Post by dragonladyelena on Jan 24, 2021 6:08:02 GMT -5
Where Home Is
(Off- Camera)
The crunch of the tightly packed snow filled my ears as I trudged up the hill. Each breath that came out of my mouth was visible as it fogged in the icy air. My teeth are chattering as I focused using every muscle I had to draw a toboggan up that steep hill covered in a white powder that felt much colder than the air I had gotten used to in Baltimore.
At the top of this snow covered hill, Mameha stood comfortably beside a blazing hot bonfire she had set up for the two of us, knowing how agonizing today’s training would be. It was unnerving sometimes, how she smiled and remained so warm and pleasant no matter the situation. Motherly, even when she was preparing to break me down all over again. She had built the fire knowing the warmth I would need by the end of this. Just like I knew, I'd only get through this the same as everything else: pushing myself to my limits, then beyond.
The time away from the ring was much needed. I had gotten time to clear my head after making a life-changing decision. After winning a belt and becoming a champion. After deciding it was best to hand the belt in and move onto bigger and greater goals.
I caught myself digging a foot deeper into the snow then almost tumbling down the steep hill as I nearly lost my balance, the toboggan with its precious cargo of more wood for the fire almost spilling as well. Mameha's shadow was almost close enough to touch. No way will I go down when I am so close to that burning fire that promised to warm the cold that had dug beneath the huge snow jacket I wear.
As I just stood there, trying to keep my balance and keep ahold of the sled, Mameha said down to me, "Warriors are versatile people. They change the way they think. The way they move at precisely the right moment. Though used to cold, you aren't used to a cold like this. The fire is waiting for you. What will you do, Pearl?"
At her words, I grunted loudly and grabbed the rope I held that was tied to the toboggan more firmly. And I pushed. Even with the time away from the ring, Mameha hadn't let me slack off in the slightest as we kept up a good workout routine going from the moment I decided Project Honor was the way for me to go. Not to mention, I am sure The Raven was getting plenty of a workout from me as I was him, everytime we were able to get our hands on each other alone.
Project Honor offered many appealing things. On a more personal level, I am just glad the company is a traveling one. Meant it would be harder for my dad to find me. It had been nerve racking having to go back to San Francisco to shoot a segment for Project Honors last show. My hometown. I won't lie, my feelings are slightly hurt because I had to endure this pain deep within me to shoot a segment that didn't even air. My dad had been so close, I truly hoped he wouldn't figure out I had been there even if just briefly. I have no clue if he made good on his threat of going to Baltimore in search of me either. All I know is at this particular time, he should be far, far away. And at least I could find solace in that.
With the last few feet ahead of me, I find it in me to get to the top of the hill, dragging that toboggan with me until the hill turned into flat ground. I dropped then, next to the bonfire and rolled on my back with my arms stretched wide and my legs stretched out, feeling the hot embers from the bonfire begin to soothe my tired and out of breath body.
The sun is bright in my eyes but offered extra warmth as Mameha plopped down next to me on her back. She reached over and took the hand closest to her and squeezed as she too bathed under the dim morning sun Canada had to offer us. "You did it." We stayed quiet a moment as my breathing slowly went to normal.
And then she cut the silence, "I am so sorry, Pearl. About Baltimore. I know you were really beginning to love that place. You were beginning to call the place home. And now you have decided to join a company that has no true home… no roots to dig in. Just know, home, is where your heart is. And no matter the obstacle in front of you, you will always have your home right there with you. No matter what," she pointed a finger at my chest where my heart lived.
I smiled at her words, finding peace within them. I wanted to blame so many things for the reason I decided to leave Carnage. The decision had not been an easy one to leave. At least I got to kick Alex Winters’ butt before leaving Baltimore. If I could face him, and all the vitriol he spewed out in every direction, surely I could face this Euan Hill. Another monster, who needed to be stuffed.
Our training ended with the two of us giggling like school children as we made snow angel's next to the blazing hot bonfire. That fire inside of me that wished to prove something to myself and everyone else, igniting after the much needed time off, hopefully to guide me on the path currently laid at my feet.
A Place a Piece
of My Heart Lives
(Off- Camera)
"Are you nervous?" I asked as I stared down at a chessboard, the Dragon white, the Raven black. We sat in comfortable deep red colored chairs in my hotel room with a small round table between us that held our chess game. The hotel we are in has to be the fanciest place I have ever stayed in, with fancy paintings hanging on the walls, and a beautiful carpet on the floor that matched the color of the deep red chairs we found comfort on. A gold desk lamp sat on a nice wooden desk. My broken music box that I could never leave behind sat next to the lamp. The toasty room kept the ice-cold weather at bay as I sat cross legged with only a sheet wrapped around me. I am sure my hair is a complete mess, but I had gained confidence with Matthew and couldn't care less how he saw me.
