Post by Dreamkiller on May 16, 2021 3:51:56 GMT -5
11. It felt good in the light
Crush
The light came into my life. A pale skinned golden haired angel with a cute smile and an adorable laugh. Her accent a mishmash of where she had been and what she’d been able to pick up. I’m not even sure why she and I got together. I should have hated her. I should have despised her very existence and presence.
She was after all..related to the vile thing that pulled me into heel and ruined me.
I admit some of it was lust. I had no idea what I was. Straight, Gay, Bisexual, A-sexual. Those words held little meaning to me. All I know is when I saw her, when she took care of me I wanted her. Every single part of me ached for her. Begged for it and needed it. This was also a mistake. A huge one.
I thought I’d be able to be happy again.
I thought I’d be able to forget my past and let it go.
But this relationship, however life affirming was going to do even more damage than the one with the dark angel and his followers. While I would never be physically abused by her my emotional state would break and crack. I’d let her in my walls and she would break everything inside them. Piece by piece. Brick by brick, she got inside my head and she brought it all down and burned it. And then played in the ashes.
I let it happen.
I could of stopped anytime, I could have pushed her away. I could of said no. I could have retreated back into my own personal hell. But the golden haired girl drew me in. And that mistake was one I regret….
Don't tell Me To Face it
Your wasted
The Love we Lost I Found in Someone new
The Invitation she leaves beneath my skin
To Feel that Body Rise and
Swallow me in her Abyss
And Now I've seen all your Ghosts
And Now I Fear I've lost my Soul
6 Years Ago
New York, New York
Her lips touched mine in the softest of ways, her hands drifted up and down my arms, her fingertips feeling like they were delivering a hundred electric shocks. It caused goosebumps all over. Her hand moved through my hair down my back drawing me close. We both laughed and giggled, we both smiled and gave each other soft looks of affection and what we thought was love.
Her bright blue eyes stared into my emerald green ones. We were almost opposites. Her long blonde hair in contrast to my jet black waves. Her pure pale skin looking different to my tattooed olive complexion. We would walk around hand in hand and people would look and stare. From confused looks of older generations, to the perverted smirks of random men to the smiles of happiness from others who understood love they all had their different gazes.
She and I were happy together. For a time.
I would sit at the kitchen table as she made dinner. I watched while she would hum a random song and do the most mundane things like cut up vegetables or made a smoothie. We enjoyed ourselves at home, just us. Until it was time to go to work. And what a time it was. With her by my side I was unstoppable. I won a championship that no one could take off me, I was simply the best of the best at that time.
She showed me love, she showed me compassion. She showed me how to be the best as she stood by my side. But after a while the same old doubts, the same pressures overcame us both. And then as we watched each other drift away we both knew the mistakes we made would form us into things we didn’t want to be.
But she was the harshest lesson, a lesson that I learned quick from. And our love definitely didn’t last….
12. The Omega to My Alpha
Build your thrones
It was a strange feeling, breaking up with the golden haired love. Watching her walk away with another person. A man. And it was even stranger when I felt nothing. I saw it coming. From the moment they met I just saw it and felt it.. So I shut down. I buried all the feelings for her that I had and rebuilt those walls. Then I met him….
His name was Jace. And it made me laugh that I would fall for a gypsy. See for years I had wondered what Amber had seen in her husband Renee. He was a large, hairy brut. He stood six foot eight and was a beast. It was easy to forget he was only 23, same age as my sister. It was even harder to remember Jace was only 20, a year younger than I when I met him.
The relationship I had with Jace was something different for me. It was not intense, it was not an ownership. It wasn’t filled with love and affection and rainbows, unicorns and puppy dogs. What we had was one of youth and learning. And of course there was in intensity. The sex was mind blowing. We would tear at each other any second we had that was private. But when it came to talking to one another, when it came to the part of a relationship that meant something we just didn’t care…
The emotions didn’t matter as much as being comfortable.
And I was very comfortable with Jace.
And the worst past is I also became comfortable with the gypsy way of life. I played the part, I let Jace answer for me, I let everyone believe that I belonged to him. And unlike Renee he never abused that right. He never “put me in my place”. But then again...there were other side effects...ones I wasn’t prepared for.
Don't you know?
Who the fuck I am or have a clue who I used to be?
