POTR VIII | 04/8/2022 : MICHAEL 'HOT SUTFF' JORDAN

Black screen

MARSHALL GREENE V/O: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of ALL ages! Seven shows down, three more to go. Tonight, we present episode number eight of PURSUIT…OF…THE…RING!!!




♫Ladies and Gentlemen, please
Would you bring your attention to me?♫

No longer a blank screen, our view is an aerial shot of North Brother Island in New York City, New York.

♫For a feast for your eyes to see,
An explosion of catastrophe.♫

The obvious drone begins to zip around the structures to be used for Episode eight. The trivia set, the Floor Is Lava set, and a basketball court.

♫Like nothing you’ve ever seen before,
Watch closely as I open this door.♫

We zip around Paul Quinton, the Host of Pursuit Of The Ring, standing outside the entrance to the main building of the show.

♫Your jaws will be on the floor,
After this you’ll be begging for more.♫

He cheeses at the camera as it gets closer to him.

♫Welcome to the show♫

Paul pulls back and smacks the drone, causing it to begin spinning and the screen blacks out.

♫Please come inside♫

We cut to clips from the last show’s matches, starting off with Kit Darling standing in the ring with a rope around the neck of, who we now know is, Andrew Holt.

♫LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!♫

Cut to Hudson throwing Hated R out of the ring with a belly-to-belly Suplex.

♫BOOM! (DO YOU WANT IT?)♫

After that, Hailey falling to the outside mat feet first.

♫BOOM! (DO YOU NEED IT?)♫

Next we see Narcoleptic Ninja being thrown over the top rope, neck first.

♫BOOM! (LET ME HEAR IT?)♫

Followed by a shot of Cooler TJ with a tight grip on Jobber Joe, holding him in the ‘Please Tap’. Meanwhile Chelsea and Lena were fighting in the background…and Tibbagu was chasing Kit Darling around the ring.

♫LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!♫

Trailed by a shot of Brunhilde slamming Jakeem Kobra with the ‘Schildmaid’.

♫BOOM! (DO YOU WANT IT?)♫

Then to Jasiah Andrew Scott being driven into the mat by Omar King by ‘The ROyal Treatment’

♫BOOM! (DO YOU NEED IT?)♫

Interrupted by Cooler TJ Thompson, Chelsea Kennedy, and Tibbagu celebrating after completing the six and final puzzle of the Memory Challenge.

♫BOOM! (LET ME HEAR IT?)♫

Brunhilde Leichenberg running across the top of the large dominos for the Physical Challenge victory.

♫LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!♫

And finally Brunhilde holding up the white board for Christian DeMarco, Omar King, and herself…showing the right answer to win the Trivia Challenge.







Before the challenges can start. It's a very happy moment as Omar King stands in front of the cameras. He stands alone with a big ass cheesy grin on his face.

OMAR KING: Ladies and gents, welcome to THE OMAR KING SHOW! Imma ya main attraction and ya gonna see why when imma out there showin' these poor ass peasants how it's done. None of them come close to how amazin' imma doin'. That ain't about to stop anytime soon so ya either better accept it or fuck off. Seriously, imma wait for any of ya to fuck around cause ya gonna find out that when I shoot, I don't fuckin' miss!!! So if any of ya got anything to say ya know where imma be, imma be runnin' the show as always and puttin' ya all back in ya places. So get in line and realize that imma rule over all of ya whether ya want it to happen or not.

When he was done, Omar King grins at the camera before putting his cup of lean up to his mouth and drinking half the cup down in one swig. Still with a grin on his face, Omar makes his way out of shot.

Finally a new scene comes into view as we find ourselves on a three-quarter enclosed soundstage. The large ‘Pursuit Of The Ring’ logo display hangs on the background as we see a man walk onto the burnt orange empty set, dressed in a pair of dress pants and a black t-shirt with Project: Honor’s newest affiliate’s logo on it…Infinite Pro Wrestling. He walks onto the empty side of the room and flashes his usual smirk..

PAUL QUINTON: Welcome everyone to the eighth episode of this failed experiment, where points are given out like candy on Halloween and our contestants still act like they are children. With only two more shows left after this, we are getting close to crowning a winner and handing away our crackerjack-looking plastic ring for someone to sell on Ebay when they can’t find a job after this.

Paul continues his sarcastic grin.

