Post by MYŌJIN on Jan 7, 2022 23:47:39 GMT -5
There was something so infectiously comforting of the warm lighting along with the sun setting outside, the sight of people chatting around and enjoying themselves as the festive mood still lingered on. Smiles, laughter, the pleasant smell of hot coffee and other drinks, last but not least- holiday-themed music still playing.
It often got somewhat cold, at least for a Californian like MYOJIN around December, and often stayed that way until at least March. San Diego never really snowed, which made the festive time feel a little strange given it was such a tropical, sunny place. Since their last match, successfully defending the X-Factor Championship against Kyle Valentine, MYOJIN's break from wrestling had been busy- first celebrating Christmas with their family, then two days later celebrating their sister's birthday, now soon enough preparing for a trip to Osaka to spend the upcoming end of the year with their family. But for now? It was time to just sit back and relax.
The year 2021 had been, to put it lightly, one of many ups and downs as the blonde reflected on it. They had remembered how badly it had begun for them. Losing the tag team championship tournament and soon enough after, losing a tag partner in Zane while on their own. After that when they had finally started getting back on track with a chance at becoming inaugural Legacy Champion… A rotator cuff injury from a fight against the same insufferable dickhead rendered them incapable of competing. It took so much time. So much blood, sweat, and tears shed (and perfect eyeliner ruined) the position they were in now. MYOJIN had failed many times in their attempts- starting to grow tired of the constant cycle of getting up just to fall back down…
And then it finally happened. Everything had turned out to be worth it. The X-Factor Championship had finally found its way into their grasp. Since then, they had done their absolute best to be a champion that fans, that hell- Indy Darling, could be proud of. Sometimes it weighed heavily on their mind, the need to be the best- But heavy was the head that wore the crown.
“Yo… Yo, Shouta. Hey, are you listening to me, dude?”
The blonde blinked, their brown eyes snapping back to attention as they turned to look toward who was standing over the table they sat- Caden Yung, one of their closest friends in Project: Honor who also happened to be the Assistant to the General Manager… and also suddenly their manager. The blue-haired young man held two cardboard cups in his hand with a little grin. “You daydream like a LOT at the weirdest times, you know that, right? Anyways, I got both of our drinks. Two Lattes.”
“Oh, thanks.” MYOJIN gave a smile before taking their drink as Caden went to sit down on the opposite side of the table. The relationship the two had was certainly an interesting one, initially starting as a rivalry as they had faced each other on the very first episode of Proving Ground- The two of them had grown to become close friends… and by close friends, more like Caden was enthusiastic and MYOJIN was very reluctant. The Shining Star at first had been very uninterested in the idea of Caden being their manager, considering it happened on the fly- and getting dragged into his problems was never amusing. But it turned out that they worked out better than originally expected. “I can't believe this year is almost over, all of it's been like a bit of a blur… What's going on in your head that has you all brooding and quiet today? That's not like you. Run out of hairspray or something? Himari took your favorite perfume?”
Caden constantly happened to think he was clever at jokes. He wasn't.
The only response he got was eyes rolling, “I mean, it's nothing really. Just thinking about the future. Like you just said- in a few days, we're going to be into another year- 2022… It just feels kind of crazy to think about. Everything that's happened this year… It kind of both feels like a blur and yet also like the longest time. Kind of hard to describe.” MYOJIN explained, taking a small sip from their coffee- though their tongue quickly recoiled from the lid once it was apparent how hot the drink was, they lightly blew on it before looking back toward Caden.
“Considering that I went from rehab for vaping and then the first thing that happens to me when I come back is nearly losing my job to some bozo- Yeah, I get that. It feels like Project: Honor gets weirder every week, especially now that Mr. Johnson's…” The assistant paused, faltering- both of them went quiet for the moment at the mention of Rock Johnson's, the man who founded the company, death.
“Anyways, it has to feel good, right? Ending the year as a champion?” Quickly changing the subject, Caden leaned back in his chair, lightly twirling a finger through his own hair.
“It does,” A smile appeared on the Shining Star's face. “It's everything that I've wanted ever since we both started here. Ever since that tournament, I always felt like there was a wrong that I needed to make right. Now I have finally had the chance to do just that and it's been great.”
“That tournament I beat you in, remember?” He spoke with a large grin. MYOJIN snorted, raising an eyebrow in response.
“You only beat me because of that asshole distracting me, plus you didn't even win it once you made it to the finals.”
“Still beat ya though. That makes us 1-1!”