He had said the words first. Used the word first. The L word. I had waited till when I saw him face to face to tell him I felt the same way, surely he had second guessed his decision to say those words to me as he waited for some type of response from me. One thing led to another and now here we found ourselves, both in Project Honor. Time was still an enemy for us, but we’d made the best of the time we got.
I continued staring at the chessboard, waiting for a reply, not making a move yet.
“I’m always nervous, Pearl.” came the reply as Matthew stared down at the board. “Especially with the stakes, and the mystery. But it’s out of my hands. All I can do is show up, and show out.”
He idly dropped the pillow from his lap, now naked as a jailbird as he leaned back into the highback chair and raising his eyes to mine, a smile playing across his thin pale lips before he spoke once more. “I’m trying not to look past it. To the possibility of grappling with you in front of others, and with an annoying amount of clothing required.”
I snicker at him as I finally move a bishop forward. "Don't think I am going to take it easy on you, Raven. And you better not pull no acting skills on me, Matthew, try to say you know, you let me win if it comes to that," I laugh out loud now, knowing Matthew is taking part in some dramatic role in a film.
“I wouldn’t expect you to,” came his answer. Those glasz eyes, like the ocean in a storm, scanning the board as he threw a pawn forward. I scanned the board for any well-laid traps, before that smokey monotone burned my ears once more. “However, before we even get there, you need to worry about beating Sah’ta Th--sorry, I mean Bapho-wait. Shit. My bad. Euan Hill. That’s the one.”
“Sorry, Pearl. All these religious nutjobs and their sanctimonious bullshit run together after a while.”
I nodded my head, my eyes leaving his for a moment to stare back at the chessboard. "I get you. I did a bit of research into Euan. I sorta get him and don't at the same time. What does he think? He is a demon of his God? Or like, does he think he is just a follower of his God Lazarus? I never heard of this God. I should probably Google it," I say making a move and taking Matt's pawn. The game is very even at this point, but I wouldn't admit defeat until he said checkmate.
After making my move I Googled the name of Euan’s God, wondering if this is something he truly believes in or is just a part of his wrestling persona… I cannot tell at this point. I have learned some wrestlers are very good at keeping their personal selves completely separate from what was seen on television. Heck, I tried to keep my own self separate.
Matthew’s long slender fingers moved his knight once, he remained silent for a beat before speaking up, “Best not to dig into the man’s beliefs too hard, at this point. Cults are never a solo operation,” a pause, “last thing you and Mameha need to deal with right now is a bunch of hick nutjobs declaring war on you. Especially when I’m not on the same brand to back you up,” he picked up the bishop his knight took, before raising his gaze to meet mine that were fast away at scanning words on my phone.
“Checkmate.”
I made a face at the words I read on my phone, trying to comprehend Euan Hill, only to hear Matthew say checkmate. I looked up at the chessboard and then at his eyes, my jaw dropping. "You- you cheated didn't you?” I said in a teasing way. "No fair, I was… distracted."
I sat my phone down and stood then making my way slowly around the chessboard to where he sat, never letting my eyes leave his. I sat in his lap then and kiss him on his cheek. "I still love you, though. And I am going to miss you when you have to leave," I say as I buried my head into his chest and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, enjoying his scent.
“We’ll be near enough to each other at the next show. Before that, I swear I'll bounce back to you when I'm finished with business in Chicago and Reno. Ain’t a thing can keep me away from you, Pearl.” I felt him inhale my scent in kind, his nose burying into the top of my head. “I love you, and you’re stuck with me until you’re sick of me.”
A Message From Me
To a Monster…
I paced back and forth over a snow white covered piece of earth. The place I had fallen down feeling weak, as I had tried to catch my breath, but a few days ago. The place I had giggled and laughed with Mameha as we had made snow angel's. My usual wrestling getup is on, as well as the mask that covered half my face. Perhaps one day, the mask would disappear, and I might be comfortable enough in my own skin to reveal every aspect of myself. For now, I appreciated the privacy this mask gave me. Only those that truly meant something to me saw my face and knew the proper name to put with it. For now, I would simply be, The Dragon Lady.
