Post by Aiden Reynolds on May 31, 2021 19:50:21 GMT -5
Red hot chilli peppers.
Dickie Watson, the skinny, tattooed, scene kid who has become Aiden Reynolds best friend, brother, tag partner, and potential organ donor, stood in Aidens kitchen, his eyes darting back and forth across the black marble countertop. He tilted his head sideways looking across a set of bowls arranged on it. He looked over at Aiden, who had his nose in his phone taking a few pictures and sending them off with a chuckle.
“Aiden”
Nothing.
“Aiden…”
He hummed a small tune, Dickie sighed and shook his head.
“OI FUCKFACE”
“What?..what? I was listening!”
Dickie just deadpanned him and sighed, he looked up, noticing a crudely made banner hanging up across Aidens kitchen cupboards. “Aidens review youtube show thing”. It’s written in what appears to be crayon, Dickie mouths “what the fuck” and looks back over at his friend who clears his throat and moves across to the bench standing in front of it.
“What, what the fuck is all this? And how is K-”
“Ututututut...camera’s on mate.”
Dickie spun around on his heels, his black converse making a squeaking noise. He sits in closer studying Aidens laptop and camera setup. He actually spent a little bit of time on...no wait...it’s an older iPhone gaffer taped to three broom handles with a sync cable hooked into an old asus.
“So, legit what are you doing?”
Aiden just smiled and shook his head.
“Well, like everyone has their own show now right? Fucking Elite 7, The F word, Big drippy penis STD variety hour…”
“Eww”
“My point is if those fuckers have their own shows then so can I, I’m good looking, I’m charismatic and with production values like these it’ll be a hit.”
He motioned towards the banner. Dickie stayed silent as to not offend his friend.
“What kind of show?”
Aiden smiled and pointed to his forehead before motioning back down towards the bowls filled with different chillis.
“I’m gonna do like, review reaction challenges.”
“...ok?”
“So I’ll eat all these and tell people what I think while they see my reactions.”
“But...why chilli-.....oh...your opponent.”
Aiden just nodded again, as if pleased Dickie “got it”.
“Man, what’s that super red one cut up there? Looks spicy”
“Nah mate, that’s a palate cleanser. It’s just red capsicum…”
“A what?”
Aiden sighed and turned opening his fridge pulling out a whole one, Dickie let out a noise of realisation and gave a smile.
“Oh a bell pepper”
“....a fuckin what?”
“A bell pep-..nevermind.”
“Uh would you mind?”
Aiden motioned sideways, Dickie looked at the camera, back to Aiden and then slowly stepped to the side.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Aiden Reynolds, australian, youtube reaction review spectacular extravaganza thing.”
Dickie swallowed hard and tried to keep his laughter buried, Aiden looked out sideways and then back to the camera.
“Today I’m going to be trying various chillis from around the world while also cutting a promo on my opponent for this week, Serrano Pablano. With his epic goatee”
“He looks like the physical manifestation of an STD you’d get from a two dollar thai hooker at 3am in bangkok…”
“DICKIE!....I am trying to be cordial!”
Aiden threw his hands in the air and sighed heavily.
“And it’d more likely be Pattaya mate...those girls are fuckin crazy, there was this one girl, she’d get walnuts and…”
He paused, looked at the camera and cleared his throat.
“Anyway!...first chilli…”
Aiden picks up a Jalapeno popping it in his mouth.
“So, I’m sure alot of you are wondering about my feelings and thoughts when it comes to not being in the X Factor tournament final. Well, I can tell you all without a doubt that there is no shame in fighting a guy like James Raven and getting your ass kicked. And to be honest I thought that it would be myself and Myo in the finals. One on one again. For that title. But, to my surprise. It’s James and Lance. And good luck to both of em. I’ll do what I always do, and pick myself back up and come back stronger. See, I don’t need things handed to me like others have, I don’t need to sit back and watch people who, well, aren’t as good as me become champion…”
“Lookin at you Marky Mark…”
“And my first challenge back is Serrano…”
“Oh speakin of which…”
Aiden moves to the second bowl, picking up a Serrano chilli biting it right off the stem. He looks at it and shrugs.
“Kinda disappointing to be honest, only slightly hotter than the Jalapeno. But less flavour, kinda bland actually.”
“Man how are you doing this? Jalapenos are hot”
Aiden just looked over at Dickie, blinking a few times
“Maybe if you’re recovering from surgery mate. But nah, not to my liking. But, back to my opponent. Thing is, it’s not even that I don’t like the guy, he has a certain, charm about him, the way he talks and his delivery as far as promos go, the bloke has some personality. I like that, it’s a step up from that walking void and charisma vacuum holding the grand championship.”
