The Promised Land Playhouse: Episode Five
May 25, 2022 18:20:56 GMT -5
CallMeRobert, bennett, and 1 more like this
Post by Mister Wright on May 25, 2022 18:20:56 GMT -5
The Promised Land Playhouse
Episode Five
"Saran"
Which, by the way, looks like Barbie's Recording Booth with all the pink and plastic. It's working though so that's something.
We come upon Mister Wright as he's dancing around and hand movementing in front of the pink and purple microphone that's been set up in this garage. The music's so loud that he doesn't even notice us approach which give us an opportunity to get a look at his attire because he's not wearing what he usually does. No, he's feeling a little different today.
Mister Wright's much more colorful than usual as he's rocking a pair of pink and purple Reebok Pump sneakers, though instead of basketballs for pumps there are big smiley faces. He's got on a pair of large denim jorts. There's a big pink t-shirt on his body that says 'U CAN'T ABC ME' on the sleeve and 'PROFESSOR OF HUGOLOGY' across the back of it, both of these in stylized purple letters. There's a black baseball cap twisted to the side on his head, the brim's pink to match the bulk of his outfit and the words: 'PLAYHOUSE GANG' can be made out. As he continues to bop around to the music, a gold chain can be seen slinging and slanging around his neck. A moment of slow motion and awesome lighting department antics makes it possible to see the gold name chain charm that reads: MC WRIGHT.
It looks like Mister (or MC) Wright is about ready to drop some MAJOR HEAT on that mic when he turns to grab his headphones. That is, of course, when he notices us.
MC Wright: Oh! Hello! I --
MC Wright holds up a finger and runs over to the stereo to turn down the music.
MC Wright: That's better! Hi Everyone! Welcome back to the Promised Land Playhouse!
There's a pause for cheers and applause as always.
MC Wright: Or, well, I guess I should say: Yo! My Homies! What it be like, doggs! Y'all back up in the Promised Land Crib! Word!
MC Wright makes some very cringe hand signs that look like he's trying to spell out Playhouse or something but it just looks horrible.
MC Wright: My baddles! Y'all don't be knowin' how stressed I been since losin' the Playhouse Championship, you dig? It's been hard out here since my favorite toy got stolen by a leprechaun. But it's all fine and all dandy! You feelin' me?!
No, Mister Wright. Nobody's probably feeling you at this moment. But! If we're doing this, we're doing this. Lord Have Mercy on us all.
MC Wright: So, I bet you peeps is mad wonderlanding why I be talkin' so cool and fresh, right? That's because I'm neck deep in THE CULTURE, my frie-- my homies! I gotta' stay on that ABC Tip if I'm gonna' be goin' menudo-y-menudo with the GREATEST. MOTHER. LOVIN'. BIG. MATCH. HAVIN'. HE'S THE CAPTAIN NOWIN'. AIN'T NO STOPPIN'. BOTTLE POPPIN'. 3 SECOND TAN MAN HIMSELF...
MC Wright swings some hands to the side to point in the direction of a giant poster on the wall.
MC Wright: JOHN BLADE!
The John Blade Poster winks and we pan back over to MC Wright before anything else gets weird up in here.
MC Wright: That's right, Playhouse Gang! I, MC Wright, will be welcoming JIZOHN BLIZADE into the Playhouse for some FUN and GAMES! That's right, the DOCTOR OF THUGANOMICS and the PROFESSOR OF HUGOLOGY will be participating in this year's GLADYS GATOR GAMES! And believe me when I tell ya', Gladys is so ready! She's been craving someone new to play with ever since Sparky left us.
There's a moment of somberness that comes over MC Wright's face as we pan with his eye line towards the pile of bloodstained dog toys and a dog cage that looks like it was bit through or something.
MC Wright: Sparky! We miss you, dog!
MC Wright taps his chest and points a finger to the sky while his other hand holds up a 40oz Root Beer and he pours some out on the ground for Sparky.
