Post by MYŌJIN on May 26, 2022 22:49:37 GMT -5
So, What Now? / Introspection, Part I
VS Brandon Hendrix | PGXXV
Pride comes before the fall. Overconfidence leads to carelessness.
Those sayings, the lesson that they taught had always meant very little to MYŌJIN. After all, tales and morals about humility were something that simply never applied to them. Their ego had always been a part of what fueled their ambition, for better or for worse. Why should they be humble in a world that treated such as weakness, where arrogance- knowing one's skill and being proud of it- was everything that they were taught? It was everything that they knew, and they usually were able to back up their words. Time and time again, the X-Factor Champion heard that saying about pride, but not once had they heeded its warning.
Until now.
Disputed Territory was supposed to be the moment where all the pieces fell into place. It was supposed to be the culmination of their journey, it finally seemed like it was their time. Finally. Building up a band of the best the company had to offer, leading them into battle as the last original of Project: Honor against the corruption that had infested their brand, they were to be the hero. The chosen one, even, to vanquish evil and fulfill their destiny as both X-Factor Champion and Grand Champion. A perfect fairy tale ending.
Except that's all that it was; a fairy tale. A romanticized dream, maybe even somewhat delusional in hindsight. Everything that MYŌJIN had believed would finally happen… didn't.
They weren't the hero that saved the day. Both villains got away with prizes. Meanwhile, the Shining Star had lost nothing… but gained nothing. Humiliated not once, but twice in the same night.
While Shelldrake snuck away with the top championship of Proving Ground, Asakura immediately became the next challenger to Billy Bennett- …MYŌJIN was still in the same spot. Everyone moved on quickly while they were frozen in their tracks.
Still X-Factor Champion, sure. It counted as the fifth successful defense under MYŌJIN's everlasting reign. Though, while they continued to tell themself that they had lost nor gained anything in an attempt to soften the blow, to comfort themself- MYŌJIM knew that they had still lost something. Maybe something more important than the championship they proudly carried:
Their confidence. Their belief in themself. The right to call themself the Ace as two people that they had once defeated before got their revenge on them. Maybe, it was karma in a sense. MYŌJIN didn't know, truthfully they didn't care.
They lost. Like they had at Bloodbath. Like they had in the Tag Team Tournament. Like when they had been injured earlier last year. Like when they lost Zane. Like they had lost Himari.
This time, MYŌJIN didn't know how to cope with that.
Their self-proclaimed destiny did not come to fruition, instead a harsh reminder that the Grand Championship was still just beyond their reach. Even after so much growth, it still eluded them.
What MYŌJIN had thought to be inevitable turned out to be avoided. The supposed hero didn't win. There was no happiness ever after.
…So, what now?
They kept asking themself that question as they walked down the backstage hallways. Head down, simply dragging the X-Factor Championship across the floor. They passed by person after person, almost like everyone else was in the background. Just moving static. Nothing mattered at that moment, they didn't want to talk to anyone. They didn't want to see anyone. They just wanted to be left alone.
Yet, of course, that wasn't going to happen as they felt an arm go to touch their shoulder. Halting in their tracks as they turned to look over to see who it was.
Caden Yung.
“Hey, Shouta… Are you okay?” He asked, visible concern on his face.
What kind of question was that? Did they look okay? After what had happened earlier that night, did they seem like they would be okay?
“I'm fine. Yep, fine. It's whatever. I'm going to clean up, sleep, then go home.” MYŌJIN rushed the words out, trying to avoid any conversation. It was a blatant lie, but they needed to get away. From Caden. From everything. Because they know if for just a single moment they didn't control their emotions, words that would later be regretful could slip out.
MYŌJIN kept walking, slinging the Championship across their shoulder carelessly. Not bothering to look over at Caden as he kept up, trying to look them in the eyes. “You're obviously not okay, and I mean- Listen, that's perfectly understandable. I know you're hurting and-”
“Caden. Please. I just… I want to go rest, I really can't do this right now.” They spoke, jaw tightening. The exasperation and impatience in their voice were evident. MYŌJIN did their best to repress the bitter, burning anger twisting in their stomach with a slightly uneven, shaky deep breath.
“Shouta, I… I just want you to know that I get it. I understand how you feel, you don't have to be alone right no-” Caden started, reaching out to gently touch their arm again.
This time MYŌJIN physically recoiled back, sharply exhaling. “Do you? Do you get it? Do you know exactly how I fucking feel right now?”
If there was nothing that they hated more, it was hearing those words. Caden took a step back in surprise, eyes slightly widening. It wasn't normal for MYŌJIN to raise their voice, especially at him.
I get it.
I know how you feel.
I understand.
Caden didn't. No one did. That attempt at empathy was nothing but shallow and cheap. As fucking comforting as hearing ‘thoughts and prayers’. “I don't want to hear it, Caden. Because you don't. You could NEVER understand. You think everything's just a joke, that just some words and a few cutesy liittle dumb quips will make me feel better. It DOESN'T, okay?”
“Dude, I'm just trying to…”
“Trying to what?” They snapped. “Give me another generic pep talk? ‘You did your best, Shouta, you'll just have to try again’. ‘It's going to be okay, Shouta, there's always next time’. ‘You're still the best champion, Shouta’. Is that what you're going to tell me? Save it. I'm so sick of you, of EVERYONE telling me the same tired couple of sentences thinking that'll do something.”
Everything began to boil over. MYŌJIN felt like their body could catch on fire as the frustration, the fatigue, the anger spread throughout them with each word. Their chest felt tight, and their heart thumped wildly, pounding against their chest.
“...And how could you know what it's like, anyway? After all, your entire career wasn't worth shit. You don't know what it's like to have high expectations of you for every single little thing, because no one expected a damn thing from you.” Growling out each word, their voice cracked as if pressure against floodgates started to break through.
Caden simply stood there, visibly shaken. Hurt, even as he blinked a few times while his lips hung apart. His eyebrows tilted upward. It only made MYŌJIN feel worse. Upset with him irrationally for daring to be wounded, upset for themself for treating him like that. They couldn't even stand to look at him any longer.
“..Hey, you.. You don't mean that, Sho-”
“Fuck! Just take a hint and go AWAY! Leave me ALONE, Caden!” MYŌJIN shouted, loud enough that it felt like it could echo. The entire hallway grew silent as everyone stopped to stare. They felt warm tears on their cheeks, pouring. Their face burned, flushed with so much anger. Feeling a sore lump in their throat as if they had eaten glass.
Realizing that everyone was looking at them, MYŌJIN paused. With looks of confusion and pity, everyone sees the so-called best champion of Project: Honor as a pathetic, emotional wreck. They were an embarrassment.
Before Caden could say anything else, MYŌJIN just turned and sprinted. They ran. Desperate to get as far away as they possibly could.
Great. Just great. As if the night couldn't get any worse, they had just possibly destroyed a friendship- and instead of apologizing, they just went running off like a coward.
So, again… What now?
I've been silent for a bit, haven’t I?
I know, I'm usually the talkative type. Well, that's an understatement, more like I sing my own praises constantly and usually justifiably. After all, I've done so much in this company that deserves praise. At this point, considering my title reign as the most dominant X-Factor Champion that has ever lived is still ongoing. Still the wrestler with the most matches in this company. Still the very last original that's still going and going strong…
Even in a match where my championship was co close to being lost, I still managed to hold onto it. Though, of course, a lot more happened at Disputed Territory than just that.
