│GONNA GET GOOD│ [It will never get easy]
Jun 13, 2021 9:48:55 GMT -5
CallMeRobert, Mark Hunter, and 1 more like this
Post by gothmother on Jun 13, 2021 9:48:55 GMT -5
BEFORE THE FALL [BABY YOU HAD IT ALL]
[Rio de Janeiro, Brazil] Aftermath Disputed Territory
You win some, you lose some.
Truer words may never have been spoken, but that didn’t make them any better. Losing was nothing to be ashamed of. It happened to the best of us, but you had to decide how to deal with it. Anger. Frustration. Accusations. Or, and that was the way Elena DeDraca usually picked, taking a breather. Away from the spotlight and all the leeches waiting there for her. The people that liked to praise her when she was on a run, but were all too quick to laugh the moment she fell. She knew their faces, but not their names. Maybe this was somehow arrogant, but she didn’t care.
Tonight was nothing different. Warstein had to give it his all and a little more to defend her. So while her head knew there was nothing to be ashamed of, her ego was fighting a different battle. It took all of her strength to not just attack after the bell, ripping through people left and right. Instead of doing that she walked backstage, taking ways no one else knew. The last thing she wanted, or needed, was anyone patting her on the shoulder. No matter how much she loved them, they still didn’t understand the complexity of her character. Not only the person she portrayed in front of the crowd, but the woman that walked among them.
Tomorrow we talk.
She was quick enough to sneak into her lockeroom to get some fresh clothes. In a speed that would make the Flash jealous she cleaned herself, stepping back outside. Careful as always when something like this happens. She looked down on herself, the worn out jeans and the matching boots. A ripped shirt and probably the eldest bag she owned. From a distance she spotted her husband with the tiny figure she called her best friend. And even though every fibre of her body shouted at her, she dragged closer. Their voices weren’t all that loud, but enough for her to follow the conversation.
“Where is she? Warstein has returned and we have seen her walk up that ramp. How could I’ve missed her?”
Mark sounded honestly concerned, but then again he did most of the time. There was a small sting in her chest, but she had to shake it off. Elena had run before, vanishing and shutting the world out. But this was something different, she simply wanted to breathe. And knew she would return in a few days.
“Maybe because she wanted us to miss her, Mark? I thought you figured your wife out by now. If Elena DeDraca wants not to be seen, she will move in the shadows. And the way I know her, she had all of this figured out beforehand.”
“I wish she would stop running. I wanna be there for her… “
The little female reached out and grabbed his hand, way more gentle than anyone would expect her too. Alexandra Kelly was not keen on showing too much emotions, unless you thought of anger, rage and bloodthirst. But when she looked up at Mark Kristianson, you could see some softness in her eyes.
“Look, I am not sure I can explain this to you the right way. I am not the most eloquent when it comes to relationship goals and what not. But I know that Elena loves you and won’t just fuck off into the sunset. But I also know that, despite the people in her life, there are things she has to fight out with herself.”
It was obvious that he wanted to interrupt her, but that only brought him the typical Pixie expression. She wasn't done yet.
“I know the girl a little longer than you do and I have seen her biggest hits and misses. She is intelligent enough to know that despite the outcome, tonight was far from a miss. But just because her head knows one thing, doesn’t mean that her heart is ready to agree. I will make a promise at her expense, in a few days she will walk back into your guys house. Probably bringing presents from somewhere you have never heard of.”
Elena couldn’t help herself but smile, only a little. Her whole body did hurt at this point, but the scene itself had something touching. In this moment she knew two things for sure. One, she loved this man unconditionally. Two, if she remained here another moment- she wouldn’t be able to go. So without taking another look she turned around, walking off outside of the arena. The area was still pretty empty, considering the event was still going. But for Elena DeDraca the night ended there.
See you later?!
ANY OTHER WAY [WOULD YOU REMEMBER MY FACE]
[Tromsø, Norway]
When the world is too loud, you have to find your own silence. People that were at peace with themselves, could withstand being alone with their thoughts. And while the first two days were rough, today was different. After feeling sorry for herself, yeah that happened too, Elena pushed herself over that. Lots of monologues with herself were necessary to do so, but the outcome was the same.
