THE F'N EDGE: EPISODE 9

As the intro music fades away, we go into the studio where James Edgebrook and Julius Fairweather are seated behind their double desk and ready to provide a wrap-up of all the latest action from Fallout and Proving Ground!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Welcome to The F’n Edge! I’m your host, James Edgebrook and…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: …and I’m calling bullshit on that! Everyone knows the real host of this motherfucker is the one and only Julius Fairweather!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: We’ll agree to disagree on that point, Julius, although I must admit, it’s great to have you back in the studio! I understand you spent some extra time in Cancun, and after what we went through there, I can’t blame you.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: I don’t know what kind of wet dreams you’ve been having, but the last thing I’d do is spend my motherfucking beach vacation with you!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: But…what about the disguises…and the codenames…and the firefight…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Ixnay on the missionay, motherfucker! What happens in Cancun stays in Cancun! You dig?

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Right…of course. Instead of reminiscing, I guess we’ll jump right into this week’s Elite Ten!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Before we get into the actual Elite Ten list, there are few noteworthy contenders deserving of an honorable mention. First among those would be Mr. Wright and Alyssa Grace, who exited the top ten this week after a tag team loss. While their own inability to function as a team was a major factor in their downfall, we must also recognize The BFG Division for getting the win over them.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Over on the Proving Ground side of things, Mark Hunter may not have captured the Legacy Championship, but everyone had better still have their eyes on that shifty motherfucker. They should also be watching out for Cadillac Jackson and TJ Thompson, cause for a makeshift tag team they’re racking up the wins. Seems to me like those motherfuckers in Phantom Troupe have a pair of teams to prepare for.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: Coming in at number ten this week is someone who’s still fairly new to Project: Honor and that’s Tate Selby. Not only is this young man undefeated thus far, but he’s already earned himself a spot in Fallout’s next main event. With a big win over the impressive Henry Lee Hyde last week and an upcoming fight against Billy Bennett and Jason Long, it looks as if The Outcast is becoming a big-time player for the green brand. He has to be considered an underdog when facing the current Legacy Champion and former Prime Champion, but we should all keep our eyes on Tate Selby in the weeks ahead.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Another new face in the top ten is this motherfucker, Brandon Hendrix. Since his return to the company, he’s had a tag team win, an impressive outing in the Tyrant’s Battle Royal, an upset win over the legendary Elena DeDraca, and most recently he won a brutal cage match contest. This motherfucker is on a roll, and no matter how his tag team match turns out this week, it looks like he’s got his eyes on some golden opportunities.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: Despite his loss to Tate Selby, Henry Lee Hyde is still the Gatekeeper Champion and has very few losses on his record. He may have dropped a couple of spots this week, but his accomplishments prior to last week’s loss are enough to keep him in the top ten. He has a very tough title defense coming up against three opponents this week and a win should keep him in the conversation, while losing his title may be enough to knock him off the list completely. Only time will tell…


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: You can count the number of losses Casanova English has had on one hand since joining the company. That creepy, little motherfucker had a record-setting run with the Warrior Rising Championship, and while he may have dropped the belt in a surprise loss to Giovanni, he’s still a dangerous man. He promised to not go after the belt if he lost it last week, which makes me think he’s got some other titles in mind. If I was the X-Factor, Grand, or even Legacy Champion, I’d be watching this motherfucker like a hawk!


