Post by Alyssa Grace on Mar 1, 2022 8:06:02 GMT -5
WHAT DO THEY KNOW?
Alyssa Grace vs Angelo Caito.
"I'M QUITE DEPRESSED, I'M QUITE A MESS.
BEAT ME UP, BEAT ME DOWN.
MESS ME UP BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION!
FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I'D DO IT AGAIN.
WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE,
I WILL DO IT AGAIN."
Alyssa smiled, carefully and graciously accepting the mocktail from the hands of her friend Juliana. Currently located in Brazil, everything about the atmosphere of the paradisiacal country was the complete and utter opposite of what Alyssa had become accustomed to over the past few months. This getaway was something she not only wanted, but desperately needed and she wouldn’t accept or even bother listening to anyone say otherwise. Yes, the reasons for her getaway were more business than pleasure and as excited as she was to perform in front of a new crowd, she had the time, the means and the desire to indulge in a handful of stereotypical tourist activities, spending the day on a sandy beach was one of them.
“Don’t mention it, a holiday is always better when it’s spent with a friend. God knows I’ve needed something like this.”
Juliana frowned at Alyssa’s wording but she did not speak as Alyssa had not noticed the expression on her face, she just sat down next to her, clinked her glass with Alyssa and sipped her drink. Whilst the scenery was beautiful, this was not a holiday by any means for either of them and Juliana was afraid that Alyssa was simply ignoring her ever growing issues. She might’ve lacked experience when it came to the wrestling world but she certainly had more negative real life experiences than Alyssa so calling her bluff would be easy. The two women had randomly met one day, Juliana was currently being trained by one of Alyssa’s closest friends and whilst she was yet to make her professional wrestling debut, Alyssa could see that if she put herself out there a little more, she certainly had a good future for herself.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” After a few moments of blissful silence, Juliana asked carefully, she had already bombarded Alyssa with that question roughly a thousand times but the redhead’s answers were not at all convincing, not once did Juliana have a good enough reason to believe Alyssa’s responses and Alyssa would just have to deal with her friends concern.
Alyssa remained quiet for a minute or two before taking her sunglasses off and turning slightly to look Juliana in the eye. Her nose had been absolutely shattered in the post match beatdown from Savannah and Savannah’s much more talented partner who, in Alyssa’s opinion did absolutely not deserve to be named, it was pretty much a miracle that she wouldn’t require surgery to fix the damage that had been done but the wounds hadn’t healed yet. On one side of her face, nasty yellow and purple bruising covered a large majority of her under eye and she had plenty of scratches on and around her nose itself. Sometimes it even hurt to breathe, Alyssa wasn’t used to taking it easy but right now she had no choice. She’d been fucked up and you could tell that she had been fucked up. It hurt too much to even put makeup on to try and conceal the wounds, so Alyssa was stuck having to cover her face with large, extravagant shades. She barely had the mental and physical strength to look herself in the eye right now so god forbid anyone else see her in this state.
“Do I look okay?”
“No.”
“There’s your answer.”
Juliana sighed, accepting temporary defeat and allowing Alyssa to get back to whatever it was she was doing, which was nothing but sunbathing and watching the sea glisten whilst trying to ignore the large crowd of people who also decided that today was the perfect day for a rendezvous. Alyssa knew that Juliana (and everyone else who had been pestering her about her wellbeing since The Crowning) had nothing but good intentions but truthfully, she just wanted some time to process everything and then let it go and let herself be. What was done was done and she didn’t see the point in thinking about it anymore. She couldn’t go back and change anything, even if she had done certain things differently, the end result would’ve been the same, everything would’ve been for nothing no matter what and now Alyssa had to find a way to be okay with that.
The Crowning was an event that didn’t go her way, losing the Ascension Championship mere seconds after capturing it had to be quite possibly the worst feeling she’d felt in a while. The title would have been the only thing that made the tenuous back and forths with Jason and Savannah worth it. In her own opinion, her stock had fallen enough recently and now she was reduced to quite literally nothing, Jason was gone, Savannah was still acting like she ruled the world, but the woman that sacrificed the most out of everyone, also suffered the most and it was sickening.
Alyssa was beginning to hate herself for everything she had done, she was deathly afraid of unnecessarily turning her back on all the things she had been taught to get ahead but her trust in herself and her capabilities was no longer bulletproof. Granted, it was still stronger than most but that didn’t stop Alyssa from feeling lost. Grasping reality was becoming more of a challenge than any match she had competed in and although it was not true, she was beginning to believe that she was on the verge of losing everything, her family, her friends, her career, her reputation and most importantly, her love for the game.
Now that she didn’t even have the one and only thing that made the months of hardship worthwhile, it was made worse.
There was no payoff, no redemption, no happy ending, there was nothing.
Nothing but the sun, the sea and the sand to take the blues away.
The following morning, Alyssa awoke earlier than planned. It did not take her long to accept that a lie in would be a luxury she would not have this morning so by seven thirty, she was fully dressed, seated in a restaurant of the hotel and as prepared for whatever nonsense the day had to throw at her as possible. Granted, her schedule was crystal clear until the late afternoon but it would most likely end up costing her if she wasn’t extra prepared. She didn’t flinch as someone took the seat before her, she knew it would be Jules.
Her suspicions were correct.
“You’re up early.” She noted, tucking in to her breakfast.
“So are you.”
“Wonderful observational skills.”
The duo smirked at one another before sharing a good natured laugh, Alyssa was feeling a little better today and although she hadn’t said it, she did feel a little bad about her attitude as of late. She hadn’t meant to be so snappy towards those who cared, she was lucky to have so many people who did care for her and everyone involved in her life knew that. Some things are just better left unspoken.
“Couldn’t sleep either?” Alyssa asked, beginning to eat her own breakfast.
Juliana shook her head.
“Nah, I went for a run at about six. Felt good to stretch my legs a bit.”
“Trying to one up me? I should’ve done the same but I woke up feeling too sore.”
Juliana raised an eyebrow at this comment and when Alyssa caught onto why, she pulled a face and rolled her eyes playfully, doing her best to not laugh. “I’m just playing!” Juliana held her hands up defensively. “Quick question, have you ever been to a rage room?”
It was now Alyssa’s turn to shake her head. “Can’t say I have, why’d you ask?” She had a strong feeling as to why she was being asked such a thing but it could have just been an innocent question.
“Well I was thinking, if you’re free today..”
Nevermind.
“If you’re not busy today, I was thinking we could check this local one out. I found it last night and you may hate me for it but I really do think it’ll help you work through the things you’re feeling right now. Consider it my treat.” Juliana pulled out her phone and began showing Alyssa the place in question, the redhead sighed but didn’t stop her friend, the least she could do was hear her out. Jules really did believe that it was just what Alyssa needed, she had tried just about everything else and that hadn’t worked so Juliana didn’t see any problem in at least trying to convince Alyssa to give this a shot. And in the worst case scenario, if the day out didn’t fix or at least help her with her issues, it was an excuse for them to break as much shit as possible, have fun doing so and not get in trouble for it.