I came to bring the pain and I don't owe you a fucking thing
Build your thrones
On broken bones
5 Years Ago
Gypsy Compound outside NYC
I breathed heavy as I moved around her. The little blonde thing was faster than I thought. She dodged in and out, she got inside my reach and hit a hard shot to my ribs. Her jab was like lightening, her footwork amazing. But I knew if I could get her with one good shot I’d take her out.
Crack, crack, crack,
Two jabs and a hard right hook, as I turned back to retaliate they called a round. I went back to the side of the barn that Jace stood, an unimpressed look on his handsome face. His long sandy blonde hair tied back up and high in a bun allowing me to get lost in those baby blues. His gruff voice breaking me out of the haze I found myself in “Lass wha tha fuck are ya doin” I laughed a moment and shook my head.
“I’m not really sure… she’s fast Jace, real fast.”
I looked over my shoulder at her. The whispy little thing. Couldn’t have been more than five foot tall and 90 pounds soaking wet. Her blonde hair reminding me so much of...her. Jace grabbed my face pulling it back to his. “Listen, are ya that blind ya dun even see she drops her right everytime she throws a left jab?...c’mon girl get out there…”
I gave Jace a nod and cracked my knuckles, her blood on the tape around my knuckles giving me another small laugh. We came out into the middle of the concrete floor, she went for her jab, her right hand dropped just as Jace said. I slipped it and slammed in a hard overhand right and she went down, out cold. The barn erupted, money changed hands, men laughed and drank. Jace grabbed me by the hips lifting me high in the air.
I never felt so alive.
Never fade away-The Character Assassination of Pixie Sloane
“You wanna know what separates me from most people?”
The voice of Kayla Richards breaks the darkness. Her British accent spitting with confidence and an arrogance that we have all come to expect from the Noble champion. A woman who always spits in the face of conventional thinking.
“I’m real.”
She pauses, letting us draw our own conclusions as to what she means.
“So many others put up a mask when they sit here and talk to you all. They put their best foot forward. It’s a means to not offend anyone or to make sure people like them. So many people in this world and in this business care too much what others have to say and think” She pauses again, this time her top lip lifting into a smirk. “I’m not burdened with that kind of inane bullshit. And over time, those masks that other people wear slowly fade away. And you’re left with the real person. The reality hits them and all of you. And what I’m so incredibly good at is seeing these changes and these masks fading away and throwing it in peoples faces. It gets under their skin and they make stupid mistakes.”
“This happened in that ladies night match. I held up a mirror to Alice Knight and it made her disappear. She said nothing leading up to that match and she faded in the match itself. I held a mirror up to Savannah Sunshine and turned her into Savannah fucking rainyday. And I pointed out the fact our Legacy champion is a cowardly piece of trash who hides from real contenders.”
“This is what I do. And I got under their skin and fucking dominated in that match. Only to have it taken away because of one person who, to be honest, is faker than my tits...and nowhere near as attractive.”
She trolls her eyes pausing for some sort of comedic effect. She clears her throat and folds her arms over her chest somewhat pushing up said fake tits.
“But, something else I do, that others don’t, is learn. I learn from losses, even ones that barely qualify as such. See, I got beaten by Jason Long, Maverick, Savannahs dildo, whatever the fuck you want to call the little irish prick. He was able to get a win over me that not only shocked me, but the entire wrestling world. Did I throw it all in? Did I look in the mirror and talk about how I was a loser? Or did I recognise where I went wrong, the fact he didn’t beat me and that I beat myself?”
“I came back, angry and frustrated. And I ended him, when the title was on the line and it was a big match feel he failed, and I succeeded. The bright lights were too much for mister Long. Because I looked at everything he said, everything he did, every single character flaw and contradiction and I exposed them for the world to see, it frustrated him, it made him vulnerable.”
“And I walked into that title defense, smiled and walked out as the fucking Noble champion. And this time? This time will be no different. Cause last time, at least Jason Long, as much as I hate him, beat me. He was the one who pinned me and was able to get his hand raised by beating me, not beating someone else in the match then claiming victory like a conquering hero.”
“And this will be the last time I give that moron any type of respect.”
Kayla feels her blood boil, but taking in a few deep breaths she calms herself back down to stay focused on the job and topic at hand.
