Post by James Raven on Jun 2, 2021 22:58:10 GMT -5
JACKSON: … explain it to me again, what the hell are we here for?
Jackson Hart, remember him? You don’t? Well, yeah, that makes sense... James’ protege hasn’t been around all that much lately, but we assure you that he’s still kickin’ around, and at this moment cooly swirling a drink in his hand.
Noah Jackson, remember him? Of course you do, how could you forget good ole Noah Jay? It’s not like there are any other Aussie’s around Project: Honor that he could be confused with. Oh, apologies to Aiden Reynolds. Anyways, Noah’s head peeks up from behind a thick book at the head of the table and looks at Jackson Hart, miffed.
NOAH: D&D, cunt. I thought you were familiar with table games?
JACKSON: Yeah. Poker. Where you win money and pretty girls serve you drinks. This is… um…different?
The rest of Legacy walks into the living room, and following behind them are Sebastian Everett Bryce….The Third… and Sloane Taylor. Sloane can barely contain her excitement, although I don’t think it’s because of the game they’re all about to play, merely that she’s walking behind James Raven (if you catch my drift).
RAVEN: Yes, Jax. It’s different. For a reason.
SHAWN: I mean, normally I wouldn’t be caught dead wasting a game night on Dungeons and Dragons, but this is a momentous occasion.
NOAH: Yeah ya cunts!
JACKSON: And why is it so momentous?
Raven smiles.
RAVEN: Because after months and months of begging… we finally….
NOAH: Got Pregnant?
BETSY: Started your dual Onlyfans?
JACKSON: Hey! I was going to say that!
Betsy winks at Jackson Hart, who takes a sip of his drink and shakes his head in dismay.
SHAWN: No, no, no. If Raven and I were pregnant the world wouldn’t know what to do with itself and would implode under the sheer awesomeness of that love child...
RAVEN: And we would break all sorts of records on Onlyfans...
SHAWN: No. We are finally-
Raven cuts Shawn off mid sentence.
RAVEN: Finally defending our Project: Honor Tag Team Titles!!!!
Noah and Jax share a quick look before laughing. Sloane begins to clap, but quickly stops when she realizes no one else is joining her in the applause.
SEB: Well, isn’t that a right change of pace! Warstein and Raven’s abs defending their titles...right Sloane?
Sloane quickly elbows SEB in the ribs.
SLOANE: Hush.
Shawn smirks over towards Raven, as James leans in to whisper quietly.
RAVEN: What’s her deal today?
SHAWN: It’s likely because of you.
RAVEN: What about me?
Shawn points down at Ravens bare abs. Did we mention he was shirtless this whole time? No? Well, he was. ABS ARE HERE!
SHAWN: That’s one reason, also you’re kinda like….
Shawn clears his throat and lifts his voice to a piercing falsetto.
SHAWN: “Like OMG it’s Raven, he shouldn’t be talking to someone like me. He’s soooooooooooo” *coughHACKcough* … dreamy.
SLOANE: That’s not true Shawn!
SHAWN: Okay….. if you say so.
Raven leans over to Betsy who hands James a shirt. He pulls it over his head, hiding the goods, and SEB huffs loudly.
SEB: See what you did, Sloane?!
SLOANE: What?! I didn’t do anything!
Noah Jackson, having seen enough, tosses a handful of dice over the table and attempts to regain everyone’s attention.
NOAH: Okay! Enough eye-fucking the pretty boy! That’s what you all have Twitter accounts for, but this is game night!
JACKSON: Thank God! Can we get moving then?
Noah smiles and hands everyone a sheet of paper, except for Betsy and Raven who have produced their own, and for some reason missing SEB and Sloane in the process. The group each begin to study their sheets, and Noah pulls out a sparkler from his pocket and lights the tip. As the sparks shower all over the table, he slyly pulls out a flashlight and shines it under his chin.