I didn't get the Grand Championship like I promised that I would. I'm the only person in that match that had gotten pinned twice. I won nothing, I gained nothing except a bitter taste in my mouth- To put it simply? I was embarrassed. In a way that I've never been before, and it stung. After that happened, I went into isolation. I struggled to cope with what had happened, and for those few weeks that Project: Honor didn't hold a show, I was going through a downward spiral.
I grew up being taught that wins and losses mattered above anything else. That gold, trophies, awards were always to be the end goal. Raised to believe that there was no other way to survive in life than being competitive at everything… And if you lost? That meant you were weak. Pathetic. Either I was to strive to be absolutely perfect, or I should give it up and walk away.
But professional wrestling? When I discovered professional wrestling, it was so different from anything else I had ever experienced. This sport is wild, chaotic, unpredictable, so different from the norms. Truly, this was perfect for me. I realized that I was meant for this… because it gave me the freedom to express myself as a fighter and as a person. For the first time I think in my life, I was competing not because of a paycheck bonus or to honor the legacy of my father, who I haven't seen in years-
I waa doing this because it was my passion. My lifeforce. My everything.
…Then that bad habit started finding its way back into my life. Maybe because after so long, I've just become wired that way to be so obsessed even to my own detriment. I started hungrily yearning for more success instead of my own personal happiness, and I lost focus of why I wrestled in the first place.
I'm a very sore loser. I was angry, angry that once again, the championship that I have aimed to reach since the very first Proving Ground show had eluded me. Angry that two men that I know I am more than capable of beating, considering I've accomplished just that. Angry that I was denied the right to finally be the face of Project: Honor. I blamed myself, I blamed everyone else too. I took my ball and ran with it to think for a while.
I didn't get the ending that I wanted… Now, what am I going to do?
Wins and losses matter in professional wrestling. Please never let someone tell you anything differently. In order to be successful at this sport, you have to actually be good at it. I lost that night, and after that, I didn't know what was next for me. I was- I am still a champion, but I didn't feel like one. I didn't talk to anyone for at least a week, and barely got any sleep because the match kept replaying over and over again in my head.
Then Gladiator Games arrived. At first, I was going to take the night off. I was almost going to walk away- I didn't want to face any challenges that night, I wanted to stay home and hide for as long as I possibly could… When I saw Brandon Hendrix issue a challenge to me for the X-Factor Championship, I almost said no. Then I started wondering to myself…
Are you about to run away? What the hell is wrong with you, Shouta?
When I won the X-Factor Championship, I promised to be a fighting champion. I promised to bring a level of prestige to this title that had never been seen before, even by the second-best wrestler to have ever held this belt, Indy Darling. I swore that I would take it away from Lance Williams and make it worth something again because this belt and I have had a long history ever since I was in the tournament made to crown the inaugural champion. I didn't win that tournament. I lost the second tournament when this title had been vacated as well, but do you know what?
I didn't give up.
It took months, more than a FULL year even to reach this belt since my first chance. I never gave up, I kept scratching and clawing, I kept fighting defiantly against everything that was in my way and it finally paid off. I finally made this mine and now this championship has become synonymous with me. This title is a part of me.
And I owe it to myself to keep going. I owe it to the Project: Honor faithful because I told them that I would never let them down.
The Shining Star is far from ready to let the X-Factor Championship go. That just so happens to be very, very unfortunate for one Hendrix, though, isn't it?
The old local venue that was once known as a local Californian indie had now been completely turned around as the hangout space for the group that MYOJIN had banded together. Though even then, MYOJIN found themself alone in it- with no one else around. The lights were on, but the place gave off such a sense of loneliness without anyone being in there. It seemed… bigger without an audience crowding it up, or the people that the Shining Star had befriended being around. They leaned against the apron of the squared circle which sat in the center of the building.
MYOJIN needed something comforting. Somewhere that they felt they could relax and contemplate. Their new home didn't feel just like home yet for them, truthfully, the X-Factor Champion hadn't been able to think of anywhere else to go.
It made them reminisce. To think of a time in their life before Project: Honor. Before they had made it to the big leagues in wrestling. A happier time. When wrestling came so much easier to them, when starting out felt like opening up an adventurous and bright new chapter in their life. Then, it was more like harmless fun than anything else. A hobby, a childhood dream, something to scratch off a bucket list. Yet, for better or for worse, it was their life now. Every moment felt like it counted. Every match, win or loss, statistics, records, and reigns felt so important. Everything mattered.
Too much. Even before Disputed Territory, the stress of trying to uphold some status that in the end meant very little had been dragging them down.
MYŌJIN had to be the person with the most matches in the company. MYŌJIN had to be the person with the most wins, the longest title reign. There was a need, an obsessive craving to break every record they could think of. Why were they like that? Why did they so badly need to establish themself as the workhorse?
What was the fucking point of it?
MYŌJIN had a passion for professional wrestling, they were competitive- but unlike everyone else, to their own detriment, it seemed. It felt like that any moment they weren't on top, that they didn't feel like the most important and most powerful person- that no one would care about them. Were they really that self-conscious?
Probably. Maybe they were just scared of becoming the thing that they accused so many others: irrelevant.
Regardless, it had taken its toll. And they didn't know how much more they could take, pushing their limits mentally and physically just because they cared so much about what others seemed to think. Always needing approval, always needing praise, even if it came at the cost of their own health. Their own satisfaction. Their own life.
It was almost funny. Scoffing incredulously at the lengths of their ego, MYŌJIN's faint grin quickly faded once they heard the sound of the venue's doors opening from across the room. They turned, looking to see who had entered.
“It'd be nice if you learned how to answer your calls.” Michael Bishop's gruff voice uttered with a hint of annoyance as he walked across the room. “Makin' us come all the way here to find you.”
Liz Karlson, Bishop's partner in BFG Division, was right next to him. The one-half of the Tag Team Champions placed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Been trying to get ahold of you for, what, a few weeks now?”
MYŌJIN was surprised. Blinking unsurely as he stopped in front of them, “I- Uh, yeah.. I'm sorry about that.”
“Damn right, you are If we're going to do this whole friendship and magic shit, it'd at least be nice to have the ‘leader’ not go hiding and sulking.” Soon followed the voice of James Raymond, who didn't seem very much amused as he entered from a different entrance with his arms crossed.
“Why are all of you guys here?”
“Because we figured that you probably shouldn't be on your own having a pity party about what had happened.” Emmanuelle soon followed, MYŌJIN's own on-and-off-again partner. Probably the closest friend they had in a long time. She gave a small smile, which knowing her- was probably the most friendly look they were going to get from her. “...Caden told me about how things went, that you weren't doing well… I guess we all had the same idea about coming to check up on you.”
Caden. Even after losing their shit at him, he was still looking out for them? Remembering that night after cooling down had only caused them to feel worse, knowing that he cared enough to try and make sure they had someone to talk to- even if it wasn't him. MYŌJIN knew they had to apologize eventually, but… They weren't sure if they could look him in the eyes, if an apology would be enough. It hadn't been the first time that they had ever mistreated Caden without thinking, the fact that he didn't show up himself was telling. Maybe… Maybe he finally had enough of them.
Not that they could blame him for that. Looking toward the four, “Okay… How did all of you know that I was going to be here?”
“Well…. That'd be because of me.” Out came the Shining Star's blue-haired mentor, Tara. Tara Fenix. A little while into her pregnancy by now as she grinned.