My stronger half. The half of me that understood no matter the evil I defeated, there would always be one more monster to get rid of. A challenge I have grown used to in and out of the ring. Evil didn't just walk in that ring. Evil didn't always look like some huge monster foaming at the mouth. Sometimes, monsters… are even people you love.
"You know, a mistake occurred on the last show. A little bit about me was revealed, but never made it to screen. I truly hope it was an honest mistake, and for now it will be considered that way. I honestly think, this mistake, could have been a blessing in disguise. For while I have been able to learn some about you, Euan Hill, I am but an unknown competitor you may just be underestimating."
"And if that is the case, know, I have not let this possible advantage slip from my grasp. I have taken the much needed time to be prepared for you, even when you are one," I pause not knowing the exact words I should use, "Most difficult person to comprehend."
"Surely I am not underestimating you, even when I know you lost your last match. I too, have some difficulty with matches where I face more than one competitor. It is hard to focus on one enemy when so many stand before you. I get that. Completely. If it had been you versus anyone of those competitors alone, things may have ended up quite differently. And in your favor."
I stop pacing as I cross my hands behind my back. The sun is barely beginning to rise behind me. I smile underneath my mask and bow, "It is a pleasure to meet you Euan Hill," I straighten my back after these words, fixing my ice cold blue eyes to the camera Mameha held for me. "Even if you may not hold the same feeling. Makes me a bit sad honestly. For, after looking into you, I am very confused and at the same time enlightened."
"I noticed you mentioned talk of your sister. Well, she even spoke in your last promo trying to help describe the terrible bloodthirsty person you are. Do you know what the word Aurora means? Dawn. Such a pretty name. I don't know what you think of when you hear that name, but when I hear the word Dawn, I think of a better and brighter tomorrow. A new day to become someone who enjoys even the smallest pleasures of life… yet… with a sister named Aurora, you do not seem positive. Rather just the opposite. So negative, as your focus is on causing people pain, and causing blood to spill."
"Did you know what your own name means? After some digging your name is the equivalent of the name John. Which in turn means, God is gracious. In other words, God can be forgiving. At least this is how I always felt when I have heard this saying. A most beautiful meaning. Not anything negative. Not anything calling for blood or mayhem. Which again leaves me confused as to the way you come off. I only get bad vibes. Are you trying to punish someone? For your suffering? Or perhaps you are trying to make someone suffer just for your God Lazarus? I am still unsure."
I let out a deep breath closing my eyes as I breathed trying to make sense of this competitor. My eyes opened after a moment and I speak again chuckling slightly, "Maybe I am being too serious about this, but I looked up your God. Lazarus. After saving a wretch, a wretch you claim to be, I came to a conclusion. He would not want to make me or anyone else suffer on your account or his. That is if they are living."
"If I were dead, perhaps your God would see the righteous part of me and save me for I have never made anyone suffer who didn't deserve it. I have fought with honor, never cheating yet being cheated. I have shared my wealth and continue to do so not only with money, or words of wisdom, but time. Time." I take another deep steady breath before I continue… the sun slowly rising higher behind me.
"Time. Sometimes there's too much of it and at other times there just too little. Not enough time to explain, not enough time to understand. Right now I want to explain something to you. I… am not dead. I am alive. Very much alive. And far away from the day I face judgment from anyone especially a person as contradicting as yourself. I am breathing. I have a heartbeat. And no matter how you decide you want to contradict yourself against me, know I see it all."
"I see the lies you are filling your head with to make yourself feel better. The lies you tell yourself and your sister as you try to make sense of what your 'God' is saying to you. Are you truly trying to be evil? A monster out for innocent blood I ask? Or perhaps, just maybe, are you wanting to do good and you just don't know how to? Are you out for sadistic tainted blood to take and punish? I am not sure."
"What I can tell you and your sister, is I am here if you ever need to speak to someone in confidence. To share a secret deep within your heart. However, if you truly believe there is no good within you. If you truly believe you are nothing but a ruthless fighter. Know, you are my enemy. I fought and beat Alex Winter. Twice, even if the first win was stolen from me by our manager at the time."
"Evil monsters do not fare well near me. Even if it takes me more than one time to defeat them… I will defeat you. Does it make you feel bad? I was picked on the roster before you? Or maybe bad isn't the right word. Maybe nervous fits better?"
