Post by CallMeRobert on Jan 28, 2022 11:48:39 GMT -5
Black screen
MARSHALL GREENE V/O: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of ALL ages, cats, dogs, homies, hoeskies…let me be the first to welcome you to our show tonight. My name is Marshall Greene AND THIS IS PURSUIT…OF…THEEEEEEE…RIIIIIIING!!!
♫Ladies and Gentlemen, please
Would you bring your attention to me?♫
No longer a blank screen, our view is an aerial shot of North Brother Island in New York City, New York.
♫For a feast for your eyes to see,
An explosion of catastrophe.♫
The view moves down towards the buildings on the island. Some are the older buildings that have been there for decades, while others are freshly built sets to be used for the show.
♫Like nothing you’ve ever seen before,
Watch closely as I open this door.♫
The obvious drone begins to zip around the structures to be used for Episode three.
♫Your jaws will be on the floor,
After this you’ll be begging for more.♫
We zip around Paul Quinton, the Host of Pursuit Of The Ring, standing outside the entrance to the main building of the show.
♫Welcome to the show♫
He winks and points at the camera as it gets closer to him.
♫Please come inside♫
Paul pulls back and smacks the drone, causing it to begin spinning and the screen blacks out.
♫LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!♫
Suddenly we cut to clips from last show’s matches. We see a clip of Lena Soulas lifting Hated R up and tossing him over the ropes in the Main Event..
♫BOOM! (DO YOU WANT IT?)♫
Cut to show Hudson and Jakeem Kobra attacking each other in the Main Event..
♫BOOM! (DO YOU NEED IT?)♫
Next we see Chelsea Kennedy burying Tibbagu’s face into the mat with ‘Sparkles From The Sky’.
♫BOOM! (LET ME HEAR IT?)♫
Followed by a shot of Jasiah Andrew Scott spinning in the air before connecting with a ‘Freestylin’ to the side of Brunhilde Leichenberg’s head.
♫LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!♫
Trailed by The Cooler TJ Thompson sending Jobber Joe for a ride on the ‘Hip Train’.
♫BOOM! (DO YOU WANT IT?)♫
Then to Tibbagu hitting his first, second, third, fourth AND fifth homeruns.
♫BOOM! (DO YOU NEED IT?)♫
Interrupted by Jasiah Andrew Scott and Hudson crossing the Obstacle Course finish line at almost the same time. A polaroid of Jasiah crossing just a hair before Hudson, appears on the bottom right of the screen.
♫BOOM! (LET ME HEAR IT?)♫
Cooler TJ getting his fourth question right of the Music Trivia Challenge, while Kit Darling stands off to the side rolling her eyes.
♫LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!♫
Final shot has the words ‘A NEW PLAYER HAS JOINED THE GAME…’ running the full length across the top. We see Omar King standing in front of a green screen that is showing the Detroit, Michigan skyline. His appearance only lasts a few seconds before our screens cut to the Pursuit Of The Ring logo.
A new scene comes into view as we find ourselves on a three-quarter enclosed soundstage. The large ‘Pursuit Of The Ring’ logo display hangs on the background as we see a man walk onto the burnt orange empty set, dressed in a black pair of blue jeans and a black t-shirt with the words ‘The Crowning II’ across the chest and the words ‘Rage Quitting TWICE As Hard’ underneath it in smaller print. He walks onto the empty side of the room and flashes a big ol’ toothy grin.
PAUL QUINTON: Welcome everyone, to the THIRD episode of Project: Honor presents…Pursuit Of The Ring. We are a hair under a third of the way into the season! Just like the past two shows, we will place our entertainers-slash-contestants up against each other in three different challenges: A trivia challenge, a physical challenge, and a specialty challenge. The winner of each of these challenges will not only gain a point towards the final season standing…but gains an advantage later in the show, during the wrestling match portion of the show. At THAT time…everyone will be involved in a match of some sorts. The winners of the three earlier challenges will get to choose one person they would like to face one-on-one. The winner of those wrestling matches gets an additional two points, while the losers LOSE a point. As for the rest of the people who didn’t win a challenge and weren’t handpicked? Well they will face off in a large battle royal to see who gets that two point advantage AND who will receive that negative one point disadvantage. Rules starting to make sense to you?
Paul gives a thumb up to the camera.
PAUL QUINTON: Maybe you can explain them to me later.
Turning and walking to the right-side of the set, the camera follows Paul until he gets to his pedestal. The camera’s pan out and show all the contestants even FURTHER to the right of Paul.
PAUL QUINTON: Every show we will begin with a trivia challenge for all of our contestants. I will read off a question and then give the contestants time to write down an answer. The timer will go off, the contestants will reveal the answers, and the person with the most correct at the end of the round…will get to choose their opponent for their match later in the evening.
Paul flashes a smile as bright as any toothpaste commercial.
PAUL QUINTON: Hello my favorite little heathens. How are we doing today?
Jobber Joe opens his mouth to say something, but-
PAUL QUINTON: Nobody cares…let’s move onto our Trivia Challenge for this week. Our subject?
PAUL QUINTON: Question number uno! Which Game of Thrones star was nominated for an Emmy for every single season of the show?
Paul looks up and down the row of twelve contestants, watching as they all begin to write on their little white boards. The usual soft melody plays in the background for a bit, before a small bell sounds and everyone puts down their markers.
PAUL QUINTON: And time is up! Let’s see how many of you have watched TOO much television. Let me reask the question. Which Game of Thrones star was nominated for an Emmy for every single season of the show?
Slide on over to our usual first contestant, Tibbagu. But before he can reveal his answer, we cut to the back where we see him sitting in the interview room.
TIBBAGU: BY THE POWER OF THE ULTIMATE TIBA- FUCK! BY THE POWER OF WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING!?
BENJAMIN BROADWATER: I don't know, you were sounding a bit manic there.
TIBBAGU: Well what the fuck do I say, huh? I'm under stress a lot right now!
BENJAMIN BROADWATER: Calm down Tibaggu, if you don't wanna say anything, don't say anything.
TIBBAGU: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I've just been going through a hard time, I've had blue balls since Christmas and I don't know what I can do to put an end to this pain.
BENJAMIN BROADWATER: I think we're done for now, you can leave now and... hopefully take care of that.
The interview scene cuts back to the game show set, where we see Tibbagu standing at his pedestal.
PAUL QUINTON: Okay there, Blue Ball Group, what did you write down?
Tibbagu raises his board and shows that he has written down ‘Anikka Alrbite’.
PAUL QUINTON: Wait…who?
TIBBAGU: The girl who plays Daenerys Targeryn
*Buzzer*
PAUL QUINTON: That is the wrong answer and wrong actress. Emilia Clarke played Daenerys on Game of Thrones.
TIBBAGU: OH! See, I thought you said Game of Bones…you know…Game of Bones: Winter Is Cumming.
PAUL QUINTON: Um…no. I said Game of Thrones.
TIBBAGU: Hmm, never heard of it. Game of BONES on the other ha-
PAUL QUINTON: NEXT UP…
Tibbagu looks aggravated that he was interrupted, but the camera moves over to Jasiah Andrew Scott. With no backstage interview this week, we move straight to Scott holding up his white board that reads ‘Peter Dinklage’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: And that is the right answer! Peter was nominated for ‘Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series’ for all eight seasons of Game of Thrones. And not only was he nominated, but he WON the Emmy four of those eight years, including back to back years in twenty-eighteen and twenty-nineteen.
