Post by gothmother on Dec 30, 2020 9:19:03 GMT -5
BEAUTIFUL DISASTER [THROUGH TEARS AND LAUGHTER]
[Denver, Colorado] [Unbreakable Resolution Aftermath]
She was feeling fine. Well, that was not even covering it- Elena DeDraca was euphoric. A little something that only a real fighter could understand. Before going into a fight Adrenaline was pumping through your veins. With every beat of your heart it felt as if pure electricity was filling your body. The exact same feeling that helped you push through painful situations, or possible injuries. She’d been there, she’d done that.
When stepping back through the curtain she felt a few hands touching her, here and there congratulations being outspoken. If anyone asked at this moment who she was passing by, it was impossible to tell. They were there, but they weren’t. Not till her eyes fell over the little crowd- meeting the ones of her husband. He tried his best to look cheerful, but she knew him better than that. There was this significant wrinkle between his eyebrows, the one she had seen too often. She wouldn’t deny that her body was hurting, but Elena was the type to suck it up and walk on. Tonight was no different. She straightened her shoulders and held her head up high, showing her best smile.
“Did you see me out there? Took the boy for a ride he won’t forget.”
Mark reached out to run his fingertips over the side of her face, but hesitated. It was slightly swollen and damn sure a bruise was forming underneath that pale skin. Before he could pull back though she had grabbed his hand, putting it on her cheek.
Keep up your poker face.
“You’ve surpassed my greatest expectations just like always, love. I am very proud of you… “
“But? And please don’t pretend that there isn’t a but. I have seen that look millions of times by now. Not only when you look at me, but when you watch Austin’s stuff too. So spit it out, darling.”
Busted! and he knew it. In his usual manner he rubbed the back of his neck, almost apologetic. Once more his eyes observed her from head to toes, obviously trying to figure out the real damage. It was pointless to ask how she felt because the answer wouldn’t be accurate. Instead he pulled her in a gentle hug, not minding the blood or sweat. Kissing her head, ignoring the messy hair.
“I learnt a long time ago that it is pointless trying to lead you on, even if sometimes it would be for the better. There were a few moments in that match where I was ready to run out and just strike the guy down.” He grinned. “And not because I had doubts you couldn’t handle it, but because that boy has serious problems. I mean, sucking on your fingers?”
Elena looked at his disgusted face and tried to fully understand what he was saying, but there was still a certain ringing in her ears. She would move her head from side to side before refocusing.
“Odd, wasn't it? I mean, it’s not the first time an opponent tries to get close- but that was a new one. There was the rumour he likes to break fingers, but to me it was like he tried to flirt. In a very extraordinary way, but still. Could be some sort of mama complex, right? Usually such individuals have mother problems.”
She made a small pause while moving every single finger. One after the other, trying to figure out if there had been any damage done. The smile on her face grew a little further when everything felt fine. Or at least no new pain had been added.
“But yeah, that one is over and one for the books. If there was any doubt, still, that I am serious about this- they probably understand now. I don’t like to play games and one way or another Project Honor has to come to terms with that. They can throw their best at me and I will have the right answer. Sweet and easy.”
He carefully ran his fingers over her arms trying his best to not brush over the open wounds. They were small, but each of them angered him. A talk he previously had with Frankie, both agreeing that Elena wasn't used in the best way. Sure she took home the wins, but at what cost? Facing guys that weren’t so much wrestlers but butchers, talented or not. They also agreed not to hit the topic just now- but they would.
“As much as I love it when you cut another promo on me, I made sure the EMT’s are ready to see you. And no, this is not up for discussion. Don’t want you to catch anything from that dirty boy. Shall we, my queen?”
I could protest.
But I won’t. If it made him feel better, who was she to deny him that? Although she was fully aware that everything was fine, especially after almost two decades in the ring, she slowly nodded her head. For a moment it was as if the whole world had vanished, everything but him. She looked up at Mark, losing herself in those steel blue eyes. Elena pulled him slightly down to finally kiss him, but not without a small stop before their lips touched. She grinned.
“You do realise you are pretty annoying, right?”
“You knew that beforehand and still married me, love. So what does that make you?”
“Crazy. Absolutely and fully mad.”
He winked at her before they finally embraced in that needed kiss. Neither of them cared about what else was going on, although it felt as if he was dragging her towards the EMT cabin. Or maybe it was her body playing tricks on her. Either way, as they stood there sharing this intimate moment there was one thing dragging her back to reality.
Does he taste my blood on his tongue?
LITTLE LIES [TELL ME LIES, TELL ME SWEET LITTLE LIES]
[Garrison, New York]
My home is my castle. In the case of Elena DeDraca that wasn't all too far from the truth. The mansion that she and Mark had bought was huge, almost decadent. But it wasn't because either of them wanted to showcase their wealth, they simply liked space. And so did Isabella. The little princess had a big heart for animals, which explained the mini zoo that was outside the building. Every morning she would go there and feed them, pat them and spend time with her cuddly buddies. All of them had names, from the goat to the little snail that loved to destroy Elena’s flowers. Many mornings they would visit them together, but not today. Somewhere in the back she heard Mark hunting after the little one, trying to slow her down.
Good luck.
For a long moment she would watch them both from her huge window, looking down at the world. This room probably was what the holy grail was to Indiana Jones. It was something that Elena had wanted all her life, even though so many doubted she would ever have anything to put into it. Her trophy room. There was one in the old house, but this one was even bigger. Mark had picked the wood and even added little details himself. It caused her to giggle to imagine him as a construction worker. Although he probably would still wear a suit then.