“But, Pixie Sloane on the other hand is coming into this match with a huge shit eating grin on her face and an attitude she hasn’t earned. She beat Crash. Not me. She didn’t pin my shoulders to the mat or get me to submit. It’s a fact. Not me being arrogant, not me being in denial. It’s a fucking fact. Pixie Sloane did not pin Kayla Richards. Pixie Sloane did not make Kayla Richards submit. In fact, if that skinny little bitch even dreams she beat me she better wake up and apologize.”
Kayla growls and stands up, she paces back and forth dressed in her usual look of skinny black jeans, a black band shirt and a black leather jacket, she pulls the Noble title up from the table and looks at it before throwing it over her shoulder.
“Going into Disputed Territory Pixie is going to pop up and talk about how she won that triple threat, she’ll talk about beating me and leaving me laying in the table and will walk around with her head in the air because after winning a few matches and getting a shot at me she thinks she’s king shit. But this is a woman who coming into Project Honor lied to all of you. She took you for a ride and tried to get you all on her side. And I have proof. See, earlier I mentioned masks and how eventually you ee the real side of people. When Pixie came into this company she had this sob story about her past, talking about positivity yet being so negative about chasing her own dream.”
“She wanted you all to pity her, to get behind her and push her. Because she needs you people. I don’t, but while I don’t need any of you I’m not mean enough to lie to all your faces about what kind of person I am.”
“I’m a bitch.”
“I’m an arrogant, self righteous cunt who will do what it takes to win. I will lie, cheat and steal whatever I have to and take every single shortcut I can find and will tell each and every one of you to kiss my fucking clit.”
“But, I’m honest about it. Pixie? She’s fake. She’s a fraud and she has proved it through this entire fucking thing. She wasn’t meant to be in contendership for this title. She wasn’t meant to be against me. But, she weaseled her way in, then had the audacity before her match with Kagome to try and show sympathy to the woman she was about to screw out of her opportunity. Now, was Kagome the best choice to be facing me for the Noble title? Probably not, that’s true. But the fact Pixie would snatch up someone else's spot then act like she was concerned for the person she was doing it to? Are you fucking kidding?”
“Then look at Fallout. Pixie had her match with Kagome, I went out to do guest commentary. It was a match involving my title, I had a right to go out and add to it all. I sat there, with a headset on, I did nothing wrong. Pixie won the match, good for her. But then later in the night she showed HER true colors.”
Kayla purses her lips together with a small wink.
“She came out during my match just to mess with me, just to cost me a win I deserved and I earned. Seems like thats the kind of person Pixie is. But, she’s the good guy right? I’m the villain in her little story off loss and resurrection. I’m the “bad guy” in her little feminism bullshit. Yeah, that’s right, Pixie using the feminist angle as she took an opportunity at a championship, from a woman, and then is coming to take a title, from a woman. The matriarchy huh Pixie? I am the matriarchy. You? You just try and take everything from others.”
“You even tried to take my attitude going from the wannabe Dr Phil dissecting my apparent “daddy issues” to being someone who would threaten me. Like a child, with a type of physical harm that you can’t actually pull off. That’s why I stopped engaging with you in any way shape or form.”
“You throw empty threats out there, and not just empty ones. Pathetic ones. Hanging my entrails from a tree? Really? I called you out for changing your personality like most people change your underwear because that’s what you did you fake bitch.”
“And to wrap all this up, again. I’m real. You throw out cheap, empty threats.”
“I told Sara Cross I’d end her, she’s gone. I told Finale that he was living on borrowed time. He quit. I warned Martha Atlas I was going to make an example of her. And I broke her. I warned Jason Long that his mouth and stupidity were going to get him into trouble and the mistakes he made were just going to lead to my victory. And I beat him. So now you, you take opportunities from mothers, you fake the kind of person you are and change your attitude while throwing out idle threats. So, I’m warning you now. This...won’t end well for you Pixie.”