PAUL QUINTON: But before we all get our pink slips and our set is bulldozed to make room for a parking lot…let’s discuss tonight’s show, shall we? Just like our past shows, we will place our entertainers-slash-contestants up against each other in three different challenges: A trivia challenge, a physical challenge, and a specialty challenge. The winner of each of these challenges will not only gain a point towards the final season standing…but gains an advantage later in the show, during the wrestling match portion of our little sideshow. At THAT time…everyone will be involved in a match of some sorts. The winners of the three earlier challenges will get to choose one person they would like to face one-on-one. The winner of those wrestling matches gets an additional two points, while the losers LOSE a point. As for the rest of the people who didn’t win a challenge and weren’t handpicked? Well they will face off in a large battle royal to see who gets that two point advantage AND who will receive that negative one point disadvantage.

Paul fakes a frown.

PAUL QUINTON: The people at the top of the rankings don’t have to worry…but some of our idiots treading at the bottom have to. At this point its become as big a race to the bottom as it has to the top. As for TONIGHT’S trivia challenge, we once again have jumbled it all up and rolled the dice. Originally planned for teams of three with a judge or two jumping in the lime-light…it seems that we have not one…BUT TWO absolute morons who forgot to set their alarms. Pedo ‘Jobber’ Joe and that fat bastard in spandex, Narcoleptic Ninja, have not made it to set and thus have been removed from participating…not just in this challenge…but for the WHOLE show.

Fake surprised.

PAUL QUINTON: WHATEVER SHALL WE DO?

…

PAUL QUINTON: Okay then, our teams tonight…

Paul walks to his podium as the camera pans out to show the three teams of four, standing in front of large desks with a button in front of them.

Jakeem Kobra, Hudson, Kit Darling, and Brunhilde Leichenberg.

Cooler TJ Thompson, Chelsea Kennedy, Tibbagu, and Omar King.

Then finally Jasiah Andrew Scott, Hated R, Lena Soulas, and Hailey Storm.

PAUL QUINTON: Now Lena, I need to you be strong. You are the divider between Hailey and Hated R. And if for some ungodly reason she breaks through you, we may never see Hated R again.

OMAR KING: Homie, he wouldn’t know to do with that hot little piece. Over there lookin’ like a fine wine that I just need to DRINK up. Yum!

HATED R: Least I’m not the one who brought another man onto the island with them. Walkin’ round with a man hanging off his diq.

Omar’s eyes light up, enraged.

OMAR KING: What you sayin’ homie? Don’t make me break you AGAIN. I don’t miss.

PAUL QUINTON: And with that…we move to the rules. Every show we will begin with a trivia challenge for all of our contestants. The rules change frequently, so much so that I’m sure the viewers at home don’t even understand what’s going on. I guess the top brass likes to keep things fresh and exciting…or they just haven’t been able to grasp a good idea and keep changing it to try something ‘new’. Tonight, you three teams will get a buzzer. I will ask the question…you hit the buzzer to answer it. First team to get two right, wins. Simple enough.








PAUL QUINTON: Question number One! Nintendo began as a company that sold WHICH products?

Barely a second goes by, before Tibbagu hits the buzzer…with Hudson hitting it milliseconds after.


PAUL QUINTON: Tibbagu, you are first. What is your answer?

TIBBAGU: Sex toys!

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: …what?

TIBBAGU: Joystick…rumble pack…it only makes sense.

PAUL QUINTON: Ugh, fuck me!

TIBBAGU: That’s the right attitude!

PAUL QUINTON: Hudson…please tell me you have the real answer.

HUDSON: Playing Cards.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: THAT IS CORRECT!

An image of the playing cards appear on the monitor behind Paul.



PAUL QUINTON: In September of eighteen-eighty-nine, a gentleman named Fusajiro Yamauchi started a business making Hanafuda cards. He called the company Nintendo Koppai. Okay, next question.




PAUL QUINTON: Question Two: In the ‘Pac-Man’ video game, what is the name of the orange ghost?

Everyone looks around…trying to come up with an answer. But nobody hits the buzzer.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: Oh, time ran out. The answer we were looking for…was ‘Clyde’. Or in Japan, he is known as Guzuta. We would have taken either one, but no one even took a guess. So…moving onto question three.





PAUL QUINTON: Question three. In which game do players compete in the future version of soccer with cars?

Before Paul can even finish the word ‘cars’, Chelsea Kennedy hits the button.