Cutting to the next contestant, we see Hudson standing there like the stick up his rear couldn’t be any straighter. Before we can see what he wrote…this time around, we view a clip of Hudson and Al Ian hanging out by a smoker. Al appears to be prepping a large slab of meat.
AL IAN: Hey everyone! Welcome to my backyard, where I am smoking these meats.
While it is the backyard of their quarters on North Brother Island, it is still pretty impressive.
HUDSON: What are we smoking today master?
AL IAN: Oh, well I'm making brisket. I was viewing clips of the show online and someone asked "do I smoke meats?" Well yeah I smoke meats. It's gonna be delicious.
HUDSON: Now that's what I'm talking about. Your meats are very good Master.
AL IAN: Say my name baby! You know I prefer to be more casual at the smoker. A. L. I. A. N. Or you know, just Al.
HUDSON: People want to know more about me but there isn't much to know, why don't you tell them about yourself... Al.
AL IAN: Well hello to everyone at home, thanks for letting me hang out with Hudson here in my backyard while I'm smokin' these meats. You know, the thing about smokin' meats is it takes a long time sitting around on the wifi. I like racing! Grilling meats, and um... racing cars are two of the most fun things you can do. Manual Transmission um... I enjoy that. I also hunt. No further comments on that. I'd rather talk about smoking these meats.
HUDSON: Um... master, are you doing okay?
AL IAN: Hmm... what? Yeah, no, I'm fine. You can smoke lemon chicken. Smoke salmon, you'll love it. Bison Sirloin, Ribs and Sausage are great too. I got some Pork ribs and a brisket right now. I'm telling you, you don't want to miss out on the brisket.
HUDSON: Okay master, I'm gonna go apply the Sweet Baby Rays, why don't you finish up.
AL IAN: Oh, you know I want my baby back, baby back ribs!
Al Ian nods from behind Hudson while Hudson remains focused on the camera showing how important this competition is for him. We cut back to the set to see Hudson lift his board to show he wrote ‘Kit Harrington’.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: Kit Harrington is incorrect. I’m sorry Hudson.
Hudson shakes his head as he starts to wipe off his board.
PAUL QUINTON: Now Kit did receive Emmy nominations for ‘Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series’ in twenty-sixteen, but both he and Dinklage lost out to Ben Mendelsogn from Bloodline. He also received an Emmy nomination for ‘Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series’ in twenty-nineteen, but he lost that to Billy Porter from Pose. Although, we all watched that final season of G-O-T…we all shouldn’t be surprised he lost.
We scoot on over to our next cast member, the ever-muscular Brunhilde Leichenberg.
BENJAMIN BROADWATER: Mmmm, how I’d to like to lick your ber-
Before Paul could finish his overly disgusting comment, the camera cuts to one of the larger rooms within the residence. It looks like it’s been set up as an entertainment room. Pool table, dart boards, even an arcade machine or two.
And most importantly: a karaoke machine. Because of course there’s one.
Who is singing, you might ask?
Why, it’s Brunhilde! Singing the Hasselhoff classic ‘Looking for Freedom’.
She’s - quite frankly - killing it. Shouting out the lyrics in a deep, booming voice that projects through the room without the need for a microphone.
Between words, she headbangs violently, long hair whipping around as she gestures and points to an imaginary audience.
BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR FREEDOM…
SINCE I LEFT MY HOMETOWN…
I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR FREEDOM…
STILL IT CAN’T BE FOUND!
The vocals finish, the music dies down, and Brunhilde takes a bow to the crowd that doesn't actually exist and would probably be pretty put off by the intensity of this performance if they were real.
Then, another voice snaps Brunhilde out of her fantasy. Her eyes narrow sharply, moving towards the entrance to this room. It's Hated R, standing propped against the doorframe, applauding whole-heartedly and even whistling a few times in appreciation. Seems he was a fan of the performance.
HATED R: DAAAAYYYYYUUUUUM girl, y’all got some PIPES on you. Hashtag Killin’ It, prayer hands emoji, blessed emoji, cena point emoji, exclamation point. Aaaaand...
Brunhilde squints at this weirdo, like she has no idea how to react to these nonsensical words. Good thing, too, because he wasn’t quite done yet; one last, very important word before the musician’s point is truly driven home.
HATED R: ...SEND.
BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: ...ACH DU LIEBE...
HATED R: Discord Nitro, baby. Gotta get those sweet, sweet PH emojis. Hashtag lil petey emoji, heart emoji, billy bennett emoji.
BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: ...PLEASE GO.
Cutting back to the sound stage, it is easy to see the embarrassment in Brunhilde’s cheeks.
HATED R: Yo…
The cameras pan over to Hated R, who is looking at his cell phone.
HATED R: …that video got thirty Elena cheesecake emojis, twenty-three Keanu emojis, fifteen pikasurprise emojis, and one DeMarco emoji. It was hashtag FIRE.
CHELSEA KENEDY: Who is DeMarco?
Paul shoots Chelsea a dirty look.
PAUL QUINTON: You CAN’T be serious?!?! Christian DeMarco, former General Manager of Fallout before that bald-headed dildo took control?
Chelsea shrugs her shoulders.
PAUL QUINTON: Get off my set.
CHELSEA KENEDY: Wait…what?
PAUL QUINTON: Let me put this in a way you can FULLY understand. Get your dirty little bitch ass, out of my motherfucking sight. CAPICHE?
Chelsea holds up her board to reveal she also wrote ‘Peter Dinklage’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: I don’t care what you wrote. That would be like you not knowing who Ed Wheeler or Callum Walker were.
CHELSEA KENEDY: Who?
PAUL QUINTON: Oh God, you sicken me.
Chelsea Kennedy tosses her board onto the ground and goes running at Paul, letting out a warrior’s yell as she charges…obviously sick and tired of how she has been treated on the show so far. But just as she gets to him and attempts to jump OVER his pedestal, two members of security catch her in mid air.
PAUL QUINTON: Thanks, boys. Please get this trash off my set for now. She needs a bit of a timeout.
The guards carry a kicking and screaming Chelsea off set as the camera goes back to Brunhilde.
PAUL QUINTON: Now that THAT distraction is out of the way. Let’s have a good rest of the challenge. Brunhilde, what did you write?
Brunhilde proudly holds up her white board to show she wrote ‘Peter Dinklage’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: CORRECT! So proud of you!
Brunhilde nods her head, not trying too boastful as her karaoke performance is still waiving heavy on her. We move over to Jakeem Kobra, who already has his board up and it reads ‘Peter Dinklage’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: TWO IN A ROW!!!
CHELSEA KENEDY (Off set): I HAD IT RIGHT TOO, YOU PRICK!!!
Swing over to Cooler TJ, who is smiling from ear to ear…only to switch to the backstage interview from earlier in the day.
BENJAMIN BROADWATER: Congratulations on your win last show. Now you move into a tie for first in the standings with Jasiah Andrew Scott. That was very impressive, but now I want to move away from the topic of the show. What’s different about this world compared to your own dimension?
COOLER TJ THOMPSON: That’s a great question. First of all, there’s only one of me. Quality over quantity and all that shit. Also, instead of Gerald the Giraffe, I have Ziggy the Zebra. I feel like they serve the same purpose, but who doesn’t love zebras?