NOAH: Welcome weary travelers, to the great land of Cunttopia. This journey is going to be harrowing, and you will be met with many challenges both from the various beings you will encounter, as well as from yourselves. Not all of you will make it through to the end. Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to Dungeons and Dickheads! Where Legacy and their compatriots will have to do battle with the many foes that have been in their path before, and see if we can ascend to the top once again….
Noah grabs a laser pen and shines it onto the chest of Shawn.
NOAH: First we have, The Lord of Gold, Master Of War. With the strength of one hundred men, and an unassuming shrug that will cause any foe to freeze in their tracks.
Warstein
Level 1
(Barbarian)
Strength
Warstein hits the group with his trademarked shrug.
SHAWN: What can I say? I am pretty awesome.
Noah moves the pointer over to Raven and Betsy, as she rests her head on Raven’s shoulder and smiles towards their Dungeon Master. He just shakes his head in only minor disgust.
NOAH: Then we have “the lovers”. Apart they are both strong and more than capable of taking on any task that is before them, but together there is nothing that can stop them! Blessed with magic and the ability to have two brains at once!
Betsy smiles, a soft “awwwww” escaping her lips as she looks up at James sweetly and the two go over their character cards.
BETSY
Level 2
(Druid)
Wisdom
Mask of Many Faces: Shapeshifting into animal forms.
JAMES
Level 2
(Sorcerer)
Charisma
Font of Magic: has tapped into their magical abilities and has sorcery points to cast more powerful magic.
SHAWN: WHAT THE FUCK NOAH! WHY ARE THEY LEVEL TWO?!? I’m your dad for fuck sake!
Noah gets a worried look on his face as he looks towards Betsy, who gives him a reassuring nod and smile.
NOAH: They brought their own character cards. I’m not going to tell them no, they’re like family.
Shawn doesn’t seem happy with that answer. He senses collusion.
RAVEN: C’mon, Warstein… You think I’ve been with Betsy for this long, and never been included in a campaign?
SHAWN: Whatever, by the time this is done I’ll be level fifty, you bitches!
NOAH: That’s the spirit! Jax is up next.
The laser point falls on Jax’s forehead as he takes a sip from his drink.
JACKSON: I literally couldn’t care less, dude. I don’t need the whole rigmarole setting up my character, just give me the stats.
NOAH: Fine.
JACKSON
Level 1
(Paladin)
Strength
NOAH: Okay, so that’s everyone.
SEB clears his throat and raises a hand at the far end of the table, glancing at Sloane who’s also been excluded from the introduction.
SEB: Ahem…
NOAH: Oh fuck! I forgot that you guys were gonna be here!
Jackson Hart looks curiously to Noah.
JACKSON: Why are they here?
SHAWN: They’re my friends.
RAVEN: You have friends?
SEB: Acquaintances…
SLOANE: Shawn’s my friend!
SEB: I’m sure he is.
Sloane shoots dagger eyes to SEB.
SLOANE: Hush, SEB! This is Shawn and I’s game night, and we both agreed that we need to invite more people. Legacy has these sorts of get togethers already, and we were invited, so play nice!
Shawn interjects.
SHAWN: Yeah, basically there’s only so many times I can beat her at….
Sloane is having none of it.
SLOANE: He loses most of the games we play.
SHAWN: Not most!
Noah is getting impatient with the bickering, and looks to get Sloane and SEB involved.
NOAH: Since Dad decided to open a Legacy game to outsiders…. uhhh….
Noah taps the pen on his cheek. Then points the pen towards the two of them, moving it between the two of them. He hastily writes up two character cards and passes them to the duo.
NOAH: I give you the man with the gift of gab and the ability to turn any situation on its head with merely his voice.
Seb
Level 2
(Bard)
Charisma
Unseen Servant: Invisible air elemental with 1 HP. Can cause mischief but is mostly useless in battle.
SEB seems reasonably pleased with that.
NOAH: And by his side is the bubbly monk. I know it’s odd to see a monk with this much personality since Tony Schloub but without the crippling OCD and dead wife.
