POTR I | December 31st, 2021 : Martha 'Blankenship' Stewart

Black screen

MARSHALL GREENE V/O: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of ALL ages. Let me be the first to welcome you to our show tonight. My name is Marshall Greene AND THIS IS PURSUIT…OF…THEEEEEEE…RIIIIIIING!!!



♫Ladies and Gentlemen, please
Would you bring your attention to me?♫

No longer a blank screen, our view is an aerial shot of North Brother Island in New York City, New York.

♫For a feast for your eyes to see,
An explosion of catastrophe.♫

The view moves down towards the buildings on the island. Some are the older buildings that have been there for decades, while others are freshly built sets to be used for the show.

♫Like nothing you’ve ever seen before,
Watch closely as I open this door.♫

The obvious drone begins to zip around the structures to be used for Episode one.

♫Your jaws will be on the floor,
After this you’ll be begging for more.♫

We zip around Paul Quinton, the Host of Pursuit Of The Ring, standing outside the entrance to the main building of the show.

♫Welcome to the show♫

He winks and points at the camera as it gets closer to him.

♫Please come inside♫

Paul pulls back and smacks the drone, causing it to begin spinning and the screen blacks out.

♫LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!♫

Suddenly we cut to the first of the Week One entertainers. We see a pre-recorded clip of Tibaggu crouching on the ground in front of a green screen, showing the Nakagusuku Castle Ruins of Okinawa, Japan.

♫BOOM! (DO YOU WANT IT?)♫

Cut to show Jasiah Andrew Scott pulling down his ball-cap in front of his own green screen, which depicted the beautifully lit Strip in Las Vegas, Nevada.

♫BOOM! (DO YOU NEED IT?)♫

Next we see Hudson standing with his arms crossed, in front of a green screen of the Palo Alto Tower Well in Palo Alto, California.

♫BOOM! (LET ME HEAR IT?)♫

Followed by a shot of Brunhilde Lechenberg giving a disgusted look at the camera, in front of a green screen image of the Cologne Cathedral in Cologne, Germany.

♫LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!♫

Trailed by Chelsea Kennedy smiling in front of an image of the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, Tennessee.

♫BOOM! (DO YOU WANT IT?)♫

Then to Jakeem Kobra rubbing his wrists menacingly while standing before a shot of the Siddhivinayak Temple in Mumbai, India.

♫BOOM! (DO YOU NEED IT?)♫

Interrupted by ‘The Cooler’ TJ Thompson as he stands in front of an image of the Hip House in Los Angeles, California…a confused look on his face.

♫BOOM! (LET ME HEAR IT?)♫

TJ’s shot is cut into, by one of Hated R with his arms out wide, the Hollywood sign in Hollywood, California behind him

♫LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!♫

Final shot is of Jobber Joe with his hands on his hips…nervously looking around…standing in front of a shot of the Eiffel Tower. His appearance only lasts a few seconds before our screens cut to the Pursuit Of The Ring logo.






A new scene comes into view as we find ourselves on a three-quarter enclosed soundstage. The large ‘Pursuit Of The Ring’ logo display hangs on the background as we see a man walk onto the burnt orange empty set, dressed in a black pair of slacks and a white dress shirt. He stops in the middle of the empty room and flashes a smile.

PAUL QUINTON: Welcome everyone, to the first episode of Project: Honor presents…Pursuit Of The Ring. Each show, we will place our entertainers-slash-contestants up against each other in three different challenges: A trivia challenge, a physical challenge, and a specialty challenge. The winner of each of these challenges will not only gain a point towards the final season standing…but gains an advantage later in the show, during the wrestling match portion of the show. At THAT time…everyone will be involved in a match of some sorts. The winners of the three earlier challenges will get to choose one person they would like to face one-on-one. The winner of those wrestling matches gets an additional two points, while the losers LOSE a point. As for the rest of the people who didn’t win a challenge and weren’t handpicked? Well they will face off in a large battle royal to see who gets that two point advantage AND who will receive that negative one point disadvantage. Confused yet, by these convoluted rules?

Paul winks at the camera.

PAUL QUINTON: I know I am! But blame Rock Johnson, he is the one who thought of this idea.

Paul’s eyes widen as he fakes being surprised as he places his hand over his opened wide mouth, a slight gasp escaping his lips.

PAUL QUINTON: Oops, can’t do that anymore…can we? So let’s just move forward with the show and try to follow along everybody!

Paul starts walking to the right as the camera pans over and we now see all nine of the current competitors standing at their own individual pedestals. He stops at his own large pedestal with the ‘Pursuit Of The Ring’ logo on it and flashes a smile to the camera.





PAUL QUINTON: Every show we will begin with a trivia challenge for all of our contestants. I will read off a question and then give the contestants time to write down an answer. The timer will go off, the contestants will reveal the answers, and the person with the most correct at the end of the round…will get to choose their opponent for their match later in the evening.

The charismatic host looks at the nine contestants.

PAUL QUINTON: Let’s get this show on the road, shall we? Our first ever trivia challenge for Pursuit Of The Ring is…






PAUL QUINTON: First question: Macaulay Culkin was paid one-million dollars - the first child star ever to do so - for what film?

Paul pauses as all of the nine contestants begin writing stuff down. A soft melody plays, so that the silence isn’t too awkward. After about ten seconds, a bell sounds and the music ends.

PAUL QUINTON: Alright, folks, time…is…up. Let’s see what kind of answers we get from this wonderful ragtag group of winners, shall we?

The camera’s shift over to the first pedestal, where we see a man dressed up like Ronald McDonald. Before he can show his answer, we cut to a clip from a backstage interview where we see this man sitting in a soft, velvet-looking orange chair, in front of a white wall with the Pursuit Of The Ring logo on it.

TIBBAGU: Hello, I'm Tibaggu. I'm twenty-four years old and I'm from Okinawa, Japan. People often ask me why I dress up as a clown and all I say is that I don't want to hide what I truly am, and this is what I am... a clown. I may be a clown but the babes love me, you know what they say? Chicks dig it big.

Tibbagu winks at the camera.

TIBBAGU: Most of my family is dead... I'm an only child, my dad died when I was six and my mom died three months ago. I didn't really talk a lot to my mom in her last months alive because she never really liked me since I'm apparently "disrespectful" towards women... whatever that means. I joined Pursuit of The Ring because I wanna show everyone, especially the babes that even a funny man stands a chance in today's society and I want to impress the babes in the audience.

The interview seat cuts back to the game show set, where we see Tibbagu standing at his pedestal.

PAUL QUINTON: So, Deadlights, show us your answer, please.

Tibbagu raises his board and shows that he has written down ‘The Good Son’.

PAUL QUINTON: The Good Son.

*Buzzer*

PAUL QUINTON: I’m sorry Sideshow Bob, but that is NOT correct. Next up…

Tibbagu hangs his head and puts his white board back down as the camera moves over to a young African-American male, with a multi-colored afro cut into the shape of a mohawk. The cimage then cuts to the same backstage interviewing area, this time with the young man.

JAS: My name is Jasiah Andrew Scott, I am twenty-one, and I’m originally from Denver, Colorado…although I now live in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Pause to let it sink in.

JAS: I signed up for Pursuit Of The Ring, not only because I live and breathe wrestling…but I want that ring. I want to be the first person to say I pursued the ring and I WON it. And then…

Jasiah pauses for a moment, looking at his wrist, then feeling around for his cell phone.

JAS: Wait…what time is it?

A male voice says something off screen, but it is inaudible. Jasiah’s eyes widen in terror.

JAS: SHIT! I’M LATE TO SET!!!

Jasiah rips off his microphone back, tossing it down as he stands to his feet and runs off. The scene then cuts back to the shot of the Trivia Challenge. Jasiah lifts his white board to reveal his answer.

PAUL QUINTON: And Jasiah, you answered…“My Girl”.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: That is correct! My Girl was a hit movie for Macauley Culkin, back in Nineteen-ninety-one. It had a budget of seventeen million and raked in a whopping one-hundred and twenty-one million total. Meanwhile the sequel did absolute dog-shit, pulling in only twenty-eight million dollars. So obviously she wasn’t ‘My Girl’ any longer. ANYWAY…next up…well hello there, big, buff, and beefy.

The camera pans over to the next contestant, a large muscular man dressed in a pair of slacks and dress shirt, similar to that of Paul himself. Before we can see his answer, we cut to a video from the interview room again. Hudson sit's in a brightly lit interview area with Al Ian standing behind him to his left.

HUDSON: I'm here at the behest of my mentor and Master, Sir Al Ian. I'm a man of intensity and passion. This competition is not something I had a personal interest in but I would do anything for Sir Ian.

AL IAN: Oh Hudson, lighten up a little bit! I'm doing this so you can have a bit of fun! I know you miss your days in the gym proving you could outlift all the rest, or even making better cakes than my previous personal chef.

Al Ian's expression barely changes as he speaks whether he sounds excited or is talking normally. He then begins to attempt to do what looks like a smile.

HUDSON: And I am eternally grateful for all the opportunities you give me.

AL IAN: Well if you won't talk yourself up I will. I'm Al Ian, you may know me as the CEO of Data for my famous app Peoplebook, or my foray into the AR market with the Optic. This here is Hudson. He is barely human. This man is a beast. He's strong, he can cook, he can fight. He basically single handedly took over every single one of my personal staff's positions.

HUDSON: Thank you sir. I will try my hardest to live up to your expectations.

AL IAN: Look at you trying to be humble.

HUDSON: I try.

AL IAN: This man has been through more than any of you know. He trains within all of his passions day-in, and day-out. He is driven to be the very best at everything he does. There is nothing I couldn't trust this man to do for me. Well, maybe a few things. He is the absolute best competitor in this competition. It's only a matter of time before everyone else knows it too. Why don't you close us out bud.

Hudson focuses on the camera now.