BENJAMIN BROADWATER: Did you steal him from the zoo as well?
COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Stealing is a strong word! Let’s say I freed him from captivity. Now he does calculus.
BENJAMIN BROADWATER: Interesting…anything else?
COOLER TJ THOMPSON: A lot of details are just sliiiiiiightly different. Except Sauce’s mom. She’s still hot. I have a feeling that’s the same in every universe. In my world, Rock Johnson isn’t dead and became the President of Mexico after he was deported for tax fraud.
BENJAMIN BROADWATER: REALLY?!?
COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Yeah! I was shocked too. About the tax fraud. Not Mexico voting for him anyway. Also, Project Honor went to shit after they arrested Johnson and was absorbed by Wrestleworld. Dark times.
BENJAMIN BROADWATER: HUH?!? So what, you went back to them?
COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Nah. I’m a professional Fortnite player now! Living the dream, baby!
BENJAMIN BROADWATER: That’s…interesting. Looks like we’re all out of time, back to the competition!
We cut back to the sound stage where we see Paul shaking his head at TJ.
PAUL QUINTON: Fortnite? Did they have the Rock Johnson skin there too?
COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Nope, but I’m killer with that Vin Diesel skin.
PAUL QUINTON: Unless it's a Chronicles of Riddick skin, I don’t want it. What do you answer there, Ice-Ice-TJ?
TJ holds up his little white board to reveal he wrote ‘Peter Dinklage’...just…really small.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: We are on a roll! How about you, Ali G? Can you put your phone down long enough to show us the right answer?
Hated R nods his head, lifting his board with one hand to reveal he also wrote ‘Peter Dinklage’.
PAUL QUINTON: FOUR IN A ROW! Hot damn!
Somewhere off in the back, Chelsea is having a melt down.
PAUL QUINTON: What about you, Gollum?
The camera pans over and Jobber Joe is not at his pedestal. But we continue over one more and Joe is standing side by side with Lena, both of them holding up their boards to show that they BOTH wrote ‘Peter Dinklage’
*DING*
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: This combination confuses the HELL out of me, but I’ll allow it for now. It keeps those beady eyes from staring at me.
Our camera view moves once again to see Kit Darling leaning forward on her pedestal.
PAUL QUINTON: Hey there E.T…did you say the same thing?
Kit flips her board while annoyingly smacking her gum. It reads ‘Peter Dinklage’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: HOT DAMN!
The camera scrolls over to reveal the NEWEST member of Pursuit Of The Ring.
PAUL QUINTON: Welcome to our little shindig, Omar. Let’s hope you got the right answer and we can end this question on a high note.
Before Omar can reveal his answer, we cut to the back. But we cut right into an empty chair.
?: How dare ya disrespect me in this way!
The source of the shouting is soon known as “King of Murder City”, “Killshot” Omar King. On the receiving end of the shouting from Omar becomes clear too. It’s none other than Pursuit Of The Ring Interviewer Benjamin Broadwater.
BENJAMIN BROADWATER: Woah! That wasn’t the intentions Omar.
This just seems to offend Omar more at hearing Benjamin call him by his name.
OMAR KING: Ya didn’t just say that did ya? Nah. Ya gotta be trippin’ bruh. Don’t be callin’ me, Omar. To a peasant like you, it’s King or imma allow ya to call me His Majesty.
Standing there staring at Benjamin, Omar sucks his teeth at him clearly stopping himself from kicking Benjamin’s head off.
BENJAMIN BROADWATER: King it is then.
Benjamin just snips back before taking a step or two back much to the delight of Omar who responds with a cocky smirk.
OMAR KING: Ya disrespected me from the start Benji. Ya meant to send Aurora Biggs to interview me. Benji, ya about as appealing as the shit-stained underwear ya wear.
Just as Benjamin thinks that Omar is finished he goes to reply only for Omar King to raise his finger to his mouth and shush Benjamin.
OMAR KING: Shut up! Ya speak when addressed by me and not until then. Benji, ya better get outta my sight while imma feelin’ generous because when I shoot… I don’t miss!!!”
Omar stands there gesturing to Benjamin to leave who is happy to get as far away from Omar as he can. Once Benjamin was gone, Omar brushes himself down as he looks pretty fly in his suit.
OMAR KING: Right since ya can’t get shit right, imma do my own thing. Fuck Benji and fuck everyone else. I’m here in POTR to win and imma not about to let any of ya stop me doin’ that. If ya gotta problem with me, feel free to come and address me as His Majesty, bow down at my feet, and only then I might consider ya worthy of my attention. I got skills, I got talent, and I back up my words. I might be the new guy on the block but it ain’t gonna be long before imma be rulin’ this block. It doesn’t matter what imma have to do, imma do it, and imma show ya all that I truly am who I claim to be.
A noise stops Omar King in his tracks and “King of Murder City” is clearly unhappy about it as he sucks his teeth again and shakes his head.
OMAR KING: Not only is Benji Boy disrespectin’ me but some backstage lackey not even worthy of the shit that stains Beni Boy’s undies is tryin’ to disrespect me. Imma take care of ya later cause no one disrespects Omar King and gets away with it. Don’t get me wrong, imma always spit venom when it comes to my words cause it’s just what imma do. Doesn’t mean imma disrespect the people who deserve respect and earned it. Only I look around POTR and imma not seein’ anyone that is actually worthy of the respect. Ya look at Project Underground and I’d say maybe to a few at most. Then ya got Fallout and Proving Ground that have a lot of people in ya should respect. Imma seein’ a few people in all of those brands given the chance imma shoot at and definitely not miss. When imma finally step in the ring with them cause that’s what imma do eventually, imma show them that they’re not worthy of their spot. Right now though my focus is on POTR and the disrespect that imma receiving already. It better get sorted soon cause ya ain’t gonna like what the alternative is otherwise. I’m not in POTR to be second best or even to make friends. I’m here to rule and make ya release that my reign is greater than anything ya saw before. Don’t worry, by the final show of POTR imma be at the top lookin’ down on all of ya, ya dirty peasants.
Pausing for a moment, Omar King looks around him and just starts laughing. All those that were there are taking notice of him.
OMAR KING: That’s right. I see ya all back here hangin’ on my every word and can’t say I blame ya. What else ya got to look forward to? A clown who wants all the ladies. A kid who couldn’t hang in the big leagues in Project Honor. A female powerlifter that looks like she has crushed more Bratwurst than sucked. There’s also a Southern Belle who has no ding to her dong. A cooler TJ Thompson than the other, when in fact the dude is as cool as wearin’ crocs. A rapper who ain’t very dapper and belongs in the crapper. Even a damn butler who is better off fetchin’ me some Gatorade than gettin’ in my way. A mute snake charmer? Something to do with attendin’ the school of Arik Holt imma guessin’. A creepy lookin’ guy that goes wee, wee all the way home. Then there’s that girl who is always smilin’ even if ya was to run over her Hello Kitty. Then last but not least, ya got some pregnant lookin’ alien from Planet Blueberry who really ain’t no darlin’ imma tell ya that.
You can see Omar holding back the laughter as he looks at the camera as if to say “Do ya see what imma have to deal with here?” Before he finally does laugh before eventually meaning to compose himself.