MYOJIN couldn't hide their amusement as they began to laugh, Caden began to as well. It was nice, simply spending time with a friend and thinking of moments they shared. It wasn't often that the blonde found themself at ease like that, their mind always seemed to race ahead. They rested their cheek against their fist, “Can I be real with you for a second?”
“Yeah, what's up?” Their friend responded, his expression becoming more attentive.
“I'm …kind of nervous. About the upcoming show, Unbreakable Resolution. It's… hard to put into words as to why, but I've just been feeling anxious the closer it gets.”
“What, are you nervous to face that Casanova English guy? Come on, Shouta, you can definitely take him on.” Caden responded, but MYOJIN shook their head which brought a look of confusion on his face.
“It's not… him. I'm not scared of defending a championship against anyone. It's just… you know what happened at the last time I was at Unbreakable Resolution the year before last. Losing that tournament then fighting in a deathmatch that left permanent scars, physically… mentally.”
“Yeah, but you won that deathmatch.”
MYOJIN frowned, running a hand through their golden hair. “Caden… I may have won that match, but I wrestled twice in one night and lost something that was important to me, then went on to go fight the asshole that was tormenting me for months on end- I almost killed him, and I was covered in so much blood that I wasn't sure if it was his or my own. Just for my tag partner to go suddenly take care of him and they out of NOWHERE fall in love with each other…” They huffed somewhat bitterly with an incredulous look on their face, before their eyes lowered with a troubled look.
“I, um… I don't remember most of that fight. It became a blur, I guess I kind of blocked it out of my memory... But I do recall passing out, waking up in the hospital surrounded by friends and family who looked horrified… I remember barely being able to stand or much less move in general for a while; but the worst part? I felt like a fucking failure... It was the lowest point of my entire life-”
“And, what, you're scared of ever feeling that way again?” Caden asked, given by the look on his face, he felt empathetic toward their fear. It was more than likely something every wrestler, former or current, could relate to, wasn't it? MYOJIN slowly nodded with reluctance, almost out of shame for even admitting how they felt.
“I refuse to. That's why I can't lose, especially with the one thing that I've worked for on the line. 2020's Unbreakable Resolution almost made me want to quit at this, I can't let 2022's end in the same way.”
Silence passed between the two as MYOJIN took a deep breath, taking another sip from their coffee. Caden seemed to be thinking before he lightly shook his head, “You don't sound like a champion at all right now, you know that, right?”
“What?”
“I'm just saying- The way you're talking, you don't sound motivated like you should be,” Caden explained, raising his hands. MYOJIN gave him a confused glare.
“I just said that's why I can't lose-”
“Shouta, there's a difference between not wanting to lose and being afraid of losing. What happened back then sucked, I can't blame you for not wanting to go through that again. But I feel like from the way you're talking about all of that and how it's made you feel… It kind of seems like that has been the motivator, the thing that has been the reason why you've been going so hard… And, man, that's just not healthy- to have your fears be the thing that drives you. Sooner or later, that's going to eat you up inside, dude.”
Caden took a brief sip of his drink, “Even you have to admit that sometimes you push yourself too hard, you're a bit of a perfectionist.”
MYOJIN looked taken aback, “I am not!”
“You totally are! You're always trying to outdo yourself and push your limits- and it's respectable, you want to be the best version of yourself when it comes to wrestling... But have you ever considered that maybe you're too harsh on yourself? Maybe at some point, you have to realize that you don't need to ‘improve’ who you are. You, Shouta, are more than good enough. You have been one hell of a fighter since day one and for as cocky as you can be, you don't give yourself enough credit. You're not perfect, no one is- but a good part of life is… I guess learning to accept that it's okay not to be the greatest person alive at every single second. Because the harder you push yourself and the more you kick yourself while you're down? The easier it'll be for you to lose not just that title, but maybe... Everything you care about.”
They were stunned. Mouth hanging open as they tried to find a retort or something to say, but Caden… wasn't wrong, was he? They were raised to feel like they were never good enough, that they could only strive for perfection in order to be satisfied with themself. It was a bad mindset drilled into them that constantly ate away at them. Constantly blaming themself for past failures and anything less than their own expectations. Something that had become so normal for them, it was surprising that their friend saw it as an issue… But he was right. They had to grow out of that. So they paused, closing their lips- their shoulders rising as they took a small breath before giving their manager a faint smile. “When did you apparently get so wise? Maybe I should hire you as a therapist.”
