Post by Lil Petey on Mar 15, 2022 9:40:36 GMT -5
”PETEY GETS A SURPRISE FROM HANNAH”
PART TWO
w/ HANNAH MORRISON
also w/ COLE MADDEN as the narrator as usual
FEBRUARY 11TH 2022
SOMEWHERE BLINDFOLDED
[on camera]
PART TWO
w/ HANNAH MORRISON
also w/ COLE MADDEN as the narrator as usual
FEBRUARY 11TH 2022
SOMEWHERE BLINDFOLDED
[on camera]
Alright, I finally finished editing this for the public to see, so we’re back with the next part of this surprise that Hannah has for Petey! His birthday is in a couple days, he’s starting his retirement tour and a few other things to celebrate that are on the horizon for him! I made sure Petey wasn’t around when I edited this time so hopefully there’s no more interruptions.
Like I said before, we’re in front of this massive ass tent. Really just looks like a massive tent. There’s no signage, no decorations, nothing. If I hadn’t known what was already in here, I’d probably think I was getting murdered or something. So, Hannah grabs a hold of Petey by the arm and prepares him for what’s next.
“These last few months have been so amazing and you’ve done so much for me that I didn’t even ask for. This time I wanted to repay the favor. You’re retiring from wrestling soon, your birthday is in a couple days and then all that other stuff you told me not to talk about yet - there’s just so much to celebrate with you! Are you ready?”
Petey licks his lips and starts taking his clothes off in slow motion, probably trying to be sexy. Somehow it started working on Hannah and I had to get her to refocus without saying anything because he doesn’t know I’m actually here right now.
“No, babe, not that! Are you ready for me to take the blindfold off?”
“Well shit, I guess so.”
Hannah unwraps the blindfold and awaits Petey’s reaction to seeing the tent. He immediately tried to run, but I figured he was going to and caught him before he got too far.
“Chill dawg, this is a good surprise.”
“NAH FAM, I DON’T FUCK WITH NO CLOWNS, YOU FEEL ME?!”
“Petey, relax. I know you don’t like clowns, so there are none here. Like Cole said, this is a good surprise. Don’t you trust me?”
Hannah rubs her hand on his arm to calm him down and then slides her hand down to hold his.
“Okay, so like are we going in there or did you just get me a big ass tent?”
Hannah chuckled at Petey and then started walking with him to the entrance.
“OPEN SESAME!”
As the opening of the tent revealed what was inside, Petey lost his fucking mind. Also what was with him saying ‘open sesame’? Anyways, he ran inside forgetting Hannah and I in amazement of what was inside.
”Did you cast some fucking spell to make it look even bigger in here? HOW DID YOU FIT ALL THIS IN A TENT WHAT THE FUCK?!”
Balloons, cake, circus people without clowns, a bar and so much more were in this tent, like Hannah went all out for this. Circus people are swinging from their ropes or trapeze or whatever they’re called and Petey just stares with his jaw dropped.
”Better close that mouth before someone puts their dick in it.”
I couldn’t help myself, but he immediately closed his mouth and grabbed Hannah’s hand, pulling her all over the place to see what else there was. He found a chocolate fountain, or so he thought, when in reality it was a fountain of kahlua. It was after he turned away from the kahlua fountain that he saw the greatest thing he had ever seen - a mountain of Truly’s with every flavor imaginable.
”AIN’T NO WAY YOU DID THIS FOR ME!!”
My favorite part of this was about to happen as Petey gets closer to the mountain of Truly’s. Around the corner comes the ugliest fucking clown you could picture and Petey has no idea because he’s so focused on Truly Mountain. The clown creeps up on him and Hannah has to hide her face because she had no idea I was going to do this. After a few more seconds of creeping, the clown stands right next to Petey and pokes him on the shoulder.
Without hesitation, Petey freaks out and grabs the clown by the head and connects his finishing move, MP3. He hit that jumping cutter on the clown right onto the ground and knocked that motherfucker out too quick. After a couple seconds of staring down at it, he looks over at me, knowing that I was at fault for the clown. Instead of yelling at me, he starts stomping an absolute mudhole into this clown. I mean like STOMPING all over him.
