Post by Ratball Slade on Apr 10, 2022 20:50:10 GMT -5
MEATBALL: Hmph. So first we get this crazy chick who didn’t seem to know what in the hell she was doing, then this other guy comes in and says he’s running the place but entrusts it to another person? Now this new guy is making me talk about himself! What in the hell am I supposed to make of all this?
Meatball takes a puff of his cigar then spits on the carpeted floor beneath him. The female interviewer seems grossed out by the act but makes no mention of it when continuing the interview.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: Okay so… Meatball… now that Mark Hunter is in charge do you see anything changing in terms of what you may be doing here in Project: Underground?
Meatball sits and thinks for a moment, silently chewing on his cigar. He grips it between his middle and index finger pulling it away from his lips and lets out a cloud of smoke from his lungs.
MEATBALL: Will anything change with me? Nah, honey, you always get the 100% authentic “Big Bad” Meatball. Now, at least with the last person running this show, they saw my talent and understood what I could do for them. I believe I was being groomed to be the first ever Project: Underground Champion. Will this other guy see it that way? I don’t know. I’ll tell you what though, he better see it that way. Just because he’s my boss, doesn’t mean I’m afraid to show him how I got my name. As far as I’m concerned. I’m still on my way to the top, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get there!
Meatball's cigar is about half way down the stem when he puts it back in his mouth. Clenching the cigar in his jaw, Meatball speaks through his teeth.
MEATBALL: (through gritted teeth) We got any tequila around here? I’m thirsty.
A member of the camera crew can be heard running away to fetch Meatballs drink. Meanwhile the interviewer looks through her notes until she finds a suitable question.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: Ah, here we go. So, Meatball, Mark Hunter being a local legend here in Project: Honor, what do you find most admirable about the new GM?
Meatball seems confused initially but answers the question anyways.
MEATBALL: Uhhh… the way he carries himself I suppose. He’s a real dickhead. I like that I guess… I’m sorry, wasn’t this interview for the new GM to get to know us better?
Charisma nods her head reassuring Meatball.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: This is all incredibly important to the new GM. Mark Hunter simply needed clarification on a few things before truly getting started in his new position.
MEATBALL: Alright, continue on I guess…
The woman shuffles through her papers once more searching for a suitable question. Meatball continues to smoke when a crew member comes on screen with a tray holding a full shot glass and a bottle of tequila. Meatball grabs the tray and shoves the crew member off screen before spitting down on him.
MEATBALL: It’s about damn time! When Meatball says get him a drink you get him a goddamn drink! Have it ready next time. Goddamn amateurs…
Meatball drinks the shot then shatters the glass on the ground startling Charisma causing her to rush through her notes faster. Meatball unscrews the lid on the tequila and begins to drink straight from the bottle, hardly reacting to the hard liquor. Meatball takes a breath after his gulp then begins to urge the interviewer to speed up.
MEATBALL: Listen lady, if I’m gonna make a good impression, I need some damn questions to answer, so get your shit together or you’ll be needing to do more than worry about what Mark Hunter is gonna do to yuh’.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: Alright, I’m sorry, I got one here. Meatball, what is your favorite Mark Hunter Match and what was your favorite moment from it?
MEATBALL: ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW?! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!
Charisma cowers into her chair before repeating the question.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry… This is just what I was told to ask… What is your favorite Mark Hunter Match?
MEATBALL: I don’t goddamn know. I was only here for two of ‘em, so I guess the one where he walked out on the guy drowning. That was some classic bad guy shit. Any questions about me?
CHARISMA CARPENTER: Uhh… how about this one… If you could take Mark Hunter anywhere to eat, where would you go?
Before saying another word Meatball grabs the papers from Charisma’s hands and throws them to the ground. He takes a swig of tequila then dumps it onto the scattered documents on the floor.
MEATBALL: Last chance to ask a real fuckin’ question. I suggest you get it right.
Charisma is pressed all the way against the back of her chair with her eyes closed bracing for an attack at any moment. She takes a deep breath and opens her eyes to the sight of the behemoth that is Meatball standing over her. She clears her throat and asks another question.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: Why is Meatball the most dominant competitor in Project: Underground? Are you someone Mark Hunter can trust with the future of the brand?
Meatball smiles and nods his head while taking a seat.
