Post by emmanuelle on Mar 2, 2022 23:58:28 GMT -5
This isn’t the first time I’ve had to come up from the bottom. People like to think that this is just easy for me. That I simply coast off the name of a man who came before me. That this doesn’t require much effort. In some respects, it doesn’t. I’ve been an athlete all my life. Basketball, water polo, soccer, you name it I’ve probably tried my hand at it. God-given athletic ability? I’ll give you all that, I have that in spades. There is one thing that I’ve learned in my couple of years as a professional wrestler: you can have all the physical attributes but if you don’t have the mentality of a winner you won’t stay in this sport long. There are some anomalies to be sure, but most of us wrestlers aren’t superhuman. We can’t just do all of this all the time without taking a few Ls, right?
Look at me. I’m pretty as hell in that picture right? This was during that small window of time where I was a double champion. Shogun Championship in one hand, Warrior Rising Championship in the other! Nobody could tell me a damn thing, man! But the time at the top was fleeting. In a little more than two weeks after becoming a double champion, the Shogun Championship was taken from me. I didn’t handle it very well.
Why not? Why didn’t I handle it well? There is no one particular answer to that. I like to think that it was a combination of things. I was still struggling with my commitment to wrestling. I trained hard, but I didn’t try to learn. There was no evolution to my game for a while. Then, I lost the Warrior Rising title as well, this person a hell of a lot prettier than the other two guys to beat me for belts. So. There I was. I was titleless, I was hurting, I was seriously thinking about just walking away from all of this. A lot of people who walk in these halls and into these locker rooms, this was the biggest thing in their lives. This was their dream. I can’t say that it was ever for me. The longer that I’ve remained in this sport, the longer that I’m starting to feel it consuming me.
Not consuming me just in the sense of a physical toll. Being in there with all these guys and girls means you’re putting your body through hell. I can’t tell you guys how many nights I’ve been in bed wishing for the pain to stop. Not that I’m any different from anyone else who puts on boots, of course. It’s part of the price we pay. But the thing that’s really getting to me is that I’m starting to truly care. I care about these titles. I care about these bigger matches more. I care about my reputation as a professional wrestler a little more. Does that mean I’m going to stop drinking and womanizing completely? No. But not as much. I went from railing against people who I thought conspired against me to helping people even when I had no reason to do otherwise. I went from a little brat to a maturing woman, someone who is capable of standing on her own even if I fall sometimes. I started to evolve, as a person, as a wrestler. Arata and plenty of other people think I changed my look to hide the pain that I was feeling when I lost a title for the first time. Nah. That was about building anew.
![]()
And we built pretty damn well, didn’t we? I never thought that being mired in the losing streak that I was, having the rough close of December that just after the new year opened up I would be sitting on top of the world. It may have shocked the world that I beat Arata to take the Grand Championship and get a taste of what holding it was like, but it didn’t quite shock me. I just never thought I would have a chance to face him so soon. What you saw in that victory was yours truly still evolving. Still reaching for new moves, for new horizons, new inspiration. All birthed out of growing love for what I do for a living.
But my growth didn’t just cease there. Arata doesn’t realize it, but he did indeed steer my career in a new direction but not necessarily in the way that he thinks. You see, Arata loves to paint himself as the shiny mentor, the guiding light of my career. From the first time I scouted one of his matches in Japan, I always looked at him as a rival, not as a friend and certainly not as a mentor. He is the one that spurs me on. Not because he’s Grand Champion. That’s not the point. The point is that he’s one of the few people that I have wrestled and instantly know that I’m going in at a disadvantage. Sabertooth had the toughness and rage that Havoc bestowed on him. Tara Fenix had guiled that belied her beauty. Arata has not just these kinds of attributes but when he’s at the top of his game he has no weaknesses. He’s technically sound, athletic, willing to brawl. His strength is underrated. In my opinion, he may be unbeatable when he’s at his best.
