Post by MYŌJIN on Mar 16, 2022 22:32:47 GMT -5
The climb to the top is not an easy one, lovelies.
When I first won the X-Factor Championship, I made it clear that I would do everything in my power to make this title the most important not just on Proving Ground, but in this entire company. I've reigned longer than Indy Darling, the only previous X-Factor Champion that was worth a damn. I've beaten another current champion on Proving Ground in Casanova English. I've also had the most successful defenses with this belt. Now I'm at the point where I'm the third-longest reigning champion of all time in Project: Honor, only behind the inaugural and third Grand Champions.
Now, I can already hear all of you, my lovely audience. "Oh, MYOJIN, is this another one of your long-winded bragging sessions where you remind us all of how amazing, talented, and pretty you are?" …Well, yes, but also no. I'm getting to the point soon.
As honestly the most successful X-Factor Champion of all time, I've had a lot to think about ever since I've broken these records. A lot to reflect on- about how much I struggled to make it to this point, about the many times where I admittedly thought of taking my ball and going home. The bitterness and anger that I felt during those struggles, during those setbacks… And now I stand here, and I ask myself-
Was all of it worth it?
And without a second thought, I say yes. Yes, it was.
When I look back and how long it took me to get to this point, I'm proud of it. I'm proud of myself- of the path I had to pave to get to this point. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way in hindsight, because of those setbacks? Those obstacles? The frustration that I felt? All of that motivated me to become better, to become stronger, to become the wrestler that I am today; the standard-bearer of Project: Honor. The Face of Project: Honor, even, as I represent what the best in this company be. I'm the shining, pun not intended, example of what is capable here. That pressure made me X-Factor Champion, after all- diamonds ARE made under pressure.
…Though, of course, not everything survives that pressure.
Some, like Shelldrake, cave under it.
I know you all may still be wondering where exactly I am going with this. So let me put it to you like this:
I think it's more than fair to say Proving Ground and Project: Honor would not be the same without yours truly. If I never competed on the first show, if I never tore the house down with Dickie Watson at Bloodbath, if I never competed in the only two Iron Man matches to have ever happened in this company, if I never saved this championship from the charisma vacuum that is Lance Williams- This place wouldn't be where it is today. Now…
Can you make that same statement about Swindle Shelldrake?
February 21, 2022.
1:25 AM.
To say that The Crowning didn't go the way that MYOJIN wanted would be a gross understatement.
True Society won. The team of outcasts, misfits, losers, whose only common trait that allowed them to coexist as a group was that no one else would take them… had won the match. The X-Factor Champion hadn't been pinned, hadn't been submitted, hell- Their team wasn't even the one that lost the match. Yet, it still bothered them to a degree that they couldn't put into words. No, bother wasn't the right term… It infuriated them. Pissed them off. The seething anger of the ending of that match stayed on their mind hours after the show had ended. It was one thing if failure was their own fault, the Shining Star had grown to learn how to live with that… But that wasn't the case. It was that their team hadn't been focused, no one else on their side had been as determined to get the job done as they had. That was to be expected of Petey and TJ, after all, those two never took professional wrestling as seriously as MYOJIN did. Those two were only capable of goofing off, something that the Shining Star had just grown to accept.
But Swindle Shelldrake was a different case altogether.
Their anger, their frustration of the night's events were solely focused on him and his carelessness. That smug, nonchalant, edgelord bullshit. Why he was EVER accepted on the team or even trusted to be in the Wargames match was something MYOJIN had questioned since day one- and like usual, their doubts were proven right.
The platinum blonde stared in the foggy mirror, having recently showered after they had made it back to their hotel room. Looking over the minor bruises, scrapes, and cuts left on their body from participating in such a dangerous match type. MYOJIN wiped the mirror with their palm, clearing it to see their face, frowning at noticing a small graze above their sharp eyebrow.
They heard a nearby door open, peeking out of the room to see Himari, carrying a few towels with her. MYOJIN smiled at her and she briefly smiled back as they finally put their shirt on and stepped out. "(Hey, thanks- But there's no need this time. I'm not bleeding.")
"(That's good..)" She paused, softly responding as she sat them on the pillow.
MYOJIN sat down and ran their hands through the locks of their silky hair, thinking quietly to themself. Looking over to her, they gently took their fiancee's hand in their own. "(Hey, I noticed that you weren't backstage after the show ended. Did something happen, was everything okay?)"