MEATBALL: Very good girly, that was a great question. Let me tell you why Meatball is the Baddest dude in town. I got the size, the athleticism, and the temperament to take out all these pansy asses in Project: Underground and put’em in a hospital any day of the week. I can walk the walk, but I can also talk the talk. When you give me a microphone, I ain’t just gonna murder them in the ring, I’ll murder’em with words too. I’m a bad, bad man. I do this for fun. So you can go tell that little prick that if he wants someone who’s as much of a dick as he is, well he’s got his man. Hell, that lil’ phony ain’t even scratching the surface of how bad he can be. I’ll be the one to show him that.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: Thank you Meatball. I believe that was all of the question I had. You never answered the question before though. Where would you take Mark Hunter…
Before Charisma can finish her sentence Meatball grabs her by the hair as she lets out a loud scream, pleading for the crew to help. Only one of the members tries to intervene as Meatball takes him out with a single strike.
MEATBALL: This interview is over bitch. You wanna know where I would take him to eat so bad?!
Meatball lifts the woman onto his shoulders and walks to a position for the camera to get a good view. With his face buried between her legs Meatball can be heard saying something.
MEATBALL: (muffled) Probably a local bar and grill, I don’t know…
And with that Meatball brings her down into one of the chairside tables with a vicious powerbomb. Two distinct cracks can be heard. One presumably being the table, the other one originating from somewhere within Charisma’s Body. While the crew attend to the unconscious woman, Meatball turns his attention to the camera.
MEATBALL: While I’m on camera anyways, I might as well get this damn shoot out of the way too, huh?
Meatball steps over Carpenter’s crumpled body, shoving aside the crew checking on her to get through.
MEATBALL: Kurtis Slayne! It sounds to me like you got some real daddy issues. My condolences. It’s too bad you don’t have a daddy here to save you. You know, I grew up in a household where my father wasn’t much in the picture either. As a matter of fact, I didn’t know my momma either. That kinda life, growing up without direction. It causes guys like us to fight to survive. You found solace in some things, I found it in others but it still left us as some of the scummiest people on this planet and I love it. We were always meant to be the bad guys Slayne. It brings a smile to my face seeing you embrace that much like I do.
Meatball bends over to pick up the bottle of spilled tequila. He takes a drink then throws the bottle away as his eyes search the floor.
MEATBALL: Now, unfortunately for you, there can only be one biggest, and baddest of them all. Well daddio, you’re lookin’ straight at him.
Meatball finds what he is looking for on the ground as he leans over to pick up his hair and dirt covered cigar. It’s still burning dimly through all of the chaos. He takes a puff of it causing it to light up and burn quicker.
MEATBALL: (through gritted teeth) I hate to say it kid, but there ain’t no way you’re leaving that ring in one piece. Your frail little body will be turned to dust under the weight of a guy like me. There’s plenty at stake here, and it sounds to me like Mark Hunter is lookin’ for his top man to help him run this place. Well I hate to say it but that man is me. Certainly not the guy who attacked him on his return. So, little Kurtis, before I leave you slain in that ring, why don’t you be like your dog and hang out. End your suffering by your own hands instead of increasing your suffering by mine.
Meatball chuckles then spits the nearly finished cigar out of his mouth.
MEATBALL: I hope I struck a nerve there. When we are out there under those lights, perhaps you could pretend I’m one of the various abusive manwhores your mother kept around. That way when I squash you it can feel just like old times. Maybe you can get some peace of mind in that fucked up little head of yours. Under different circumstances, I think you’d make a fine henchmen, maybe even equal. I’d have to stuff you with some of my world famous spaghetti to build you up a bit but I am getting off track.
The crew are frantically trying to pull Charisma away from the interview set when Meatball turns back toward the group. He throws the crew away, grabs, and lifts her by the back of her head. He holds her up facing the camera. She is unconsciously dangling high above the ground while Meatball smirks behind her.
MEATBALL: Pipsqueak like you? Bound to get on my nerves, let me just tell you. You don’t wanna annoy me and end up like this one. When that happens, the plan is simple. A little bit of execution goes a long way.
Meatball drops Charisma to the floor with a hard thud. He then grabs her arms and lifts her into a Package Piledriver position now. He brings her skull first into the cement floor with his signature, “Executing the Plan.” Her lifeless body flops over while he sits there, smiling and content with his work. He picks up the remaining bit of cigar and puts it between his teeth as he tries to get what little is left out of it.
MEATBALL: (through gritted teeth) It’s always a bad time when you’re face to face with the Big Bad Meatball. Under new management? Things are only gonna get worse for everyone but me. HAHAHAHAHA!