Caden smiled in response, getting up from the table. He walked over to their side, placing a hand on their shoulder. “I learned a thing or two from when I was in rehab. Also, me as your therapist? No thanks, you have a lot of baggage I want nothing to do with… Seriously, though. Think about what I said, okay? I gotta go, see you later.” He let go of them before walking toward the door.
As he left, MYOJIN uttered some insult playfully toward him before looking away. They crossed their arms, turning to look to the window- seeing their own reflection for a few moments.
How does one who's lived their entire life being told who they are, be themself?
Here we are, lovelies! Officially in the new year.
Making almost two years of Project: Honor now, and I've been here through all of it. I've seen people come and go, I've made history and seen history being made. It's been one hell of a wild ride that hasn't stopped since it started, all of it has been such an emotional journey. The best thing about it? I start the new year off as the X-Factor Champion.
I'm at a high point, but it's not even my peak yet. I have had a lot of time to think while I was away spending time with my family, and the most constant thought on my mind was how I was going to spend 2022. What I was going to do differently, how I was going to improve- as a wrestler, but more importantly as a person.
Looking back, when I first became MYOJIN- I think that it was out of spite. I think that I was fighting two battles at once; fighting against the norms and toxic stereotypes of professional wrestling to prove that anyone like me was capable of accomplishing anything in this sport. I wanted to break barriers, I wanted to destroy and bring down the people that saw me as nothing but inferior just because of my identity- and I got addicted to doing that, it became a very often habit of my career when I started out. I got a rush out of knowing that I, the slim and delicate looking genderfluid kid, could put down anyone that got in my way… But there was also a part of me that was so desperate for approval, desperate to be seen and heard, always fighting against myself and in my own head trying to get to some unreachable new height. Maybe it was because of the way I was raised- being taught that failure was never an option and that it was a weakness, or maybe it was because I was used to being seen as a young genius when it came to combat sports- and the moment that I ran into obstacles that weren't so easy for me to overcome as they often were, I'd freeze- I wouldn't know what to do.
At the last Unbreakable Resolution, I ran into one of those kinds of obstacles. I lost, I lost in a way that I never had before- and it ate me up inside for the longest time. I grew bitter, doubled down on my arrogance, and whined about everything. I'll be the first person to admit that around time, I grew so entitled and felt like everything was a slight against me- I started to become my persona.
And you know something? That kind of fits the description of a lot of people in Project: Honor, but I honestly cannot think of a better example than Casanova English… Also, what the fuck kind of name is Casanova English anyways? Ah, sorry, I'm getting off track.
Thankfully, I matured. I had to in order to get this far. I know, it's unimaginable- A wrestler admitting their flaws and winding down their ego. Though it's just really unfortunate that not everyone seems to turn out the same way at this point in their career. Maybe I really am just a fast learner, hm?
Hi, Cass. I can call you Cass, right?
Actually, don't answer that. I couldn't give less of a shit.
Believe it or not, I have been paying close attention to you. Ever since you earned your shot at MY championship, you were a big dot on my radar, honey. I went back and rewatched plenty of your matches, I listened to plenty of your older promos. I have to give you your props, you have been on a roll ever since you stepped onto this brand. You even got the emo Myspace group of wannabe supervillains to accept you in their club, did they give you some Hot Topic merch?
All jokes aside, you are Warrior Rising Champion for a reason. You earned that belt, fair and square and you have been on a warpath ever since then. I have to respect that about you, despite maybe one slip up? You are undoubtedly probably the most notable newcomer of last year. People really do believe that you have a chance at beating me, and you know what? I can't blame them… Even if I know that they're wrong.
Unfortunately, that's just about the last thing that I respect about you.
Despite everything you claim to be, a bearer of truth, a messiah to wrestling- acting as like you're the most genuine, real person that has ever walked through these doors- I'm afraid I don't buy it. The more you talk, the more I and everyone else start noticing that you're just not everything that you keep saying that you are. You complain about defending your championship before our title match, claiming that management is just trying to hold you back- but before then, at the match at the Mall of America, weren't you also complaining about how you weren't defending your title and that you should defend it every show? You talk about your title defenses as if they're something amazing but sweetheart…
You beat Lil Petey. Congrats, I've done that multiple times before.
Oh, you also beat John Blade a few times! Wow, want a cookie, babe? I know that must have been so hard for you!