She nodded, though there was a different look in her brown eyes. While she gave them a smile, the rest of her body language seemed to give a different feeling. One that concerned MYOJIN as they briefly looked away from her. It was unusual for her to feel so… off. No, off, wasn't the proper word, it was more so different. They even realized she was somewhat avoiding looking at them. "(You know that you can talk to me about whatever, right?)"
"(I do, I do. It's just… I've been thinking.)" She spoke. MYOJIN felt alarmed at her unusually reversed nature at the moment, she was usually a lot more cheerful, talkative, affectionate...
"(...Thinking about what?)" They softly asked in return, patting the side of the bed for her to sit down next to them. She seemed reluctant, but eventually, she did, while staring down at her palms.
"(About our plans to get married. Remember? We were going to do so in January..)"
It hit them. MYOJIN froze, they were supposed to get married on New Year's Day. It was now close to the end of February, how could they have forgotten? They got so caught up in their bookings and shows to wrestle for, championships to defend, that they had delayed their own wedding. It had just been really bad timing… Instantly feeling regretful, the blonde turned to their fiancee. "(Himari.. I'm..- I'm really sorry. I know we were, and I'm sorry about the delays… You know how wrestling can be and everything that's been going on, I've just not been able to focus.. But we will ge-)"
"(Maybe we shouldn't, Shouta.)"
Silence. Himari further looked away as MYOJIN blinked, lips likely parting as they were going to say something- but faltered. Still processing what she had just said. Processing the meaning of what she was saying.
"(...What?)"
"(Shouta, I.. For a while, I've felt like … Like we've been growing apart. Or more like, I have at least… Things have just changed.)" She stood up, turning to face them with an apologetic expression on her face, clasping her hands together.
MYOJIN simply looked at her, unsure of what to say, or how to react. They were confused, confused from the suddenness of what she was saying. It felt like a punch to the gut to hear what she was saying. "(Are you breaking up with me..? Himari, why-? What is this about..? I.. Whatever it is, whatever has you feeling this way, we can fix it- If it's about the wedding, I'm sorry and we can..-)"
They could see a shimmer in her eyes, the sign of tears forming as she grew emotional. "(Shouta, it's not about that..! It's about seeing you like this!" Himari motioned to the small laceration on their face. "I've seen you get hurt so many times, covered in your own blood and someone else's in those matches. I've seen the punishment that you've taken and the lengths you've gone to win before- Tonight, I saw you almost kill yourself diving off the top of that cage and I was horrified! I just… I can't keep seeing you hurt, I can't keep being the one stitching your wounds.)"
"(I love you, Shouta, okay..? I really do, but that's why I can't do this anymore..)”
Hearing the pain in her voice stung in a way they had never felt before. MYOJIN wasn't sure what to say. How had they never realized what they were putting her through? How come they had never thought about how she felt seeing them put their body in danger every time they stepped into a ring. How much that affected her, being the one to have to clean them up when they were a bloody mess. Standing up, MYOJIN took a step forward, a pleading look in their eyes as they took her hands into their own. "(If that's what this is about then you know I love you more than this. I-I can quit, retire, whatever will make you happy..")
Himari simply shook her head, her tears now running down her face. MYOJIN could feel tears starting to overflow, shakily breathing as she gently pulled her hands away. "(But would you be happy then..? Would you be okay with giving up all of this, everything I know you've worked for..?)"
MYOJIN gave her a defeated expression, unable to think of anything to say. After all, she knew them better than anyone else did.
"(I thought so..)"
The two then stood awkwardly. It felt like everything had simply gone silent. All she said next was, "(I'm so sorry..)"
MYOJIN was sorry too.
More than they could put into words.
Do you know something, hun? I remember hearing about you when you first joined Project: Honor. I remember hearing about your name, Swindle Shelldrake, I heard good things about you. About how you were someone to watch, someone to take notice of- and believe me, I did. While I was busy finding my way to the top, I paid attention to what other competitors are up to. To be honest..? I expected better.
For someone that appeared like he was going to the next big name in Project: Honor, you have been very hit or miss, haven't you? You've had some pretty important wins, but you've… never been able to seemingly be a consistent winner. Every time you've seemingly got a little bit ahead, you end up falling two steps backward. I wonder why that is, honey? Why is it that you're so 50/50? All of your wins that you actually earned have been simply because you've faced both lower card losers who are best at losing. Of course, you could bring up the one win you have over Arata Asakura- But guess what, honey? I've beaten him too. And unlike you, who wasn't able to capitalize on that win because you choked in the Grand Championship match afterward- I actually beat him to earn my shot at the X-Factor title… And everyone can see how that went.