For the first time in a few days she left the beautiful, little house. She didn’t even remember when she bought it, but probably sometime after watching a documentary about the nordic gods. There was this certain fascination when it came to history, one that Isabella shared with her. The little girl never was too fond of regular goodnight stories. Even when she was still very small back then, she was demanding. Just like her mother, huh? She wanted to learn all about Odin and Valhalla. And often enough had Elena dress up as a Valkyrie.
The things you do for those you love.
And while she could have gone anywhere, something did drag her here. This morning she had walked down to reach the water, sitting on the stones. Some way too strong coffee resting next to her. And even though it was summer in Norway too, the mornings were still chill. Here and there a few joggers would pass her by, but very rarely. There was a reason she bought this house, and paid extra. With her eyes closed she enjoyed the sound the waves gave away when crashing. It took her a moment to notice that something was blocking the sun from reaching her. Inhaling deeply she didn’t need to open her eyes to know who had found her. Probably without effort.
“I didn’t think you would take the trip… .”
There was no response at this point but the figure was moving. The woman, whose face was covered by huge sunglasses, sat down next to her. For a long moment they both stared out into the sea. The wildness of Norway was worth a moment of silence.
“How could I stay behind when you have lost your way?”
“I haven’t… .”
The voice of the woman was deep and somewhat serious, but by no means judgy. Elena though was so used to constantly defending herself, that she jumped on it. But the atmosphere between the two remained calm.
“What other name would you give it, Elena? You have been on top of the world. Like Warstein said, you have been their golden calf. But the moment you take a misstep, they let you fall like hot garbage. And how did you respond? With absence.”
As much as those words pained her, they were true. In the past days she had enough time to think this through. The way the company treated their talent, or mistreated it. Ever since signing with them she had been giving it her all. But the moment she was dethroned, none of them gave anything to her.
“Weren’t you the one teaching me to rather leave than destroying yourself? I knew what was going to happen if I remained. I felt the urge to cause havoc and to spill blood. But I don’t wanna be that person anymore, máthair. Not after it took a lifetime to better myself. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
The other person was smiling. Slightly. But the wrinkles gave it away. For a moment she would reach out and grab Elena’s hand. Like always they were warm, but the grip was hard.
“What I wanted for you was to find yourself in this life. And I think you did. But your work is not done yet, Elena. We’ve spent so much time fighting against what you think are your flaws. And so often I did tell you that every flaw can be turned into a strength, but you didn’t believe me. Young hearts always know better… .”
“What do you mean?”
“Isn’t it obvious? When it comes to your career, you have nothing left to lose. They praised you and they crucified you. They loved you and forgot about you. So what is there left to make them feel anything? Listen inside yourself, my little Raven, you always knew it. There is a time for everything, just like every version of you was good at the time. But you are so much more than what this industry wants to make you.”
Elena looked at her for a long moment. It was as if she hadn’t aged a day in the past ten years. Yet they both knew that this wasn't true. The hair had turned silver and her once so beautiful face, even with the scars, had seen too many wars. But for Elena she would always be the most beautiful creature walking this earth.
“What if I am not ready to let go? I have been trying so hard to tame what seemed like a burden… what if I can’t control it?”
“Can’t control it? In my long life on this planet I haven’t seen anyone like you, Elena. Especially when it comes to self control. But that is the point I am trying to make. Let go of it. They didn’t appreciate you at your best, so maybe it is time they find out about your worst. Not for Izzy, Finn or Dimitri. But for yourself. There are those that play with fire and then there are those that are the fire.”
The woman pulled Elena into her arms. It was a gesture of comfort, but there was more to this. The well known scent combined with the steady heartbeat. In this moment she knew that there was nothing that could possibly go wrong.
“If I take this step, máthair, there is no way back. We both know that, although I believe that you always knew. That every let down, every bit of betrayal and every broken heart was just preparation for this. There is a time for everything and now pretty much feels like we are heading into a war.”
“You don’t have to fear what’s there to come. What’s there that you can’t survive, or haven’t met yet? They will try to test you and keep you down, but you my love will paint it all red. You will move mountains without breaking a sweat. Let them come for you, we know the outcome.”
With a lot less effort than Elena expected the woman got up, moving slightly away from her. Just like every other time a part of her heart broke. She wanted to reach out to keep her around, but also knew that this was pointless. Instead asked the one question she always did.
“Will I see you again?”