“So, you called all of us up here for… what? To give MYŌ a hug and tell them everything's gonna be okay?” Raymond spoke somewhat skeptically, earning a slight glare from Emmanuelle. It was clear to MYŌJIN that despite all of them now being allies, it would take time for them to all trust each other- to trust them as well, in Raymond's case.
“Well, when you put it like that… It sounds like everyone's time is getting wasted, but I think this is pretty important.” Walking toward the group, Tara's smile lightly faded into a more stern look. “If we're going to be a team and take this seriously, we all have to be in sync. We cannot be just a bunch of random people thrown together like True Society or Big Drip Worldwide. A part of being a cohesive, successful unit is making sure everyone's head is in the game… And right now? MYŌJIN, here, hasn't been exactly in the best headspace.”
Frowning, they ran through their hair while thinking of what to say as the other looked at them, waiting for them to speak. MYŌJIN sighed, briefly averting their gaze before turning toward the others. “I.. I owe all of you an apology. I know that you expected better out of me, I know that I promised that I was going to be Grand Champion- and I failed. I let myself down. I let everyone down, then I ran off and didn't talk to anyone for a few days. Some leader, right..?”
Biting their lip, MYŌJIN's eyes lowered. ”If any of you think I'm not fit for this… Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not as reliable as I thought I was… I don't know-”
“Oh, shut up with that, alright?” Bishop interrupted, shaking his head. “I think I can speak for all of us when I say that no one decided to work with you because we cared about being Grand Champion. Sure, it'd be nice for one of us to hold that belt. Emmanuelle might, if that's the prize she won from that match- who knows.”
Walking up toward the X-Factor Champion, Bishop shook his head, “But it's not all just about gold, MYŌ… When you helped me and Liz out when those fuckers tried to catch us lacking- that let me know if I could trust you. I didn't join ya because I was worried about being some dominant group. When you said you wanted to make Project: Honor a better company, I looked in your eyes and I saw that you meant it. I think we all did.”
“Kid, losses are a part of this sport. That's just how wrestling is, you didn't win. Things didn't go your way, that sucks- Y'know something? Things haven't gone my way plenty of times, you know how much I've had to fight to get where I am right now- but it wasn't easy. I failed, hell- I've screwed up and cost myself sometimes… But do you know what I did every time? I didn't give up. I kept going, kept trying, kept fighting. That's what it's all about… So ya got knocked down at that Pay Per View, shit happens, but are you going to stay down or get back up?” Bishop lightly jabbed a finger to their chest, MYŌJIN instinctively wanted to argue- as they had with Caden, but… they couldn't. Because his words made sense.
Of course, the bitter and upset part of them still wanted to wallow in pity. To still be angry and let their emotions eat away at them... But MYŌJIN also knew that Michael was right.
“He's right,” Tara spoke. “You know that I've always rooted for you, and I always will. I have faith in you.”
“I've seen you come back from worse, honestly.” Emmanuelle gave a playful snort. “It's not the end of the world, champ.”
“It'd be lame as shit if you just started getting mopey, I prefer it when you're a smug jerk.” MYŌJIN couldn't tell if Liz was making a joke or being entirely serious.
“...You know what I think, so don't make me regret it.” Raymond bluntly announced.
They all… still had faith in them?
Even after MYŌJIN had talked about such a big game, about how they were going to lead Project: Honor into a new era, about being the first person to hold both the X-Factor and Grand Championships simultaneously… When they had failed to do both of those things, they assumed that everyone would be disappointed. That they would be looked down upon, ridiculed, laughed at, and seen as weak.. Yet that wasn't the case at all.
MYŌJIN had misjudged the five people standing around them. It probably said more about themself that they assumed the others would think that way.
Taking a deep breath, the X-Factor Champion looked up and nodded. “I'm going to do better from here on out. All of you are right, I need to get focused again.”
“Good! Because I had a question… What are we gonna be called exactly?” Liz spoke up, everyone turned to her curiously and with a little confusion. “What? Every group needs a name! True Society had one. Big Drip Productions, despite how shitty that sound, had one. So what's our name gonna be?”
Then everyone turned back to MYŌJIN. “...Why are you looking at me?”
“Well, you're the one who recruited everyone. It's your call,” Emmanuelle noted.
Pausing, the Shining Star thought to themself while placing a hand on their chin. Truthfully, it hadn't been something that they had considered until it was now brought up to them. A lightbulb finally went off as their brown eyes brightened…
“I think I might have an idea.”
I'm not an idiot, Hendrix. I know exactly why you took your chance to challenge me at this upcoming Proving Ground. It's easy to see, you saw that for the first time in a long time that I took a singles loss at Disputed Territory, and you figured that if you take your shot right now while you can, it'll pay off. Maybe you believe that I'm at my lowest point, not ready or in the right mental space- So it'll make your shot at my championship much easier. I mean, you'd be an idiot not to. You're better at talking shit than actually wrestling given I can take an easy look at your record and see that you've managed nothing of late. Of course, you're going to do your best to get in my head and fuck with me. I wouldn't blame you. It's something that I would do if I was against someone who just took a major loss.
The thing is, Hendrix, right now? I'm not feeling any doubt. I'm not feeling the least bit worried.
I have never felt more determined, more certain in my life.
I can promise you, honey. You're going to be disappointed with reality.
Before then, I would've walked into a match with you and immediately dismiss you as a real challenge. I mean, after all, you've lost more matches than you've won and the ones that you have WON were against mostly nobodies. The only championship that you have ever held. I could talk about everything that you've done wrong, everything that you've failed at, everything you've lost. Maybe the fact that you haven't managed to accomplish anything besides beating Elena DeDraca once a long time ago. You've never been someone that has ever been on my radar, someone that I never truly cared to pay any attention to because you never gave me a reason to. It's not like you were ever going to win an X-Factor title shot on your own, so the moment you had the chance to challenge me for this belt- you did.
And I'm glad you did, Hendrix. I'm glad that you're giving me a way to vent, to release all the pent-up anger and frustration, and target one person with it. You assumed that you were going to be facing someone who wasn't going to be focused or prepared for another title defense. You thought wrong.
Not winning the Grand Championship was a much-needed wake-up call for yours truly. I had forgotten why I was doing this, why professional wrestling had mattered so much, why the X-Factor Championship had mattered so much to me. Project: Honor is my home, it's everything that I had ever wanted. This title represents every struggle that I've had in this company, every missed opportunity that I either failed to capitalize on or simply wasn't lucky enough. I may not be the greatest wrestler here, I might not be the Ace of Project: Honor like I wanted so badly to be-...
But that's okay, I have and will learn from the mistakes I've made. I was so consumed with the idea of reaching perfection, so consumed with the idea of being the savior of this place and molding it into my own image. So obsessed with all the records and stats to make my name look good, I was so focused on the idea of creating a legacy- That I forgot how to live in the present. How to focus on the here and now, how to live in the moment. I'm through fighting for just the fame and glory.
I'm doing this for myself. Not to prove anything to anyone, especially not you, but MYSELF. And that's more than can be said about you, isn't, Hendrix?
A grown man that calls himself something as stupid as “Based God”, constantly trying his hardest to be adored by the fans when he has the charisma of a wet piece of cardboard. Always trying to establish himself as a dominant force to be reckoned with when the only thing that he's managed to prove is that he's mediocrity personified. I didn't accept your challenge because I wanted a good fight, I accepted your challenge because I need to make an example out of you.