Yet, you have the audacity to whine and complain about how you haven't won a championship. How you haven't been a main eventer, as if that is anyone else's fault but your own. Swindle, honey, you remind me a lot of Casanova English with the way you talk about how you're different from the status quo. How you're a lone wolf, how everyone is against you. That victim mentality is annoying as hell because you refuse to recognize your own faults and improve on them. You both even have some ridiculous fucking names. Seriously, no wonder you're a cranky little bitch considering your name is Swindle.
But you know what? At least English has a championship. At least he has been able to prove himself… What the hell do you have, babe? Oh, that's right.
Nothing.
You wouldn't even be in this championship match if I hadn't asked for it, because you've done absolutely nothing to earn it. So your welcome for that, by the way.
You fail whenever it counts. You succeed when it barely matters. And you think you'd be a REAL challenge to me, compared to everyone else I've faced with my belt on the line? You spend more time working on your emo haircut than actually being a consistent wrestler.
I remember leading up to Wargames, I knew from the moment that we shared the ring together on the same team that you would be a hindrance. A waste of a possible team member, especially when we had so many better options than you. You were so wrapped up in running your mouth about how none of this mattered to you and how you didn't like anyone to look ahead. Of course, you can always claim you don't care about winning or losing to save face- But evidently, sweetie, you do, given how cry about the opportunities that you aren't given. You know, I have to even wonder sometimes- Do you even want to be here?
Instead of focusing on winning at the Crowning, you hit me and practically gave up on the match. You turned on Asakura, hoping that you could weasel your way into a Grand title match- And you might think you're being some sort of clever edgy mastermind who has everyone in the palm of your hands, but all you're managing to do is just sabotage yourself, again and again, and again... That, and make more enemies.
By the way, if you even want to have a chance at beating me- You better focus on me, not Asakura.
March 6, 2022
5:48 PM
MYOJIN stared down at the golden reflection of their face in the championship they held, silently contemplating the past week. Struggling to come to the terms with everything. With what had gone down after the Crowning, as they sat on their couch in their San Diego department. Sitting the belt to the side and running a hand through their hair, taking a deep breath… What would they do without her?
Himari completed them. She was the piece that had been missing from their life for so long, the person that made them feel like everything they did was worth it... And now that she's called their relationship off, what were they without her? How could they continue you on without her?
Even though they lived in the same place before they had met Himari… MYOJIN's home had never felt more lonely, more empty without her. It was like the warmth, that cozy feeling had completely left.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
The blonde looked up, turning to see the sound had come from the door. Right now, they had honestly just wanted to be left alone. They briefly thought about going to answer it, but reluctantly stayed still, not getting up.
But the knocks continued, much harsher this time. “Dude, I know you're in there!”
Caden, of course, it was Caden. MYOJIN took a deep breath, getting up from their couch and walking toward the door, unlocking it to see their fuming manager, who quickly stepped in past them before they could even say anything. “I've been trying to call you for the past couple of days, you weren't picking up. So, I got a little worried and now I flew all the way down here to Cali just to check up on you- Just to see you've been AVOIDING me?!”
MYOJIN scratched the back of their neck, lightly wincing. “Listen, Caden, I've just needed some time..-”
“Also, you picked a fight with SWINDLE SHELLDRAKE?! The guy that, you know, almost killed and nearly ended the career of Hunter? Are you crazy?! Why would you volunteer to get into a match with that freaking psycho?!” Caden put his hands on his hips, glaring daggers at the Shining Star. MYOJIN defensively crossed their arms, glaring back.
“Uh, what does it matter to you exactly? Since when have I ever been the type to back down from any fight? Shelldrake hit me in the face and this is just me getting a little bit of payback. I know what I'm doing.”
“What does it matter to me? I'm YOUR manager, dumbass! Also, I'm your friend! Obviously, I'm going to watch your back and yell at you when I'm a bit worried. Where's Himari? Maybe she can talk some sense into you-” Caden uttered. MYOJIN grimaced, the emotions they were still processing, the pain that they still felt was still so fresh. Their manager seemed to notice, as his frustrated expression quickly softened with worried curiosity.