“You will until you don’t.”
And like every other time there was this answer. For what seemed like a lifetime she looked after the figure moving away from her. There were still so many things she didn’t know and some she probably never would. But in this moment Elena felt something she thought was nothing more than a distant memory. And even though she had no word for the feeling, she knew it was there.
As long as I am standing, the war is not over.
GONNA GET GOOD [IT WILL NEVER GET EASY]
[Caracas, Venezuela]
Once more she was over swamped by the feeling of not fitting in. All around her people were laughing and dancing, enjoying life like they didn’t have anything to worry about. But that was the thing, most people only thought as far as they could see. But not Elena DeDraca. For every situation ahead of her, she had three scenarios in her head. And how things could go wrong. People would describe her as focused, souveren and goal orientated. To a degree they were right, but they would never know about the storm that was constantly going on inside her head.
And they never will.
If she had the tendency to isolate before, it is even worse now. She didn’t feel the need to see her co- workers, or speak with management. It was hard enough to make the decision to even return. She was happy in her life, or at least that was what she thought. When allowing herself to have a little rerun of her time in Project Honor, she began to doubt that feeling. Was she really good with her standing? Or was she just tolerating people using her as a stepping stone? Those that constantly felt the need to speak about her, obviously so uninteresting themselves that they tried to steal her shine. Or Rock Johnson. Yeah that guy. Where was he when she was getting back on track, licking her wounds? Kissing up asses of newcomers that didn’t hold a candle to her.
Good. We will dance.
It was hard to tell where Elena DeDraca was located. For whatever reason it would remind the viewer of the backroom of a bar. Probably even something they used to store stuff. Elena was standing besides a small, dirty window- looking outside. It was not clear if she saw anything out there, but her body remained motionless for a long time. Even though it was a warm summer day she had decided to wear a coat. For dramatics more than for keeping herself warm. When she finally turned towards the camera the one thing that stuck out the most was her blood red lipstick. Combined with her pale, porcelain skin it painted a perfect contrast. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest, looking towards the camera with that well known stoic expression.
“I bet you were all having a party at my expense, right? Hoping that I pack my things and leave for good. Allowing someone else to shine in Project Honor. I will give you that, I thought of it for just a second. So I understand and hope that you enjoyed the moment, but it is over now. I am not going anywhere, no matter how hard you try to push. To be fair, your best effort doesn’t feel harder than a tickle. Life's a bitch and then you die.”
All this time while she was talking her body remained still. If it hadn’t been for her chest moving, you could have thought she was frozen.
“Shall we talk about fairness? Not only in life but in this company. I feel that is one of the subjects that most in higher places like to avoid. I am the least whiny person you will find on this damn roster, but give me a break. Here I am preparing, well drinking, for a match that is not even necessary in the slightest. I have the cleanest record if you wanna talk about facts. I had one loss. And that was me losing the Legacy title. Sucks, eh? But right now I need to step up into a contender's match against someone that hardly is in my league. No offense Pixels, but you know that I am right. I am very grateful that you beat the shit out of Kayla Richards and took her title, but what else? When did you become part of the Legacy scene? Now the other Elena, you know the good little soldier, would have congratulated you. Hyping you up and telling you to give it your best. But... that person died during her last battle. And since then, I am in charge now and I will try to phrase that as nice as possible; things will fucking change. I don’t give a flying fuck how good you think you are, I tell you here and now- I am better.”
“I didn’t know that life could be so simple. There is no need to see the best in people, in the end they will all disappoint you anyhow. Although when you are prepared for it, can they really? Speaking of disappointment though, how great is it to not have a Legacy champion anymore? Didn’t go right as planned, Rocky- pooh. I can accept that Shawn Warstein beat me. He needed two tries to do so, but still he did a good job. But just like I’ve seen it so many times, he couldn’t withstand the pressure that comes with it. It might be an ego thing, but why would this be my problem? Correct, it isn’t.”
She took a few steps away from the winter, underneath her boots a cloud of dust was forming. For just a moment she looked at it, almost fascinated.