About half the people at the table don’t seem to understand the reference. Ugh. These young kids and their refusal to watch classic programming…
Sloane
Level 2
(Monk)
Dexterity
Ki: Harness the mystic power of Ki to deliver a more powerful attack. “Flurry of Blows”.
Raven smiles.
RAVEN: HA! I bet she knows all about blows…
SLOANE: What?
RAVEN: Blows.
Sloane looks to SEB for clarification. He motions for a blow job.
Sloane/BETSY: JAMES!
Shawn looks over the table, noticing something is amiss.
SHAWN: No, no, no! There’s no chance Seb and Sloane brought character cards, we all watched you write them up. Why are they level 2?!
NOAH: I DON’T KNOW, DAD! They’re our guests and I’m being a gracious host?!
Warstein hisses through his teeth.
SHAWN: Fuck. That. Make me a level 2… now.
Noah rolls his eyes.
NOAH: Come on, if I do that then I’ll have to do it for everyone.
SHAWN: You ALREADY DID! Well... except for Jax, who doesn’t care. My house, my rules!
NOAH: I’m an adult Dad!
SHAWN: Just make me a level FUCKING two!
Noah mutters under his breath.
NOAH: … wouldn’t act like this if Kasey was here…
SHAWN: What was that?!
NOAH: Nothing. This introduction is taking entirely too long! In the interest of moving this along…. Fine! You’re a level two barbarian now. You now have a special skill.
Warstein
Level 2
(Barbarian)
Strength
Reckless Attack: It greatly increases your offensive striking, but catapults your defense so low that a feather could take you down.
RAVEN: Ha. All gas, no brakes! You’re the Atlanta Falcons!
Shawn glances at Raven, seething.
SHAWN: It’s all jokes until you remember that you’re a Bills fan.
NOAH: Moving on…. Let’s get this game started! The six of you approach a cave, tentatively you all enter without issue...
The cave is damp, dark and barely visible. Betsy pulls out a dry match, lighting a torch that hangs on the wall. With a sudden whoosh, torch after torch are set ablaze and light up the dreary cave.
RAVEN: Hey guys, this is unrelated to what we’re doing here… but lighting these torches just reminded me… fuck Pyro.
Off in the distance you can hear water dripping down a rock face, and the group stands eagerly awaiting their first actions.
“Maybe we should formulate a plan.” Betsy poses to the group, “There are two paths to take and I don’t think we should split up.”
“I’m going to agree.” Raven affirms his beloved's suggestion.
“Okay. I’ll go wherever James goes.” Sloane smiles, as SEB rolls his eyes.
“Whatever. I could be at the pub right now.” he mutters.
“Fine, we do what Betsy says.” Shawn chimes in, but sees Jax nervously tapping his leg, “What’s your issue?”
Jax shakes his head and before anyone could respond.
“LEEEERRRRRROOOOOOYYYYY JJJJEEEEEENNNNNKKKKIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS!!” Jax takes off down the first corridor he sees.
“Jax what are you doing?!” Betsy screams as Jax blows past her through the cave, “Dammit!”
Betsy takes off behind him, the rest of the group lowering their heads and sighing collectively.
“Shall we?” Raven asks the remaining party members, while holding his hand out.
“Man I hate going right….” Shawn says while kicking a rock and following behind Betsy and Jax. Sloane skips behind leaving SEB and Raven at the entrance.
“You coming?” Raven asks while raising an eyebrow.
“I think someone should stay behind and watch the entrance.” SEB astutely responds. “This way you guys don’t have to worry about anything coming up from behind.”
“Heh…. coming from behind.” Raven chuckles to himself. “Fine, stay here, but if anything comes, you head down to the rest of us.”
“Yeah yeah. Go.” SEB waves the back of his hands towards Raven. As Raven turns around SEB pulls out a small object and takes a drink from the concealed flask. “God save the Queen.”
Raven disappears down the hallway, and when he finally meets up with the rest of the group, Betsy is standing in the middle of a large room holding the severed head of a Goblin. Jax’s face is covered in blood as Shawn and Sloane stand off to the side.