HUDSON: I look forward to meeting my competition. This will be the biggest challenge of my life, and I've faced a lot of challenges. If it weren't for this man I would probably still be living on the street. I owe this man a whole lot and if winning this competition gets me that much closer to repaying his generosity than I shall put all my heart into this competition.

Al Ian nods from behind Hudson while Hudson remains focused on the camera showing how important this competition is for him. We cut back to the set as Hudson holds up his white board, revealing what he wrote.

PAUL QUINTON: So Hudson, you wrote Richie Rich.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: I’m sorry, that is incorrect.

Hudson takes a deep breath and lets out a very audible sigh.

PAUL QUINTON: Richie Rich came out in Nineteen-ninety-four, the same girl as My Girl Two…which was followed up by a direct-to-sequel Richie Rich movie…so we all know how that went. Seems Macauley Culken has a habit of making an okay first movie…then following it up by what some refer to as a Savannah-Sunshine-Noble-Title-Run…also known as utter trash. But don’t worry, Hudson…you’ll get it during the next question. Next up…

The camera moves over to show a young lady who is short, but makes up for it in muscle. We cut to her interview clip from earlier. The scene opens in a typical reality show style confessional; the powerlifter known as Brunhilde Leichenberg sitting down in an oversized chair - and looking somewhat confused by this whole situation - while being addressed by an off-screen crew member…who by the sounds of it, is former ‘The Before’ host…Benjamin Broadwater.

BENJAMIN BROADWATER: Hello Ms. Licke—… Licht—… uhhh… how do you pronounce that, anyway?

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: LEICHENBERG. VERY ROOTED IN TRADITION, UNLIKE AMERICAN NAMES. IT MEANS PILE-OF-CORPSES IN YOUR INFERIOR TONGUE, AND MY PEOPLE EARNED IT BY SLAUGHTERING THEIR ENEMIES THROUGH MANY GENERATIONS.

Brunhilde smiles happily after delivering this cheerful tidbit.


BENJAMIN BROADWATER: …riiiiiiiight. Well, it’s a pleasure Miss… uhhh… anyway, let’s move along. Why don’t you tell us a bit about your life and what you think of this whole competition?

Clearing her throat in an oddly dainty way, Brunhile scoots forward in her chair as though she were preparing to deliver a lengthy and informative speech about her childhood hopes and dreams or some lame shit like that. Instead, though, she just begins to flex; showing off her biceps, triceps, traps and delts in quick succession before being interrupted by the interviewer.

BENJAMIN BROADWATER: No, no… I mean, very impressive Ms. L, but we were looking for something more… vocal. Please use your words.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: WORDS?

BENJAMIN BROADWATER: Yeah, just… tell us something about yourself.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: AH. I UNDERSTAND WHAT SMALL MAN MEANS NOW.

She takes a moment to collect herself, as if compiling all the relevant information in her head before she rattles it all off.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: DEADLIFT: TWO HUNDRED FIFTY FIVE KILOGRAMS. BENCH PRESS: ONE HUNDRED FORTY EIGHT KILOGRAMS. SQUAT: TWO HUNDRED FORTY SEVEN KILOGRAMS.

A pause, as the interviewer waits for any further words from the muscular young powerlifter. It seems she thinks that’s all the relevant info she needs to share, though.

BENJAMIN BROADWATER: …W-well… we were looking for something more along the lines of…

Brunhilde narrows her eyes at the camera and crosses her thick arms over her chest. The interviewer pauses, as though he were reconsidering pressing the matter. Eventually he speaks, after much hesitation.

BENJAMIN BROADWATER: Like… childhood memories, major accomplishments, romantic interests…?

Nodding her head sternly, the subject of this interviewer speaks gravely in her deep, booming voice.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: NEIN. I GROW BORED OF THE PATHETIC LANGUAGE KNOWN AS ‘ENGLISH’.

The German woman stands up, knocking the chair aside as she begins to shout in her native tongue.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: ZUR HÖLLE MIT DIESEM ANGLO-UNSINN! JEDER SOLLTE WISSEN, WER ICH BIN, VERDAMMT! BEWEGEN SIE JETZT, BEVOR ICH SIE ZERSTÖRE!

Stomping towards the camera, Brunhilde soon disappears behind it; a series of shouts and clanging noises seem to indicate that she barreled through the interviewer and cameraman rather than going around them. We cut back to the set where we see Brunhilde holding up her board.

PAUL QUINTON: Well aren’t you a sweet little lebkuchen! You wrote…”Meine erste Liebe”!

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: I believe we are willing to accept that answer!

Brunhilde gives a confident smirk as she puts down her white board.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: I ENJOY DAN AYKROYD VODKA. HIS MOVIES…MEH.

Paul grabs at his ears.

PAUL QUINTON: Volume control there, my little wienerschnitzel. But moving on…

The camera moves over to show the next contest up, a young lady with pink hair and a big smile. Before she could lift her white board to show her answer, we cut to her interview from earlier in the night.

CHELSEA KENEDY: My name is Chelsea Kennedy and I am from Nashville, Tennessee, currently, living in New York City. I am twenty-two years of age. I may be sweet on the outside, but I am one tough cookie as well. Don’t let my kindness fool you. I moved to New York City to pursue a career in wrestling and I am a part of the Twenty-Twenty-One Softball Academy graduates. My father is one of my best friends and I want to make him very happy. Also, I would love to challenge myself in this competition and learn from it. Hopefully down the line, other wrestling companies will take notice of me, but for now, my focus is on Pursuit of the Ring and winning it all.

We cut back to the stage and we see Paul with a disgusted look on his face, shaking his head in disapproval.

PAUL QUINTON: Listen here, Princess Bubblegum, I’m not sure where you get off talking like that…but you need to watch your mouth. There are women and children who work around here!

Paul taps his cards on his pedestal and lets out a frustrated sigh.

PAUL QUINTON: Let’s see what Mrs. Potty-mouth wrote.

A slightly taken back Chelsea holds up her board, to show she wrote “The Pagemaster”.

PAUL QUINTON: Really?

*BUZZER

PAUL QUINTON: I'm not even going to fucking respond that it's so ludacris. NEXT!!!

A dejected Chelsea lowers her head slightly, feeling embarrassed. The camera quickly moves on to an older, more weathered gentleman. Before anything can be said, we cut over to his interview. There is a nervous aura surrounding Jakeem as he fidgets in his chair, as if sitting still in front of the camera is not something he’s accustomed to. It seems as if he is a man of action, used to taking physicality and violence to the extreme, so sitting still is almost a painful endeavor. Tasked with telling the viewers a little more about himself, he raises his hands to communicate through sign language.

BENJAMIN BROADWATER: I’m sorry, I don’t understand sign-language. We’re going to go ahead and have someone translate and put it on the screen for the folks at home to understand.

“My manager and agent, Don Queen, has promised that this opportunity will help me gain exposure in the United States wrestling scene. It has been several years since I last competed here, and new fans of the sport may not be familiar with who I am and what I represent. Some may write me off as a hardcore wrestler, but to me it is more than that. I wear my scars as badges of honor, fond memories of my battles against the deadliest warriors the sport had to offer. They are reminders that I am a hero to many of the young fans in my native India and well as my fellow Indians who reside in America. In my youth, I did not understand the importance of this, but now I want to make all of my countrymen proud of the fact that I’m trying to represent them.”

Jakeem pauses briefly, so that the captions translating his sign language at the bottom of the screen can catch up to the movement of his hands.

“In the past, I exposed myself to extreme violence because I thrived on it personally. It was like a drug habit that I couldn’t break. I lost my voice in one of those wars, a barbed wire ladder match against a strange man known only as Lookaway, a member of a group called The Voodoo Trinity. I achieved championship gold against such rivals as Uncle Slam and Horace the Freak, adding Hardcore and United Crown titles to my list of accomplishments. I fought against bizarre rivals whose thirst for violence rivaled my own, such as the vampiric Slicer. Sometimes, it felt as if I was battling the forces of Hell itself. Actually…I was.”

He pauses, looking down from the camera for a moment before returning his gaze toward the screen with an almost pleading look coming from his eyes.

“And now I’m here? In this place where we will be expected to…bake? To dance? To answer trivia questions? And for what? Jewelry? Money? Future opportunities?”

Jakeem shakes his head back and forth, his confusion getting the better of him.

“I don’t even know where I am. I don’t know who any of you are. If anyone out there is able to contact Don Queen and have him reach out to me, I would appreciate it. He’s a black man with shockingly white hair and a penchant for rhyming. I may be a prisoner? A hostage? I’ve been assured that my king cobra, Sonjay, is safe somewhere on the premises, but these producers feel it is safer for him to be locked away. They may be lying to me. They may not be producers at all. Were the ancient forces of Hell really defeated by The Mighty Fenris in 2008, or are they still here, torturing me for the role I played in opposing them?”

Jakeem slowly lowers his head again as his shoulders slump, refusing to add further context to his confusing statements as the we cut back to the Challenge set.

PAUL QUINTON: What did you put, Mr. Kobra?

Jakeem holds up his white board with both hands, it reads ‘Uncle Buck’.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: While a quality movie, that is incorrect.

In a fit of rage, Jakeem hits his white board on the edge of his pedestal…cracking it in half. He tosses the broken board down and begins talking in a very fast and ferocious sign-language.

PAUL QUINTON: Woah there, Tupac. We’re trying to have a wholesome family show here and you’re throwing up gang signs.

AURORA BIGGS: It’s sign language.

Paul turns to his right upon hearing a sweet voice, to see beautiful blonde woman standing to his side.

PAUL QUINTON: Well hello, young lady. Ladies and gentleman, this is one of our interviewers…Aurora Biggs.

Aurora waves to the crowd as she stands there in a sleeveless orange dress.

AURORA BIGGS: I can help translate, I know sign language.

PAUL QUINTON: That would be much appreciated.

Jakeem keeps violently signing, while Aurora begins slowly signing back. After a few moments, Jakeem stops signing and Aurora stops as well.

