Written In Blood. | THE CROWNING.
Feb 17, 2022 15:08:40 GMT -5
Jason Long, John Blade, and 2 more like this
Post by Alyssa Grace on Feb 17, 2022 15:08:40 GMT -5
WRITTEN IN BLOOD.
Jason Long vs Alyssa Grace vs Savannah Sunshine.
GOODBYE, MY FRIEND, GOODBYE, MY LOVE, YOU'RE IN MY HEART
IT WAS PREORDAINED THAT WE SHOULD PART
AND BE REUNITED BY AND BY, UNITED BY AND BY
GOODBYE, NO HANDSHAKE TO ENDURE, NOW THERE'S NOTHING
IT WAS WRITTEN IN BLOOD, IT WAS WRITTEN IN BLOOD
FEBRUARY 3RD 2022. | | POST FALLOUT XX.
There was an ebbing throb in the head; a constant pounding; it was the same feeling of having your pulse against your throat, except upon your skull. It wasn’t something Alyssa was used to and she had become used to a variety of pains ranging in severity over the years. This was different and that’s what scared her as she regained consciousness after the conclusion of Fallout. The aching she felt was like the beeping of a timebomb about to explode. She didn’t want to explode, she knew she couldn’t. So she swallowed it down. The throb would fade eventually so Alyssa did what she did best and put on a smile. A soft, wavering smile was offered to the medic who had been tending to her.
“What happened?” She asked, groaning slightly as she pulled herself up into a seated position, grimacing slightly at the dry blood on her gear, knowing that for once, barely any of it belonged to her.
“Nasty ladder bump.” The medic explained, handing a bottle of water and two ibuprofen tablets over to Alyssa who accepted the drink and painkillers graciously, the light in the room was almost unbearable. “You got pretty lucky, you don’t seem to have suffered any severe injuries, a couple of cuts and bruises but nothing that should keep you out of action if you take it easy for a week or so.”
Alyssa wasn’t sure how she was supposed to respond to that so she opted to just sit in silence and drink the water thoughtfully, doing her best to shield herself from the blinding white lights. A slight frown found its way onto her face as she desperately tried to remember the details of what went down. The last thing she could remember was being face to face, mere inches away from a bloodied Jason, glaring directly into what used to be his soul and then she woke up in a small, bright, cold room. Obviously, she had lost the main event but that wasn’t something she was concerned about right now. Her mind wandered to Michael and Savannah, despite recent events, she was a little worried that they had met the same fate she had.. if not, a worse one. All she could do was hope that they were okay. She found herself getting lost in her own thoughts as the medic flashed a light in her eyes, most likely to check for a concussion, the part of Alyssa that was still connected to reality took the medic’s nod as a good sign, she really couldn’t afford to be out of action right now.
“Now that I’m awake, do I have to stay here?” She blurted out, a little more bluntly than she had meant to but it had been a long night. Alyssa was mentally and physically drained, she looked as rough as she felt and she had a series of questions that only she could find the answers to and enough time had already been wasted. She had no idea how long she’d been rendered unconscious for.
The medic gave a now stretching Alyssa a one over, almost as if she was mentally examining the redhead's physical state. It was clear she was acting better than she genuinely felt but there wasn’t really much that could be done for her right now, the wounds on her exterior would heal with time and Alyssa wasn’t a complete idiot so she would take it easy until The Crowning came around. The pain she felt internally was a completely different matter and something she would have to figure out on her own. She wasn’t quite sure how she’d manage that, but she’d find a way somehow. The medic sighed. “It’s not like I can keep you here, so yes, you’re free to go.”
Alyssa winced as she immediately got to her feet and headed towards the exit, she had underestimated just how sore she would be but her determination to get back to her hotel room, take a warm shower and crawl into bed so she could be up nice and early for her flight home the following day outweighed her desire to get properly checked out. She’d be back in Pennsylvania soon enough but she didn’t fancy staying in the shitty city for any longer than contractually obligated to. “Alyssa.” The woman in question turned her head back to face the medic who was frowning slightly. “Take it easy, okay?” There were hints of genuine concern in her tone which Alyssa could appreciate so she offered her best attempt of a genuine smile.
“I’ll do my best. I promise.”
A few hours later, an exhausted looking Alyssa Grace emerged from the bathroom of her hotel room. Dressed in pyjamas and her damp hair thrown up into a slightly messy bun, she somehow looked worse now than she did just after Fallout went off air. Makeup no longer concealed lacerations and every step that she took seemed to hurt more than the last, she had severely underestimated the lengths Jason was willing to go to in order to not only keep his title but to hurt her, she should’ve known all along that it was foolish to even consider him showing her a degree of mercy. Their past, the bond they had created that had been unbreakable up until this point didn’t matter at all and she had learned that the hard way.
Throwing herself onto the bed, Alyssa pulled her phone from its charger to check for any updates, things had been eerily quiet since the conclusion of Fallout and considering what went down, this was a little surprising to Alyssa. She breathed a sigh of relief when she read a text from Michael Bishop, one that had been sent only ten minutes ago. He was alive and okay, that took a large weight off her shoulders, at least she still had one genuine friend left.
ALYSSA: Glad to hear you’re doing okay! Things were rough out there for all of us.
MICHAEL: You can say that again. How are you holding up? I was beginning to worry.
ALYSSA: I’ll be fine, it’s nothing time can’t fix. It takes more than that to keep me down.
MICHAEL: I don’t doubt that for a second but that’s not what I asked, how are you feeling right now?
Alyssa paused for a second to contemplate her answer to that question. Truthfully, she was feeling so much that she felt nothing at all. It was almost as if her psyche had gone totally numb in a last minute attempt to shield her from the things she was afraid of facing.
ALYSSA: Tired. Confused. Pissed off. Sore. Upset. The list is endless.
MICHAEL: That doesn’t surprise me considering what happened.
ALYSSA: I can’t even remember the specifics, when I woke up, the details were spotty and I’ve just got back to the hotel so I haven’t had the opportunity to watch the match back.
MICHAEL: Yikes, I’d recommend you do that as soon as you can.
ALYSSA: Why? Was it that bad?
MICHAEL: It’s honestly best you see for yourself. Take care, alright?
ALYSSA: You too.
The few remaining rational parts of her were screaming and practically begging her to not watch the footage until she had slept. She knew she was not going to like what she would wind up seeing regardless but it was probably smart for her to rest and mentally prepare herself as much as possible. But a disgusting mixture of curiosity, frustration and the voices demanding for some kind of answers greatly overpowered any degree of logic in that moment of time. Her fingers trembled and her breathing gradually became rapid as she searched up footage to rewatch. “Here goes nothing.. or everything.” She mumbled to herself as her finger hovered over the play button for a split second before pressing play.
