Post by Alyssa Grace on Jan 4, 2022 20:30:37 GMT -5
PATIENCE. - JANUARY 4TH 2022.
Frustration coursed through the veins of Alyssa Grace as she splashed her face with ice cold water, a small sigh slipped past her lips as she looked up into the mirror, not happy with the woman who was staring back at her. To say that things hadn’t been going according to plan would be an understatement and the disappointment that Alyssa felt was a foreign feeling.
It was also rather unnecessary.
“Pull your shit together.” She hissed, untying the tight ponytail her hair had previously been in and letting her fading orange locks loose. “This isn’t you, you know this isn’t you. You’re so much better than this.” Alyssa had a tendency to have unrealistically high expectations when it came to herself and her career, the rapidly successful start she’d had in other places played a part in her struggles to be patient and accept the downs as well as the ups.
Alyssa wasn’t really one to make large or serious New Year's Resolutions, to her the concept was nothing more than a silly tradition that most people felt obliged to take part in annually due to the fear of missing out. However, Alyssa did have one “resolution”, a singular plan in mind for the year of 2022 - to show the world who they’re dealing with.
It was a promise she had made to herself the day she signed with Project Honor, one that she had foolishly presumed would be easy to uphold, she didn’t particularly like doing so, but on the rare occasion where she found herself in the position to have to, Alyssa would always admit to being wrong. She might have been wrong about the calibre of talent that Fallout had to offer but she certainly wasn’t wrong when it came to her confidence in her own abilities, she knew she could hang with anyone the company threw at her and now she just had to open the eyes of the rest of the world so they could once again see what she saw in herself.
“Remember. Who. You. Are.” She spat out at herself, jabbing the bathroom mirror after every word she spewed, this wasn’t the time to be kind to herself, if those around her didn’t want to show her the tough love she clearly needed right now, she’d have to give it to herself.
No matter what it took, Alyssa Grace would not be leaving the next episode without a victory.
I’m going to become a champion at some point in 2022.
I don’t care how I do, which road I have to take, which ass or asses I have to beat or how it comes around, it will happen.
And the road to that begins now.
That’s it, I’m not going to do like so many others that want to start setting lofty goals which they never intend to follow through. This year I want to improve, ascend and become a Main Eventer in the top of the card here. We’ve all got our motivations, our reasons to compete in this industry, our “why’s” and my aspirations in Project Honor are rather materialistic, those who know me may be a little surprised at this but it is better to be honest and upfront about my desires and intentions. I could go on and on about my losses but it won’t change the fact that they are losses, it’s annoying but those moments have become my motivation. What would complaining do, what would bitching about things I can’t change say about me? I don’t fancy falling into the same trope many do, that isn’t me.
The Alyssa Grace you saw in 2021 isn’t me either.
So consider this me officially reintroducing myself to the Project:Honor universe.
And consider yourselves all fucked.
Frustration coursed through the veins of Alyssa Grace as she splashed her face with ice cold water, a small sigh slipped past her lips as she looked up into the mirror, not happy with the woman who was staring back at her. To say that things hadn’t been going according to plan would be an understatement and the disappointment that Alyssa felt was a foreign feeling.
It was also rather unnecessary.
“Pull your shit together.” She hissed, untying the tight ponytail her hair had previously been in and letting her fading orange locks loose. “This isn’t you, you know this isn’t you. You’re so much better than this.” Alyssa had a tendency to have unrealistically high expectations when it came to herself and her career, the rapidly successful start she’d had in other places played a part in her struggles to be patient and accept the downs as well as the ups.
Alyssa wasn’t really one to make large or serious New Year's Resolutions, to her the concept was nothing more than a silly tradition that most people felt obliged to take part in annually due to the fear of missing out. However, Alyssa did have one “resolution”, a singular plan in mind for the year of 2022 - to show the world who they’re dealing with.
It was a promise she had made to herself the day she signed with Project Honor, one that she had foolishly presumed would be easy to uphold, she didn’t particularly like doing so, but on the rare occasion where she found herself in the position to have to, Alyssa would always admit to being wrong. She might have been wrong about the calibre of talent that Fallout had to offer but she certainly wasn’t wrong when it came to her confidence in her own abilities, she knew she could hang with anyone the company threw at her and now she just had to open the eyes of the rest of the world so they could once again see what she saw in herself.
“Remember. Who. You. Are.” She spat out at herself, jabbing the bathroom mirror after every word she spewed, this wasn’t the time to be kind to herself, if those around her didn’t want to show her the tough love she clearly needed right now, she’d have to give it to herself.
No matter what it took, Alyssa Grace would not be leaving the next episode without a victory.
— — —
Do you want to know what sucks more than losing a regular match?