PAUL QUINTON: So is he Blood or Crip?

AURORA BIGGS: He was just stating that Uncle Buck is such a big movie where he comes from. He didn’t even know Macaluey Culken was in anything else.

PAUL QUINTON: Oh what kind of sheltered run-down shack do you come from my friend. Thank you, Aurora. Moving on to our next contestant…

Cooler TJ gives Paul a sup-nod, right before the scene cuts to his interview. The Cooler’ TJ Thompson can be seen settling into his seat in front of the camera.

COOLER TJ THOMPSON:: Why am I here? It was either this or the basement of the HIP HOUSE. I don’t even know why I’m here bro. One second I’m vibing in the crib, and before I know it, I’m back in the crib! But with some knockoff version of myself standing next to me! Apparently, this is some other universe or something. Gerald pulled me through doing what, exactly? I have no idea. We’ll probably never know, and I’m stuck here until they can send me back! So for now, I’m here! There can’t be two of me now. That would get confusing real quick, even though I’m clearly superior! These hoes just don’t see it! They say that me and the other TJ are exactly the same. They took a DNA test and everything. But why is he such a bum?!?

TJ shrugs.

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Anyway, as long as I’m here, I might as well make the best of it! Not gonna lie, I have nothing going for me except for this. This world is exactly the same as mine, but my spot’s taken by some geek! I gotta win this to prove that I’m better. I’m the TJ that this world needs. And Gerald did y’all a favor by bringing me in to show the world that I’m the fucking goat. You heard it here first.

TJ stands up and walks away, shooting finger guns at the camera as we fade back to the soundstage.

PAUL QUINTON: So…the Cooler TJ Thompson…what movie did you say Macauley Culkin became the first child to be paid a million dollars for?

TJ lifts his white board, to reveal his answer.

PAUL QUINTON: And you said “Home Alone”.

*BUZZER*[/i]

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Dammit!

PAUL QUINTON: While Home Alone is more popular and made four times as much as My Girl, Culkin only pulled in one-hundred and ten thousand dollars. With that being said, Culkin made out like a Wet Bandit in Home Alone 2…pulling in four-point-five million dollars.

TJ puts can be seen wiping off his white board.

PAUL QUINTON: Almost done with this first round of questions here. Next up…

We slide over to see a man with a short haircut, sleeveless shirt and a pair of sunglasses on. And just like all the others, we cut to a clip from their interview.

HATED R: Yo yo YIZO! It's me! Ya' boy HATED R! You know who I be and what I do but let me break it down for you!


HATED R: As The Most Humblest Popstar to ever shine so bright, I just had to bring my talents down here to the Pursuit of the Ring, ja' feel? It's all about exposure. Northern. Southern. Top. Bottom. I'm for it all. But that ain't why I'm here, yo. I'm here because I needed some space. Some time to just chill out and vibe. While I work on my new-new album, man. It's gonna' be LITTY! So you all best get in line right now for the album I'm still writin'.

HATED R: Oh! Yo, also, I tried to get on The Circle but Netflix said somethin' 'bout there bein' a conflict of interest cuz the head chica finds me too hot so then my agent, she's super smart, was like: 'yo. why don't you come be dope on Pursuit of the Ring?' and I was like: 'BET!' so boom-shaquille-ja-feel! Here I'm is!

Sad music begins to slowly play in the background.

HATED R: Anyway, so yo, also some super sad shit happened to me like right before I came here. I like tried to buy this totally dope private jet, right? But then the dude was like... I don't take cash. And I was like md distraughted and had to ride alllllll the way back to the bank to get a cashier's check. It was brutal, man. Serious.

HATED R:... yo, make sure you play that super sad music over that part because it'll really make it pop. Trust. I be in the studio gettin' BUSY!

HATED R: So yeah, that's about it. You know what it is. Vote for me, Hated R and make all my dreams come true! HOT PURSUIT OF THE RING, BABY!

HATED R: DOPENESS FALLS!

HATED R: Twosies.

We cut back to the Trivia Challenge set and Paul looks completely dumbfounded.

PAUL QUINTON: What in the Melted-Vanilla-Ice was that? You know what, whatever. Just show me your answer.

Hated R holds up his board.

PAUL QUINTON: Motherfucker, you said “My Girl’.

*DING*

HATED R: MONEY!

Paul shakes his head in disbelief.

PAUL QUINTON: Time for our final contestant of the night.

We cut to a thin gentleman with an odd haircut. He just stands there smiling awkwardly at Paul, before we do a final cutaway to the interview room.

JOBBER JOE: Hello, I am Joe of France. Or they like to call me, Jobber Joe and I love baguettes, croissants, and coffee. I travelled the world, the road was…certainly rocky, but I have entered this competition for my first win.

After the brief introduction, we cut back to show Jobber Joe still smiling at Paul.

PAUL QUINTON: Well…at least you’re here and not watching little kids at the playground. What’s your answer, Pedo-Pete?

Jobber Joe lifts up his board to show his answer.

PAUL QUINTON: And you answered, “My Girl”. Of course you did, didn’t you.

Paul taps his cards on his pedestal and smiles at the camera.

PAUL QUINTON: Alright! Jasiah, Brunhilde, Hated R, and Jobber Joe all take an early lead with that first question. Let’s move on to our second one.





PAUL QUINTON: Question number two, what year did the Mall of America open?

Everyone begins writing down their answer on their personal white boards as the small melody from earlier plays in the background.

PAUL QUINTON: Small bit of info here, for all of you Project: Honor fans…Proving Ground just had a show there on black friday. I believe the name of it was the Mall Mayhem match. You should all download the P.H.-plus app and stream that show and all your other favorite Project: Honor episodes onto your phone, tablet, or smart t.v.

The music ends.

PAUL QUINTON: Alright! Time for a bit of a quicker run-through here. What year did the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota open?

Tibbagu holds up his white board and it reads ‘1999’

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: I’m sorry, that is incorrect there John Wayne Gacy.

The camera’s move down to Jasiah Andrew Scott. He holds up his white board and it reads ‘1992’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Well check YOU out. That is correct. Another point for Mr. Scott.

Another move as we now see Hudson hold up his board to reveal he wrote down ‘1993’.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: That is incorrect. Maybe you should have visited AskJeeves-dot-com.

Next up, Brunhilde Leichenberg holds up her board and it just says ‘Who cares’.

*BUZZER*

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: YOU CAPITALIST PIGS! ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS MONEY!

PAUL QUINTON: Oh honey, that’s not all this pig cares about. But unfortunately, I can not accept that answer.

We move over one to show Chelsea Kennedy holding up her white board. She had enough time to write ‘1992’ as well as hearts and fireworks.

*DING*

Paul looks at her board in disgust.

PAUL QUINTON: That may be correct…but how DARE you. There are impressionable youths watching this show!!! Editors, cover that up in post, please.

The cameras hang on Chelsea for a moment as there is a black bar placed over her entire white board. We then move on to Jakeem Kobra. He holds up his white board and it reads ‘1992’

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Good job! Another correct answer.

Jakeem begins to sign again, causing Paul to look to his right. Aurora speed walks up next to him..watching Jakeem sign.

AURORA BIGGS: He says he remembers reading a sign at the Mall of America when he was in that Mall Mayhem match.

PAUL QUINTON: Well check you out…

Paul slowly trails off as he watches Aurora walk away.

PAUL QUINTON: …you cheeky bastard.

His head snaps back to look at the contestants as we slide over to see the Cooler TJ Thompson. Cooler TJ holds his sign high above his head, showing he wrote down ‘1992’.

*DING*

HATED R:HEY, HOMIE! ME TOO!

Hated R, not waiting his turn, lifts his board up to show he ALSO wrote ‘1992’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Oh look, Boyz Not Men both got it right.

The camera moves over to a sad looking Jobber Joe. He holds up his board to show he wrote ‘2019’

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: Twenty-nineteen? You do understand this whole challenge concerns the nineties, right?

JOBBER JOE I thought they said nineteens.

The camera cuts to an annoyed Paul Quinton.

PAUL QUINTON: Got that teen on your brain, don’t ya? After question number two, Jasiah Andrew Scott and Jated R stand on top with two right.






PAUL QUINTON: Question number three, What soda’s working name was “Mountain Dew Killer”?

The small melody plays again, as everyone begins writing down an answer. After a few seconds, the melody stops and everyone puts down their markers.

PAUL QUINTON: Okay, Jack Napier. What soda’s working name was “Mountain Dew Killer”?

Tibbagu lifts his white board to show his answer is “Pepsi”.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: You do understand that Pepsi MAKES Mountain Dew, right?

TIBBAGU: Maybe Pepsi had a new drink and were going to kill Mountain Dew?

PAUL QUINTON: …no…

Camera’s move to Jasiah Andrew Scott, who holds up his board and it reads ‘Surge’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: That is correct! Surge was created by Coca-Cola in nineteen-ninety-seven. It was advertised as having a more hardcore edge in the same style Pepsi was advertising Mountain Dew. Originally launched in Norway as Urge in nineteen-ninety-six, it was released the following year in the U.S. due to its popularity.

Following up the information dump, we see Hudson hold up his board that reads ‘Crystal Pepsi’.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: ..how?

HUDSON: I thought maybe Pepsi brought crystal pepsi out to replace Mountain Dew?

PAUL QUINTON: Well, I can respect that idea. But just understand these were not real crystals. And anyway…that answer was wrong.

Brunhilde is next, as she holds up her sign that says ‘Water’.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: What? Honey-boo, noooo. Water has been around since the beginning of time.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: SODA BAD FOR YOU. MAKES MEN LAZY AND FAT. DRINK WATER, SO MUCH BETTER.

PAUL QUINTON: I can respect that...my short glass of water.

Brunhilde tosses her white board onto her pedestal as we move over to see Chelsea wrote ‘Orbitz’.