“She's… uh, she left, Caden. We split. She couldn't deal with my lifestyle anymore so we had to break it off, she plans on leaving back to Japan soon,” MYOJIN explained in a low voice, barely getting the words out as if they were still having trouble believing it was happening. Caden went quiet, simply giving an empathetic glance to the X-Factor Champion.
“Oh, man… I'm.. I'm sorry, Shouta. I guess that's why you've been MIA for a bit.” He murmured, rubbing his chin with a small frown. “Listen, are you sure you're really up for this match? That Shelldrake guy, he's dangerous.”
“Wrestling is a dangerous sport,” MYOJIN counter-argued. Caden shook his head in response.
“You're not hearing me, man. Maybe you should just take a while off or something. Screw the championship, screw wrestling- You're going through some pretty deep shit right now, Shouta. Maybe that's clouding up your mind and maybe you won't be one-hundred-percent mentally against that guy.. You can't afford to slip up against someone like that, not after what he di-”
“I don't CARE about what he did to Mark Hunter. I don't care about what he can do, I know I can do worse,” MYOJIN snapped, irritation starting to show. “You're in my corner, Caden, do you all of a sudden just not trust me or think that I know what I'm doing anymore? Is that it?”
“You know that's not true.” Caden sighed, rubbing his forehead. “You know that I believe in you and always have, but you're vulnerable right now, and I just don't want to see my best friend possibly have their career ended by some weirdo!”
Best friend. Best friend.
That had been the first time Caden had ever called them that. Were they really friends? Had they ever grown that close beyond simply acquaintances to truly be friends..? MYOJIN had never truly thought about it until that moment as the two stood there.
“..But if you say that you've got this, then I know you do. I just wanted to check up on you and see how you were doing. If you need some space right now, I totally get it.” Caden began to walk back toward the door.
“Hey, wait..”
Caden stopped, turned around, and suddenly was surprised with a tight hug from MYOJIN. He didn't move for a second, before reciprocating the hug. “...Thanks. For checking up on me.”
“No problem, Shouta. I care about you, and I know what you're going through right now must really suck, but.. Love is a really weird thing that I don't think any of us will figure out. I know it's a cliche thing to say, but it really is better to have loved and lost than to not love at all, and someday, you'll meet someone again. It might not feel like that right now, but you will.”
MYOJIN faintly smiled, “...Is that some more wise wisdom you happened to learn from rehab?”
Caden rolled his eyes in return, though while grinning. “Shut up. I'll see you later.” He walked out of the apartment, closing the door behind him as MYOJIN simply stood there for a few moments.
At least they still had a friend.
The more I think about it, the more I start to realize just why you piss me off so much. It's exactly the flaw that you happen to think is a strength:
You. Don't. Care.
You don't care as much about this as I do, or any of the best wrestlers in the world do. You haven't shown the same motivation, the same drive, because all you do is run around in a circle. You think your neutrality is something to be proud of because it makes you “not like other girls”, but in reality, I have to wonder. Do you believe in anything? What are your goals as a wrestler beyond trying to win some gold and brag about it?
I have gotten too far, I have sacrificed so much to get where I am right now and I refuse to let all my hard work end at the hands of a wannabe.
It frustrates me, Swinny-poo, because I know that under all of that mediocrity- is real potential. I've seen it in your matches. I've seen flashes of it within you. It's not that you lack real talent, it's not that you aren't skilled. It's just that maybe if you didn't have the attitude of a fifteen-year-old boy who just discovered Nine Inch Nails for the first time, maybe you'd actually be able to do something with that untapped potential that you show. And I hope, I truly do, that maybe once I kick your ass and give you a reality check as I have done to every other person that's faced for me for MY belt- that you will finally grow up, drop the main character syndrome, and realize that you could be more than you actually are. That's why I decided for you to be my next challenger.
But maybe I'm wrong about you. Maybe all you are is just a woulda-been, coulda-been, shoulda-been disappointment. Maybe you'll even double down on that and sink even further than where you currently are.
I go out there every single match I'm in to entertain, to give that audience their money's worth. I aim to change the world of professional wrestling, to help it evolve, to shape it in my image. I want to make Project: Honor the greatest promotion in the entire world, and in order to do that? I need the rest of you to catch up and stop lagging behind. If you refuse to improve- then I will drag you, kicking and screaming, toward progress. So show me something, Swindle. Show me that you actually are passionate about this. Give me your all and nothing less. I want the best version of you, I want a fight.
At Proving Ground, I'm going to put you under more pressure than you've ever felt in your life.