Finally he stops after Hannah puts her hand on his back and backs away from the clown. Hannah definitely thought he was about to give me the business, but instead…
”Thanks fam, I needed that. Fuck clowns, you feel me?”
Of course he still had to punch my arm, but I’ll take it. He fucked that clown up and I think might’ve conquered his fear of them. Or at least knows he can beat the shit out of them if one gets close.
Honestly, I’m surprised it’s taken him this long to really see what else there is, because this isn’t it! Petey turns the opposite direction of Truly Mountain and notices there’s a little zoo area with some monkeys, sloths, and even some penguins. With Hannah’s hand locked in his, he runs and pulls her with him straight to the monkeys.
”CHARLIE?? WHAT THE HELL YOU DOIN’ HERE, MAN?”
Charlie the Druggie Monkey turns to see Petey and starts jumping up and down. It wasn’t much longer before he turns back and starts making random noises at a fellow monkey.
”Wait Charlie, don’t do that!!”
Charlie smacks the monkey next to him and then walks up to another one nearby and puts his arm around it’s shoulder.
”Aww, he was defending his love interest! That’s so cute.”
And then things started going south with Charlie doing some things that we didn't want to watch. Petey kept a hold of Hannah and they ran to the penguins that were just waddling around.
”Why does that one look like a straight up thug? WHATTUP G!”
”You like high as shit, homie. What you smokin’ on?”
Hannah giggles at Petey and then starts to pull on him.
”Come here, there’s more!”
Hannah grabs a hold of Petey again, this time pulling him towards the food area where there’s a spread of all of his favorite foods - basically just junk. We got cake, tacos, pizza, chilli, and so much more. Of course we had to top it off with the Truly’s. Yeah there was Truly Mountain, but that was more for the aesthetic than to drink. Now it’s party time! Petey chugs a Truly and then fills up his plate full of his favorite foods and just spins in a circle trying to find a place to sit.
”Ayo, where we gonna sit?”
There was no seating at all. Nothing… but Hannah had something up her sleeve.
”You’re cute when you’re confused.”
Instead of pulling on him since he has a plate full of food in his hands, she guides him to the last area before they just start enjoying everything - the gaming area. His eyes opened so wide and got so excited that he almost dropped the food while he sprinted to the seat. PS5, XBOX Series X, Switch, all of it was here. He grabbed the PS5 controller and loaded up Elden Ring without hesitation.
”Petey… are you sure you wanna play that right now?”
He has a bad rage problem when it comes to video games… like bad.
”I’m good. Got my girl, some good food. I’m happy. Ain’t gonna let this game ruin it for me. LET’S GOOOOOOO!”
At least he wasn’t lying. Petey was TRULY happy right now and it was nice to see… for now. I know how he gets and it’s only a matter of time.
Petey makes his character, loads in and gets through the tutorial pretty easily. Something I will say about him, he’s pretty good at games. Which I guess is why he rages when he loses? I’m not really sure. But I knew something was coming up that was going to mess with him good. He walks out of the tutorial area to the open world and gets the site of grace to level up. After walking down the cliff, he sees an enemy with gold armor on a horse with a big ass spear or halberd or whatever it is. The dumbass he is walked right up to it and started talking shit.
”The fuck you need all that for when I’m about to wreck yo shit, homie!”
The second he finished talking, the enemy swings it’s weapon and one shots Petey. He goes silent for a second and then unleashes hell. Throws the controller at the computer and then turns around to see the cameraperson filming this - me, and then-
Like I said before, we’re in front of this massive ass tent. Really just looks like a massive tent. There’s no signage, no decorations, nothing. If I hadn’t known what was already in here, I’d probably think I was getting murdered or something. So, Hannah grabs a hold of Petey by the arm and prepares him for what’s next.
