Post by Ratball Slade on Feb 13, 2022 21:21:55 GMT -5
The camera flickers on to the scene of a destroyed valentines mixer. Heart shaped decorations are strewn all around the walls and ceiling. There are broken tables with pink tablecloths draped over them as well as spilled punch and smashed cupcakes all over. Meatball is standing alone in the center of the mixer in his nicest black suit adorned with orange flames. In his hands he holds a bouquet of black roses. He turns to the camera as he drops his flowers into the spilled punch bowl.
MEATBALL: How could a guy like me ever find love in a place like this. The world ain’t ready to love a man, no, monster, like Meatball. These events make me sick.
Meatball spits on the ground. He shuffles through the mess he left on the ground to approach an unconscious man with his face buried deep into a cake. Meatball grabs him by the back of the collar and lifts him to his feet. He spins the unconscious man around and brushes his shoulder off with the back of his hand then straightens his tie, still holding him in place.
MEATBALL: You gotta make yourself look all nice and presentable like. Can’t be looking like this guy right here. No man or woman with any sense would want any of what this douchebag has to offer. What a mess.
Meatball takes his fingers and scoops some of the cake off the man’s face. He shoves his fingers in his mouth to taste the now soiled cake.
MEATBALL: Huh, not bad. Not quite rich enough for my taste though.
Meatball lets go of the man letting him crumple to the ground violently hitting the floor. Meatball continues to walk around without a care for his surroundings or what he steps on.
MEATBALL: You see, last time Meatball told you a little story about his first love. Well, that got me reminiscing. Cheryl is still out there somewhere. So I decided I was gonna find her. It looks like I was a tad late. You see, she hates this mushy shit as much as I do. I found out on her twitter that she was going to be here and well…
Meatball gestures to the scene around him.
MEATBALL: I think you can see as well as I can that she was here, so I’m going to find her. I’m sure she left a trail somewhere.
Meatball begins to walk around the venue looking for any evidence of Cheryl. This is when he notices movement in the corner of the room. He begins to creep over, not able to see what is making all the commotion. Suddenly, a rat pops over the tipped over table blocking his view causing him to stop.
RAT: *Squeak! Squeak!*
Meatball’s eyes follow the strange creature as it runs around the room. Suddenly Meatball notices the rat is wearing some form of white clothing. The rustling continues in the corner taking Meatball’s attention away from the rat. A head quickly pops up into view from over the table. A small man with face paint and cake all over his face comes into view of the camera.
RATMAN: You were right, Papercut! There’s uneaten food everywhere here! What a great idea! It’s too bad I scared that pretty lady away. She was awful mean to everyone though… Oh! Hello there, stranger! You look familiar, have I seen you somewhere before?
Meatball tilts his head looking at the scrawny man.
MEATBALL: You say you saw a pretty lady here? Mean type? Where did she go?
RATMAN: Oh I don’t know, she slapped me after I got too close to her when I was trying to introduce myself, then pinched her nose and ran out the door. All I wanted was to make new friends. Who knew places like this were a bad idea for that kinda thing. At least there’s all sorts of food.
Ratman goes back to stuffing his face with whatever is on the ground beneath him. Meatball shrugs and begins to walk towards the door with the camera following behind.
MEATBALL: You Proving Ground people are weird.
Ratman tips his head up into view one more time.
RATMAN: Thank you!
Ratman goes back to eating once more. Meatball shrugs and walks out the door. The camera slowly follows as Meat ball begins to look around.The door leads to an open street of a small town. In front of them is a town square with small businesses all around it. Meatball begins to walk around toward a bar he sees on the opposite side.
MEATBALL: If she’s anywhere, she’ll be at a bar.
They make the short trek across the small park and eventually make it into the bar. As they enter, a loud commotion can be heard in the back. That’s when a voice rang out that instantly grabbed Meatball’s attention.
CHERYL: That’s right bitch, drink it all up!
Meatball runs toward the back of the bar where a small group of people is gathered. He throws the patrons aside one by one as he brages through them. The camera is finally able to catch up and get a glimpse of what is happening. A woman is straddling a man dumping beer on his face, almost drowning him.