Alyssa sighed.
“If I agree to this, will it get you off my back?”
Jules nodded and opened her mouth to speak but was cut off.
“I know you care and I appreciate that more than I can put into words considering we haven’t been friends for long. I don’t want you thinking that I’m not grateful for your help but there’s some things I just need to figure out and handle on my own and on my own terms.”
“Okay. That's fair. We’ll do this and even if it works, I promise I’ll reserve my help for when you ask for it, deal?”
Alyssa sighed, contemplating the offer for a second.
There was no other choice, was there?
“Deal.”
The two shook hands and finished their meals in comfortable silence, Alyssa internally pondering what she had begrudgingly signed herself up to.
About an hour and a half later, the two women found themselves stood in the middle of a simulated office, donning protective gear from their heads to their feet, baseball bats in hands.
“I am almost certain that this won’t fix anything.” Alyssa mumbled, adjusting her goggles and turning to face Juliana who looked a little too excited, she was barely able to stand still.
“It’ll be therapeutic in some way, I promise. Plus this was pricey and you didn’t pay a dime!”
“Sounds like you’ve got some experience with this concept.”
“Well.. not exactly legally.”
Alyssa raised an eyebrow at this comment but it went unnoticed. She glanced around the room, unsure how and where to even begin. Alyssa knew she was meant to break everything in her sight but how, exactly, she was supposed to go from 0 to 100 on the smashing scale in seconds was beyond her. After some deliberation, the women decided on playing a heavy metal playlist, hoping it would get Alyssa amped and swinging. She could see the smirk on Juliana’s lips and took a step back to allow her friend more space to demonstrate some good old fashioned violence against inanimate objects.
“Care to show me how it’s done?”
“With pleasure.” Swiftly and with a slightly alarming laugh, Juliana swung the bat in the direction of one of the makeshift computers, the impact of her hit smashed the monitor into hundreds of little pieces, but she wasn’t done there. Dropping the bat and picking up the keyboard, she smashed it against the wall, earning an impressed whistle from Alyssa who watched with her arms folded. “Just think of something that annoys you, pick a poor object and bam. It's that easy.”
Juliana could tell that Alyssa was struggling to get out of her own head, was she really supposed to just grab a baseball bat, a sledgehammer or crow bar and just go at it? Yes, she was.
“Look, there’s no right or wrong way to do this, let me give you some pointers.” Slowly, Alyssa moved towards one of the printers and stopped before it, as if she was eyeing it up. Juliana took a deep breath, trying to think of something that would irk Alyssa. “Imagine that printer is Billy's face.”
As soon as the sentence left Juliana’s lips, the printer was no more.
With an animalistic snarl, Alyssa hit the printer with as much force as she could muster. “Cunt.” She spat, her attention then became laser focused in on one of the crowbar’s available for use and without saying a word, she retrieved said weapon and smacked the remains of the printer to do more damage, the hit creating a loud thudding sound. “Who knew these machines had so much glass in them?” Her question was rhetorical and her breathing now heavier than before, Alyssa picked up a piece of glass, looked at it and then flicked it into the growing pile of debris.
“And who knew some Southern hobo had you so wound up? Nice job.” Alyssa cleared her throat but smiled at Juliana’s praise, trying to not interpret the comment as a snarky one.
“I’ve got every right to be mad at that piece of shit.” After letting out a hollow laugh, she approached an empty glass, picked it up and threw it to the floor, stomping on the larger pieces that didn’t immediately shatter. “She took everything away from me because her mutt, to the surprise of absolutely NOBODY IN THIS ENTIRE COMPANY, ONCE AGAIN couldn’t get the fucking job done herself. That braindead, self absorbed, flimsy excuse of a high school, no, not a short joke for once, mean girl cosplaying as a professional wrestler known as Savannah Andrews or what-fucking-ever was made the actual victim for the first time in her pitiful existence and realised that she didn’t actually enjoy playing that part so the actual threat of this weird homoerotic duo very coincidentally shows up when I’m at my weakest to finish the job Savannah didn’t even fucking start. For the life of me, I can’t tell you what it is about Savannah that has Billy so enthralled but she’s made it crystal clear that she’s got no standards and trash deserves to rot beside fellow trash I guess.”
Alyssa aimlessly and carelessly threw the crowbar into one of the corners, not caring who or what it collided with, she barely registered the clanging noise made. “That moment, as short lived as it ended up being, meant and still means the world to me.” She shook her head and grabbed a sledgehammer she noticed from the corner of her eyes, approaching a television in the room. “That moment, those minutes I got to hold that championship will never be taken away from me but it does not heal the pain I feel in my heart. Those fleeting seconds of satisfaction, that temporary feeling of redemption is not fucking enough for me. For MONTHS, I was subject to things no one should be subject to, for MONTHS I ran aimlessly in circles with Savannah and Jason, for MONTHS, I had my psyche ripped apart by the latter but not once did I give up or give in. During that entire bullshit, I gave the most than ANYONE of the three of us, for it was me who had to change her entire approach and ideals, all that I ever worked for put in the backburner to kill what many thought couldn’t be killed and now the entire world is beginning to see that I have fallen so far on this brand, lost in its depth chart and now I sit here with NOTHING TO SHOW FOR ALL THE SHIT THESE CUNTS HAVE PUT ME THROUGH.” Alyssa hit the television with little to no precision but plenty of force. She didn’t stop at one hit though, she just kept going and going. “I DID WHAT NO ONE ELSE COULD AND I PUT JASON LONG AWAY, I DID THAT, NOT SAVANNAH, NOT PERSEPHONE BANE, ME, ALYSSA GRACE DID THAT. I DID WHAT NO ONE APPARENTLY WANTED ME TO DO AND OUTFUCKING PERFORMED AND OUTCLASSED TWO OF “THE BEST” THIS COMPANY HAS TO OFFER AND I DID IT RELATIVELY QUICKLY TOO! FOR MONTHS THE PEOPLE HAVE TRIED TO DENY ME OR DIMINISH MY VALUE AND I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT BE CONSISTENT AND GIVE MY ALL, EVEN WHEN IT WASN’T DESERVED, EVEN WHEN I FELT LIKE I WAS AT MY LOWEST, I DID MY JOB BETTER THAN HALF OF THE DAMN ROSTER.”
Three more smashes.
A chuckle.
A swing of the hammer.
“I have every right to be angry and upset, I’m not in the mood to hear otherwise from anyone else. Don’t get me wrong, I can handle being cashed in on, it’s a part of this business and I’ve been the one holding the briefcase before but what I struggle accepting is where I am now because EVERYTHING I DID WAS FOR NOTHING. Nobody even knows how that makes me feel after all the hard work and the dedication with all the blood I have spilled but all I ever hear is, “Alyssa Grace is one of the best in the world”, THEN TREAT ME LIKE IT!”