*BUZZER*

She opens her mouth to explain her answer, but Pail holds his hand up, signifying for her to stop.

PAUL QUINTON: Don’t even talk. I don’t want to hear anything from you right now.

The camera’s move to show Jakeem’s cracked board reads ‘Mello Yello’

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: Now THAT is a good answer…not the right one…but a good one.

With no finger movement from Jakeem, we scan over to the Cooler TJ Thompson and Hated R…who both hold their boards up simultaneously to show they both wrote ‘Surge’.

*DING* *DING*

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: That D-bag on Proving Ground, TJ Thompson, would have certainly got that wrong.

HATED R: But this bromance keeps groovin’!

PAUL QUINTON: Proving Ground gets Big Drip and we have Big Dip. Okay, well, you both got that one right. Let’s see what…

Before Paul can finish, Jobber Joe holds up his sign. Paul stops talking as he reads Joe’s answer is ‘Hi-C Ecto Cooler’.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: Jesus fuckin’ Christ. Did I not say soda? I said soda, I swear I did.

JOBBER JOE Hey, at least I chose a flavored drink. Unlike Brunhilde who choose-

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: YOU SHUT YOUR FACE, FRENCHMAN! OR IT WILL BE FRANKREICHFELDZUG ALL OVER AGAIN!

Jobber Joe, hunches over slightly…hunching down towards his pedestal in fright.

JOBBER JOE I think I just pissed myself…

PAUL QUINTON: Fucking gross. You stand in that shit and contemplate on what you’ve done. Meanwhile we are through three questions and both Jasiah and Hated R are still cruising along in the lead.





PAUL QUINTON: So question number four…What was the name of Bill and Hillary Clinton’s pet cat?

An image of the cat appears on a monitor behind Paul Quinton.

Soft melody.

Writing.

More writing.

End soft melody.



PAUL QUINTON: First up…

Tibbagu holds up his sign and it reads ‘Orange Chicken’.

*BUZZER*
*BUZZER*
*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: Really? You had to go there? Jasiah…save me from this clown…

JAS holds up his board and it reads ‘Socks’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: That’s correct!!!

JAS: When you are in the wrestling business, you do a lot of traveling. I'm a little bit of a history buff, so this wasn’t too hard of a question for me.

PAUL QUINTON: Interesting. I’ll have to keep that in mind later down the road. Following up the right answer…

Hudson holds up his board and his answer is ‘Cat’.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: …is a wrong one. Why just ‘Cat’? Were you just naming the animal?

HUDSON: I don’t have time for animals, so I’m not sure what I would have named it myself. President Clinton was a busy man, so to save time maybe he just kept it simple.

PAUL QUINTON: Honestly, that’s not a bad explanation.

Everyone’s attention turns to Brunhilde, who holds her board up. It just has the word ‘Who?’ on it.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: That’s what we were asking, Bru-baby.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: NO. WHO BILL CLINTON?

PAUL QUINTON: Bill Clinton? The Forty-second President of the United States?

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: NO PAY ATTENTION TO SILLY AMERICAN PRESIDENTS.

PAUL QUINTON: He took office in nineteen-ninety-three?

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: BEST LEADER IN NINETY-THREE…CHANCELLOR HELMUT KOHL.

PAUL QUINTON: Yep, but the answer is still wrong my darling.

Kennedy holds up her board, revealing her answer to be ‘Mittens’.

*BUZZER*

CHELSEA KENEDY: I know it’s wrong, but it looks like she has cute little mittens on her feet.

Without a word from Paul, Jakeem shakes head with disapproval while staring at Chelsea. He holds up his board that reads ‘Socks’.

PAUL QUINTON: My point exactly, Jakeem. I apologize for all the offensive stuff she is doing and saying while she is there next to you. We’ll try to get you in a nicer position for the next show.

Jakeem continues to shake his head as he puts his board down. The camera’s pan over to Cooler TJ and Hated R. Both of them proudly hold their boards into the air. Cooler TJ’s says ‘Monica Lewinsky’...

*BUZZER*

..and Hated R’s says ‘Socks’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Seems like you two aren’t finishing each other’s sentences any more.

Cooler TJ and Hated R look at each other, a confused look on both of their faces.

PAUL QUINTON: And finally…

Jobber Joe reveals his answer to be ‘Rex’.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: What the fuck, Joe? What the ACTUAL fuck?

JOBBER JOE I thought it might be ironic, don’t you think?

PAUL QUINTON: That’s the next show…

JOBBER JOE But wouldn’t it be funny to give your cat a dog name?

PAUL QUINTON: No…no it wouldn’t.

JOBBER JOE Oh…

PAUL QUINTON: So after four rounds, both Jasiah and Hated R are four for four, while Jakeem and Cooler TJ are just a couple behind with two. Brunhilde, Chelsea, and Joe are all sitting with one correct. Then Tibbagu and Hudson are all the way in the back by their lonesome, sporting goose eggs. And with that? On to question number five.





PAUL QUINTON: “Tamagotchi” is a combination of two Japanese words that mean what?

Que the soft melody as everyone seems to be thinking for an extra long time, before jotting down an answer. The melody ends and the camera moves to see Tibbagu.

PAUL QUINTON: I swear to God, if you don’t get this right…you will have highly dishonored your family and we do have a sword on grounds for you to use.

Tibbagu holds up his board, to show he wrote down the words ‘Egg’ and ‘Friend’

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: About Goddamn time. I swear we were about to have an Emmett Kelly situation here. What about you, Jasiah?

Jasiah sighs.

JAS: I ain’t had NO clue.

He shows his board, revealing he wrote the words ‘Got’ and ‘You’.

*BUZZER*

JAS: I heard Gotchi in there and that it had something to do with that.

PAUL QUINTON: Condolences, my friend. Hopefully this one doesn’t cost you in the end. Next up is the help, Hudson.

Hudson shakes his head as he shows his board has the words ‘Hand’ and ‘Bag’ on it.

*BUZZER*

HUDSON: I wasn’t sure either. I thought maybe it had to do something that it clipped to a purse or something of that nature.

PAUL QUINTON: Starting to notice the unculturedness of our contestants here. I really hope Tibbagu isn’t the ONLY person who gets this right.

We scoot over to see Brunhilde. Paul smiles at her.

PAUL QUINTON: What about you, darling?

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: WHEN CAN I STOP GAME AND START CRUSHING SKULLS?

She lifts her white board to reveal she wrote ‘Stupid’ and ‘Creature’

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: There are a lot of people who would disagree with that answer, Bru-boo.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: AND THEY ALL BE WRONG.

PAUL QUINTON: Chelsea, I need your answer…but I need you to be respectful of everyone watching right now. No vulgarity, no disgraceful motions, nothing of that sort. Are we clear?

CHELSEA KENEDY: But I didn’t-

PAUL QUINTON: No! You show me your answer…we most likely buzz you…and we move on. ARE WE CRYSTAL?

Chelsea doesn’t answer, instead just lifts her white board up to show the words ‘Egg’ and ‘Friend’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Well son-of-a-bitch. Look at that, Chelsea Kennedy with the right answer.

CHELSEA KENEDY: Yay!

Chelsea hops twice into the air, clapping her hands, with glee.

PAUL QUINTON: DAMMIT CHELSEA!!! WHAT DID I JUST SAY???

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: AMERICAN WOMEN. NO BRAIN…NO BRAWN. WHAT MEN SEE IN THEM?

Chelsea slinks down slightly. If she could just disappear, she probably would.

PAUL QUINTON: Now away from…God, I may have just puked in my mouth a little because I’m so upset. Um, Jakeem…she me what you got.

Jakeem shrugs his shoulders and holds up his white board. It reads ‘Time’ and ‘Waster.’

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: Next…

Cooler TJ lifts his board above his head, showing his answer…’Feed’ and ‘Me’.

PAUL QUINTON: This is not Little Shop Of Horrors. Next!

Hated R dances slightly in his spot as he holds his white board up with one hand. It reveals that he wrote ‘Egg’ and ‘Friend’.

*DING*

HATED R: All my homies know that song by my man Duckwrth.

Hated R steps out from behind his pedestal and begins to dance and sing at the same time.

HATED R: Tamagatchi, Tamagatchi. I run this shit like who can stop me.

PAUL QUINTON: I will. Please get back behind your stand. How about you, Catch-A-Predator?

As Hated R dances his way back behind his pedestal, Jobber Joe holds up his board that reads ‘Tomato’ and ‘Gotcha’.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: Let me guess, Tama- looks like Tomato and -gatchi looks like Gotcha?

JOBBER JOE You’re a clever one, Paul.

PAUL QUINTON: Nope, just fluent in dumbass. ANYWAY! Halfway through our trivia round and Hated R has a COMMANDING lead with five out of five right. Not sure if it’s the confidence, the drugs, or just dumb luck. But behind him with four, is Jasiah Andrew Scott. Followed up by Jakeem Kobra, Cooler TJ Thompson, and Chelsea Kennedy with two. Brunhilde Leichenberg, Jobber Joe, and Tibbagu are at least on the board with one. Meanwhile Hudson needs a magnificent comeback and a tie breaker, to have a chance at winning this first challenge.

Our host shuffles the cards he has in his hand, and then taps them gently on the wooden top to his pedestal.

PAUL QUINTON: First half done, second half about to begin. Hope you all are ready for this marathon to the end. Question six…




PAUL QUINTON: What fad toy was feared to be a tool for foreign spies?

The usual soft melody plays as everyone quickly begins to write down their answer.

PAUL QUINTON: Okay, I hope everyone is ready.

We cut over to see Tibbagu hold up his board to reveal the word ‘Furby’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: That is correct! Check you out, two in a row. You are on a roll!

We slide over to Jasiah, who holds up his board to reveal he also wrote ‘Furby’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: HELL yeah! Jasiah back on the board!