Unfortunately for me, he was at tThe Crowning. But you know what? This loss isn’t going to hinder me the same way that my first two did. I’ve learned what it means to grind to greatness now, but I’ve also learned that even that isn’t enough. I have to find that hidden final gear that people like those three seem to have in them. But, even if I stumble again, I’ve already made a promise to myself. No matter how battered my body gets, no matter how heartbreaking and frustrating the loss is, I will keep going. Why? Because I’ve already been to Rock Bottom. Why should I fear the grind back to the top?
My journey, just like my ambition…will never end.
Rio De Janeiro
Sena’s Preparations
Sena couldn’t help but notice a change in his mentor. She was obviously still a little annoyed and banged-up from her encounter with Arata and losing the Grand Championship but she carried on with helping him get ready for his grand official debut to the world: OWA’s Clash of the Titans. She had promised that she would come and she had, even if it was a massive inconvenience since she had other obligations she needed to attend to. She had grown fond of Sena, so much so that she actually started coaching him a little more than simply yelling and beating him (Also known as the Carlos Rosso method). Carlos had brought in several young toughs from the Rio streets to help Sena prepare for his entrance into the massive battle royal he was scheduled to compete in. Everything from jujitsu fighters, random street thugs, capoeira fighters, even a few Brazilian based wrestlers that Carlos was scouting to train in Baton Rouge. Sena had to try and work his way around every situation that the troop put them in, all while Emmanuelle tried to coach him up. After about forty-five minutes of grueling sparring, the young wrestler finally got his rest. Emmy hopped into the ring to speak to him and also make sure he wasn’t beaten up too bady.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah…..just a little tired.”
“Matches like this will do that to ya. I’ve been in a couple myself, so I get it. What you just went through was about as tough of a simulation as to what we could put you through without leaving you completely gassed for the match. There’s forty people in there and you may be out there even longer.”
Sena managed a sly little grin, despite his fatigue.
“Everyone won’t be trying to beat the shit out of me though, you know? I’m a small fry to a lot of those guys, I may be able to sneak in a few quick breaks because they’re hunting for the big dogs.”
Emmy smacked him upside the head with her fist in an obviously playful manner, somehow smiling yet remaining serious with her words.
“First, language! Second, you may get that luxury but it’s not guaranteed. A lot of guys will just hit anything that moves out there, young lion or not. Plus, after the way you sonned Arata’s little whipping boy I don’t think you’ll be able to play the shrinking violet.”
“You know why I say that though? You saw the things said on social media, at the press conferences. When I’m mentioned, none of them give a damn. Not even Theodor Pavel! They all see me as no threat.”
“Listen to me.”
Emmy took a deep breath. She and Sena really had two different tracks to wrestling. She was the woman who hated it but had a natural gift; he was a lifelong fan who wasn’t blessed with some of the physical attributes but worked hard with what he was given and made it work. Even so, he seemed to relate and respond to her more than Carlos’s drill sergeant mentality.
“When I first started wrestling in big companies, people knew who I was. Some of them were gunning for me not just because of who I was trained by but how I behaved as well. I can’t relate to your struggles, I’m not going to pretend to. People may not know you, not even respect you, but a match like this is an opportunity for you to be heard. You have a chance to shock the world. When I had my first title match. I was undefeated and still a heavy underdog. But I didn’t let what other people’s beliefs about me dictate MY belief, you understand? I believed in myself and got it done. Got it all the way done. You don’t have a title to fight for just yet, but you have a chance to make a lasting impression. All those people who think they’re gonna just walk over you? You have a chance to show them what you can do. So, take it from someone who knows a little about disrespect, use it as fuel, but don’t let yourself get down about it, understand?”
Sena nodded before starting to guzzle some water. Since this was their test run before the big match, there would be no more crazy workouts. Only stretching and light cardio to keep the Japanese-American loose. After delivering this little pep talk Emmy noticed their mentor beckoning for her to come speak.