"There was a time when all there was, was doubt. From the world, from the people around you but mostly from yourself. You had this big dream but the world was ready to take it away from you, Elena. They would tell you that you can’t do it. Remind you of where you came from and that you’re nothing more than a worthless piece of shit."
A shudder ran down her spine as she whirled around. She was certain that someone had entered the room, speaking to her. But there was no one here but herself. Alone with her thoughts and that voice that once again dared to scream at her. The expression on her face was filled with horror, her pulse racing.
“What do you want?”
Her voice wasn't more than a whisper but still loud enough to fill the room. For a long moment she expected an answer, but there wasn't one. Trying to shake off the uneasy feeling she began to focus on the numerous titles placed carefully in display cases. With each title there were memories of all kinds. The really good ones but also those that would forever break her heart. She had just taken a few steps as the annoying tingle in the back of her head reappeared.
"You tried to get rid of me before, darling, and how well did that work? You wanted to be righteous, Elena. The one that could be a role model for little girls or everyone that felt lost in their lives. You might be able to fool the rest of the world, but me? Don’t be silly. I have kept you company for the past thirty plus years. I was at your side when everyone decided to piss off, give up on you. And that is how it always will be. One by one they will betray you. It’s not that they want to, but you don’t leave them much chance. Even those that love you constantly get pushed away, ask yourself how much a human heart can take? Listen to your heart, if you still have one."
“I didn’t invite you in. I don’t need your advice either.”
Elena DeDraca was by no means crazy, fully aware that she was talking to herself, but that didn’t change a damn thing in this moment. She was staring at her reflection in the glass, almost feeling mocked.
"You probably didn’t ask for it, but you were close. That night you stepped back from your match against Drago- you felt me there with you. I was the last push you needed to finish the pissboy. They don’t wanna see you succeed, Elena. Project Honor hasn’t hand picked you for all the obvious reasons. None of them cares for a hasbeen. They want fresh meat. And while this might hurt right now, you know what has to happen. It’s inevitable. You may guilt me for a lot of things, but I have never lied to you. If anything, I’ve saved you most of your life. Don’t fight it, little Raven.”
Her whole body felt tense when she kept walking through the room. Forgotten were the good memories, her focus driven away from all the gold. The awards that stood there on the shelf didn’t seem to shine for her anymore. Right behind her eyes there was this pounding and hammering, combined with a pain that was impossible to describe.
“I can’t do that. It’s impossible. Don’t you understand that I am not this person anymore?"
Laughter.
"You are exactly that person. Remember how it felt setting Cyrus on fire? What kind of satisfaction it was when you burnt down that little chapel? I do. And once more you know I am not lying. We’re one, Elena. Why fight it when you can embrace it? The feeling of being complete. Society might not like it, some of your so called friends don't like it, but what do you want? What is the reason that you once more decided to lace up your boots? You got everything. This handsome man and this beautiful daughter. More serious title reigns that most wrestlers get and we don’t need to talk about money. So what is that leads you back to the dirt? Don’t deny me. Don’t deny yourself, Elena."
Elena was shaking her head wanting to get rid of this noise. Maybe she was going crazy, but never without a fight. The melodic voice, which was slightly darker than her own, kept humming. Kept hammering. And still there were those eyes that stared back at her from the glass. Without hesitation she rammed her fist into the vitrine. The pain didn’t come immediately but it would. Glass shattered and fell on the floor, right in front of her feet. Everything that wasn't stuck in her skin. There was a splitter still hanging on, just enough so she could see parts of her face. Disturbed and horrified.
“You know what? Fuck it. Fuck what everyone wants or expects from me, those days are over. Even at my best days I would return to my room and put everything in doubt. Every title win or every little bit of success in general. I asked myself if I could have done things better, if the other person didn’t deserve it just as much. Fuck that too. I am not going to give an inch of sympathy to anyone on this roster. Friend or Foe, it’s all the same. I have stepped aside way too often, giving everyone else their fifteen minutes of fame.”
Her reflection smiled back at her even though her real expression seemed stoic and cold. Her long dark hair builds the most perfect frame for her pale face. Her eyes were playing all shades of green at this moment.
“I don’t need to explain my motives. And yet I have done that again and again. Every scar on my body is telling a tale of how I survived every shit moment in this life. They wanna bend and break me while giving their attention to cry babies? Those that can’t do their job and then complain how unfair the fucking world is? I got news for them too, yeah the world sucks and then you die. No one owes you anything and if you can’t deal with someone being better than you, maybe it’s time to think of a new job. I don’t give a fuck anymore how many bodies I will wreck on my way. They are behind me and often enough underneath me. They wanna try me? So it will be.”
She fully ignored her bleeding hand or the sharp pain that slowly started to form. For a few more moments she looked at herself before turning around. Taking a few well measured steps towards and non fancy door, probably for a storeroom. With her good hand she fumbled on her necklace, yeah the one with the huge key.
“What does the world fucking concern me?”
Elena was mostly mumbling at this point while trying to unlock the door. As always it was giving her a hard time but eventually cracked open. With one move she turned on the light looking at the box right in front of her. It was a simple brown box with the word PAST written over it. The young woman kneeled down reaching out, slowly opening. She took a deep breath before pulling something out.
“I was not meant to bend the knee. Never.”
In her hand she held a pair of boots that probably had seen better days. The soft leather was scratched here and there, on the side you could read ED in purple letters. From a distance it looked like the black was coloured red at several spots. Blood. Her sharp nails scratched over the fabric, but still gentle.
“Those whiny bitches can have the future. I will take the here and now.”
Once more her hand reached into the box pulling out a bundle of leather. When unfolding it her first ever leather jacket appeared. Elena placed it closer to her face, soaking in the scent. It was hard to describe, but not necessary either. She grabbed her belongings before getting back up, carefully locking that room again. In a theatrical manner she placed the boots in front of her leather chair, the jacket hanging over the armrest.