CHELSEA KENEDY: Rocket League!

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Point for team two! Did you know that Rocket League is actually a sequel? The first game from Psyonix, was called ‘Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket-Powered Battle Cars’ and came out for the PS-Three. Needless to say, it sucked donkey balls.

Paul takes a pause to breath, only for the microphones to pick up some unwanted whispering

HAILEY STORM: I’m sure yours are the size of a donkeys. And I’d love to su-

Hailey realizes everyone is looking at her, and not just Hated R. She stops talking and clears her throat.

PAUL QUINTON: There are so many hormones in this room, it’s like Junior High all over again. Onto question four.




PAUL QUINTON: Question four. Team three needs this to stay in it…team one and team two need it for the win. Similar to a gaggle of geese or a business of badgers, there is a special name for a group of Endermen in the game Minecraft…what is it?

A slight pause hangs over the contestants again, with the fear of yet ANOTHER missed question. But then Omar King jumps forward and hits the button on his team’s desk.

PAUL QUINTON: Omar King, for the team two win…

OMAR KING: A group of Endermen is call’d a ‘haunting’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: AND TEAM TWO WINS!!!

Confetti drops down onto TJ, Chelsea, Tibbagu, and Omar. Chelsea high fives TJ then turns to her other side to see Tibbagu leaning in for a kiss. She hauls off and slaps him, causing him drop to the ground. We then move to the camera’s in the back interview room. There is a bottle of champagne on the table in front of where Omar King is sitting with a woman either side of him. There's a cocky grin on his face as usual when things are going right for him.

OMAR KING: As ya can see, imma chill, sit back and enjoy my night with these two beautiful and lucky ladies. Ya see, imma always celebrate in style and do it bigger than any of ya. POTR is now my show, it's all about me and that's the way it's gonna stay. Ya couldn't do anything when POTR got taken over by me and ya not about to either. Just strap in and enjoy the ride of ya life. Imma keep winnin' and imma keep ownin' this show... THE OMAR KING SHOW!!!

After he was done, Omar King grabs the champagne and opens it…aiming the cork from it. Both the girls say "When Omar King shoots, he don't miss." They both giggle as Omar smirks as he pours the champagne for the three of them. We then cut to ANOTHER interview room…this time with Cooler TJ.

MATTHEW KESSLER: You’ve done it again, and you find yourself competing for more points. This season has to be exhausting for you. You’re wrestling after all those stressful challenges. How are you holding up?

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: I might have the flu, I have a migraine, and my bones don’t feel right. But that’s nothing twelve aspirins won’t fix! I’m close to the end and I can’t afford to take time off to see what my bones are up to.

MATTHEW KESSLER: Truly an inspiration to us all. With you putting your health on the line, are you looking for a challenge or a quick win?

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: A mix of both. I got my Jobber Joe match out of the way so I feel like it would be sad to do that two matches in a row. I’m still figuring it out, but I think I have someone in mind. Don’t worry about it. Y’all will find out in due time. Just know that I’m taking this dub.

MATTHEW KESSLER: Last question. What does winning this competition mean to you?

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: What is this, an essay? Winning is fun. Winning gets me bitches. So therefore, I wanna win! It’s not some deep reasoning. Anyway, time to dash!

Fade to commercial.


















Back from the commercial, we see Paul Quinton standing in front of a POTR Logo, with a large monitor to his right.


PAUL QUINTON: And we are back for our most LOYAL fanbase. You know, the one’s who couldn’t get a date for Friday Night or just don’t have any friends to go out with? Yep! We can be your date tonight! Especially for tonight’s PHYSICAL Challenge…where Floor Is Lava makes a comeback with Basement Level Two!




A video plays on a monitor, showing a bit of the Floor is Lava Basement Level.



PAUL QUINTON: We, again, were going to break everyone up into teams of two and have six teams. BUT…when our producers went to go get Hailey Storm and Lena Soulas…there rooms were empty. Same thing with Kit Darling and Hated R. So…something fishy is going on here. But for now? We have teams of Jasiah and TJ, Hudson & Tibbagu, Kobra and Brunhilde, then King and Kennedy. So Jasiah and TJ!

Jasiah Andrew Scott and Cooler TJ Thompson can be seen at the doorway to the ‘Basement’.

*HORN*

Jasiah jumps from the entryway and lands on the small box below, only to slip and fall face-first into the lava. Cooler TJ watches in horror, just shaking his head.