Move on over to Hudson, who holds up his answer to reveal he ALSO wrote Furby.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: God damn, three right answers in a row? I don’t even care if you people CHEATED off each other. Im just happy to see right answers!

Next up is Leichenberg, who holds up her sign with a scowl…revealing she too wrote Furby.

*DING*

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: STUPID AMERICAN CAPATLISM.

PAUL QUINTON: Where the rich get rich and the poor get poorer.

Scooch over to Chelsea, who both wrote ‘Furby’ and drew one as well.

*DING*

Paul slowly shakes his head in disgust.

PAUL QUINTON: I’m…I’m at a loss for words. I…just can’t. How about you, Mr. Kobra?

Jakeem holds up his board to reveal he ALSO wrote ‘Furby’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: FUCK YEAH! That is six in a row! Maybe this shitshow is turning around!

Cooler TJ and Hated R fist bump and both raise their boards into the air to show they both answered ‘Furby’ as well.

*DING*

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Holy shit, are we going to have a perfect round?

Paul leans forward onto his pedestal.

PAUL QUINTON: Jobber Joe…for the love of God. It’s a Furby…it’s a kids toy, something I’m sure you specialise in. I don’t even give a shit if you erase your answer right now and right Furby down on your board. What…

Jobber Joe erases his answer quickly and can be seen scribbling on the board.

PAUL QUINTON: ...is your answer?

With a big smile, Jobber Joe lifts his board to reveal he wrote ‘Furry’.

*BUZZER*

The sound of Paul’s head hitting the wooden top of his pedestal as he hangs his head in disappointment, rings out through the set.

PAUL QUINTON: We…said…FURBY!!! Not furry, you creepy son-of-a-bitch!!!

JOBBER JOE Oops…sorry…

PAUL QUINTON: We were SOOO close to a perfect round…and you had to go and FUCK it all up.

Paul, visibly frustrated, tosses most of his cue cards into the air behind him and lets them fall to the ground.

PAUL QUINTON: So everyone except for KD here with his furry answer, gained a point. So six questions in and Hated R is on fire, with a perfect six for six and Jasiah stands just behind him with five. Kobra, TJ, and Dirty Chelsea aren’t far behind with three, Brun-baby and Tibbagu are sitting pretty at two. Jobber Joe has one ‘cause he is a dumbass, while Hudson ALSO has one as he FINALLY made it on the board. BUT, with only four questions to go…Hudson and Jobber Joe are mathematically eliminated.

The wide shot of all the contestants show the lights above Hudson and Jobber Joe go out.




PAUL QUINTON: Four questions remaining…seven contestants left…can anyone catch Hated R the idiot savant? Let’s find out. Question number seven, what is the name of the first cloned sheep?

The soft melody returns as the remaining contestants begin writing down their answers.

PAUL QUINTON: While they answer that question, let me paint this picture for you. Brunhilde and Tibbagu have to run the table and hope Hated R gets the rest of these answers wrong. The rest of the crew are safe…for now.

The music ends as we shift over to Tibbagu.

PAUL QUINTON: So, Tibbagu, what is the name of the first cloned sheep?

Tibbagu holds up his white board to reveal he wrote the answer ‘Dolly’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: And you live to maybe see another day! How about you, Jasiah?

Jasiah shakes his head in utter embarrassment.

JAS: I completely forgot the name.

Holding up his board that says ‘Debra’ on it, Jasiah hangs his head in defeat.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: I’m sorry to say, but that is incorrect. But you are still in this, so don’t give up.

Passing over to Leichenberg, she holds up her sign to reveal that she wrote ‘Dolly’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: And that is absolutely right!!!

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: MOTHER BOUGHT ME SHEEP WHEN I WAS FOUR. NAMED IT DOLLY. KILLED IT ON FIFTH BIRTHDAY, FOR PARTY.

PAUL QUINTON: Do you mean your Father or Mother killed it?

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: NO, BRUNHILDE. CHASED IT DOWN IN YARD, SNAPPED NECK WITH BARE HANDS.

PAUL QUINTON: Um…okay. Is it sad that that kind of turns me on? ANYWAY!!! That right answer keeps you alive. For our next answer, I advise those who are watching at home…to close your children’s eyes and turn your head if you are easily squeamish. Chelsea, for the sake of everything holy…what is your answer.

Chelsea slowly lifts her board and it reads ‘Lambikins’

*BUZZER*

CHELSEA KENEDY: I-

PAUL QUINTON: No. Just, no. Get out.

The light above Chelsea turns off and the young lady turns and walks off set.

PAUL QUINTON: I still can’t believe Project: Honor hired someone as vile as her, to be on this show.

A deep sigh comes from the host.

PAUL QUINTON: Jakeem, what did you answer?

Jakeem holds up his board, to show he wrote ‘Dolly’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: And the Kobra lives to fight another day!!! But what about Cooler TJ Thompson?

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Naw, this is whack.

Cooler TJ lifts his white board to show he wrote ‘Lambchop’.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: I’m sorry TJ, but you know that’s wrong. Lambchop was the puppet from Lambchop’s Play-Along.

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Where I’m from, they named that sheep ‘Lambchop’ as a tribute to Jim Henson.

PAUL QUINTON: But Lambchop was created by Shari Lewis.

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Not where I am from.

PAUL QUINTON: Well, TJ, you can stick around…but you have been eliminated from contention.

The light above TJ clicks off.

PAUL QUINTON: Our last contestant of this round, Hated R. Are you going to continue your hot streak?

HATED R: Fo’ sho’.

Hated R shows his white board and it says ‘Dolly’ on it.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: And your amazing run continues. But with that correct answer, I’m sorry to say that Tibbagu and Brunhilde are eliminated from this challenge.

TIBBAGU: Son-of-a-gun!

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: IT’S OKAY. MORE TIME TO WORKOUT.

The lights above the two of them turn off.

PAUL QUINTON: So that leaves us with three competitors left. Jasiah Andrew Scott with five, Jakeem Kobra with four, and our leader Hater R…with seven. So here is how this is now. Both Jasiah and Jakeem need to get the rest of their answers right…while crossing their fingers that Hated R gets his all wrong. This would set up either a win for Jasiah or a tie-breaker for Jakeem. If Hated R gets even ONE right…he wins the whole shebang. So…question number eight.




PAUL QUINTON: What year did Princess Diana pass away in a Patris traffic accident?

The soft melody plays as the three remaining contestants quickly write down an answer. They all put their markers down and the melody ends.

PAUL QUINTON: So, Jasiah…remember, you need this answer correct to stay in the game. What did you write?

Jasiah lifts his board slowly and reveals his answer is ‘1998’

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: Oh, I am so sorry Jasiah. That buzzer means you are incorrect and that means you have been eliminated from this challenge.

Jasiah shakes his head in disgust at himself as his overhead light turns off.

PAUL QUINTON: Okay, Jakeem…it’s up to you now, to take down the Hated R Empire.

HATED R: HEY!
PAUL QUINTON: What…was…your…answer?

Jakeem lifts his white board to reveal he wrote ‘1997’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: AND THAT’S THE CORRECT ANSWER!!!

HATED R: It is? NO WAY!!!

Without being pressed for his answer yet, Hated R lifts his white board to show he also wrote ‘1997’.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: With that correct answer, Hated R, it seems you are the winner of our Trivia Challenge!

Jakeem’s light goes out and a small handful of confetti drops down onto Hated R.

We cut to the back where we see Hated R in the interview chair again, after his win.

HATED R: YERRRRRRR! What's crip-a-lippin' my peeps! It's ya' Boy Toy with the Sauce like Soy: HATED R in the mother effin' buildin'! Bless Up! Bless Down! Bless Side-to-Side! Anyway, yo, did you checks and balances my steez just then? I killed it out there! That's how we do it over here on the Hated R side! We takin' so many Ws I might as well be a feminist in a tight skirt! You know what it is! From the top of the charts to the top of the challenges!"

BENJAMIN BROADWATER: What the hell did you just say?


HATED R: This just the beginnin', baby! Keep ya' hands up for ol' Hated R and we'll be runnin' this shiznit by the end of this shiznit! Jah, feel me?! Bitty Dubbs, my new single Muppet Money is out right now! Stream that shit!

Hated R stands to his feet.

HATED R: Hated R! OUTTIE 300 AND A BAG OF BISCOTTI!

He starts walking backwards away from the camera, but keeping his eyes locked on the lens.

HATED R: Twosies.

And with that he turns and leaves the interview room. We fade to a commercial.




AURORA BIGGS V/O: Miss the latest episode of Proving Ground? Not able to watch Fallout while the kids are awake? You want to fast forward through all the boring parts of Project: Underground? Download Project: Honor-Plus and have all your favorite episodes at your fingertips.





Our show returns from commercial break and we find ourselves on a new set. We see a rather large pachinko machine, with steps running down the side of it. At the bottom of the machine is a small ledge…with a large pit of mud in front of them. Paul Quinton stands at the top of the pachinko machine, with Tibbagu just a few feet away. Behind Quinton is a small window and the Pursuit Of The Ring logo.

PAUL QUINTON: Hello everyone and welcome back to Pursuit Of The Ring. Up next is our Physical Challenge. Today’s challenge was made famous on Takeshi’s Castle back in Nineteen-Eighty-Eight.

As Paul continues to talk, a video comes up showing how this challenge was completed during Takeshi’s Castle.



PAUL QUINTON: What has to happen here is the contestant will use this little mallet to hit the ball, then grab the bowl from the pedestal as they pass it. They have to run down the stairs and onto the small ledge. Their objective is to listen to me call out the directions and CATCH the ball in their bowl. Each player will have three tries. Whoever catches the ball the most, wins this challenge. Sooo, are you ready, Tibbagu?

Tibbagu nods his head.

*HORN*

Tibbagu uses the ball to hit the mallet, causing it to begin its venture down the pachinko machine. Tibbagu turns and runs down the stairs. He trips on the very bottom one and goes flying HEAD FIRST into the mud.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: Oh, nuts! Tibbagu fails at his attempt in the first round.