A deep breath.
“No rematch.. no pat on the back.. not even a fucking thank you for ridding Fallout of the Jason Long plague, absolutely nothing. Sent straight to the bottom to face people like Angelo Caito just to be considered next in line for the title held by the next man to run straight through Savannah like she’s nothing. Yeah, I probably sound entitled and arrogant right now but I dare someone to look me in the eye and tell me I have no reason to feel this way. Billy gets to face Havoc and potentially unify what belongs to me with his title and it’s pathetic, utterly pathetic. Am I supposed to just be.. okay with that? Am I supposed to just accept this shit? Am I supposed to just move on and forget what happened? I feel like I’m being punished when I’ve done nothing but what has been asked of me!”
Alyssa finally came to a halt, looking at the damage she was responsible for. It was bad. But it made her feel good. It made her smile. It calmed her nerves, it was oddly therapeutic in the weirdest ways imaginable. As she tried to contain herself, Juliana was busy breaking items of her own, mumbling beneath her breath about those who had wronged her, Alyssa had become loud and a little scary so she’d decided to just leave her be, it was easy to detect that that’s what she needed, a space to vent about her troubles without being judged or facing trouble for it.
Alyssa jumped a little as she felt someone tap her shoulder, she had become so immersed in her own little angry universe that she had forgotten where she was, who she was with and what she was doing. Immediately, she dropped her defensive stance and managed to mirror the genuine smile on Juliana’s face.
“So?” Juliana asked, hopefulness laced in her tone.
Alyssa chuckled and carefully placed the hammer on the floor. Together the ladies had managed to successfully demolish a good portion of the room but there were still sections to be touched on.
“So.. I do feel a little better.” Alyssa admitted, it actually felt good to do so and although it wasn’t fun, she could admit to being wrong on the few occasions she wasn’t completely right. “Woah.. don’t get ahead of yourself!” She laughed as Juliana whooped and raised her fist in victory. “Things aren’t fixed and Billy and Savannah are still terrible people, and every joy they have in life, including each other needs to be taken immediately because it seems like the only joy they have is trying to make me miserable. So what do I do? Quit? Yeah, I'm sure that would make them and a bunch of hateful vindictive people just so happy. But I'm not going to do that, because I don't want to make them happy. So what I'm going to do is at least try and live my best life, so they can hate from the side-lines like always.. but.. it’s nice to just let everything out, y’know?”
Jules nodded. “I understand completely, that’s mainly why I suggested this. It’s not meant to be a solution, just a stepping stone to find the solution.” She headed over to the one thing in the room that was meant to remain untouched, a table with bottles of water on and weaponry surrounding it, she handed Alyssa one of the bottles. Alyssa momentarily removed her protective facial gear and took a large sip of the drink. “Hey..” Juliana began, careful with her wording. “Can I ask you something?”
Alyssa raised an eyebrow and nodded, she had a funny feeling in her stomach that warned her that she knew what question was about to come her way would be and she knew that answering said question wouldn’t be ideal, which explained why she briefly but very suddenly tensed up.
“You and Jason..”
Yup, there it was.
“No offense or anything but he saved your ass, we all saw it. What happened after?”
Alyssa swallowed the lump in her throat and let out a gentle sigh, an almost sad glimmer appearing in her eyes. It was true, without Jason taking them both away, god knows what would’ve happened to Alyssa, the only thing she was certain of was that if it wasn’t for him, she’d currently be in a much worse condition. Albeit it was for a fleeting moment of time, she knew the risks that came with accepting his help but she had no other choice.. plus the fact he even offered his support gave her the impression that a miniscule part of him still cared, he could’ve easily gotten himself to safety and left her to be mauled by the wolves.. but he didn’t.
“I’m afraid that’s a story for another day.” Alyssa’s tone was not harsh nor cold, it was rather flat and a little sad but it was serious enough for Jules to accept the no answer as an answer, even if she was massively curious. Alyssa wasn’t quite ready to relieve the aftermath of The Crowning yet, it would come to light eventually, but not right now. If she was going to bounce back from things, she had to look towards the future, she had to look towards ripping Angelo Calito to shreds.
“That’s alright.” Jules shrugged and glanced around the rage room, noticing that there was still quite a bit to get through. Sensing that the atmosphere was beginning to grow a little unpleasant and that the vibes were off, she put her protective gear back on, picked up the sledgehammer that Alyssa had discarded and offered her friend a wink and a light-hearted laugh with her following comment. “We’ve still got plenty of things to smash, plus it’s kinda my turn to loudly and proudly vent about my job. You in?”
“Fuck yeah I am.”
Later that evening, once she had gotten almost all of her rage out, parted ways with Juliana and participated in all the promotional media events that had been scheduled for her, Alyssa sat at a different restaurant the hotel she was staying in had to offer. A slightly fancier one that gave her a picturesque view of the beauty Brazil had to offer, she was dressed appropriately for the occasion, a navy maxi dress hugged her figure and she had decided to accessorize herself a little, flaunting a beautiful silver locket and earrings. There was no reason for her to do so but she had the sudden urge to dress up a little, she wanted to make the most of her experience before it was time to leave and why not take every opportunity to make yourself feel good?
She’d finished her meal not too long ago and she had yet to touch her dessert, Alyssa took a sip of her drink after swirling it around for a few moments, deciding that now was as good as ever to record something for Fallout. It might not have been on top of the list of things she wanted to do but no matter what, Alyssa was going to do her job and do it the only way she knew how to - the right way.
Alyssa nimbly set her phone up on the table, she was in a more reserved part of the establishment so she didn’t need to worry about distractions, the gentle atomopsherical noises provided by those in close enough proximity to her actually added to the scene, so she was happy.
“For the most part, I really do love my job. That shouldn’t be a surprise. After all, I get to work alongside the love of my life, I get to fight to the extent that I couldn’t in any other combat sport, and I get to make a living doing what I believe I was put on this earth to do. That, and much more, is what I enjoy about being a wrestler. However, nothing is perfect. And by extension of that policy, there’s of course, bound to be certain parts of this profession that I just can’t help but be frustrated by. Parts that I hate. You wanna know what they are? I hate the part where, in order to ‘promote’ a match, I’m forced to pretend that certain people are actually on my level, when they just aren’t. I hate how unfair this business can be to those who don’t deserve to be treated unfairly whilst simultaneously rewarding those who don’t deserve to be rewarded and before anyone attempts to twist my words or jump to conclusions that I haven’t made, please know that I’m not just talking about myself here. I am one woman, I can recognise that I am not powerful enough to change everything on my own, if I could, I would’ve done within two weeks of being on Fallout, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying to do any and everything in my vast amount of power to try and change some things.”
With a sigh, Alyssa leaned back in her chair a little.