Meatball continues to laugh boisterously, as the camera pans away slowly fading to black leaving only the logo, “Big Bad Inc.”
Meatball takes a puff of his cigar then spits on the carpeted floor beneath him. The female interviewer seems grossed out by the act but makes no mention of it when continuing the interview.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: Okay so… Meatball… now that Mark Hunter is in charge do you see anything changing in terms of what you may be doing here in Project: Underground?
Meatball sits and thinks for a moment, silently chewing on his cigar. He grips it between his middle and index finger pulling it away from his lips and lets out a cloud of smoke from his lungs.
MEATBALL: Will anything change with me? Nah, honey, you always get the 100% authentic “Big Bad” Meatball. Now, at least with the last person running this show, they saw my talent and understood what I could do for them. I believe I was being groomed to be the first ever Project: Underground Champion. Will this other guy see it that way? I don’t know. I’ll tell you what though, he better see it that way. Just because he’s my boss, doesn’t mean I’m afraid to show him how I got my name. As far as I’m concerned. I’m still on my way to the top, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get there!
Meatball's cigar is about half way down the stem when he puts it back in his mouth. Clenching the cigar in his jaw, Meatball speaks through his teeth.
MEATBALL: (through gritted teeth) We got any tequila around here? I’m thirsty.
A member of the camera crew can be heard running away to fetch Meatballs drink. Meanwhile the interviewer looks through her notes until she finds a suitable question.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: Ah, here we go. So, Meatball, Mark Hunter being a local legend here in Project: Honor, what do you find most admirable about the new GM?
Meatball seems confused initially but answers the question anyways.
MEATBALL: Uhhh… the way he carries himself I suppose. He’s a real dickhead. I like that I guess… I’m sorry, wasn’t this interview for the new GM to get to know us better?
Charisma nods her head reassuring Meatball.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: This is all incredibly important to the new GM. Mark Hunter simply needed clarification on a few things before truly getting started in his new position.
MEATBALL: Alright, continue on I guess…
The woman shuffles through her papers once more searching for a suitable question. Meatball continues to smoke when a crew member comes on screen with a tray holding a full shot glass and a bottle of tequila. Meatball grabs the tray and shoves the crew member off screen before spitting down on him.
MEATBALL: It’s about damn time! When Meatball says get him a drink you get him a goddamn drink! Have it ready next time. Goddamn amateurs…
Meatball drinks the shot then shatters the glass on the ground startling Charisma causing her to rush through her notes faster. Meatball unscrews the lid on the tequila and begins to drink straight from the bottle, hardly reacting to the hard liquor. Meatball takes a breath after his gulp then begins to urge the interviewer to speed up.
MEATBALL: Listen lady, if I’m gonna make a good impression, I need some damn questions to answer, so get your shit together or you’ll be needing to do more than worry about what Mark Hunter is gonna do to yuh’.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: Alright, I’m sorry, I got one here. Meatball, what is your favorite Mark Hunter Match and what was your favorite moment from it?
MEATBALL: ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW?! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!
Charisma cowers into her chair before repeating the question.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry… This is just what I was told to ask… What is your favorite Mark Hunter Match?
MEATBALL: I don’t goddamn know. I was only here for two of ‘em, so I guess the one where he walked out on the guy drowning. That was some classic bad guy shit. Any questions about me?
CHARISMA CARPENTER: Uhh… how about this one… If you could take Mark Hunter anywhere to eat, where would you go?
Before saying another word Meatball grabs the papers from Charisma’s hands and throws them to the ground. He takes a swig of tequila then dumps it onto the scattered documents on the floor.
MEATBALL: Last chance to ask a real fuckin’ question. I suggest you get it right.
Charisma is pressed all the way against the back of her chair with her eyes closed bracing for an attack at any moment. She takes a deep breath and opens her eyes to the sight of the behemoth that is Meatball standing over her. She clears her throat and asks another question.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: Why is Meatball the most dominant competitor in Project: Underground? Are you someone Mark Hunter can trust with the future of the brand?
Meatball smiles and nods his head while taking a seat.
MEATBALL: Very good girly, that was a great question. Let me tell you why Meatball is the Baddest dude in town. I got the size, the athleticism, and the temperament to take out all these pansy asses in Project: Underground and put’em in a hospital any day of the week. I can walk the walk, but I can also talk the talk. When you give me a microphone, I ain’t just gonna murder them in the ring, I’ll murder’em with words too. I’m a bad, bad man. I do this for fun. So you can go tell that little prick that if he wants someone who’s as much of a dick as he is, well he’s got his man. Hell, that lil’ phony ain’t even scratching the surface of how bad he can be. I’ll be the one to show him that.