“These last few months have been so amazing and you’ve done so much for me that I didn’t even ask for. This time I wanted to repay the favor. You’re retiring from wrestling soon, your birthday is in a couple days and then all that other stuff you told me not to talk about yet - there’s just so much to celebrate with you! Are you ready?”
Petey licks his lips and starts taking his clothes off in slow motion, probably trying to be sexy. Somehow it started working on Hannah and I had to get her to refocus without saying anything because he doesn’t know I’m actually here right now.
“No, babe, not that! Are you ready for me to take the blindfold off?”
“Well shit, I guess so.”
Hannah unwraps the blindfold and awaits Petey’s reaction to seeing the tent. He immediately tried to run, but I figured he was going to and caught him before he got too far.
“Chill dawg, this is a good surprise.”
“NAH FAM, I DON’T FUCK WITH NO CLOWNS, YOU FEEL ME?!”
“Petey, relax. I know you don’t like clowns, so there are none here. Like Cole said, this is a good surprise. Don’t you trust me?”
Hannah rubs her hand on his arm to calm him down and then slides her hand down to hold his.
“Okay, so like are we going in there or did you just get me a big ass tent?”
Hannah chuckled at Petey and then started walking with him to the entrance.
“OPEN SESAME!”
As the opening of the tent revealed what was inside, Petey lost his fucking mind. Also what was with him saying ‘open sesame’? Anyways, he ran inside forgetting Hannah and I in amazement of what was inside.
”Did you cast some fucking spell to make it look even bigger in here? HOW DID YOU FIT ALL THIS IN A TENT WHAT THE FUCK?!”
Balloons, cake, circus people without clowns, a bar and so much more were in this tent, like Hannah went all out for this. Circus people are swinging from their ropes or trapeze or whatever they’re called and Petey just stares with his jaw dropped.
”Better close that mouth before someone puts their dick in it.”
I couldn’t help myself, but he immediately closed his mouth and grabbed Hannah’s hand, pulling her all over the place to see what else there was. He found a chocolate fountain, or so he thought, when in reality it was a fountain of kahlua. It was after he turned away from the kahlua fountain that he saw the greatest thing he had ever seen - a mountain of Truly’s with every flavor imaginable.
”AIN’T NO WAY YOU DID THIS FOR ME!!”
My favorite part of this was about to happen as Petey gets closer to the mountain of Truly’s. Around the corner comes the ugliest fucking clown you could picture and Petey has no idea because he’s so focused on Truly Mountain. The clown creeps up on him and Hannah has to hide her face because she had no idea I was going to do this. After a few more seconds of creeping, the clown stands right next to Petey and pokes him on the shoulder.
Without hesitation, Petey freaks out and grabs the clown by the head and connects his finishing move, MP3. He hit that jumping cutter on the clown right onto the ground and knocked that motherfucker out too quick. After a couple seconds of staring down at it, he looks over at me, knowing that I was at fault for the clown. Instead of yelling at me, he starts stomping an absolute mudhole into this clown. I mean like STOMPING all over him.
Finally he stops after Hannah puts her hand on his back and backs away from the clown. Hannah definitely thought he was about to give me the business, but instead…
”Thanks fam, I needed that. Fuck clowns, you feel me?”
Of course he still had to punch my arm, but I’ll take it. He fucked that clown up and I think might’ve conquered his fear of them. Or at least knows he can beat the shit out of them if one gets close.
Honestly, I’m surprised it’s taken him this long to really see what else there is, because this isn’t it! Petey turns the opposite direction of Truly Mountain and notices there’s a little zoo area with some monkeys, sloths, and even some penguins. With Hannah’s hand locked in his, he runs and pulls her with him straight to the monkeys.
”CHARLIE?? WHAT THE HELL YOU DOIN’ HERE, MAN?”
Charlie the Druggie Monkey turns to see Petey and starts jumping up and down. It wasn’t much longer before he turns back and starts making random noises at a fellow monkey.
”Wait Charlie, don’t do that!!”
Charlie smacks the monkey next to him and then walks up to another one nearby and puts his arm around it’s shoulder.
”Aww, he was defending his love interest! That’s so cute.”