I shake my head. Absurd I think. Very absurd. "This company values me more and I haven't laid a foot in a ring they have set up. You really ought to be scared. For while you have some God I do not think you even completely understand, I have been training my whole life to fight the ruthlessness I see in you. The ruthlessness I have seen in people who I thought loved me. Who cared. And you are neither. What makes you think you will be safe in that ring with me? Though you are a threat, I am getting myself prepared for anything and everything. Hills and mountains I need to get over to defeat you. And I shall. With blood, sweat, and tears if need be."
"If for some reason you triumph over me, know it is no true victory, for I will come at you like ice, waiting at your door knocking to come in and ruin the warmth you have created for yourself. The true thing that matters is where my home is. Where my heart is. And where my heart is, is in the people I love and the people who hold me up on a most high pedestal even when I have thought I was unworthy of that place."
"You hold your God on this pedestal, and no matter any blood you spill from me or from anyone else, it will never be enough. You do not come off as that poor wretch hungry and wounded… you come off as that spoiled gluttonous predator locked inside the gates he calls home… eating too much… drinking too much… and not spreading his wealth around to those who need it most. Tell me Euan. When you die, will your God reward you or punish you for the way you have been behaving? Will your God forgive you for all the wrong you have done? This… Surely is a question both of us would love the answer to. I shall see you soon Euan Hill, and I shall be prepared to fight a monster."
With that, I bowed again, letting that Canadian sun be fully visible. The light overtook the camera as I disappeared into the glare.
What You Missed
The Dragon Lady sat there on the rings apron. Her elbows rested on her knees. She let her hands dangle between her knees in a most relaxing way. Her eyes stared down at her hands looking to be in deep thought. And she was as the dark red lights above her head moved slowly about making different shadows cast all around.
"I want you all to know," she paused letting her words sink in. "That I have been afraid of so much. Afraid of the shadow I cast. My own shadow for freaking sakes," she shook her head. "Afraid of the steps I take forward even when they are baby steps."
"I have asked myself time and time again, 'where are you going? What is this muck you have decided to plant your feet in now?'"
She took a deep breath and gave her eyes to the camera. "I am moving into the future. Where gravity can't hold me down anymore. Into the future, where I still have a chance to mold myself and make a name for myself."
"I want what many others want out of life. I want to know… the things I have done matter. I want to make some quiver at the sound of my name. I want them to have nightmares about The Dragon Lady knocking on their doors to make them answer and pay for all the wrong they have done and inflicted on others. Some… I want them to know, when my name is called beside theirs that a challenge lay ahead. A challenge I have given to absolutely everyone who has opposed me, as I have taken those baby steps forward."
"I… am… The Dragon Lady. And I have come for you all. To prove I am not just some rookie you can toss aside as a nobody. I have worked my tail off for chances at belts. At times I let them slip between my fingertips. And on one occasion, because remember I do not have some big history, I did win that belt. The CHAOS belt that Carnage Wrestling held out to me with open arms if I could earn it… and I did."
She got to her feet standing on the apron still and stared everyone down. "I would have stayed to prove myself more to that roster, but alas life had other plans for me and brought me here to this point. This point where I am staring down a roster, half of which I have only heard stories about. And the other half I have been unlucky enough to hear not a thing about."
"A position I am not unfamiliar with. A position I have begun to feel quite comfortable with. A position I have learned the disadvantages I have, have grown smaller and smaller as I have grown familiar with those known far and wide and those known only by but a handful of loyal fans."
"You see, I am like a vice… a vice that wraps around you and squeezes until not a bit of you remains the same as before. I want to prove to everyone, that during a time when we have all suffered greatly from memories that just aren't the same as they used to be, that these memories are in my hands to show you everything. I am the intermediary between you… and your most favorite people who stand in that ring."
"For while they think they have me figured out they are wrong. I don't have myself figured out completely… How can anyone else? I shall reveal myself more and more everytime I reveal an opponent's weakness. Everytime I reveal their strengths. And everytime you see just how prepared I have come because I know to be prepared at this point."
"Being unprepared is not something I do, at least not anymore. If I lose a match, know, I gave you everything I had to give at that particular time. And know, me losing to you has made me stronger not weaker. Even If a match stings me… I know I can learn from that sting for I have lost matches I shouldn't have. Matches I knew not a mistake was made and yet I still lost. I say again… I am ready for anything and everything anyone has to throw at me. The question is, are you?" She pointed an index finger at the camera screen and squinted her eyes in a most serious way before the scene disappeared.