“They wanna dance, so let’s dance. Life is too short to waste it in the shadow of anyone. Not even your own. This world doesn’t need any more heroes, it needs a real monster.”
It was hard to tell how long she stood there with that satisfied grin on her face, but the voice finally was silenced. So was Elena.
Free at last.
THE WOLF
[Garrison, New York]
I sleep with the scars. For some reason that was the one sentence that kept going through her head. The one truth with the little add on that some of them would never heal. The pain was staying the same, just the way of dealing had changed. There was no self pity or feeling sorry in general. Just a certainty that at the end of all days everyone had to fight their own wars. That no demon was ever the same, some were penetrant and willing to rip you apart with a smile on their face. The latter one was the kind that Elena DeDraca had become. Well, she always was exactly that- but had her ways to live through it. Sympathy was for those that could spare it. For those that still dreamt of equality and life being fair.
It was all but a dream.
She wasn't necessarily bitter. There was no reason for that, but in the past there had been a few reality checks- some she had decided to ignore. Nothing was perfect outside of those four walls she called her home. Plenty of people needed to be saved, but she wasn't a heroine. Especially after realising how little of them deserved it. Another lesson learned, right? All they ever did was take, but neither of them knew how to give. Had she expected sympathy as her mother died? Not really, people were too busy sucking each other's asses. Friends. That’s what they would say, but in reality just people you know. Again, she wasn't upset about that- a bit pissed she allowed them to come so close.
Shame on you, Elena.
But that was thoughts for the book she probably would never write. My life as a professional wrestler. Subtitle- surrounded by snakes and cheap hoes. Catchy title, huh? Currently she was sitting at home in her favourite chair, Isabella on her lap- while they went through her favourite book: Where the wild things are. It was hard to tell how often they had gone through this, but it was hard to tell her now. And Elena wouldn’t. She kissed the blonde girl on the head and then looked at her intensively. The big blue eyes that forced you into defeat, combined with that tiny nose and the sweet smile. This kid was a lot more dangerous than anyone else ever could be.
Before she knew it the little girl jumped off of her lap and was off wandering through the house. Even after all this time there were still things to explore. Half the time Elena didn’t even ask what she had found today. One way or another she would find out about it, shuddering. With the chaos the world was in everything seemed a little easier, even though this sounded grotesque. Traveling was cut down to a minimum and people remained on the inside while keeping their social contacts to a minimum. Well, the ones with a functional brain. Not those that were selfish assholes you wanted to punch right between the eyes.
But there is no deadly virus out there. Just a conspiracy.
But for Elena nothing had really changed. The longer this was going on the more she took notice of that. When she stretched in her chair to wake up her legs, her eyes fell on the display of her phone. A few notifications from different platforms. Mostly those were the people hung around that could never shut up. She smiled softly before leaning back again, stretching her whole body now.
[REC]
“How come I always have to go back to something before I can focus on what’s there to come? I am not the one to blame though. I am just blessed with ungrateful and scared little squirrels aka my opponents. I see you Drago. I see you are so alive and talky when it comes to other companies. Didn’t have words for me? Not even a big fat FUCK YOU? It’s okay, love. You rather fight the battles you know you can win. Just like most people on this roster. Things get shaky and they are found stomping their feet or painted all over social media. I get it. I am done blaming any of you for not knowing better, I will just kick your fucking teeth out from now on. No more questions asked. And most importantly not wasting my precious time on creating a special moment for either of you. I might love to wear black and white, but I am not fucking Mother Theresa.”
She winked towards the camera before raising her hand, moving all her fingers for a few moments before they stopped. The only one that remained standing was her middle finger. Of course perfectly manicured and with those sharp nails at the end.
“Sometimes it is really hard to be me, but someone has to do the job. I am sorry that before my entrance everyone was so lovely to everyone. That there was this gentle hand that did guide you through this. And after every match there was this gentle person that would kiss your ouchies and tell you that you did a great job. You can still have that from the weak spot that I call management, but certainly not from me. Get the job done, or get out. That is one of the credos that I follow. Which automatically leads me to my upcoming opponent. Shawn Warstein. You know the one with the big mouth that constantly rambles and gets his nose in the business of other people. Of course only via social media. But does that make him special? Not really. There are plenty of that type strolling around trying to get attention. Don’t think I haven’t seen you, Shawn. I know your ways but just like that I know your weak spots. You appear to be a tough guy with your little tattoos and that whole keyboard ninja attitude, but at the end of the day you’re just a man. Like everyone else, well unless they got boobs.”
“I never had the time to care about egos which is unfortunate for you. Because that is what you are made of. Some could say it's self esteem, but then again some are dumb as bread. But where are my manners, did I congratulate you for that big win? The one where you won the tag titles? Or whatever other title you won in that other company I’ve forgotten about. You did well, boy. But you know what they say, winning a title is one thing- carrying it another. It is the champion that makes the belt mean something. You can create a legacy out of that, yeah i know wordplay, but probably you will be stuck keeping it mediocre. The problem with your personality is easily explained, you don’t have one. You’re a trend and there are a few sheep to follow you. Not that I wanna call James a sheep, but he better be careful. He knows me well enough to remember that coming in my way never ends well. But maybe he doesn’t even have to worry about me, but his own partner. Just a few thesis my mind has brought to life, no worries. But one thing I can say with certainty, I got zero respect for those that need to cheat their way through their careers. No offense, Shawn. Just an observation from someone that has ruled this business long before your addict mother pushed you into this world.”