“You’ve changed. A few weeks ago you were driving his ass even harder than I would have. Now you’re all of a sudden the sports psychiatrist and shit. What’s all that about?”
“What do you mean? I told him the truth!”
“I know. That’s why I’m surprised. Sena’s got a good head on his shoulders.He really does. He needs someone like you to guide him a little bit. Your paths to the top are different in every way possible, but I think you can help get him where he needs to go, know what I mean?”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you for taking him under your wing for me. I’m proud of you. Even when you lose, even when you’re hurting the way that I know you’re hurting right now- and don’t bullshit me that you’re still not pissed off about that match. You’re in pain. Every wrestler whose ever been worth a damn knows that pain. But even with all that, you travel thousands of miles from home to help this poor sap who has a snowball’s chance in hell of winning this thing. You’re a good mentor and a better friend than you realize.”
“...Thank you.”
“I heard through the grapevine that you’re going to wrestle Arata again. This time in a tag match?”
“Uh-huh. I’ll be ready.”
Trainer and student exchanged little knowing grins. Emmy was always one to be quiet about her preparations, but the look in her eyes even while she was grinning let Carlos know straight away that she would definitely be ready.
“Kick some ass then. Oh…one more thing…what’s this shit I heard about you having a little honey? And a fellow wrestler at that!?”
Carlos clicked his tongue and shook his head a bit as an obviously flustered Emmy looked at him. He tilted his head towards Sena, outing the snitch right away.
“Yeah….he told me that Tara chick is even cuter than her Twitter posts would have you believe. I’m actually impressed you were able to.-
“SEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”
And thus, Sena’s second, more impromptu workout began as Emmy started chasing him around the gym, avoiding her throwing things and shouting obscenities at an alarming rate.
What do the other three men in this match have in common? They’re all men who have beaten me in the past. I hear a lot of talk about how this match is so important, so prestigious, so filled with talent! Two former Grand Champions teaming together to face the current Champion and one of Proving Ground’s rising stars! But the problem with that narrative is that this match isn’t about Swindle trying to prove a point or Arata asserting himself or my tag partner proving that his apparent stewardship of the Legacy title is justified. This match is about one person and one person alone: Me.
Okay, okay. I get it, I know that sounds arrogant as hell, but think about it! Arata’s Grand Champion. He just beat me two out of three falls for the damn thing! Shelldrake’s been on a tear; my tag team partner may be one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. But look at this from my perspective. I have a chance to show that even though I lost the Grand Championship I still have plenty of fight to offer to anyone willing to step in the ring and fight me. I have a chance to reassert myself right back into the picture for the Grand Championship…
Which oddly enough…..I’m not sure I want at the moment.
Everyone has their reasons for wanting to show up for this match. Arata’s hell bent on just crushing everyone in front of him and I know from experience that he’s capable of that. Swindon is desperate for an opportunity. He’s been quietly building himself up, racking up wins, flying somehow juuuuuuuuust under the radar when it comes to challenging for some of the other titles. This is a guy who managed to put that big lug with the mask down at one time so I know he can fight.
I’m not here to try to just get revenge on Arata, even though if that opportunity presented itself I certainly wouldn’t turn it down. I’m not here to try to force an obviously talented young man who is working his ass off and despite anything nice being said believes that there’s an opportunity for him to arrive at the forefront. All of that is well and good, but I want to pay back the faith that people like Indy Darling and Mark Hunter and the Project: Honor board had in me. I came back from injury and put on two of the most memorable Grand Championship matches of all time. I held it for just over a month, enough time at least to realize that the weight was a little too much for me to carry right now.
So, what should I do in the meantime? Well, MYO-san and I could always reform Platinum and Gold at some point. When Tara is ready, that's a match I definitely want. I want to fight Lil Petey before he retires. There’s a plethora of matches that I want, but for now, my focus will be taking care of business in this moment, show that even after being bloodied, battered and beaten, that I can still stand up and be the wrestler, the woman, the star that Proving Ground needs me to be. That I need to be for myself. I am ready to show that even though I don’t have the Grand Championship around my waist that I’m just as deadly as ever.
