confidence dropping down to an all time low and out of nowhere, you feel as if you can’t do it. You’re all about making yourself out to be the unique one of them all, there’ll never be another person like Emmanuelle, and maybe you might be right but you share the same type of traits as many. “Nobody can touch me. Nobody can beat me. I’m the best thing since sliced bread.” Look, Emmanuelle, I probably said it before but what you’re trying to be and how you’re portraying yourself has been done so many times here before, and it’s getting quite irritating because so many people actually just fuck up what they’re attempting and it makes the whole vibe just not be worth a fucking shit. It’s like that saying. Fragile egos are a sign of fragile men. You might not be a man, but you’ve become so fragile that even a touch could break you into pieces. Much like how losing the Wrestleworld Shogun Championship has broken you. Much like how you’ve shaved your head because of it. You’re broken but I just came to pick up the pieces that I needed. I came to pick up the Project: Honor Warrior Rising Championship from you. Heh. Not bad for your newly and openly pansexual kid, eh? [END RECODING.] Wow. That was… wow. Powerful shit, won’t even fucking lie. I think with this fire, Saucy might actually fucking win this though he’s gotta keep it between now and then, and not be distracted by the many before him. Though behind the cameras are very much different. Sauce felt a whole lot of shit taken off his chest with that final line he spoke. Was he going to be accepted? Were people going to be happy for him? The kid sure fucking hoped so. This is like a coming of age moment for him, and that’s fine, because this is his decision. Now there’s only one thing left to do before finally putting an end to this shit. [START RECORDING.] SHHHHEEEEEEESSHHHHHHHH! LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! [END RECORDING.] |