Somewhere in the far distance of the house she heard giggle noises. Probably just Izzy had played hide and seek with Mark. Or she had found another treasure in those old walls. Elena was focused on the camera, seductively licking over her lips.
“Maybe that was a low blow but I hope you got thicker skin than that. I am aware that people like to share their sad story, but god forbid anyone touches on it. Truth to be told, I don’t give a fuck. About your previous life or the struggles you’ve faced. Leave alone the demons you survived to get somewhat of a decent life. Addiction is what it is. A catalyst for problems we don’t wanna deal with. No one is to blame but yourself Shawn. You’re no hero for finding your way back. So please forgive if you don’t get a pattern from me or a round of applause. Right at the beginning I made one thing clear, we choose our own path. And the most important thing one has to learn, we all got our problems. It only matters how we deal with it, right Fuzzy? Those that scream the loudest are usually the weakest. Watch through history and tell me I am wrong. And that is all I will do to analyse you, we are on borrowed time- plus it’s not really all that entertaining.”
“The Legacy Championship. The most prestigious title this company has to offer, or at least that’s what they say. And there is one thing I know for sure, they would love to see everyone win that. Maybe just not me. I am a troublemaker, Shawn. I am not well behaved, a brainless soldier and that usually causes problems. But I will not lie about it, this has me excited. It's been two years since I had the chance to fight for a shiny prize. One that definitely will look better around my hips that anyone else’s. But different from you I am aware that nothing is set in stone yet. I am not sitting somewhere and telling the world that this is the next title that will be mine. Silly goose. I am fully aware that I will have to earn my way to that chance and I am willing to sacrifice everything. Firstly you. Collateral damage, or something like that. I take what you can do inside a ring seriously, but that doesn’t mean I take you seriously. When we stand face to face I will smack that smile off of your face. Just like I did with everyone else since signing with the company. But so did you, right? Or at least that is what your record with Project Honor says. But when I look back at the people you faced up till now, what was there to be scared of? I don’t say that to be an asshole or to belittle anyone, but you must see that yourself.”
She was lazily playing with her hair while her eyes remained still. Not even a single blink, as if she was afraid to miss something.
“You know what is the most boring stuff about this industry? People pretending. And after they have done that for a good while, they start to believe their own stories. They need people to create a certain hype about them, and keep telling the tales about how great someone is. Silly, isn’t it? But to each their own I think. Are you ready for this, Shawn? I mean really ready for whatever may come. Neither of us know what the stipulation will be and unless we have to pose in bikinis, I am okay with everything. This could be our belated christmas present. The one we unwrap and not certain this is what we wanted. But at the end of the night you will understand that it doesn’t matter what you want. Or what management wants. I am standing between you and getting that damn glory you have been longing for. Ever since pulling yourself out of the dirt you wanted to be that person. Forgetting where you come from is a big mistake. I don’t claim to be the Queen of England, when in reality I am just a one girl army. Sure there are people that would love to support me, but I fight my own battles. Always have and always will. That is the point I’ve been trying to make with you, Shawn. Just because there are people in my life, doesn’t mean I need anyone- especially not when it comes to my career.”
“Can you say the same about you? If we for one second ignore that you tend to cheat a lot and your ego goes over the hills and far away. What do we have? Nothing. A lot of nonsense being said with constantly missing the point. You are fragile, dollface. God forbid anyone ever seens through the thin layers you call your personality. Which probably fits on a teaspoon. Look at me being on a run today, naughty Elena. But you don’t have to worry, everyone else would have gotten that speech. Because that is what I see when checking the competition. Generic bullshit and empty vessels. Matter of fact is that I will come at you with everything I got and if needed that extra bit. I have set my eyes on that Legacy title and no matter what, I will be willing to go that extra mile. Not because I think I am better than everyone else, but what this business really misses is prestigious. Doubtful very many can even spell that word, leave alone know what it means. Or how to live by it. I might be a cruel bitch, but I still have something called honor. Hence I will not need to bend the rules to destroy the picture you painted for yourself, Shawn. Burst your bubble as the cool kids used to say.”
For a moment the expression on her face seemed frozen, before she bursted out laughing. In her typical manner she shrugged her shoulders before straightening her shoulders. She pulled herself closer to the camera, her face filling out the focus.
“What is there to expect from you, Shawn? A lot of blah blah where you think you make a point- when we all know you don’t. You will tell me how great you are, considering you hold two titles. Or that you are unbeaten in Project Honor. What else was there? Oh yes, that you are the Number two in the Elite thing. Well done, you want a cookie? I ask you now directly, do you really think that your usual hocus pocus does work on someone like me? I have been traveling the rings of this world for over 16 years. I’ve ended careers and started them. And all of this time I have done it by being Elena DeDraca. I didn’t create an alter ego to get the job done. Or to hide from the bad bad things that needed to be done. I don’t wanna hit below the belt, but that is what someone does with balls. Go and figure what that means for you then. There is no mercy left. No matter how much we try to be friends with other competitors, it's all just a fragile construct we try to believe. Something that will make you feel better after every match. But reality is a different one. You want something, you have to fight for it. No regrets, no hard feelings.”
“So let me close with this, fuck being generous. I don’t care for you, Shawn. And I am too old and tired to pretend anything else. Maybe this will be our only chance to encounter, no one knows with that draft coming up. But I will make you one promise and it's a pretty big one. You will remember this for the rest of your life. The one time that your cheating and big mouth couldn’t get you what you wanted. I never bite off more than I can chew. And you my lovely is nothing more than a snack. Whatever happens to you come our match, you may blame yourself for it. From now on I won’t take any blame or feel sorry for anyone. If you can’t do your job, how is that my problem? I will read your clever responses on social media, right?”