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Nope. I’m not doing this. Not with my teammate already face-planting into the red lake here.

PAUL QUINTON: Oh, did I forget to mention the fun change we added to this? If you make it across, despite whether you win the challenge or not, you receive ten points added to your Points Total for the show standings.

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Ten points, huh?

PAUL QUINTON: Yep.

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Is it for me only? Or do I have to share the ten points with numbnuts who just nosedived?

PAUL QUINTON: If YOU as an individual, complete the course…YOU as an individual, get the points.

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Say no more, fam.

Cooler TJ jumps down off the entry way onto the small box and lands just fine.



Quickly he jumps to the first BIG box.



PAUL QUINTON: Cooler TJ not wasting ANY time.

Cooler TJ eyes up the second big box, takes a step back…then JUMPS FORWARD ONTO IT!



Looking at the stack of boxes against the wall, he instead turns and jumps to the middle of the basement, onto the Pyramid.



PAUL QUINTON: Half-way through the course and TJ has his eyes on the prize.

TJ climbs to the top of the pyramid, looks at the tall tower one way and the tomb the other way. He quickly decides to jump onto the tomb…using running slightly down the side of the pyramid and pushing off…BARELY grabbing onto the side of the tomb and pulling himself up.



PAUL QUINTON: Now all that is between TJ and ten points, is a log rope swing. But I’m not sure if he ca-

Before Paul could finish his sentence, TJ takes a running start and jumps…grabbing onto the cargo net and SWINGING his legs out as far as they could get. At the height of the swing, TJ let go of the net and landed perfectly on the bottom step of the exit.



Cooler TJ climbs up the two steps and hits the button, signaling the end of his successful run.

*HORN*

TJ celebrates as Paul is absolutely dumbfounded.

PAUL QUINTON: What in the name of spiderman was that? It was like I just watched some sort of carnival-acrobatic routine, the way he swung so gracefully to the other side.

The second team, consisting of Hudson and Tibbagu, steps up next to Paul.

PAUL QUINTON: I’ve got nothing to say. I’m still dumbfounded by what just happened.

*HORN*

Hudson quickly hopped onto the small box, quickly followed by Tibbagu. Tibbs almost falls in, but Hudson grabs him and pulls him onto the box.



Hudson jumped to the second box, quickly followed by Tibbagu.



Then both to the third box.



But then, instead of jumping to the pyramid, Tibbagu went forward onto the large stack of boxes.



To which he climbed up the side, over the top, and down the right…to grab a large wooden staff that was hanging on the wall.

HUDSON: Hang tight!

Hudson decided to follow TJ’s path and hop onto the pyramid, but shimmied his way over to the tower located near it…and KICKED it over…giving them both an extra place to step on.



Tibbagu eyes up the new footing, climbs to the top of the box stack and starts judging the distance. Meanwhile Hudson manages to slide slightly down the pyramid and step onto the fallen tower.



With a running start, Hudson takes off and JUMPS…LANDING ON THE BOTTOM STEP!!!



He quickly climbs up and hits the button, signaling that he made it and he is now safe.

HUDSON: Okay, Tibbagu. You get onto the tower, run, jump…and I’ll catch you.

Tibbagu listening to the big man, does just that. He jumps down onto the fallen tower, near the base.



Tibbagu takes a step, uses the staff like a pole-vault…AND FLIES OVER THE LAVA AND INTO HUDSON’S AWAITING ARMS ON THE STAIRS!!!



Hudson quickly puts Tibbagu down as both both brush themselves off, make some ‘manly’ poses to forget the romantic scene we just saw, then Tibbagu hits the button.

*HORN*

PAUL QUINTON: And with that, Hudson and Tibbagu are in the lead! But now I question who is on top.

Paul winks at the camera as Jakeem and Brunhilde walk up next to him. Paul turns and looks at Brunhilde.

PAUL QUINTON: I’d be your top any day, my sweet little Hefezopf.

*HORN*

Brunhilde winks at Paul and steps forward, not noticing that Jakeem had stepped in front of her. She accidentally pushes him forward, causing him to fall through the doorway and head first into the lava.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: NO! SNAKE MAN!!!

Brunhilde tries to grab for him, but her reflexes weren’t good enough to catch him. Meanwhile, she had stepped onto the edge of the doorway and caught a slick spot and fell straight down herself, into the bubbling ‘lava’.