“In the grand scheme of things, everything we all do in this industry is ephemeral. Nothing is going to last forever and one day we’re all going to be forgotten before we’ve even reduced to dust and bones. It’s a slightly depressing concept to even entertain but it’s inevitable for us all. It may sound nonsensical to a large majority of individuals but I like to use the fact that my time is slowly running out as motivation. Whilst death waits for us all, for some of us, it isn’t so patient. My lifestyle choices and ability to remain as healthy as I possibly can given my profession has hopefully delayed my departure from this planet for a while but it won’t be enough to delay it for as long as I’d possibly like it to. The chances of this business killing me are higher than I’d like to admit.”
The redhead smirked.
“But I don’t want anything else to kill me.”
“I don’t think any of you can fathom the frustrations I am feeling right now. When I walked into this company, I had so much promise and although it has been a struggle at times, I have always found a way to persevere. But now after losing more matches than I’d care to admit, I sit here in a void wondering how I can climb out of it. My heart, trust and body has been broken by those who I once considered family.”
“But my soul and spirit live on.”
“Which is bad news for you, Angelo.”
Alyssa chuckled and ran a hand through her straightened hair, thinking back to the first and currently only time she got to share the ring with Angelo.
“It’s safe to say that your opinions on me have not changed since the last time you and I met, you still do not like me and I still do not care. I do not care about you, your feeble accomplishments, your shitshow of a past, your desperate attempts to be taken as a seriously big and bad monster, I do not care about anything that involves you. Not in the slightest. Nor do I fear you. I do not believe you pose as a danger more intense than anyone on this roster and no amount of machetes you wield will be able to change my opinion. That, along with your fate, is already set in stone.”
“You are not worth fearing, to fear is only to handcuff yourself. To fear is to only keep yourself remaining beneath someone, beneath something for purely emotional reasons, not because of some apparent devastating reality of facing them or it. To fear is merely to give up living all together and just exist; existence just isn’t good enough. Fortune favors the brave after all and they don’t come any more brave than I. Not with all I’ve endured to reach this point. The sacrifices made, the humiliation subjected to and the horrific pain endured. All of it would have been for nothing, all the determination to reach this point would have been in vain. Nothing is worth fearing, nothing is worth being in fear of when the last five months have been a brutal slog of highs and lows. I can’t imagine falling. I can’t imagine stumbling despite coming so far. Against all odds, against all obstacles, against all adversity. I’ve scratched and I’ve clawed and I’ve fought tooth and nail to get to this place, where I stand just moments away from running through an “obstacle” that stands in the way of me doing something to redeem the loss I recently suffered. This may not be ideal, I may not want to be here but I know that I’m here for a reason, it’s up to me to find that reason and the only way I can do that is by ripping you limb from limb and sending a message to that oaf who holds what I believe is called, Playhouse Championship.”
“And let’s face it, what is there left to lose? The worst case scenario is that I’m defeated and have to stick to the same path that others have walked before me; the slow pace of hitting certain milestones, certain achievements, getting increasingly more celebratory victories and perhaps a mid-card Championship along the way. It sucks, I’m inpatient as fuck and already vastly outclass all those I would come across but alas, there are worse fates than that. And at the other end of the spectrum, the outcome that I desire. To be back on track, again. The accelerated pathway towards the top becomes the new path that I carve out. And in between, the nuances of victory and defeat, regardless of what may or may not happen, ultimately only serves me. There’s nothing to lose. I’m unlike so many who have come before me.”
“Angelo, I hope you know that this is nothing personal. This is about being the best I can be. This isn’t about me finding validation in who I am, how I conduct myself, how I portray myself, how I interact with and fucking piss others off. This isn’t seeking validation for anything other than being the best fucking talent in this world. Being more than just an act, being more than just a pretty fucking face going around and being a cunt to others, but the validation of being able to do ALL OF IT AND STILL…AND FUCKING STILL HAVE THE FUCKING EXPERTISE TO WIPE THE FUCKING FLOOR WITH ANYONE.”
Remembering exactly where she very publicly was, Alyssa cleared her throat and did her best to quickly and discreetly calm herself down. There was no need for outbursts or tantrums, not when she knew the things she did.
“Forgive me for getting so.. emotional, it’s been a rough few weeks. I understand that Angelo believes he is a sick and twisted individual, he may even go far enough to label himself as psychotic and it wouldn’t be the most inaccurate description of his.. haywire personality so I invite him to lock me away in whatever fantasy world he chooses in order to make him feel better about his chances. I hope Angelo has fun creating an environment filled to the max with sadistic fantasies, with perfect and beneficial opportunities. Lopsided, unbalanced, biased, whatever it is that makes Angelo, Angelo, whatever it is that makes him feel more comfortable, feel as though he has an advantage won’t matter in the end. He’s still trapped with me.”
“There’s nothing Angelo is capable of doing to halt my ascension. Not as a wrestler, not as a sick fuck. There’s simply no stopping me from shattering all expectations to reach the top. There’s no more stewing in mediocrity, directionless, thoughtless, I’ve been there and I’ve done that. From now on there will be absolutely NO acceptance of less than I deserve for other people’s sake; I am planning to take and take and take and take regardless of the consequences for myself and others. It’s certainly in Angelo’s best interest to stay away from me and accept a lesser place, but he’s fucking stupid so I won’t waste my breath trying to help him out, at the end of the day, he doesn’t have it in him to extinguish my flame.”
Alyssa paused to finish her drink, placing the champagne glass (that was filled with a non alcoholic beverage by the way) down with a degree of authority, her tone shifting a little.
“Let me talk to Angelo directly for a minute, the fuck kind of chance do you have to stop someone who trumps you in every possible way? What kind of chance do you have to stop someone who knows how to navigate their way to the very fucking top on their own merit like me? You can’t. Maybe you can beat up a few others who have already shown their limitations, go through that tired recycled storyline of being challenged; maybe inflate those numbers so next time someone like me comes around and gets into a match with you that you know you can’t win, you might have some fresh material, ya know? I plan to savor every little bit of this until it runs dry. I’m not here to tread lightly, as if I’m walking across a minefield; I’ll gleefully run straight across it knowing there’s nothing beneath my feet. I’m not going to be respectful or kind or appreciative of the fact that I have such a grand match before me, the luxurious opportunity to challenge for a championship just after losing one. I’m already here. I’m already at this point. I’m already reaching the heights so few can ever say they scaled.”
“Nothing is going to deter me.”
“Not fear, not intimidation of you or the environment I’m about to walk into.”
“The threats of being ruthless, the desire to victimize are generic and I certainly hope I get more than the familiar spin of how Angelo believes he sits on top of everyone, how he’s placed in an untouchable space because he feels comfortable enough to threaten the fools who once associated themselves with him. We can, by all means, play this same song and dance that you’re accustomed to playing but I will be just one step ahead each time.”
“You’re too slow to keep up with me.”
“I’m going to have my cake and I’m going to eat it too. It all begins with you.”
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRASIL.