Boys, I hope you’re ready…because I am.
My ambitions never end, and by the end of the night you will all understand clearly where my newest ambitions lie. In that very ring.
Look at me. I’m pretty as hell in that picture right? This was during that small window of time where I was a double champion. Shogun Championship in one hand, Warrior Rising Championship in the other! Nobody could tell me a damn thing, man! But the time at the top was fleeting. In a little more than two weeks after becoming a double champion, the Shogun Championship was taken from me. I didn’t handle it very well.
Why not? Why didn’t I handle it well? There is no one particular answer to that. I like to think that it was a combination of things. I was still struggling with my commitment to wrestling. I trained hard, but I didn’t try to learn. There was no evolution to my game for a while. Then, I lost the Warrior Rising title as well, this person a hell of a lot prettier than the other two guys to beat me for belts. So. There I was. I was titleless, I was hurting, I was seriously thinking about just walking away from all of this. A lot of people who walk in these halls and into these locker rooms, this was the biggest thing in their lives. This was their dream. I can’t say that it was ever for me. The longer that I’ve remained in this sport, the longer that I’m starting to feel it consuming me.
Not consuming me just in the sense of a physical toll. Being in there with all these guys and girls means you’re putting your body through hell. I can’t tell you guys how many nights I’ve been in bed wishing for the pain to stop. Not that I’m any different from anyone else who puts on boots, of course. It’s part of the price we pay. But the thing that’s really getting to me is that I’m starting to truly care. I care about these titles. I care about these bigger matches more. I care about my reputation as a professional wrestler a little more. Does that mean I’m going to stop drinking and womanizing completely? No. But not as much. I went from railing against people who I thought conspired against me to helping people even when I had no reason to do otherwise. I went from a little brat to a maturing woman, someone who is capable of standing on her own even if I fall sometimes. I started to evolve, as a person, as a wrestler. Arata and plenty of other people think I changed my look to hide the pain that I was feeling when I lost a title for the first time. Nah. That was about building anew.
And we built pretty damn well, didn’t we? I never thought that being mired in the losing streak that I was, having the rough close of December that just after the new year opened up I would be sitting on top of the world. It may have shocked the world that I beat Arata to take the Grand Championship and get a taste of what holding it was like, but it didn’t quite shock me. I just never thought I would have a chance to face him so soon. What you saw in that victory was yours truly still evolving. Still reaching for new moves, for new horizons, new inspiration. All birthed out of growing love for what I do for a living.
But my growth didn’t just cease there. Arata doesn’t realize it, but he did indeed steer my career in a new direction but not necessarily in the way that he thinks. You see, Arata loves to paint himself as the shiny mentor, the guiding light of my career. From the first time I scouted one of his matches in Japan, I always looked at him as a rival, not as a friend and certainly not as a mentor. He is the one that spurs me on. Not because he’s Grand Champion. That’s not the point. The point is that he’s one of the few people that I have wrestled and instantly know that I’m going in at a disadvantage. Sabertooth had the toughness and rage that Havoc bestowed on him. Tara Fenix had guiled that belied her beauty. Arata has not just these kinds of attributes but when he’s at the top of his game he has no weaknesses. He’s technically sound, athletic, willing to brawl. His strength is underrated. In my opinion, he may be unbeatable when he’s at his best.
Unfortunately for me, he was at tThe Crowning. But you know what? This loss isn’t going to hinder me the same way that my first two did. I’ve learned what it means to grind to greatness now, but I’ve also learned that even that isn’t enough. I have to find that hidden final gear that people like those three seem to have in them. But, even if I stumble again, I’ve already made a promise to myself. No matter how battered my body gets, no matter how heartbreaking and frustrating the loss is, I will keep going. Why? Because I’ve already been to Rock Bottom. Why should I fear the grind back to the top?