“What... happened here?” Raven asks while looking around.
“Well….” Betsy begins to answer but is quickly cut off by Shawn.
“Betsy and Jax were in mortal danger as Sloane and I walked in. So I went on one of my awesome killing sprees.” Shawn pantomimes some shoddy fighting technique. “And next thing you know…. boom these WEATHER Goblins were done for.”
“Shawn! That’s not what happened!” Sloane pipes up, “We followed them down, and when we got here Shawn jumped behind me, and we watched as Betsy swiftly took down the two goblins.”
“Quicker than a Lil Petey climax,” Betsy affirms.
“I like my way better.” Shawn says with a dour expression on his face.
There’s suddenly a loud sound from where the group first started their journey.
“SEB!” Raven immediately turns and bolts back to the beginning room, as the rest of the group follows suit, returning to SEB and finding him in quite the predicament.
“Listen…. we can talk!” SEB pleads with the two overgrown skeleton monsters. Seb glances over his shoulder as the group bursts in. “Bout time ya wankers!”
Shawn and Raven leap into action, as Sloane and Betsy drag Seb to safety. Jax hangs back and wipes the blood off of his face.
“Okay, go for the knees.” Raven instructs Shawn.
“Yeah Raven, I’m aware!” In a mocking tone, Shawn responds.
“I’m just trying to help!” Raven bashes the monster just below the knee, but it doesn’t budge the being.
“Ha, aim lower jackass, like this.” Shawn raises the makeshift club high above his head and swings with all his might. The club shatters instantly upon meeting the knee. “Ohhhh fuck!”
Shawn and Raven slowly back pedal and are quickly cornered.
“This is your fault for leaving Seb here alone!” Shawn exclaims.
“He made a joke, and it caught me off guard!”
“Well what’s your plan now pretty boy?”
Raven frantically looks around the room, and finds nothing.
“Accept our fate…” Raven shrugs. “Wait….. Shawn, shrug! Use your powerful indifference! Shrug dammit!”[/b]
“Why?” Shawn shrugs towards Raven causing Raven to stop in his tracks.
“Not at me you moron! At them!”
“Oh…”
Shawn turns to face the skeletons and with a quick shrug both beasts stop, and tilt their heads towards the duo.
**SPLAAAAAAAAT**
One of the beast's heads falls helplessly towards the ground, the other looks on in horror and runs away out of the cave. Betsy wipes the blood off of her sword and hands it to Shawn.
“Didn’t know skeletons could have blood but here we are. Take this, I won’t need it.” Shawn sheathes the sword as Betsy was once again the hero.
“Thanks Bets.” Shawn smirks, “But, like, I kinda did all the heavy lifting.”
“Shut up, Shawn,” Jax says while tossing a now crimson rag towards Shawn. “But just like normal ole Warstein, you couldn’t finish. That’s why she won the rumble, and why she….”
“Not the time Jax.” Raven interjects. “So we know where that leads, shall we try the next one and this time we all stay together?”
The entire group turns towards Jax who slumps his shoulders.
“Fine.”
The five brave warriors see off in the distance the monument looming over the deep cavern. A smallish opening is blocking their path.
“Okay, so I’m thinking we are going to go one at a time.” Betsy says as she crouches down next to the hole. “SEB and Sloane go first, then myself and then you two.”
With Betsy firmly taking control, SEB, Sloane and herself all make it through unimpeded.
“Brains before beauty.” Shawn says while shoving Raven aside. Raven quickly grabs Shawn by the ankle and drags him out.
“I’ve got both….” Raven gives Shawn a quick kick to the shin, “And the abs.”
Raven begins to crawl, but much like Shawn, he is grabbed and brought back into the room.
“Yeah…. well I’ve got two titles!”
“I will too!”
“Why are we fighting?”
“I don’t know!”
Raven playfully shoves Shawn, who trips and stumbles over a rock on the ground. He uses the wall to stop himself from falling.
“That was a close one.” Suddenly Shawn’s hand begins to depress into the wall. Raven and Shawn stare at each other.