PAUL QUINTON: Well…shit…

Omar King and Chelsea Kennedy stand behind Paul. Paul turns and looks at them both.

PAUL QUINTON: I guess it is -

OMAR KING: So Paul, I hear you’ve been disrespectful to this fine young thing right here.

PAUL QUINTON: Well, I -

OMAR KING: Naw, you’re gonna listen up. Chelsea here, is a breath of fresh air. And if I EVER hear you utter any negativity her way again, I’mma give you the Benjamin Broadwater treatment and send your ass out Pursuit as well. And remember, when I shoot…I don’t miss. Ya feel me?

*HORN*

Before hearing an answer, Chelsea squats down and jumps down to the small box on the course.



Meanwhile Omar had watched Chelsea squat and jump, then slaps Paul lightly in the chest.

OMAR KING: How can you be hatin’ on that? This why I be out there clappin’ and you be in here fappin’.

And with that, Omar King jumps down as well.



Chelsea hops onto the first big box, followed very closely by Omar as he kept an eye on her.



Chelsea hopped to the third box, as did Omar.



CHELSEA KENEDY: I’ve seen this episode! You hop onto the pyramid…kick over the obelisk…and I’ll go get the staff.

OMAR KING: What kinda kinky games you into, honey?

Chelsea does not look amused.

CHELSEA KENEDY: It’s to shove into the opening on top of the tomb. The top slides over and it makes it easier to get across on the netting.

With an eye roll, Chelsea jumps onto the large stack of boxes against the wall, quickly climbing over them and grabbing the staff that was on the other side.



Omar listens to Chelsea’s directions and hops onto the pyramid. He quickly climbs over to the side of the obelisk and kicks it over, giving Chelsea a clear path.



With the obelisk down in the lava, Chelsea hops down from the front of the boxes and onto it.



CHELSEA KENEDY: Can you jump across onto the tomb?

OMAR KING: Of course!

Omar climbs back to the top, then takes a step down onto the slick side of the pyramid and pushes off…ALMOST falling into the ‘lava’ but grabbing onto the top of the tomb and pulling himself up.



Omar turns as Chelsea holds up the staff.

CHELSEA KENEDY: I’m going to run up onto the pyramid and I need you to grab the stick to balance me. Then I'm going to jump toward you and need you to pull the stick and then catch me. Understand?

OMAR KING: Crystal.

Chelsea, does just as she said…jumping onto the pyramid with the staff tucked under her right armpit. Holding onto the stick with both hands, she manages to get to the other side and lean forward…only for Omar to catch the other side of the staff and balance her. If he had not grabbed her, being almost completely parallel to the lava, she would have fallen in.



CHELSEA KENEDY: Okay, I’m going to jump on the count of three. One…two…THREE!!!

Chelsea pushed off the pyramid and with Omara pulling the staff towards him, she rocketed at him. Without a doubt Chelsea made it, as Omar caught her in his arms.

OMAR KING: Hey, baby gurl.



Chelsea slid out of his arms and kept her eyes locked on Omar. With a look of discontent, she ammed the staff down into a hole at the top of the tomb. Slowly the top of the tomb slid toward the exit, making the swing on the netting a bit easier.

CHELSEA KENEDY: Let’s just finish this and get our points.

OMAR KING: Oh, I plan on getting those digits alright.

Chelsea turned and ran, jumping off the edge of the tomb, grabbing the net and swinging to the bottom step.



Without looking back, she climbed the stairs and hit the button. She had made it.

OMAR KING: Mmmm, I like when they play hard to get.

Omar quickly followed exactly what Chelsea did…but landing one step higher, before climbing up and hitting the button.



*HORN*

PAUL QUINTON: And both Omar and Chelsea made it across! This is DEFINITELY different than the last time we had a Floor is Lava set. But we now have two teams who had both members cross. Hudson and Tibbagu made it in two minutes and twenty-seven seconds. Omar and Chelsea? Two minutes…and twenty-EIGHT seconds!!! HUDSON AND TIBBAGU WIN!!!

Chelsea can be seen giving a dirty look to Omar.

CHELSEA KENEDY: If you didn’t decide to ‘spit game’ at me…

Chelsea makes quotations in the air.

CHELSEA KENEDY: …that would have been us with the win.

Fade to the back room.

AURORA BIGGS: Uh, excuse me, Mr. Ian sir, we are supposed to be interviewing Hudson.