Acting like you're the greatest Warrior Rising Champion of all time when there have been no real threats to your throne, you get to play big fish in a small pond and perform self-fellatio while staying in a division that's, let's be honest, not much of a challenge for you- trying to tell everyone that you're some sort of saint that pro wrestling needs. But I don't know, hun, I'd say Proving Ground was doing pretty well before you.
And you know, I wouldn't have so much of a problem with that. After all, cookie-cutter wrestlers with egos like yours come by the dozen and at this point, I've just grown to accept that. The issue is, you think that since you've been playing on the easy mode that you've deluded yourself into thinking it's going to be the same when you're going against the final boss: me.
I've heard you talking like you already have my belt in your hands, how you're thinking about unifying championships, talking like you've already had my number. Cass, for someone who prides himself on being this intellectual combatant, you/ve already made the same mistake most wrestlers that I've made tap the fuck out throughout my entire career, in the squared circle or the octagon: You're underestimating me.
For someone who is so convinced that you're already one of the greatest to ever do it, everything you say and everything you do just comes off like every other bitchy manchild that demands to be treated with respect without doing anything to earn it- and while you act like you want to make these championships mean something. Be honest with yourself, babe, you just like the idea of being a double champion so you can have the bragging rights and feel good about yourself.
You're such an edgy tryhard that wants to seem like the coolest, but in reality, you're desperate for approval. It's cute, honestly. Trying to impress your True Society buddies, trying to make the fans see you as a man of the people. Acting like your group of Vikings, Goths, and whatever-the-fucks is some sort of cure to a nonexistent disease.
…Oh my God, a desperate tryhard? Ew! You're like the old me. …That explains a lot why I really don't like you. Was I really that insufferable? At least I had all the talent I needed to prove it.
I'm a true champion, you aren't- and the difference between us is crystal clear. You want to talk about making championships mean something? I've been restoring the X-Factor title to its former glory and going even higher than that, picking up where Indy Darling left off. Bringing the best out of my opponents, making Cadillac Jackson actually step his game up. Putting on a clinic with Kyle Valentine, one of the most prominent rookies here- maybe I can help push you toward actually being the wrestler that you claim you are.
But the biggest difference between us is that I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not.
I am the truest version of myself, no longer letting my insecurities define me or make me into someone that I'm not. I am the Shining Star, and you? You're not even just another chapter in my book, you're maybe a page or two.
Cassy-boy thinks he's going to make an example out of “wrestlers that the fans think are untouchable". News flash, bitch:
I'm not untouchable. I'm human, flesh and blood. Vulnerable.
And that's the best part, I'm going to bend one of your legs like a silly straw- and it's not going to be because of some corporate conspiracy against you designed to hold you back:
It's going to be because I am simply the better wrestler.
It was nighttime. Dots of speckled lights littering the Japanese skyline in the distance, reflecting in the calm water that trickled with mellow waves. The stars could even be seen from above. People in kimonos and other outfits walked around the little bridge. Lamps and other neon lights illuminate the street as people shared laughs and talked. It was a festival for the New Years' countdown in Osaka, and the clock was growing closer and closer toward 2022 as MYOJIN stood, dressed in a kimono next to their family.
Satoshi, their brother, holding his three-year-old daughter while standing next to his wife. Their mother, Megumi, along with their grandmother conversed with each other happily. Akira, their sister, chatting with their fiancee, Himari. Everyone was together. Everyone was happy, and that wasn't such an often thing. The blonde smiled at seeing their family together, happy and at peace, as they leaned against the bridge's railing- looking around. Enjoying the cold, but gentle fresh air and the sea breeze that came along with it. Closing their eyes, they took in a deep breath before taking a step back.
“(Shouta, come over here! There's only like twenty seconds left!)” Himari yelled, jumping and waving in their direction excitedly. MYOJIN quickly came over to the rest of their family.
"(Here it is, the last ten seconds of 2021! Everyone ready?)” Akira asked, looking around. Everyone collectively nodded before turning back to the sky- and then they all began counting.
“(Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three!”
“(...Two!)”
“(...One! HAPPY NEW YEARS!)”
And just like that, the dark sky was soon filled with vibrant greens, reds, blues, and other fantastic colors- along with the thunderous sound of fireworks exploding in the sky. The bright lights washed over everything as everyone on the street stopped to stare in awe. It was wonderful.
“(So, Shouta, what's your resolution going to be?)” Akira lightly elbowed them in the side, MYOJIN turned to them- about to speak.
"(That is if they're even going to follow through with it.)” Satoshi jeered.
MYOJIN paused, rolling their eyes- but they soon realized their entire family was looking toward them, curious for an answer. They placed a hand to their chin in the thought, before finally finding an answer.