CHERYL: What?! You were in such a big hurry to get your damn beer, so here it is! NOW DRINK UP!
She continues to dumb beer all over him while Meatball reaches forward to grab her shoulder.
MEATBALL: Cheryl…
CHERYL: What now, can’t you see I’m already helping someo… oh…
Cheryl drops the beer smashing the man's face in the process as she stands up to greet Meatball.
CHERYL: John! I didn’t expect to see you here.
MEATBALL: That’s not my name. It’s me, Meatball.
CHERYL: Right, uhm… still doing that, huh?
MEATBALL: Yep.
The two awkwardly stand there, Meatball surprisingly having nothing to say for once.
BOTH: Well it was nice catching up! Jinx! Jinx again!
The two chuckle before shyly stepping away from one another.
MEATBALL: I’ll see you around Cheryl. Let’s visit sometime.
CHERYL: Yeah, that’d be great.
Meatball makes his way out of the bar looking happy and confident all the way until the bar door is closed. Suddenly dread begins to set in his brain.
MEATBALL: Oh god, what have I done? I hate that woman with a burning passion! What is wrong with me? Big Bad Meatball? More like Big Dumb Meatball.
Meatball begins to pout on a bench just outside when a familiar face takes a seat next to him.
RATMAN: Oh I can tell, you caught the bug didn’t you?
Meatball turns his head over to look at the cake covered Ratman. Ratman rests an arm on Meatball’s shoulder to talk to him.
RATMAN: You see, you’re in love my friend! So, how did this lady steal your heart?
Meatball pauses for a moment while he thinks through what is happening.
MEATBALL: You know what she did? She stamped right on my damn heart? She cheated on me with my men and yet, I still get this feeling around her.
Meatball begins to get teary eyed.
MEATBALL: Maybe it’s true. The Big Bad Meatball is in love. Maybe I finally found my purpose in life. My reason for being. Is that love? To give up everything for that one thing?
RATMAN: There there, bring it in.
Ratman goes in for a hug but is promptly shoved away by Meatball.
MEATBALL: What? No, get off me you freak. I’m the Big Bad Meatball, and I don’t do that corny bullshit. You know what? FUCK LOVE!
Meatball stands up and faces the camera.
MEATBALL: What am I doing? I don’t need these shitty feelings! I’m the Big Bad Meatball. Fuck Cheryl and fuck love. You know what I want more than anything? I want to cause some goddamn suffering.
Meatball points at the camera as Ratman slinks away into the shadows and out of sight.
MEATBALL: Law! You know what I’m gonna do with these disgusting feelings? I’m gonna take em all out on you. I’ve broken the Law once already so I guess it’s time for round two. You don’t wanna fight a Meatball in love cause this Meatball doesn't even want to be in love.
Meatball approaches the camera as the bar goes walk over to the windows to see what the large man is yelling about.
MEATBALL: I can’t stand love, I hate it even. This gooey feeling, it’s sickening. Makes me want to barf. As a matter of fact, it makes me want to commit some treachery. Maybe a little light vandalism.
Meatball leans over and picks up a large piece of concrete that had broken off the pavement. He turns toward the bar and throws it through the window covering the patrons standing by to get covered in glass.
MEATBALL: That’s right bitch! I haven’t forgotten what you did!
Meatball turns back to the camera to finish addressing Law.
MEATBALL: That’s right, still breaking laws for fun. This ain't gonna end pretty for you Law boy. This is the Main Event Meatball’s world and you’re just living in it. I haven’t lost yet and I’m certainly not gonna lose to a chump like you! When that bell rings it’s gonna be violence between the “sheets” if you catch my meaning. I’m gonna fuck you… up. There ain't gonna be nothing left but a stain when I’m done with your ass. All I can say is that by signing up for the rematch of your life, all you did was sign a death certificate. Time and date, February 15th, 8 PM.
Meatball stands up straight, towering over the camera now.