Alyssa sat on the beach, her eyes moving from sand to stone, from rock pools to breaking waves. In the gentle winter sunshine she felt as if she were swimming in the briny aroma, as if the new rays of the day brought a frisson of energy to her finger tips. It was a day for letting her eyes stay open, as if she were an old fashioned camera, remaining still while the image developed. The gulls brought their high notes to the percussion of pebbles at the shoreline. It was a day for dreaming, for allowing time to move fast and slow.
“I know I’ve said it before, but thank you for letting me tag along. It’s been a great week so far.”
“I know I’ve said it before, but thank you for letting me tag along. It’s been a great week so far.”
Alyssa smiled, carefully and graciously accepting the mocktail from the hands of her friend Juliana. Currently located in Brazil, everything about the atmosphere of the paradisiacal country was the complete and utter opposite of what Alyssa had become accustomed to over the past few months. This getaway was something she not only wanted, but desperately needed and she wouldn’t accept or even bother listening to anyone say otherwise. Yes, the reasons for her getaway were more business than pleasure and as excited as she was to perform in front of a new crowd, she had the time, the means and the desire to indulge in a handful of stereotypical tourist activities, spending the day on a sandy beach was one of them.
“Don’t mention it, a holiday is always better when it’s spent with a friend. God knows I’ve needed something like this.”
Juliana frowned at Alyssa’s wording but she did not speak as Alyssa had not noticed the expression on her face, she just sat down next to her, clinked her glass with Alyssa and sipped her drink. Whilst the scenery was beautiful, this was not a holiday by any means for either of them and Juliana was afraid that Alyssa was simply ignoring her ever growing issues. She might’ve lacked experience when it came to the wrestling world but she certainly had more negative real life experiences than Alyssa so calling her bluff would be easy. The two women had randomly met one day, Juliana was currently being trained by one of Alyssa’s closest friends and whilst she was yet to make her professional wrestling debut, Alyssa could see that if she put herself out there a little more, she certainly had a good future for herself.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” After a few moments of blissful silence, Juliana asked carefully, she had already bombarded Alyssa with that question roughly a thousand times but the redhead’s answers were not at all convincing, not once did Juliana have a good enough reason to believe Alyssa’s responses and Alyssa would just have to deal with her friends concern.
Alyssa remained quiet for a minute or two before taking her sunglasses off and turning slightly to look Juliana in the eye. Her nose had been absolutely shattered in the post match beatdown from Savannah and Savannah’s much more talented partner who, in Alyssa’s opinion did absolutely not deserve to be named, it was pretty much a miracle that she wouldn’t require surgery to fix the damage that had been done but the wounds hadn’t healed yet. On one side of her face, nasty yellow and purple bruising covered a large majority of her under eye and she had plenty of scratches on and around her nose itself. Sometimes it even hurt to breathe, Alyssa wasn’t used to taking it easy but right now she had no choice. She’d been fucked up and you could tell that she had been fucked up. It hurt too much to even put makeup on to try and conceal the wounds, so Alyssa was stuck having to cover her face with large, extravagant shades. She barely had the mental and physical strength to look herself in the eye right now so god forbid anyone else see her in this state.
“Do I look okay?”
“No.”
“There’s your answer.”
Juliana sighed, accepting temporary defeat and allowing Alyssa to get back to whatever it was she was doing, which was nothing but sunbathing and watching the sea glisten whilst trying to ignore the large crowd of people who also decided that today was the perfect day for a rendezvous. Alyssa knew that Juliana (and everyone else who had been pestering her about her wellbeing since The Crowning) had nothing but good intentions but truthfully, she just wanted some time to process everything and then let it go and let herself be. What was done was done and she didn’t see the point in thinking about it anymore. She couldn’t go back and change anything, even if she had done certain things differently, the end result would’ve been the same, everything would’ve been for nothing no matter what and now Alyssa had to find a way to be okay with that.
The Crowning was an event that didn’t go her way, losing the Ascension Championship mere seconds after capturing it had to be quite possibly the worst feeling she’d felt in a while. The title would have been the only thing that made the tenuous back and forths with Jason and Savannah worth it. In her own opinion, her stock had fallen enough recently and now she was reduced to quite literally nothing, Jason was gone, Savannah was still acting like she ruled the world, but the woman that sacrificed the most out of everyone, also suffered the most and it was sickening.
Alyssa was beginning to hate herself for everything she had done, she was deathly afraid of unnecessarily turning her back on all the things she had been taught to get ahead but her trust in herself and her capabilities was no longer bulletproof. Granted, it was still stronger than most but that didn’t stop Alyssa from feeling lost. Grasping reality was becoming more of a challenge than any match she had competed in and although it was not true, she was beginning to believe that she was on the verge of losing everything, her family, her friends, her career, her reputation and most importantly, her love for the game.
Now that she didn’t even have the one and only thing that made the months of hardship worthwhile, it was made worse.
There was no payoff, no redemption, no happy ending, there was nothing.
Nothing but the sun, the sea and the sand to take the blues away.
The following morning, Alyssa awoke earlier than planned. It did not take her long to accept that a lie in would be a luxury she would not have this morning so by seven thirty, she was fully dressed, seated in a restaurant of the hotel and as prepared for whatever nonsense the day had to throw at her as possible. Granted, her schedule was crystal clear until the late afternoon but it would most likely end up costing her if she wasn’t extra prepared. She didn’t flinch as someone took the seat before her, she knew it would be Jules.
Her suspicions were correct.
“You’re up early.” She noted, tucking in to her breakfast.
“So are you.”
“Wonderful observational skills.”
The duo smirked at one another before sharing a good natured laugh, Alyssa was feeling a little better today and although she hadn’t said it, she did feel a little bad about her attitude as of late. She hadn’t meant to be so snappy towards those who cared, she was lucky to have so many people who did care for her and everyone involved in her life knew that. Some things are just better left unspoken.
“Couldn’t sleep either?” Alyssa asked, beginning to eat her own breakfast.
Juliana shook her head.
“Nah, I went for a run at about six. Felt good to stretch my legs a bit.”
“Trying to one up me? I should’ve done the same but I woke up feeling too sore.”
Juliana raised an eyebrow at this comment and when Alyssa caught onto why, she pulled a face and rolled her eyes playfully, doing her best to not laugh. “I’m just playing!” Juliana held her hands up defensively. “Quick question, have you ever been to a rage room?”
It was now Alyssa’s turn to shake her head. “Can’t say I have, why’d you ask?” She had a strong feeling as to why she was being asked such a thing but it could have just been an innocent question.
“Well I was thinking, if you’re free today..”
Nevermind.
“If you’re not busy today, I was thinking we could check this local one out. I found it last night and you may hate me for it but I really do think it’ll help you work through the things you’re feeling right now. Consider it my treat.” Juliana pulled out her phone and began showing Alyssa the place in question, the redhead sighed but didn’t stop her friend, the least she could do was hear her out. Jules really did believe that it was just what Alyssa needed, she had tried just about everything else and that hadn’t worked so Juliana didn’t see any problem in at least trying to convince Alyssa to give this a shot. And in the worst case scenario, if the day out didn’t fix or at least help her with her issues, it was an excuse for them to break as much shit as possible, have fun doing so and not get in trouble for it.
