Post by PH RECORDS on Nov 29, 2020 17:56:11 GMT -5
We open on Jay Vaughan & Jonny C in a room, presumably backstage at an PH live event. Jonny C looks confused and bored.
Jonny C – Jay this is stupid why are we doing this? Look I've got the stuff, let's just go out to the ring!
Jay – Just trust me. This is what all the kids are doing now!
Jay stands up and holds a piece of paper with the words “Scene 1” quickly and crudely written in with Crayon, right up to the camera before sitting back down.
Jonny C – What the...
When Jay sits back down Jonny snatches the piece of paper and seeing what's written, facepalms.
Jonny C – We talked about this...
Jay – I know I know, it's pointless. This is a wrestling promo not some pretencious play. The people only care about the match, not some fake soap opera the wrestlers try and pass off as their “real lives”. It's off topic, irrelevant and makes those who use it look like amateurs.
But they're all still doing it.
Jonny C – So? Since when did we conform to the newest fads?
Jay – You know you're right. Why should we. We watch wrestlers come and go around here just as quick as promo fads come in and out of fashion. Yet we're still here and we're still on top.
Jonny C – I wonder why...
Jay and Jonny take a quick glance at each other with a sly smirk
Jay – TALENT
Jonny C – TALENT
Both men go to leave the room with a large box and a clipboard, but Jay waits for Jonny to leave and picks up the sheet of paper, uncrumples it and hurriedly scrawls on it before holding it up to camera to reveal “SCENE 2” where the 1 has been crossed out.
Jonny C – Really?
Jay – What?
We quickly go to black
We cut to the arena. And Jonny & Jay are in the ring, with their clipboard and large box.
Jay – Ladies and Gentlemen, save your tickets because they just tripled in value!
Jonny C – Quadrupled..
Jay – Quintupled even!
Jonny C – That's right! And no don't worry we won't be premiering some long.. irrelevant, poorly made “reality segment” about our lives!
Jay – Nor have we roped in family and hired friends to make us appear to have some sort of entourage for you all to “admire”
Jonny C – We're not going to do some sex tape for PH.com that some sweaty middle age man filmed in his basement
Jay – And we're DEFINITELY not going to do a rap.
Jonny C – Dear god no. There's nothing worse than someone trying to put on the “gangsta” persona.
Jay – Well... apart from some drunk trying to write a promo then taking his ball and going home.
Jonny C – Dude have some respect for the deceased...
Jay – We've been through that and he's not... Never mind.
Jay – Anyway. Before we kick off the fun, let's talk about the elephant in the room.
Jonny C – I know J.T Price's put on a few but come on man be cool...
Jay – Not that... I refer of course to me bring ROBBED of our opportunity to start our career in this federation with a resounding victory and I’m pretty sure it
Jay swings around to point at Jonny
Jay – YOUR FAULT
Jonny C – I take no responsibility for you getting pinned
Jay – I beat those little bitches from one side of the ring to the other, and at the last minute he cheats me out of my win! I'll have to start my record breaking attempt from scratch now!
Jonny C – But Jay, you hadn’t had a victory yet anyway?
Jay stops to think for a minute
Jay – Oh yeah! It's easy to forget sometimes when you're as good as us the only real measuring stick is...well... ourselves!
Jonny C – Too true! Especially when you look at Bramovich & that Fucking Caid…
Jay – Erm Jonny… It’s KinCaid
Jonny C – That’s what I said, that fucking Caid
Jay – Not quite the same is it?
Jonny C – Honestly mate, do you really have to do this? We’re out here in front of the maximum capacity the government will allow us, and you’re embarrassing me infront of all these people
Jay – There’s literally 8 people here
Jonny C – Isn’t that the same amount of people that was there when you’re mother conceived you?
Jay – We’re not doing that gig yet, that’s for later down the line after we’ve become tag team champions and then gone our separate ways!
Jonny C – FINE!
Jay – Exactly. I've watched Kincaid before. He was a nothing then but let's give him a big round of applause ladies and gentlemen because he's finally found another man like him and the two can live the rest of their days, sharing the mediocrity!
Jonny C – A civil partnership made in heaven! It's always nice when obscurity get's a little love in the room to brighten things up!
Jay and Jonny give a very fake looking applaud
Jay – I do worry about poor Ragna though.
Jonny C – Why because he's about to have his body building “career” cut short when we beat the beats out of him?
Jay – No it's worse than that. I'm worried his life commitment to Kincaid may end in tears
Jonny C – What you don't think they're a good fit?
Jay – Well no I do but let's face it. Out Kincaid's got a teeny bit of an ego problem and I'm worried he might not handle being in Ragna's shadow.
Jonny C – Well I suppose anyone who can be overshadowed by Charlie Schmidt
Jay – My point exactly! Oh well at least he won't have to worry about that at Proving Grounds because boys, both of you will get to stand in the ring with the future Tag Champs!
Jonny C – A career highlight... well until we beat your asses into the canvas as pin you for the 123!
Jonny C – But if it helps boys you won't be conscious.
Jay – I mean seriously is this the best Ed could come up with? At least give your champions some challenges, because between these two jokers and Myojin “Relevance isn't Necessary” I weep for some REAL competition!