“Alyssa has left Jason in a beaten, and bloodied, mess. The blood on her hands is a shocking reality of just how brutal she can get under severe anger, hatred, and pure despise for someone. Jason just lays there and lets the blood continue to pour from above his eye. Alyssa begins to waste no time in trying to set up the finish line for her to cross, grabbing a spare ladder left in the makeshift ring and setting it up just as the last one was. Making sure there was some distance between the ladder and the tables she had set up beforehand. Alyssa, with every bit of fire in her heart, begins to climb to the top of the ladder— the slow climb seems like such a long time to her, but she was willing to make sure she'd make it all the way up to the top of the ladder. Her bloodied hand reaches the final rung of the ladder before the small platform at the top of the ladder, pushing herself up and finally making it to the point where she could reach the championship. Using the same bloodied hand to reach up and grab onto the championship, letting all of that blood soak into the championship as she tries her best to pull the title down— she's pulling on it as hard as she could…
But, right behind her, was Jason Long. Levitating. Hovering right behind Alyssa. She doesn't realise it yet, but the crowd have as they watch from the titantron, and they are screaming in fear. Alyssa stops for a moment, peeping at the titantron and seeing exactly what others see— BUT IT'S TOO LATE, JASON LOCKS IN THE HYDROCHLORIDE! THE MODIFIED DRAGON SLEEPER IS APPLIED AND HE'S GOT THE GRIP WRAPPED TIGHTLY AROUND THE NECK OF ALYSSA GRACE! ALYSSA IS KICKING! SHE'S SQUIRMING! TRYING HER BEST TO BREAK FREE— BUT SHE HANGS FROM THE CLUTCHES OF JASON LONG AS JASON PLACES HIS FEET DOWN ONTO THE RUNGS OF THE LADDER! SLOWLY, THE KICKS BECOME MORE WEAKER AND WEAKER AND SHE STRUGGLES LESS AND LESS- AND SHE HAS FINALLY PASSED OUT FROM THE DRAGON SLEEPER!
Alyssa has been put to sleep and now she rests in the arms of Jason Long as he looks down at her with a smile resting along his face.
JASON LONG: And to think that your Jason used to like you—
Jason tutted.
JASON LONG: Like. Let me correct myself. He loved you.
A chuckle soon came from The King, gently caressing the back of his hand along Alyssa's face.
JASON LONG: And now, he can't have any of that. For obvious reasons. Hell, he can't even see you, and anyone else, for— well, obvious reasons. But let us relish in this moment we have together Alyssa. It'll be the last time you come this close to anyone named Jason Long again.
Jason leaned down and landed a kiss right down onto the lips of Alyssa Grace, to the disgust of just about everyone in attendance tonight, but the damage wasn't done there as Jason picked her right back up into an Inverted Facelock before lifting her up into the air, with The King standing on the small flat platform at the top of the ladder— THE DEATHSLAYER FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER AND THROUGH THE STACK OF TABLES BELOW! BOTH JASON AND ALYSSA CRASH THROUGH THE TABLES ROUGHLY!”
Although her facial features were now completely blank and devoid of any kind of emotion, unrivalled sadness, disappointment, indignation, resentment, guilt and sickness promptly coursed through her veins and plagued Alyssa’s mind faster than she could even utter the word “stop”. What made this whole ordeal even worse was the fact that she didn’t know if she was feeling this way towards Jason or herself. She didn’t even fully register what she was doing when she grabbed her bag of essentials from the bedside table and pulled out facial wipes, taking one and using it to roughly scrub away at her lips to erase any trace of Jason on them.
Finn.
Halfway through whatever the hell she was doing, her mind wandered to her fiancée and if he had seen what had occurred. This consequently just made Alyssa even more of a mess as multiple questions that she didn’t want the answer to because although the possibility of her hating the answer was minimal, it still existed, popped into her head which caused a sharp pain in the redhead’s chest. Had he seen what had happened? Was he mad at her for the kiss? Would things be awkward when she returned to their home? She shook her head, trying to get these irrational thoughts out of her mind, she really couldn’t afford to have anything else, especially something ridiculous as those kinds of questions, eat away at her.
As if on cue, her phone dinged, indicating a new text. It had to be Finn, it wasn’t like she was expecting to hear from anyone else. Her phone lay face down and Alyssa bit her lip as she glanced over at the device, afraid to pick it up. Gingerly, she reached out for it as the message notification sound replayed in her mind loudly, once it had been unlocked, she instantaneously exited the Fallout replay and went to open her messages. Her shoulders sank in relief, of course everything was currently fine between the couple and for the first time in what felt like days, Alyssa was able to present a tiny, genuine smile.
But as she typed out a loving response to her lover's encouraging message, she was unable to shake the aforementioned negative and borderline self-destructive feelings within, it didn’t matter what she said and what she did, nothing could hide the truth. The dam was breaking; the façade was falling. The feelings bottled up inside kept eating away at her, like a parasite. She wouldn’t let it all out, as much as she wanted to.
As soon as she felt a tear rolling down her cheek, Alyssa just wanted to run away and isolate herself from the cruel, merciless and uncaring world. A large part of her wanted to drop everything and leave this life behind, leave all the memories, all the people, good and bad, behind and go somewhere new to start afresh.
But she couldn’t.
Obvious reasons aside, the ever growing spite in her system refused to let her completely give in just yet. If she left, people like Savannah Sunshine would be right. Turning her back on the very thing that had given her the glow, the spark and the joy she showcased to the world just because she was going through a rough patch would just prove that Alyssa could never hack it in Project Honour like people who will never be able to accomplish half the things already on Alyssa’s resume enjoy claiming and her selfish nature would rather her genuinely die than give people like Savannah the satisfaction of saying “I told you all!”.
So Alyssa would keep going.
Even if it killed her.
But her strength didn’t strip her of shame.
She felt disgusting.
Like a monster.
The dam was definitely beginning to crack.
FEBRUARY 11TH 2022. | | THE WAKEFIELD/GRACE HOUSEHOLD.
It was really fucking tedious.
All thanks to the one and only Jason Long, Alyssa’s days were beginning to become monotonous, uninspiring, and downright excruciating to get through. For a while, the week after Fallout had thankfully been relatively uneventful, nothing out of the ordinary had occurred and spending quality time with her partner and falling back into a training regime that was just enough punishment on her body had put Alyssa in a position where she was quickly becoming her usual chirpy and upbeat self. There were days where Jason didn’t cross her mind once and those were her favourite days. She thought that all she needed to feel fixed was her space, she thought that all she needed was time away from the ring and the situation she had somehow found herself directly involved in, to find herself in an all too familiar position, to find herself in a comfortable place, she needed to feel like she was in control of something, she needed to find herself at home.
Alas, the comfort blanket of home and the known didn’t provide a long-time cure. She had fallen silent in hopes of actually enjoying her time away from a Project: Honour ring and whilst she had been able to have a good time being back in California, celebrating a birthday and planning for the upcoming Valentine’s Day, it was more like the pieces of her had been stuck back together using a cheap and flimsy glue, sure she momentarily appeared and felt okay and like herself but it would only take one more hit for her to shatter into a million more pieces than before and that damage would be a lot harder to fix.
