THE F'N EDGE: EPISODE 3

As the graphics and music fade away, we see James Edgebrook and Julius Fairweather seated behind their joint desk, ready to deliver another episode of The F’n Edge!

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: What’s up, motherfuckers?

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Welcome to another edition of The F’n Edge. I’m your host, James Edgebrook…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Like hell you are! I’m your host, Julius Fairweather, and this is my sidekick, apprentice, and protege in the ways of motherfucking journalism, James Edgebrook!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: That doesn’t even make sense! I’ve been doing this longer than you!

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Yeah, and that’s the only thing you can claim that’s longer than something of mine…

JAMES EDGEBROOK: And just what is that supposed to mean?

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: It means that you make Jason Short look like a professional pole vaulter. Rest in peace, little motherfucker…

JAMES EDGEBROOK: I don’t think I like what you’re insinuating, and frankly, that vulgarity is no way to start the show.

Julius turns in his chair to glare at his co-host with bulging eyes…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Now look here, motherfucker. I missed out on another chance to be Prime Champion, I lost another motherfucking tag team partner, and I’m not only being forced to team up with your lanky ass, but with Slade Castle too! So, if I want to start the motherfucking show by making fun of your inadequate peen, that’s exactly what I’m gonna fucking do! If you and those motherfucking producers in the motherfucking booth don’t like it, they can try to censor my *bleep* or just cut directly into a commercial until I feel like cooperate…*



When we come back from commercial break, there is a thin layer of smoke wafting around the upper part of the studio. Julius seems to have gotten his temper under control, and as James Edgebrook starts to speak, it’s hard to ignore how bloodshot his eyes have become.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Welcome back to The F’n Edge. I’d like to apologize for my co-host’s attitude as we began tonight’s program…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: …motherfuckers.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: …ahem…but after taking a few moments to collect himself, I think Julius and I are ready to continue!

James waves his hand in front of his face in an attempt to clear the smoke from his eyes before we go to the first graphic of this week’s Elite 10.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: While this is certainly not where my co-host would like to be in the rankings, it’s not too bad considering the amount of talent we currently have in Project: Honor. While Julius did come up short in his quest for the Prime Championship…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: …motherfucker…

JAMES EDGEBROOK: …he was able to retain the Tag Team Championships…sort of. I’m not even sure how to classify it since he went from his chosen partner to one that wasn’t of his choosing. Was it a loss? A win? A draw? I have no idea, and that’s why Julius doesn’t break the top ten this week.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: Next we have the reigning Gatekeeper Champion coming in at number ten. While this is a slight drop for Angelo, it’s not really anything that’s due to his own work in the ring. While he continues to capture the wins, it’s hard to say that Kayla and Noah Hope are top competitors. However, if he can retain against someone like LeeAnn Morgan at Unbreakable Resolution, we may just see him rise in the rankings once again.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Seriously? You’re gonna make me talk about this motherfucker? Fine. Slade lost his Noble Title and that knocked his ass down a little bit, but then the sneaky little motherfucker decided to play games and got himself one half of the tag team belts. Lil’ Petey deserved better than that, and if it hadn’t been for Havoc, he’d still be my co-champion. So now I’m carrying Castle until I can figure out a way to get rid of him, so expect him to rise back up in the rankings with me as his partner!


JAMES EDGEBROOK: Proving Ground ended its year in shocking fashion when Ozymandias was dethroned after a record-setting reign as champion. Because of that, it’s difficult to score The Butcher of Reine this week, as he’s still the number one contender to the Legacy Title and a loss to someone of Arata Asakura’s caliber is hardly a career low. For now, he settles in at number 8, and only time will tell if his upcoming match against Syndicate will propel him back up or knock him from the list completely.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: I’m left talking about another True Society motherfucker? Did you do this shit on purpose, Jimmy?

JAMES EDGEBROOK: No I…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Whatever. This is the psychopath that Slade dropped his Noble Title to, and as such, Billy has climbed the rankings accordingly. No one has been able to defend that belt successfully and with motherfuckers like Michael Bishop, Alyssa Grace, Savannah Sunshine, and Slade Castle still out there, it’s hard to tell if Billy will have any luck breaking that curse.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: With no appearance this week, MYOJIN has dropped by a couple of spots, but that’s hardly cause for concern. Taking a week off to prepare before their title match against Casanova English may be a wise move that advances The Shining Star on our list after Unbreakable Resolution. For now, MYOJIN is literally sitting pretty at number six, and as long as they keep the X-Factor Title in their possession, I don’t see them leaving the list anytime soon.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Are you fucking kidding me? Another one? Well let me tell you a little something about this little…

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Julius! Please…be nice…

Julius shoots his co-host a glare as his nostrils flare and his lip trembles.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Fine. I can be professional. Valkyrie didn’t move anywhere new on this motherfucking list, cause Arik Holt keeps throwing her easy ones down the middle as if they were in some kind of motherfucking softball league. Yeah, she kept the title, but wasn’t anyone betting on Logan Burgess in that motherfucker to begin with. Maybe if she gets past Hyde, Wright, and Baker, we’ll reconsider bumping her up a spot or two. Then again, one of them just might take that gold and send her ass spiraling out of the top ten altogether!