Everything you do, every corny line you say sounds so fake. You lack authenticity as much as you lack consistency. Hendrix will say anything that he thinks will make him look good to others and every time those words have ended up backfiring. Remember when you said the Legacy Champion wasn't a good wrestler? Then she humiliated you, and that's nothing new for you, is it? A chip on your shoulder, pretending that you haven't reached your full potential and that you are capable of more- When every single time, you've failed to show that.
But despite that? Despite me being a better wrestler than you, despite me being ten-times more likable, and despite me being an actual champion- We aren't that different, Hendrix.
Both of us had been striving for validation, to be seen as something greater. We both have wanted all of the accolades, all of the recognition, the congratulations- the spotlight. When I set my sights on the Grand Championship, I wanted it so badly because of those reasons. I wanted to be the first person to hold two singles championships at once so people would be forced to love me. I grew up in a household where I was made to feel inferior to my siblings, that I was never good enough, and that I would never be able to reach their level of skill. So the moment that I saw the chance to FINALLY win my first World Title? It was all I could think about, and that cost me. It humbled me.
Now I see you staring at my X-Factor Championship in the exact same way, and I'm going to break your heart just like I had mine broken. I'm going to teach you the lesson that I was forced to learn, or at least I'm going to try and get it through that thick forehead of yours.
Though I doubt you'll listen because with every other defeat, you've never stopped to try and think about why you lost. You keep regurgitating the same dumb catchphrases and yelling that you're “Brandon Fucking Hendrix” as if anyone cares to look at your own flaws and try to grow from each defeat. That's where the real difference lies in between us, Hendrix.
I may be arrogant, I may be flawed, I may not be in the position that I want to be, but I'm still leagues ahead of you. One setback is not going to start a chain reaction of my downfall, and you are NOT going to succeed by using me as a stepping stone. I learn and I adapt, I overcome- no matter how many tries it takes. One has to wonder about you though, when you inevitably fail to win the X-Factor Title from me, are you going to grow from it? Are you going to become a better wrestler?
Or are you going to continue to be the joke to everyone's punchline?
Disputed Territory has shown me that I still have a lot of maturing to do, and one day I will finally reach the top of the mountain- but the X-Factor Championship is now a part of my soul, it represents everything of my career- the pain and the struggle, the victories, the journey that has led me to this exact moment. And if you think for ONE second that you're going to take away the belt that I've fiercely defended with my life for more than half a year at this point?
You're delusional, but everyone knew that about you already.
I will walk in as X-Factor Champion, I will leave as X-Factor Champion. Sorry, not sorry.
“Hey, can you be careful with that stuff?”
“I don't have to help you, ya know. It'd be nice if you were a little more grateful- plus, what the hell are you even carrying in this? It's so heavy!”
“Oh, come on, it's not that bad. You're just whining.”
Typical banter between siblings, older and younger. MYOJIN's sister, Akira- who was better known by her wrestling alias; YOKAI, carried a box that was labeled ‘Personal Items’. MYOJIN themself carried two boxes underneath their arms marked ‘Clothes’ out of the back of a hauling truck, walking up a yard to the opened front door of their new home. It was two stories Mediterranean style, fairly big, and rather expensive looking; the place MYOJIN had found to live in after moving out of the apartment they had spent five years in. Taking a moment to stop and stare at their new place, they couldn't help the grin that started to form on their face.
It was… almost unreal, in a way. Finally living in a home they owned, not rented. It was a cathartic feeling to see how far they had come as not only a wrestler but a person. Becoming financially stable enough to be able to buy somewhere lovely, in California, of all places- felt like a major accomplishment. MYOJIN felt that it was like a restart, a new chapter in their life ever since being broken up with their former fiancee, Himari. Living in a place that they once had shared with another person had suddenly made it feel so… lonely. Something that had been affecting their mental health for a rather long time. It was their way of finally moving on.
“So, is that everything?” Akira asked as she set the box in the spacious living room, which was also filled with basic furniture and more boxes. Turning back toward the haul truck, seeing it was empty, MYOJIN nodded.
“Yep, that looks like it should be all of it.” Though, as they looked outside, they were slightly caught off guard by the view.
The Californian sun was setting, the once blue sky turning fiery hues of orange, red, and purple. The clouds became outlined with a golden shimmer from the giant star in front of the Earth's dimming radiance. The light darkened the palm trees into silhouettes. “Hey, Akira, want to sit on the patio for a little bit?”
“Sure, why not?”
The two pulled out some chairs and sat in the backyard, looking up at the beautiful sky. Though Akira had brought something with her, a pack of flavored light beers, sitting the beverages down in the middle between their chairs. MYOJIN raised an eyebrow with light surprise as she took one out and cracked it open, “What, were you just saving those for the perfect occasion?”
“I got them for you, dummy. Think of it as a little housewarming gift after a looooong day.” Their sister then took a sip and wrinkled her nose lightly. “The drinks are, uh… a little warm though.”
Taking one of their own, MYOJIN cracked the lid open and sipped from it as well. “So… How are you feeling?” Akira suddenly asked.
Turning toward her curiously, they were slightly unsure of what she meant. “Feeling about what?”
“I dunno… About everything, you know?” She responded, lightly shrugging her shoulders. “About finally getting your own house, about everything that's been going on. For a little, while it was hard to get ahold of you, I just want to know what's been up with you.”
MYOJIN paused, lightly brushing their hair out of their face while crossing a leg over their knee. “I've… kind of been asking myself that. That match at Project: Honor really screwed with me for days, for weeks even… I couldn't get over that loss, I beat myself up over it. I even yelled at Caden-”
“You what?”
“Akira, I already feel bad enough about it.” MYOJIN quickly retorted, knowing she was probably about to scold them. A few moments passed as they rubbed the side of their face.
“For the first time, I think that I'm able to recognize that… maybe I'm not okay. Not okay as I should be. Feeling like I always had to be the best, that if I wasn't undisputedly on top of everything, then I'm nothing more than a failure. Losing that match made me realize that I'm a really bad sore loser.” MYOJIN lightly laughed, downing some more of their beverage. “How about you, Akira? I know you won your second championship, how's that?”
Now it was her time to think as they referenced her becoming the second-ever Hornet's Nest Champion from a place called Queen City Pro. Her eyes lowered as she carefully picked her words, “You know… I thought winning another belt and placing it on my wall was going to make me feel so powerful, so accomplished- But… not really. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy about it. I'm proud of it… Yet we were brought up being told that championships and awards mean absolutely everything, but… It doesn't.”
She was describing almost exactly how they felt, surprisingly so. MYOJIN attentively listened as she continued, “I think our weird, obsessive, and competitive nature runs in the family or something. You know, our Big Bro used to be just like us. Desperate to be on top and always pushing himself too hard to achieve some sort of perfection. It took him getting his leg broken in two different places in the octagon to realize doing that to himself just wasn't worth it… He seems happier these days, married with children… You think our careers are going to end like that?”
“No,” MYOJIN quickly responded, shaking their head. “Like you said, that need for validation runs in our family… But I think we can break that curse. I think we can learn from our mistakes and become better, we just need to find a balance. I'm not exactly okay, you aren't either. Though, everyone says the first step is recognizing the problem, right?”
Akira thought about it, “I never really thought about it that way… Cheers, to finding that balance then?” She raised her can in the air for a toast. Giving a little smile, MYOJIN met her halfway.
“Cheers.”
“You still really need to apologize to Caden, though.”