(Off- Camera)
Alberta, Canada
About 36 hours away from Proving Ground 10 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada
7:30 AM
The crunch of the tightly packed snow filled my ears as I trudged up the hill. Each breath that came out of my mouth was visible as it fogged in the icy air. My teeth are chattering as I focused using every muscle I had to draw a toboggan up that steep hill covered in a white powder that felt much colder than the air I had gotten used to in Baltimore.
At the top of this snow covered hill, Mameha stood comfortably beside a blazing hot bonfire she had set up for the two of us, knowing how agonizing today’s training would be. It was unnerving sometimes, how she smiled and remained so warm and pleasant no matter the situation. Motherly, even when she was preparing to break me down all over again. She had built the fire knowing the warmth I would need by the end of this. Just like I knew, I'd only get through this the same as everything else: pushing myself to my limits, then beyond.
The time away from the ring was much needed. I had gotten time to clear my head after making a life-changing decision. After winning a belt and becoming a champion. After deciding it was best to hand the belt in and move onto bigger and greater goals.
I caught myself digging a foot deeper into the snow then almost tumbling down the steep hill as I nearly lost my balance, the toboggan with its precious cargo of more wood for the fire almost spilling as well. Mameha's shadow was almost close enough to touch. No way will I go down when I am so close to that burning fire that promised to warm the cold that had dug beneath the huge snow jacket I wear.
As I just stood there, trying to keep my balance and keep ahold of the sled, Mameha said down to me, "Warriors are versatile people. They change the way they think. The way they move at precisely the right moment. Though used to cold, you aren't used to a cold like this. The fire is waiting for you. What will you do, Pearl?"
At her words, I grunted loudly and grabbed the rope I held that was tied to the toboggan more firmly. And I pushed. Even with the time away from the ring, Mameha hadn't let me slack off in the slightest as we kept up a good workout routine going from the moment I decided Project Honor was the way for me to go. Not to mention, I am sure The Raven was getting plenty of a workout from me as I was him, everytime we were able to get our hands on each other alone.
Project Honor offered many appealing things. On a more personal level, I am just glad the company is a traveling one. Meant it would be harder for my dad to find me. It had been nerve racking having to go back to San Francisco to shoot a segment for Project Honors last show. My hometown. I won't lie, my feelings are slightly hurt because I had to endure this pain deep within me to shoot a segment that didn't even air. My dad had been so close, I truly hoped he wouldn't figure out I had been there even if just briefly. I have no clue if he made good on his threat of going to Baltimore in search of me either. All I know is at this particular time, he should be far, far away. And at least I could find solace in that.
With the last few feet ahead of me, I find it in me to get to the top of the hill, dragging that toboggan with me until the hill turned into flat ground. I dropped then, next to the bonfire and rolled on my back with my arms stretched wide and my legs stretched out, feeling the hot embers from the bonfire begin to soothe my tired and out of breath body.
The sun is bright in my eyes but offered extra warmth as Mameha plopped down next to me on her back. She reached over and took the hand closest to her and squeezed as she too bathed under the dim morning sun Canada had to offer us. "You did it." We stayed quiet a moment as my breathing slowly went to normal.
And then she cut the silence, "I am so sorry, Pearl. About Baltimore. I know you were really beginning to love that place. You were beginning to call the place home. And now you have decided to join a company that has no true home… no roots to dig in. Just know, home, is where your heart is. And no matter the obstacle in front of you, you will always have your home right there with you. No matter what," she pointed a finger at my chest where my heart lived.
I smiled at her words, finding peace within them. I wanted to blame so many things for the reason I decided to leave Carnage. The decision had not been an easy one to leave. At least I got to kick Alex Winters’ butt before leaving Baltimore. If I could face him, and all the vitriol he spewed out in every direction, surely I could face this Euan Hill. Another monster, who needed to be stuffed.
Our training ended with the two of us giggling like school children as we made snow angel's next to the blazing hot bonfire. That fire inside of me that wished to prove something to myself and everyone else, igniting after the much needed time off, hopefully to guide me on the path currently laid at my feet.
A Place a Piece
of My Heart Lives
(Off- Camera)
Alberta, Canada
9:00 PM
"Are you nervous?" I asked as I stared down at a chessboard, the Dragon white, the Raven black. We sat in comfortable deep red colored chairs in my hotel room with a small round table between us that held our chess game. The hotel we are in has to be the fanciest place I have ever stayed in, with fancy paintings hanging on the walls, and a beautiful carpet on the floor that matched the color of the deep red chairs we found comfort on. A gold desk lamp sat on a nice wooden desk. My broken music box that I could never leave behind sat next to the lamp. The toasty room kept the ice-cold weather at bay as I sat cross legged with only a sheet wrapped around me. I am sure my hair is a complete mess, but I had gained confidence with Matthew and couldn't care less how he saw me.