And either you'll finally become a diamond, or you'll shatter into a million worthless pieces.
When I first won the X-Factor Championship, I made it clear that I would do everything in my power to make this title the most important not just on Proving Ground, but in this entire company. I've reigned longer than Indy Darling, the only previous X-Factor Champion that was worth a damn. I've beaten another current champion on Proving Ground in Casanova English. I've also had the most successful defenses with this belt. Now I'm at the point where I'm the third-longest reigning champion of all time in Project: Honor, only behind the inaugural and third Grand Champions.
Now, I can already hear all of you, my lovely audience. "Oh, MYOJIN, is this another one of your long-winded bragging sessions where you remind us all of how amazing, talented, and pretty you are?" …Well, yes, but also no. I'm getting to the point soon.
As honestly the most successful X-Factor Champion of all time, I've had a lot to think about ever since I've broken these records. A lot to reflect on- about how much I struggled to make it to this point, about the many times where I admittedly thought of taking my ball and going home. The bitterness and anger that I felt during those struggles, during those setbacks… And now I stand here, and I ask myself-
Was all of it worth it?
And without a second thought, I say yes. Yes, it was.
When I look back and how long it took me to get to this point, I'm proud of it. I'm proud of myself- of the path I had to pave to get to this point. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way in hindsight, because of those setbacks? Those obstacles? The frustration that I felt? All of that motivated me to become better, to become stronger, to become the wrestler that I am today; the standard-bearer of Project: Honor. The Face of Project: Honor, even, as I represent what the best in this company be. I'm the shining, pun not intended, example of what is capable here. That pressure made me X-Factor Champion, after all- diamonds ARE made under pressure.
…Though, of course, not everything survives that pressure.
Some, like Shelldrake, cave under it.
I know you all may still be wondering where exactly I am going with this. So let me put it to you like this:
I think it's more than fair to say Proving Ground and Project: Honor would not be the same without yours truly. If I never competed on the first show, if I never tore the house down with Dickie Watson at Bloodbath, if I never competed in the only two Iron Man matches to have ever happened in this company, if I never saved this championship from the charisma vacuum that is Lance Williams- This place wouldn't be where it is today. Now…
Can you make that same statement about Swindle Shelldrake?
February 21, 2022.
1:25 AM.
To say that The Crowning didn't go the way that MYOJIN wanted would be a gross understatement.
True Society won. The team of outcasts, misfits, losers, whose only common trait that allowed them to coexist as a group was that no one else would take them… had won the match. The X-Factor Champion hadn't been pinned, hadn't been submitted, hell- Their team wasn't even the one that lost the match. Yet, it still bothered them to a degree that they couldn't put into words. No, bother wasn't the right term… It infuriated them. Pissed them off. The seething anger of the ending of that match stayed on their mind hours after the show had ended. It was one thing if failure was their own fault, the Shining Star had grown to learn how to live with that… But that wasn't the case. It was that their team hadn't been focused, no one else on their side had been as determined to get the job done as they had. That was to be expected of Petey and TJ, after all, those two never took professional wrestling as seriously as MYOJIN did. Those two were only capable of goofing off, something that the Shining Star had just grown to accept.
But Swindle Shelldrake was a different case altogether.
Their anger, their frustration of the night's events were solely focused on him and his carelessness. That smug, nonchalant, edgelord bullshit. Why he was EVER accepted on the team or even trusted to be in the Wargames match was something MYOJIN had questioned since day one- and like usual, their doubts were proven right.
The platinum blonde stared in the foggy mirror, having recently showered after they had made it back to their hotel room. Looking over the minor bruises, scrapes, and cuts left on their body from participating in such a dangerous match type. MYOJIN wiped the mirror with their palm, clearing it to see their face, frowning at noticing a small graze above their sharp eyebrow.
They heard a nearby door open, peeking out of the room to see Himari, carrying a few towels with her. MYOJIN smiled at her and she briefly smiled back as they finally put their shirt on and stepped out. "(Hey, thanks- But there's no need this time. I'm not bleeding.")
"(That's good..)" She paused, softly responding as she sat them on the pillow.
MYOJIN sat down and ran their hands through the locks of their silky hair, thinking quietly to themself. Looking over to her, they gently took their fiancee's hand in their own. "(Hey, I noticed that you weren't backstage after the show ended. Did something happen, was everything okay?)"