A stage hand quickly peeks out from the window behind Paul, and offers him a new bowl and ball.

PAUL QUINTON: Just going to replace the stuff here as we get a new contestant.

Paul places the ball in front of the mallet and the bowl on the pedestal, as Jasiah Andrew Scott makes his way up to where Paul is.

PAUL QUINTON: So Jasiah, you did fairly well in the trivia portion of the show, sticking around until the last round. Are you expecting to do well in this challenge?

JAS: Most definitely.

PAUL QUINTON: Then let’s get to it!

*HORN*

Jasiah hits the ball with the mallet a little too hard, but takes off running as fast as he can…grabbing the bowl on the way past Paul. Jasiah gets down to the ledge JUST as the ball comes over the crest of the bottom. He jumps…arms outstretched…and only catches a FACE full of mud.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: And that’s why you have to be strategic on how hard you hit that ball. Because when that happens, you’re going to be late and you end up with mud on your face.

The same stagehand from earlier pops out and hands Paul another bowl and ball. He places them in the same spot as he previously did, turning to see Hudson standing and waiting for his turn.

PAUL QUINTON: Hey there, big man. You ready for this challenge?

Hudson just nods.

PAUL QUINTON: Then let’s get to it, my friend.

*HORN*

Hudson walks over and nudges the mallet into the ball, causing it to start rolling. Hudson takes off running down the stairs. He turns the corner and walks out onto the ledge, waiting to hear Paul OR see the ball.

PAUL QUINTON: To the left…TO THE LEFT.

Hudson looks to the left…then to the right…then back to the left. The ball comes flying over the edge and Hudson jumps for it.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: HE CAUGHT IT!!!

Hudson lifts his head out of the mud to see the ball sitting in his bowl.

PAUL QUINTON: So Hudson takes an early lead.

The stagehand, tired of handing Paul the stuff, steps through the window with the ball and bowl…setting it up himself as Brunhilde Leichenberg steps up next to Paul.

PAUL QUINTON: Why hello there, my young flower. Are you ready to give this your best shot?

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: I GUESS IF IT SHUTS AMERICAN MAN UP.

PAUL QUINTON: Mmm, feisty.

*HORN*

Brunhilde kicks the mallet instead of using the handle and the ball bounces hard off the nearby wall that was made to stop it from going over the wrong side. With the ball now rolling in the right direction, Brunhilde reaches over and grabs the ball before lightly jogging down the stairs. She reaches the bottom and waits for the ball.

PAUL QUINTON: To your-

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: SHUT UP SMALL MAN! I DO THIS MYSELF!

Paul nods his head in approval as the ball comes flying over the edge of the pachinko machine, over Brunhilde…

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: KOMMT JETZT IN DIE SCHÜSSEL!

…and as if someone smacked the ball mid air, it comes flying back to her and into her outstretched bowl.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: It’s witchcraft!!!

Brunhilde walks off the ledge with a cocky smirk on her face, holding her bowl and ball. Meanwhile the stagehand is back at it, replacing things as Paul welcomes the next contestant…Chelsea Kennedy.

PAUL QUINTON: Oh, it’s you. Listen, I am hoping you got all that nastiness out of you during the trivia challenge. Are you ready to do this?

CHELSEA KENEDY: I think so.

Paul rolls his eyes.

PAUL QUINTON: Just do it then.

*HORN*

Chelsea runs over and uses the mallet to hit the ball, causing it to go in motion. As it slowly makes its descent, she runs and grabs the bowl. IRunning down the stairs, Chelsea looks over to try to watch it, the ball disappearing as she goes below the lip of the pachinko machine. She runs out onto the ledge and waits for Paul’s instructions…but none ever come. The ball comes flying over her head, causing her to jump out to catch it…and catch it she does.

*DING*

Chelsea is so deep in the mud that the only thing sticking out is the ball in the bowl and her butt cheeks.

PAUL QUINTON: Can someone cover this woman up? She can’t be vulgar, so now she plans on showing nudity? COME ON!!!

The camera’s quickly cut to Paul, with the stagehand resetting things up behind him. The next contestant, Jakeem Kobra, is already up next to him.

PAUL QUINTON: Ready for a mud bath, Jakeem?

Jakeem nods his head.

PAUL QUINTON: Have at it, my friend.

*HORN*

Jakeem walks over and uses the handle of the mallet to bump the ball. He turns and speed walks to the stairs, grabbing the bowl on his way there. With a nimble step, he makes his way down to the ledge and waits for the ball.

PAUL QUINTON: It’s hanging right…hanging right…

Jakeem begins to inch towards the right side of the pachinko machine.

PAUL QUINTON: …TO YOUR LEFT!!!

At the last second, the ball cuts and Jakeem barely has time to leap as it flies off the edge a few feet from him. All Jakeem ends up with is a mud facial and an empty bowl.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: Oh, tough break. It was hanging right and caught the edge of a small obstruction on the face of the machine.

As some people help Jakeem out of the mud and the stagehead comes out to replace everything, Cooler TJ Thompson steps up next to Paul.

PAUL QUINTON: Cooler TJ, my homie. Did they have Takeshi’s Castle on your Earth?

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Nah, we didn’t. We had somethin’ called MXC though. It had this game.

PAUL QUINTON: Good, then you understand the rules. Let’s get crackin’.

*HORN*

Cooler TJ runs over and lightly taps the ball with the mallet, before turning around and grabbing the bowl from the pedestal next to our host. TJ takes off running down the stairs, barely saving himself from running over the edge, before turning towards the ledge.

PAUL QUINTON: It’s going to the right!

Cooler TJ stands on the right side, but bends down slightly. The MOMENT the ball starts to crest over the edge, he jumps up and extends his arm and the bowl…catching the ball in the air.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Holy shit.

HATED R: MY BOY GOT HOPS!!!

Paul turns to see Hated R already standing next to him.

PAUL QUINTON: So are you going to try to match that height?

HATED R: This sly dog ain’t got time to mess up this facade. Dip in the mud? Uh-uh! Dip in that hottie blondie that was throwin’ up signs this a.m.? I’m down for that. Twosies!

Hated R leaves the top of the pachinko machine, passing Jobber Joe in the process.

PAUL QUINTON: Well, I guess he already does have a challenge win under his belt and already gets to decide who he wants to face later tonight. So with the ball and bowl already set-up, we have the always detestable and always a spectacle, Jobber Joe.

JOBBER JOE Hi, Paul.

PAUL QUINTON: Are you ready for your physical challenge, Joe?

JOBBER JOE I am Paul. You see, I always enjoy a nice mud bath. It opens the pores and cleans-

*HORN*

Before Joe can even grasp the idea that the horn blew for him to start, Paul reaches over and pushes the mallet, causing it to kick the ball. Joe reaches and grabs the bowl before turning and running down the stairs. On his way down though, he slips and ends up sliding the rest of the way down on his butt. Luckily Joe stops before sliding into the mud, but it doesn’t give him much time to stand up and run onto the ledge, before the ball comes flying off the pachinko machine. With an odd guttural noise, Jobber Joe jumps out and CATCHES the ball with his bowl…landing in the mud with a wet smack.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Well fuck me.

The stage hand appears once more behind Paul, resetting everything.

PAUL QUINTON: And with that, we move onto Round two of three. Hudson, Brunhilde, Chelsea, TJ, and Jobber Joe all accomplished catching their ball in round one, but can they make that a pair of balls in round two? Meanwhile, Hated R has already dropped out of this challenge, having already won the trivia challenge earlier. Let’s move on to Round Two!

The camera pans out and we see Tibbagu standing next to Paul. Tibbagu’s makeup is clean, as if he put on a fresh coat, but his outfit is a little mudstained.

PAUL QUINTON: Welcome back to the pachinko machine, Krusty. Are you ready for a second shot at this?

TIBBAGU: If it means more exposure for the babes, I’m down for anything.

Tibbagu winks at the camera.

PAUL QUINTON: Then let’s get on with it!

*HORN*

Tibbagu walks over and gently hits the ball with the mallet, watching it for a moment to see its path, before turning and grabbing the bowl. He carefully runs down the stairs and immediately turns to the right onto the ledge.

PAUL QUINTON: It’s going to the right…to the right…TO THE RIGHT…

Tibbagu, listening to directions, moves and then watches as the man comes flying off the edge. He jumps, turning in the air as if to land in the mud on his back. With a slapping noise, he hits the mud and the ball lands in his bowl perfectly.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: And Tibbagu on the board!!!

The stagehand steps out of his are and replaces the ball, but doesn’t have enough time to place the bowl down before an angered Jasiah Andrew Scott charges over and hits the ball with the mallet.

PAUL QUINTON: Someone’s ready to get this over with.

*HORN*

Jasiah snatches the bowl from the crew member and takes off running, watching his footing as not to fall. Jasiah runs onto the ledge and waits for the ball.

PAUL QUINTON: To the le-no, right…NO, THE LEFT!!!

Jasiah lunges out over the mud, but catches the ball in his bowl before going face first into the mud.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: HEY-OH! That’s two-for-two in this round.

Paul turns to look at Hudson, who is standing next to him.

PAUL QUINTON: You ready to make it three-for-three, big man?

HUDSON: I will try.

PAUL QUINTON: Have at ‘er.

*HORN*

Hudson walks over and grabs the handle of the mallet and hits the ball, just a smidge too hard and the ball goes flying…hitting one of the obstacles and bounces back. Hudson ends up catching the ball without even moving off the top area.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: Oh, no. Sorry there, Hudson. But this constitutes as the ball going off of the course.

HUDSON: But I technically caught it.

PAUL QUINTON: But the rules state you have to catch it down at the ledge…not up here. The ball did not complete the obstacle course. Sorry.

Hudson shakes his head and shows a moment of vulnerability as he heaves the ball off the pachinko machine. He grumbles to himself as he passes Brunhilde, who is now standing next to Paul.