MYŌJIN simply took a sip of their drink, a bit of regret flashing in their eyes, “I know.”
They just didn't know if Caden was going to accept it.
Those sayings, the lesson that they taught had always meant very little to MYŌJIN. After all, tales and morals about humility were something that simply never applied to them. Their ego had always been a part of what fueled their ambition, for better or for worse. Why should they be humble in a world that treated such as weakness, where arrogance- knowing one's skill and being proud of it- was everything that they were taught? It was everything that they knew, and they usually were able to back up their words. Time and time again, the X-Factor Champion heard that saying about pride, but not once had they heeded its warning.
Until now.
Disputed Territory was supposed to be the moment where all the pieces fell into place. It was supposed to be the culmination of their journey, it finally seemed like it was their time. Finally. Building up a band of the best the company had to offer, leading them into battle as the last original of Project: Honor against the corruption that had infested their brand, they were to be the hero. The chosen one, even, to vanquish evil and fulfill their destiny as both X-Factor Champion and Grand Champion. A perfect fairy tale ending.
Except that's all that it was; a fairy tale. A romanticized dream, maybe even somewhat delusional in hindsight. Everything that MYŌJIN had believed would finally happen… didn't.
They weren't the hero that saved the day. Both villains got away with prizes. Meanwhile, the Shining Star had lost nothing… but gained nothing. Humiliated not once, but twice in the same night.
While Shelldrake snuck away with the top championship of Proving Ground, Asakura immediately became the next challenger to Billy Bennett- …MYŌJIN was still in the same spot. Everyone moved on quickly while they were frozen in their tracks.
Still X-Factor Champion, sure. It counted as the fifth successful defense under MYŌJIN's everlasting reign. Though, while they continued to tell themself that they had lost nor gained anything in an attempt to soften the blow, to comfort themself- MYŌJIM knew that they had still lost something. Maybe something more important than the championship they proudly carried:
Their confidence. Their belief in themself. The right to call themself the Ace as two people that they had once defeated before got their revenge on them. Maybe, it was karma in a sense. MYŌJIN didn't know, truthfully they didn't care.
They lost. Like they had at Bloodbath. Like they had in the Tag Team Tournament. Like when they had been injured earlier last year. Like when they lost Zane. Like they had lost Himari.
This time, MYŌJIN didn't know how to cope with that.
Their self-proclaimed destiny did not come to fruition, instead a harsh reminder that the Grand Championship was still just beyond their reach. Even after so much growth, it still eluded them.
What MYŌJIN had thought to be inevitable turned out to be avoided. The supposed hero didn't win. There was no happiness ever after.
…So, what now?
They kept asking themself that question as they walked down the backstage hallways. Head down, simply dragging the X-Factor Championship across the floor. They passed by person after person, almost like everyone else was in the background. Just moving static. Nothing mattered at that moment, they didn't want to talk to anyone. They didn't want to see anyone. They just wanted to be left alone.
Yet, of course, that wasn't going to happen as they felt an arm go to touch their shoulder. Halting in their tracks as they turned to look over to see who it was.
Caden Yung.
“Hey, Shouta… Are you okay?” He asked, visible concern on his face.
What kind of question was that? Did they look okay? After what had happened earlier that night, did they seem like they would be okay?
“I'm fine. Yep, fine. It's whatever. I'm going to clean up, sleep, then go home.” MYŌJIN rushed the words out, trying to avoid any conversation. It was a blatant lie, but they needed to get away. From Caden. From everything. Because they know if for just a single moment they didn't control their emotions, words that would later be regretful could slip out.
MYŌJIN kept walking, slinging the Championship across their shoulder carelessly. Not bothering to look over at Caden as he kept up, trying to look them in the eyes. “You're obviously not okay, and I mean- Listen, that's perfectly understandable. I know you're hurting and-”
“Caden. Please. I just… I want to go rest, I really can't do this right now.” They spoke, jaw tightening. The exasperation and impatience in their voice were evident. MYŌJIN did their best to repress the bitter, burning anger twisting in their stomach with a slightly uneven, shaky deep breath.
“Shouta, I… I just want you to know that I get it. I understand how you feel, you don't have to be alone right no-” Caden started, reaching out to gently touch their arm again.
This time MYŌJIN physically recoiled back, sharply exhaling. “Do you? Do you get it? Do you know exactly how I fucking feel right now?”
If there was nothing that they hated more, it was hearing those words. Caden took a step back in surprise, eyes slightly widening. It wasn't normal for MYŌJIN to raise their voice, especially at him.
I get it.
I know how you feel.
I understand.
Caden didn't. No one did. That attempt at empathy was nothing but shallow and cheap. As fucking comforting as hearing ‘thoughts and prayers’. “I don't want to hear it, Caden. Because you don't. You could NEVER understand. You think everything's just a joke, that just some words and a few cutesy liittle dumb quips will make me feel better. It DOESN'T, okay?”
“Dude, I'm just trying to…”
“Trying to what?” They snapped. “Give me another generic pep talk? ‘You did your best, Shouta, you'll just have to try again’. ‘It's going to be okay, Shouta, there's always next time’. ‘You're still the best champion, Shouta’. Is that what you're going to tell me? Save it. I'm so sick of you, of EVERYONE telling me the same tired couple of sentences thinking that'll do something.”
Everything began to boil over. MYŌJIN felt like their body could catch on fire as the frustration, the fatigue, the anger spread throughout them with each word. Their chest felt tight, and their heart thumped wildly, pounding against their chest.
“...And how could you know what it's like, anyway? After all, your entire career wasn't worth shit. You don't know what it's like to have high expectations of you for every single little thing, because no one expected a damn thing from you.” Growling out each word, their voice cracked as if pressure against floodgates started to break through.
Caden simply stood there, visibly shaken. Hurt, even as he blinked a few times while his lips hung apart. His eyebrows tilted upward. It only made MYŌJIN feel worse. Upset with him irrationally for daring to be wounded, upset for themself for treating him like that. They couldn't even stand to look at him any longer.
“..Hey, you.. You don't mean that, Sho-”
“Fuck! Just take a hint and go AWAY! Leave me ALONE, Caden!” MYŌJIN shouted, loud enough that it felt like it could echo. The entire hallway grew silent as everyone stopped to stare. They felt warm tears on their cheeks, pouring. Their face burned, flushed with so much anger. Feeling a sore lump in their throat as if they had eaten glass.
Realizing that everyone was looking at them, MYŌJIN paused. With looks of confusion and pity, everyone sees the so-called best champion of Project: Honor as a pathetic, emotional wreck. They were an embarrassment.
Before Caden could say anything else, MYŌJIN just turned and sprinted. They ran. Desperate to get as far away as they possibly could.
Great. Just great. As if the night couldn't get any worse, they had just possibly destroyed a friendship- and instead of apologizing, they just went running off like a coward.
So, again… What now?
I've been silent for a bit, haven’t I?
I know, I'm usually the talkative type. Well, that's an understatement, more like I sing my own praises constantly and usually justifiably. After all, I've done so much in this company that deserves praise. At this point, considering my title reign as the most dominant X-Factor Champion that has ever lived is still ongoing. Still the wrestler with the most matches in this company. Still the very last original that's still going and going strong…
Even in a match where my championship was co close to being lost, I still managed to hold onto it. Though, of course, a lot more happened at Disputed Territory than just that.