That punch to the gut came from the best and worst thing to ever grace humanity - social media.
The pointless arguing, the petty comments, the high school level insults, the simply untrue and character damaging implications and accusations that just kept on coming and coming from a grown man with too much free time on his hands had ripped Alyssa to shreds and she felt beyond pathetic admitting that. Things shouldn’t have gotten to her beyond a surface level but they had done and really, she couldn’t be blamed for feeling the things she felt. To everyone else, it was hilarious, but for Alyssa it was quite possibly the most embarrassing thing she had ever found herself involuntarily smack bang in the middle of. But of course, everyone else found it absolutely hilarious and chose to completely ignore the fact that she had feelings that were being toyed with here. For the most part, she had bit her tongue and remained quiet, she didn’t fancy giving Jason the satisfaction of a reaction or an ounce of the attention he so clearly craved, provoking Alyssa and genuinely irritating her had always been a bit of a challenge, even for the best inconsiderate cunts the world has to offer, but it had become increasingly difficult to ignore something that just wouldn’t take the hint and go away over the past week or so. Tensions had arisen from out of thin air, lines had not only been crossed, but leapt over and solid relationships almost threatened for no genuine reason beyond the fact that Jason wanted something he could no longer have.
Her anger had been the side effect of a worse feeling - sadness.
Alyssa had always been credited for her strength and ability to take every situation in her stride. She was incredibly proud to have made it this far in life despite the odds being stacked against her at some points and she would always credit herself for never giving up or in when it seemed like the easy, the best or the only thing left to do, Alyssa always stood loud and proud, even if she had to stand on one leg whilst holding onto the arm of another to remain stable.
But that didn’t mean she always enjoyed being strong. At times, it was incredibly draining and on days like this, all Alyssa wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry her eyes out. All she wanted to do was let herself be angry at the world and curse God or whatever superior being may or may not exist for putting her in this position because she didn’t deserve it, no one did. She wanted to let herself be sad and mourn the loss of her best and closest friend in the universe, she wanted to wonder what went wrong and pinpoint the exact moment everything fell apart and proceed to hate and blame herself for whatever the moment was. She wanted to upset herself and reflect on all the good times and cry because for reasons she couldn’t quite understand or begin to comprehend she’d never get to experience them again, she didn’t want to let go of the past because that’s all she had left.
So, that’s exactly what she did.
She wallowed in the feelings she had done her best to push to the side and ignore and she threw the world's biggest pity party. She’d never been in a situation that was so personal so she had no idea how to approach things, for the first time in forever she had absolutely no idea what to do and that terrified her. It was nearly 5 in the afternoon and Alyssa still hadn’t bothered to drag herself out of bed unless she needed to use the bathroom. The sunlight had been slipping through her blinds since early in the AM, and Alyssa had finally just turned her back to it, trying to get it to set faster. She had feigned a sickness, blaming how she suddenly felt unwell and unable to head to the gym today on eating something rough the previous night and whilst she wasn’t sure just how convincing her performance had been, she was glad to be able to have a day of doing nothing productive whatsoever.
All of her goals and all of her dreams seemed millions of miles away and right now she had definitely lost any spark or passion she had for competing. It felt like whatever she did inside that ring was never going to be good enough, and Alyssa was sick and tired of fighting for what she deserved, she was sick and tired of Savannah Sunshine and she was really fucking sick and tired of Jason Long. She was tired of crying, working hard, and looking for her pay off. Reality was starting to sink in and it was a bitter pill to swallow.
It was really fucking bitter.
Doubt, self-loathing, depression, anxiety, fear, and hopelessness ate away at Alyssa on a daily basis, bettering herself mentally was an uphill battle and she was close to throwing in the towel. Those emotions consumed her every thought, and her reactions to those emotions were never positive these days. Plastering that smile across her face was becoming almost impossible and she knew people could see the lack of passion in her eyes. Every time Alyssa looked in the mirror, she saw it for herself. Emotions weren’t something she tried to hide. For way too long, she had done that. She had suffered in silence and let the world and people around her eat her alive.
She felt her stomach clench and a sharp, stabbing pain piece her heart.
When Alyssa signed her name on the contract back in October, she was excited, coming to Project: Honour was meant to be a new and exciting adventure and whilst she never expected anything to be handed to her and she never wanted things to be easy, she never visualized herself being in this sort of position. What had she gained from this? Absolutely fuck all unless you counted shattered hope, broken promises and busted trust. At 24-years old, with her best years ahead of her, Alyssa was extremely close to being done. There was only so much a person could take, and Alyssa felt like she was at that point. She was done taking shit and she was done talking about it.
“I fucking hate Fridays,” she mumbled as she finally threw back the covers and fell into an uncomfortable sleep.
FEBRUARY 16TH 2022. | | THE WAKEFIELD/GRACE HOUSEHOLD.
Eight hours before Alyssa was set to make the journey to return to Pennsylvania, she sat in the middle of her bedroom floor, a half packed suitcase in front of her. Her spirits were a little higher than before and that was something she was going to take, even if her mood hadn’t drastically improved, it was better than nothing. Music that she was absentmindedly humming along to blasted from her phone as she mentally ticked off the list of things she needed for her trip. Gear? Check. Plenty of spare clothes? Check. Purse? Check. Toiletries? Check. Out of the corner of her eye, a box caught Alyssa’s attention, one that caused her to stop what she was doing, rise to her feet and retrieve the item from one of the shelves in the room, a small smile appearing on her face as she realized what that box was.
Her box of memories.
Alyssa had always been a rather sentimental person who believed in the importance of making as many memories as possible with her loved ones, it had almost become her “thing” to document just about every feel good moment in her professional and personal life at this point. Completely forgetting what she was meant to be doing, Alyssa took a seat on the edge of her bed and opened the box up, reading to take a trip down memory lane. Fondness glimmered in her eyes as she glanced down at the first photo, one taken over two years ago, one that was coincidentally taken the day she properly met Jason for the first time, the day of Omega Wrestling Alliance's Clash Of The Titans event in 2020.
FEBRUARY 1ST 2020.
An anxious Alyssa Grace is pictured pacing back and forth in the backstage area of the Alamodome in San Antonio Texas, tonight is the night of one of the biggest events held by Omega Wrestling Alliance and one of the newest and youngest signees to the company is certainly feeling the pressure on her shoulders. With a successful debut beneath her belt, Alyssa is reminding herself to remain confident but that is a lot easier said than done considering she has never performed on a stage so vast before, the thought of having hundreds of thousands of eyes on her makes her want to vomit but she’s doing her best to remain calm. This is an opportunity to show the world that she deserves to be here and she does not want to screw it up.