“But, you are right. I’m the villain of this story. Because I’m the villain in every story. But, you’re still not a hero. Heroes are supposed to be honest, hard working and people who stand up for what they believe in. You don’t believe in anything and choose to use hard hitting social issues as a hashtag to get people on your side because you have nothing else. And at Disputed Territory I’m going to expose you for the fake bitch you are…”
Crush
The light came into my life. A pale skinned golden haired angel with a cute smile and an adorable laugh. Her accent a mishmash of where she had been and what she’d been able to pick up. I’m not even sure why she and I got together. I should have hated her. I should have despised her very existence and presence.
She was after all..related to the vile thing that pulled me into heel and ruined me.
I admit some of it was lust. I had no idea what I was. Straight, Gay, Bisexual, A-sexual. Those words held little meaning to me. All I know is when I saw her, when she took care of me I wanted her. Every single part of me ached for her. Begged for it and needed it. This was also a mistake. A huge one.
I thought I’d be able to be happy again.
I thought I’d be able to forget my past and let it go.
But this relationship, however life affirming was going to do even more damage than the one with the dark angel and his followers. While I would never be physically abused by her my emotional state would break and crack. I’d let her in my walls and she would break everything inside them. Piece by piece. Brick by brick, she got inside my head and she brought it all down and burned it. And then played in the ashes.
I let it happen.
I could of stopped anytime, I could have pushed her away. I could of said no. I could have retreated back into my own personal hell. But the golden haired girl drew me in. And that mistake was one I regret….
Don't tell Me To Face it
Your wasted
The Love we Lost I Found in Someone new
The Invitation she leaves beneath my skin
To Feel that Body Rise and
Swallow me in her Abyss
And Now I've seen all your Ghosts
And Now I Fear I've lost my Soul
6 Years Ago
New York, New York
Her lips touched mine in the softest of ways, her hands drifted up and down my arms, her fingertips feeling like they were delivering a hundred electric shocks. It caused goosebumps all over. Her hand moved through my hair down my back drawing me close. We both laughed and giggled, we both smiled and gave each other soft looks of affection and what we thought was love.
Her bright blue eyes stared into my emerald green ones. We were almost opposites. Her long blonde hair in contrast to my jet black waves. Her pure pale skin looking different to my tattooed olive complexion. We would walk around hand in hand and people would look and stare. From confused looks of older generations, to the perverted smirks of random men to the smiles of happiness from others who understood love they all had their different gazes.
She and I were happy together. For a time.
I would sit at the kitchen table as she made dinner. I watched while she would hum a random song and do the most mundane things like cut up vegetables or made a smoothie. We enjoyed ourselves at home, just us. Until it was time to go to work. And what a time it was. With her by my side I was unstoppable. I won a championship that no one could take off me, I was simply the best of the best at that time.
She showed me love, she showed me compassion. She showed me how to be the best as she stood by my side. But after a while the same old doubts, the same pressures overcame us both. And then as we watched each other drift away we both knew the mistakes we made would form us into things we didn’t want to be.
But she was the harshest lesson, a lesson that I learned quick from. And our love definitely didn’t last….
12. The Omega to My Alpha
Build your thrones
It was a strange feeling, breaking up with the golden haired love. Watching her walk away with another person. A man. And it was even stranger when I felt nothing. I saw it coming. From the moment they met I just saw it and felt it.. So I shut down. I buried all the feelings for her that I had and rebuilt those walls. Then I met him….
His name was Jace. And it made me laugh that I would fall for a gypsy. See for years I had wondered what Amber had seen in her husband Renee. He was a large, hairy brut. He stood six foot eight and was a beast. It was easy to forget he was only 23, same age as my sister. It was even harder to remember Jace was only 20, a year younger than I when I met him.
The relationship I had with Jace was something different for me. It was not intense, it was not an ownership. It wasn’t filled with love and affection and rainbows, unicorns and puppy dogs. What we had was one of youth and learning. And of course there was in intensity. The sex was mind blowing. We would tear at each other any second we had that was private. But when it came to talking to one another, when it came to the part of a relationship that meant something we just didn’t care…
The emotions didn’t matter as much as being comfortable.
And I was very comfortable with Jace.
And the worst past is I also became comfortable with the gypsy way of life. I played the part, I let Jace answer for me, I let everyone believe that I belonged to him. And unlike Renee he never abused that right. He never “put me in my place”. But then again...there were other side effects...ones I wasn’t prepared for.
Don't you know?
Who the fuck I am or have a clue who I used to be?