PAUL QUINTON: This day keeps getting better and better.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: LESS TALKING, MORE GRABBING BALLS.

Paul looks at the camera and winks.

PAUL QUINTON: You read my mind, beautiful.

*HORN*

Brunhilde walks over and uses the mallet to start the ball on its journey. She turns, grabbing the bowl, then calmly walks down the stairs. She steps out on the ledge, gauges where she is at. Without even looking, she holds out her bowl and CATCHES the ball as it flies off the edge of the machine.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Oh, this woman really knows what pushes my buttons. In a good way…

Paul turns and sees Chelsea Kennedy next to him, this time in a pair of sweatpants.

PAUL QUINTON: Unlike some people. Just go…

*HORN*

Chelsea walks over and hits the ball with the mallet, before grabbing her bowl and taking off down the steps. She slips on the bottom one, almost falling into the mud but catching herself before she falls over. She steps out onto the ledge and again, waits for Paul’s directions…but the silence is deafening. The good thing, though, is Chelsea can hear the ball bouncing off obstacles. Moving to the sound of the ball, she readies herself…when the ball comes flying off the edge. Chelsea jumps out and catches the ball in her bowl.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: About time she did something not rated-R.

Paul turns and looks at Jakeem, who has made his way next to the host.

PAUL QUINTON: I still can’t believe the nerve of some people, Jakeem. Here we are, trying to have a wholesome family show. I’m keeping my nose clean, you’re keeping your nose clean, Hated R is keeping his no- well…he’s keeping his nose clean while he is on set. Then you have people like Chelsea, who just flaunt, curse, and are just downright nasty.

Jakeem shakes his head in disbelief.

PAUL QUINTON: Us clean guys have to stick together, Jakeem. Go get it, homie.

Paul offers Jakeem a fist bump, to which Jakeem looks at it oddly before making a flat hand and covering it like paper covers rock.

*HORN*

Jakeem hits the ball, grabs his bowl and goes running down the stairs. He turns the corner and walks out onto the ledge.
PAUL QUINTON: JAKEEM…BEHIND YOU!!!

Jakeem turns his head in time to see the ball come flying off the edge. With the nimbleness and speed of a cat, Kobra launches himself backwards with the bowl outstretched. With a plop, he lands in the mud with an empty bowl in one hand…and the ball in his other hand.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: Like a motherfucking NINJA!!!

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Hot damn!

PAUL QUINTON: You think you can do something like that?

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Not a chance.

PAUL QUINTON: Hey, practice makes perfect though.

*HORN*

TJ jumps a little, being caught off guard by the horn as he didn’t even see the stagehand replace the stuff…but it was fresh, new, and ready for him to go. Cooler TJ runs to hit the mallet, but slips from a bit of mud that had been tracked up onto the top of the machine. Unlucky for him, as he slipped…he kicked the mallet and the ball.

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: NOT LIKE THIS!

TJ hops to his feet, grabs his bowl, and takes off towards the bottom of the machine…but it was too late. Just as he hit the bottom step, the ball flew over the edge of the machine and plopped down into the mud. Without even an attempt, TJ hung his head in shame.

*BUZZER*

PAUL QUINTON: You hate to see it.

JOBBER JOE You really do.


PAUL QUINTON: JESUS FUCK!!!

Caught off guard by Jobber Joe, Paul turns towards the frenchman…who is just giving him a creepy smile.

PAUL QUINTON: Just go, Issei Sagawa.

*HORN*[/b]

Jobber Joe brushes past Paul, grazing his fingers along Paul’s wrist as he passes him, causing the host to shiver in disgust. Joe hits the ball, then as if he is on a stroll through the park, turns and grabs his bowl…and walks down the stairs. Before he is even half-way down, the ball flies off the edge and embeds itself in the mud.

*BUZZER*

JOBBER JOE Dangit! Sad day.

Jobber Joe hangs his head and finishes walking down the stairs, before stepping off the machine.

PAUL QUINTON: Are we seriously that desperate for contestants that we have to let him stay?

Paul pauses for a moment as if he is listening to someone talk.

PAUL QUINTON: We are?

Another pause.

PAUL QUINTON: Fucking hell.

Paul turns, expecting to see Tibaggu…but it is Brunhilde Lechenberg instead.

PAUL QUINTON: Well this is a pleasant surprise.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: I THREATEN WEAK PRODUCERS, TO LET ME GO FIRST. I SAY I CAN END THIS NOW, SAVE PEOPLE TIME AND MONEY. THEY LET ME GO, AFTER I SHOW THEM HOW CLEAN BREAK ARM.

Brunhilde shows Paul the ball she holds in one hand and the bowl she holds in the other.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: ALSO, STAGEHAND IS ON WAY TO HOSPITAL, SO I DO JOB.

PAUL QUINTON: And what a job you would do. Have at it, my queen.

*HORN*[/b]

Brunhilde walks over and places the ball in front of the mallet and then gives it a small whack. With the ball falling towards the mud, along the obstacle course, Brunhilde turns and begins the race to the bottom.

PAUL QUINTON: GO BRUN, GO! GO BRUN, GO!

Brunhilde makes her way down the steps and gets to the ledge, waiting for the ball. It bounces off obstacles and ricochets off hurdles, before taking the dive off the edge. With a bit of sudden panic on her face, Brunhilde has to jump off the ledge to catch this one. The ball hits the bowl, but as she smacks down into the mud…it pops back up into the air. But everyone sighs a bit as it comes flying back down into Leichenberg’s bowl.

*DING*

PAUL QUINTON: And with a perfect three-for-three, no one can catch her…so Brunhilde Leichenberg eliminates everyone else and is the WINNER of the first physical challenge!!!

Our scene quickly cuts to show Brunhilde in the interview chair, wiping mud off her face with a towel.

The segment opens mid-conversation with the female powerlifter, Brunhilde Leichenberg. Rather than her usual booming, heavily accented, halting English speech, she seems far more subdued; speaking almost eloquently, although the German accent still drips thickly off every word.



BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: Mmm, so as I was saying, there really shouldn’t be any doubt around me winning such silly challenges. I mean, I do hold the women’s record for deadlift, squat, clean & jerk, snatch, bench press, hammer toss, discus and shot-put; it’s not like some cute little reality show is going to trip me up, jawohl?

BENJAMIN BROADWATER: Interesting. So you’d say you’re fairly confident of your chances going forward.

Clicking her tongue and pointing at the off-screen interviewer with an index finger, she nods while grinning brightly.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: Please, believe me when I say it is not arrogance on my part, but simply acknowledging the truth of my superiority. You see, I wrote the math down in the margins of my trusty German-English dictionary.

Reaching down into the front of her shirt, she withdraws a beaten, battered old dictionary - the pages yellow and brittle from age and use - and begins to leaf through it. There is silence that stretches over what seems like minutes, as she squints down at the miniscule writing.

Finally, it seems like the crew member has gathered up the courage to interrupt her.

BENJAMIN BROADWATER: So, umm… moving on…

Her eyes snap away from the pages, to meet those of the interviewer. Rearing back with one hand, she tosses the dog-eared dictionary at the man off-screen; it narrowly misses him, but manages to strike the lens of the camera. The force is great enough to not only crack the lens, but send the whole camera tipping backwards to crash onto the floor.

The picture is staticy and flickering as a result of the damage, but the audio still comes through clear as Brunhilde speaks - clearly somewhat embarrassed about the outburst.

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: Scheiße! My apologies, I… sometimes I don’t know my own strength.

BENJAMIN BROADWATER: …Brunhilde, please; this is the seventh piece of equipment you’ve broken, and we’re only on the first episode. Our budget can’t cover this.

The camera finally stops recording, as we abruptly cut to commercials.









Coming back from the commercial break, we find ourselves on a third set. This set has nine tables that are surrounded by pots, pans, ingredients, and multiple ovens.

PAUL QUINTON: Hello folks and thank you for coming back to our humble little show. Before the break we saw Brunhilde Leichenberg win the physical challenge and she now has the ability to choose her opponent for later on, joining Hated R as one of our challenge winners. But now, we have one final challenge for the night…our speciality challenge! Each show, we will have a speciality challenge that doesn’t have a place in the trivia or physical world…because it is just a BIT more. And tonight’s specialty challenge? BAKING!

A light turns on over a long table to the left of the contestants tables.

PAUL QUINTON: And we have five judges here to decide just who exactly has made the best treat and deserves that third and final match challenge ability. Our judges are as follows…Matthew Kessler!

A lengthy, awkward looking man nods his head to the camera.

PAUL QUINTON: Former co-host of The After, Chloe Barr.

The dark blonde shy looking woman next to Matthew, smiles.

PAUL QUINTON: Newcomer, Stephanie Fischer!


The light-skinned beauty waves to the camera.

PAUL QUINTON: Former co-host of The Before, Cora Frye!

The busty brunette smiles to the camera.

TIBBAGU: HE-LLO, CORA!

PAUL QUINTON: Shut up, Sweet Tooth. And finally, the other former co-host of The After, Grace Lopez.

The camera’s catch a small smirk from Grace, but nothing else.

PAUL QUINTON: Okay, let’s get cooking…well…baking. So, contestants…

The lights kick on over the baking stations and every one of the contestants are standing at a table by themselves.

PAUL QUINTON: The judges here are hungry for treats for the New year. We are asking you to bake them something they would enjoy. Be it cupcakes, regular cake, or anything in between…we just want a little snack. On your marks, get set…

Paul pauses for a moment for added effect.

PAUL QUINTON: …BAKE!

The contestants all begin to scurry around, grabbing ingredients and utensils. Well, everyone except for Hated R…who has found himself a chair and is listening to something on his Airpods.

HATED R: Yo, this beat be the sickest. Download Muppet Money!!!