“That can’t be good?” Raven said while pulling Shawn away from the wall.
“Ya Think!?!”
**CLINK…. CLANG…. BANG… CLINK**
“Oh Jesus Christ.” Raven leaps towards the hole only to find that it’s been blocked by a large rock, separating Legacy from the rest of the group.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck….” Shawn slams his fist on the rock floor. “Without Betsy we are fucked aren’t we?”
“Not totally.” Raven stands up and dusts himself off. “Since we are separated, there has to be something we have to do before that opening can be accessed again…..”
No sooner than Raven speaks, both men hear steps approaching them. Quiet at first but growing with every second. Raven and Shawn stand at the ready to fight when they are met by two humans. Unassuming and incapable of putting up much of a fight.
“Is that...?” Shawn asks while pointing towards the duo before them.
“I think so, yeah.” Raven assures.
“So we’re going to kill them right?”
“For sure.”
Raven and Shawn rush towards the men. They are woefully under equipped for the battle. Raven knocks out the first man, and finishes him off with a gory stomp to the temple. Shawn notices that while Raven was occupied with him the other had taken a flanking position.
Shawn shoves Raven out of the way, and throws a mighty blow to the groin of the man. He is met with no reaction.
“Oh shit….. they’re dickless!” Shawn worries as the man attempts to grab him, but fails. “Oh fuck no.” Shawn throws an elbow to the side of his head. Then another, then another. Shawn reaches back once more, but his arm is grabbed by Raven.
“Stop. He might have information.” He pleads with Warstein.
“So you get to kill Yung Sauce, but I have to let Petey live?” Shawn slumps his shoulders.
“Could you just….”
Shawn grabs Lil Petey by the head and quickly snaps his neck.
“Oops.” Shawn brushes off his hands. “Now let’s figure out this rock thing.”
“Maybe HE KNEW!” Raven is beside himself.
“Or not. Remember Big Drip was STUCK in here too! When was the last time they knew ANYTHING!?!” Shawn bellows back towards his partner.
“That was different. He attacked me first.”
“No. They were both casually lumbering towards us, and we attacked.” Shawn points to the bloody pool at Raven’s feet. “But let’s not worry about that. Where there’s an off switch….”
“There’s an on.”
Within no time at all Raven locates a lever up on the wall.
“Hey, get over here, I think I found the way out.”
“Bet.” Shawn runs up and stares at the lever. “Well how are we going to get it?”
The lever is easily twenty feet in the air, where even if they were on one another’s shoulders they wouldn’t reach.
“A running boost and leap?”
“Yeah that might work. Who's the bottom?”
(SEB from outside the game: HA!)
(Sloane from outside the game: SEB!)
The two have a quick game of Rock, Paper Scissors. Which Raven promptly wins.
“Stop throwing rock!” Raven suggests mightily towards Warstein.
“Never.” Shawn responds while taking up a strong base under the lever “Just run, I throw you up and-”
“You better fucking catch me!” Pointing right at Warstein “I mean it no, fucking around!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” With the most flippant tone imaginable. “Just go.”
Raven runs at Warstein, placing his foot right into the cupped hands and is thrust upwards. Reaching his hands up as high as he could, and wrapping his fingers around the lever. His weight causes the lever to come down as he hangs there for a second.
“You gonna catch me?”
“Yeah hold on a second, I got something in my eye.”
Raven rolls his eyes, but as he does so the lever begins to splinter. Before he could call out to Shawn he begins to fall towards the ground at a high rate of speed.
Warstein looks up when he hears the noise.
“Oh fuck me.”
Raven falls right on top of Shawn, who is visibly out of breath and grasping at his sides as Raven pulls him to his feet.
“Thanks.” He slaps Warstein on the shoulder and a smile beams from ear to ear.
“Don’t mention it.” A quick wince of pain as Shawn rolls his shoulders. “So did the door open?”