“You are welcome.”
[Denver, Colorado] [Unbreakable Resolution Aftermath]
She was feeling fine. Well, that was not even covering it- Elena DeDraca was euphoric. A little something that only a real fighter could understand. Before going into a fight Adrenaline was pumping through your veins. With every beat of your heart it felt as if pure electricity was filling your body. The exact same feeling that helped you push through painful situations, or possible injuries. She’d been there, she’d done that.
When stepping back through the curtain she felt a few hands touching her, here and there congratulations being outspoken. If anyone asked at this moment who she was passing by, it was impossible to tell. They were there, but they weren’t. Not till her eyes fell over the little crowd- meeting the ones of her husband. He tried his best to look cheerful, but she knew him better than that. There was this significant wrinkle between his eyebrows, the one she had seen too often. She wouldn’t deny that her body was hurting, but Elena was the type to suck it up and walk on. Tonight was no different. She straightened her shoulders and held her head up high, showing her best smile.
“Did you see me out there? Took the boy for a ride he won’t forget.”
Mark reached out to run his fingertips over the side of her face, but hesitated. It was slightly swollen and damn sure a bruise was forming underneath that pale skin. Before he could pull back though she had grabbed his hand, putting it on her cheek.
Keep up your poker face.
“You’ve surpassed my greatest expectations just like always, love. I am very proud of you… “
“But? And please don’t pretend that there isn’t a but. I have seen that look millions of times by now. Not only when you look at me, but when you watch Austin’s stuff too. So spit it out, darling.”
Busted! and he knew it. In his usual manner he rubbed the back of his neck, almost apologetic. Once more his eyes observed her from head to toes, obviously trying to figure out the real damage. It was pointless to ask how she felt because the answer wouldn’t be accurate. Instead he pulled her in a gentle hug, not minding the blood or sweat. Kissing her head, ignoring the messy hair.
“I learnt a long time ago that it is pointless trying to lead you on, even if sometimes it would be for the better. There were a few moments in that match where I was ready to run out and just strike the guy down.” He grinned. “And not because I had doubts you couldn’t handle it, but because that boy has serious problems. I mean, sucking on your fingers?”
Elena looked at his disgusted face and tried to fully understand what he was saying, but there was still a certain ringing in her ears. She would move her head from side to side before refocusing.
“Odd, wasn't it? I mean, it’s not the first time an opponent tries to get close- but that was a new one. There was the rumour he likes to break fingers, but to me it was like he tried to flirt. In a very extraordinary way, but still. Could be some sort of mama complex, right? Usually such individuals have mother problems.”
She made a small pause while moving every single finger. One after the other, trying to figure out if there had been any damage done. The smile on her face grew a little further when everything felt fine. Or at least no new pain had been added.
“But yeah, that one is over and one for the books. If there was any doubt, still, that I am serious about this- they probably understand now. I don’t like to play games and one way or another Project Honor has to come to terms with that. They can throw their best at me and I will have the right answer. Sweet and easy.”
He carefully ran his fingers over her arms trying his best to not brush over the open wounds. They were small, but each of them angered him. A talk he previously had with Frankie, both agreeing that Elena wasn't used in the best way. Sure she took home the wins, but at what cost? Facing guys that weren’t so much wrestlers but butchers, talented or not. They also agreed not to hit the topic just now- but they would.
“As much as I love it when you cut another promo on me, I made sure the EMT’s are ready to see you. And no, this is not up for discussion. Don’t want you to catch anything from that dirty boy. Shall we, my queen?”
I could protest.
But I won’t. If it made him feel better, who was she to deny him that? Although she was fully aware that everything was fine, especially after almost two decades in the ring, she slowly nodded her head. For a moment it was as if the whole world had vanished, everything but him. She looked up at Mark, losing herself in those steel blue eyes. Elena pulled him slightly down to finally kiss him, but not without a small stop before their lips touched. She grinned.
“You do realise you are pretty annoying, right?”
“You knew that beforehand and still married me, love. So what does that make you?”
“Crazy. Absolutely and fully mad.”
He winked at her before they finally embraced in that needed kiss. Neither of them cared about what else was going on, although it felt as if he was dragging her towards the EMT cabin. Or maybe it was her body playing tricks on her. Either way, as they stood there sharing this intimate moment there was one thing dragging her back to reality.
Does he taste my blood on his tongue?
LITTLE LIES [TELL ME LIES, TELL ME SWEET LITTLE LIES]
[Garrison, New York]
My home is my castle. In the case of Elena DeDraca that wasn't all too far from the truth. The mansion that she and Mark had bought was huge, almost decadent. But it wasn't because either of them wanted to showcase their wealth, they simply liked space. And so did Isabella. The little princess had a big heart for animals, which explained the mini zoo that was outside the building. Every morning she would go there and feed them, pat them and spend time with her cuddly buddies. All of them had names, from the goat to the little snail that loved to destroy Elena’s flowers. Many mornings they would visit them together, but not today. Somewhere in the back she heard Mark hunting after the little one, trying to slow her down.
Good luck.
For a long moment she would watch them both from her huge window, looking down at the world. This room probably was what the holy grail was to Indiana Jones. It was something that Elena had wanted all her life, even though so many doubted she would ever have anything to put into it. Her trophy room. There was one in the old house, but this one was even bigger. Mark had picked the wood and even added little details himself. It caused her to giggle to imagine him as a construction worker. Although he probably would still wear a suit then.
"There was a time when all there was, was doubt. From the world, from the people around you but mostly from yourself. You had this big dream but the world was ready to take it away from you, Elena. They would tell you that you can’t do it. Remind you of where you came from and that you’re nothing more than a worthless piece of shit."