I didn't get the Grand Championship like I promised that I would. I'm the only person in that match that had gotten pinned twice. I won nothing, I gained nothing except a bitter taste in my mouth- To put it simply? I was embarrassed. In a way that I've never been before, and it stung. After that happened, I went into isolation. I struggled to cope with what had happened, and for those few weeks that Project: Honor didn't hold a show, I was going through a downward spiral.
I grew up being taught that wins and losses mattered above anything else. That gold, trophies, awards were always to be the end goal. Raised to believe that there was no other way to survive in life than being competitive at everything… And if you lost? That meant you were weak. Pathetic. Either I was to strive to be absolutely perfect, or I should give it up and walk away.
But professional wrestling? When I discovered professional wrestling, it was so different from anything else I had ever experienced. This sport is wild, chaotic, unpredictable, so different from the norms. Truly, this was perfect for me. I realized that I was meant for this… because it gave me the freedom to express myself as a fighter and as a person. For the first time I think in my life, I was competing not because of a paycheck bonus or to honor the legacy of my father, who I haven't seen in years-
I waa doing this because it was my passion. My lifeforce. My everything.
…Then that bad habit started finding its way back into my life. Maybe because after so long, I've just become wired that way to be so obsessed even to my own detriment. I started hungrily yearning for more success instead of my own personal happiness, and I lost focus of why I wrestled in the first place.
I'm a very sore loser. I was angry, angry that once again, the championship that I have aimed to reach since the very first Proving Ground show had eluded me. Angry that two men that I know I am more than capable of beating, considering I've accomplished just that. Angry that I was denied the right to finally be the face of Project: Honor. I blamed myself, I blamed everyone else too. I took my ball and ran with it to think for a while.
I didn't get the ending that I wanted… Now, what am I going to do?
Wins and losses matter in professional wrestling. Please never let someone tell you anything differently. In order to be successful at this sport, you have to actually be good at it. I lost that night, and after that, I didn't know what was next for me. I was- I am still a champion, but I didn't feel like one. I didn't talk to anyone for at least a week, and barely got any sleep because the match kept replaying over and over again in my head.
Then Gladiator Games arrived. At first, I was going to take the night off. I was almost going to walk away- I didn't want to face any challenges that night, I wanted to stay home and hide for as long as I possibly could… When I saw Brandon Hendrix issue a challenge to me for the X-Factor Championship, I almost said no. Then I started wondering to myself…
Are you about to run away? What the hell is wrong with you, Shouta?
When I won the X-Factor Championship, I promised to be a fighting champion. I promised to bring a level of prestige to this title that had never been seen before, even by the second-best wrestler to have ever held this belt, Indy Darling. I swore that I would take it away from Lance Williams and make it worth something again because this belt and I have had a long history ever since I was in the tournament made to crown the inaugural champion. I didn't win that tournament. I lost the second tournament when this title had been vacated as well, but do you know what?
I didn't give up.
It took months, more than a FULL year even to reach this belt since my first chance. I never gave up, I kept scratching and clawing, I kept fighting defiantly against everything that was in my way and it finally paid off. I finally made this mine and now this championship has become synonymous with me. This title is a part of me.
And I owe it to myself to keep going. I owe it to the Project: Honor faithful because I told them that I would never let them down.
The Shining Star is far from ready to let the X-Factor Championship go. That just so happens to be very, very unfortunate for one Hendrix, though, isn't it?
The old local venue that was once known as a local Californian indie had now been completely turned around as the hangout space for the group that MYOJIN had banded together. Though even then, MYOJIN found themself alone in it- with no one else around. The lights were on, but the place gave off such a sense of loneliness without anyone being in there. It seemed… bigger without an audience crowding it up, or the people that the Shining Star had befriended being around. They leaned against the apron of the squared circle which sat in the center of the building.
MYOJIN needed something comforting. Somewhere that they felt they could relax and contemplate. Their new home didn't feel just like home yet for them, truthfully, the X-Factor Champion hadn't been able to think of anywhere else to go.
It made them reminisce. To think of a time in their life before Project: Honor. Before they had made it to the big leagues in wrestling. A happier time. When wrestling came so much easier to them, when starting out felt like opening up an adventurous and bright new chapter in their life. Then, it was more like harmless fun than anything else. A hobby, a childhood dream, something to scratch off a bucket list. Yet, for better or for worse, it was their life now. Every moment felt like it counted. Every match, win or loss, statistics, records, and reigns felt so important. Everything mattered.
Too much. Even before Disputed Territory, the stress of trying to uphold some status that in the end meant very little had been dragging them down.
MYŌJIN had to be the person with the most matches in the company. MYŌJIN had to be the person with the most wins, the longest title reign. There was a need, an obsessive craving to break every record they could think of. Why were they like that? Why did they so badly need to establish themself as the workhorse?
What was the fucking point of it?
MYŌJIN had a passion for professional wrestling, they were competitive- but unlike everyone else, to their own detriment, it seemed. It felt like that any moment they weren't on top, that they didn't feel like the most important and most powerful person- that no one would care about them. Were they really that self-conscious?
Probably. Maybe they were just scared of becoming the thing that they accused so many others: irrelevant.
Regardless, it had taken its toll. And they didn't know how much more they could take, pushing their limits mentally and physically just because they cared so much about what others seemed to think. Always needing approval, always needing praise, even if it came at the cost of their own health. Their own satisfaction. Their own life.
It was almost funny. Scoffing incredulously at the lengths of their ego, MYŌJIN's faint grin quickly faded once they heard the sound of the venue's doors opening from across the room. They turned, looking to see who had entered.
“It'd be nice if you learned how to answer your calls.” Michael Bishop's gruff voice uttered with a hint of annoyance as he walked across the room. “Makin' us come all the way here to find you.”
Liz Karlson, Bishop's partner in BFG Division, was right next to him. The one-half of the Tag Team Champions placed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Been trying to get ahold of you for, what, a few weeks now?”
MYŌJIN was surprised. Blinking unsurely as he stopped in front of them, “I- Uh, yeah.. I'm sorry about that.”
“Damn right, you are If we're going to do this whole friendship and magic shit, it'd at least be nice to have the ‘leader’ not go hiding and sulking.” Soon followed the voice of James Raymond, who didn't seem very much amused as he entered from a different entrance with his arms crossed.
“Why are all of you guys here?”
“Because we figured that you probably shouldn't be on your own having a pity party about what had happened.” Emmanuelle soon followed, MYŌJIN's own on-and-off-again partner. Probably the closest friend they had in a long time. She gave a small smile, which knowing her- was probably the most friendly look they were going to get from her. “...Caden told me about how things went, that you weren't doing well… I guess we all had the same idea about coming to check up on you.”
Caden. Even after losing their shit at him, he was still looking out for them? Remembering that night after cooling down had only caused them to feel worse, knowing that he cared enough to try and make sure they had someone to talk to- even if it wasn't him. MYŌJIN knew they had to apologize eventually, but… They weren't sure if they could look him in the eyes, if an apology would be enough. It hadn't been the first time that they had ever mistreated Caden without thinking, the fact that he didn't show up himself was telling. Maybe… Maybe he finally had enough of them.
Not that they could blame him for that. Looking toward the four, “Okay… How did all of you know that I was going to be here?”
“Well…. That'd be because of me.” Out came the Shining Star's blue-haired mentor, Tara. Tara Fenix. A little while into her pregnancy by now as she grinned.
