Post by Ratball Slade on Apr 24, 2022 22:29:47 GMT -5
The year is 1990 and the next Christ was just about to be born. Unfortunately he was absorbed in the womb by another that would come in his place...
DOCTOR: PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!
MOTHER: GGGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH~!!!!!!
The screaming stops as the mother silently weeps from the tremendous pain she had just been through. Amidst the pain she begins to hear the sweet sound of her twelve pound baby.
MOTHER: Let me see him, I must know what I just went through for.
The doctor carefully carries the newborn to the mother and hands her the hefty baby.
DOCTOR: You have a very healthy looking baby boy.
The mother excitedly takes the baby from the doctor but her expression immediately sours as she sees the child.
MOTHER: What is this hideous thing? I asked for a baby not some goddamn ground meat. You can have it. I don't want it. Dumb meatball looking baby..
The doctor seems shocked by the woman's attitude towards her baby but decided it may be best to keep the baby away from the her.
DOCTOR: We'll keep him in a separate room for now so you can get your rest...
The woman begins throwing a fit while the doctor carries the baby away. The baby does not cry. He simply squirms trying to break free from the arms of captivity but his small (yet unusually large) baby body would not allow him. Maybe one day.
The camera goes from darkness to panning out showing Meatball in a jail cell. A local reporter from Meatball's hometown of Des Moines is trying, and failing, to conduct an interview.
MEATBALL: And that's how I remember being born.
REPORTER: Okay... I was asking why you beat up that old man?
MEATBALL: Wait, I beat someone up?
The reporter looks through the jail cell bars in confusion.
REPORTER: Yes... That's why you're in here.
MEATBALL: Oh right... well I'll tell you what. You want a job? Might pay better than that sissy reporter job you got.
The reporter just shrugs going along with Meatball.
MEATBALL: Well as you can see I am currently indisposed. I have this video thing I have to shoot for the company I work for. If you just send them this after I say a few words about my upcoming opponent, I may be able to get you a job. They are down an interviewer hehe...
The reporter scratches his head not quite understanding what Meatball is asking of him.
REPORTER: Sure I guess? What did you need to say?
MEATBALL: Oh not much, I've been a bit busy these past two weeks. I guess if I'm just improvising here it'd be something along the lines of...
Meatball pauses to get into shoot mode, taking the reporter off guard when he does.
MEATBALL: TYLER CAGE, LET ME TELL YOU A LIL SOMETHING ABOUT ME BROTHER! I CAME OUT THE WOMB BIG AND BAD! Sound good so far?
The reporter takes a big gulp and nods along.
MEATBALL: Oh, good. So Cage, I may be locked up in a cage myself, but there ain't no cage I can't break out of. That sure as hell includes you! So you better watch your ass cause I'm coming for the gold and ain't nobody gonna stop me!
Meatball begins to exert himself trying to pry the bars apart but gets winded rather quickly and gives up.
MEATBALL: *huff huff*... Alright, that's all I got. *huff*... I think I hit the main talking points. Just send that to the Project: Honor guys and they'll get it all taken care of. They got the logo and everything to put on the post segment black screen.
The reporter stands up ready to leave Meatball, the thought of his proposal now intriguing him.
REPORTER: Right... Well thank you for your time, mister Meatball.
Meatball does a small nod.
REPORTER: I will look into your, "Project: Honor" thing and let you know.
The video is quickly cut to black as the reporter turns off his camera quickly followed by a "Big Bad Inc." logo.
DOCTOR: PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!
MOTHER: GGGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH~!!!!!!
The screaming stops as the mother silently weeps from the tremendous pain she had just been through. Amidst the pain she begins to hear the sweet sound of her twelve pound baby.
MOTHER: Let me see him, I must know what I just went through for.
The doctor carefully carries the newborn to the mother and hands her the hefty baby.
DOCTOR: You have a very healthy looking baby boy.
The mother excitedly takes the baby from the doctor but her expression immediately sours as she sees the child.
MOTHER: What is this hideous thing? I asked for a baby not some goddamn ground meat. You can have it. I don't want it. Dumb meatball looking baby..
The doctor seems shocked by the woman's attitude towards her baby but decided it may be best to keep the baby away from the her.
DOCTOR: We'll keep him in a separate room for now so you can get your rest...
The woman begins throwing a fit while the doctor carries the baby away. The baby does not cry. He simply squirms trying to break free from the arms of captivity but his small (yet unusually large) baby body would not allow him. Maybe one day.
The camera goes from darkness to panning out showing Meatball in a jail cell. A local reporter from Meatball's hometown of Des Moines is trying, and failing, to conduct an interview.
MEATBALL: And that's how I remember being born.
REPORTER: Okay... I was asking why you beat up that old man?
MEATBALL: Wait, I beat someone up?
The reporter looks through the jail cell bars in confusion.
REPORTER: Yes... That's why you're in here.
MEATBALL: Oh right... well I'll tell you what. You want a job? Might pay better than that sissy reporter job you got.
The reporter just shrugs going along with Meatball.
MEATBALL: Well as you can see I am currently indisposed. I have this video thing I have to shoot for the company I work for. If you just send them this after I say a few words about my upcoming opponent, I may be able to get you a job. They are down an interviewer hehe...
The reporter scratches his head not quite understanding what Meatball is asking of him.
REPORTER: Sure I guess? What did you need to say?
MEATBALL: Oh not much, I've been a bit busy these past two weeks. I guess if I'm just improvising here it'd be something along the lines of...
Meatball pauses to get into shoot mode, taking the reporter off guard when he does.
MEATBALL: TYLER CAGE, LET ME TELL YOU A LIL SOMETHING ABOUT ME BROTHER! I CAME OUT THE WOMB BIG AND BAD! Sound good so far?
The reporter takes a big gulp and nods along.
MEATBALL: Oh, good. So Cage, I may be locked up in a cage myself, but there ain't no cage I can't break out of. That sure as hell includes you! So you better watch your ass cause I'm coming for the gold and ain't nobody gonna stop me!
Meatball begins to exert himself trying to pry the bars apart but gets winded rather quickly and gives up.
MEATBALL: *huff huff*... Alright, that's all I got. *huff*... I think I hit the main talking points. Just send that to the Project: Honor guys and they'll get it all taken care of. They got the logo and everything to put on the post segment black screen.
The reporter stands up ready to leave Meatball, the thought of his proposal now intriguing him.
REPORTER: Right... Well thank you for your time, mister Meatball.
Meatball does a small nod.
REPORTER: I will look into your, "Project: Honor" thing and let you know.
The video is quickly cut to black as the reporter turns off his camera quickly followed by a "Big Bad Inc." logo.