JAMES EDGEBROOK: Which brings us to the man who defeated Casanova to become the new Warrior Rising Champion, the artiste known as Giovanni. You have to appreciate his methodical approach to capturing the belt, having earned his opportunity months ago only to wait until the right moment to call his shot. After numerous weeks of tough defenses, it would seem that Giovanni saw the wear and tear being done to the former champion and knew that his time had come. Whether or not he will be as dominant of a champion as Casanova remains unknown, but Giovanni seems to have the skills necessary to live up to the standards set by previous champions.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Rounding out the top five this week is The Platinum Standard, Emmanuelle. She may have come up short in her quest for The Legacy Championship, but we all know that won’t be her last shot. She’s gonna find herself in a clusterfuck this week, but once that’s all settled you know she’ll be setting her sights on capturing more gold. The only question is which title will Emmanuelle set her sights on next? She’s still a top contender to face Billy Bennett, we know she has what it takes to beat Arata, and I don’t think she’s the type to let her friendship with MYOJIN prevent her from going after the X-Factor either.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: Speaking of MYOJIN, The Shining Star is next on our list, coming off an incredibly close title defense against Swindle Shelldrake. MYOJIN won their match by countout to retain their title, and against someone as dangerous as The Kraken, that’s an impressive feat. The only thing I’m unsure about is whether or not MYOJIN has taken their championship reign as far as it can go. With the longest title reign in Project: Honor history now secured, is it time for The Shining Star to set their sights on Arata Asakura or Billy Bennett?


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Damn…did this motherfucker drown last week? I mean, he’s not on this week’s Fallout card, and I don’t know if anyone has heard a word out of him. I guess it’s pretty impressive that whether alive or dead, Havoc is still in the top three of our Elite Ten. As the reigning Tyrant and Ascended Prime Champion of Project: Honor, it’s hard to imagine him at a spot lower than this. Hopefully he’ll get the water out of his lungs and get back into the ring soon so he can continue being the dominant motherfucker we’ve all come to recognize him as.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: Having a mystery title defense that turned into a Triple Threat Match and still coming out as the champion has bumped Arata Asakura up to our number two spot this week. He’s solidified his place as Grand Champion for now, but there are a lot of contenders the Gaijin Killer will have to deal with sooner or later. From MYOJIN and Swindle Shelldrake to Casanova English and Brandon Hendrix, it looks as if Arata’s plate could be very full in the coming weeks and months. He certainly has the skills and attitude necessary to deal with those challenges as they come, so it’s doubtful that he’ll be leaving The Elite Ten for quite some time.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: And last but not least, the new Legacy Champion comes in at number one. Even if the belt hadn’t been on the line, winning a match against Havoc, Emmanuelle, and Mark Hunter would be enough to put Billy Bennett at number one this week. Bayou Billy has the bad attitude and thick booty needed to keep that title from sliding off her waist anytime soon. There may be a lot of tough challenges for her out there, from her three most recent opponents to former champions like Syndicate, but that crazy crackhead ain’t gonna be easy to beat!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: And there you have it! Congratulations to all of the competitors in our Elite Ten this week. We’ll be right back to reveal our Medal of Honor winners right after this commercial break!



JAMES EDGEBROOK: Welcome back to The F’n Edge everyone. Our recent Spring Break shows were a phenomenal success in the ratings, delivering heart-stopping matches, light-hearted segments, and memorable moments. Now let’s take a look back to see which of those came out on top in our viewer polls!



JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Lots of motherfuckers were on fire for the Spring Break shows, but with the most prestigious championship on the line, we saw Bennett, Emmy, Havoc, and Mark take it to the next level.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: That should come as no surprise with the level they were competing at, but we saw some Pay-Per-View level promos from many of Project: Honor’s superstars. All of the championship divisions were well represented, but it just goes to show how much a Legacy Championship opportunity is valued.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: I know I haven’t been in my right mind lately, but none of that shit compares to how motherfucking crazy Savannah has become. I still can’t believe she married that creepy little motherfucker.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: I suppose congratulations are in order for the newlyweds. Speaking of congratulations, I also tip my hat to Douglas Crane and Mikey Hero for winning the Spring Break Triathlon, even if they were unable to dethrone Arata Asakura in the end.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: Swindle Shelldrake hates Arata Asakura. MYOJIN hates Swindle Shelldrake. Arata Asakura hates everyone. This trifecta of champions and a challenger is certainly interesting, even if I’m not exactly sure where it’s headed. I’ve got it on good authority that The Gaijin Killer and The Shining Star are allies in a different promotion. Could that be creeping into Project: Honor, and if so, how could The Kraken hope to overcome it?