AL IAN: He was late getting up this morning so he is currently out doing his morning training. I can answer any questions for him.

AURORA BIGGS: Okay... There are many events you don't have a good track record in, do you have any ideas how you can make improvements?

AL IAN: Oh my dear Aurora, I'm not competing nor have I competed!

AURORA BIGGS: Yes, that question was meant for Hudson...

AL IAN: Oh! Right, right... Well, as we've said in the past, we are simply here for the ride. Hudson has proven himself time and time again in the ring and while his only talents are baking, athletic competition, and following orders, he has heart. What more could you ask for in a butler?

AURORA BIGGS: Mr. Ian... are you aware of some of the things not only watchers at home but also Hudson have been saying about you?

AL IAN: I'm perfectly aware of what the fans at home have been saying about me but that is old news, Hudson however, what has he been saying?

AURORA BIGGS: Well he's beginning to think that...

The door to the interview room opens...

HUDSON: Sorry I'm late everyone... Oh, hello master. I see you've all started without me.

AURORA BIGGS: Nonsense! Let me go ahead and ask the man himself what Al had originally answered in your place. There are many events you don't have a good track record in, do you have any ideas how you can make improvements?

HUDSON: You know, I just keep going and never give up. What more can a person do? Try your hardest and you will get out of it what you put in.

AL IAN: Right, but let's not forget the real reason why we're here!

HUDSON: Yes, Master…

Al Ian keeps on smiling, as we go to commercial break.



















Back from commercial break and we find ourselves looking at Paul Quinton standing in an open basketball court. Behind him is a hoop , a three point line painted on the ground, and a few racks of basketballs.

PAUL QUINTON: Hello again folks. Seems you’ve made it this far into the show and I give you props. But what I CAN’T give you, is the will to live. This show actually sucks that away.

Paul smiles.

PAUL QUINTON: Tonight we were supposed to do a large game of H.O.R.S.E., but it seems now…that Jakeem Kobra, Brunhilde Leichenberg, and Jasiah Andrew Scott can not be located. That coupled with the other missing six individuals has the producers in a panic and have decided to put the remaining five people here, in a three-point contest. Easy rules. You have thirty seconds and three racks of basketballs with three balls in each. The winner is the one who makes the most baskets. NOW…once that horn blows to signal your thirty seconds are up…a second timer of only ten seconds begins.

The camera pans out to show Paul is standing near a fourth rack, with one golden basketball. It is about a half-court away.

PAUL QUINTON: The contestant has to run to this rack, pick up the golden basketball and try their best to make a half-court shot. While THIS ball doesn’t count towards the three-point contest, it does add an additional fifteen-points to their point standings.

Paul looks off camera.

PAUL QUINTON: Fifteen points? What the hell happened to the weeks of four point max shows? Jesus, it’s like we’re giving the points away for them not shitting themselves live on camera.

We cut away from Paul to see Tibbagu standing at the first rack.

*HORN*

Tibbagu reaches over and plucks up the first ball…aiming it…and firing it…

*AIRBALL*

*BRICK*

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Quit clowning around, Tibbagu. You only have eighteen seconds left.

Tibbagu slowly walks over to the second rack.

*DING*

*BRICK*

*HORN*

*BRICK*

PAUL QUINTON: His nonchalant attitude cost him here, as he only fired off six and only hit two. But…the ten second clock has started and Tibbagu isn’t even going for the half-court ball. TIBBAGU!!!

Tibbagu looks up and sees the clock, running towards the middle-court rack, but he trips and falls and crashes into it...the golden ball rolling away.

*HORN*

PAUL QUINTON: Poor showing!

We now see Hudson step up as the crew has reset all the other racks.

*HORN*

Hudson grabs the first basketball and begins to fire them from beyond the three point line.

*DING*

*DING*

*BRICK*

PAUL QUINTON: Twenty-two seconds and he already has tied Tibbagu for the lead

*DING*

*DING*

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Thirteen seconds and Hudson has five of six. He moves to the third and final rack.

*BRICK*

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Five seconds and he takes a breather for a moment to compose himself.

*DING*

*HORN*

PAUL QUINTON: Seven of nine! The ten second timer has started and Hudson runs to the mid-court rack. He grabs the golden ball…aims…SHOOTS…

*HORN*

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: AND THAT’S AN ADDITIONAL FIFTEEN POINTS FOR HUDSON! THIS MAN IS ON FIRE!!!