“But enough of the past, we are not going there. Pixie Sloane. First of all, I will never accept another Pixie in my life that isn’t Alexandra Kelly. You can counter this as much as you want, but from now on you are either fake Pixie, or just Sloane. I don’t even know if that is your real name, if so then your parents probably should have stayed away from the green. Or was it magic mushrooms? Free love and calling your kids starsine and what not. No judging. No caring. I will not deny that you have had a good run in the company. You have done things that others would call great. But that's the problem, love, I am not others. In my eyes you have done nothing spectacular. Sure you are the noble champion, but as much as I dislike Kayla, you took the title from a tired deer. So is it really that much of an achievement? Maybe.”
“All these months I have been preaching to all of you the same thing. Hilarious, me and preaching, but you get the idea. I said don’t fake it. I said put everything on the line if you wanna get your name out there. And who did? No one. No wait, that is not completely true. You got someone like Mason Destruction that speaks the right language. But that is every bit of impressment I have seen as of late. And while I tried to accept the things I can’t change...I’ve realized something. What I can’t change, I will simply destroy. I have done it in the past and don’t doubt for a second that I won’t do it again. What is there left to lose? Friends? Family? My good reputation?”
Elena now looked directly into the camera, an evil grin playing around her lips. She looked as scary as she was inviting. A strange combination.
“I would say that the train has left the station. Why would I care about those minor details? I got no friends in Project Honor and that was never my intention in the first place. Family? That is no subject that has anything to do with the work I am doing. And my reputation, well what’s the worst that people can say about me? She hit me so hard that I fainted?. I do realise that this might be coming at you hard, but I finally can breathe freely. So go tell everybody, Elena DeDraca doesn’t care about consequences. I don’t bend to anyone’s rules any longer. And if you wanna doubt me, you are in for a reality check. Fake Pixie will just be the first of many. Let’s pretend this is nothing more than a wrestling match, if it makes you feel better. That two females enter the ring and after the match we can shake hands and walk away. Do you have the picture in front of your inner eye?”
She took a dramatic pause.
“Good - now burn it, because none of this is going to happen. I will go out there and destroy my opponent. It is so simple that it has a certain beauty, right? I don’t care about anyone’s sad story or how they just chase their dreams. To me you are nothing. No one. I gave my everything to Project Honor. I devoted myself to making them big. And what did I get? Nothing. The moment I took a misstep, they dropped me like hot garbage. Which is fine, tells more about them then it does about me. For whatever happens from now on, to your precious roster, you are to blame. Not me. I have given you the chance to set things right. Again and again. But you decided to ignore me. And while you could say that is very rude towards a woman, it is also a very big mistake. Nothing is worse than the fury of a pissed off female. Leave alone one that fights like me.”
“How does it feel, fake Pixie to be cannon fodder? Only because people in higher places don’t think through their decisions. They are too busy faking it. There is one thing you can write down though, they will tell you to be yourself. But that is the biggest bullshit ever. They want you to be yourself as long as it suits their motives. You get it, don’t you? So now might be the time to stop trying. Keep your championship, I couldn’t care less. You hold nothing that has me interested. And maybe you think that my ego is getting the better of me, but I have a question for you. Why not? I have gone through hell and back to be where I am today, so why remain humble? So everyone else can feel better? I don’t think so.”
Elena slowly walked back towards the window, once more looking outside. She ran her index finger over the dirt. A little smile hushed over her face, but the viewer would never get to see it. Her back turned towards the camera.
“I wanted to be the champion Project Honor deserves. I wanted to be the best version of myself, without realising that with every step of the way I lost a little of myself. To a degree I didn’t recognise the female staring back at me in the mirror. But don’t you worry, I woke up from this deep slumber. There is a very small part of me that still knows the difference between right and wrong. But the bigger and louder part screams so loud it hurts in my head. The battle is over. But my war has just begun. Fake Pixie isn’t prepared for what is coming next. She might think so, looking back at all she has done till now. But none of those challenges came close to me. There is a reason I run as the leader of the pack. Words are only this, words. But my actions have the tendency to destroy worlds. And people. If you survive this, good. If you don’t, nice try.”
“At this point of the story it doesn’t matter if you bring your A game or not, the cards are on the table. I won’t stop till I am done, taking back what is mine. The reign of the Hydra isn’t over yet. No amount of Pixie Dust will change that either. But don’t collapse just yet, I promise if you are blackout below my feet- I will clap my hands. Isn’t that how you bring back Pixies? In case you want to.”
She looked over her shoulder, her expression as emotionless as before.