Alyssa sighed.
“If I agree to this, will it get you off my back?”
Jules nodded and opened her mouth to speak but was cut off.
“I know you care and I appreciate that more than I can put into words considering we haven’t been friends for long. I don’t want you thinking that I’m not grateful for your help but there’s some things I just need to figure out and handle on my own and on my own terms.”
“Okay. That's fair. We’ll do this and even if it works, I promise I’ll reserve my help for when you ask for it, deal?”
Alyssa sighed, contemplating the offer for a second.
There was no other choice, was there?
“Deal.”
The two shook hands and finished their meals in comfortable silence, Alyssa internally pondering what she had begrudgingly signed herself up to.
About an hour and a half later, the two women found themselves stood in the middle of a simulated office, donning protective gear from their heads to their feet, baseball bats in hands.
“I am almost certain that this won’t fix anything.” Alyssa mumbled, adjusting her goggles and turning to face Juliana who looked a little too excited, she was barely able to stand still.
“It’ll be therapeutic in some way, I promise. Plus this was pricey and you didn’t pay a dime!”
“Sounds like you’ve got some experience with this concept.”
“Well.. not exactly legally.”
Alyssa raised an eyebrow at this comment but it went unnoticed. She glanced around the room, unsure how and where to even begin. Alyssa knew she was meant to break everything in her sight but how, exactly, she was supposed to go from 0 to 100 on the smashing scale in seconds was beyond her. After some deliberation, the women decided on playing a heavy metal playlist, hoping it would get Alyssa amped and swinging. She could see the smirk on Juliana’s lips and took a step back to allow her friend more space to demonstrate some good old fashioned violence against inanimate objects.
“Care to show me how it’s done?”
“With pleasure.” Swiftly and with a slightly alarming laugh, Juliana swung the bat in the direction of one of the makeshift computers, the impact of her hit smashed the monitor into hundreds of little pieces, but she wasn’t done there. Dropping the bat and picking up the keyboard, she smashed it against the wall, earning an impressed whistle from Alyssa who watched with her arms folded. “Just think of something that annoys you, pick a poor object and bam. It's that easy.”
Juliana could tell that Alyssa was struggling to get out of her own head, was she really supposed to just grab a baseball bat, a sledgehammer or crow bar and just go at it? Yes, she was.
“Look, there’s no right or wrong way to do this, let me give you some pointers.” Slowly, Alyssa moved towards one of the printers and stopped before it, as if she was eyeing it up. Juliana took a deep breath, trying to think of something that would irk Alyssa. “Imagine that printer is Billy's face.”
As soon as the sentence left Juliana’s lips, the printer was no more.
With an animalistic snarl, Alyssa hit the printer with as much force as she could muster. “Cunt.” She spat, her attention then became laser focused in on one of the crowbar’s available for use and without saying a word, she retrieved said weapon and smacked the remains of the printer to do more damage, the hit creating a loud thudding sound. “Who knew these machines had so much glass in them?” Her question was rhetorical and her breathing now heavier than before, Alyssa picked up a piece of glass, looked at it and then flicked it into the growing pile of debris.
“And who knew some Southern hobo had you so wound up? Nice job.” Alyssa cleared her throat but smiled at Juliana’s praise, trying to not interpret the comment as a snarky one.
“I’ve got every right to be mad at that piece of shit.” After letting out a hollow laugh, she approached an empty glass, picked it up and threw it to the floor, stomping on the larger pieces that didn’t immediately shatter. “She took everything away from me because her mutt, to the surprise of absolutely NOBODY IN THIS ENTIRE COMPANY, ONCE AGAIN couldn’t get the fucking job done herself. That braindead, self absorbed, flimsy excuse of a high school, no, not a short joke for once, mean girl cosplaying as a professional wrestler known as Savannah Andrews or what-fucking-ever was made the actual victim for the first time in her pitiful existence and realised that she didn’t actually enjoy playing that part so the actual threat of this weird homoerotic duo very coincidentally shows up when I’m at my weakest to finish the job Savannah didn’t even fucking start. For the life of me, I can’t tell you what it is about Savannah that has Billy so enthralled but she’s made it crystal clear that she’s got no standards and trash deserves to rot beside fellow trash I guess.”
Alyssa aimlessly and carelessly threw the crowbar into one of the corners, not caring who or what it collided with, she barely registered the clanging noise made. “That moment, as short lived as it ended up being, meant and still means the world to me.” She shook her head and grabbed a sledgehammer she noticed from the corner of her eyes, approaching a television in the room. “That moment, those minutes I got to hold that championship will never be taken away from me but it does not heal the pain I feel in my heart. Those fleeting seconds of satisfaction, that temporary feeling of redemption is not fucking enough for me. For MONTHS, I was subject to things no one should be subject to, for MONTHS I ran aimlessly in circles with Savannah and Jason, for MONTHS, I had my psyche ripped apart by the latter but not once did I give up or give in. During that entire bullshit, I gave the most than ANYONE of the three of us, for it was me who had to change her entire approach and ideals, all that I ever worked for put in the backburner to kill what many thought couldn’t be killed and now the entire world is beginning to see that I have fallen so far on this brand, lost in its depth chart and now I sit here with NOTHING TO SHOW FOR ALL THE SHIT THESE CUNTS HAVE PUT ME THROUGH.” Alyssa hit the television with little to no precision but plenty of force. She didn’t stop at one hit though, she just kept going and going. “I DID WHAT NO ONE ELSE COULD AND I PUT JASON LONG AWAY, I DID THAT, NOT SAVANNAH, NOT PERSEPHONE BANE, ME, ALYSSA GRACE DID THAT. I DID WHAT NO ONE APPARENTLY WANTED ME TO DO AND OUTFUCKING PERFORMED AND OUTCLASSED TWO OF “THE BEST” THIS COMPANY HAS TO OFFER AND I DID IT RELATIVELY QUICKLY TOO! FOR MONTHS THE PEOPLE HAVE TRIED TO DENY ME OR DIMINISH MY VALUE AND I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT BE CONSISTENT AND GIVE MY ALL, EVEN WHEN IT WASN’T DESERVED, EVEN WHEN I FELT LIKE I WAS AT MY LOWEST, I DID MY JOB BETTER THAN HALF OF THE DAMN ROSTER.”
Three more smashes.
A chuckle.
A swing of the hammer.
“I have every right to be angry and upset, I’m not in the mood to hear otherwise from anyone else. Don’t get me wrong, I can handle being cashed in on, it’s a part of this business and I’ve been the one holding the briefcase before but what I struggle accepting is where I am now because EVERYTHING I DID WAS FOR NOTHING. Nobody even knows how that makes me feel after all the hard work and the dedication with all the blood I have spilled but all I ever hear is, “Alyssa Grace is one of the best in the world”, THEN TREAT ME LIKE IT!”