Chelsea Kennedy steps up to the first rack as Hudson walks off the court with his hands raised.

*HORN*

She grabs the first ball and begins shooting.

*DING*

*BRICK*

*BRICK*

PAUL QUINTON: That’s only one. Twenty seconds left.

*DING*

*DING*

*BRICK*

PAUL QUINTON: No chance to catch Hudson, but she already has three.

*DING*

*BRICK*

*HORN*

PAUL QUINTON: Four of the nine, not bad. Chelsea runs to the half-court Golden Ball rack.

*AIRBALL*

*HORN*

Chelsea Kennedy steps up to the first rack as Hudson walks off the court with his hands raised.

*HORN*

She grabs the first ball and begins shooting.

*DING*

*BRICK*

*BRICK*

PAUL QUINTON: That’s only one. Twenty seconds left.

*DING*

*DING*

*BRICK*

PAUL QUINTON: No chance to catch Hudson, but she already has three.

*DING*

*BRICK*

*HORN*

PAUL QUINTON: Four of the nine, not bad. Chelsea runs to the half-court Golden Ball rack.

*AIRBALL*

*HORN*

PAUL QUINTON: Aw, no points for Chelsea! But she put on a good show. Next up, is Cooler TJ Thompson.

Cooler TJ can be seen holding his hand out over the rack.

*HORN*

hHe grabs the first ball and begins shooting like a man focused!

*DING*

*DING*

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: THREE FOR THREE!!!

*DING*

*DING*

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: SIX FOR SIX!!! HUDSON IS IN TROUBLE!!!

Cooler TJ runs to the final rack…but it’s empty. He looks around, confused and angered.

PAUL QUINTON: WHERE THE HELL ARE THE BALLS???

A crew member runs up and pushes a brand new rack of balls to TJ…

*BRICK*

*BRICK*

*HORN*

PAUL QUINTON: What the hell was that shit? That hiccup just could have caused TJ to lose this challenge.

TJ runs to the half-court ball and grabs it, aiming, shooting…

*BRICK*

*HORN*

PAUL QUINTON: What kind of operation are we running here?

Omar King walks up to the first rack.

*HORN*

*DING*

But before he can grab the second ball, his attention is pulled by something else.

OMAR KING: Oh…what-do-we-have-here? Who’s the pretty little mama with the pink hair?

PAUL QUINTON: We don’t have anyone with pink hair here. Shoot already!

OMAR KING: Nah, fam.

Omar walks over behind some equipment, the clock ticking away.

OMAR KING: She has a small waist, a pretty face, and a BIG bank.

Ten seconds.

PAUL QUINTON: Well I doubt you’ll catch Hudson now, so it seems like he’s got his second challenge win.

*HORN*

PAUL QUINTON: Okay Mr. I-Don’t-Miss, your ten second timer is running!

Omar breaks away from where he was looking for this ‘pink-haired girl’ and he runs up to the golden ball. He picks it up, but instantly pushes it together…it has no air in it.

OMAR KING: What kind of fucked up game is this? Only way to beat me is to sabotage me?

*HORN*

PAUL QUINTON: What the fuck?

Omar tosses the ball to Paul, who checks it and finds a big hole in the side like someone stabbed it with a knife.

PAUL QUINTON: Well again, Hudson wins this. Let’s go to a commercial while I try to figure out what the hell is going on.


Fade to commercial break.

















Coming back from the last commercial break, we find ourselves in the familiar place of a large gymnasium. A ring is set up with Marshall Greene standing in the middle of it, microphone in hand.

MARSHALL GREENE: Ladies and gentlemen. For our first match tonight…we have a four versus four matchup! Cooler TJ Thompson, Chelsea Kennedy, Tibbagu, and Omar King take on their choices of Lena Soulas, Kit Darling, Jobber Joe and Hated R!!!




The four challengers come down to the ring and wait, but the four they challenged never come to the ring. After a twenty count, the ref calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

MARSHALL GREENE: And your winner by no show…Cooler TJ Thompson, Chelsea Kennedy, Tibbagu, and Omar King!!!




Another cut away…another empty ring.

MARSHALL GREENE: Next up…Hudson won both the Physical AND Specialty Challenges tonight. But since Tibbagu was only allowed to chose one challengee, Hudson was only allowed to choose one. And he chose Jakeem Kobra!!