“There is a lot more to come from Elena DeDraca. You can watch me drown this company. But for now let me leave you with this. You didn’t deserve me at my best, now live with my worst.”
[Rio de Janeiro, Brazil] Aftermath Disputed Territory
You win some, you lose some.
Truer words may never have been spoken, but that didn’t make them any better. Losing was nothing to be ashamed of. It happened to the best of us, but you had to decide how to deal with it. Anger. Frustration. Accusations. Or, and that was the way Elena DeDraca usually picked, taking a breather. Away from the spotlight and all the leeches waiting there for her. The people that liked to praise her when she was on a run, but were all too quick to laugh the moment she fell. She knew their faces, but not their names. Maybe this was somehow arrogant, but she didn’t care.
Tonight was nothing different. Warstein had to give it his all and a little more to defend her. So while her head knew there was nothing to be ashamed of, her ego was fighting a different battle. It took all of her strength to not just attack after the bell, ripping through people left and right. Instead of doing that she walked backstage, taking ways no one else knew. The last thing she wanted, or needed, was anyone patting her on the shoulder. No matter how much she loved them, they still didn’t understand the complexity of her character. Not only the person she portrayed in front of the crowd, but the woman that walked among them.
Tomorrow we talk.
She was quick enough to sneak into her lockeroom to get some fresh clothes. In a speed that would make the Flash jealous she cleaned herself, stepping back outside. Careful as always when something like this happens. She looked down on herself, the worn out jeans and the matching boots. A ripped shirt and probably the eldest bag she owned. From a distance she spotted her husband with the tiny figure she called her best friend. And even though every fibre of her body shouted at her, she dragged closer. Their voices weren’t all that loud, but enough for her to follow the conversation.
“Where is she? Warstein has returned and we have seen her walk up that ramp. How could I’ve missed her?”
Mark sounded honestly concerned, but then again he did most of the time. There was a small sting in her chest, but she had to shake it off. Elena had run before, vanishing and shutting the world out. But this was something different, she simply wanted to breathe. And knew she would return in a few days.
“Maybe because she wanted us to miss her, Mark? I thought you figured your wife out by now. If Elena DeDraca wants not to be seen, she will move in the shadows. And the way I know her, she had all of this figured out beforehand.”
“I wish she would stop running. I wanna be there for her… “
The little female reached out and grabbed his hand, way more gentle than anyone would expect her too. Alexandra Kelly was not keen on showing too much emotions, unless you thought of anger, rage and bloodthirst. But when she looked up at Mark Kristianson, you could see some softness in her eyes.
“Look, I am not sure I can explain this to you the right way. I am not the most eloquent when it comes to relationship goals and what not. But I know that Elena loves you and won’t just fuck off into the sunset. But I also know that, despite the people in her life, there are things she has to fight out with herself.”
It was obvious that he wanted to interrupt her, but that only brought him the typical Pixie expression. She wasn't done yet.
“I know the girl a little longer than you do and I have seen her biggest hits and misses. She is intelligent enough to know that despite the outcome, tonight was far from a miss. But just because her head knows one thing, doesn’t mean that her heart is ready to agree. I will make a promise at her expense, in a few days she will walk back into your guys house. Probably bringing presents from somewhere you have never heard of.”
Elena couldn’t help herself but smile, only a little. Her whole body did hurt at this point, but the scene itself had something touching. In this moment she knew two things for sure. One, she loved this man unconditionally. Two, if she remained here another moment- she wouldn’t be able to go. So without taking another look she turned around, walking off outside of the arena. The area was still pretty empty, considering the event was still going. But for Elena DeDraca the night ended there.
See you later?!
ANY OTHER WAY [WOULD YOU REMEMBER MY FACE]
[Tromsø, Norway]
When the world is too loud, you have to find your own silence. People that were at peace with themselves, could withstand being alone with their thoughts. And while the first two days were rough, today was different. After feeling sorry for herself, yeah that happened too, Elena pushed herself over that. Lots of monologues with herself were necessary to do so, but the outcome was the same.
For the first time in a few days she left the beautiful, little house. She didn’t even remember when she bought it, but probably sometime after watching a documentary about the nordic gods. There was this certain fascination when it came to history, one that Isabella shared with her. The little girl never was too fond of regular goodnight stories. Even when she was still very small back then, she was demanding. Just like her mother, huh? She wanted to learn all about Odin and Valhalla. And often enough had Elena dress up as a Valkyrie.