A shudder ran down her spine as she whirled around. She was certain that someone had entered the room, speaking to her. But there was no one here but herself. Alone with her thoughts and that voice that once again dared to scream at her. The expression on her face was filled with horror, her pulse racing.
“What do you want?”
Her voice wasn't more than a whisper but still loud enough to fill the room. For a long moment she expected an answer, but there wasn't one. Trying to shake off the uneasy feeling she began to focus on the numerous titles placed carefully in display cases. With each title there were memories of all kinds. The really good ones but also those that would forever break her heart. She had just taken a few steps as the annoying tingle in the back of her head reappeared.
"You tried to get rid of me before, darling, and how well did that work? You wanted to be righteous, Elena. The one that could be a role model for little girls or everyone that felt lost in their lives. You might be able to fool the rest of the world, but me? Don’t be silly. I have kept you company for the past thirty plus years. I was at your side when everyone decided to piss off, give up on you. And that is how it always will be. One by one they will betray you. It’s not that they want to, but you don’t leave them much chance. Even those that love you constantly get pushed away, ask yourself how much a human heart can take? Listen to your heart, if you still have one."
“I didn’t invite you in. I don’t need your advice either.”
Elena DeDraca was by no means crazy, fully aware that she was talking to herself, but that didn’t change a damn thing in this moment. She was staring at her reflection in the glass, almost feeling mocked.
"You probably didn’t ask for it, but you were close. That night you stepped back from your match against Drago- you felt me there with you. I was the last push you needed to finish the pissboy. They don’t wanna see you succeed, Elena. Project Honor hasn’t hand picked you for all the obvious reasons. None of them cares for a hasbeen. They want fresh meat. And while this might hurt right now, you know what has to happen. It’s inevitable. You may guilt me for a lot of things, but I have never lied to you. If anything, I’ve saved you most of your life. Don’t fight it, little Raven.”
Her whole body felt tense when she kept walking through the room. Forgotten were the good memories, her focus driven away from all the gold. The awards that stood there on the shelf didn’t seem to shine for her anymore. Right behind her eyes there was this pounding and hammering, combined with a pain that was impossible to describe.
“I can’t do that. It’s impossible. Don’t you understand that I am not this person anymore?"
Laughter.
"You are exactly that person. Remember how it felt setting Cyrus on fire? What kind of satisfaction it was when you burnt down that little chapel? I do. And once more you know I am not lying. We’re one, Elena. Why fight it when you can embrace it? The feeling of being complete. Society might not like it, some of your so called friends don't like it, but what do you want? What is the reason that you once more decided to lace up your boots? You got everything. This handsome man and this beautiful daughter. More serious title reigns that most wrestlers get and we don’t need to talk about money. So what is that leads you back to the dirt? Don’t deny me. Don’t deny yourself, Elena."
Elena was shaking her head wanting to get rid of this noise. Maybe she was going crazy, but never without a fight. The melodic voice, which was slightly darker than her own, kept humming. Kept hammering. And still there were those eyes that stared back at her from the glass. Without hesitation she rammed her fist into the vitrine. The pain didn’t come immediately but it would. Glass shattered and fell on the floor, right in front of her feet. Everything that wasn't stuck in her skin. There was a splitter still hanging on, just enough so she could see parts of her face. Disturbed and horrified.
“You know what? Fuck it. Fuck what everyone wants or expects from me, those days are over. Even at my best days I would return to my room and put everything in doubt. Every title win or every little bit of success in general. I asked myself if I could have done things better, if the other person didn’t deserve it just as much. Fuck that too. I am not going to give an inch of sympathy to anyone on this roster. Friend or Foe, it’s all the same. I have stepped aside way too often, giving everyone else their fifteen minutes of fame.”
Her reflection smiled back at her even though her real expression seemed stoic and cold. Her long dark hair builds the most perfect frame for her pale face. Her eyes were playing all shades of green at this moment.
“I don’t need to explain my motives. And yet I have done that again and again. Every scar on my body is telling a tale of how I survived every shit moment in this life. They wanna bend and break me while giving their attention to cry babies? Those that can’t do their job and then complain how unfair the fucking world is? I got news for them too, yeah the world sucks and then you die. No one owes you anything and if you can’t deal with someone being better than you, maybe it’s time to think of a new job. I don’t give a fuck anymore how many bodies I will wreck on my way. They are behind me and often enough underneath me. They wanna try me? So it will be.”
She fully ignored her bleeding hand or the sharp pain that slowly started to form. For a few more moments she looked at herself before turning around. Taking a few well measured steps towards and non fancy door, probably for a storeroom. With her good hand she fumbled on her necklace, yeah the one with the huge key.
“What does the world fucking concern me?”
Elena was mostly mumbling at this point while trying to unlock the door. As always it was giving her a hard time but eventually cracked open. With one move she turned on the light looking at the box right in front of her. It was a simple brown box with the word PAST written over it. The young woman kneeled down reaching out, slowly opening. She took a deep breath before pulling something out.
“I was not meant to bend the knee. Never.”
In her hand she held a pair of boots that probably had seen better days. The soft leather was scratched here and there, on the side you could read ED in purple letters. From a distance it looked like the black was coloured red at several spots. Blood. Her sharp nails scratched over the fabric, but still gentle.
“Those whiny bitches can have the future. I will take the here and now.”
Once more her hand reached into the box pulling out a bundle of leather. When unfolding it her first ever leather jacket appeared. Elena placed it closer to her face, soaking in the scent. It was hard to describe, but not necessary either. She grabbed her belongings before getting back up, carefully locking that room again. In a theatrical manner she placed the boots in front of her leather chair, the jacket hanging over the armrest.