My journey, just like my ambition…will never end.
Rio De Janeiro
Sena’s Preparations
Sena couldn’t help but notice a change in his mentor. She was obviously still a little annoyed and banged-up from her encounter with Arata and losing the Grand Championship but she carried on with helping him get ready for his grand official debut to the world: OWA’s Clash of the Titans. She had promised that she would come and she had, even if it was a massive inconvenience since she had other obligations she needed to attend to. She had grown fond of Sena, so much so that she actually started coaching him a little more than simply yelling and beating him (Also known as the Carlos Rosso method). Carlos had brought in several young toughs from the Rio streets to help Sena prepare for his entrance into the massive battle royal he was scheduled to compete in. Everything from jujitsu fighters, random street thugs, capoeira fighters, even a few Brazilian based wrestlers that Carlos was scouting to train in Baton Rouge. Sena had to try and work his way around every situation that the troop put them in, all while Emmanuelle tried to coach him up. After about forty-five minutes of grueling sparring, the young wrestler finally got his rest. Emmy hopped into the ring to speak to him and also make sure he wasn’t beaten up too bady.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah…..just a little tired.”
“Matches like this will do that to ya. I’ve been in a couple myself, so I get it. What you just went through was about as tough of a simulation as to what we could put you through without leaving you completely gassed for the match. There’s forty people in there and you may be out there even longer.”
Sena managed a sly little grin, despite his fatigue.
“Everyone won’t be trying to beat the shit out of me though, you know? I’m a small fry to a lot of those guys, I may be able to sneak in a few quick breaks because they’re hunting for the big dogs.”
Emmy smacked him upside the head with her fist in an obviously playful manner, somehow smiling yet remaining serious with her words.
“First, language! Second, you may get that luxury but it’s not guaranteed. A lot of guys will just hit anything that moves out there, young lion or not. Plus, after the way you sonned Arata’s little whipping boy I don’t think you’ll be able to play the shrinking violet.”
“You know why I say that though? You saw the things said on social media, at the press conferences. When I’m mentioned, none of them give a damn. Not even Theodor Pavel! They all see me as no threat.”
“Listen to me.”
Emmy took a deep breath. She and Sena really had two different tracks to wrestling. She was the woman who hated it but had a natural gift; he was a lifelong fan who wasn’t blessed with some of the physical attributes but worked hard with what he was given and made it work. Even so, he seemed to relate and respond to her more than Carlos’s drill sergeant mentality.
“When I first started wrestling in big companies, people knew who I was. Some of them were gunning for me not just because of who I was trained by but how I behaved as well. I can’t relate to your struggles, I’m not going to pretend to. People may not know you, not even respect you, but a match like this is an opportunity for you to be heard. You have a chance to shock the world. When I had my first title match. I was undefeated and still a heavy underdog. But I didn’t let what other people’s beliefs about me dictate MY belief, you understand? I believed in myself and got it done. Got it all the way done. You don’t have a title to fight for just yet, but you have a chance to make a lasting impression. All those people who think they’re gonna just walk over you? You have a chance to show them what you can do. So, take it from someone who knows a little about disrespect, use it as fuel, but don’t let yourself get down about it, understand?”
Sena nodded before starting to guzzle some water. Since this was their test run before the big match, there would be no more crazy workouts. Only stretching and light cardio to keep the Japanese-American loose. After delivering this little pep talk Emmy noticed their mentor beckoning for her to come speak.
“You’ve changed. A few weeks ago you were driving his ass even harder than I would have. Now you’re all of a sudden the sports psychiatrist and shit. What’s all that about?”
“What do you mean? I told him the truth!”