Losing two big opportunities in a row. First it was The Purge and then it was the noble championship opportunity. It feels like every time I get close to breaking the ceiling and capturing a championship and every time I aim to move forward in the right direction, a loss pushes me back further and further. This is not how I planned to start the New Year, this is not how I wanted to start the New Year so if I were to sit here and say that I’m not angry, frustrated and disappointed in myself, I would be lying. It sucks when you continuously work so hard just for your efforts to amount to little to nothing.
I’ve been told I have nothing to be ashamed of, that I should be proud of my efforts because as per usual I gave it my all and hey at least I wasn’t the one who ate the pin, and whilst I can appreciate the sentiment behind those statements, right now I am feeling nothing pleasant and I don’t wish to be told that I should be feeling any other way. I’m not going to sit here and say that Billy got lucky at Wired Consequences, that would put us all in a bad light. I don’t need to think or worry about the past because that is something I am unable to change, I need to think about and focus on myself and the future for those are things I have at least a degree of control over. These past few months have been a grind, I’ve learned that hard work doesn’t always pay off straight away which is frustrating beyond belief but I’m not about to stand here and let my past three losses get me down, I’m refusing to let my spirit shatter. I may not be the best at containing my emotions but god I am trying incredibly hard right now. I’m not exactly the biggest team player going, I can count the number of people I’m able to trust on one hand but sometimes you’ve just got to be professional, band together with like minded individuals and get shit done. On paper, the team of Alyssa Grace, Michael Bishop and Sawyer is deadly so just imagine how lethal we’re going to be in practice. 2021 wasn’t memorable in the way it should’ve been and whilst I have not been here for very long, it should be a well known fact that my run so far has absolutely not been any kind of indicative of my talent and the constant work that I have been putting in has not quite paid off yet. But now? Things are different, people say “new year, new me” for a reason, right? It may not seem like it right now but I do really enjoy being here on Fallout. This company has given me a platform, one where I can shine and I’m ready to fully take advantage of that, which is a thing I admittedly should’ve done a long time ago.
But, better late than never, right?
The past needs to be and stay where it is and I’m not going to let it throw me off my game and make me believe that I am incapable of reaching the highs expected of me. This month or so, these three annoying losses on my record are motivating me, they are fuelling the fire within me. I can and will pick myself up, I can and will dust myself off and I can and will leave what I've done in the past because in this world sometimes you have to learn from when adversity kicks you in the ass. Adversity builds character and let's say my adversity has not only made me see where I went wrong but it's also reassured me not to be the woman I once was but to be the woman I once was on a whole different level. It’s dawning on me that we do not live in a fantasy, people get knocked down, people get fired from their jobs or replaced because they weren't good enough. People and I mean ordinary people, not people who enter the wrestling business and pretend to be a god, or a king, whatever comic book or movie or TV shows these ass clowns get their personas from, they know that failure can happen no matter how high you get in life. The highs I’ve experienced have been great, and the lows have been crushing. People relate to that reality instead of living in a fantasy of working hard and then you live happily ever after bullshit. Happy endings in life are incredibly difficult to gain and life holds no exceptions, even if you are as talented as Alyssa Grace, the woman who has done multiple great things in the wonderfully wacky wrestling world. I've never once portrayed myself as the hero, the people chose me to be their hero, maybe because they were tired of seeing this fantasy bullshit and realized that I'm real, I'm as real as it gets in a business full of snakes and fake bastards.
As much as I feel like I need this victory (I cannot speak for my partners, perhaps they feel the same, perhaps they don’t), I look at our opposition and I realise that they probably need this more. I’d say it’s a shame they stand little to no chance but I stopped being the ground breaking victory of anyone’s career a long fucking time ago and through association, the same applies to Sawyer and Michael here. I have bled, bruised, been battered and beaten, been humiliated and embarrassed but one thing has never stopped me from picking myself up from rock bottom and carefully gluing the pieces of myself back together - my resiliency.
Victories, championships, credibility and nobility can be taken from me but the one thing that I possess which is far superior than anyone this company has to offer is my resiliency.
It is the time of year where people decide they want to do something new and refreshing and accomplish goals that maybe didn’t present themselves in 2021. Looking back at 2021, I’m not happy about it. It feels like there were more negative than positive moments for me and the few bright spots seem to be overshadowed by the low points. Now that I finish on a bad note which seems to be the norm these last few years, I have to wonder what is next? Well, here we go with my New Year’s Resolution…
Losing two big opportunities in a row. First it was The Purge and then it was the noble championship opportunity. It feels like every time I get close to breaking the ceiling and capturing a championship and every time I aim to move forward in the right direction, a loss pushes me back further and further. This is not how I planned to start the New Year, this is not how I wanted to start the New Year so if I were to sit here and say that I’m not angry, frustrated and disappointed in myself, I would be lying. It sucks when you continuously work so hard just for your efforts to amount to little to nothing.