She nodded, though there was a different look in her brown eyes. While she gave them a smile, the rest of her body language seemed to give a different feeling. One that concerned MYOJIN as they briefly looked away from her. It was unusual for her to feel so… off. No, off, wasn't the proper word, it was more so different. They even realized she was somewhat avoiding looking at them. "(You know that you can talk to me about whatever, right?)"
"(I do, I do. It's just… I've been thinking.)" She spoke. MYOJIN felt alarmed at her unusually reversed nature at the moment, she was usually a lot more cheerful, talkative, affectionate...
"(...Thinking about what?)" They softly asked in return, patting the side of the bed for her to sit down next to them. She seemed reluctant, but eventually, she did, while staring down at her palms.
"(About our plans to get married. Remember? We were going to do so in January..)"
It hit them. MYOJIN froze, they were supposed to get married on New Year's Day. It was now close to the end of February, how could they have forgotten? They got so caught up in their bookings and shows to wrestle for, championships to defend, that they had delayed their own wedding. It had just been really bad timing… Instantly feeling regretful, the blonde turned to their fiancee. "(Himari.. I'm..- I'm really sorry. I know we were, and I'm sorry about the delays… You know how wrestling can be and everything that's been going on, I've just not been able to focus.. But we will ge-)"
"(Maybe we shouldn't, Shouta.)"
Silence. Himari further looked away as MYOJIN blinked, lips likely parting as they were going to say something- but faltered. Still processing what she had just said. Processing the meaning of what she was saying.
"(...What?)"
"(Shouta, I.. For a while, I've felt like … Like we've been growing apart. Or more like, I have at least… Things have just changed.)" She stood up, turning to face them with an apologetic expression on her face, clasping her hands together.
MYOJIN simply looked at her, unsure of what to say, or how to react. They were confused, confused from the suddenness of what she was saying. It felt like a punch to the gut to hear what she was saying. "(Are you breaking up with me..? Himari, why-? What is this about..? I.. Whatever it is, whatever has you feeling this way, we can fix it- If it's about the wedding, I'm sorry and we can..-)"
They could see a shimmer in her eyes, the sign of tears forming as she grew emotional. "(Shouta, it's not about that..! It's about seeing you like this!" Himari motioned to the small laceration on their face. "I've seen you get hurt so many times, covered in your own blood and someone else's in those matches. I've seen the punishment that you've taken and the lengths you've gone to win before- Tonight, I saw you almost kill yourself diving off the top of that cage and I was horrified! I just… I can't keep seeing you hurt, I can't keep being the one stitching your wounds.)"
"(I love you, Shouta, okay..? I really do, but that's why I can't do this anymore..)”
Hearing the pain in her voice stung in a way they had never felt before. MYOJIN wasn't sure what to say. How had they never realized what they were putting her through? How come they had never thought about how she felt seeing them put their body in danger every time they stepped into a ring. How much that affected her, being the one to have to clean them up when they were a bloody mess. Standing up, MYOJIN took a step forward, a pleading look in their eyes as they took her hands into their own. "(If that's what this is about then you know I love you more than this. I-I can quit, retire, whatever will make you happy..")
Himari simply shook her head, her tears now running down her face. MYOJIN could feel tears starting to overflow, shakily breathing as she gently pulled her hands away. "(But would you be happy then..? Would you be okay with giving up all of this, everything I know you've worked for..?)"
MYOJIN gave her a defeated expression, unable to think of anything to say. After all, she knew them better than anyone else did.
"(I thought so..)"
The two then stood awkwardly. It felt like everything had simply gone silent. All she said next was, "(I'm so sorry..)"
MYOJIN was sorry too.
More than they could put into words.
Do you know something, hun? I remember hearing about you when you first joined Project: Honor. I remember hearing about your name, Swindle Shelldrake, I heard good things about you. About how you were someone to watch, someone to take notice of- and believe me, I did. While I was busy finding my way to the top, I paid attention to what other competitors are up to. To be honest..? I expected better.
For someone that appeared like he was going to the next big name in Project: Honor, you have been very hit or miss, haven't you? You've had some pretty important wins, but you've… never been able to seemingly be a consistent winner. Every time you've seemingly got a little bit ahead, you end up falling two steps backward. I wonder why that is, honey? Why is it that you're so 50/50? All of your wins that you actually earned have been simply because you've faced both lower card losers who are best at losing. Of course, you could bring up the one win you have over Arata Asakura- But guess what, honey? I've beaten him too. And unlike you, who wasn't able to capitalize on that win because you choked in the Grand Championship match afterward- I actually beat him to earn my shot at the X-Factor title… And everyone can see how that went.