“They wanna dance, so let’s dance. Life is too short to waste it in the shadow of anyone. Not even your own. This world doesn’t need any more heroes, it needs a real monster.”
It was hard to tell how long she stood there with that satisfied grin on her face, but the voice finally was silenced. So was Elena.
Free at last.
THE WOLF
[Garrison, New York]
I sleep with the scars. For some reason that was the one sentence that kept going through her head. The one truth with the little add on that some of them would never heal. The pain was staying the same, just the way of dealing had changed. There was no self pity or feeling sorry in general. Just a certainty that at the end of all days everyone had to fight their own wars. That no demon was ever the same, some were penetrant and willing to rip you apart with a smile on their face. The latter one was the kind that Elena DeDraca had become. Well, she always was exactly that- but had her ways to live through it. Sympathy was for those that could spare it. For those that still dreamt of equality and life being fair.
It was all but a dream.
She wasn't necessarily bitter. There was no reason for that, but in the past there had been a few reality checks- some she had decided to ignore. Nothing was perfect outside of those four walls she called her home. Plenty of people needed to be saved, but she wasn't a heroine. Especially after realising how little of them deserved it. Another lesson learned, right? All they ever did was take, but neither of them knew how to give. Had she expected sympathy as her mother died? Not really, people were too busy sucking each other's asses. Friends. That’s what they would say, but in reality just people you know. Again, she wasn't upset about that- a bit pissed she allowed them to come so close.
Shame on you, Elena.
But that was thoughts for the book she probably would never write. My life as a professional wrestler. Subtitle- surrounded by snakes and cheap hoes. Catchy title, huh? Currently she was sitting at home in her favourite chair, Isabella on her lap- while they went through her favourite book: Where the wild things are. It was hard to tell how often they had gone through this, but it was hard to tell her now. And Elena wouldn’t. She kissed the blonde girl on the head and then looked at her intensively. The big blue eyes that forced you into defeat, combined with that tiny nose and the sweet smile. This kid was a lot more dangerous than anyone else ever could be.
Before she knew it the little girl jumped off of her lap and was off wandering through the house. Even after all this time there were still things to explore. Half the time Elena didn’t even ask what she had found today. One way or another she would find out about it, shuddering. With the chaos the world was in everything seemed a little easier, even though this sounded grotesque. Traveling was cut down to a minimum and people remained on the inside while keeping their social contacts to a minimum. Well, the ones with a functional brain. Not those that were selfish assholes you wanted to punch right between the eyes.
But there is no deadly virus out there. Just a conspiracy.
But for Elena nothing had really changed. The longer this was going on the more she took notice of that. When she stretched in her chair to wake up her legs, her eyes fell on the display of her phone. A few notifications from different platforms. Mostly those were the people hung around that could never shut up. She smiled softly before leaning back again, stretching her whole body now.
[REC]
“How come I always have to go back to something before I can focus on what’s there to come? I am not the one to blame though. I am just blessed with ungrateful and scared little squirrels aka my opponents. I see you Drago. I see you are so alive and talky when it comes to other companies. Didn’t have words for me? Not even a big fat FUCK YOU? It’s okay, love. You rather fight the battles you know you can win. Just like most people on this roster. Things get shaky and they are found stomping their feet or painted all over social media. I get it. I am done blaming any of you for not knowing better, I will just kick your fucking teeth out from now on. No more questions asked. And most importantly not wasting my precious time on creating a special moment for either of you. I might love to wear black and white, but I am not fucking Mother Theresa.”
She winked towards the camera before raising her hand, moving all her fingers for a few moments before they stopped. The only one that remained standing was her middle finger. Of course perfectly manicured and with those sharp nails at the end.
“Sometimes it is really hard to be me, but someone has to do the job. I am sorry that before my entrance everyone was so lovely to everyone. That there was this gentle hand that did guide you through this. And after every match there was this gentle person that would kiss your ouchies and tell you that you did a great job. You can still have that from the weak spot that I call management, but certainly not from me. Get the job done, or get out. That is one of the credos that I follow. Which automatically leads me to my upcoming opponent. Shawn Warstein. You know the one with the big mouth that constantly rambles and gets his nose in the business of other people. Of course only via social media. But does that make him special? Not really. There are plenty of that type strolling around trying to get attention. Don’t think I haven’t seen you, Shawn. I know your ways but just like that I know your weak spots. You appear to be a tough guy with your little tattoos and that whole keyboard ninja attitude, but at the end of the day you’re just a man. Like everyone else, well unless they got boobs.”
“I never had the time to care about egos which is unfortunate for you. Because that is what you are made of. Some could say it's self esteem, but then again some are dumb as bread. But where are my manners, did I congratulate you for that big win? The one where you won the tag titles? Or whatever other title you won in that other company I’ve forgotten about. You did well, boy. But you know what they say, winning a title is one thing- carrying it another. It is the champion that makes the belt mean something. You can create a legacy out of that, yeah i know wordplay, but probably you will be stuck keeping it mediocre. The problem with your personality is easily explained, you don’t have one. You’re a trend and there are a few sheep to follow you. Not that I wanna call James a sheep, but he better be careful. He knows me well enough to remember that coming in my way never ends well. But maybe he doesn’t even have to worry about me, but his own partner. Just a few thesis my mind has brought to life, no worries. But one thing I can say with certainty, I got zero respect for those that need to cheat their way through their careers. No offense, Shawn. Just an observation from someone that has ruled this business long before your addict mother pushed you into this world.”