The things you do for those you love.
And while she could have gone anywhere, something did drag her here. This morning she had walked down to reach the water, sitting on the stones. Some way too strong coffee resting next to her. And even though it was summer in Norway too, the mornings were still chill. Here and there a few joggers would pass her by, but very rarely. There was a reason she bought this house, and paid extra. With her eyes closed she enjoyed the sound the waves gave away when crashing. It took her a moment to notice that something was blocking the sun from reaching her. Inhaling deeply she didn’t need to open her eyes to know who had found her. Probably without effort.
“I didn’t think you would take the trip… .”
There was no response at this point but the figure was moving. The woman, whose face was covered by huge sunglasses, sat down next to her. For a long moment they both stared out into the sea. The wildness of Norway was worth a moment of silence.
“How could I stay behind when you have lost your way?”
“I haven’t… .”
The voice of the woman was deep and somewhat serious, but by no means judgy. Elena though was so used to constantly defending herself, that she jumped on it. But the atmosphere between the two remained calm.
“What other name would you give it, Elena? You have been on top of the world. Like Warstein said, you have been their golden calf. But the moment you take a misstep, they let you fall like hot garbage. And how did you respond? With absence.”
As much as those words pained her, they were true. In the past days she had enough time to think this through. The way the company treated their talent, or mistreated it. Ever since signing with them she had been giving it her all. But the moment she was dethroned, none of them gave anything to her.
“Weren’t you the one teaching me to rather leave than destroying yourself? I knew what was going to happen if I remained. I felt the urge to cause havoc and to spill blood. But I don’t wanna be that person anymore, máthair. Not after it took a lifetime to better myself. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
The other person was smiling. Slightly. But the wrinkles gave it away. For a moment she would reach out and grab Elena’s hand. Like always they were warm, but the grip was hard.
“What I wanted for you was to find yourself in this life. And I think you did. But your work is not done yet, Elena. We’ve spent so much time fighting against what you think are your flaws. And so often I did tell you that every flaw can be turned into a strength, but you didn’t believe me. Young hearts always know better… .”
“What do you mean?”
“Isn’t it obvious? When it comes to your career, you have nothing left to lose. They praised you and they crucified you. They loved you and forgot about you. So what is there left to make them feel anything? Listen inside yourself, my little Raven, you always knew it. There is a time for everything, just like every version of you was good at the time. But you are so much more than what this industry wants to make you.”
Elena looked at her for a long moment. It was as if she hadn’t aged a day in the past ten years. Yet they both knew that this wasn't true. The hair had turned silver and her once so beautiful face, even with the scars, had seen too many wars. But for Elena she would always be the most beautiful creature walking this earth.
“What if I am not ready to let go? I have been trying so hard to tame what seemed like a burden… what if I can’t control it?”
“Can’t control it? In my long life on this planet I haven’t seen anyone like you, Elena. Especially when it comes to self control. But that is the point I am trying to make. Let go of it. They didn’t appreciate you at your best, so maybe it is time they find out about your worst. Not for Izzy, Finn or Dimitri. But for yourself. There are those that play with fire and then there are those that are the fire.”
The woman pulled Elena into her arms. It was a gesture of comfort, but there was more to this. The well known scent combined with the steady heartbeat. In this moment she knew that there was nothing that could possibly go wrong.
“If I take this step, máthair, there is no way back. We both know that, although I believe that you always knew. That every let down, every bit of betrayal and every broken heart was just preparation for this. There is a time for everything and now pretty much feels like we are heading into a war.”
“You don’t have to fear what’s there to come. What’s there that you can’t survive, or haven’t met yet? They will try to test you and keep you down, but you my love will paint it all red. You will move mountains without breaking a sweat. Let them come for you, we know the outcome.”
With a lot less effort than Elena expected the woman got up, moving slightly away from her. Just like every other time a part of her heart broke. She wanted to reach out to keep her around, but also knew that this was pointless. Instead asked the one question she always did.
“Will I see you again?”
“You will until you don’t.”
And like every other time there was this answer. For what seemed like a lifetime she looked after the figure moving away from her. There were still so many things she didn’t know and some she probably never would. But in this moment Elena felt something she thought was nothing more than a distant memory. And even though she had no word for the feeling, she knew it was there.