MEATBALL: You’re drowning in Meatball’s love sauce and there ain’t no finding your way out. Happy Valentine's bitch.
Meatball walks back across the park away from the camera toward his bike as the scene begins to fade to black. The Big Bad Incorporated logo comes onto the screen as the scene ends.
MEATBALL: How could a guy like me ever find love in a place like this. The world ain’t ready to love a man, no, monster, like Meatball. These events make me sick.
Meatball spits on the ground. He shuffles through the mess he left on the ground to approach an unconscious man with his face buried deep into a cake. Meatball grabs him by the back of the collar and lifts him to his feet. He spins the unconscious man around and brushes his shoulder off with the back of his hand then straightens his tie, still holding him in place.
MEATBALL: You gotta make yourself look all nice and presentable like. Can’t be looking like this guy right here. No man or woman with any sense would want any of what this douchebag has to offer. What a mess.
Meatball takes his fingers and scoops some of the cake off the man’s face. He shoves his fingers in his mouth to taste the now soiled cake.
MEATBALL: Huh, not bad. Not quite rich enough for my taste though.
Meatball lets go of the man letting him crumple to the ground violently hitting the floor. Meatball continues to walk around without a care for his surroundings or what he steps on.
MEATBALL: You see, last time Meatball told you a little story about his first love. Well, that got me reminiscing. Cheryl is still out there somewhere. So I decided I was gonna find her. It looks like I was a tad late. You see, she hates this mushy shit as much as I do. I found out on her twitter that she was going to be here and well…
Meatball gestures to the scene around him.
MEATBALL: I think you can see as well as I can that she was here, so I’m going to find her. I’m sure she left a trail somewhere.
Meatball begins to walk around the venue looking for any evidence of Cheryl. This is when he notices movement in the corner of the room. He begins to creep over, not able to see what is making all the commotion. Suddenly, a rat pops over the tipped over table blocking his view causing him to stop.
RAT: *Squeak! Squeak!*
Meatball’s eyes follow the strange creature as it runs around the room. Suddenly Meatball notices the rat is wearing some form of white clothing. The rustling continues in the corner taking Meatball’s attention away from the rat. A head quickly pops up into view from over the table. A small man with face paint and cake all over his face comes into view of the camera.
RATMAN: You were right, Papercut! There’s uneaten food everywhere here! What a great idea! It’s too bad I scared that pretty lady away. She was awful mean to everyone though… Oh! Hello there, stranger! You look familiar, have I seen you somewhere before?
Meatball tilts his head looking at the scrawny man.
MEATBALL: You say you saw a pretty lady here? Mean type? Where did she go?
RATMAN: Oh I don’t know, she slapped me after I got too close to her when I was trying to introduce myself, then pinched her nose and ran out the door. All I wanted was to make new friends. Who knew places like this were a bad idea for that kinda thing. At least there’s all sorts of food.
Ratman goes back to stuffing his face with whatever is on the ground beneath him. Meatball shrugs and begins to walk towards the door with the camera following behind.
MEATBALL: You Proving Ground people are weird.
Ratman tips his head up into view one more time.
RATMAN: Thank you!
Ratman goes back to eating once more. Meatball shrugs and walks out the door. The camera slowly follows as Meat ball begins to look around.The door leads to an open street of a small town. In front of them is a town square with small businesses all around it. Meatball begins to walk around toward a bar he sees on the opposite side.
MEATBALL: If she’s anywhere, she’ll be at a bar.
They make the short trek across the small park and eventually make it into the bar. As they enter, a loud commotion can be heard in the back. That’s when a voice rang out that instantly grabbed Meatball’s attention.
CHERYL: That’s right bitch, drink it all up!
Meatball runs toward the back of the bar where a small group of people is gathered. He throws the patrons aside one by one as he brages through them. The camera is finally able to catch up and get a glimpse of what is happening. A woman is straddling a man dumping beer on his face, almost drowning him.
CHERYL: What?! You were in such a big hurry to get your damn beer, so here it is! NOW DRINK UP!