CHARISMA CARPENTER: Thank you Meatball. I believe that was all of the question I had. You never answered the question before though. Where would you take Mark Hunter…
Before Charisma can finish her sentence Meatball grabs her by the hair as she lets out a loud scream, pleading for the crew to help. Only one of the members tries to intervene as Meatball takes him out with a single strike.
MEATBALL: This interview is over bitch. You wanna know where I would take him to eat so bad?!
Meatball lifts the woman onto his shoulders and walks to a position for the camera to get a good view. With his face buried between her legs Meatball can be heard saying something.
MEATBALL: (muffled) Probably a local bar and grill, I don’t know…
And with that Meatball brings her down into one of the chairside tables with a vicious powerbomb. Two distinct cracks can be heard. One presumably being the table, the other one originating from somewhere within Charisma’s Body. While the crew attend to the unconscious woman, Meatball turns his attention to the camera.
MEATBALL: While I’m on camera anyways, I might as well get this damn shoot out of the way too, huh?
Meatball steps over Carpenter’s crumpled body, shoving aside the crew checking on her to get through.
MEATBALL: Kurtis Slayne! It sounds to me like you got some real daddy issues. My condolences. It’s too bad you don’t have a daddy here to save you. You know, I grew up in a household where my father wasn’t much in the picture either. As a matter of fact, I didn’t know my momma either. That kinda life, growing up without direction. It causes guys like us to fight to survive. You found solace in some things, I found it in others but it still left us as some of the scummiest people on this planet and I love it. We were always meant to be the bad guys Slayne. It brings a smile to my face seeing you embrace that much like I do.
Meatball bends over to pick up the bottle of spilled tequila. He takes a drink then throws the bottle away as his eyes search the floor.
MEATBALL: Now, unfortunately for you, there can only be one biggest, and baddest of them all. Well daddio, you’re lookin’ straight at him.
Meatball finds what he is looking for on the ground as he leans over to pick up his hair and dirt covered cigar. It’s still burning dimly through all of the chaos. He takes a puff of it causing it to light up and burn quicker.
MEATBALL: (through gritted teeth) I hate to say it kid, but there ain’t no way you’re leaving that ring in one piece. Your frail little body will be turned to dust under the weight of a guy like me. There’s plenty at stake here, and it sounds to me like Mark Hunter is lookin’ for his top man to help him run this place. Well I hate to say it but that man is me. Certainly not the guy who attacked him on his return. So, little Kurtis, before I leave you slain in that ring, why don’t you be like your dog and hang out. End your suffering by your own hands instead of increasing your suffering by mine.
Meatball chuckles then spits the nearly finished cigar out of his mouth.
MEATBALL: I hope I struck a nerve there. When we are out there under those lights, perhaps you could pretend I’m one of the various abusive manwhores your mother kept around. That way when I squash you it can feel just like old times. Maybe you can get some peace of mind in that fucked up little head of yours. Under different circumstances, I think you’d make a fine henchmen, maybe even equal. I’d have to stuff you with some of my world famous spaghetti to build you up a bit but I am getting off track.
The crew are frantically trying to pull Charisma away from the interview set when Meatball turns back toward the group. He throws the crew away, grabs, and lifts her by the back of her head. He holds her up facing the camera. She is unconsciously dangling high above the ground while Meatball smirks behind her.
MEATBALL: Pipsqueak like you? Bound to get on my nerves, let me just tell you. You don’t wanna annoy me and end up like this one. When that happens, the plan is simple. A little bit of execution goes a long way.
Meatball drops Charisma to the floor with a hard thud. He then grabs her arms and lifts her into a Package Piledriver position now. He brings her skull first into the cement floor with his signature, “Executing the Plan.” Her lifeless body flops over while he sits there, smiling and content with his work. He picks up the remaining bit of cigar and puts it between his teeth as he tries to get what little is left out of it.
MEATBALL: (through gritted teeth) It’s always a bad time when you’re face to face with the Big Bad Meatball. Under new management? Things are only gonna get worse for everyone but me. HAHAHAHAHA!
Meatball continues to laugh boisterously, as the camera pans away slowly fading to black leaving only the logo, “Big Bad Inc.”