Yet, you have the audacity to whine and complain about how you haven't won a championship. How you haven't been a main eventer, as if that is anyone else's fault but your own. Swindle, honey, you remind me a lot of Casanova English with the way you talk about how you're different from the status quo. How you're a lone wolf, how everyone is against you. That victim mentality is annoying as hell because you refuse to recognize your own faults and improve on them. You both even have some ridiculous fucking names. Seriously, no wonder you're a cranky little bitch considering your name is Swindle.
But you know what? At least English has a championship. At least he has been able to prove himself… What the hell do you have, babe? Oh, that's right.
Nothing.
You wouldn't even be in this championship match if I hadn't asked for it, because you've done absolutely nothing to earn it. So your welcome for that, by the way.
You fail whenever it counts. You succeed when it barely matters. And you think you'd be a REAL challenge to me, compared to everyone else I've faced with my belt on the line? You spend more time working on your emo haircut than actually being a consistent wrestler.
I remember leading up to Wargames, I knew from the moment that we shared the ring together on the same team that you would be a hindrance. A waste of a possible team member, especially when we had so many better options than you. You were so wrapped up in running your mouth about how none of this mattered to you and how you didn't like anyone to look ahead. Of course, you can always claim you don't care about winning or losing to save face- But evidently, sweetie, you do, given how cry about the opportunities that you aren't given. You know, I have to even wonder sometimes- Do you even want to be here?
Instead of focusing on winning at the Crowning, you hit me and practically gave up on the match. You turned on Asakura, hoping that you could weasel your way into a Grand title match- And you might think you're being some sort of clever edgy mastermind who has everyone in the palm of your hands, but all you're managing to do is just sabotage yourself, again and again, and again... That, and make more enemies.
By the way, if you even want to have a chance at beating me- You better focus on me, not Asakura.
March 6, 2022
5:48 PM
MYOJIN stared down at the golden reflection of their face in the championship they held, silently contemplating the past week. Struggling to come to the terms with everything. With what had gone down after the Crowning, as they sat on their couch in their San Diego department. Sitting the belt to the side and running a hand through their hair, taking a deep breath… What would they do without her?
Himari completed them. She was the piece that had been missing from their life for so long, the person that made them feel like everything they did was worth it... And now that she's called their relationship off, what were they without her? How could they continue you on without her?
Even though they lived in the same place before they had met Himari… MYOJIN's home had never felt more lonely, more empty without her. It was like the warmth, that cozy feeling had completely left.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
The blonde looked up, turning to see the sound had come from the door. Right now, they had honestly just wanted to be left alone. They briefly thought about going to answer it, but reluctantly stayed still, not getting up.
But the knocks continued, much harsher this time. “Dude, I know you're in there!”
Caden, of course, it was Caden. MYOJIN took a deep breath, getting up from their couch and walking toward the door, unlocking it to see their fuming manager, who quickly stepped in past them before they could even say anything. “I've been trying to call you for the past couple of days, you weren't picking up. So, I got a little worried and now I flew all the way down here to Cali just to check up on you- Just to see you've been AVOIDING me?!”
MYOJIN scratched the back of their neck, lightly wincing. “Listen, Caden, I've just needed some time..-”
“Also, you picked a fight with SWINDLE SHELLDRAKE?! The guy that, you know, almost killed and nearly ended the career of Hunter? Are you crazy?! Why would you volunteer to get into a match with that freaking psycho?!” Caden put his hands on his hips, glaring daggers at the Shining Star. MYOJIN defensively crossed their arms, glaring back.
“Uh, what does it matter to you exactly? Since when have I ever been the type to back down from any fight? Shelldrake hit me in the face and this is just me getting a little bit of payback. I know what I'm doing.”
“What does it matter to me? I'm YOUR manager, dumbass! Also, I'm your friend! Obviously, I'm going to watch your back and yell at you when I'm a bit worried. Where's Himari? Maybe she can talk some sense into you-” Caden uttered. MYOJIN grimaced, the emotions they were still processing, the pain that they still felt was still so fresh. Their manager seemed to notice, as his frustrated expression quickly softened with worried curiosity.
“She's… uh, she left, Caden. We split. She couldn't deal with my lifestyle anymore so we had to break it off, she plans on leaving back to Japan soon,” MYOJIN explained in a low voice, barely getting the words out as if they were still having trouble believing it was happening. Caden went quiet, simply giving an empathetic glance to the X-Factor Champion.