And then things started going south with Charlie doing some things that we didn't want to watch. Petey kept a hold of Hannah and they ran to the penguins that were just waddling around.
”Why does that one look like a straight up thug? WHATTUP G!”
”You like high as shit, homie. What you smokin’ on?”
Hannah giggles at Petey and then starts to pull on him.
”Come here, there’s more!”
Hannah grabs a hold of Petey again, this time pulling him towards the food area where there’s a spread of all of his favorite foods - basically just junk. We got cake, tacos, pizza, chilli, and so much more. Of course we had to top it off with the Truly’s. Yeah there was Truly Mountain, but that was more for the aesthetic than to drink. Now it’s party time! Petey chugs a Truly and then fills up his plate full of his favorite foods and just spins in a circle trying to find a place to sit.
”Ayo, where we gonna sit?”
There was no seating at all. Nothing… but Hannah had something up her sleeve.
”You’re cute when you’re confused.”
Instead of pulling on him since he has a plate full of food in his hands, she guides him to the last area before they just start enjoying everything - the gaming area. His eyes opened so wide and got so excited that he almost dropped the food while he sprinted to the seat. PS5, XBOX Series X, Switch, all of it was here. He grabbed the PS5 controller and loaded up Elden Ring without hesitation.
”Petey… are you sure you wanna play that right now?”
He has a bad rage problem when it comes to video games… like bad.
”I’m good. Got my girl, some good food. I’m happy. Ain’t gonna let this game ruin it for me. LET’S GOOOOOOO!”
At least he wasn’t lying. Petey was TRULY happy right now and it was nice to see… for now. I know how he gets and it’s only a matter of time.
Petey makes his character, loads in and gets through the tutorial pretty easily. Something I will say about him, he’s pretty good at games. Which I guess is why he rages when he loses? I’m not really sure. But I knew something was coming up that was going to mess with him good. He walks out of the tutorial area to the open world and gets the site of grace to level up. After walking down the cliff, he sees an enemy with gold armor on a horse with a big ass spear or halberd or whatever it is. The dumbass he is walked right up to it and started talking shit.
”The fuck you need all that for when I’m about to wreck yo shit, homie!”
The second he finished talking, the enemy swings it’s weapon and one shots Petey. He goes silent for a second and then unleashes hell. Throws the controller at the computer and then turns around to see the cameraperson filming this - me, and then-
”PETEY TALKS HIS SHIT”
w/ COLE MADDEN as the narrator as usual
LIL PETEY vs. LANCE WILLIAMS
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE
FALLOUT XXII
MARCH 12TH, 2022
SOME CONSTRUCTION COMPANY
[on camera]
w/ COLE MADDEN as the narrator as usual
LIL PETEY vs. LANCE WILLIAMS
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE
FALLOUT XXII
MARCH 12TH, 2022
SOME CONSTRUCTION COMPANY
[on camera]
Let me just start this out by saying that I have absolutely no idea why we’re here. Petey has never operated any type of heavy machinery nor really done any type of construction in his life. For some reason, he wanted to come here for a little bit to prove a point about something. We just got here to whatever the fuck this place is called and Petey already has a huge smile on his face. I just let him be for a minute while we walk through. He doesn’t say a single word but has a smile on his face as he continues to wander aimlessly.
After we finally make our way throughout the entire of this place, he walks up to one of the workers and pauses.
”Ayo, do y’all not use any bulldozers here?”
“Nope, we use motor graders here. They’re more efficient and cause less disturbance in the soil which proves to be better for the environment!”
With a huge ass smile on his face, Petey looks directly at me and into the camera.
”Did you get that? Bulldozers ain’t shit! HAHA!”
“Well, don’t get me wrong, they are-“
”The worst, yeah we heard you. Thanks, fam.”
“That’s not what I was-“
Petey cut off the hard worker again and just started to walk away. We continued back through the place and onto the work site where we saw nothing but motor graders instead of bulldozers.