Grace suddenly jumps as she feels someone politely tap her shoulder, she turns to greet the stranger with a polite smile. She vaguely recognises the man standing before her but she can’t put a name to his face, she is yet to familiarize herself with the entire roster and she doesn’t have very many friends yet but considering it hasn’t even been a month since her debut, that’s okay.
“Alyssa, right?” He speaks with an Irish accent, similar to her own, which makes her feel a little less on the edge for some reason.
"That's me. You are?” She hopes she isn’t coming across as rude since she is genuinely curious to know the identity of the man who decided to approach her. She notices how he seems taken aback to know that she’s also from Ireland.
“Jason. Jason Long. Better known as Maverick.” Jason extends his hand for Alyssa to take, she shakes it gently and offers a genuine smile. “I couldn’t help but notice you look a little nervous, you ever been in a match like this before?”
“That obvious I’m shitting bricks?” Her question is rhetorical and asked with a gentle laugh. “Nah, I’ve never done anything like this before, I take it you have?”
He nods. “Yeah, you wind up in a lot of crazy stipulations once you’ve been doing this for as long as I have. Seriously though, from what I’ve seen so far, I’d say you have nothing to worry about. You’re great.”
Alyssa stops fiddling with her thumbs to look Jason in the eye, she takes a moment to properly look at him and she finds herself feeling rather flattered by his compliment. Perhaps people were paying attention to her after all. She hopes the lights conceal the fact her cheeks now have a slight pink tinge to them.
“Thank you!” She beams. “Any advice?”
“Just don’t get eliminated.”
The two fall silent for a moment before breaking out into a laugh and without realizing it, Alyssa’s nerves have pretty much disappeared, she’s barely paying attention to her surroundings until her phone goes off, indicating she’s needed for something and she’s needed now. She frowns before taking a deep breath, it’s now or never.
“Well fuck, looks like I’m up. I’ll see you after the show?”
"Definitely. Good luck Alyssa.”
Ah the start of what once was a beautiful friendship, Alyssa remembered that night fondly. Neither Jason or Alyssa emerged victorious that evening but they gained something even better than a win - eachother. She gently places the photo to one side and picks up another one, one taken on her twenty second birthday. In this photo Alyssa was standing with Jason and some friends, Jason had one arm wrapped around Alyssa who leaned into him, both with ridiculous expressions on their faces. For her first birthday in the states, he sure went out of his way to make sure it was a good one.
MARCH 26TH 2020.
“Nah, I don’t have anything planned for today. Well I mean, unless you count eating twice my weight in Chinese food and watching every single awful movie I can find on Netflix as plans that is.” A lighthearted laugh slips past Alyssa Grace’s lips as she stirs her cup of coffee. Today is her twenty second birthday, her first birthday celebrated in the states and she’s currently on the phone to Jason Long. The two have become very close in a rather short amount of time and Alyssa is beyond grateful for this. Despite being an ass on screen, she’s come to find that he’s absolutely lovely off screen and the two have more in common than you’d think. Giving up everything to move to a new country was incredibly daunting and loneliness had always been one of Alyssa’s biggest fears but with his guidance and friendship, she’d managed to settle in fast enough and not a day went by where she felt alone. The redhead has never really been one to see the point in extravagant birthday celebrations, especially in adulthood, so she wasn’t going to make a big deal out of her day. Yay, she’s one year older, big whoop.
“Okay, good. Open your door real quick.” Jason smirks smugly to himself as he stands outside Alyssa’s apartment, a bouquet of flowers and a neatly wrapped present in hand. “C’mon, just do it!” He exclaims after being met with confusion from Alyssa, he does his best to not be too loud though as he doesn’t want to ruin the surprise he’s put a lot of thought into.
“Happy birthday Alyssa.”
Alyssa’s jaw drops as she opens the door to find Jason standing there, looking ever so proud of himself. Her eyes scan the flowers, the gift and finally him as she breaks out into the widest grin possible. She doesn’t speak to begin with, she’s simply unable to find the words. Finally, she’s able to compose herself and she pulls him into a hug. “What on Earth are you doing here?” She ushers Jason in, laughing carefreely as she shuts the door behind them, he lives a few hours away from her current location so she’s certainly feeling very (pleasantly) surprised.
“You really thought I was going to let you celebrate your first birthday here on your own? Today is your day and someone as special as you deserves to do something special so here I am to make sure you do something special!” He explains matter-of-factly, almost as if Alyssa shouldn’t be taken aback that he’s currently standing in her living room. He hands her the flowers and the gift which she gingerly takes. The fact that she hasn’t stopped smiling once makes him smile and internally pat himself on the back.
Alyssa is clearly stunned and overcome with emotion so all she can do is gently place the presents down and bring him in for another hug which he returns with enthusiasm. “No one’s ever gone out of their way for me like this before.” She whispers into him. “Thank you Jason, you’ve already made this the best birthday I’ve ever had.”
She pulls away and wipes her eye before picking the gift box up, carefully opening it to reveal a stunning silver necklace. Alyssa gasps, hoping it wasn’t too expensive.
“Open it up.” He smiles at her, excited to see her reaction because she deserves this.
She’s confused for a moment but does what he says, inside the locket is the first photo the two ever took together, it’s a simple selfie but the gesture makes it the most important photo ever taken in Alyssa’s eyes.
“Here, let me help you put it on.” He doesn’t mind that Alyssa hasn’t said anything, this must be a lot for her to take in and it’s clear that he had done something amazing for her. He carefully helps her slip the necklace on and he can’t help but feel like it was made just for her. “We’re gonna meet up with some others later but since you’re already dressed and looking great may I add, I was thinking I could take you out to breakfast first? Just us, it’ll be my treat.”
Alyssa turns to face him and wastes no time grabbing his hand.
"Let's go.”
Alyssa’s face suddenly fell as she skimmed through the photos. One stuck out to her and immediately reminded her of a day she would do anything to forget, it was quite possibly the worst day of her life and to this day, she does not know how she would’ve made it through without Jason’s support.
MAY 9TH 2020.
Jason slips into the lobby of the hotel hosting OWA stars with a satisfied grin on his face, whistling a tune to himself. Donning workout gear, he wipes his forehead and takes a second to stop and drink from his water bottle. Usually he wouldn’t be exercising at this time but insomnia makes people do crazy things and in his profession, it doesn’t hurt to do more than what’s expected of you. However, his smile fades the second he lays eyes on a frantic looking individual heading towards the front doors. It’s not the fact that he has company which surprises him, it’s who is in his company that takes him aback for a moment or two because he’s never seen her behave like this before.
Silent tears run down the face of Alyssa Grace as she wanders around. It’s 5 in the morning so thankfully no one is around to see her in such a distraught state. It looks like she hasn’t slept in weeks despite waking up about an hour ago, her hands shake violently, her lip trembles, her legs feel like they’re about to stop functioning at any second and her eyes look off into the distance, staring at something that isn’t there. She’s so out of touch that she doesn’t hear Jason approach her. She has to do her best to not scream her broken lungs out as he turns her around and stops her from leaving.