He had said the words first. Used the word first. The L word. I had waited till when I saw him face to face to tell him I felt the same way, surely he had second guessed his decision to say those words to me as he waited for some type of response from me. One thing led to another and now here we found ourselves, both in Project Honor. Time was still an enemy for us, but we’d made the best of the time we got.
I continued staring at the chessboard, waiting for a reply, not making a move yet.
“I’m always nervous, Pearl.” came the reply as Matthew stared down at the board. “Especially with the stakes, and the mystery. But it’s out of my hands. All I can do is show up, and show out.”
He idly dropped the pillow from his lap, now naked as a jailbird as he leaned back into the highback chair and raising his eyes to mine, a smile playing across his thin pale lips before he spoke once more. “I’m trying not to look past it. To the possibility of grappling with you in front of others, and with an annoying amount of clothing required.”
I snicker at him as I finally move a bishop forward. "Don't think I am going to take it easy on you, Raven. And you better not pull no acting skills on me, Matthew, try to say you know, you let me win if it comes to that," I laugh out loud now, knowing Matthew is taking part in some dramatic role in a film.
“I wouldn’t expect you to,” came his answer. Those glasz eyes, like the ocean in a storm, scanning the board as he threw a pawn forward. I scanned the board for any well-laid traps, before that smokey monotone burned my ears once more. “However, before we even get there, you need to worry about beating Sah’ta Th--sorry, I mean Bapho-wait. Shit. My bad. Euan Hill. That’s the one.”
“Sorry, Pearl. All these religious nutjobs and their sanctimonious bullshit run together after a while.”
I nodded my head, my eyes leaving his for a moment to stare back at the chessboard. "I get you. I did a bit of research into Euan. I sorta get him and don't at the same time. What does he think? He is a demon of his God? Or like, does he think he is just a follower of his God Lazarus? I never heard of this God. I should probably Google it," I say making a move and taking Matt's pawn. The game is very even at this point, but I wouldn't admit defeat until he said checkmate.
After making my move I Googled the name of Euan’s God, wondering if this is something he truly believes in or is just a part of his wrestling persona… I cannot tell at this point. I have learned some wrestlers are very good at keeping their personal selves completely separate from what was seen on television. Heck, I tried to keep my own self separate.
Matthew’s long slender fingers moved his knight once, he remained silent for a beat before speaking up, “Best not to dig into the man’s beliefs too hard, at this point. Cults are never a solo operation,” a pause, “last thing you and Mameha need to deal with right now is a bunch of hick nutjobs declaring war on you. Especially when I’m not on the same brand to back you up,” he picked up the bishop his knight took, before raising his gaze to meet mine that were fast away at scanning words on my phone.
“Checkmate.”
I made a face at the words I read on my phone, trying to comprehend Euan Hill, only to hear Matthew say checkmate. I looked up at the chessboard and then at his eyes, my jaw dropping. "You- you cheated didn't you?” I said in a teasing way. "No fair, I was… distracted."
I sat my phone down and stood then making my way slowly around the chessboard to where he sat, never letting my eyes leave his. I sat in his lap then and kiss him on his cheek. "I still love you, though. And I am going to miss you when you have to leave," I say as I buried my head into his chest and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, enjoying his scent.
“We’ll be near enough to each other at the next show. Before that, I swear I'll bounce back to you when I'm finished with business in Chicago and Reno. Ain’t a thing can keep me away from you, Pearl.” I felt him inhale my scent in kind, his nose burying into the top of my head. “I love you, and you’re stuck with me until you’re sick of me.”
A Message From Me
To a Monster…
Alberta, Canada
7:30 AM
1/28/2021
I paced back and forth over a snow white covered piece of earth. The place I had fallen down feeling weak, as I had tried to catch my breath, but a few days ago. The place I had giggled and laughed with Mameha as we had made snow angel's. My usual wrestling getup is on, as well as the mask that covered half my face. Perhaps one day, the mask would disappear, and I might be comfortable enough in my own skin to reveal every aspect of myself. For now, I appreciated the privacy this mask gave me. Only those that truly meant something to me saw my face and knew the proper name to put with it. For now, I would simply be, The Dragon Lady.