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Arata Asakura may hate everyone, but everyone hates Arik Holt. It seems like even God himself is taking time out of his busy schedule to slap that creepy motherfucker around a little bit. Frankly, I hate him as much as anyone. I just hope Arik can squeeze me into his busy schedule for another asskicking.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: A floating ring may have looked good conceptually, but it certainly didn’t turn out to be structurally sound. It was bad enough to see competitors get thrown into the pool on a regular basis, but when Hunter and Emmanuelle took out a section of scaffolding and Havoc nearly drowned as a result, it’s safe to say things went a little too far.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: That shit was pretty memorable, but you know what I’m always gonna remember? Yuriko Toyama with a Tabasco-fueled Asian mist to the face of Zack Cage. Now that was a memorable spot. Somewhere out there, Serrano Poblano is crying because he didn’t think of it first.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: We live in a world where competitors can be possessed by demonic entities…where secret societies battle for a slice of the professional wrestling pie…and where John Blade is now a two-time champion. He may have lost the Triple A Title to Diana momentarily, but he had it back in his possession by the end of the night.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Worldstar motherfuckers!


JAMES EDGEBROOK: When it came down to the best match of the week, it’s hard to imagine the medal not going to the Legacy Title Four Way. This thing was brutal from the start and the spring break set was even destroyed in the process. What a way to cap off two nights of crazy action in Cancun.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Over on Fallout, it seems like everyone really enjoyed seeing my little motherfucker, Petey, take out the returning Lance Williams. Big Lance even got himself fired…again.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: And finally, another result that should come as no surprise. By becoming the new Legacy Champion, Billy Bennet takes this week’s Medal of Honor for Superstar of the Week. I think it’s safe to say that whoever managed to win the belt would have been the top contender for this award.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Lil’ Petey got his share of the votes though. He’s killing it as co-GM on Fallout and on top of that he gets another win as his retirement tour rolls on.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: And that does it for this week’s Medals of Honor. We’ll be right back with our predictions for the next Fallout and Proving Ground after this message!



JAMES EDGEBROOK: Before we get into this week’s predictions, here’s a quick update on where Julius and I are sitting after last week’s shows! My co-host has retaken the lead with a total of 59 correct predictions, but I’m not far behind with 58 of my own!

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Prepare to get buried like Johnny Levy on Friday Nights, motherfucker!

TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
JOHN BLADE VS. LATOYA HIXX VS. NOAH HOPE

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: I’ll start this shit off by saying that the Triple A Title is whacked out. Who can predict this shit? That being said, this is John Blade’s first trip to Fallout and I don’t think he knows what he’s in for. On the other hand, Latoya Hixx has been in plenty of brutal Fallout matches. I’m picking Hixx with the upset.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Bold prediction, Julius. While I don’t disagree that John Blade will have trouble adapting to Fallout, I predict that someone else will take advantage of it. Noah Hope will have his first taste of gold on Thursday night.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Hold up, motherfucker. We’re not done just yet. I managed to get my hands on Lil’ Petey’s notebook and I know who he placed his bets on with his Vegas bookie. Petey’s picking John Blade to retain in this one.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: You may have Lil’ Petey’s picks, but I’ll do you one better! It seems that Percival Burque’s beloved mentor, Papercut, has been fantasy booking on his copy of Project: Honor 2k22 and I have the results of his latest shows! In Papercut’s simulation, John Blade retains!

TAG TEAM MATCH
ADVANCED MATHEMATICS VS. PHANTOM TROUPE

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: So Advanced Mathematics didn’t look very good in their debut against Shooter Landell, but I’m not about to pick the motherfuckers who took away my tag team titles! Fuck those Phantoms! I’m going with Cal Culus and Trig O’Nometry to become the new champs!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Another bold prediction from my partner, but this time I agree! The Phantom Troupe will overlook their opponents this week and it will cost them dearly!