“So, you called all of us up here for… what? To give MYŌ a hug and tell them everything's gonna be okay?” Raymond spoke somewhat skeptically, earning a slight glare from Emmanuelle. It was clear to MYŌJIN that despite all of them now being allies, it would take time for them to all trust each other- to trust them as well, in Raymond's case.
“Well, when you put it like that… It sounds like everyone's time is getting wasted, but I think this is pretty important.” Walking toward the group, Tara's smile lightly faded into a more stern look. “If we're going to be a team and take this seriously, we all have to be in sync. We cannot be just a bunch of random people thrown together like True Society or Big Drip Worldwide. A part of being a cohesive, successful unit is making sure everyone's head is in the game… And right now? MYŌJIN, here, hasn't been exactly in the best headspace.”
Frowning, they ran through their hair while thinking of what to say as the other looked at them, waiting for them to speak. MYŌJIN sighed, briefly averting their gaze before turning toward the others. “I.. I owe all of you an apology. I know that you expected better out of me, I know that I promised that I was going to be Grand Champion- and I failed. I let myself down. I let everyone down, then I ran off and didn't talk to anyone for a few days. Some leader, right..?”
Biting their lip, MYŌJIN's eyes lowered. ”If any of you think I'm not fit for this… Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not as reliable as I thought I was… I don't know-”
“Oh, shut up with that, alright?” Bishop interrupted, shaking his head. “I think I can speak for all of us when I say that no one decided to work with you because we cared about being Grand Champion. Sure, it'd be nice for one of us to hold that belt. Emmanuelle might, if that's the prize she won from that match- who knows.”
Walking up toward the X-Factor Champion, Bishop shook his head, “But it's not all just about gold, MYŌ… When you helped me and Liz out when those fuckers tried to catch us lacking- that let me know if I could trust you. I didn't join ya because I was worried about being some dominant group. When you said you wanted to make Project: Honor a better company, I looked in your eyes and I saw that you meant it. I think we all did.”
“Kid, losses are a part of this sport. That's just how wrestling is, you didn't win. Things didn't go your way, that sucks- Y'know something? Things haven't gone my way plenty of times, you know how much I've had to fight to get where I am right now- but it wasn't easy. I failed, hell- I've screwed up and cost myself sometimes… But do you know what I did every time? I didn't give up. I kept going, kept trying, kept fighting. That's what it's all about… So ya got knocked down at that Pay Per View, shit happens, but are you going to stay down or get back up?” Bishop lightly jabbed a finger to their chest, MYŌJIN instinctively wanted to argue- as they had with Caden, but… they couldn't. Because his words made sense.
Of course, the bitter and upset part of them still wanted to wallow in pity. To still be angry and let their emotions eat away at them... But MYŌJIN also knew that Michael was right.
“He's right,” Tara spoke. “You know that I've always rooted for you, and I always will. I have faith in you.”
“I've seen you come back from worse, honestly.” Emmanuelle gave a playful snort. “It's not the end of the world, champ.”
“It'd be lame as shit if you just started getting mopey, I prefer it when you're a smug jerk.” MYŌJIN couldn't tell if Liz was making a joke or being entirely serious.
“...You know what I think, so don't make me regret it.” Raymond bluntly announced.
They all… still had faith in them?
Even after MYŌJIN had talked about such a big game, about how they were going to lead Project: Honor into a new era, about being the first person to hold both the X-Factor and Grand Championships simultaneously… When they had failed to do both of those things, they assumed that everyone would be disappointed. That they would be looked down upon, ridiculed, laughed at, and seen as weak.. Yet that wasn't the case at all.
MYŌJIN had misjudged the five people standing around them. It probably said more about themself that they assumed the others would think that way.
Taking a deep breath, the X-Factor Champion looked up and nodded. “I'm going to do better from here on out. All of you are right, I need to get focused again.”
“Good! Because I had a question… What are we gonna be called exactly?” Liz spoke up, everyone turned to her curiously and with a little confusion. “What? Every group needs a name! True Society had one. Big Drip Productions, despite how shitty that sound, had one. So what's our name gonna be?”
Then everyone turned back to MYŌJIN. “...Why are you looking at me?”
“Well, you're the one who recruited everyone. It's your call,” Emmanuelle noted.
Pausing, the Shining Star thought to themself while placing a hand on their chin. Truthfully, it hadn't been something that they had considered until it was now brought up to them. A lightbulb finally went off as their brown eyes brightened…
“I think I might have an idea.”
I'm not an idiot, Hendrix. I know exactly why you took your chance to challenge me at this upcoming Proving Ground. It's easy to see, you saw that for the first time in a long time that I took a singles loss at Disputed Territory, and you figured that if you take your shot right now while you can, it'll pay off. Maybe you believe that I'm at my lowest point, not ready or in the right mental space- So it'll make your shot at my championship much easier. I mean, you'd be an idiot not to. You're better at talking shit than actually wrestling given I can take an easy look at your record and see that you've managed nothing of late. Of course, you're going to do your best to get in my head and fuck with me. I wouldn't blame you. It's something that I would do if I was against someone who just took a major loss.
The thing is, Hendrix, right now? I'm not feeling any doubt. I'm not feeling the least bit worried.
I have never felt more determined, more certain in my life.
I can promise you, honey. You're going to be disappointed with reality.
Before then, I would've walked into a match with you and immediately dismiss you as a real challenge. I mean, after all, you've lost more matches than you've won and the ones that you have WON were against mostly nobodies. The only championship that you have ever held. I could talk about everything that you've done wrong, everything that you've failed at, everything you've lost. Maybe the fact that you haven't managed to accomplish anything besides beating Elena DeDraca once a long time ago. You've never been someone that has ever been on my radar, someone that I never truly cared to pay any attention to because you never gave me a reason to. It's not like you were ever going to win an X-Factor title shot on your own, so the moment you had the chance to challenge me for this belt- you did.
And I'm glad you did, Hendrix. I'm glad that you're giving me a way to vent, to release all the pent-up anger and frustration, and target one person with it. You assumed that you were going to be facing someone who wasn't going to be focused or prepared for another title defense. You thought wrong.
Not winning the Grand Championship was a much-needed wake-up call for yours truly. I had forgotten why I was doing this, why professional wrestling had mattered so much, why the X-Factor Championship had mattered so much to me. Project: Honor is my home, it's everything that I had ever wanted. This title represents every struggle that I've had in this company, every missed opportunity that I either failed to capitalize on or simply wasn't lucky enough. I may not be the greatest wrestler here, I might not be the Ace of Project: Honor like I wanted so badly to be-...
But that's okay, I have and will learn from the mistakes I've made. I was so consumed with the idea of reaching perfection, so consumed with the idea of being the savior of this place and molding it into my own image. So obsessed with all the records and stats to make my name look good, I was so focused on the idea of creating a legacy- That I forgot how to live in the present. How to focus on the here and now, how to live in the moment. I'm through fighting for just the fame and glory.
I'm doing this for myself. Not to prove anything to anyone, especially not you, but MYSELF. And that's more than can be said about you, isn't, Hendrix?
A grown man that calls himself something as stupid as “Based God”, constantly trying his hardest to be adored by the fans when he has the charisma of a wet piece of cardboard. Always trying to establish himself as a dominant force to be reckoned with when the only thing that he's managed to prove is that he's mediocrity personified. I didn't accept your challenge because I wanted a good fight, I accepted your challenge because I need to make an example out of you.