”Uhhhhhhhhh…” James murmurs, his voice trailing off slightly, “Yeah…”
Ravens eyes lock onto the now opened door as razor sharp talons grip the stone frame. A burst of flames shoots out of the darkness, announcing the arrival of the scaly monster before Legacy can see it. There’s no confusion in what’s coming next, until suddenly a second set of talons grips the door frame. James and Shawn look at each other, each bracing for battle as suddenly two long and slender dragons whip through and into the cavern around the two men. They land in the dirt, hissing and blowing flames into the sky… but… there’s something off putting about them.
“Sam Steele?” Raven whispers.
“Maxwell Shaw? Shawn mutters.
“It’s MICHAEL Shaw.” Raven corrects.
Shawn doesn’t care. He’s too focused on the fact that the human faces of the Dragon Slayers tag team are on the heads of these fire breathing dragons.
“Noah!” Shawn screams, “The Dragon Slayers as actual dragons?! That’s just lazy writing.”
“Lazy writing is actually pretty fitting for a team like the Dragon Slayers, Shawn,” Raven muses, “It’s not like they bring a lot to the table. WE had to ask Project: Honor to put the title belts on the line. The company has no faith in them, and they don’t have the balls to speak up for themselves. They literally signed with this company because of a tweet offering teams to come in and challenge us… AND THEY LET THEMSELVES BE BOOKED AGAINST THE DIP SHITS AND RIFF RAFF! HA! This company needed you, you fuckin’ dummies! You played ya’selves!”
Shawn seems a little bit confused by what’s happening here right now.
“This is all very interesting, James, but do you think maybe we should just kill them and finish the game?”
“Nah, they aren’t gonna do a damned thing,” Raven scoffs loudly in the general direction of the disturbing man-faced dragons, “Besides, it occurred to me that someone like Indy Darling would watch this and whine about how we didn’t talk enough about the company or whatever, so why not vamp a little.”
“Or Rock Johnson.”
The duo glance at each other and burst out into hysterical laughter. They both knew Rock Johnson wasn’t watching these promo videos. James turns his attention back to Michael Shaw and Sam Steele, or their lizard-like facsimiles.
“The fact that you guys are actually going to try and kill us, EVEN IN A MADE UP FANTASY WORLD THAT SHAWN’S SON CREATED, is pretty ridiculous,” Raven continues to rant, “You should be thanking us! We gave you guys the opportunities of your careers because we were just plain bored! You wouldn’t see this sort of headline spot without us! You’d be so far from the belts they may as well have a restraining order on you! WE opened this door, and you want to come through it and breathe fire AT US?!”
”Yeah, fuck you!” Shawn shouts supportively, kicking a rock off the ground that hits the Sam Steele dragon and bounces away harmlessly. The dragon does nothing. “That’s what I thought, punk! That’s why you lost to Big Drip! That’s why management wants to lose your phone number!”
“You’re a cheap carbon copy of a team we’ve seen a thousand times, a filler, a stepping stone, glory seekers and gold hunters who’s eyes brought them to a place they didn’t have the stomach for!” James’ intensity builds to a feverish level, then suddenly dissipates to nothing, “Alright, that’s probably enough. I don’t think management can be upset about what percentage of our content was dedicated to them now. We just said more about these anonymous and soon-to-be forgotten fucks than anyone else could have expected. Likely more than anyone else has so far. You’ll be just like the vikings, just like the storm chasers and the star fuckers… teams that we didn’t just beat, but smashed to pieces and sent packing.”
“How do you think we’re supposed to kill the dragons?” Shawn wonders.
“I honestly don’t think it’s going to be that hard. Remember, Big Drip beat them,” Raven responds.
James takes a few slow and casual steps forward, realizing that the Dragon Slayer dragons aren’t really doing much as he approaches. Soon he’s side by side with the Michael Shaw dragon, and he plunges the blade of his sword directly into the dragon's throat and nearly beheads the damned thing. With a small puff of flame from the open wound, the dragon instantly bleeds out and collapses in the dirt. Raven turns to Shawn.
“Well. That was anticlimactic.” Shawn says, unimpressed.