A deep breath.
“No rematch.. no pat on the back.. not even a fucking thank you for ridding Fallout of the Jason Long plague, absolutely nothing. Sent straight to the bottom to face people like Angelo Caito just to be considered next in line for the title held by the next man to run straight through Savannah like she’s nothing. Yeah, I probably sound entitled and arrogant right now but I dare someone to look me in the eye and tell me I have no reason to feel this way. Billy gets to face Havoc and potentially unify what belongs to me with his title and it’s pathetic, utterly pathetic. Am I supposed to just be.. okay with that? Am I supposed to just accept this shit? Am I supposed to just move on and forget what happened? I feel like I’m being punished when I’ve done nothing but what has been asked of me!”
Alyssa finally came to a halt, looking at the damage she was responsible for. It was bad. But it made her feel good. It made her smile. It calmed her nerves, it was oddly therapeutic in the weirdest ways imaginable. As she tried to contain herself, Juliana was busy breaking items of her own, mumbling beneath her breath about those who had wronged her, Alyssa had become loud and a little scary so she’d decided to just leave her be, it was easy to detect that that’s what she needed, a space to vent about her troubles without being judged or facing trouble for it.
Alyssa jumped a little as she felt someone tap her shoulder, she had become so immersed in her own little angry universe that she had forgotten where she was, who she was with and what she was doing. Immediately, she dropped her defensive stance and managed to mirror the genuine smile on Juliana’s face.
“So?” Juliana asked, hopefulness laced in her tone.
Alyssa chuckled and carefully placed the hammer on the floor. Together the ladies had managed to successfully demolish a good portion of the room but there were still sections to be touched on.
“So.. I do feel a little better.” Alyssa admitted, it actually felt good to do so and although it wasn’t fun, she could admit to being wrong on the few occasions she wasn’t completely right. “Woah.. don’t get ahead of yourself!” She laughed as Juliana whooped and raised her fist in victory. “Things aren’t fixed and Billy and Savannah are still terrible people, and every joy they have in life, including each other needs to be taken immediately because it seems like the only joy they have is trying to make me miserable. So what do I do? Quit? Yeah, I'm sure that would make them and a bunch of hateful vindictive people just so happy. But I'm not going to do that, because I don't want to make them happy. So what I'm going to do is at least try and live my best life, so they can hate from the side-lines like always.. but.. it’s nice to just let everything out, y’know?”
Jules nodded. “I understand completely, that’s mainly why I suggested this. It’s not meant to be a solution, just a stepping stone to find the solution.” She headed over to the one thing in the room that was meant to remain untouched, a table with bottles of water on and weaponry surrounding it, she handed Alyssa one of the bottles. Alyssa momentarily removed her protective facial gear and took a large sip of the drink. “Hey..” Juliana began, careful with her wording. “Can I ask you something?”
Alyssa raised an eyebrow and nodded, she had a funny feeling in her stomach that warned her that she knew what question was about to come her way would be and she knew that answering said question wouldn’t be ideal, which explained why she briefly but very suddenly tensed up.
“You and Jason..”
Yup, there it was.
“No offense or anything but he saved your ass, we all saw it. What happened after?”
Alyssa swallowed the lump in her throat and let out a gentle sigh, an almost sad glimmer appearing in her eyes. It was true, without Jason taking them both away, god knows what would’ve happened to Alyssa, the only thing she was certain of was that if it wasn’t for him, she’d currently be in a much worse condition. Albeit it was for a fleeting moment of time, she knew the risks that came with accepting his help but she had no other choice.. plus the fact he even offered his support gave her the impression that a miniscule part of him still cared, he could’ve easily gotten himself to safety and left her to be mauled by the wolves.. but he didn’t.
“I’m afraid that’s a story for another day.” Alyssa’s tone was not harsh nor cold, it was rather flat and a little sad but it was serious enough for Jules to accept the no answer as an answer, even if she was massively curious. Alyssa wasn’t quite ready to relieve the aftermath of The Crowning yet, it would come to light eventually, but not right now. If she was going to bounce back from things, she had to look towards the future, she had to look towards ripping Angelo Calito to shreds.
“That’s alright.” Jules shrugged and glanced around the rage room, noticing that there was still quite a bit to get through. Sensing that the atmosphere was beginning to grow a little unpleasant and that the vibes were off, she put her protective gear back on, picked up the sledgehammer that Alyssa had discarded and offered her friend a wink and a light-hearted laugh with her following comment. “We’ve still got plenty of things to smash, plus it’s kinda my turn to loudly and proudly vent about my job. You in?”
“Fuck yeah I am.”
Later that evening, once she had gotten almost all of her rage out, parted ways with Juliana and participated in all the promotional media events that had been scheduled for her, Alyssa sat at a different restaurant the hotel she was staying in had to offer. A slightly fancier one that gave her a picturesque view of the beauty Brazil had to offer, she was dressed appropriately for the occasion, a navy maxi dress hugged her figure and she had decided to accessorize herself a little, flaunting a beautiful silver locket and earrings. There was no reason for her to do so but she had the sudden urge to dress up a little, she wanted to make the most of her experience before it was time to leave and why not take every opportunity to make yourself feel good?
She’d finished her meal not too long ago and she had yet to touch her dessert, Alyssa took a sip of her drink after swirling it around for a few moments, deciding that now was as good as ever to record something for Fallout. It might not have been on top of the list of things she wanted to do but no matter what, Alyssa was going to do her job and do it the only way she knew how to - the right way.
Alyssa nimbly set her phone up on the table, she was in a more reserved part of the establishment so she didn’t need to worry about distractions, the gentle atomopsherical noises provided by those in close enough proximity to her actually added to the scene, so she was happy.
“For the most part, I really do love my job. That shouldn’t be a surprise. After all, I get to work alongside the love of my life, I get to fight to the extent that I couldn’t in any other combat sport, and I get to make a living doing what I believe I was put on this earth to do. That, and much more, is what I enjoy about being a wrestler. However, nothing is perfect. And by extension of that policy, there’s of course, bound to be certain parts of this profession that I just can’t help but be frustrated by. Parts that I hate. You wanna know what they are? I hate the part where, in order to ‘promote’ a match, I’m forced to pretend that certain people are actually on my level, when they just aren’t. I hate how unfair this business can be to those who don’t deserve to be treated unfairly whilst simultaneously rewarding those who don’t deserve to be rewarded and before anyone attempts to twist my words or jump to conclusions that I haven’t made, please know that I’m not just talking about myself here. I am one woman, I can recognise that I am not powerful enough to change everything on my own, if I could, I would’ve done within two weeks of being on Fallout, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying to do any and everything in my vast amount of power to try and change some things.”
With a sigh, Alyssa leaned back in her chair a little.