”It’s cray cray to think that someone that claims to be a bulldozer thinks he’s such a badass when he’s so bad for the environment, isn’t as efficient as a motor grader of all things and all these other bad things that that fine worker of this establishment was mentioning. Why would you wanna be second best to something else? Don’t you want to be the best? Don’t you want to be more efficient? I don’t know man, if you ask me… a bulldozer is the last thing I’d want to be.
That’s why I’m Mr. Hydration! The Big Booty Bandit! The Drip Sensation! The MILF Hunter! All of these things are essential to life. Gotta stay hydrated to survive. Gotta have the booty to survive. Gotta have the drip to survive. And definitely gotta have the MILFs to survive! All of this versus a lousy bulldozer. SMH. This could’ve have worked out better to keep my Retirement Tour going with this easy dub against this fool.
Y’all remember when he was all up on Big Drip’s dicks tryna fit in? He tried to pry his way into our group and when he realized he couldn’t fit in, he ditched and then decided to become our enemy. Which like… first of all, why would you wanna be our enemy. WE’RE FUCKIN’ DRIPPIN’ AND GOATED! I’m not one to judge, but I’m definitely judging this dude’s life decisions. He goes and gets this makeover to make himself look more of a ‘badass’ and then comes back to beat on me when I’m not ready and now wants to put me to an end? Or at least I can only assume that’s what he wants considering he would’ve kept beating on me if it wasn’t for my boy CADDY DADDY!
Hey yo, what’s this shit over here?”
Ah shit, Petey found a bulldozer. Turns out this place had one on display this whole time and somehow we looked over it, probably because they ain’t shit.
”Look at this piece of junk.”
You know how they always say not to touch something you can’t buy? Or keep your hands to yourself? Or if you’re not gonna buy it don’t touch it? Which is probably close to the first one, but whatever. Anyways, Petey disregarded all of that. He literally just poked the bulldozer and it came crashing down. It fell apart with one poke and instead of getting skittish or whatever, he posed right next to it for a selfie.
CLICK
He snapped the selfie and just stared at his phone laughing. After a few seconds of doing that he showed his screen to the camera.
”Unreliable, unefficient, bad for the environment… these things don’t just describe this piece of shit right here, but also you Lance. HA! GOT EEM!”
Petey put his phone away and walked up to the nearest worker to him.
”Yo haha, I can pay to replace that because I’m sure it wasn’t worth much in the first place, you feel me?”
“Don’t worry about it, sir! It was placed there for that sole purpose - to show just how worthless they are, especially compared to these motor graders!”
”There you have it, homies. The Bulldozer ain’t shit compared to a motor grader. What’s my point, you ask? Well I’m no motor grader, but at least we know bulldozers aren’t it!”
For someone so dumb, he’s onto something. I’m not quite sure what yet, but I’m sure he’ll get there… maybe. After wrapping up at this place, we were headed to get off the site, but Petey sprinted back to grab a piece of the fallen bulldozer.
”You try any fuck shit in this match, Lance, imma smack you in the face with this junk, just like you are. HA! GOT EEM AGAIN!”
At this point the workers were starting to get annoyed so we had to leave pretty quickly. We got in the car, drove around a bit and then Petey found another construction site without a single bulldozer. Of course he wanted to pull over for a minute, so we get out and sit on the hood of the car and just watch intently as not a single bulldozer is seen on the site.
”I wanted to end this tour with good vibes and good matches with people who have been close to me or have wanted to just have a good fight on good terms. I guess it couldn’t have been perfect, but I got to start it out with a win against the KaVengers. Went to The Crowning to face them again and also that shitty ass cult that’s thankfully falling apart and lost there. Faced the homie Caddy Daddy and was having a great match until you decided to stick your big ass nose where it didn’t belong. And now I gotta deal with you before moving onto the last couple matches before I just focus on running the place. I don’t think you realize you fucked with the wrong person this time, homie. I’m not only part-owner of this place, but I’m also co-GM of the show you’re going to be on. Why? Because your dumbass got fired from Proving Ground and you’re lucky I don’t just fire you right now. That’d be GOATed though, not gonna lie there.