My stronger half. The half of me that understood no matter the evil I defeated, there would always be one more monster to get rid of. A challenge I have grown used to in and out of the ring. Evil didn't just walk in that ring. Evil didn't always look like some huge monster foaming at the mouth. Sometimes, monsters… are even people you love.
"You know, a mistake occurred on the last show. A little bit about me was revealed, but never made it to screen. I truly hope it was an honest mistake, and for now it will be considered that way. I honestly think, this mistake, could have been a blessing in disguise. For while I have been able to learn some about you, Euan Hill, I am but an unknown competitor you may just be underestimating."
"And if that is the case, know, I have not let this possible advantage slip from my grasp. I have taken the much needed time to be prepared for you, even when you are one," I pause not knowing the exact words I should use, "Most difficult person to comprehend."
"Surely I am not underestimating you, even when I know you lost your last match. I too, have some difficulty with matches where I face more than one competitor. It is hard to focus on one enemy when so many stand before you. I get that. Completely. If it had been you versus anyone of those competitors alone, things may have ended up quite differently. And in your favor."
I stop pacing as I cross my hands behind my back. The sun is barely beginning to rise behind me. I smile underneath my mask and bow, "It is a pleasure to meet you Euan Hill," I straighten my back after these words, fixing my ice cold blue eyes to the camera Mameha held for me. "Even if you may not hold the same feeling. Makes me a bit sad honestly. For, after looking into you, I am very confused and at the same time enlightened."
"I noticed you mentioned talk of your sister. Well, she even spoke in your last promo trying to help describe the terrible bloodthirsty person you are. Do you know what the word Aurora means? Dawn. Such a pretty name. I don't know what you think of when you hear that name, but when I hear the word Dawn, I think of a better and brighter tomorrow. A new day to become someone who enjoys even the smallest pleasures of life… yet… with a sister named Aurora, you do not seem positive. Rather just the opposite. So negative, as your focus is on causing people pain, and causing blood to spill."
"Did you know what your own name means? After some digging your name is the equivalent of the name John. Which in turn means, God is gracious. In other words, God can be forgiving. At least this is how I always felt when I have heard this saying. A most beautiful meaning. Not anything negative. Not anything calling for blood or mayhem. Which again leaves me confused as to the way you come off. I only get bad vibes. Are you trying to punish someone? For your suffering? Or perhaps you are trying to make someone suffer just for your God Lazarus? I am still unsure."
I let out a deep breath closing my eyes as I breathed trying to make sense of this competitor. My eyes opened after a moment and I speak again chuckling slightly, "Maybe I am being too serious about this, but I looked up your God. Lazarus. After saving a wretch, a wretch you claim to be, I came to a conclusion. He would not want to make me or anyone else suffer on your account or his. That is if they are living."
"If I were dead, perhaps your God would see the righteous part of me and save me for I have never made anyone suffer who didn't deserve it. I have fought with honor, never cheating yet being cheated. I have shared my wealth and continue to do so not only with money, or words of wisdom, but time. Time." I take another deep steady breath before I continue… the sun slowly rising higher behind me.
"Time. Sometimes there's too much of it and at other times there just too little. Not enough time to explain, not enough time to understand. Right now I want to explain something to you. I… am not dead. I am alive. Very much alive. And far away from the day I face judgment from anyone especially a person as contradicting as yourself. I am breathing. I have a heartbeat. And no matter how you decide you want to contradict yourself against me, know I see it all."
"I see the lies you are filling your head with to make yourself feel better. The lies you tell yourself and your sister as you try to make sense of what your 'God' is saying to you. Are you truly trying to be evil? A monster out for innocent blood I ask? Or perhaps, just maybe, are you wanting to do good and you just don't know how to? Are you out for sadistic tainted blood to take and punish? I am not sure."
"What I can tell you and your sister, is I am here if you ever need to speak to someone in confidence. To share a secret deep within your heart. However, if you truly believe there is no good within you. If you truly believe you are nothing but a ruthless fighter. Know, you are my enemy. I fought and beat Alex Winter. Twice, even if the first win was stolen from me by our manager at the time."
"Evil monsters do not fare well near me. Even if it takes me more than one time to defeat them… I will defeat you. Does it make you feel bad? I was picked on the roster before you? Or maybe bad isn't the right word. Maybe nervous fits better?"