"(I think… My new year's resolution that I'm going to be more honest; to everyone… and to myself.)”
It often got somewhat cold, at least for a Californian like MYOJIN around December, and often stayed that way until at least March. San Diego never really snowed, which made the festive time feel a little strange given it was such a tropical, sunny place. Since their last match, successfully defending the X-Factor Championship against Kyle Valentine, MYOJIN's break from wrestling had been busy- first celebrating Christmas with their family, then two days later celebrating their sister's birthday, now soon enough preparing for a trip to Osaka to spend the upcoming end of the year with their family. But for now? It was time to just sit back and relax.
The year 2021 had been, to put it lightly, one of many ups and downs as the blonde reflected on it. They had remembered how badly it had begun for them. Losing the tag team championship tournament and soon enough after, losing a tag partner in Zane while on their own. After that when they had finally started getting back on track with a chance at becoming inaugural Legacy Champion… A rotator cuff injury from a fight against the same insufferable dickhead rendered them incapable of competing. It took so much time. So much blood, sweat, and tears shed (and perfect eyeliner ruined) the position they were in now. MYOJIN had failed many times in their attempts- starting to grow tired of the constant cycle of getting up just to fall back down…
And then it finally happened. Everything had turned out to be worth it. The X-Factor Championship had finally found its way into their grasp. Since then, they had done their absolute best to be a champion that fans, that hell- Indy Darling, could be proud of. Sometimes it weighed heavily on their mind, the need to be the best- But heavy was the head that wore the crown.
“Yo… Yo, Shouta. Hey, are you listening to me, dude?”
The blonde blinked, their brown eyes snapping back to attention as they turned to look toward who was standing over the table they sat- Caden Yung, one of their closest friends in Project: Honor who also happened to be the Assistant to the General Manager… and also suddenly their manager. The blue-haired young man held two cardboard cups in his hand with a little grin. “You daydream like a LOT at the weirdest times, you know that, right? Anyways, I got both of our drinks. Two Lattes.”
“Oh, thanks.” MYOJIN gave a smile before taking their drink as Caden went to sit down on the opposite side of the table. The relationship the two had was certainly an interesting one, initially starting as a rivalry as they had faced each other on the very first episode of Proving Ground- The two of them had grown to become close friends… and by close friends, more like Caden was enthusiastic and MYOJIN was very reluctant. The Shining Star at first had been very uninterested in the idea of Caden being their manager, considering it happened on the fly- and getting dragged into his problems was never amusing. But it turned out that they worked out better than originally expected. “I can't believe this year is almost over, all of it's been like a bit of a blur… What's going on in your head that has you all brooding and quiet today? That's not like you. Run out of hairspray or something? Himari took your favorite perfume?”
Caden constantly happened to think he was clever at jokes. He wasn't.
The only response he got was eyes rolling, “I mean, it's nothing really. Just thinking about the future. Like you just said- in a few days, we're going to be into another year- 2022… It just feels kind of crazy to think about. Everything that's happened this year… It kind of both feels like a blur and yet also like the longest time. Kind of hard to describe.” MYOJIN explained, taking a small sip from their coffee- though their tongue quickly recoiled from the lid once it was apparent how hot the drink was, they lightly blew on it before looking back toward Caden.
“Considering that I went from rehab for vaping and then the first thing that happens to me when I come back is nearly losing my job to some bozo- Yeah, I get that. It feels like Project: Honor gets weirder every week, especially now that Mr. Johnson's…” The assistant paused, faltering- both of them went quiet for the moment at the mention of Rock Johnson's, the man who founded the company, death.
“Anyways, it has to feel good, right? Ending the year as a champion?” Quickly changing the subject, Caden leaned back in his chair, lightly twirling a finger through his own hair.
“It does,” A smile appeared on the Shining Star's face. “It's everything that I've wanted ever since we both started here. Ever since that tournament, I always felt like there was a wrong that I needed to make right. Now I have finally had the chance to do just that and it's been great.”
“That tournament I beat you in, remember?” He spoke with a large grin. MYOJIN snorted, raising an eyebrow in response.
“You only beat me because of that asshole distracting me, plus you didn't even win it once you made it to the finals.”
“Still beat ya though. That makes us 1-1!”
MYOJIN couldn't hide their amusement as they began to laugh, Caden began to as well. It was nice, simply spending time with a friend and thinking of moments they shared. It wasn't often that the blonde found themself at ease like that, their mind always seemed to race ahead. They rested their cheek against their fist, “Can I be real with you for a second?”