“Alyssa?”
It’s like he can’t believe she’s stood before him like this and it only takes a split second of eye contact for her to break down and start crying rather aggressively. He places his hands on her shoulders and speaks calmly, voice laced with nothing but concern. “Alyssa, what’s wrong? What happened?”
Alyssa takes a deep breath to try and calm herself down but it doesn’t work. She can’t get the words out, she can’t look him in the eye, let alone speak to him right now but she tries. “He.. he’s dead.. he’s gone. Dead. Gone. Forever.” She chokes out pathetically and Jason steadies her, confusion etched into his features.
“What? Who’s dead? You’re not making much sense, love.” He speaks as softly as he can, he doesn’t want to scare Alyssa with his concern and leads her over to some seats, he doesn’t know what happened but it must have been absolutely soul crushing to have her like this. His heart immediately begins to ache for her as she does her best to talk somewhat normally.
“My dad.” She manages to get out and Jason’s expression, along with his chest, drops. “I.. I just got off the phone with my mam. He’s gone. He’s not coming back. Ever. I won’t be able to hug him. I won’t ever be able to hear him say he’s proud of me. And given everything I shouldn’t be sad but..” It’s all too much for her and she suddenly begins sobbing into her hands which causes him to soothingly rub her back, encouraging her to get it all out. He knows that her relationship with her family has always been rocky.
“Hey, hey, you have every right to react like this. You have every fucking right to be hurt right now. Don’t you dare try to hold anything in. I’m so sorry ‘Lyssa.” His voice drops to a whisper and he notices that she begins to shake less, which is good. He lets her just cry, as heart breaking as it is to see, it’s what she needs right now.
“Thank you.” She sniffles, glancing up at him with a sad smile. “If it’s not too much to ask, can you stay with me for a bit? I don’t think I can be alone right now.”
Jason gently squeezes her shoulder and helps her sit back up. “That will never be too much to ask. I’m here for you always. You’ve got me whenever you need me, you always will do. I promise you that.”
Jason pulls Alyssa in and lets her rest her head on his shoulder. The future was going to be rough but he vowed to do everything in his power to make it as easy as possible for her to make sure he’d never have to see her like this again.
To her, it was funny how she could remember the days spent with him in so much detail, usually the days blended into one another but her friendship with Jason definitely stood out for multiple reasons. She flipped through the photos carefully, tracing her fingers over each one as if to relieve the simpler days. In the first few months of their friendship, there were a few times where Alyssa believed that the connection they had was more than a platonic one. Friends just didn’t look at each other the way Alyssa and Jason looked at each other. Now, looking back at things it was clear to Alyssa that other people must’ve also believed they’d wind up in a relationship but since the universe always had worked in funny ways.. they never did.
Right person, wrong time perhaps.
Or perhaps Alyssa was the lost love who slipped out of Jason’s grasp and managed to get away.
Up until recently, Alyssa had never paid much attention to that since the two remained incredible friends and Jason was genuinely happy with Savannah for a period of time, not to mention it had always been as clear as the sky that Alyssa found herself head over heels in love with someone who was not Jason Long. Their connection was never affected by their relationships with other people until now and that did suck. Alyssa shook her head, refusing to let herself fall into another negative headspace as she picked up another photo, one taken in late September of 2020.
Her first date with Finn.
She glanced down at her engagement ring, warmth immediately flooding her veins.
SEPTEMBER 29TH 2020.
“Do I look okay?”
Jason Long and Michael Bishop look up from the video game they have been playing to be met with a dressed up Alyssa Grace. She smiles at her friends and pats her dress down, the outfit and the makeup isn’t something she usually wears but she feels absolutely stunning. Michael jokingly wolf whistles which causes Alyssa to roll her eyes and Jason to punch him in the arm.
“You look lovely. What’s the special occasion you forgot to mention to us?” Michael teased but Jason was genuinely curious to know, of course the three didn’t have to do everything together but for some reason, Jason felt an uneasy feeling in his stomach at the sight of her looking fancy in the way she did.
Over the past few months, the trio had become exceptionally close, it was surprising that Alyssa had found a way to become even closer to Jason yet here they were. Together, the three individuals made up the self dubbed “IRA Goon Squad.” and they regularly hung out inside and outside of their job. It was beyond refreshing for Alyssa to have this, she considered the two to pretty much be brothers.
“I could’ve sworn I told you guys!” She exclaims happily, applying a fresh coat of lipgloss, she’s clearly unable to hide her excitement and the two men think she might actually burst because of how she’s bouncing around the room. She’s practically squealing with delight, acting like a teenager with a crush on Brad Pitt. “I have a date tonight!”
“Look at you go! Who with?” Michael asks, very happy for his friend. As Alyssa fills him in with the details, Jason spaces out. He should not be upset right now yet.. he is, Alyssa is a young, pretty, single woman free to do whatever the hell she wants and it came as a slight surprise that it had taken someone this long to make a move on her. He pays no attention to what Alyssa is saying and only comes crashing down to reality when he’s nudged in the arm by Michael. He finds both Michael and Alyssa looking at him expectantly.
“You okay? You came over a little pale all of a sudden.” Alyssa asks, genuinely concerned. Jason swallows the lump in his throat. He doesn’t have the strength or desire to ruin the mood, especially when Alyssa looks so goddamn happy. It’s the first time he’s seen her like this in months and she deserves it. She really does.
“Yeah.. I’m fine.” He puts on a smile, hoping it’s convincing enough for no questions to be asked and then clears his throat properly. “I’m happy for you! You look beautiful and I hope you have a wonderful evening.”
“Awh, thank you!” She pulls him into a friendly hug but breaks it rather quickly. “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go! I’ll fill you in later. Bye!”
As she quickly rushes out of the room, Jason keeps looking at her, the smile on his face not quite meeting his eyes.
Any thought of Jason quickly left Alyssa’s mind as she continued to flip through the photos, he began to appear in them less frequently. From title wins to title losses, to brutal matchups, intense rivalries, career defining accomplishments and moments, to holidays, birthdays and any remotely special events celebrated in grand and loving fashion, Alyssa took a moment to fully comprehend just how far she had come. She separated the photos with Jason from the rest and put them into their own pile, picking the one on the top up. The last photo they took before everything fell apart. The day Alyssa announced she was coming to Project: Honour.
OCTOBER 26TH 2021.
“No fucking way.”
“Yes fucking way!”
Alyssa Grace laughs and then smirks satisfactorily to herself before she takes a sip of her soda, the absolutely flabbergasted expression on Jason Long’s face is rather amusing to her. She had just broken the news that she had signed with Project: Honour, a company where Jason works and admittedly dominates. Whilst the time the two get to spend together as a duo is limited these days due to them both being in serious and successful relationships, their careers going rather well and life just being life, they make sure to remain committed to meeting up for lunch once a week, just to catch up. Whilst a lot of things had and were continuing to change in life, it was always nice to know that her bond with Jason would remain the same. That constant, that sense of stability was something special and they both needed it.