I shake my head. Absurd I think. Very absurd. "This company values me more and I haven't laid a foot in a ring they have set up. You really ought to be scared. For while you have some God I do not think you even completely understand, I have been training my whole life to fight the ruthlessness I see in you. The ruthlessness I have seen in people who I thought loved me. Who cared. And you are neither. What makes you think you will be safe in that ring with me? Though you are a threat, I am getting myself prepared for anything and everything. Hills and mountains I need to get over to defeat you. And I shall. With blood, sweat, and tears if need be."
"If for some reason you triumph over me, know it is no true victory, for I will come at you like ice, waiting at your door knocking to come in and ruin the warmth you have created for yourself. The true thing that matters is where my home is. Where my heart is. And where my heart is, is in the people I love and the people who hold me up on a most high pedestal even when I have thought I was unworthy of that place."
"You hold your God on this pedestal, and no matter any blood you spill from me or from anyone else, it will never be enough. You do not come off as that poor wretch hungry and wounded… you come off as that spoiled gluttonous predator locked inside the gates he calls home… eating too much… drinking too much… and not spreading his wealth around to those who need it most. Tell me Euan. When you die, will your God reward you or punish you for the way you have been behaving? Will your God forgive you for all the wrong you have done? This… Surely is a question both of us would love the answer to. I shall see you soon Euan Hill, and I shall be prepared to fight a monster."
With that, I bowed again, letting that Canadian sun be fully visible. The light overtook the camera as I disappeared into the glare.
What You Missed
The Forgotten Segment
San Francisco, California
7:00 PM
PROVING GROUNDS DRAFT SHOW
UNAIRED FOOTAGE
The Dragon Lady sat there on the rings apron. Her elbows rested on her knees. She let her hands dangle between her knees in a most relaxing way. Her eyes stared down at her hands looking to be in deep thought. And she was as the dark red lights above her head moved slowly about making different shadows cast all around.
"I want you all to know," she paused letting her words sink in. "That I have been afraid of so much. Afraid of the shadow I cast. My own shadow for freaking sakes," she shook her head. "Afraid of the steps I take forward even when they are baby steps."
"I have asked myself time and time again, 'where are you going? What is this muck you have decided to plant your feet in now?'"
She took a deep breath and gave her eyes to the camera. "I am moving into the future. Where gravity can't hold me down anymore. Into the future, where I still have a chance to mold myself and make a name for myself."
"I want what many others want out of life. I want to know… the things I have done matter. I want to make some quiver at the sound of my name. I want them to have nightmares about The Dragon Lady knocking on their doors to make them answer and pay for all the wrong they have done and inflicted on others. Some… I want them to know, when my name is called beside theirs that a challenge lay ahead. A challenge I have given to absolutely everyone who has opposed me, as I have taken those baby steps forward."
"I… am… The Dragon Lady. And I have come for you all. To prove I am not just some rookie you can toss aside as a nobody. I have worked my tail off for chances at belts. At times I let them slip between my fingertips. And on one occasion, because remember I do not have some big history, I did win that belt. The CHAOS belt that Carnage Wrestling held out to me with open arms if I could earn it… and I did."
She got to her feet standing on the apron still and stared everyone down. "I would have stayed to prove myself more to that roster, but alas life had other plans for me and brought me here to this point. This point where I am staring down a roster, half of which I have only heard stories about. And the other half I have been unlucky enough to hear not a thing about."
"A position I am not unfamiliar with. A position I have begun to feel quite comfortable with. A position I have learned the disadvantages I have, have grown smaller and smaller as I have grown familiar with those known far and wide and those known only by but a handful of loyal fans."
"You see, I am like a vice… a vice that wraps around you and squeezes until not a bit of you remains the same as before. I want to prove to everyone, that during a time when we have all suffered greatly from memories that just aren't the same as they used to be, that these memories are in my hands to show you everything. I am the intermediary between you… and your most favorite people who stand in that ring."
"For while they think they have me figured out they are wrong. I don't have myself figured out completely… How can anyone else? I shall reveal myself more and more everytime I reveal an opponent's weakness. Everytime I reveal their strengths. And everytime you see just how prepared I have come because I know to be prepared at this point."
"Being unprepared is not something I do, at least not anymore. If I lose a match, know, I gave you everything I had to give at that particular time. And know, me losing to you has made me stronger not weaker. Even If a match stings me… I know I can learn from that sting for I have lost matches I shouldn't have. Matches I knew not a mistake was made and yet I still lost. I say again… I am ready for anything and everything anyone has to throw at me. The question is, are you?" She pointed an index finger at the camera screen and squinted her eyes in a most serious way before the scene disappeared.