“Yeah, what's up?” Their friend responded, his expression becoming more attentive.
“I'm …kind of nervous. About the upcoming show, Unbreakable Resolution. It's… hard to put into words as to why, but I've just been feeling anxious the closer it gets.”
“What, are you nervous to face that Casanova English guy? Come on, Shouta, you can definitely take him on.” Caden responded, but MYOJIN shook their head which brought a look of confusion on his face.
“It's not… him. I'm not scared of defending a championship against anyone. It's just… you know what happened at the last time I was at Unbreakable Resolution the year before last. Losing that tournament then fighting in a deathmatch that left permanent scars, physically… mentally.”
“Yeah, but you won that deathmatch.”
MYOJIN frowned, running a hand through their golden hair. “Caden… I may have won that match, but I wrestled twice in one night and lost something that was important to me, then went on to go fight the asshole that was tormenting me for months on end- I almost killed him, and I was covered in so much blood that I wasn't sure if it was his or my own. Just for my tag partner to go suddenly take care of him and they out of NOWHERE fall in love with each other…” They huffed somewhat bitterly with an incredulous look on their face, before their eyes lowered with a troubled look.
“I, um… I don't remember most of that fight. It became a blur, I guess I kind of blocked it out of my memory... But I do recall passing out, waking up in the hospital surrounded by friends and family who looked horrified… I remember barely being able to stand or much less move in general for a while; but the worst part? I felt like a fucking failure... It was the lowest point of my entire life-”
“And, what, you're scared of ever feeling that way again?” Caden asked, given by the look on his face, he felt empathetic toward their fear. It was more than likely something every wrestler, former or current, could relate to, wasn't it? MYOJIN slowly nodded with reluctance, almost out of shame for even admitting how they felt.
“I refuse to. That's why I can't lose, especially with the one thing that I've worked for on the line. 2020's Unbreakable Resolution almost made me want to quit at this, I can't let 2022's end in the same way.”
Silence passed between the two as MYOJIN took a deep breath, taking another sip from their coffee. Caden seemed to be thinking before he lightly shook his head, “You don't sound like a champion at all right now, you know that, right?”
“What?”
“I'm just saying- The way you're talking, you don't sound motivated like you should be,” Caden explained, raising his hands. MYOJIN gave him a confused glare.
“I just said that's why I can't lose-”
“Shouta, there's a difference between not wanting to lose and being afraid of losing. What happened back then sucked, I can't blame you for not wanting to go through that again. But I feel like from the way you're talking about all of that and how it's made you feel… It kind of seems like that has been the motivator, the thing that has been the reason why you've been going so hard… And, man, that's just not healthy- to have your fears be the thing that drives you. Sooner or later, that's going to eat you up inside, dude.”
Caden took a brief sip of his drink, “Even you have to admit that sometimes you push yourself too hard, you're a bit of a perfectionist.”
MYOJIN looked taken aback, “I am not!”
“You totally are! You're always trying to outdo yourself and push your limits- and it's respectable, you want to be the best version of yourself when it comes to wrestling... But have you ever considered that maybe you're too harsh on yourself? Maybe at some point, you have to realize that you don't need to ‘improve’ who you are. You, Shouta, are more than good enough. You have been one hell of a fighter since day one and for as cocky as you can be, you don't give yourself enough credit. You're not perfect, no one is- but a good part of life is… I guess learning to accept that it's okay not to be the greatest person alive at every single second. Because the harder you push yourself and the more you kick yourself while you're down? The easier it'll be for you to lose not just that title, but maybe... Everything you care about.”
They were stunned. Mouth hanging open as they tried to find a retort or something to say, but Caden… wasn't wrong, was he? They were raised to feel like they were never good enough, that they could only strive for perfection in order to be satisfied with themself. It was a bad mindset drilled into them that constantly ate away at them. Constantly blaming themself for past failures and anything less than their own expectations. Something that had become so normal for them, it was surprising that their friend saw it as an issue… But he was right. They had to grow out of that. So they paused, closing their lips- their shoulders rising as they took a small breath before giving their manager a faint smile. “When did you apparently get so wise? Maybe I should hire you as a therapist.”
Caden smiled in response, getting up from the table. He walked over to their side, placing a hand on their shoulder. “I learned a thing or two from when I was in rehab. Also, me as your therapist? No thanks, you have a lot of baggage I want nothing to do with… Seriously, though. Think about what I said, okay? I gotta go, see you later.” He let go of them before walking toward the door.