I came to bring the pain and I don't owe you a fucking thing
Build your thrones
On broken bones
5 Years Ago
Gypsy Compound outside NYC
I breathed heavy as I moved around her. The little blonde thing was faster than I thought. She dodged in and out, she got inside my reach and hit a hard shot to my ribs. Her jab was like lightening, her footwork amazing. But I knew if I could get her with one good shot I’d take her out.
Crack, crack, crack,
Two jabs and a hard right hook, as I turned back to retaliate they called a round. I went back to the side of the barn that Jace stood, an unimpressed look on his handsome face. His long sandy blonde hair tied back up and high in a bun allowing me to get lost in those baby blues. His gruff voice breaking me out of the haze I found myself in “Lass wha tha fuck are ya doin” I laughed a moment and shook my head.
“I’m not really sure… she’s fast Jace, real fast.”
I looked over my shoulder at her. The whispy little thing. Couldn’t have been more than five foot tall and 90 pounds soaking wet. Her blonde hair reminding me so much of...her. Jace grabbed my face pulling it back to his. “Listen, are ya that blind ya dun even see she drops her right everytime she throws a left jab?...c’mon girl get out there…”
I gave Jace a nod and cracked my knuckles, her blood on the tape around my knuckles giving me another small laugh. We came out into the middle of the concrete floor, she went for her jab, her right hand dropped just as Jace said. I slipped it and slammed in a hard overhand right and she went down, out cold. The barn erupted, money changed hands, men laughed and drank. Jace grabbed me by the hips lifting me high in the air.
I never felt so alive.
Never fade away-The Character Assassination of Pixie Sloane
“You wanna know what separates me from most people?”
The voice of Kayla Richards breaks the darkness. Her British accent spitting with confidence and an arrogance that we have all come to expect from the Noble champion. A woman who always spits in the face of conventional thinking.
“I’m real.”
She pauses, letting us draw our own conclusions as to what she means.
“So many others put up a mask when they sit here and talk to you all. They put their best foot forward. It’s a means to not offend anyone or to make sure people like them. So many people in this world and in this business care too much what others have to say and think” She pauses again, this time her top lip lifting into a smirk. “I’m not burdened with that kind of inane bullshit. And over time, those masks that other people wear slowly fade away. And you’re left with the real person. The reality hits them and all of you. And what I’m so incredibly good at is seeing these changes and these masks fading away and throwing it in peoples faces. It gets under their skin and they make stupid mistakes.”
“This happened in that ladies night match. I held up a mirror to Alice Knight and it made her disappear. She said nothing leading up to that match and she faded in the match itself. I held a mirror up to Savannah Sunshine and turned her into Savannah fucking rainyday. And I pointed out the fact our Legacy champion is a cowardly piece of trash who hides from real contenders.”
“This is what I do. And I got under their skin and fucking dominated in that match. Only to have it taken away because of one person who, to be honest, is faker than my tits...and nowhere near as attractive.”
She trolls her eyes pausing for some sort of comedic effect. She clears her throat and folds her arms over her chest somewhat pushing up said fake tits.
“But, something else I do, that others don’t, is learn. I learn from losses, even ones that barely qualify as such. See, I got beaten by Jason Long, Maverick, Savannahs dildo, whatever the fuck you want to call the little irish prick. He was able to get a win over me that not only shocked me, but the entire wrestling world. Did I throw it all in? Did I look in the mirror and talk about how I was a loser? Or did I recognise where I went wrong, the fact he didn’t beat me and that I beat myself?”
“I came back, angry and frustrated. And I ended him, when the title was on the line and it was a big match feel he failed, and I succeeded. The bright lights were too much for mister Long. Because I looked at everything he said, everything he did, every single character flaw and contradiction and I exposed them for the world to see, it frustrated him, it made him vulnerable.”
“And I walked into that title defense, smiled and walked out as the fucking Noble champion. And this time? This time will be no different. Cause last time, at least Jason Long, as much as I hate him, beat me. He was the one who pinned me and was able to get his hand raised by beating me, not beating someone else in the match then claiming victory like a conquering hero.”
“And this will be the last time I give that moron any type of respect.”
Kayla feels her blood boil, but taking in a few deep breaths she calms herself back down to stay focused on the job and topic at hand.