Aiden looked to the next bowl, he picked up an orange habanero. He looked over at Dickie who slowly shook his head. Aiden smirked and popped it in his mouth, he coughed and shook his head.
“Alright, that one had some fuckin kick. Not as much kick as I do, look Serrano, buddy, as I said, I like ya. But lets face it. You’re six feet tall, 320 pounds and haven’t had the best of starts. I mean shit mate, you lost your debut. And you only get one chance to make a first impression.”
Aiden nodded to himself picking up a Ghost pepper.
“That looks like a dried devils penis…”
Aiden looked over at Dickie slowly holding the pepper in his hand. He looked down at it and then back up shaking his head.
“I mean...it’s so small it could be smuggled in Mark Hunters tights.”
There was a pause. Dickie started to shake backing away and turning placing his face in one of Aidens cushions before laughter is heard, but it’s muffled. Aiden just smiled and looked back at the camera eating the ghost pepper. His face turning red, his eyes watering. Instant regret.
“I’m sure, you’ll...ya know….oh fuck...do your best mate. And that’s all we can hope for in the world yeah? You get in the ring, bring your best and I’ll do the….do the same..”
Aiden reaches over chugging an entire three gallon water bottle. He sighs heavily and looks at the last bowl. Carolina Reapers. He shakes his head and paces back and forth. Dickie smiled and waited. Aiden picked up up and studied it.
“...Fuckin shit…”
“You don’t have to do it bruh...seriously...no one will blame you for pussying out…”
He narrowed his eyes at Dickie, keeping eye contact as he placed the entire chilli in his mouth and started to chew. Aiden coughed, he sputtered and shook his head again, snot bubbles started to form, his eyes watered, sweat poured from his face. Aiden breathed deep but looked to be in physical pain.
“Are you….are you ok?. You don’t look so good Aiden…”
“I….you...this…” He sputtered again, he held his stomach. “Fuck, i needa piss...too much water.”
Aiden turned and took off down the hallway, he entered the tardis and slammed the door. After a few moments there was a squeal.
“AIDEN?..BRO YOU OK?”
“I….I TOUCHED MY PENIS”
“I mean....that happens and I...wait...WAIT….WAAAAAAIIIITTT BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Dickie started to laugh, the realisation hitting him as more squealing was heard. Dickie put his hands on the kitchen bench and couldn’t breathe through the laughter.
“TURN THE FUCKIN CAMERA OFF……”
Dickie Watson, the skinny, tattooed, scene kid who has become Aiden Reynolds best friend, brother, tag partner, and potential organ donor, stood in Aidens kitchen, his eyes darting back and forth across the black marble countertop. He tilted his head sideways looking across a set of bowls arranged on it. He looked over at Aiden, who had his nose in his phone taking a few pictures and sending them off with a chuckle.
“Aiden”
Nothing.
“Aiden…”
He hummed a small tune, Dickie sighed and shook his head.
“OI FUCKFACE”
“What?..what? I was listening!”
Dickie just deadpanned him and sighed, he looked up, noticing a crudely made banner hanging up across Aidens kitchen cupboards. “Aidens review youtube show thing”. It’s written in what appears to be crayon, Dickie mouths “what the fuck” and looks back over at his friend who clears his throat and moves across to the bench standing in front of it.
“What, what the fuck is all this? And how is K-”
“Ututututut...camera’s on mate.”
Dickie spun around on his heels, his black converse making a squeaking noise. He sits in closer studying Aidens laptop and camera setup. He actually spent a little bit of time on...no wait...it’s an older iPhone gaffer taped to three broom handles with a sync cable hooked into an old asus.
“So, legit what are you doing?”
Aiden just smiled and shook his head.
“Well, like everyone has their own show now right? Fucking Elite 7, The F word, Big drippy penis STD variety hour…”
“Eww”
“My point is if those fuckers have their own shows then so can I, I’m good looking, I’m charismatic and with production values like these it’ll be a hit.”
He motioned towards the banner. Dickie stayed silent as to not offend his friend.
“What kind of show?”
Aiden smiled and pointed to his forehead before motioning back down towards the bowls filled with different chillis.
“I’m gonna do like, review reaction challenges.”
“...ok?”
“So I’ll eat all these and tell people what I think while they see my reactions.”
“But...why chilli-.....oh...your opponent.”
Aiden just nodded again, as if pleased Dickie “got it”.
“Man, what’s that super red one cut up there? Looks spicy”
“Nah mate, that’s a palate cleanser. It’s just red capsicum…”
“A what?”
Aiden sighed and turned opening his fridge pulling out a whole one, Dickie let out a noise of realisation and gave a smile.
“Oh a bell pepper”
“....a fuckin what?”
