Post by serranopoblano on May 25, 2022 22:58:49 GMT -5
Ever the ace reporter, Crystal Ward catches up to Serrano Poblano as he's leaving his Hotter Than Hell Test Kitchen after another long day of culinary experimentation.
CRYSTAL WARD: Serrano! Care to tell us why you've challenged Bonnie Blade to a fight in this week's Gladiator Games?
SERRANO POBLANO: Wait...I did what?
CRYSTAL WARD: Um...you issued a challenge to Bonnie Blade, daughter of wrestling legend and 27-time Triple A Champion, John Blade.
SERRANO POBLANO: Well, fuck beans. Why in the hell would I do that?
CRYSTAL WARD: That's...what I was hoping you could tell our viewers...
SERRANO POBLANO: Well, Crystal. I can only think of two possible explanations. One; those were not portabella mushrooms as I originally suspected. Two; Guy Fieri is still out there trying to fuck my life up simply because I'm a better and more handsome chef than he is.
CRYSTAL WARD: Sooo...you didn't challenge Bonnie? Are you still going to fight her?
SERRANO POBLANO: Well, duh. Of course I'm gonna fight her. Bonnie's dad took away my Triple A Title! She's also a filthy skank! And if there's one thing I hate, it's when an incredibly literate wordsmith has a daughter with his first cousin after an innocent summer romance and she turns out to be a complete and total skank! Bonnie Blade...I'm gonna fry your tits, bitch!
CRYSTAL WARD: Wow. That was...vulgar. For Project: Honor, this has been Crystal Ward with Serrano Poblano. Now back to your regularly scheduled program of that Twitch guy begging you to watch his stream.