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Unfortunately, Lil’ Petey has The Phantom Troupe winning. That’s some traitorous shit to do to your fellow motherfucker, Pete!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: It’s not just Petey who has betrayed you, because Papercut has The Phantom Troupe winning in his Universe Mode as well.

GO TO SLEEP MATCH
ANDREI SOKOLOV VS. EARL BOYDE VS. HENRY LEE HYDE VS. YURIKO TOYAMA

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Lil’ Petey is playing it safe with his money and betting on Henry Lee Hyde to retain. I like to live a little more dangerously, so I’m saying that Earl Boyde capitalizes on his Spring Break victory to become the new champ!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Interesting choices there, but Papercut and I both agree that Yuriko Toyama will shock the world by becoming the new Gatekeeper Champion!

TAG TEAM MATCH
ANGELO CAITO AND ZACK CAGE VS. THE BFG DIVISION

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Angelo Caito has officially been dropped on his head one too many times. Me and Petey agree, this one is going to the BFG Division.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Then it looks like we have a clean sweep, because that’s who won Papercut’s simulation and that’s who I’m picking as well! I think they’re going to get a big win on their way toward their upcoming Tag Team Title Match.

HONEYMOON HANGOVER MATCH
LIL’ PETEY VS. SAVANNAH HOLT

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Sav is as much out of her damn mind as Caito is. There’s no way I’m picking that crazy bitch over my boy! Lil’ Petey gets another win as the retirement tour keeps rolling. It should come as no surprise that Petey’s got himself winning as well.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: I’m going to disagree with you on this one, partner. Now that she’s Arik Holt’s wife, who knows what kind of evil tricks Savannah might use? I think she’s going to surprise Petey with a win and potentially hurt him in the process. Papercut, on the other hand, is fully behind The Drip Sensation.

TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
BILLY BENNETT VS. JASON LONG VS. TATE SELBY

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Then it’s time for the main event! Petey may be on the Billy bandwagon for this one, but not me! I may respect her booty game, but I’m going with Jason Long to pick up the win. I’ve fought that motherfucker and I’ve teamed up with him, so I know what he’s capable of.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: I can’t blame you there, however I’m going with Billy Bennett here. She’s on a roll as the new Legacy Champion and can’t afford a loss this early in her reign. While Billy is my pick, Papercut had Tate Selby coming out on top during his video game playthrough. Very interesting…

SINGLES MATCH
JAMES RAYMOND VS. RICH MAHOGANY

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: I don’t know much about this James Raymond guy, but I do know that Rich Mahogany takes losses like a motherfucking champ! Raymond is taking the win in this one, and Lil’ Petey agrees with me!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Well I don’t! I think his previous losses have all been a clever plot to lure in future opponents. This is the show where Rich Mahogany shows us how good he really is, and Papercut agrees with me!

SINGLES MATCH
SERRANO POBLANO VS. SILAS ISAAC NABERIUS

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: I don’t know much about this Silas motherfucker either, but I know that Serrano Poblano is running on the power of friendship. With the other KaVengers having his back, The Sultan of Spice is gonna start racking up the wins.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: I couldn’t agree more! It may look like the KaVengers have hit a rough patch recently, but I’m sure it’s all been a series of misunderstandings and missed connections. We’ll see them back in full force this week to cheer Serrano on to victory.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: For some reason, Lil’ Petey doesn’t agree. He put his money on the motherfucking new guy…

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Odd…seems Papercut had the newcomer win in Universe Mode as well. Have we been blinded by the spice?