Everything you do, every corny line you say sounds so fake. You lack authenticity as much as you lack consistency. Hendrix will say anything that he thinks will make him look good to others and every time those words have ended up backfiring. Remember when you said the Legacy Champion wasn't a good wrestler? Then she humiliated you, and that's nothing new for you, is it? A chip on your shoulder, pretending that you haven't reached your full potential and that you are capable of more- When every single time, you've failed to show that.
But despite that? Despite me being a better wrestler than you, despite me being ten-times more likable, and despite me being an actual champion- We aren't that different, Hendrix.
Both of us had been striving for validation, to be seen as something greater. We both have wanted all of the accolades, all of the recognition, the congratulations- the spotlight. When I set my sights on the Grand Championship, I wanted it so badly because of those reasons. I wanted to be the first person to hold two singles championships at once so people would be forced to love me. I grew up in a household where I was made to feel inferior to my siblings, that I was never good enough, and that I would never be able to reach their level of skill. So the moment that I saw the chance to FINALLY win my first World Title? It was all I could think about, and that cost me. It humbled me.
Now I see you staring at my X-Factor Championship in the exact same way, and I'm going to break your heart just like I had mine broken. I'm going to teach you the lesson that I was forced to learn, or at least I'm going to try and get it through that thick forehead of yours.
Though I doubt you'll listen because with every other defeat, you've never stopped to try and think about why you lost. You keep regurgitating the same dumb catchphrases and yelling that you're “Brandon Fucking Hendrix” as if anyone cares to look at your own flaws and try to grow from each defeat. That's where the real difference lies in between us, Hendrix.
I may be arrogant, I may be flawed, I may not be in the position that I want to be, but I'm still leagues ahead of you. One setback is not going to start a chain reaction of my downfall, and you are NOT going to succeed by using me as a stepping stone. I learn and I adapt, I overcome- no matter how many tries it takes. One has to wonder about you though, when you inevitably fail to win the X-Factor Title from me, are you going to grow from it? Are you going to become a better wrestler?
Or are you going to continue to be the joke to everyone's punchline?
Disputed Territory has shown me that I still have a lot of maturing to do, and one day I will finally reach the top of the mountain- but the X-Factor Championship is now a part of my soul, it represents everything of my career- the pain and the struggle, the victories, the journey that has led me to this exact moment. And if you think for ONE second that you're going to take away the belt that I've fiercely defended with my life for more than half a year at this point?
You're delusional, but everyone knew that about you already.
I will walk in as X-Factor Champion, I will leave as X-Factor Champion. Sorry, not sorry.
“Hey, can you be careful with that stuff?”
“I don't have to help you, ya know. It'd be nice if you were a little more grateful- plus, what the hell are you even carrying in this? It's so heavy!”
“Oh, come on, it's not that bad. You're just whining.”
Typical banter between siblings, older and younger. MYOJIN's sister, Akira- who was better known by her wrestling alias; YOKAI, carried a box that was labeled ‘Personal Items’. MYOJIN themself carried two boxes underneath their arms marked ‘Clothes’ out of the back of a hauling truck, walking up a yard to the opened front door of their new home. It was two stories Mediterranean style, fairly big, and rather expensive looking; the place MYOJIN had found to live in after moving out of the apartment they had spent five years in. Taking a moment to stop and stare at their new place, they couldn't help the grin that started to form on their face.
It was… almost unreal, in a way. Finally living in a home they owned, not rented. It was a cathartic feeling to see how far they had come as not only a wrestler but a person. Becoming financially stable enough to be able to buy somewhere lovely, in California, of all places- felt like a major accomplishment. MYOJIN felt that it was like a restart, a new chapter in their life ever since being broken up with their former fiancee, Himari. Living in a place that they once had shared with another person had suddenly made it feel so… lonely. Something that had been affecting their mental health for a rather long time. It was their way of finally moving on.
“So, is that everything?” Akira asked as she set the box in the spacious living room, which was also filled with basic furniture and more boxes. Turning back toward the haul truck, seeing it was empty, MYOJIN nodded.
“Yep, that looks like it should be all of it.” Though, as they looked outside, they were slightly caught off guard by the view.
The Californian sun was setting, the once blue sky turning fiery hues of orange, red, and purple. The clouds became outlined with a golden shimmer from the giant star in front of the Earth's dimming radiance. The light darkened the palm trees into silhouettes. “Hey, Akira, want to sit on the patio for a little bit?”
“Sure, why not?”
The two pulled out some chairs and sat in the backyard, looking up at the beautiful sky. Though Akira had brought something with her, a pack of flavored light beers, sitting the beverages down in the middle between their chairs. MYOJIN raised an eyebrow with light surprise as she took one out and cracked it open, “What, were you just saving those for the perfect occasion?”
“I got them for you, dummy. Think of it as a little housewarming gift after a looooong day.” Their sister then took a sip and wrinkled her nose lightly. “The drinks are, uh… a little warm though.”
Taking one of their own, MYOJIN cracked the lid open and sipped from it as well. “So… How are you feeling?” Akira suddenly asked.
Turning toward her curiously, they were slightly unsure of what she meant. “Feeling about what?”
“I dunno… About everything, you know?” She responded, lightly shrugging her shoulders. “About finally getting your own house, about everything that's been going on. For a little, while it was hard to get ahold of you, I just want to know what's been up with you.”
MYOJIN paused, lightly brushing their hair out of their face while crossing a leg over their knee. “I've… kind of been asking myself that. That match at Project: Honor really screwed with me for days, for weeks even… I couldn't get over that loss, I beat myself up over it. I even yelled at Caden-”
“You what?”
“Akira, I already feel bad enough about it.” MYOJIN quickly retorted, knowing she was probably about to scold them. A few moments passed as they rubbed the side of their face.
“For the first time, I think that I'm able to recognize that… maybe I'm not okay. Not okay as I should be. Feeling like I always had to be the best, that if I wasn't undisputedly on top of everything, then I'm nothing more than a failure. Losing that match made me realize that I'm a really bad sore loser.” MYOJIN lightly laughed, downing some more of their beverage. “How about you, Akira? I know you won your second championship, how's that?”
Now it was her time to think as they referenced her becoming the second-ever Hornet's Nest Champion from a place called Queen City Pro. Her eyes lowered as she carefully picked her words, “You know… I thought winning another belt and placing it on my wall was going to make me feel so powerful, so accomplished- But… not really. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy about it. I'm proud of it… Yet we were brought up being told that championships and awards mean absolutely everything, but… It doesn't.”
She was describing almost exactly how they felt, surprisingly so. MYOJIN attentively listened as she continued, “I think our weird, obsessive, and competitive nature runs in the family or something. You know, our Big Bro used to be just like us. Desperate to be on top and always pushing himself too hard to achieve some sort of perfection. It took him getting his leg broken in two different places in the octagon to realize doing that to himself just wasn't worth it… He seems happier these days, married with children… You think our careers are going to end like that?”
“No,” MYOJIN quickly responded, shaking their head. “Like you said, that need for validation runs in our family… But I think we can break that curse. I think we can learn from our mistakes and become better, we just need to find a balance. I'm not exactly okay, you aren't either. Though, everyone says the first step is recognizing the problem, right?”
Akira thought about it, “I never really thought about it that way… Cheers, to finding that balance then?” She raised her can in the air for a toast. Giving a little smile, MYOJIN met her halfway.
“Cheers.”
“You still really need to apologize to Caden, though.”
MYŌJIN simply took a sip of their drink, a bit of regret flashing in their eyes, “I know.”
They just didn't know if Caden was going to accept it.