“One company isn’t enough for you to dominate huh?” He asks playfully.
“Wow, you’re a lot smarter than you look- hey you bastard!” She teases, dodging the fry he threw in her direction and sighing happily, resting her head in her hands. “Who says I’m not coming to Fallout just to kick your ass? More time with me is also never a bad thing, don’t start complaining now!” Alyssa shoots a wink in his direction.
“I’m not complaining, I’m just saying that I will happily kick your ass into next year.” He challenges, mimicking Alyssa’s pose, resting his head in his hands to look at her. A comfortable silence falls over the two but it does not last for very long as they burst out into a fit of laughter, they just can’t help themselves.
“How well did that go for you last time, eh? My memory isn’t as good as it used to be, please remind me, who won that match?” She asks in reference to the first and only time the two shared a ring.
Jason rolls his eyes and touches the back of his head. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, you won that match. I’m sure I still have the scar from when you whacked me with a light tube, that was really nice of you by the way.”
“You’re welcome!” Alyssa clears her throat, her tone becoming a little more serious. “Seriously though, I’d love for us to get a one on one someday, you already know how much I look up to you professionally. We’d absolutely kill it.”
“We definitely would. That’s an absolute guarantee, it’ll happen at some point, it has to.” Jason sat in thought for a moment. “I’m glad you’ll be on Fallout though, I’m positive you’ll fit right in. It’s a great place. And if you ever have any issues with anyone, I’ve got your back.”
“And the same to you. Always.”
The two smile at one another, excited to embark on this chapter of Alyssa’s life together.
Get rid of him, once and for all.
It wasn’t like she wanted to do this but her brain and heart were in agreement - this had to be done. With sadness in her eyes, Alyssa bit her lip and then tossed the photos into the bin, letting out a shaky breath.
Red. That is the colour Alyssa calls Jason, it’s what she calls pain; bright and dull at once, potent and ripe. Jason lusts for pain, the kind that’s intoxicatingly impactful, the kind that has rendered Alyssa drunk with madness and entangled her with death’s door. He had taken pleasure not in planting the knife, but in twisting it; watching the life drain out of her eyes but never completely dim, he had taken pleasure in leaving her gasping for breath for as long as he can — watching her struggle, holding the carrot on the stick so close that she could almost reach it. Tantalization is what he finds glee in; to dangle a prize which is unobtainable, to watch her swipe wildly for it but miss, unable to grasp onto that lovely relief.
It was like Jason relished in seeing those he once cared about being in pain. Heartbreak, wounds, grief — it’s all the same to him. He enjoyed watching Alyssa bleed, watching her cry, watching her fold into herself and drive herself mad with suffering, with longing for once could’ve been. He fell in love with Alyssa, someone who has always had a wildness in her eyes, Alyssa has loved and lost plenty; a mania that blinds her from much but opens her eyes to more, her sanity dwindled away with every blow, either physical or verbal that he had hit her with; with his every touch. The brink of insanity is a beauty he relishes in; watching his victim swing like a pendulum between derangement and lucidity. He had been watching her stagger over that line like a drunken fool — into his trap where he may steal her for himself and take every speck of sanity left in her.
He whispered secrets; pushed her to her limit, enticed her with deep desires, tempted her towards an irresistible prize before springing his trap, luring her towards her demise before ensnaring her in his grasp. His tongue of silver has always been alluring, his promises have always been undeniable and his webs were always spun in ways that would kill her. Once his gaze was upon her, hope of her escaping jumped out of the window. He twisted her thoughts and snapped her neck before she could even notice his hands around her throat. It was like he had kissed her and had her fall in love with him, so like a frog in a pot, she never did notice the death creeping up on her before alas, it is too late.
Jason always refuses to have anything but his way.
Her misery is his delight, her tears his laughter, her downfall his rise.
What brings her death brings him life.
FEBRUARY 17TH 2022. | | PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA.
The calm before the storm.
Alyssa Grace sits before the window in her hotel room, looking nonchalantly at the city before her. It’s beautiful. An overwhelming amount of silence fills the room. She is yet to unpack her luggage or even announce her arrival to the hosting town of The Crowning yet.
She takes a sip of her tea.
She needs one final moment to herself because soon, everything is going to change.
“If nothing else, I will always stand by the things I have said. Sometimes those words are all I have.”
Her tone is flat, emotionless and cold. There are a million and ten things Alyssa would rather be doing right now, but here she is.
“It’s been a rough road, there’s no doubt about it. Missed opportunity after missed opportunity, having all the momentum in the world but never quite getting there, I’m clearly good enough to excel against virtually every wrestler in the company, but somehow not good enough to piece it all together when it matters and fire on all cylinders so I can stand on top of the world. I’m not going to lie to any of you and try to sugarcoat any of this — this shit sucks. These realities, and the fact that I’m forced to accept them more and more by the day, gnaw at my psyche. I’m pissed off that I dropped the ball. Now I have to figure out how to pick it back up. That’s an equation I’ve been trying to solve. But I’m not doing that alone.”
“Am I, Savannah?”
A hollow laugh fills the atmosphere and Alyssa shakes her head.
“I could easily sit here and repeat every single word I said to you the last time we danced this unfortunate dance and every single syllable would be appropriate and applicable but unlike yourself, I don’t feel the need to regurgitate mediocrity to get people to pay a degree of attention to me and I have the ability to make my points stick using a variety of techniques. Your straight up ignorance infuriates me beyond belief and it’s actually impressive how long you’ve managed to keep this attitude towards me up. I would almost understand acting superior to me if you had the accolades, respect, reputation and the past to back it up, but the truth is you do not. The only thing you have on me is the fact you have worked here longer and you have a title reign that didn’t even last three weeks. I don’t quite understand why those are things you’d want to flaunt, you could just admit that I intimidate you, that isn’t anything to be ashamed of.”
“Why do I need to explain things to you like you’re a child? You are a grown woman, correct? You came to this company in March of last year, I did not arrive until October. Statistically, the chances of you having a greater win record, the odds of you doing more than what I have been able to do are high simply because you have been involved in more matches than I have. I may beat you in every other department but I am sensible enough to admit that you have more experience and time over me here. Please do not take that as praise because you aren’t deserving of any compliment I may have to offer. I have said it once and apparently I have to say it again, I am fully aware that this isn’t OWA and truthfully, you appear to be more fixated on comparing my career there to my career here than I am. Why is that? Are you jealous I could actually hack it there and whilst things may not be currently going my way here, I’m still hacking it here? You should be thankful that this isn’t an environment like OWA because if it was, you wouldn’t even have the bare minimum to brag about, hell, chances are you wouldn’t even be here to try and earn the bare minimum.”