As he left, MYOJIN uttered some insult playfully toward him before looking away. They crossed their arms, turning to look to the window- seeing their own reflection for a few moments.
How does one who's lived their entire life being told who they are, be themself?
Here we are, lovelies! Officially in the new year.
Making almost two years of Project: Honor now, and I've been here through all of it. I've seen people come and go, I've made history and seen history being made. It's been one hell of a wild ride that hasn't stopped since it started, all of it has been such an emotional journey. The best thing about it? I start the new year off as the X-Factor Champion.
I'm at a high point, but it's not even my peak yet. I have had a lot of time to think while I was away spending time with my family, and the most constant thought on my mind was how I was going to spend 2022. What I was going to do differently, how I was going to improve- as a wrestler, but more importantly as a person.
Looking back, when I first became MYOJIN- I think that it was out of spite. I think that I was fighting two battles at once; fighting against the norms and toxic stereotypes of professional wrestling to prove that anyone like me was capable of accomplishing anything in this sport. I wanted to break barriers, I wanted to destroy and bring down the people that saw me as nothing but inferior just because of my identity- and I got addicted to doing that, it became a very often habit of my career when I started out. I got a rush out of knowing that I, the slim and delicate looking genderfluid kid, could put down anyone that got in my way… But there was also a part of me that was so desperate for approval, desperate to be seen and heard, always fighting against myself and in my own head trying to get to some unreachable new height. Maybe it was because of the way I was raised- being taught that failure was never an option and that it was a weakness, or maybe it was because I was used to being seen as a young genius when it came to combat sports- and the moment that I ran into obstacles that weren't so easy for me to overcome as they often were, I'd freeze- I wouldn't know what to do.
At the last Unbreakable Resolution, I ran into one of those kinds of obstacles. I lost, I lost in a way that I never had before- and it ate me up inside for the longest time. I grew bitter, doubled down on my arrogance, and whined about everything. I'll be the first person to admit that around time, I grew so entitled and felt like everything was a slight against me- I started to become my persona.
And you know something? That kind of fits the description of a lot of people in Project: Honor, but I honestly cannot think of a better example than Casanova English… Also, what the fuck kind of name is Casanova English anyways? Ah, sorry, I'm getting off track.
Thankfully, I matured. I had to in order to get this far. I know, it's unimaginable- A wrestler admitting their flaws and winding down their ego. Though it's just really unfortunate that not everyone seems to turn out the same way at this point in their career. Maybe I really am just a fast learner, hm?
Hi, Cass. I can call you Cass, right?
Actually, don't answer that. I couldn't give less of a shit.
Believe it or not, I have been paying close attention to you. Ever since you earned your shot at MY championship, you were a big dot on my radar, honey. I went back and rewatched plenty of your matches, I listened to plenty of your older promos. I have to give you your props, you have been on a roll ever since you stepped onto this brand. You even got the emo Myspace group of wannabe supervillains to accept you in their club, did they give you some Hot Topic merch?
All jokes aside, you are Warrior Rising Champion for a reason. You earned that belt, fair and square and you have been on a warpath ever since then. I have to respect that about you, despite maybe one slip up? You are undoubtedly probably the most notable newcomer of last year. People really do believe that you have a chance at beating me, and you know what? I can't blame them… Even if I know that they're wrong.
Unfortunately, that's just about the last thing that I respect about you.
Despite everything you claim to be, a bearer of truth, a messiah to wrestling- acting as like you're the most genuine, real person that has ever walked through these doors- I'm afraid I don't buy it. The more you talk, the more I and everyone else start noticing that you're just not everything that you keep saying that you are. You complain about defending your championship before our title match, claiming that management is just trying to hold you back- but before then, at the match at the Mall of America, weren't you also complaining about how you weren't defending your title and that you should defend it every show? You talk about your title defenses as if they're something amazing but sweetheart…
You beat Lil Petey. Congrats, I've done that multiple times before.
Oh, you also beat John Blade a few times! Wow, want a cookie, babe? I know that must have been so hard for you!
Acting like you're the greatest Warrior Rising Champion of all time when there have been no real threats to your throne, you get to play big fish in a small pond and perform self-fellatio while staying in a division that's, let's be honest, not much of a challenge for you- trying to tell everyone that you're some sort of saint that pro wrestling needs. But I don't know, hun, I'd say Proving Ground was doing pretty well before you.
