Post by Lil Petey on Feb 17, 2022 23:57:54 GMT -5
“PETEY GETS A SURPRISE FROM HANNAH”
w/ HANNAH MORRISON & OTHERS
also w/ COLE MADDEN as the narrator
FEBRUARY 11TH, 2022
SOMEWHERE BLINDFOLDED
[on camera]
Time has flown by since Hannah and Petey first met. Sparks flew the second they laid eyes on each other, not because of love at first sight or anything, but because Petey’s dumbass decided to light fireworks inside and ended up hurting himself. This prompted Hannah to come check on him, which now that I think about it… it’s genius. Knowing Petey, he had no idea what he was doing in the first place, it just happened that way. Anyways, yeah time has flown since then. They took things slow, hung out backstage, went on some casual dates and somehow someway he was able to pull such a beautiful woman.
“Ayo, don’t be talkin’ ‘bout my girl like that!”
What the fuck, I didn’t know he could hear me while narrating… He knows damn well I ain’t hittin’ on his girl, but he’s still gotta get that alpha reflex out to defend his girl. I get it. So, we fast forward past the casual friendship they started with and go to when Petey won the Warrior Rising Championship. He had promised Hannah on The Before & After that if he won, he would take her on a romantic dinner to wherever she wanted. Of course Hannah wanted to go to Paris, so guess where we ended up going? Yeah, we went to fuckin’ Paris! Shit was beautiful. Petey was still himself, but showed another side of him that I had never seen before and to be honest, didn’t even know existed. He finally found love, man. That’s the beauty of it.
Love doesn’t change who you are, it brings out the person you didn’t know you were to begin with.
That’s exactly what happened to my boy Petey. In one of the most romantic places you could possibly go, Petey and Hannah finally became an item. We fast forward a bit more to where we are today. Petey recently announced that he’s retiring from wrestling and his Retirement Tour began last week in a match against The KaVengers that ended up with him winning - of course. He has yet to announce exactly how this is going to play out and I won’t be the one to ruin it, but supposedly Hannah has set up a special surprise for him because of this, which really brings us to why Petey is currently blindfolded.
Hannah’s worked so hard on this surprise. I’m pretty sure she’s put more time into this than she did worrying about her ex-marriage. She’s a simp for Petey - confirmed!
“Shut up, Cole!”
Damn, I gotta remember they can hear me. Well… There’s a massive ass tent in front of us, almost the size of a fuckin’ small town. I mean this shit is wild, it’s so huge.
“That’s what she said.”
Alright, you know what, Petey?! We’ll air this shit later I’m sick of your shit already. Probably for the best, I haven’t finished editing this yet.
“PETEY DOESN’T REALLY GIVE A FUCK”
FEBRUARY 17TH, 2022
THE HIP HOUSE
[on camera]
“I can’t believe I gotta keep filming this shit for y’all. You know how stressful it is to be vibin’ and enjoyin’ life and then someone texts me making sure I do my promotional shit? Like come on, bro. I’m retiring soon, just let me coast and get beat up a little and we gucci, right?
Anyways, you know we out here at The Hip House with a brand new edition of this shit. We got this dope ass match coming up with the cult boys and the jobber boys aka the fake ass Avengers. I know my Big Drip boys are gonna carry us something as long as it’s not as bad as what the jobber fellas get.
Some of y’all really be talking too much. Like that’s not my vibe, you feel me? You know I’ll talk a lot, but mostly about my girl and just droppin’ some sick bars. This wrestling shit gettin’ old. I ain’t gonna lie to ya, though, it’d be pretty dope to run this shit or like own it or whatever, but you know we out here getting our asses kicked, making the guap, then going home to an absolute baddie like Hannah.
Oh, yeah, back on topic. Well shit, I should let y’all in on a little secret, though. At The Crowning, I’ll be announcing my full retirement tour schedule and what to be expecting! Shit’s about to go down if I don’t die in this wargames shit.
All I know is that everyone in this match got their vibes off right now except TJ, of course. Billy’s alright, kinda weird, but tolerable. That boy Ratman is growing on me though. He kinda funny in a very odd way, but it’s 2022 we fuck with everyone except sexual predators and whatever else that’s negative, sheeeeeeesh.
Alright, well, you know I’m gonna keep this short and sweet like I’m in the sheets. Bust a nut, chill a bit, then go back for round two. Real quick imma just give you a Drip or Not then peace out of this bitch.
Slade Castle? No drip.
Drago Santiago? Miss me with that no drip shit.
Syndicate? Y’all blind if you think that boy drippin’.
Julius Foulweather? That motherfucker needs to stop trippin’ and get back to drippin’.
Billy Bennett? Not drippin’, but them thangs thangin’, respectfully.
Noah Hope? There’s noah hope for his drip, shit you feel me? HAHA.
Serrano Poblano? Iight you kinda drippin’ my dude. You got all the sauce.
Rapture? Nah bruh, put that knife away.
Julius Fineweather? What’s a nice way to say motherfucker? Motherfreaker?
Percival Burque? Not drippin’, but I fuck with you lowkey.
Of course you know Big Drip Worldwide STAYS DRIPPIN’. That’s highkey without a doubt. Alright, that does it for me. I need to go finish this bowl and call my mom. She got this new drink book and I’m curious what cocktail she’s about to put together. Maybe I’ll fuck around and get a new drink. So yeah, fuck True Society! KaVengers can eat my ass from the back no homo. Big Drip Worldwide with the big dub! Let’s go boys.”