“I think a lot of what you have to say is nothing more than projection, I can tell by how angry you get over the smallest of things. Yes, I have lost quite a bit recently but I do not see you racking up wins left right and centre, I do not see you as the person holding the championship we’re about to once again compete for and I certainly do not see you in a position above me, as much as it pains me to admit this, I see you right beside me. If I’m sinking, you’re already neck deep in the mud and if this is your home, it is in a dire need of a cleanse and if I’m nothing special then you’re the world’s longest piss break.”
Alyssa takes a deep breath and cracks her neck, letting her eyes come to a close for a few moments so she remains as composed as possible before continuing.
“I’d like to hear an example of when I was handed something “just because”, if you’re going to sit here and insult the amount of work I put in on a daily basis, I’d hope you have some solid evidence to support your outlandish claims. But IF, and it’s a big fat IF, that was the case, I have spent years racking up the resume of someone who can be trusted in the spotlight so it would make sense as to why I’d be favoured over others for the spots we’d all kill for. The truth of the matter is simple, my name holds more weight than yours ever will and that isn’t “just because”, that’s because I have scratched, clawed, kicked and screamed my way up the ladders. You get what you give in this industry and I just give more than you do. It really isn’t hard to understand. I have every single right to remain confident in myself, especially during tough times and I’m not going to change how I operate because it pisses you off. Although you do not strike any fear into my heart, you are more than welcome to challenge every single part of me, in fact I will ask you to because I’m never going to shy away from a challenge, even if said challenge is just a façade. There are lessons to be learned in even the worst situations and what I’m learning from you is that I’m going to do anything to ensure I don’t wind up like you.”
“It’s hilarious that you can so confidently proclaim that I am the one who is pretending to know things they actually have no knowledge about when that’s your entire gimmick at this point. You truly do have absolutely no idea about anything that is going on around you and sometimes I wish I lacked critical thinking skills like you because you seem so happy and so confident at being wrong. There’s zero doubt in my mind about who the better woman is out of the two of us both professionally and personally. At the very root of our respective souls, I’m the one who stands out. Even in defeat, people remember what I say and what I do. Even in defeat I look like a fucking star and I can even give you a five star classic which is a further testament to just how good I really am.”
“I’m better.”
“And you can’t stand that.”
“Maybe you should try being better instead of bitter.”
“I’m the person who showed up to the big leagues one day, ready to play, and better than I had any right to be. I have worked tirelessly since the day I came to this country to show the world what I’m about. I single-handedly change the entire landscape of this place by remaining true to myself and being completely authentic. I’ve always been praised for what I bring to the table and now everyone wants to be like me. Everything you can do, I can do better. I’m not making this match about our respective records or how we got to this point. I don’t care how we’ve both conducted our business in the past. I’m not going to pick apart every little thing and use that to my advantage. It’s whatever because on any given night, someone can pull a fuckin upset. That’s just how this business works. I’m not gonna engage in some verbal pissing contest, either. That’s just not my thing. I don’t care to scream obscenities at the top of my lungs or yell to get my points across. I’m not gonna challenge you to come get these hands or throw smoke. You can spin whatever narrative you want this week to make yourself believe this match is yours for the taking. Do it. I welcome it. I’m a secure individual. I know what the fuck I can do. I don’t have to jam it down your throat or join the bad guys to be looked at.”
“I’m kinda really pissed and it’s kinda your fault Savannah.”
“I’m so sick of being overlooked by someone like you. I’m sick of being talked about like I’m the least important member of this roster while actually being the best on it. I’m tired of having this conversation. I’m fed up with things not changing. When I get into the ring with you and our boy Jason, I’m throwing all caution to the wind. I’m going out there for a fight. I want to hurt you both and make you feel the pain I feel. I want you to feel as inadequate and shitty as this life makes me feel. I want you to know now that I plan on unleashing all of my emotions. I’m not going to play it safe and wait for my opening. I’m stepping my foot on the gas and driving straight into a brick wall. I will channel everything I fucking feel and use it to my advantage. I’m going to be reckless, careless, and go for broke. I will rip you both to pieces or I will die trying. I don’t care anymore, and you know what? Maybe that makes me a little dangerous. When you take an athlete of my calibre and reduce them to nothing, and destroy them to the point where they’re willing to throw their training and discipline out of the window, you’ve fucked up. You’ve unleashed a monster. I’ve spilled blood on more than one occasion. Anything goes and I can do whatever the fuck I want. People have no clue what Alyssa Grace is truly capable of, and they don’t know just how badly I want to send a ‘fuck you’ to all of the world. I can do a lot of damage. I can take a lot of punishment. I’m walking to that ring and I’m putting on blinders. You and Jason are going to feel my anger. You will feel my frustration. You will feel how cold and dead I am inside. I have nothing to lose. I don’t have to be smart, or safe. I can just go out there and be free.”
“Maybe for the first time in a long time, I can finally be me."
The sun is beginning to set and as evening arrives, everything begins to dawn on Alyssa once again. She pushes Savannah to the back of her mind for a moment, after everything he has done, after trying to ruin her life, the least Jason deserves is her full attention. It is a personal and painful situation she finds herself in but she knows that nothing will beat the satisfaction she’ll feel when she puts an end to this.
Alyssa has to be the one to end this.
She just has to be.
“Jason.”
“What can I fucking say about Jason Long?”
“The two of us were inseparable from the day we met. We were two halves of the same coin: dark and light, strong and smart, responsible and rebellious. Our differences made us stronger, our similarities made us better. We thought it would never end.”
“But it did.”
“And now look where we are.”
Alyssa can’t even bring herself to laugh, she can’t bring herself to sigh, she simply does nothing but stare ahead.
“Do you really think this is going to be worth it in the end?”
“Oh sure, it’s so fun running from problems you’ve caused all the time, isn’t it? Yeah, I see your medal with adaptable carved into it hanging from your neck. How could I ignore it? You keep it in between your teeth in case anyone who wants to genuinely love or care for you dares forget for a split second. Loneliness is a lake with no bottom and you are mouth deep in it. Explain to me how your mystery, how your approaches are anything but fear of attachment? Tell me your “versatility” is not emotional distance with a cleaner face. This isn’t about doing as much as you possibly can, this is ignoring all your problems knocking until they give up and go home.”
“But this problem is going nowhere.”
“Go ahead and keep recreating yourself, show us all how flexible you are and how this new self is so much stronger and more interesting than the last you. You think you’re charming but really, you just redo yourself because you’re terrified of looking in the mirror and seeing a familiar face.”
“God I fucking hate you.”