SINGLES MATCH
OFFICER GREYFIELD VS. SHOOTER LANDELL

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Don’t get me wrong, I love me some of that motherfucking Officer Greyfield. I just don’t want to be against that motherfucking machine named Shooter Landell. He was a beast in his debut and I think he’ll continue to impress us. Lil’ Petey agrees with me.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: So do I. Greyfield is a big, tough man, but he hasn’t had the best of luck lately. On the other hand, Shooter Landell is looking to make an impact. Papercut had the same result for the clean sweep in predictions for Shooter. One thing is for sure…it’s going to be a hoss fight!

FATAL FOUR WAY MATCH
BETSY GALLAGHER VS. DIANA VS. LEXI GOLD VS. MIKEY HERO

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: You know one of my favorite parts of the spring break shows? Seeing Lexi Gold on the beach in her swimsuit. That is one fine lady, ya dig? To show my appreciation, I’m picking her to win this one.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: There’s a lot more to winning matches than just looking good. That’s why I’m going with Betsy Gallagher. She has the looks and the wrestling pedigree to get the job done.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Oh yeah? Well it seems like Lil’ Petey agrees with you on this one. What did that smelly, little rat have to say?

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Papercut’s simulation had Mikey Hero picking up the win. I guess he likes those plucky underdogs.

TAG TEAM MATCH
BRANDON HENDRIX AND STELLA JADE VS. CADILLAC JACKSON AND TJ THOMPSON

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Caddy and TJ have been on a roll as a team so far. Brandon has been on a roll too, but his girlfriend might be the weak link here. I’m going with Cadillac Jackson and TJ Thompson to keep the team dream alive.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: I agree with you on this one, Julius. I think his recent wins may go to his head, thus bringing about the downfall of Hendrix this week. Papercut had a similar result in 2k22 earlier this week.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: And you know Petey ain’t gonna bet against his boys. We’ve got another clean sweep on the predictions for Cadillac and TJ this week.

SINGLE MATCH
JOHNNY LEVY VS. TARA FENIX

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: That bad bitch, Tara Fenix, has been away for a few weeks. I still don’t think that’s going to slow her down at all. Plus, it’s Friday Night and you know what that means!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Johnny Levy gets buried?

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Ha ha! You know it, motherfucker! Tara Fenix with the win, even if Petey is picking Levy for some crazy reason!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Well I’m with Petey on this one. Levy is out to prove something to his opponents, the fans, and especially Indy Darling! This is his big chance to do exactly that! Oddly enough, when Papercut played through the match, a large masked man named THE SYSTEM showed up and Tara ended up winning. Surely that won’t happen this week….

KEEP YOUR ENEMIES CLOSE MATCH
ARATA ASAKURA AND EMMANUELLE VS. CASANOVA ENGLISH AND GIOVANNI VS. MYOJIN AND SWINDLE SHELLDRAKE

JAMES EDGEBROOK: And that brings us to our second main event of the week and this is a crazy one! It’s hard to tell what’s going to happen here, but I’m going to go out on a limb and pick MYOJIN and Swindle to somehow pick up the win. It doesn’t hurt that Papercut had the same result on PH 2k22.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Lil’ Petey is on the Arata and Emmanuelle train for this match, but I hope he didn’t bet too much on them! I’m personally going for the underdogs here, cause I think the other teams will be too busy with each other to notice Casanova and Gio sneaking in to pick up the W!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: And that does it for this week’s prediction! No matter how wrong or right we may be, there’s sure to be plenty of amazing action on this week’s Fallout and Proving Ground! Now, as our show comes to a close, I’d just like to say how good it is to have you back to your normal self, Julius. I’ve never appreciated our friendship as much as I do at this moment.

Julius seems momentarily taken aback by his co-host’s kindness until…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Fuck you, Jimmy!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Ah…just like old times. To close ou this week’s show, we have a very special sponsor we’d like to thank!


JAMES EDGEBROOK: And to go along with Mr. Levy’s personal advertisement, he’s also handsomely paid us to play a specific outro song. Until next time, this is James Edgebrook for Julius Fairweather saying, be cool or be gone, motherfuckers!