You decided to attack me, so now we’re going to Spring Break in a Falls Count Anywhere match on the show that I GM. The odds just stack against you, dawg. That doesn’t matter to you because for some reason you’re always so angry. Like, your vibes are always way off. You think with your anger instead of your head, which there isn’t much up there anyways, but still. You wanna run through everything with your ‘strength’ instead of enjoying life and being that bitch ass tool you used to be. I preferred him because at least he was chillin’. You just tried too hard, that was your problem. Now you’re really trying too hard. Yo ass got fired and came back to pick a different problem. Like you don’t think I’m gonna have people ready to come help if you try some fuck shit? You don’t think I won’t use this piece of broken bulldozer to knock yo ass out?
I may be the most dripped out person on this entire roster. I may be one of the richest. I may have the hottest girlfriend. But one thing I may not be is a good wrestler.
Wait…
That’s not- FUCK!
Actually nah, that works. I may not be a good wrestler, but I got people that got my back because all I do is try to spread good vibes and enjoy the little things. What do you have? Some muscles you got by spending all your free time in the gym? What’s that gonna do? You gonna pummel me into the ground? Remember when my boy tentacle man tried that and I just crowd surfed instead?
This is my Retirement Tour and I along with plenty of others throughout this fine company want to see it go down GOATED. I can say it’s going to be nice to shut yo bitch ass up finally. IT’S SPRANG BREAK BITCHES! WE BOUT TO GET LITTY WITH THE TITTIES AND BREAK DOWN THIS BULLDOZER SO WE CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME FOR A LONG TIME!
SHEEEEEEEEEEEESHHHHHH!!!”
After we finally make our way throughout the entire of this place, he walks up to one of the workers and pauses.
”Ayo, do y’all not use any bulldozers here?”
“Nope, we use motor graders here. They’re more efficient and cause less disturbance in the soil which proves to be better for the environment!”
With a huge ass smile on his face, Petey looks directly at me and into the camera.
”Did you get that? Bulldozers ain’t shit! HAHA!”
“Well, don’t get me wrong, they are-“
”The worst, yeah we heard you. Thanks, fam.”
“That’s not what I was-“
Petey cut off the hard worker again and just started to walk away. We continued back through the place and onto the work site where we saw nothing but motor graders instead of bulldozers.
”It’s cray cray to think that someone that claims to be a bulldozer thinks he’s such a badass when he’s so bad for the environment, isn’t as efficient as a motor grader of all things and all these other bad things that that fine worker of this establishment was mentioning. Why would you wanna be second best to something else? Don’t you want to be the best? Don’t you want to be more efficient? I don’t know man, if you ask me… a bulldozer is the last thing I’d want to be.
That’s why I’m Mr. Hydration! The Big Booty Bandit! The Drip Sensation! The MILF Hunter! All of these things are essential to life. Gotta stay hydrated to survive. Gotta have the booty to survive. Gotta have the drip to survive. And definitely gotta have the MILFs to survive! All of this versus a lousy bulldozer. SMH. This could’ve have worked out better to keep my Retirement Tour going with this easy dub against this fool.
Y’all remember when he was all up on Big Drip’s dicks tryna fit in? He tried to pry his way into our group and when he realized he couldn’t fit in, he ditched and then decided to become our enemy. Which like… first of all, why would you wanna be our enemy. WE’RE FUCKIN’ DRIPPIN’ AND GOATED! I’m not one to judge, but I’m definitely judging this dude’s life decisions. He goes and gets this makeover to make himself look more of a ‘badass’ and then comes back to beat on me when I’m not ready and now wants to put me to an end? Or at least I can only assume that’s what he wants considering he would’ve kept beating on me if it wasn’t for my boy CADDY DADDY!
Hey yo, what’s this shit over here?”
Ah shit, Petey found a bulldozer. Turns out this place had one on display this whole time and somehow we looked over it, probably because they ain’t shit.
”Look at this piece of junk.”