MC Wright: Life goes on. See you at the crossroads...
MC Wright tosses the bottle out of frame and cheers right back up.
MC Wright: So like I was jus' sayin', to better accommodate for the arrival of JOHN BLADE to the Playhouse, we've been doin' some fresh renovations. Which I can't really show you yet cuz Booba The Builder Babe and her crew are putting the finishing touches on. But! What I can tell you all is what I've been doing to get myself ready! Do you wanna' know?!
The camera does that head nod thing that we're sure all the Playhouse Gang are also doing at home!
MC Wright: Great! I mean-- dope!
He's still trying to get all this slang right.
MC Wright: So I don't know that much about The GOAT as they call him but I do know a couple of things. I know he's from THE HOOD. Which is super dope because I the Playhouse is only in a NEIGHBORhood. So I'm lookin' forward to The Bladeth teachin' me all about his hometown. Or should I say, home hood?
MC Wright dabs on the haters. Dear lord.
MC Wright: I also know that he's a super big time music person! He's what we call... a Rapper. Oh hey, maybe that can be the Wordizzle of the Dayizzle? Let's try it on!
The word of the day pops up on the bottom of the screen in pink letters, spelling out: R - A - P - P - E - R.
MC Wright: Now, to all my little homies and homiettes, a rapper is a person or persons that speak in a very fluid and lyrical manner at all times. They are inherently cool but can be so much more depending on how much BET they have soaked up over the years. Rappers come in all shapes, sizes, and styles... like back to school shopping! But if I were to wager a guess, I'd say that John Blade has got to be the best rapper I've ever heard! And I should know, I just started listening to rap music yesterday!
MC Wright pauses for some laughter to be inserted because that was definitely a joke. Honest. Ahem, moving on....
MC Wright: And because John Blade's coming over for the Gladys Gator Games, I thought it'd be pretty fun to challenge him to a RAP BATTLE. So I've been practicing. I think I'm getting pretty good because I can rhyme a lot of words now! Also, the other thing I learned about being a rapper is that you have to dress the part...
MC Wright grins and holds his hands out while he spins around slowly to show off the outfit that we got a good look at earlier.
MC Wright: This gear is fresh, right? So fresh? So clean?
We get some more affirmative camera movement action to help MC Wright out a bit.
MC Wright: And I don't know if you're watchin' this, John! I hope so! But as you can see, I got the look down! And I got the music down! And I'm gonna' get the rappin' down too! And by the time you get here for the Gladys Gator Games? The Playhouse is gonna' be, I think you say, on like Donkey Kong! I can't wait to make a new friend out of you, John Blade! I have so much super dope and super hype games for us to play that you're gonna' be funned to death! Never a dull moment for The Bladeth!
A window on the Promised Land Playhouse opens up and Booba the Builder Babe sticks her chest out of the window first and then her head pops out. So much cleavage going on in this construction worker outfit that her name makes complete sense.
Booba the Builder Babe: Hey yo! Wright! Get youse ass in here! Where ya' want this frickin' tank, huh?
MC Wright: One sec, I'll be right in.
Booba the Builder Babe starts the process of trying to get her boobas back into the Playhouse but it's a bit of a struggle. Also, her hammer keeps getting caught on the window but she'll figure it out. We're pulling back over MC Wright now. Get it?
MC Wright: Okay, Lil Homies and Lil Homiettes. I gotta' get back to work. Still got a lot of fish to fry before JOHN BLADE gets here. And a whole squadda of rhymes to bust. You know my steez, dogg! Just make sure all y'all come bizack for the GG Games! They gonna' be a riot! MC WRIGHT! OUTTIE 9000!
MC Wright heads over to the window to try and help Booba the Builder Babe get her chest back inside, there's a lot of pushing going on. While that's going on, we kind of pan over to the garage and on top of a cardboard box that says Billy's Room, Mister Wright's cell phone is vibrating. The screen flashes on with the name of the caller: R.
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