Exactly, listen up the fun is coming, Jonny will later prepare a statement of truth and fact of how we didn’t actually lose, he says it’s a very compelling documentary so I am very intrigued to see it!
Jonny C – Jay this is stupid why are we doing this? Look I've got the stuff, let's just go out to the ring!
Jay – Just trust me. This is what all the kids are doing now!
Jay stands up and holds a piece of paper with the words “Scene 1” quickly and crudely written in with Crayon, right up to the camera before sitting back down.
Jonny C – What the...
When Jay sits back down Jonny snatches the piece of paper and seeing what's written, facepalms.
Jonny C – We talked about this...
Jay – I know I know, it's pointless. This is a wrestling promo not some pretencious play. The people only care about the match, not some fake soap opera the wrestlers try and pass off as their “real lives”. It's off topic, irrelevant and makes those who use it look like amateurs.
But they're all still doing it.
Jonny C – So? Since when did we conform to the newest fads?
Jay – You know you're right. Why should we. We watch wrestlers come and go around here just as quick as promo fads come in and out of fashion. Yet we're still here and we're still on top.
Jonny C – I wonder why...
Jay and Jonny take a quick glance at each other with a sly smirk
Jay – TALENT
Jonny C – TALENT
Both men go to leave the room with a large box and a clipboard, but Jay waits for Jonny to leave and picks up the sheet of paper, uncrumples it and hurriedly scrawls on it before holding it up to camera to reveal “SCENE 2” where the 1 has been crossed out.
Jonny C – Really?
Jay – What?
We quickly go to black
We cut to the arena. And Jonny & Jay are in the ring, with their clipboard and large box.
Jay – Ladies and Gentlemen, save your tickets because they just tripled in value!
Jonny C – Quadrupled..
Jay – Quintupled even!
Jonny C – That's right! And no don't worry we won't be premiering some long.. irrelevant, poorly made “reality segment” about our lives!
Jay – Nor have we roped in family and hired friends to make us appear to have some sort of entourage for you all to “admire”
Jonny C – We're not going to do some sex tape for PH.com that some sweaty middle age man filmed in his basement
Jay – And we're DEFINITELY not going to do a rap.
Jonny C – Dear god no. There's nothing worse than someone trying to put on the “gangsta” persona.
Jay – Well... apart from some drunk trying to write a promo then taking his ball and going home.
Jonny C – Dude have some respect for the deceased...
Jay – We've been through that and he's not... Never mind.
Jay – Anyway. Before we kick off the fun, let's talk about the elephant in the room.
Jonny C – I know J.T Price's put on a few but come on man be cool...
Jay – Not that... I refer of course to me bring ROBBED of our opportunity to start our career in this federation with a resounding victory and I’m pretty sure it
Jay swings around to point at Jonny
Jay – YOUR FAULT
Jonny C – I take no responsibility for you getting pinned
Jay – I beat those little bitches from one side of the ring to the other, and at the last minute he cheats me out of my win! I'll have to start my record breaking attempt from scratch now!
Jonny C – But Jay, you hadn’t had a victory yet anyway?
Jay stops to think for a minute
Jay – Oh yeah! It's easy to forget sometimes when you're as good as us the only real measuring stick is...well... ourselves!
Jonny C – Too true! Especially when you look at Bramovich & that Fucking Caid…
Jay – Erm Jonny… It’s KinCaid
Jonny C – That’s what I said, that fucking Caid
Jay – Not quite the same is it?
Jonny C – Honestly mate, do you really have to do this? We’re out here in front of the maximum capacity the government will allow us, and you’re embarrassing me infront of all these people
Jay – There’s literally 8 people here
Jonny C – Isn’t that the same amount of people that was there when you’re mother conceived you?
Jay – We’re not doing that gig yet, that’s for later down the line after we’ve become tag team champions and then gone our separate ways!
Jonny C – FINE!
Jay – Exactly. I've watched Kincaid before. He was a nothing then but let's give him a big round of applause ladies and gentlemen because he's finally found another man like him and the two can live the rest of their days, sharing the mediocrity!
Jonny C – A civil partnership made in heaven! It's always nice when obscurity get's a little love in the room to brighten things up!
Jay and Jonny give a very fake looking applaud
Jay – I do worry about poor Ragna though.
Jonny C – Why because he's about to have his body building “career” cut short when we beat the beats out of him?
Jay – No it's worse than that. I'm worried his life commitment to Kincaid may end in tears
Jonny C – What you don't think they're a good fit?
Jay – Well no I do but let's face it. Out Kincaid's got a teeny bit of an ego problem and I'm worried he might not handle being in Ragna's shadow.
Jonny C – Well I suppose anyone who can be overshadowed by Charlie Schmidt
Jay – My point exactly! Oh well at least he won't have to worry about that at Proving Grounds because boys, both of you will get to stand in the ring with the future Tag Champs!
Jonny C – A career highlight... well until we beat your asses into the canvas as pin you for the 123!
Jonny C – But if it helps boys you won't be conscious.
Jay – I mean seriously is this the best Ed could come up with? At least give your champions some challenges, because between these two jokers and Myojin “Relevance isn't Necessary” I weep for some REAL competition!
Exactly, listen up the fun is coming, Jonny will later prepare a statement of truth and fact of how we didn’t actually lose, he says it’s a very compelling documentary so I am very intrigued to see it!