OMAR KING: This shit is absolutely laughable. POTR has actually become watchable now because imma be on it. Ya all thought that Squid Games was a deadly game that only one person walks away from the winner. Well, ya ain’t seen anything yet. Ya haven’t seen the lengths that imma be willin’ to go to, to be sittin’ in my rightful place, in my throne at the top. Just remember that if you come at the king, you best not miss,
Now that “King of Murder City”, “Killshot” Omar King is done, he tosses the microphone up into the air and walks off down the hall to the sound of the microphone thudding onto the ground. We cut back to the sound stage where we instantly see Omar King giving Paul a dirty look.
OMAR KING: Ya lucky I’m feelin’ your vibe here, Paul. I don’t let anyone jus’ call me Omar. But this one time I’ll make an exception.
He flips over his board to reveal he ALSO wrote ‘Peter Dinklage’
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: And you’re lucky I get paid enough to deal with egos like yours.
The dirty look on Omar’s face quickly switches to a pissed off one.
PAUL QUINTON: And with that, everyone has a point except Hudson and ibbagu. Also, Chelsea Kennedy has been eliminated due to her complete and utter stupidity. Let’s try a second question, to see if any of you can start pulling away in our shortened five questions Challenge.
PAUL QUINTON: Question number two: On the Simpsons, who was Bart Simpson’s teacher?
The music plays softly as some instantly begin writing down an answer…while others have to visibly think for a moment.
PAUL QUINTON: Thankfully this isn’t asking what Bart’s middle name is. I doubt ANYONE would get that.
The music ends.
PAUL QUINTON: Okay. Can we do a run like we did last question? What do you have, Tibbagu?
Holding up his white board with a smile, we see Tibbagu has written down ‘Mrs. Fineapple’
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: It’s a fucking cartoon, Tibbs.
TIBBAGU: Yeah, but did you see the episode with her in where Bart falls for her? YUM!
PAUL QUINTON: Jesus Christ, you need laid. Anyway…Jasiah…what is your answer?
Jasiah flips his board around to show he wrote ‘Mrs. Krabappel’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: And Jasiah takes a quick lead with two right. Smithers?
Hudson flips his board around and it says ‘Mrs. Skinner’.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: I’m sorry, Hudson. Skinner was the principal. But you were close. What about you Brunhilde?
Brunhilde holds up her board and it says ‘Üter Zörker’.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: He…he was the exchange student from Germany.
BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: ONLY EPISODES SHOWN IN COUNTRY. ÜTER IS NATIONAL TREASURE!
PAUL QUINTON: Darling, he is a little porker with an obsession for sweets and occasionally wax.
BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: HILDE’S FIRST CRUSH!
PAUL QUINTON: And who is your crush now?
Before Brunhilde can answer, there is a loud tapping noise that echoes through the set. The camera moves over to see Jakeem Kobra hitting his board on the pedestal. Once everyone looks at him, he holds up his sign to reveal he wrote ‘Mrs. Krabappel’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: Let’s get another run going. MACHINE GUN TIME! Cooler TJ?
TJ holds up his sign to show ‘Mrs. Krabappel’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: Hated R?
‘Mrs. Krabappel’
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: Jobber Joe?
‘Mrs. Krabappel’
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: His unhealthy relationship friend, Lena?
‘Mrs. Krabappel’
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: Planet Lingonberry?
‘Mrs. Krabappel’
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: And what about you, Pretend Prince?
‘Mrs. Krabappel’
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: FUCK YEAH! Another seven-run to end the question! Let’s keep this energy going as we have an eight-way tie for first, while Brunhilde is only one behind…and both Tibbagu and Hudson still aren’t on the board!
PAUL QUINTON: Question number three: What was the name of the coffeehouse on F.R.I.E.N.D.S.?
Another pause as the melody sounds out. Writing. Clacking of boards being placed down. Melody ends.
PAUL QUINTON: Now just a forewarning for some of you. We are using elimination rules and with SO many people already with two right answers…if you miss this one and one of them GET this one right…you will be eliminated. SO, let’s see what you got there, Happy Slappy.
White board up and Tibbagu shows he wrote ‘Starbucks’.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: Will you just try?
TIBBAGU: Have you seen those baristas?
PAUL QUINTON: No more from you. You’re too busy writing your answers with your hard-on, then trying to think of an answer. What about you, Mr. Scott?
Camera’s move to Jasiah Andrew Scott, who holds up his board and it reads ‘Central pPerk’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: BACK on track. AND with that…Tibbagu, you have been eliminated!
TIBBAGU: Bummer. I guess I can go find Chelsea, though. She might have some anger to release though…
PAUL QUINTON: Hudson?
Hudson holds up his board and shows he wrote down ‘Café Fledermaus’.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: What?
Hudson puts his hand up towards Hudson and shakes his head.
PAUL QUINTON: No, don’t explain. Just go.
Hudson turns and walks off set, the light over his pedestal turning off.
PAUL QUINTON: Brunhilde?
Brunhilde holds up her board to show ‘Coffee Fellows’
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: What is Coffee Fellows?
BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: TOP COFFEE SHOP IN GERMANY.
PAUL QUINTON: I’m sorry my beautiful flower, but that is the wrong answer.
BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: BRUNHILDE NO FLOWER!
PAUL QUINTON: Fine, my delicious little mustard pretzel. Tough and tangy on the outside, soft and delicious on the insi-
COOLER TJ THOMPSON: HEY…
HATED R: …PAUL!
Paul turns his attention to both Cooler TJ Thompson and Hated R hold up their boards. Cooler TJ has written ‘Monk’s Cafe’ while Hated R wrote ‘Central Perk’.
*BUZZER*
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: Monk’s Cafe is on Seinfeld. So…Milli gets it wrong while Vanilli gets it right! What about you two?
The camera moves over to show Joe and Lena standing next to each other still, both holding up their boards to show they also both wrote ‘Central Perk’.
*DING*
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: Both correct. And somehow, Jobber Joe is a perfect three-for-three. BUT, so is Jasiah, Jakeem, Hated, Lena…and?
Paul moves his eyes over to Kit.
KIT DARLING: Yep.
Kit holds up her white board to show she too, wrote ‘Central Perk’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: And with that, the Klingon clings-on. Can we end this with ANOTHER perfect wave, Omar?
OMAR KING: King.
PAUL QUINTON: Yes, Omar King.
OMAR KING: No…ya’ call me King. Show me respect.
PAUL QUINTON: You see, Omar…I don’t have a King. More than a couple decades ago the ancestors of this country bitch-slapped the fuck out of the British so that I wouldn’t have to bow to a King ever again. So while some may cower to you and bend their knee…you are not my King and you never will be my King.
OMAR KING: Ya’ will call me King by the time this show is done. Bet.
Omar flips his board around to show he wrote ‘Central Perk’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: Correct! And with that, we have a seven-way tie for first, while Brunhilde and Cooler TJ are just one behind…with two questions to go.
PAUL QUINTON: Question four: The character Daria first appeared in which other animated series?
The soft melody fills the air, as does the sound of markers on white board. The caps click onto the marker, milliseconds before the melody ends.
PAUL QUINTON: First up, Mr. Jasiah Andrew Scott.
Jasiah flips his white board around to reveal he wrote ‘Beavis & Butthead’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: FOUR in a row for the Prince of Las Vegas.
Paul shoots Omar a side glance, before moving on.
PAUL QUINTON: Brunhilde?
Brunhilde lifts her board up to show she wrote ‘South Park’.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: I’m sorry, Brunhilde. But with that, you are eliminated.
BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: IT’S OKAY. I GO WORK OUT!
Brunhilde steps out from behind her pedestal and begins to walk away as Paul watches, before he quickly turns back to the contestants.
PAUL QUINTON: South Park came out in August of nineteen ninety-seven…while Daria actually came out in March of Ninety-Seven. But what was your answer, Jakeem?
Jakeem shakes his head as he holds up his board that reads ‘King Of The Hill’.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: While King Of The Hill DID come out before Daria…it was only by a couple months. What about you, TJ?
TJ spins his board around to show he wrote ‘Æon Flux’.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: While it was the correct television channel…it was the wrong show. And TJ, with only one question left and you are two behind…you are eliminated.
COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Damn.
PAUL QUINTON: How about you, Macklemore?
HATED R: I’z bummed homie is out, but blingy is all in baby!
Hated R shows his board and he wrote ‘Beavis & Butthead’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: Hated R having a Show One-type performance, so far with a four-for-four performance. Jasiah and Hated leading the pack here. But what about the odd couple?
Camera’s move over two spots to show Jobber Joe and Lena Soulas standing together. Jobber Joe turns white board over to show he wrote ‘Fritz The Cat’ while Lena wrote ‘Ren & Stimpy’.
*BUZZER*
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: Lena’s answer is decent, with Ren & Stimpy coming out in ninety-one. Red & Stimpy had that bit of edginess like Beavis & Butthead. But Joe…with Fritz the Cat? Why doesn’t it surprise me that you know about that movie? Either way…both wrong. Both of you are on the edge of elimination. So both of you should cross your fingers that Jasiah and Hated R get question five wrong, so you at least have a fighting chance. Moving on.
JOBBER JOE: But Pau-
PAUL QUINTON: MOVING….ON….
Everyone’s attention turns to Kit, whose loud gum smacking echoes through the set.
PAUL QUINTON: What about you, Princess Bubblegum?
Kit lazily turns her board over to reveal she wrote ‘Beavis & Butthead’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: And Kit Darling stays in the running!
Slowly we pan over to Omar King.
PAUL QUINTON: Killshot?
OMAR KING: I can respond to that. Glad ya’ wisin’ up.
Omar turns his board over to reveal he wrote ‘Beavis & Butthead’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: And JUST like that, we are moving onto our last question with a four-way tie for first place, between Jasiah Andrew Scott, Hated R, Kit Darling, and Omar King. Just one behind them is Jakeem Kobra, Jobber Joe, and Lena Soulas. So let's scoot on to our fifth and final question.
PAUL QUINTON: Question Five: What is Dorothy Zbornak's job on The Golden Girls?
The remaining seven contestants begin writing their answers as the soft melody plays through the set. Seconds pass and the melody ends, Paul quickly turning his attention to Jasiah.
PAUL QUINTON: Okay, Jasiah. Can you keep your perfect challenge going?
Jasiah turns his board around and reveals he wrote ‘Substitute Teacher’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: HOT damn.
JAS: My Granny and I used to watch it when I was younger. Good memories.
PAUL QUINTON: Well those good memories just CERTAINLY put you as a favorite to take this Challenge…AND…it eliminates Jakeem Kobra, Jobber Joe, and Lena Soulas. So I am sorry you three, but your time is up.
A full shot of all the contestants can be seen as those three lights click off and Kobra, Joe, and Soulas all walk off stage.
PAUL QUINTON: Okay, down to just four people left…with three to go. Hated R, me boi, watcha put?
Hated R turns his board around to show he wrote ‘lunch lady’.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: I am sorry, Hated. That is wrong and you are eliminated.
HATED R: Dick frown.
PAUL QUINTON: …wait…what?
Without explaining what he said, Hated R’s light turns off and he walks off set.
PAUL QUINTON: Um, okay. How about you, Darling?
KIT DARLING: Those are our girls!
Kit lifts her board to show she wrote ‘Substitute Teacher’.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: And that guarantees we are getting a tie-breaker question. Can Omar be a part of that?
Omar shakes his head, visibly pissed, revealing that he also wrote ‘lunch lady’.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: Oh, that is the wrong answer. Omar King, you have been eliminated.
The light above Omar goes out as he slinks off stage.
PAUL QUINTON: But now…with both Jasiah Andrew Scott and Kit Darling sporting a perfect five-for-five…we have to head for a tie-breaker.
PAUL QUINTON: Tie-breaker question: In the one-hundredth episode of The Office titled ‘Company Picnic’…What does Michael Scott eat for lunch that makes him fall asleep?
The final melody of the show echoes through the almost empty stage as Jasiah and Kit jot down their respective answers. Both of them put their boards down and cap their markers before the melody finally ends.
PAUL QUINTON: Okay, for all the marbles. I want you BOTH to raise your boards at the same time. In the one-hundredth episode of The Office titled ‘Company Picnic’…What does Michael Scott eat for lunch that makes him fall asleep?
Jasiah raises his board to reveal he wrote ‘Turkey’, while Kit reveals that she wrote ‘Family-sized chicken pot pie’.
*BUZZER*
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: AND KIT WINS THE TRIVIA CHALLENGE!!!
Jasiah’s head drops in disappointment as his light goes out. Meanwhile confetti rains down from the ceiling onto Kit Darling. We quickly cut to the interview room.
KIT DARLING: What. A. Challenge.
There's a beat of silence as the pregnant woman, now showing even more with a growing bump, took a seat in the chair. A gentle sigh spills from her lips as she gets comfortable.
KIT DARLING: Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Mama's gonna be eatin' good tonight. Isn't that right, kiddo?
Hand rests against the growing bump, still quite small, but noticeable.
KIT DARLING: Loads and loads of pasta it is!
Kit begins to rub her growing baby bump as we fade to a commercial.
AURORA BIGGS V/O: In a world full of constantly moving parts and pieces, it’s no wonder that sometimes we miss greatness when it stands before us. It’s no wonder we miss that shining star when it crashes at our feet. It’s no wonder that we don’t see the brightness of the sun, until it fades away.
Back from commercial and we find ourselves in front of a large channel that goes up hill. At the bottom of the hill is Paul Quinton, standing in front of a wall with the Pursuit Of The Ring logo on it.
PAUL QUINTON: I’d like to welcome you all back to Pursuit Of The Ring. Its time for our Physical Challenge, which is Takeshi’s Castle’s Avalanche. Making its first appearance in Nineteen-eighty-six, Avalanche…also known as ‘This Is Ball Run’...was seen ten times during Takeshi’s Castle .
As Paul continues to talk, a video comes up showing how this challenge was completed during Takeshi’s Castle.
PAUL QUINTON: So basically our contestants will start at the bottom and run UP hill, within the channel. Their objective is to avoid the boulders rolling down at them by dodging the small ones or slide into the gaps to avoid the larger ones. But be warned, there are guards in those gaps and their objective is to push you out into the line of boulder traffic. Make your way up to the fortress at the top and you survive. Get hit by a boulder and you are eliminated. If more than one person makes it to the top, then we will go by who made it there the fastest. If everyone is eliminated, we will go by who survived the longest. In the end, this person will be granted the Challenge point and have the opportunity to choose their opponent later on tonight! So…
Tibbagu steps up to Paul, a helmet barely covering his red costume hair.