And you know, I wouldn't have so much of a problem with that. After all, cookie-cutter wrestlers with egos like yours come by the dozen and at this point, I've just grown to accept that. The issue is, you think that since you've been playing on the easy mode that you've deluded yourself into thinking it's going to be the same when you're going against the final boss: me.
I've heard you talking like you already have my belt in your hands, how you're thinking about unifying championships, talking like you've already had my number. Cass, for someone who prides himself on being this intellectual combatant, you/ve already made the same mistake most wrestlers that I've made tap the fuck out throughout my entire career, in the squared circle or the octagon: You're underestimating me.
For someone who is so convinced that you're already one of the greatest to ever do it, everything you say and everything you do just comes off like every other bitchy manchild that demands to be treated with respect without doing anything to earn it- and while you act like you want to make these championships mean something. Be honest with yourself, babe, you just like the idea of being a double champion so you can have the bragging rights and feel good about yourself.
You're such an edgy tryhard that wants to seem like the coolest, but in reality, you're desperate for approval. It's cute, honestly. Trying to impress your True Society buddies, trying to make the fans see you as a man of the people. Acting like your group of Vikings, Goths, and whatever-the-fucks is some sort of cure to a nonexistent disease.
…Oh my God, a desperate tryhard? Ew! You're like the old me. …That explains a lot why I really don't like you. Was I really that insufferable? At least I had all the talent I needed to prove it.
I'm a true champion, you aren't- and the difference between us is crystal clear. You want to talk about making championships mean something? I've been restoring the X-Factor title to its former glory and going even higher than that, picking up where Indy Darling left off. Bringing the best out of my opponents, making Cadillac Jackson actually step his game up. Putting on a clinic with Kyle Valentine, one of the most prominent rookies here- maybe I can help push you toward actually being the wrestler that you claim you are.
But the biggest difference between us is that I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not.
I am the truest version of myself, no longer letting my insecurities define me or make me into someone that I'm not. I am the Shining Star, and you? You're not even just another chapter in my book, you're maybe a page or two.
Cassy-boy thinks he's going to make an example out of “wrestlers that the fans think are untouchable". News flash, bitch:
I'm not untouchable. I'm human, flesh and blood. Vulnerable.
And that's the best part, I'm going to bend one of your legs like a silly straw- and it's not going to be because of some corporate conspiracy against you designed to hold you back:
It's going to be because I am simply the better wrestler.
It was nighttime. Dots of speckled lights littering the Japanese skyline in the distance, reflecting in the calm water that trickled with mellow waves. The stars could even be seen from above. People in kimonos and other outfits walked around the little bridge. Lamps and other neon lights illuminate the street as people shared laughs and talked. It was a festival for the New Years' countdown in Osaka, and the clock was growing closer and closer toward 2022 as MYOJIN stood, dressed in a kimono next to their family.
Satoshi, their brother, holding his three-year-old daughter while standing next to his wife. Their mother, Megumi, along with their grandmother conversed with each other happily. Akira, their sister, chatting with their fiancee, Himari. Everyone was together. Everyone was happy, and that wasn't such an often thing. The blonde smiled at seeing their family together, happy and at peace, as they leaned against the bridge's railing- looking around. Enjoying the cold, but gentle fresh air and the sea breeze that came along with it. Closing their eyes, they took in a deep breath before taking a step back.
“(Shouta, come over here! There's only like twenty seconds left!)” Himari yelled, jumping and waving in their direction excitedly. MYOJIN quickly came over to the rest of their family.
"(Here it is, the last ten seconds of 2021! Everyone ready?)” Akira asked, looking around. Everyone collectively nodded before turning back to the sky- and then they all began counting.
“(Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three!”
“(...Two!)”
“(...One! HAPPY NEW YEARS!)”
And just like that, the dark sky was soon filled with vibrant greens, reds, blues, and other fantastic colors- along with the thunderous sound of fireworks exploding in the sky. The bright lights washed over everything as everyone on the street stopped to stare in awe. It was wonderful.
“(So, Shouta, what's your resolution going to be?)” Akira lightly elbowed them in the side, MYOJIN turned to them- about to speak.
"(That is if they're even going to follow through with it.)” Satoshi jeered.
MYOJIN paused, rolling their eyes- but they soon realized their entire family was looking toward them, curious for an answer. They placed a hand to their chin in the thought, before finally finding an answer.
"(I think… My new year's resolution that I'm going to be more honest; to everyone… and to myself.)”