PAUL QUINTON: Seems either Hated R is eliminating himself, is over confident, or baked himself too much while he took a hiatus from the last challenge. Looks like he’s taking a hiatus from this one too.

As the contestants begin working on their bakes, the Pursuit Of The Ring logo flashes on the screen and we suddenly find ourselves looking at all the contestants standing behind individual pedestals with a square shaped obstructive cloche covering their creations.

PAUL QUINTON: First up, Tibbagu. Show us what you created for us.

Tibbagu walks over and grabs the cloche, lifting it off of his creation.



PAUL QUINTON: What the HELL?

TIBBAGU: I wanted to add a little of my clown flair.

PAUL QUINTON: You added nightmare fuel, that’s what you added.

The camera cuts over to the judging table, where sliced pieces of the cake have been handed out and the judges have been tasting it.

MATTHEW KESSLER: I tasted a green tea mochi there, which was not too bad. But there is something…earthy…I think I taste too.

TIBBAGU: I think I may have not washed off all the mud from earlier.

With that, Cora Frye spits out the cake that was in her mouth.

PAUL QUINTON: Welp, with that, we move on to Jasiah.

The cameras show Jasiah lifting the cloche off his cake.



PAUL QUINTON: Not bad looking. Judges?

We cut back to the judges, digging into the cake itself.

CHLOE BARR: It’s not a bad looking cake, Jasiah. What flavors are in it?

JAS: Vanilla.

CHLOE BARR: Anything else?

JAS: No, ma’am. Just vanilla.

CHLOE BARR: I just feel it could have been brought up another notch or two if there was a complimentary flavor. Vanilla is just so plain-jane, so boring. It needed a raspberry or chocolate to go with that vanilla.

PAUL QUINTON: Thank you, Chloe and thank you Jasiah. Next, we have Hudson.

Hudson walks up and removes the cloche from his cake.



PAUL QUINTON: Wow!

HUDSON: While I am not the cook, I do like to bake from time to time.

We cut over to the judges who are enjoying the cake.

STEPHANIE FISCHER: Hudson…I need you to be MY butler. This cake is delicious. It has what Chloe was looking for, a nice mixture of chocolate and raspberry. I just can’t get enough of it.

HUDSON: Thank you.

PAUL QUINTON: On to Brunhilde. I think I may know what is under your cloche…

Brunhilde Leichenberg lifts the cloche from her cake.



PAUL QUINTON: Impressive. Judges?

Que the judges who are all digging into the cake.

CORA FRYE: Beautiful cake, Brunhilde. And it is good, but there is something slightly off about it. Obviously it's a German Chocolate cake…but is there something different you did to it?

BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG: IT IS KETO. LOW CARB.

CORA FRYE: Ah, that could explain it.

PAUL QUINTON: Good job, Brun. What about…ugh…Chelsea…

We see Chelsea walk over and lift the cloche off of her cake. Paul’s face contorts horrifically as it is revealed.



PAUL QUINTON: Well there goes our hopes for a G rating.

Quickly cutting to the judges, some of them are making weird faces as they dig through it. It doesn’t seem anyone has tasted it yet.

GRACE LOPEZ: Chelsea, dear, I know you tried…but we can’t even try this. It’s still raw.

PAUL QUINTON: Oh what a pity. The cake that has a DICK on its head, is raw dogging it. What about you, Kobra?

Jakeem Kobra walks over and uncovers his ‘cake’.



PAUL QUINTON: Jakeem, my friend, that is just a large pile of whipped cream.

Jakeem begins signing while Aurora Biggs can be seen walking up next to Paul.

AURORA BIGGS: He says he burnt his cake and didn’t have time to throw anything else together, so he just sprayed some whipped cream onto the plate.

PAUL QUINTON: While not the worst we’ve seen so far…unfortunately this disqualifies you from the competition. TJ?

Cooler TJ shakes his head as he walks over and lifts his cloche…



PAUL QUINTON: TJ, what happened?

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: On the way to bringing my cake over to the pedestal, I tripped over Tibbagu’s huge-ass clown feet.

PAUL QUINTON: Tough break. And since the cake was on the floor, we can’t really judge it for taste and only have this mess to judge it for looks. Sorry, bud. As for your bro-from-another-ho…Hated R…he is still off listening to his airpods somewhere.

COOLER TJ THOMPSON: Yeah, so stream Edamam-eh I mean, stream Muppet Money!

PAUL QUINTON: So finally, we have Jobber Joe. And Joe, I’m scared to see what you have there.



PAUL QUINTON: God, I’m going to have nightmares tonight. Judges, what will you do to calm the night terrors?

Cut to the judges.

MATTHEW KESSLER: It…just doesn’t taste right. What flavors did you put in it, Joe?

JOBBER JOE Rum, butterscotch, and grape flavored children’s Nyquil.

Cora spits out the cake again.

PAUL QUINTON: Where the hell did you get the Nyquil from?

JOBBER JOE I carry a bottle with me wherever I go.

PAUL QUINTON: Fuck, me. Did you producers run background checks on these peeps?

Paul shakes his head.

PAUL QUINTON: Judges, do you need time to decide a winner?

CHLOE BARR: We have already discussed it and while it was easy to decide a top two…it was kind of hard to pick the winner between those two. But in the end, we believe Brunhilde comes in second…and Hudson wins the challenge.

Confetti rains down from the ceiling, onto Hudson as we cut to the interview area. Hudson is standing, still in his apron. The apron has a bit of flour and is fairly clean. Hudson has lightened up a bit and seems more excited than usual.

HUDSON: That is how you bake a cake!

BENJAMIN BROADWATER: So would you consider yourself a baker then?

HUDSON: I do. Are you surprised? Just because I'm a big guy doesn't mean I'm not willing to bake the best damn cake you've ever tasted.

AL IAN: I wouldn't press him on this, he could talk about baking all day.

HUDSON: I'm a student of the game, what can I say. I can make any kind of cake you can think of to perfection. It's maybe the only skill I've worked on as much as my fitness.

AL IAN: That gives me a great idea for a new business! We make cakes specifically to people's interests and then sell it to them after! I already have the tools to know what everyone likes.

BENJAMIN BROADWATER: That sounds... concerning...

AL IAN: Oh don't worry, it's all perfectly legal... mostly...

HUDSON: My master would never do anything to hurt anyone. You have nothing to worry about.

And with that, we cut to commercial.









Coming back from the last commercial break, we find ourselves looking at a ring in what looks like a gymnasium. A tall skinny man stands in the middle of the ring, with salt-and-pepper stumble and matching short hair. Once he speaks, you remember him from the beginning of the show.

MARSHALL GREENE: Ladies and gentleman. Our first match-up of the night! HATED R has chosen to face, CHELSEA KENNEDY!!! But…BRUNHILDE LEICHENBERG HAS ALSO CHALLENGED HATED R…SO THIS A TRIPLE THREAT MATCH!!!



DING! DING! DING!

While Hated R generally tried to attack Chelsea, Brunhilde’s sights were mainly set on Hated R. From power moves from Brunhilde, to agile moves by Chelsea, to dance moves by Hated R…this match had everything. In the end, Hated R caught Chelsea out of nowhere with a kick to the gut…a moonwalk…and a DDT to finish her off with the Autograph Sesh. But his happiness was short lived, because before he could go for the pin…Brunhilde lifted him up into a military press and then dropped him with an F5, completing the Eisenpfeil. In pain, Hated R rolled away and slipped out of the ring. With Chelsea still out, Brunhilde covered her, hooking her leg.

ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!


DING! DING! DING!

MARSHALL GREENE: And your winner by pinfall…BRUNHILDE LEICHEBERG!!!!!!




Another cut away…another empty ring.

MARSHALL GREENE: Next up…we have HUDSON…who has challenged…JAKEEM KOBRA!!!



DING! DING! DING!

Hudson was quick to charge in, but Jakeem did his best to keep his distance, every now and again jumping forward with a hard strike or two. It was a few minutes in before Hudson managed to fully get his hands on Kobra, throwing the Suicidal Snake Charmer around like a sack of potatoes. But Hudson waited a little too long to continue his assault and Jakeem took that moment to lunge forward and shove his hand into Hudson’s mouth, locking onto him with Lockjaw. Hudson tried to fight the mandible claw…but even with him fighting, he soon lost the fight with consciousness. The ref checked on Hudson and turned towards the announcer’s table, calling for the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

MARSHALL GREENE: And your winner by ref stoppage…JAKEEM KOBRA!!!!!!





Final cut away..final empty ring.

MARSHALL GREENE: Our final match of the night is a battle royal between the individuals who did NOT win a challenge earlier and have NOT been challenged to a match.



DING! DING! DING!

All four men went at it, but within the first minute…both Jasiah and Cooler TJ teamed up to toss Jobber Joe out of the ring, eliminating him from competition. They tried to do the same to Tibbagu, but he was not clowning around with them. With Cooler TJ injured in the corner, a hip toss sent Jasiah flying over the ropes and was eliminated. Cooler heads did not prevail though, as Jasiah climbed up onto the apron and was jawing at Tibbagu, while Cooler TJ slowly snuck up behind The Babe Seeker. With an attempt to catch him off guard, TJ charged Tibbagu, but Tibbagu was ready…throwing TJ over the ropes with a back body drop for the final elimination.

DING! DING! DING!

MARSHALL GREENE: And your winner by elimination…TIBBAGU!!!

As the crew in attendance cheered for Tibbagu, we cut to Paul Quinton, who was standing in the crowd of stagehands.

PAUL QUINTON: Whelp, that is our show for tonight. I hope you enjoyed our first episode. We will see you all on January fourteenth where we will test our contestants on their music knowledge, subject them to the Pummel Pool, and then see just how much pop they’ve got in their bat. So from Pursuit Of The Ring and Project: Honor…I wish you a good night and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

The camera pans out as the stagehand continues cheering around Paul, as he gets farther and farther away from the camera. Until it finally just fades out to the Project: Honor logo.