“Oh, man… I'm.. I'm sorry, Shouta. I guess that's why you've been MIA for a bit.” He murmured, rubbing his chin with a small frown. “Listen, are you sure you're really up for this match? That Shelldrake guy, he's dangerous.”
“Wrestling is a dangerous sport,” MYOJIN counter-argued. Caden shook his head in response.
“You're not hearing me, man. Maybe you should just take a while off or something. Screw the championship, screw wrestling- You're going through some pretty deep shit right now, Shouta. Maybe that's clouding up your mind and maybe you won't be one-hundred-percent mentally against that guy.. You can't afford to slip up against someone like that, not after what he di-”
“I don't CARE about what he did to Mark Hunter. I don't care about what he can do, I know I can do worse,” MYOJIN snapped, irritation starting to show. “You're in my corner, Caden, do you all of a sudden just not trust me or think that I know what I'm doing anymore? Is that it?”
“You know that's not true.” Caden sighed, rubbing his forehead. “You know that I believe in you and always have, but you're vulnerable right now, and I just don't want to see my best friend possibly have their career ended by some weirdo!”
Best friend. Best friend.
That had been the first time Caden had ever called them that. Were they really friends? Had they ever grown that close beyond simply acquaintances to truly be friends..? MYOJIN had never truly thought about it until that moment as the two stood there.
“..But if you say that you've got this, then I know you do. I just wanted to check up on you and see how you were doing. If you need some space right now, I totally get it.” Caden began to walk back toward the door.
“Hey, wait..”
Caden stopped, turned around, and suddenly was surprised with a tight hug from MYOJIN. He didn't move for a second, before reciprocating the hug. “...Thanks. For checking up on me.”
“No problem, Shouta. I care about you, and I know what you're going through right now must really suck, but.. Love is a really weird thing that I don't think any of us will figure out. I know it's a cliche thing to say, but it really is better to have loved and lost than to not love at all, and someday, you'll meet someone again. It might not feel like that right now, but you will.”
MYOJIN faintly smiled, “...Is that some more wise wisdom you happened to learn from rehab?”
Caden rolled his eyes in return, though while grinning. “Shut up. I'll see you later.” He walked out of the apartment, closing the door behind him as MYOJIN simply stood there for a few moments.
At least they still had a friend.
The more I think about it, the more I start to realize just why you piss me off so much. It's exactly the flaw that you happen to think is a strength:
You. Don't. Care.
You don't care as much about this as I do, or any of the best wrestlers in the world do. You haven't shown the same motivation, the same drive, because all you do is run around in a circle. You think your neutrality is something to be proud of because it makes you “not like other girls”, but in reality, I have to wonder. Do you believe in anything? What are your goals as a wrestler beyond trying to win some gold and brag about it?
I have gotten too far, I have sacrificed so much to get where I am right now and I refuse to let all my hard work end at the hands of a wannabe.
It frustrates me, Swinny-poo, because I know that under all of that mediocrity- is real potential. I've seen it in your matches. I've seen flashes of it within you. It's not that you lack real talent, it's not that you aren't skilled. It's just that maybe if you didn't have the attitude of a fifteen-year-old boy who just discovered Nine Inch Nails for the first time, maybe you'd actually be able to do something with that untapped potential that you show. And I hope, I truly do, that maybe once I kick your ass and give you a reality check as I have done to every other person that's faced for me for MY belt- that you will finally grow up, drop the main character syndrome, and realize that you could be more than you actually are. That's why I decided for you to be my next challenger.
But maybe I'm wrong about you. Maybe all you are is just a woulda-been, coulda-been, shoulda-been disappointment. Maybe you'll even double down on that and sink even further than where you currently are.
I go out there every single match I'm in to entertain, to give that audience their money's worth. I aim to change the world of professional wrestling, to help it evolve, to shape it in my image. I want to make Project: Honor the greatest promotion in the entire world, and in order to do that? I need the rest of you to catch up and stop lagging behind. If you refuse to improve- then I will drag you, kicking and screaming, toward progress. So show me something, Swindle. Show me that you actually are passionate about this. Give me your all and nothing less. I want the best version of you, I want a fight.
At Proving Ground, I'm going to put you under more pressure than you've ever felt in your life.
And either you'll finally become a diamond, or you'll shatter into a million worthless pieces.