As long as I am standing, the war is not over.
GONNA GET GOOD [IT WILL NEVER GET EASY]
[Caracas, Venezuela]
Once more she was over swamped by the feeling of not fitting in. All around her people were laughing and dancing, enjoying life like they didn’t have anything to worry about. But that was the thing, most people only thought as far as they could see. But not Elena DeDraca. For every situation ahead of her, she had three scenarios in her head. And how things could go wrong. People would describe her as focused, souveren and goal orientated. To a degree they were right, but they would never know about the storm that was constantly going on inside her head.
And they never will.
If she had the tendency to isolate before, it is even worse now. She didn’t feel the need to see her co- workers, or speak with management. It was hard enough to make the decision to even return. She was happy in her life, or at least that was what she thought. When allowing herself to have a little rerun of her time in Project Honor, she began to doubt that feeling. Was she really good with her standing? Or was she just tolerating people using her as a stepping stone? Those that constantly felt the need to speak about her, obviously so uninteresting themselves that they tried to steal her shine. Or Rock Johnson. Yeah that guy. Where was he when she was getting back on track, licking her wounds? Kissing up asses of newcomers that didn’t hold a candle to her.
Good. We will dance.
It was hard to tell where Elena DeDraca was located. For whatever reason it would remind the viewer of the backroom of a bar. Probably even something they used to store stuff. Elena was standing besides a small, dirty window- looking outside. It was not clear if she saw anything out there, but her body remained motionless for a long time. Even though it was a warm summer day she had decided to wear a coat. For dramatics more than for keeping herself warm. When she finally turned towards the camera the one thing that stuck out the most was her blood red lipstick. Combined with her pale, porcelain skin it painted a perfect contrast. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest, looking towards the camera with that well known stoic expression.
“I bet you were all having a party at my expense, right? Hoping that I pack my things and leave for good. Allowing someone else to shine in Project Honor. I will give you that, I thought of it for just a second. So I understand and hope that you enjoyed the moment, but it is over now. I am not going anywhere, no matter how hard you try to push. To be fair, your best effort doesn’t feel harder than a tickle. Life's a bitch and then you die.”
All this time while she was talking her body remained still. If it hadn’t been for her chest moving, you could have thought she was frozen.
“Shall we talk about fairness? Not only in life but in this company. I feel that is one of the subjects that most in higher places like to avoid. I am the least whiny person you will find on this damn roster, but give me a break. Here I am preparing, well drinking, for a match that is not even necessary in the slightest. I have the cleanest record if you wanna talk about facts. I had one loss. And that was me losing the Legacy title. Sucks, eh? But right now I need to step up into a contender's match against someone that hardly is in my league. No offense Pixels, but you know that I am right. I am very grateful that you beat the shit out of Kayla Richards and took her title, but what else? When did you become part of the Legacy scene? Now the other Elena, you know the good little soldier, would have congratulated you. Hyping you up and telling you to give it your best. But... that person died during her last battle. And since then, I am in charge now and I will try to phrase that as nice as possible; things will fucking change. I don’t give a flying fuck how good you think you are, I tell you here and now- I am better.”
“I didn’t know that life could be so simple. There is no need to see the best in people, in the end they will all disappoint you anyhow. Although when you are prepared for it, can they really? Speaking of disappointment though, how great is it to not have a Legacy champion anymore? Didn’t go right as planned, Rocky- pooh. I can accept that Shawn Warstein beat me. He needed two tries to do so, but still he did a good job. But just like I’ve seen it so many times, he couldn’t withstand the pressure that comes with it. It might be an ego thing, but why would this be my problem? Correct, it isn’t.”
She took a few steps away from the winter, underneath her boots a cloud of dust was forming. For just a moment she looked at it, almost fascinated.
“But enough of the past, we are not going there. Pixie Sloane. First of all, I will never accept another Pixie in my life that isn’t Alexandra Kelly. You can counter this as much as you want, but from now on you are either fake Pixie, or just Sloane. I don’t even know if that is your real name, if so then your parents probably should have stayed away from the green. Or was it magic mushrooms? Free love and calling your kids starsine and what not. No judging. No caring. I will not deny that you have had a good run in the company. You have done things that others would call great. But that's the problem, love, I am not others. In my eyes you have done nothing spectacular. Sure you are the noble champion, but as much as I dislike Kayla, you took the title from a tired deer. So is it really that much of an achievement? Maybe.”