You know how they always say not to touch something you can’t buy? Or keep your hands to yourself? Or if you’re not gonna buy it don’t touch it? Which is probably close to the first one, but whatever. Anyways, Petey disregarded all of that. He literally just poked the bulldozer and it came crashing down. It fell apart with one poke and instead of getting skittish or whatever, he posed right next to it for a selfie.
CLICK
He snapped the selfie and just stared at his phone laughing. After a few seconds of doing that he showed his screen to the camera.
”Unreliable, unefficient, bad for the environment… these things don’t just describe this piece of shit right here, but also you Lance. HA! GOT EEM!”
Petey put his phone away and walked up to the nearest worker to him.
”Yo haha, I can pay to replace that because I’m sure it wasn’t worth much in the first place, you feel me?”
“Don’t worry about it, sir! It was placed there for that sole purpose - to show just how worthless they are, especially compared to these motor graders!”
”There you have it, homies. The Bulldozer ain’t shit compared to a motor grader. What’s my point, you ask? Well I’m no motor grader, but at least we know bulldozers aren’t it!”
For someone so dumb, he’s onto something. I’m not quite sure what yet, but I’m sure he’ll get there… maybe. After wrapping up at this place, we were headed to get off the site, but Petey sprinted back to grab a piece of the fallen bulldozer.
”You try any fuck shit in this match, Lance, imma smack you in the face with this junk, just like you are. HA! GOT EEM AGAIN!”
At this point the workers were starting to get annoyed so we had to leave pretty quickly. We got in the car, drove around a bit and then Petey found another construction site without a single bulldozer. Of course he wanted to pull over for a minute, so we get out and sit on the hood of the car and just watch intently as not a single bulldozer is seen on the site.
”I wanted to end this tour with good vibes and good matches with people who have been close to me or have wanted to just have a good fight on good terms. I guess it couldn’t have been perfect, but I got to start it out with a win against the KaVengers. Went to The Crowning to face them again and also that shitty ass cult that’s thankfully falling apart and lost there. Faced the homie Caddy Daddy and was having a great match until you decided to stick your big ass nose where it didn’t belong. And now I gotta deal with you before moving onto the last couple matches before I just focus on running the place. I don’t think you realize you fucked with the wrong person this time, homie. I’m not only part-owner of this place, but I’m also co-GM of the show you’re going to be on. Why? Because your dumbass got fired from Proving Ground and you’re lucky I don’t just fire you right now. That’d be GOATed though, not gonna lie there.
You decided to attack me, so now we’re going to Spring Break in a Falls Count Anywhere match on the show that I GM. The odds just stack against you, dawg. That doesn’t matter to you because for some reason you’re always so angry. Like, your vibes are always way off. You think with your anger instead of your head, which there isn’t much up there anyways, but still. You wanna run through everything with your ‘strength’ instead of enjoying life and being that bitch ass tool you used to be. I preferred him because at least he was chillin’. You just tried too hard, that was your problem. Now you’re really trying too hard. Yo ass got fired and came back to pick a different problem. Like you don’t think I’m gonna have people ready to come help if you try some fuck shit? You don’t think I won’t use this piece of broken bulldozer to knock yo ass out?
I may be the most dripped out person on this entire roster. I may be one of the richest. I may have the hottest girlfriend. But one thing I may not be is a good wrestler.
Wait…
That’s not- FUCK!
Actually nah, that works. I may not be a good wrestler, but I got people that got my back because all I do is try to spread good vibes and enjoy the little things. What do you have? Some muscles you got by spending all your free time in the gym? What’s that gonna do? You gonna pummel me into the ground? Remember when my boy tentacle man tried that and I just crowd surfed instead?
This is my Retirement Tour and I along with plenty of others throughout this fine company want to see it go down GOATED. I can say it’s going to be nice to shut yo bitch ass up finally. IT’S SPRANG BREAK BITCHES! WE BOUT TO GET LITTY WITH THE TITTIES AND BREAK DOWN THIS BULLDOZER SO WE CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME FOR A LONG TIME!
SHEEEEEEEEEEEESHHHHHH!!!”