“Yeah, actually more one sided than I even expected,” Raven agrees, “Wanna kill the other one?”
“Yeah, but Noah, I want to use my power. The super attack thing. If this is gonna end right here, we may as well make it as cool as we can,” Shawn commands.
Raven shakes his head nervously.
“I wouldn’t do that. We don’t need it. Just push the thing over and stomp it or something, don’t get crazy,” James cautions, “It gives you 0 defense!”
“Defense is for bitches. Maximum attack!”
NOAH JACKSON< THE DUNGEON MASTER, FROM OUT OF THE GAME:
Alright, but you rolled super low. You killed Sam Steele Dragon, but he got a claw up and with your lowered defense it got you through the heart. You’re dead, dad.
In the blink of an eye the second dragon is hacked apart and lifeless on the ground next to Michael Shaw dragon, or was it Maxwell Shaw dragon? Shawn turns to James, blinking and expressionless as a loose dragon talon juts from his chest.
“Holy shit, that move really does turn you into the Atlanta Falcons, 28-3 my man…” Raven whispers.
Shawn collapses to his knees, unable to form words but capable of thrusting a middle finger in James’ general direction. The Dragon Slayers are dead, but at what cost…
Legacy was too.
The dungeon fades away.
NOAH: With the Dragon Slayers dead, that concludes the game. Thank you all for playing, I hope you’ve enjoyed it.
Betsy, Sloane, and Seb all clap enthusiastically as Shawn looks around the table, red-faced and panting.
SHAWN: Hold on, what?! That’s the end of the game? James and I get lost, I get killed by a toenail, and it’s done?!
Betsy is quick to come to Noah’s defense.
BETSY: That’s all YOU saw, Shawn! You triggered a trap door, and that’s on you! Noah did a wonderful job leading SEB, Sloane and myself on a rich and fulfilling journey. There were dwarves and a pegasus, and plenty of wine for all.
SEB: It was actually pretty great. I was pleasantly surprised.
SLOANE: You got killed by a toenail? Yikes.
Shawn lets out an angry roar, wiping his arm over the table and knocking all the pieces and character cards to the floor. Betsy stands up to say something but James puts a hand on her arm and shakes his head. SEB and Sloane watch as Shawn throws his hands in the air helplessly and storms out of the room.
SEB: I’ve never seen someone rage quit Dungeons and Dragons.
[b[RAVEN:[/b] John Strader has probably done it.
SLOANE: Shawn gets mad when he loses sometimes. He broke all of my monopoly hotels when he went bankrupt once.
BETSY: All of them?! How?
SLOANE: It took a really long time.
The group sits uncomfortably around the table for a minute before Noah begins picking the pieces up off of the floor and Betsy and Sloane kneel down to help him.
SLOANE: It was really great Noah. I had fun!
BETSY: You can write my campaigns anytime, sweetie.
NOAH: Really?! Hey James, I think your girl wants to hook up with me!
James rolls his eyes and sighs. SEB leans over to him.
SEB: I’ve heard some of the talk around the water coolers, James… about you and Shawn splitting up? I assume it’s just lazy gossip, but hey, maybe he catches Sam Steele’s toenail to the heart on Proving Ground, right?
James says nothing, but turns to study SEB carefully. He can’t tell if he’s kidding or not. Is there actually talk of that, beyond Project: Honor even?
RAVEN: If anything kills Shawn Warstein and end our tag run, it won’t be the Dragon Slayers or any of the other teams in the company.
NOAH: I dunno, those Commonwealth cunts seem pretty good.
RAVEN: That’s fair, but if anything gets Shawn it’ll be alcoholism, or-
SLOANE: His ex, or-
BETSY: A rematch with Elena Dedraca.
The group laughs loudly before turning in unison to see Shawn standing in the doorway, having come back to make up for his outburst.
SHAWN: Hey… FUCK you guys…
Dungeons and Dickheads. Just another day in the Legacy family.
FADE
TO
BLACK
TO
BLACK
[/b]