“All these months I have been preaching to all of you the same thing. Hilarious, me and preaching, but you get the idea. I said don’t fake it. I said put everything on the line if you wanna get your name out there. And who did? No one. No wait, that is not completely true. You got someone like Mason Destruction that speaks the right language. But that is every bit of impressment I have seen as of late. And while I tried to accept the things I can’t change...I’ve realized something. What I can’t change, I will simply destroy. I have done it in the past and don’t doubt for a second that I won’t do it again. What is there left to lose? Friends? Family? My good reputation?”
Elena now looked directly into the camera, an evil grin playing around her lips. She looked as scary as she was inviting. A strange combination.
“I would say that the train has left the station. Why would I care about those minor details? I got no friends in Project Honor and that was never my intention in the first place. Family? That is no subject that has anything to do with the work I am doing. And my reputation, well what’s the worst that people can say about me? She hit me so hard that I fainted?. I do realise that this might be coming at you hard, but I finally can breathe freely. So go tell everybody, Elena DeDraca doesn’t care about consequences. I don’t bend to anyone’s rules any longer. And if you wanna doubt me, you are in for a reality check. Fake Pixie will just be the first of many. Let’s pretend this is nothing more than a wrestling match, if it makes you feel better. That two females enter the ring and after the match we can shake hands and walk away. Do you have the picture in front of your inner eye?”
She took a dramatic pause.
“Good - now burn it, because none of this is going to happen. I will go out there and destroy my opponent. It is so simple that it has a certain beauty, right? I don’t care about anyone’s sad story or how they just chase their dreams. To me you are nothing. No one. I gave my everything to Project Honor. I devoted myself to making them big. And what did I get? Nothing. The moment I took a misstep, they dropped me like hot garbage. Which is fine, tells more about them then it does about me. For whatever happens from now on, to your precious roster, you are to blame. Not me. I have given you the chance to set things right. Again and again. But you decided to ignore me. And while you could say that is very rude towards a woman, it is also a very big mistake. Nothing is worse than the fury of a pissed off female. Leave alone one that fights like me.”
“How does it feel, fake Pixie to be cannon fodder? Only because people in higher places don’t think through their decisions. They are too busy faking it. There is one thing you can write down though, they will tell you to be yourself. But that is the biggest bullshit ever. They want you to be yourself as long as it suits their motives. You get it, don’t you? So now might be the time to stop trying. Keep your championship, I couldn’t care less. You hold nothing that has me interested. And maybe you think that my ego is getting the better of me, but I have a question for you. Why not? I have gone through hell and back to be where I am today, so why remain humble? So everyone else can feel better? I don’t think so.”
Elena slowly walked back towards the window, once more looking outside. She ran her index finger over the dirt. A little smile hushed over her face, but the viewer would never get to see it. Her back turned towards the camera.
“I wanted to be the champion Project Honor deserves. I wanted to be the best version of myself, without realising that with every step of the way I lost a little of myself. To a degree I didn’t recognise the female staring back at me in the mirror. But don’t you worry, I woke up from this deep slumber. There is a very small part of me that still knows the difference between right and wrong. But the bigger and louder part screams so loud it hurts in my head. The battle is over. But my war has just begun. Fake Pixie isn’t prepared for what is coming next. She might think so, looking back at all she has done till now. But none of those challenges came close to me. There is a reason I run as the leader of the pack. Words are only this, words. But my actions have the tendency to destroy worlds. And people. If you survive this, good. If you don’t, nice try.”
“At this point of the story it doesn’t matter if you bring your A game or not, the cards are on the table. I won’t stop till I am done, taking back what is mine. The reign of the Hydra isn’t over yet. No amount of Pixie Dust will change that either. But don’t collapse just yet, I promise if you are blackout below my feet- I will clap my hands. Isn’t that how you bring back Pixies? In case you want to.”
She looked over her shoulder, her expression as emotionless as before.
“There is a lot more to come from Elena DeDraca. You can watch me drown this company. But for now let me leave you with this. You didn’t deserve me at my best, now live with my worst.”