PAUL QUINTON: Tibbagu, you’re always wanting to put your boulders in all the female’s faces…time to see if you can prevent a pair of boulders from mushroom stamping that makeup off YOUR face.
Tibbagu nods his head.
*HORN*
Tibbagu takes off running up the channel and instantly two back-to-back boulders begin to roll down. He stops short of the first gap and waits for the boulders to get closer. Just when they are feet away, he slips into the opening and waits. But the guard there starts pushing him, trying to push him into the oncoming boulders.
PAUL QUINTON: That guard is pushing like crazy, but Tibbagu is holding his ground.
The two boulders pass and Tibbagu slips out, running as fast as he can up the channel…but having to stop and jump over a smaller boulder that was rolled down. He looks up just in time to see a third big boulder come barreling down the channel and manages to slip into the second gap just in time.
PAUL QUINTON: Tibbagu almost getting distracted there.
Tibbagu bolts out of the gap and runs up the side, narrowly running around a few small boulders before the fourth big boulder starts its descent. Tibbagu jumps into the gap and the guard there attempts to push him out, but Tibbagu dodges it and the GUARD GOES FLYING OUT INTO THE CHANNELL…GETTING SLAMMED INTO BY THE LARGE FOAM BOULDER!!!
PAUL QUINTON: I did not see that coming!
With only one more gap before the top, Tibbagu takes off, hopping over an avalanche of four smaller boulders and having to CRAWL into the final gap to avoid getting smashed into by one of the larger boulders. The guard tries to push Tibbagu, but he holds on as a fifth boulder slides past the gap…giving Tibaggu an opening to jump out and finish his descent…hitting a button actuator that shoots a small shot of confetti at him.
*HORN*
PAUL QUINTON: And Tibbagu dominates the Avalanche, clocking in at a time of two-minutes and thirty-four seconds. Next up? Jasiah Andrew Scott.
Jasiah steps up to the entrance of the channel, staring up at the fortress on top of the whole obstacle.
*HORN*
JAS starts running up the channel, but his helmet isn't tight enough due to him not trying to smash down his hair. It slips down over his face and blocks his view, causing him not to see the incoming boulder.
PAUL QUINTON: Uh-oh…
Jasiah lifts his helmet just in time to get POPPED with the boulder. He hits the ground and the boulder continues to roll over him.
*HORN*
PAUL QUINTON: Jasiah Andrew Scott has been eliminated! So following that quick performance up, is Hudson.
Hudson steps up to the bottom of the channel. He straightens his collar and eyes the challenge in front of him.
*HORN*
With his eyes locked on the boulder that was released, Hudson takes off up the channel. The boulder comes closer and closer as Hudson manages to slip off into the first gap, delivering a shoulder block into the guard…pushing them up against the back of the gap and knocking them off balance just long enough for the boulder to pass.
PAUL QUINTON: I wonder if Hudson has any football experience.
Hudson takes off back into the channel and just manages to avoid a small boulder. A second big boulder AND a second small boulder come flying down at him and his eyes widen as he realizes he isn’t going to be able to get to the second gap. Instead he crouches down and squishes himself up to the left side of the channel.
PAUL QUINTON: What…
Hudon closes his eyes as the big boulder HITS the little boulder and launches itself OVER Hudson.
PAUL QUINTON: …HOLY SHIT!!!
Hudson stands back up as the small boulder passes on his right. Without stopping at the second gap, he runs up and slips off into the third gap. The guard takes a step back and throws his hands up, showing he is leaving Hudson alone. The Best Damn Butler turns and starts to watch a boulder just…about…to…pass…
PAUL QUINTON: THE GUARD PUSHED HUDSON FROM BEHIND!!!
The impending boulder slams into Hudson, knocking him to the ground.
*HORN*
PAUL QUINTON: Little sneaky action by the Avalanche Guard and Hudson is eliminated. And following his path…Brunhilde Leichenberg!
Brunhilde steps up to the bottom of the channel, Paul busy staring at her from behind.
*HORN*
She quickly runs up the channel and ducks into the gap upon seeing two large boulders come flowing down towards her. The guard tries to push her, but she grabs him, picks him up, and THROWS him into the oncoming boulders. They both bounce into him and fly off track as he falls backwards.
BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: BOULDERS LOOK FAKE!
Brunhilde steps out into the path as another boulder comes flying down towards her. But instead of trying to advance, she stands takes a step back with her right foot. THe boulder is just about to hit her…AND BRUNHILDE UNLEASHES WITH A HIT THE BREAKS THE BOULDER APART AND SENDS IT FLYING IN ALL DIRECTIONS!!!
PAUL QUINTON: NO!
Pieces of the boulder fly down into the waiting group of contestants, pelting Cooler TJ and Lena Soulas.
*HORN*
*HORN*
*HORN*
PAUL QUINTON: Brunhilde Leichenberg is eliminated…AND SO IS COOLER TJ AND LENA SOULAS!!!
COOLER TJ THOMPSON: THAT’S BULLSHIT!!!
PAUL QUINTON: Sorry TJ, it’s the judges ruling! The rules say you just have to be hit by a boulder, not that you have to be in the channel when it happens.
Cooler TJ and Lena slowly walk out of the group, intent on joining the other eliminated individuals.
HATED R: Shiz is whack, yo. Like the pitcher cheatin’ all over againz. Shawty quits in protest.
Hated R raises a fist into the air in solidarity with Cooler TJ, before turning and walking off to join him.
PAUL QUINTON: Sooooo…next up is Chelsea Kennedy!
Chelsea stands at the entrance to the channel, her face still red in anger.
*HORN*
Chelsea takes off running and manages to slip into the first gap as the first boulder flies by. She starts yelling at the guard to leave her alone.
PAUL QUINTON: Leave it to the foul-mouth one to berate our guards.
Quickly dashing out of the first gap and making her way to the second, Chelsea also begins to yell at this guard as a boulder rolls by.
PAUL QUINTON: How can someone be so rotten?
Spotting an opening, she turns and makes her way up the channel and to the THIRD gap. With her face still red with rage, she stares down the third guard.
PAUL QUINTON: Those people are just trying to earn a living.
A couple large boulders pass by and Chelsea takes the opportunity to run up and slide into the fourth and final gap. Without a word or a look, the guard holds his hands up and backs away from her.
PAUL QUINTON: And she is just being HORRIBLE to them!
With the boulder just passing by, Chelsea takes off and gets to the top of the channel..hitting the button and firing the confetti cannons.
*HORN*
PAUL QUINTON: And with that…Chelsea is our new front runner at one-minute and fifty-nine seconds! Eliminating Tibbagu. Following up her run? Jakeem Kobra
Kobra steps up to the opening of the channel, but has no helmet.
PAUL QUINTON: Are we letting him go without a helmet this time?
*HORN*
Jakeem takes off running up the channel.
PAUL QUINTON: I guess so.
Jakeem completely bypasses the first gap as a large boulder comes barreling down towards him.
PAUL QUINTON: No, Jakeem…you’re doing it wrong!
The boulder gets within feet of Jakeem…but Jakeem shows some athleticism, jumping up on the wall and pulling himself up onto the top of it…letting the boulder pass by as he continues to ascend on the tiny lip.
PAUL QUINTON: I stand corrected.
Jakeem hops down and almost lands on a small boulder, but runs past the second gap. He makes it to the third gap, before having to jump on the wall again. The boulder passes by, but this time the guard reaches up and pushes Jakeem’s feet out from under him and he falls down into the channel…just narrowly missing the boulder.