“I fucking hate you for giving me no choice but to leave you, I fucking hate you for giving me no choice but to do what I’m going to do to you, I fucking hate you for being the reason things have come to this because things didn’t have to come to this and I cannot wait until the day comes where we are nothing but strangers again. Not even enemies, just strangers because god, how many funerals do I have to hold for you? I hold onto a piece of your heart like an outgrown necklace; you wear a piece of mine on your sleeve whether you like it or not and maybe that’s all we’ll ever be to each other again - half-forgotten relics from a bittersweet time, keepsakes of who we were.”
“My life is my own. There’s no rumour about it. I know you feel this need to take everything and act as though you’re presenting something new to the world for the sake of maintaining this fucking idea that you’re some edgy persona. But what you present as rumour for your shock revelation of wanting things to be personal between us is spoiled by the face you’ve made it very fucking clear that you want things to be personal between us. Crystal clear actually. So cut the shit. This life has beaten me down time and time again and I stand here beaten and battered once more by its cruelty. But as always, I’m not broken. I still refuse to accept that there’s nothing good for me in this life. Finn showed me that. And while he deserves much better than what he’s gotten lately because of you, I’ll live my entire life letting him know how much I love him back and you aren’t going to ever fucking change that.”
“I don’t get it. I don’t get how you can admit to once loving me and then finding joy in trying to rip everything I have apart. This jealousy, this inability to handle rejection from you is so new to me and it genuinely hurts my heart because once upon a time, I would’ve done absolutely anything for you. You want me to become you, don’t you? You want me to give in to everything I’ve suffered and let it consume me because then your miserable existence would have the company you so desperately crave and maybe, just maybe, you’d have a chance at having me in the way you dream of having. But I’ve come too far, been through too fucking much to give in to that.”
“I won’t become you. But I’m happy to become something far, far worse.”
“You’re no devil. But I’ll make certain to rain the wrath of god on your head before I send you to burn in hell and then you can tell the devil I’m not too far behind. This could’ve just been another match between me, you and your ex. It could’ve been a straightforward affair. One more contest to clear things up. But you needed it to be personal. So you try to end my engagement. What did you hope to prove with all of it? What? That maybe there’s a dark side to me after all? I can promise you that I’ve been a devil to more people than I’ve been an angel to. Maybe you just wanted to show everyone that my life isn’t perfect? I have never claimed my life was perfect. You look at what I built up from. And yes I have the house. The fiancée. All of it. And still, life finds a way to shit on me. To dump me back down further than ever before. That’s what it’s always done, but I’ve never given up before. And right now, it hurts. I know you know that, you want me to hurt. But I’m not so guarded that I can’t admit that. It hurts, but I won’t stop. I sacrificed so much of my life to get here. You aren’t going to be facing the version of me you’re so used to at this point. Oh god no. Mark my fucking words, I’m not going to just beat you when we get in that ring. No. I’m going to break you. I’m going to make you pay for everything. For every tear I’ve shed, for every time I've had to see that pain in my fiancée's face, for every tweet where people want to ask me about personal details, for every time some stupid cunt has laughed at my misery, Jason Long, I promise you this, I’m going to burn you alive from the inside out. To my dying breath, I am going to tear you limb from limb; I will rip whatever black lump sits where your heart is meant to be and make you eat it as the world watches. I will leave you a broken and dying heap, begging me just to make the pain stop so that maybe you can somehow find some release from the suffering and then I’ll snap your goddamn neck like I’ve done so many times before and I’ll watch as the very life slowly fades from your rotting corpse as I stand with my foot on your throat, holding the Ascension Championship over your head.”
“It’s kind of fascinating, human determination. That instinctual will to fight, to go against the grain no matter what horrific odds lay before you to bring you down. When this week started, I was erratic. My thoughts were all over the place. Ranting and raving. And when it came to this match, I was only focusing on taking everything you have done to try and destroy my relationship, my stability, my life and returning it tenfold. And as the week has progressed, my thoughts have returned. My mind, for all the hurt and the aching I’ve been through, my mind has managed to clear, to focus, to set sights on what I have to do. And yet, still the bloodlust remains. Still the desire to see your head sat on a silver platter once I’ve manually ripped it from your body. To not just beat you, but punish you for what you have done. You act as if I am bound to a hell that you control, that I belong here with you, alongside you as if we are two peas in a pod. But in reality, we are opposites, two sides of a coin. One of us battling for their own freedom and for revenge against an attack on that freedom. The other for the destruction of hope in others’ to validate their own miserable existence. There will never be some great alignment between us. But a permanent dichotomy, each of us a set antithesis to the other. You can embrace your hell, I’m building my heaven. Destiny. Fate. Any variation of some overarching machination that means predestination of where we are meant to be. I won’t buy into it. No. I have always believed that we have the power to control what’s around us. That what we do matters. And how we do it matters just as much. Because I’ve done many things in my time. And a lot of them would be considered criminal outside of the confines of the liability we take on as wrestlers. I stopped a long time ago from my rampant sessions of white rage where I would decimate person after person just to get back at my enemies. But never will I allow myself to remove the ability to flip that switch in my mind and laser in for the kill. To punish those who try to tear apart everything I strive for. To put an end to any who think it’s somehow their duty to teach me who they think I’m meant to be. I’ve seen all of it and heard all of it before. If after everything I’ve dealt with in life still hasn’t broken me then nothing perpetrated by you is going to stop me from picking myself back up and fighting forward, further and further through this life and finding the light on the other side of all the pain. I’ve felt the blissful rays of sunlight that exist at the end of this dark cave many times now. Always being sucked back in. But as I fight, I make it closer and closer each and every time. So I will press on. I will power through any pain or burden laid upon my shoulders and carry through to the other side no matter how many tries it takes me. And I’ll snuff out anyone who wants to take that away from me, anyone who wants to dictate what my life should be in their eyes just to fit their own sad perception of what this world may be because they lost the ability to see the light so long ago.”
“If you wanted to see the worst side of me, all you had to do was ask.”
“I can admit there were times I wanted to deny that this side of me existed. But this side of me, this willingness to leave someone lying in a pool of their own blood, it’s a part of me. It always has been. I’ve survived too much to not be willing to fight. I’ve owned that side of myself for so long. So as you listen to this, I want you to hear the calm in my voice. I want you to hear the steady breathing from my lungs as I have been speaking. And when the match starts, I want you to feel the brutality that I will rain down on you. The pain and suffering I will still cause with a smile. Because everything I want to do to you is not simply just some manner of momentary anger. No. You’ve earned everything I will do. You’ve earned the right to be pulled down into a burning inferno where you will be left to rot for all of time. A calm mind only tells me everything I want has moved from heat of the moment, to premeditated massacre. I am going to end you, the moment I get my hands on you? It’s fucking over. You struck last, I’m going to strike a final. This time around, you’ve gone and opened Pandora’s box. And now? I’ll drag you straight down to hell if it’s the last thing I do.”
“It’s time you let me go.”
“And if you can’t do that?”
“I’ll just have to make you.”
"Because you were my best friend and I will love you til the very, very end."