“In the grand scheme of things, everything we all do in this industry is ephemeral. Nothing is going to last forever and one day we’re all going to be forgotten before we’ve even reduced to dust and bones. It’s a slightly depressing concept to even entertain but it’s inevitable for us all. It may sound nonsensical to a large majority of individuals but I like to use the fact that my time is slowly running out as motivation. Whilst death waits for us all, for some of us, it isn’t so patient. My lifestyle choices and ability to remain as healthy as I possibly can given my profession has hopefully delayed my departure from this planet for a while but it won’t be enough to delay it for as long as I’d possibly like it to. The chances of this business killing me are higher than I’d like to admit.”
The redhead smirked.
“But I don’t want anything else to kill me.”
“I don’t think any of you can fathom the frustrations I am feeling right now. When I walked into this company, I had so much promise and although it has been a struggle at times, I have always found a way to persevere. But now after losing more matches than I’d care to admit, I sit here in a void wondering how I can climb out of it. My heart, trust and body has been broken by those who I once considered family.”
“But my soul and spirit live on.”
“Which is bad news for you, Angelo.”
Alyssa chuckled and ran a hand through her straightened hair, thinking back to the first and currently only time she got to share the ring with Angelo.
“It’s safe to say that your opinions on me have not changed since the last time you and I met, you still do not like me and I still do not care. I do not care about you, your feeble accomplishments, your shitshow of a past, your desperate attempts to be taken as a seriously big and bad monster, I do not care about anything that involves you. Not in the slightest. Nor do I fear you. I do not believe you pose as a danger more intense than anyone on this roster and no amount of machetes you wield will be able to change my opinion. That, along with your fate, is already set in stone.”
“You are not worth fearing, to fear is only to handcuff yourself. To fear is to only keep yourself remaining beneath someone, beneath something for purely emotional reasons, not because of some apparent devastating reality of facing them or it. To fear is merely to give up living all together and just exist; existence just isn’t good enough. Fortune favors the brave after all and they don’t come any more brave than I. Not with all I’ve endured to reach this point. The sacrifices made, the humiliation subjected to and the horrific pain endured. All of it would have been for nothing, all the determination to reach this point would have been in vain. Nothing is worth fearing, nothing is worth being in fear of when the last five months have been a brutal slog of highs and lows. I can’t imagine falling. I can’t imagine stumbling despite coming so far. Against all odds, against all obstacles, against all adversity. I’ve scratched and I’ve clawed and I’ve fought tooth and nail to get to this place, where I stand just moments away from running through an “obstacle” that stands in the way of me doing something to redeem the loss I recently suffered. This may not be ideal, I may not want to be here but I know that I’m here for a reason, it’s up to me to find that reason and the only way I can do that is by ripping you limb from limb and sending a message to that oaf who holds what I believe is called, Playhouse Championship.”
“And let’s face it, what is there left to lose? The worst case scenario is that I’m defeated and have to stick to the same path that others have walked before me; the slow pace of hitting certain milestones, certain achievements, getting increasingly more celebratory victories and perhaps a mid-card Championship along the way. It sucks, I’m inpatient as fuck and already vastly outclass all those I would come across but alas, there are worse fates than that. And at the other end of the spectrum, the outcome that I desire. To be back on track, again. The accelerated pathway towards the top becomes the new path that I carve out. And in between, the nuances of victory and defeat, regardless of what may or may not happen, ultimately only serves me. There’s nothing to lose. I’m unlike so many who have come before me.”
“Angelo, I hope you know that this is nothing personal. This is about being the best I can be. This isn’t about me finding validation in who I am, how I conduct myself, how I portray myself, how I interact with and fucking piss others off. This isn’t seeking validation for anything other than being the best fucking talent in this world. Being more than just an act, being more than just a pretty fucking face going around and being a cunt to others, but the validation of being able to do ALL OF IT AND STILL…AND FUCKING STILL HAVE THE FUCKING EXPERTISE TO WIPE THE FUCKING FLOOR WITH ANYONE.”
Remembering exactly where she very publicly was, Alyssa cleared her throat and did her best to quickly and discreetly calm herself down. There was no need for outbursts or tantrums, not when she knew the things she did.
“Forgive me for getting so.. emotional, it’s been a rough few weeks. I understand that Angelo believes he is a sick and twisted individual, he may even go far enough to label himself as psychotic and it wouldn’t be the most inaccurate description of his.. haywire personality so I invite him to lock me away in whatever fantasy world he chooses in order to make him feel better about his chances. I hope Angelo has fun creating an environment filled to the max with sadistic fantasies, with perfect and beneficial opportunities. Lopsided, unbalanced, biased, whatever it is that makes Angelo, Angelo, whatever it is that makes him feel more comfortable, feel as though he has an advantage won’t matter in the end. He’s still trapped with me.”
“There’s nothing Angelo is capable of doing to halt my ascension. Not as a wrestler, not as a sick fuck. There’s simply no stopping me from shattering all expectations to reach the top. There’s no more stewing in mediocrity, directionless, thoughtless, I’ve been there and I’ve done that. From now on there will be absolutely NO acceptance of less than I deserve for other people’s sake; I am planning to take and take and take and take regardless of the consequences for myself and others. It’s certainly in Angelo’s best interest to stay away from me and accept a lesser place, but he’s fucking stupid so I won’t waste my breath trying to help him out, at the end of the day, he doesn’t have it in him to extinguish my flame.”
Alyssa paused to finish her drink, placing the champagne glass (that was filled with a non alcoholic beverage by the way) down with a degree of authority, her tone shifting a little.
“Let me talk to Angelo directly for a minute, the fuck kind of chance do you have to stop someone who trumps you in every possible way? What kind of chance do you have to stop someone who knows how to navigate their way to the very fucking top on their own merit like me? You can’t. Maybe you can beat up a few others who have already shown their limitations, go through that tired recycled storyline of being challenged; maybe inflate those numbers so next time someone like me comes around and gets into a match with you that you know you can’t win, you might have some fresh material, ya know? I plan to savor every little bit of this until it runs dry. I’m not here to tread lightly, as if I’m walking across a minefield; I’ll gleefully run straight across it knowing there’s nothing beneath my feet. I’m not going to be respectful or kind or appreciative of the fact that I have such a grand match before me, the luxurious opportunity to challenge for a championship just after losing one. I’m already here. I’m already at this point. I’m already reaching the heights so few can ever say they scaled.”
“Nothing is going to deter me.”
“Not fear, not intimidation of you or the environment I’m about to walk into.”
“The threats of being ruthless, the desire to victimize are generic and I certainly hope I get more than the familiar spin of how Angelo believes he sits on top of everyone, how he’s placed in an untouchable space because he feels comfortable enough to threaten the fools who once associated themselves with him. We can, by all means, play this same song and dance that you’re accustomed to playing but I will be just one step ahead each time.”
“You’re too slow to keep up with me.”
“I’m going to have my cake and I’m going to eat it too. It all begins with you.”