“I know. That’s why I’m surprised. Sena’s got a good head on his shoulders.He really does. He needs someone like you to guide him a little bit. Your paths to the top are different in every way possible, but I think you can help get him where he needs to go, know what I mean?”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you for taking him under your wing for me. I’m proud of you. Even when you lose, even when you’re hurting the way that I know you’re hurting right now- and don’t bullshit me that you’re still not pissed off about that match. You’re in pain. Every wrestler whose ever been worth a damn knows that pain. But even with all that, you travel thousands of miles from home to help this poor sap who has a snowball’s chance in hell of winning this thing. You’re a good mentor and a better friend than you realize.”
“...Thank you.”
“I heard through the grapevine that you’re going to wrestle Arata again. This time in a tag match?”
“Uh-huh. I’ll be ready.”
Trainer and student exchanged little knowing grins. Emmy was always one to be quiet about her preparations, but the look in her eyes even while she was grinning let Carlos know straight away that she would definitely be ready.
“Kick some ass then. Oh…one more thing…what’s this shit I heard about you having a little honey? And a fellow wrestler at that!?”
Carlos clicked his tongue and shook his head a bit as an obviously flustered Emmy looked at him. He tilted his head towards Sena, outing the snitch right away.
“Yeah….he told me that Tara chick is even cuter than her Twitter posts would have you believe. I’m actually impressed you were able to.-
“SEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”
And thus, Sena’s second, more impromptu workout began as Emmy started chasing him around the gym, avoiding her throwing things and shouting obscenities at an alarming rate.
What do the other three men in this match have in common? They’re all men who have beaten me in the past. I hear a lot of talk about how this match is so important, so prestigious, so filled with talent! Two former Grand Champions teaming together to face the current Champion and one of Proving Ground’s rising stars! But the problem with that narrative is that this match isn’t about Swindle trying to prove a point or Arata asserting himself or my tag partner proving that his apparent stewardship of the Legacy title is justified. This match is about one person and one person alone: Me.
Okay, okay. I get it, I know that sounds arrogant as hell, but think about it! Arata’s Grand Champion. He just beat me two out of three falls for the damn thing! Shelldrake’s been on a tear; my tag team partner may be one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. But look at this from my perspective. I have a chance to show that even though I lost the Grand Championship I still have plenty of fight to offer to anyone willing to step in the ring and fight me. I have a chance to reassert myself right back into the picture for the Grand Championship…
Which oddly enough…..I’m not sure I want at the moment.
Everyone has their reasons for wanting to show up for this match. Arata’s hell bent on just crushing everyone in front of him and I know from experience that he’s capable of that. Swindon is desperate for an opportunity. He’s been quietly building himself up, racking up wins, flying somehow juuuuuuuuust under the radar when it comes to challenging for some of the other titles. This is a guy who managed to put that big lug with the mask down at one time so I know he can fight.
I’m not here to try to just get revenge on Arata, even though if that opportunity presented itself I certainly wouldn’t turn it down. I’m not here to try to force an obviously talented young man who is working his ass off and despite anything nice being said believes that there’s an opportunity for him to arrive at the forefront. All of that is well and good, but I want to pay back the faith that people like Indy Darling and Mark Hunter and the Project: Honor board had in me. I came back from injury and put on two of the most memorable Grand Championship matches of all time. I held it for just over a month, enough time at least to realize that the weight was a little too much for me to carry right now.
So, what should I do in the meantime? Well, MYO-san and I could always reform Platinum and Gold at some point. When Tara is ready, that's a match I definitely want. I want to fight Lil Petey before he retires. There’s a plethora of matches that I want, but for now, my focus will be taking care of business in this moment, show that even after being bloodied, battered and beaten, that I can still stand up and be the wrestler, the woman, the star that Proving Ground needs me to be. That I need to be for myself. I am ready to show that even though I don’t have the Grand Championship around my waist that I’m just as deadly as ever.
Boys, I hope you’re ready…because I am.
My ambitions never end, and by the end of the night you will all understand clearly where my newest ambitions lie. In that very ring.