PAUL QUINTON: Oh, that’s going to leave a bruise.
Jakeem quickly hops to his feet and runs up the channel, ducking into the fourth gap with just centimeters to spare before the next boulder passes by.
PAUL QUINTON: It’s going to be close.
Kobra takes off running, dodging a few small boulders before getting to the top and hitting the actuator to activate the confetti cannons.
*HORN*
PAUL QUINTON: And with a time of two-minutes and twenty-five seconds, Jakeem completes the round but it's not quick enough to displace Chelsea! Following up that amazing performance, here is Jobber Joe.
Jobber Joe stands at the bottom of the channel…but instead of looking up at the fortress, he is turned around and is staring at Paul with a creepy smile.
*HORN*
PAUL QUINTON: So without your little friend Lena, you’re going to be creepy again?
Jobber Joe lifts his hand and wiggles his fingers at the host as if he was saying hi.
PAUL QUINTON: Turn around, numbskull!
Jobber Joe refuses to turn around and is instead SLAMMED into from behind by a boulder that sends him face first into the dirt.
*HORN*
PAUL QUINTON: Well deserved elimination. What about you, Kit? Are you participating?
KIT DARLING: Can’t…
Kit touches her stomach.
KIT DARLING: …baby.
PAUL QUINTON: Well then the final try at this, goes to Omar King.
Omar can be seen standing at the bottom of the channel.
*HORN*
King takes off running up the channel, narrowly jumping into the first gap to avoid a large boulder.
PAUL QUINTON: Let’s go, Omar. You only have a minute and fifty-nine seconds to get through to TIE Chelsea. And I don’t know about you viewers, but I don’t want to see Chelsea win!
Omar makes it to the second gap…but begins fighting with the guard inside. He gets pushed out JUST as the ball passes by, almost losing. But as Omar lays in the channel, yelling at the guard…three little boulders come flying down and slam into him.
*HORN*
PAUL QUINTON: SHIT! And with that…Omar is eliminated and Chelsea Kennedy wins this challenge! Stay tuned folks, we have a TASTY Specialty Challenge coming your way!!!
The camera shows Omar throwing the small boulders down the channel, before we fade to the interview room where we see Chelsea Kennedy sitting with her legs AND arms crossed.
Chelsea Kennedy: You think going up a little path and dodging things is supposed to be hard? It’s like walking around New York twenty-four seven. You are pushed into a small pathway and you constantly have to dodge knuckleheads who don’t know how to drive. But I’m sure Paul will find SOMETHING to put me down for the way I handled it…
And with that, we fade to commercial.
CORA FRYE V/O: Long day at work? Hungry, but you don’t know what to make? Let your favorite Uncle help you with that.
Coming back from the commercial break, we find ourselves on a third set. One large table and we see all of the contestants sitting on one side, facing the camera. Paul Quinton stands off to the left.
PAUL QUINTON: Welcome back to the fun! Earlier we saw Kit Darling with our Trivia Challenge and Chelsea Kennedy take home our Physical Challenge. Now? The baking is behind us, the homerun derby is in the past…this Speciality Challenge is going to see just who has the stomach for our type of madness.
Twelve stagehands walk in from the left side of the screen, each pushing a cart with a single cloche-covered tray on it.
PAUL QUINTON: So the rules of the Specialty Challenge are simple. A stagehand will wheel out an item and all you contestants have to do is eat it. If you do NOT eat it or you throw up…then you are eliminated. Simple as pie.
The stagehands place the cloche-covered tray on the table in front of each contestant.
PAUL QUINTON: So with that phrase in mind…let us start our Fear Factor-esque fine dining experience with…
The stagehands lift the cloches and the disgusted looks on everyone’s face is astounding.
PAUL QUINTON: …pizza pie. But not just ANY pizza pie. This one has a bile-extract crust, coagulated blood paste, moldy cheese, and live red worms for an extra bit of crunch. So with that being said…dig in!
*HORN*
Before anyone even touches the pizza, Brunhilde pushes the tray away, causing it to crash down onto the floor.
BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: NOPE…NOPE…BODY IS TEMPLE. BRUNHILDE NOT PUT BUGS IN HER MOUTH.
PAUL QUINTON: So then you are quitting the challenge?
BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: YES.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: Okay. Brunhilde, unfortunately you are eliminated.
Brunhilde pushes her chair back and immediately leaves the set.
PAUL QUINTON: Anyone else want to-
HATED R: Yo, dis be rancid. Homie out.
*BUZZER*
And with that, Hated R gets up and leaves the set as well.
PAUL QUINTON: Two down!
Jasiah is the first to go at it, taking large bites and pausing momentarily to swallow down a gag. Hudson can be seen taking a deep breath and begin to force down the slice, as does Lena. Jakeem Kobra takes a few bites, then suddenly lurches to the side throws up ALL OVER Cooler TJ.
COOLER TJ THOMPSON: DUDE! PARTY FOUL!!!
The Cooler TJ forces it down, but can’t stop himself as he turns around completely and vomits on the floor behind him.
*BUZZER*
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: What a shame. With that, Jakeem Kobra and Cooler TJ are ALSO eliminated.
OMAR KING: You know what? The King doesn’t eat food like this. Medium-rare steak, lobster tail…give me that all day. But I will NOT lower myself to eat this trash.
Omar stands up from his seat and grabs his tray, flipping it over and causing it to crash onto the floor in front of the table. With this grand gesture, he walks off the set.
*BUZZER*
KIT DARLING: Yeah, we don’t think this would be very…nutritious for the baby. We’ll have to pass…just not in the conniption fit way that the Tantrum King just did.
Kit lightly pushes her tray away slightly, before standing to her feet.
KIT DARLING: We won a challenge anyway. So we have some planning to do.
With that, Darling walks off set.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: Dropping like flies! Kit Darling and Omar King are eliminated as well! So before anyone even FINISHES the first delicacy of the Specialty Challenge…we already cut our contestants down to six!
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: And Jasiah finishes first.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: Followed by Hudson.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: AND NOW LENA!
*DING*
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: And Joe…AND TIBBA-
Before Paul can finish Tibbagu’s name, Tibbagu turns towards him and upchucks the pizza all over the ground. Narrowly missing him, Paul takes a step back.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: Oh, I’m sorry Tibbagu. You had to hold it down. You are eliminated.
Tibbagu slowly stands up, trying to hold in another round of rejected pizza. He walks around Paul and his pile of puke, making it off stage again before he can be heard retching.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: AND CHELSEA WITH THE IMPRESSIVE GOBBLE! She has made it to the next item as well! And that leaves us with just Jasiah, Hudson, Chelsea, Joe, and Lena. Some of you surprised me.
We quickly cut to our next scene, where all of the ‘accidents’ have been cleaned up and there are new cloche-covered trays in front of everyone.
PAUL QUINTON: Our second dish of the night comes with something additional.
The stagehands lift the cloches to reveal three wiggling tomato hornworms…
..with an egg next to it.
PAUL QUINTON: So, the idea is to eat the tomato hornworms. BUT the extra little bonus…once you are finished eating the hornworms, you can eat that egg for an additional point in the standings. Now you don’t have to eat that egg if you don’t want to, as not eating it won’t eliminate you. But…be warned…it’s not just an ordinary egg.