“But, Pixie Sloane on the other hand is coming into this match with a huge shit eating grin on her face and an attitude she hasn’t earned. She beat Crash. Not me. She didn’t pin my shoulders to the mat or get me to submit. It’s a fact. Not me being arrogant, not me being in denial. It’s a fucking fact. Pixie Sloane did not pin Kayla Richards. Pixie Sloane did not make Kayla Richards submit. In fact, if that skinny little bitch even dreams she beat me she better wake up and apologize.”
Kayla growls and stands up, she paces back and forth dressed in her usual look of skinny black jeans, a black band shirt and a black leather jacket, she pulls the Noble title up from the table and looks at it before throwing it over her shoulder.
“Going into Disputed Territory Pixie is going to pop up and talk about how she won that triple threat, she’ll talk about beating me and leaving me laying in the table and will walk around with her head in the air because after winning a few matches and getting a shot at me she thinks she’s king shit. But this is a woman who coming into Project Honor lied to all of you. She took you for a ride and tried to get you all on her side. And I have proof. See, earlier I mentioned masks and how eventually you ee the real side of people. When Pixie came into this company she had this sob story about her past, talking about positivity yet being so negative about chasing her own dream.”
“She wanted you all to pity her, to get behind her and push her. Because she needs you people. I don’t, but while I don’t need any of you I’m not mean enough to lie to all your faces about what kind of person I am.”
“I’m a bitch.”
“I’m an arrogant, self righteous cunt who will do what it takes to win. I will lie, cheat and steal whatever I have to and take every single shortcut I can find and will tell each and every one of you to kiss my fucking clit.”
“But, I’m honest about it. Pixie? She’s fake. She’s a fraud and she has proved it through this entire fucking thing. She wasn’t meant to be in contendership for this title. She wasn’t meant to be against me. But, she weaseled her way in, then had the audacity before her match with Kagome to try and show sympathy to the woman she was about to screw out of her opportunity. Now, was Kagome the best choice to be facing me for the Noble title? Probably not, that’s true. But the fact Pixie would snatch up someone else's spot then act like she was concerned for the person she was doing it to? Are you fucking kidding?”
“Then look at Fallout. Pixie had her match with Kagome, I went out to do guest commentary. It was a match involving my title, I had a right to go out and add to it all. I sat there, with a headset on, I did nothing wrong. Pixie won the match, good for her. But then later in the night she showed HER true colors.”
Kayla purses her lips together with a small wink.
“She came out during my match just to mess with me, just to cost me a win I deserved and I earned. Seems like thats the kind of person Pixie is. But, she’s the good guy right? I’m the villain in her little story off loss and resurrection. I’m the “bad guy” in her little feminism bullshit. Yeah, that’s right, Pixie using the feminist angle as she took an opportunity at a championship, from a woman, and then is coming to take a title, from a woman. The matriarchy huh Pixie? I am the matriarchy. You? You just try and take everything from others.”
“You even tried to take my attitude going from the wannabe Dr Phil dissecting my apparent “daddy issues” to being someone who would threaten me. Like a child, with a type of physical harm that you can’t actually pull off. That’s why I stopped engaging with you in any way shape or form.”
“You throw empty threats out there, and not just empty ones. Pathetic ones. Hanging my entrails from a tree? Really? I called you out for changing your personality like most people change your underwear because that’s what you did you fake bitch.”
“And to wrap all this up, again. I’m real. You throw out cheap, empty threats.”
“I told Sara Cross I’d end her, she’s gone. I told Finale that he was living on borrowed time. He quit. I warned Martha Atlas I was going to make an example of her. And I broke her. I warned Jason Long that his mouth and stupidity were going to get him into trouble and the mistakes he made were just going to lead to my victory. And I beat him. So now you, you take opportunities from mothers, you fake the kind of person you are and change your attitude while throwing out idle threats. So, I’m warning you now. This...won’t end well for you Pixie.”
“But, you are right. I’m the villain of this story. Because I’m the villain in every story. But, you’re still not a hero. Heroes are supposed to be honest, hard working and people who stand up for what they believe in. You don’t believe in anything and choose to use hard hitting social issues as a hashtag to get people on your side because you have nothing else. And at Disputed Territory I’m going to expose you for the fake bitch you are…”