Somewhere in the far distance of the house she heard giggle noises. Probably just Izzy had played hide and seek with Mark. Or she had found another treasure in those old walls. Elena was focused on the camera, seductively licking over her lips.
“Maybe that was a low blow but I hope you got thicker skin than that. I am aware that people like to share their sad story, but god forbid anyone touches on it. Truth to be told, I don’t give a fuck. About your previous life or the struggles you’ve faced. Leave alone the demons you survived to get somewhat of a decent life. Addiction is what it is. A catalyst for problems we don’t wanna deal with. No one is to blame but yourself Shawn. You’re no hero for finding your way back. So please forgive if you don’t get a pattern from me or a round of applause. Right at the beginning I made one thing clear, we choose our own path. And the most important thing one has to learn, we all got our problems. It only matters how we deal with it, right Fuzzy? Those that scream the loudest are usually the weakest. Watch through history and tell me I am wrong. And that is all I will do to analyse you, we are on borrowed time- plus it’s not really all that entertaining.”
“The Legacy Championship. The most prestigious title this company has to offer, or at least that’s what they say. And there is one thing I know for sure, they would love to see everyone win that. Maybe just not me. I am a troublemaker, Shawn. I am not well behaved, a brainless soldier and that usually causes problems. But I will not lie about it, this has me excited. It's been two years since I had the chance to fight for a shiny prize. One that definitely will look better around my hips that anyone else’s. But different from you I am aware that nothing is set in stone yet. I am not sitting somewhere and telling the world that this is the next title that will be mine. Silly goose. I am fully aware that I will have to earn my way to that chance and I am willing to sacrifice everything. Firstly you. Collateral damage, or something like that. I take what you can do inside a ring seriously, but that doesn’t mean I take you seriously. When we stand face to face I will smack that smile off of your face. Just like I did with everyone else since signing with the company. But so did you, right? Or at least that is what your record with Project Honor says. But when I look back at the people you faced up till now, what was there to be scared of? I don’t say that to be an asshole or to belittle anyone, but you must see that yourself.”
She was lazily playing with her hair while her eyes remained still. Not even a single blink, as if she was afraid to miss something.
“You know what is the most boring stuff about this industry? People pretending. And after they have done that for a good while, they start to believe their own stories. They need people to create a certain hype about them, and keep telling the tales about how great someone is. Silly, isn’t it? But to each their own I think. Are you ready for this, Shawn? I mean really ready for whatever may come. Neither of us know what the stipulation will be and unless we have to pose in bikinis, I am okay with everything. This could be our belated christmas present. The one we unwrap and not certain this is what we wanted. But at the end of the night you will understand that it doesn’t matter what you want. Or what management wants. I am standing between you and getting that damn glory you have been longing for. Ever since pulling yourself out of the dirt you wanted to be that person. Forgetting where you come from is a big mistake. I don’t claim to be the Queen of England, when in reality I am just a one girl army. Sure there are people that would love to support me, but I fight my own battles. Always have and always will. That is the point I’ve been trying to make with you, Shawn. Just because there are people in my life, doesn’t mean I need anyone- especially not when it comes to my career.”
“Can you say the same about you? If we for one second ignore that you tend to cheat a lot and your ego goes over the hills and far away. What do we have? Nothing. A lot of nonsense being said with constantly missing the point. You are fragile, dollface. God forbid anyone ever seens through the thin layers you call your personality. Which probably fits on a teaspoon. Look at me being on a run today, naughty Elena. But you don’t have to worry, everyone else would have gotten that speech. Because that is what I see when checking the competition. Generic bullshit and empty vessels. Matter of fact is that I will come at you with everything I got and if needed that extra bit. I have set my eyes on that Legacy title and no matter what, I will be willing to go that extra mile. Not because I think I am better than everyone else, but what this business really misses is prestigious. Doubtful very many can even spell that word, leave alone know what it means. Or how to live by it. I might be a cruel bitch, but I still have something called honor. Hence I will not need to bend the rules to destroy the picture you painted for yourself, Shawn. Burst your bubble as the cool kids used to say.”
For a moment the expression on her face seemed frozen, before she bursted out laughing. In her typical manner she shrugged her shoulders before straightening her shoulders. She pulled herself closer to the camera, her face filling out the focus.
“What is there to expect from you, Shawn? A lot of blah blah where you think you make a point- when we all know you don’t. You will tell me how great you are, considering you hold two titles. Or that you are unbeaten in Project Honor. What else was there? Oh yes, that you are the Number two in the Elite thing. Well done, you want a cookie? I ask you now directly, do you really think that your usual hocus pocus does work on someone like me? I have been traveling the rings of this world for over 16 years. I’ve ended careers and started them. And all of this time I have done it by being Elena DeDraca. I didn’t create an alter ego to get the job done. Or to hide from the bad bad things that needed to be done. I don’t wanna hit below the belt, but that is what someone does with balls. Go and figure what that means for you then. There is no mercy left. No matter how much we try to be friends with other competitors, it's all just a fragile construct we try to believe. Something that will make you feel better after every match. But reality is a different one. You want something, you have to fight for it. No regrets, no hard feelings.”
“So let me close with this, fuck being generous. I don’t care for you, Shawn. And I am too old and tired to pretend anything else. Maybe this will be our only chance to encounter, no one knows with that draft coming up. But I will make you one promise and it's a pretty big one. You will remember this for the rest of your life. The one time that your cheating and big mouth couldn’t get you what you wanted. I never bite off more than I can chew. And you my lovely is nothing more than a snack. Whatever happens to you come our match, you may blame yourself for it. From now on I won’t take any blame or feel sorry for anyone. If you can’t do your job, how is that my problem? I will read your clever responses on social media, right?”
“You are welcome.”