“A bell pep-..nevermind.”
“Uh would you mind?”
Aiden motioned sideways, Dickie looked at the camera, back to Aiden and then slowly stepped to the side.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Aiden Reynolds, australian, youtube reaction review spectacular extravaganza thing.”
Dickie swallowed hard and tried to keep his laughter buried, Aiden looked out sideways and then back to the camera.
“Today I’m going to be trying various chillis from around the world while also cutting a promo on my opponent for this week, Serrano Pablano. With his epic goatee”
“He looks like the physical manifestation of an STD you’d get from a two dollar thai hooker at 3am in bangkok…”
“DICKIE!....I am trying to be cordial!”
Aiden threw his hands in the air and sighed heavily.
“And it’d more likely be Pattaya mate...those girls are fuckin crazy, there was this one girl, she’d get walnuts and…”
He paused, looked at the camera and cleared his throat.
“Anyway!...first chilli…”
Aiden picks up a Jalapeno popping it in his mouth.
“So, I’m sure alot of you are wondering about my feelings and thoughts when it comes to not being in the X Factor tournament final. Well, I can tell you all without a doubt that there is no shame in fighting a guy like James Raven and getting your ass kicked. And to be honest I thought that it would be myself and Myo in the finals. One on one again. For that title. But, to my surprise. It’s James and Lance. And good luck to both of em. I’ll do what I always do, and pick myself back up and come back stronger. See, I don’t need things handed to me like others have, I don’t need to sit back and watch people who, well, aren’t as good as me become champion…”
“Lookin at you Marky Mark…”
“And my first challenge back is Serrano…”
“Oh speakin of which…”
Aiden moves to the second bowl, picking up a Serrano chilli biting it right off the stem. He looks at it and shrugs.
“Kinda disappointing to be honest, only slightly hotter than the Jalapeno. But less flavour, kinda bland actually.”
“Man how are you doing this? Jalapenos are hot”
Aiden just looked over at Dickie, blinking a few times
“Maybe if you’re recovering from surgery mate. But nah, not to my liking. But, back to my opponent. Thing is, it’s not even that I don’t like the guy, he has a certain, charm about him, the way he talks and his delivery as far as promos go, the bloke has some personality. I like that, it’s a step up from that walking void and charisma vacuum holding the grand championship.”
Aiden looked to the next bowl, he picked up an orange habanero. He looked over at Dickie who slowly shook his head. Aiden smirked and popped it in his mouth, he coughed and shook his head.
“Alright, that one had some fuckin kick. Not as much kick as I do, look Serrano, buddy, as I said, I like ya. But lets face it. You’re six feet tall, 320 pounds and haven’t had the best of starts. I mean shit mate, you lost your debut. And you only get one chance to make a first impression.”
Aiden nodded to himself picking up a Ghost pepper.
“That looks like a dried devils penis…”
Aiden looked over at Dickie slowly holding the pepper in his hand. He looked down at it and then back up shaking his head.
“I mean...it’s so small it could be smuggled in Mark Hunters tights.”
There was a pause. Dickie started to shake backing away and turning placing his face in one of Aidens cushions before laughter is heard, but it’s muffled. Aiden just smiled and looked back at the camera eating the ghost pepper. His face turning red, his eyes watering. Instant regret.
“I’m sure, you’ll...ya know….oh fuck...do your best mate. And that’s all we can hope for in the world yeah? You get in the ring, bring your best and I’ll do the….do the same..”
Aiden reaches over chugging an entire three gallon water bottle. He sighs heavily and looks at the last bowl. Carolina Reapers. He shakes his head and paces back and forth. Dickie smiled and waited. Aiden picked up up and studied it.
“...Fuckin shit…”
“You don’t have to do it bruh...seriously...no one will blame you for pussying out…”
He narrowed his eyes at Dickie, keeping eye contact as he placed the entire chilli in his mouth and started to chew. Aiden coughed, he sputtered and shook his head again, snot bubbles started to form, his eyes watered, sweat poured from his face. Aiden breathed deep but looked to be in physical pain.
“Are you….are you ok?. You don’t look so good Aiden…”
“I….you...this…” He sputtered again, he held his stomach. “Fuck, i needa piss...too much water.”
Aiden turned and took off down the hallway, he entered the tardis and slammed the door. After a few moments there was a squeal.
“AIDEN?..BRO YOU OK?”
“I….I TOUCHED MY PENIS”
“I mean....that happens and I...wait...WAIT….WAAAAAAIIIITTT BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Dickie started to laugh, the realisation hitting him as more squealing was heard. Dickie put his hands on the kitchen bench and couldn’t breathe through the laughter.
“TURN THE FUCKIN CAMERA OFF……”