Again, Hudson comes to the ring and waits for Kobra…but no dice. A twenty count and call for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

MARSHALL GREENE: And your winner by no show, HUDSON!





Another cut away..another empty ring.

MARSHALL GREENE: Our FINAL match of the night is a battle royal between the individuals who were NOT chosen as in the first three matches!



Everyone waits for one of the four to come out…but again…no one does. The ref does the twenty count and calls for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

MARSHALL GREENE: Due to a no show by all the contestants, this match has been ruled a loss to all four individua-



Before Marshall could finish his sentence, ‘Welcome To Horrorwood’ by Ice Nine Kills echos through the gymnasium. Everyone turns their attention to the entrance way to the ring as a man in all black steps out of the back with a baseball bat in his hands. The bat has small silver things sticking out of it…which after he got closer, can be seen that they are razor blades embedded in the wood.

PAUL QUINTON: Who the hell is that?

Following behind the man in black is a young girl with pink hair, a man with face paint on, a man wearing a gatsby hat, a man with a chain wrapped around his abdomen, and a long blonde haired man. All six of them walk down to the ring, up the stairs, and into the center of it. The man in black is handed a microphone by one of the near stagehands.

MAN IN BLACK: What’s up, motherfuckers?

The crowd in the Pursuit Of The Ring gymnasium boo loudly.

MAN IN BLACK: What’s wrong? Did you not get to see the usual shit show matches that you are used to? Were you MISSING some people?

The sarcasm drips off of every word that comes from this man’s mouth.

MAN IN BLACK: Well let me start off by telling you that all of your wimpy little friends are safe and sound back in their beds. They just might have to take a few aspirin when they wake up. Bobby here tells me that chloroform is a BITCH to wake up from.

The man in face paint smirks.

MAN IN BLACK: But where are my manners. Let me introduce myself. My name is Harvey Jameson and I…I am the host of a little show called Sideshow.

The crowd boos louder.

HARVEY JAMESON: And for those who haven’t been playing along and have their head stuck up their ass, Sideshow is the righteous little successor to that SoundCloud bullshit show that Petey runs. Mister DeMarco didn’t want to take control of it once that bald little bitch was done, so instead he-found-us! And ‘us’ is taking place of this cutesy little gameshow on June third. Replacing your little basketball games and Who-Wants-To-Be-A-Millionaire bullshit with some actual entertainment. Light-tubes, tables, fire, explosions. And not some crappy sparklers going off in the corners…fuck that. We are a death match brand that promises to leave bits of its roster in the ring.

Harvey turns and smirks at the pink haired girl.

HARVEY JAMESON: Might be the only shot any of you have at getting a piece of Luna’s ass.

The pink haired girl winks at Harvey.

HARVEY JAMESON: So while you play tiddlywinks and connect four for some little piece of crackerjack jewelry, just know the likes of Nix, Darius, and Chazz are ready to put on a REAL show.

The man in the gatsby hat, the man with the chain, and the man with the long blonde hair all nod their head.

HARVEY JAMESON: Well, I guess there is one good thing to this show. Once it’s over, we get to have one of your contestants and allow him to actually do something with his career.

Harvey looks to the left as Omar King hops over the barricade and slides into the ring. He smirks, nods to Harvey, then steps up next to Chazz behind him.

HARVEY JAMESON: So hey Paul, how about we hurry the fuck up and crown someone Champion on this basic-ass show and get Sideshow started? Finish this shit, I’m ready to see someone bleed.

Harvey flips the microphone out into the crowd as he and the whole Sideshow roster exit the ring (including Omar King).


The crowd boos loudly as the camera’s focus on Paul standing amongst the crowd as well.

PAUL QUINTON: Wow, it seems Harvey and the Sideshow crew have already fired the first shot. I apologize for the lackluster showing tonight, but at least you all got to see a four-way trivia win, Hudson and Tibs tap their toes across the lava, and Hudson sink his way back into the competition with a barrage of threes. Next time we try to make up for what happened tonight, while we find out who knows more about the 80s, try to lose some folks in the treadmill, and see who is killer in the kitchen. Enjoy next week’s shows and we will see you in two weeks! GOODNIGHT FOLKS!!!

The camera pans out as the stagehand continues booing the Sideshow crew who just finished walking into the back. Paul gets farther and farther away from the camera, until it finally just fades out to the Project: Honor logo.