I’ve been told I have nothing to be ashamed of, that I should be proud of my efforts because as per usual I gave it my all and hey at least I wasn’t the one who ate the pin, and whilst I can appreciate the sentiment behind those statements, right now I am feeling nothing pleasant and I don’t wish to be told that I should be feeling any other way. I’m not going to sit here and say that Billy got lucky at Wired Consequences, that would put us all in a bad light. I don’t need to think or worry about the past because that is something I am unable to change, I need to think about and focus on myself and the future for those are things I have at least a degree of control over. These past few months have been a grind, I’ve learned that hard work doesn’t always pay off straight away which is frustrating beyond belief but I’m not about to stand here and let my past three losses get me down, I’m refusing to let my spirit shatter. I may not be the best at containing my emotions but god I am trying incredibly hard right now. I’m not exactly the biggest team player going, I can count the number of people I’m able to trust on one hand but sometimes you’ve just got to be professional, band together with like minded individuals and get shit done. On paper, the team of Alyssa Grace, Michael Bishop and Sawyer is deadly so just imagine how lethal we’re going to be in practice. 2021 wasn’t memorable in the way it should’ve been and whilst I have not been here for very long, it should be a well known fact that my run so far has absolutely not been any kind of indicative of my talent and the constant work that I have been putting in has not quite paid off yet. But now? Things are different, people say “new year, new me” for a reason, right? It may not seem like it right now but I do really enjoy being here on Fallout. This company has given me a platform, one where I can shine and I’m ready to fully take advantage of that, which is a thing I admittedly should’ve done a long time ago.
But, better late than never, right?
The past needs to be and stay where it is and I’m not going to let it throw me off my game and make me believe that I am incapable of reaching the highs expected of me. This month or so, these three annoying losses on my record are motivating me, they are fuelling the fire within me. I can and will pick myself up, I can and will dust myself off and I can and will leave what I've done in the past because in this world sometimes you have to learn from when adversity kicks you in the ass. Adversity builds character and let's say my adversity has not only made me see where I went wrong but it's also reassured me not to be the woman I once was but to be the woman I once was on a whole different level. It’s dawning on me that we do not live in a fantasy, people get knocked down, people get fired from their jobs or replaced because they weren't good enough. People and I mean ordinary people, not people who enter the wrestling business and pretend to be a god, or a king, whatever comic book or movie or TV shows these ass clowns get their personas from, they know that failure can happen no matter how high you get in life. The highs I’ve experienced have been great, and the lows have been crushing. People relate to that reality instead of living in a fantasy of working hard and then you live happily ever after bullshit. Happy endings in life are incredibly difficult to gain and life holds no exceptions, even if you are as talented as Alyssa Grace, the woman who has done multiple great things in the wonderfully wacky wrestling world. I've never once portrayed myself as the hero, the people chose me to be their hero, maybe because they were tired of seeing this fantasy bullshit and realized that I'm real, I'm as real as it gets in a business full of snakes and fake bastards.
As much as I feel like I need this victory (I cannot speak for my partners, perhaps they feel the same, perhaps they don’t), I look at our opposition and I realise that they probably need this more. I’d say it’s a shame they stand little to no chance but I stopped being the ground breaking victory of anyone’s career a long fucking time ago and through association, the same applies to Sawyer and Michael here. I have bled, bruised, been battered and beaten, been humiliated and embarrassed but one thing has never stopped me from picking myself up from rock bottom and carefully gluing the pieces of myself back together - my resiliency.
Victories, championships, credibility and nobility can be taken from me but the one thing that I possess which is far superior than anyone this company has to offer is my resiliency.
It is the time of year where people decide they want to do something new and refreshing and accomplish goals that maybe didn’t present themselves in 2021. Looking back at 2021, I’m not happy about it. It feels like there were more negative than positive moments for me and the few bright spots seem to be overshadowed by the low points. Now that I finish on a bad note which seems to be the norm these last few years, I have to wonder what is next? Well, here we go with my New Year’s Resolution…
I’m going to become a champion at some point in 2022.
I don’t care how I do, which road I have to take, which ass or asses I have to beat or how it comes around, it will happen.
And the road to that begins now.
That’s it, I’m not going to do like so many others that want to start setting lofty goals which they never intend to follow through. This year I want to improve, ascend and become a Main Eventer in the top of the card here. We’ve all got our motivations, our reasons to compete in this industry, our “why’s” and my aspirations in Project Honor are rather materialistic, those who know me may be a little surprised at this but it is better to be honest and upfront about my desires and intentions. I could go on and on about my losses but it won’t change the fact that they are losses, it’s annoying but those moments have become my motivation. What would complaining do, what would bitching about things I can’t change say about me? I don’t fancy falling into the same trope many do, that isn’t me.
The Alyssa Grace you saw in 2021 isn’t me either.
So consider this me officially reintroducing myself to the Project:Honor universe.
And consider yourselves all fucked.