*HORN*
Jasiah quickly begins shoving the bugs in his mouth, while Jobber Joe begins to slurp them up like spaghetti.
PAUL QUINTON: Look at these peeps just GOING to town.
Chelsea takes a bite of one of them and the juices from it explode all over her plate.
CHELSEA KENEDY: Oh hell no.
Chelsea spits the rest of the bug out and stands to her feet.
CHELSEA KENEDY: I’ve already accomplished a lot by winning the Avalanche round…I’m bowing out.
PAUL QUINTON: So uncouth…bye Felicia.
Chelsea looks at Paul, the steaming almost visible as it shoots out of her ears. She storms off set.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: Chelsea Kennedy eliminated.
*DING*
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: And both Jasiah and Joe finish their worms. But…JOE IS GOING FOR THE EGG!!!
Jobber Joe peels the shell off to find out why it isn’t just an ordinary egg…
…its balut.
JAS: Fuck that! I’m good with just the worms.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: AND JOBBER JOE WOOFS DOWN THE BALUT!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: Followed by Lena finishing her plate of worms…AND BEGINS TO CRACK INTO THE BALUT!!!
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: God…I think I might be sick myself. Hudson finishes the worms, but pushes away the egg.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: AND LENA FINISHES THE EGG!!! So no matter what, Joe and Lena are getting an extra point. So with Joe, Lena, Jasiah, and Hudson still alive here…let’s move on!
Cut to a new scene where we see the table is smaller and the four remaining contestants sit next to each other. Four new cloche-covered trays have been brought out and placed in front of them.
PAUL QUINTON: And NEXT on the menu…
We see the stagehands lift the cloches up to reveal one item on the plate.
PAUL QUINTON: …buffalo balls!
Instantly Lena pushes her tray away.
LENA SOULAS: I’m fighting enough, to keep that balut down. Plus I’ve already got a point from that, so I think I’m going to bow out.
In order to support his friend, Jobber Joe pushes his away too.
JOBBER JOE: Me too.
Both Lena and Joe get up and walk off the set.
*BUZZER*
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: And just like that, we are down to two. Jobber Joe and Lena Soulas eliminate themselves.
*HORN*
HUDSON: Make that down to one, Mr. Quinton. I just don’t know if I have the stomach to do this one.
As Hudson pushes his tray away and stands to his feet, Jasiah begins to tear into the buffalo ball.
*BUZZER*
PAUL QUINTON: And there goes Jasiah’s last chance at competition here. Finish this and-
Before Paul can even finish his sentence, Jasiah shoves the rest of in his mouth, smacks the table, and lifts his hands into the air.
PAUL QUINTON: Swallow it and you win!
A few seconds pass by as everyone watches Jasiah chew, gag, then chew some more. Then with a hard swallow, he opens his mouth and reveals it is all gone.
*DING*
PAUL QUINTON: And just like that, Jasiah wins our Speciality Challenge! Good it ended here too. Our next food item was spiders.
Paul winks at Jasiah as Jasiah shutters. We cut to the back where we see Jasiah sitting in the interview chair. Before anything can be said, he gags, stands to his feet…then takes off running out of the room.
Fade to commercial.
MATTHEW KESSLER: When your nightlife is fading and that pretty little curly haired thing is looking your way…why not reach for a Rev and get yourself back out there!
Coming back from the last commercial break, we find ourselves in the familiar place of a large gymnasium. A ring is set up with Marshall Greene standing in the middle of it, microphone in hand.
MARSHALL GREENE: Ladies and gentlemen. Our first match-up of the night! Kit Darling has challenged Omar King…but due to her pregnancy, she can not fight in a normal match. SO THIS WILL BE A THUMB WAR CONTEST!!!
THUMB WAR MATCH
KIT DARLING (0-0-0) vs OMAR KING (0-0-0)
KIT DARLING (0-0-0) vs OMAR KING (0-0-0)
Both of them sit down in chairs placed in the middle of the ring and grabs each other’s right hand with their thumbs sticking up.
DING! DING! DING!
Kit quickly moves her thumb around, sticking out her tongue in the process. With Omar trying to find his spot, Kit brings her thumb down and pins Omar’s.
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
DING! DING! DING!
OMAR KING: Holy shit! The finger strength on this girl! Why the hell are your fingers so strong???
MARSHALL GREENE: And your winner by thumb pinfall…KIT DARLING!!!!!!
Another cut away…another empty ring.
MARSHALL GREENE: Next up…we have Chelsea Kennedy. She has challenged LENA SOULAS.
CHELSEA KENNEDY (1-1-0) vs LENA SOULAS (1-0-0)
DING! DING! DING!
All the aggression and anger that was inside Chelsea, let loose again as she bounced Lena back and forth all over the ring. Soulas tried to mount a comeback, but Kennedy was not having any of it as we all knew she was picturing Paul Quinton in the ring with her. Kennedy locked on the ‘Spark Out’ (Mute lock) and Lena was quick to tap.
DING! DING! DING!
MARSHALL GREENE: And your winner by submission…CHELSEA KENNEDY!!!!!!
Once again, we fade away to an empty ring.
MARSHALL GREENE: Next up…we have Jasiah Andrew Scott who has placed his challenge against THE COOLER TJ THOMPSON!!!
JASIAH ANDREW SCOTT (2-0-0) vs THE COOLER TJ THOMPSON (1-1-0)
DING! DING! DING!
This match was full of drip as both men gave it their all, knowing that the winner could be close to the top of the standings. Jasiah had gained control after a few acrobatic maneuvers, but a shoulder to the stomach knocked him off course and the food from earlier started to come back to haunt him. Fighting off the nausea, Jasiah ran to the corner, but The Cooler TJ took the opportunity to grab Jasiah, lift him up and drop him with the ‘Hip Train’ (Running Death Valley Driver)
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
DING! DING! DING!
MARSHALL GREENE: And your winner by pinfall…THE COOLER TJ THOMPSON!!!!!!
Final cut away..final empty ring.
MARSHALL GREENE: Our final match of the night is a battle royal between the individuals who did NOT win a challenge earlier and have NOT been challenged to a match.
TIBBAGU (1-1-0) vs HUDSON (0-2-0) vs BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG (1-1-0) vs JAKEEM KOBRA (1-1-0) vs HATED R (1-1-0) vs JOBBER JOE (0-2-0)
DING! DING! DING!
In the largest Battle Royal so far, Jobber Joe was the first to get tossed out. Followed by Hated R, Jakeem Kobra, then Hudson. With Brunhilde staring down Tibbagu, the clown held his hands out and smiled as Brunhilde grabbed him around the waist and picked him up in a bear hug. And with one suplex-motion, she tossed him over the ropes.
DING! DING! DING!
MARSHALL GREENE: And your winner by elimination…BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG!!!
As the crew in attendance cheered for Brunhilde and the German beauty celebrated in the ring, we cut to Paul Quinton, who was standing in the crowd of stagehands.
PAUL QUINTON: Week number three is in the books and what a show it was. In two weeks we will get to see how much knowledge everyone kept from the twenty-tens, how long they can keep from getting swept off their feet, and just HOW good is their hook. See you all on February eleventh. GOODNIGHT!!!
The camera pans out as the stagehand continues cheering around Paul, as he gets farther and farther away from the camera. Until it finally just fades out to the Project: Honor logo.
