THE F'N EDGE: EPISODE 5 (SOUNDBYTE EDITION)

Following the show intro, we immediately go to the joint desk where James Edgebrook and Julius Foulweather are standing by for this week’s super-condensed F’n Edge! With only a handful of minutes to complete their broadcast due to an extended commercial highlighting Lil’ Petey’s retirement tour, the broadcast journalist and his batshit crazy co-host jump right into the first segment!



JAMES EDGEBROOK: Betsy Galagher joins Sonya Benson in the top spot this week, as both women are undefeated with a pair of 3 match winning streaks!



JULIUS FOULWEATHER: I like his last name. It reminds me of the timeless tale of a man and his sinister alter ego.



JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Luck was not with him on his trip to Fallout, but he still remains a dominant Warrior Rising Champion.



JAMES EDGEBROOK: A new Noble Champion? Who could have guessed? I wonder if he’ll be able to secure a title defense before someone else claims that hot potato?



JAMES EDGEBROOK: First ever Triple Crown Champion as he captured the Ascension Title! That’s very impressive considering all the shit that Arik Holt has put him through.



JULIUS FOULWEATHER: If I were a man prone to romantic notions, Billy Bennett would make a fine queen to my king. Just imagine how much fun we would have stabbing each other in the back.



JAMES EDGEBROOK: Tough break for the Legacy Champion on Fallout last week, but I think we all know better than to count The Butcher of Reine down for long.



JAMES EDGEBROOK: The Shining Star is one of the longest reigning champions in Project: Honor and continues to climb the charts. With the ups and downs their fellow champions have been having, how long will it be before they claim the top spot?



JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Her reign is off to a promising start with an impressive tag team victory, and she also took the time to call me out on Proving Ground. How vile and petty that was. I loved it.



JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Retaining the Prime Championship through any means in a match as dangerous as The Golden Rules Elimination was a huge accomplishment. It also didn’t hurt that Ozymandias failed to conquer him.



There’s no time for commercial breaks this week as our hosts move right along to their next segment!



JAMES EDGEBROOK: Lots of great stuff this week, but our elite panel of judges came back with top marks on these presentations.

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: As delicious as lamb’s blood. Give me more.




JAMES EDGEBROOK: Bye bye stanky belt, hello shiny new gold! I hope Jason takes better care of the new one than his predecessor did the old one.

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Maybe Levy, Giovanni, and Benson can give him some tips on what it means to have some class.




JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Nothing but rumor and innuendo. Next.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: What’s next for Emmanuelle may be a defense against the man she took the belt from. We haven’t seen the last of these two by any means.



JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Oh, Savannah. That was a work of art. I hope I see you create another bloody masterpiece in person this week.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Billy Bennett took out her own teammate and claimed his prize. Not unlike what she did to Slade Castle recently. And these are the kind of women you’re interested in?



JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Again, Savannah presents a masterclass in punishment. Only on this occasion she punished the fans, Jason Long, and anyone who actually thought they’d get married.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: While a little on the lighter side, Pat the Postman made a surprise cameo during the Special Delivery Match between Lexi Gold and Stella Jade! We need that man back on the full-time roster!



JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Mass carnage, bitter betrayals, new champions…what more could we have asked for in the highest rated match of the week?

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Oh, I don’t know. Maybe some classic tag team action where partners actually had to tag in and out of the ring?



JULIUS FOULWEATHER: What more can I say about Savannah Sunshine? This was her week and only the first of many more to come. It’s even more delicious to see poor Jason as her runner-up…

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Let’s be honest, Julius. Those two are going to kill each other and it’s all Arik Holt’s fault.


Don’t touch that dial and don’t run to the fridge! It’s on to James and Julius’ predictions for the final episodes of Fallout and Proving Ground before their joint Pay-Per-View…The Crowning!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: I admit, last week was not great for me. I’ve gone from twenty-seven correct predictions up to thirty-two.

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Amateur. I’ve collected an impressive thirty-seven correct predictions. Continue to watch and learn, James.







JAMES EDGEBROOK: Rapture!

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Boyde.




JAMES EDGEBROOK: Toyama!

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Agreed.




JAMES EDGEBROOK: Uh…why are you looking at me like that? I’m picking…Foulweather.

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Excellent choice. I concur.



JAMES EDGEBROOK: Elena DeDraca!

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: My fellow Motor City Psycho, Slade Castle.



JAMES EDGEBROOK: Havoc’s the most stable out of the four, right?

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Syndicate cries out for vengeance.



JAMES EDGEBROOK: Seriously…there’s no need to give me that look. I’m going with…Foulweather.

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: An excellent choice, James. However, I will gladly stand aside so that Savannah can continue her ascension.






JAMES EDGEBROOK: Mikey Hero with the debut win!

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: I will never choose a man with Hero in his name. Guy achieves victory because heroics are dumb.




JAMES EDGEBROOK: Greyfield!

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Agreed.




JAMES EDGEBROOK: Phantom Troupe!

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Poppycock. Minj and Ramsay.




JAMES EDGEBROOK: Poppycock? Seriously? Douglas Crane here.

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: His acceptance of his inner voices offends me. LeeAnn Morgan.



JAMES EDGEBROOK: Betsy is the new champ!

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: English retains, you plebeian.




JAMES EDGEBROOK: Hendrix and Gold get some revenge with Tara along for the ride!

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: No. The artistic movement has only just begun.




JAMES EDGEBROOK: Stella’s had it tough so far. Asakura for me!

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Of course. A toddler could have predicted that.




JAMES EDGEBROOK: Archie will find his motivation and surprise everyone with the upset!

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Don’t be ridiculous. Emmanuelle.




JAMES EDGEBROOK: In perhaps the biggest upset in Project: Honor history, The KaVengers win with the power of friendship!

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Friendship is a fallacy, and I refuse to pick either team.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: And that’s all the time we’ve got for this week! Stay tuned for a special 20-minute infomercial on the Lil’ Petey Retirement Tour! Goodnight, everyone!

JULIUS FOULWEATHER: Farewell, sheep.