She continues to dumb beer all over him while Meatball reaches forward to grab her shoulder.
MEATBALL: Cheryl…
CHERYL: What now, can’t you see I’m already helping someo… oh…
Cheryl drops the beer smashing the man's face in the process as she stands up to greet Meatball.
CHERYL: John! I didn’t expect to see you here.
MEATBALL: That’s not my name. It’s me, Meatball.
CHERYL: Right, uhm… still doing that, huh?
MEATBALL: Yep.
The two awkwardly stand there, Meatball surprisingly having nothing to say for once.
BOTH: Well it was nice catching up! Jinx! Jinx again!
The two chuckle before shyly stepping away from one another.
MEATBALL: I’ll see you around Cheryl. Let’s visit sometime.
CHERYL: Yeah, that’d be great.
Meatball makes his way out of the bar looking happy and confident all the way until the bar door is closed. Suddenly dread begins to set in his brain.
MEATBALL: Oh god, what have I done? I hate that woman with a burning passion! What is wrong with me? Big Bad Meatball? More like Big Dumb Meatball.
Meatball begins to pout on a bench just outside when a familiar face takes a seat next to him.
RATMAN: Oh I can tell, you caught the bug didn’t you?
Meatball turns his head over to look at the cake covered Ratman. Ratman rests an arm on Meatball’s shoulder to talk to him.
RATMAN: You see, you’re in love my friend! So, how did this lady steal your heart?
Meatball pauses for a moment while he thinks through what is happening.
MEATBALL: You know what she did? She stamped right on my damn heart? She cheated on me with my men and yet, I still get this feeling around her.
Meatball begins to get teary eyed.
MEATBALL: Maybe it’s true. The Big Bad Meatball is in love. Maybe I finally found my purpose in life. My reason for being. Is that love? To give up everything for that one thing?
RATMAN: There there, bring it in.
Ratman goes in for a hug but is promptly shoved away by Meatball.
MEATBALL: What? No, get off me you freak. I’m the Big Bad Meatball, and I don’t do that corny bullshit. You know what? FUCK LOVE!
Meatball stands up and faces the camera.
MEATBALL: What am I doing? I don’t need these shitty feelings! I’m the Big Bad Meatball. Fuck Cheryl and fuck love. You know what I want more than anything? I want to cause some goddamn suffering.
Meatball points at the camera as Ratman slinks away into the shadows and out of sight.
MEATBALL: Law! You know what I’m gonna do with these disgusting feelings? I’m gonna take em all out on you. I’ve broken the Law once already so I guess it’s time for round two. You don’t wanna fight a Meatball in love cause this Meatball doesn't even want to be in love.
Meatball approaches the camera as the bar goes walk over to the windows to see what the large man is yelling about.
MEATBALL: I can’t stand love, I hate it even. This gooey feeling, it’s sickening. Makes me want to barf. As a matter of fact, it makes me want to commit some treachery. Maybe a little light vandalism.
Meatball leans over and picks up a large piece of concrete that had broken off the pavement. He turns toward the bar and throws it through the window covering the patrons standing by to get covered in glass.
MEATBALL: That’s right bitch! I haven’t forgotten what you did!
Meatball turns back to the camera to finish addressing Law.
MEATBALL: That’s right, still breaking laws for fun. This ain't gonna end pretty for you Law boy. This is the Main Event Meatball’s world and you’re just living in it. I haven’t lost yet and I’m certainly not gonna lose to a chump like you! When that bell rings it’s gonna be violence between the “sheets” if you catch my meaning. I’m gonna fuck you… up. There ain't gonna be nothing left but a stain when I’m done with your ass. All I can say is that by signing up for the rematch of your life, all you did was sign a death certificate. Time and date, February 15th, 8 PM.
Meatball stands up straight, towering over the camera now.
MEATBALL: You’re drowning in Meatball’s love sauce and there ain’t no finding your way out. Happy Valentine's bitch.
Meatball walks back across the park away from the camera toward his bike as the scene begins to fade to black. The Big Bad Incorporated logo comes onto the screen as the scene ends.