JAMES EDGEBROOK: Another warrior moving up on this week’s list, Casanova English is fresh off a successful Warrior Rising Title defense, which many believe may have been his toughest challenge so far. Archimedes J. Manson and Johnny Levy were both in a prime position to take the gold, making English’s defense all the more meaningful. With his opportunity against MYOJIN and the X-Factor Title approaching, we may very well see Casanova rise even further in our Elite Ten.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: The biggest jump on the list this week goes to the new Grand Champion, Arata Asakura. Beating Ozymandias for the belt is a major motherfucking accomplishment, so moving from the ninth spot all the way to number three seems appropriate. The real question is how long Arata can stay this high on the list when Proving Ground officials are throwing challengers like Emmanuelle in his path! Maybe you motherfuckers could've given the new champion a chance to breathe first!


JAMES EDGEBROOK: Much in the same way Angelo Caito started our list, it’s not a matter of anything Syndicate has done that’s knocked him down a spot, but more a case of competition. While he was simply impressive in what was supposed to be a Six Person Tag Team Match and turned into a Handicap Match, the recent lack of singles success has worked against Syndicate this week. Meanwhile, others on our list have successfully defended championships against top contenders. Which brings us to the number one ranked warrior in our Elite Ten this week…


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: No way. Nuh-uh. Not happening.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Julius…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: That motherfucker may have beaten me to win the belt, but he couldn’t pin me to retain it! He had to pin Valkyrie’s stand-in instead! I ain’t gonna praise that motherfucker for anything!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Maybe I should take this one…?

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Take it and shove it right up your ass for all I care! The only way I’m referring to that motherfucker as number one is when I’ve got my middle finger in his face!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Well then…Havoc did successfully retain his Prime Championship at Wired Consequences, and he did so against my co-host and Druscilla White. That’s a win over some stiff competition, and enough to catapult him ahead of The Legacy Champion, at least for this week. Of course we all saw a certain British Raven return, and one can only assume she’ll be looking to claim her own spot in our Elite Ten sooner rather than later. That does it for this week’s list, but we’ll be right back with our Medals of Honor! Don’t go anywhere!





JAMES EDGEBROOK: Welcome back to the F’n Edge! After the recent Wired Consequences II and Proving Ground: Season’s Beatings, our fans have given us plenty of reactions to pour through. We’ve taken that feedback and compiled another edition of Medals of Honor!

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: I think Jimmy meant to say, ‘Motherfucking Medals of Honor’.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Um…sure. Despite having a lot of great feedback, several of our categories were extremely close. With that in mind, we’ll also be revealing our runners up. So, without further ado…



JAMES EDGEBROOK: Billy Bennet has made a big impact since joining the ranks of Fallout, and in one of the closest matches to call at Wired Consequences, she came out as the new Noble Champion. Before that ever took place, she had a lot of…interesting…things to say and turned a lot of heads with her captivating promo, ‘Negotiation’s Over’.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Crazy-ass Billy led the pack this week, but we’d be remiss if we didn’t point out the determination and drive we saw from Arata Asakura in his ‘Ace of Proving Ground’ promo. We’ve seen motherfuckers talk trash to Ozymandias before but being able to back it up is usually a different story. Still, Billy takes the top spot this week. So for delivering the goods on the mic and in front of the camera, Billy earned herself a Medal of Honor. Congrats, motherfucker!



JAMES EDGEBROOK: This one wasn’t as close as our previous category, as it seems our fans were salivating in anticipation of Elena DeDraca’s return to Project: Honor. While it was short, sweet, and to the point, the majority of you chose her return at the end of Wired Consequences as the Best Segment of the Week. I’m not sure Havoc would agree, but we stand behind that decision, nonetheless.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Speaking of standing behind things, Arik Holt better take a step back because his indecent proposal for Savannah Sunshine was our runner up. That creepy motherfucker got his little, black heart broken, and I personally laughed my ass off when it happened. Losing a Prime Title Match can bring a motherfucker down but watching Arik Holt get shut down like a Chipotle with a Hepatitis outbreak brought me right back up.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Yet despite that uplifting series of segments for True Society haters, it could not topple the British Raven’s surprise return. So, as my co-host would say, for coming back and delivering some impact, you’ve just earned a Medal of Honor. Congratulations, motherfucker!

Julius slowly turns and gives his co-host a bizarre expression.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Maybe you should leave that part to me…

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Yeah…it does seem to roll off your tongue better than mine.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: That’s what she said…



JAMES EDGEBROOK: When it comes to our biggest feud of the week, it’s hard to look past a pair of competitors who not only hate each other, but also are gearing up for a battle with the Project: Honor Legacy Title at stake. Even before losing the Grand Championship to Arata Asakura, Ozymandias made it known that his sights were on that prize and the man who currently holds it. After throwing Syndicate off the fourth floor of the Mall of America, The LA Outlaw retaliated this week by posing as Rapture and blatantly interfering in Ozy’s match against Arata. Whether or not that was the deciding factor in The Butcher’s loss remains to be seen, but it certainly cannot be overlooked. With Syndicate set to defend against Ozymandias at Unbreakable Resolution, I can’t think of a single feud in the company that is hotter than this one.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: I will agree with you on that one, Little Jimmy. Although, something has to be said about the bad blood between Jason Long and Jacob Steele. Long has found his road back to championship gold blocked by Steele’s return, and those two men had a banger of a match at Wired Consequences. I’m surprised they both made it out alive. Still, even that bad blood can’t measure up to what we’re about to see between Syndi and Oz. So, for hating each other and making the Legacy Title the focal point of Unbreakable Resolution, you two just earned a Medal of Honor. Congrats, motherfuckers!



JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Aw, shit. Seriously? Come on, motherfuckers! What else was I supposed to do?

JAMES EDGEBROOK: That’s a great point, Julius. My co-host found himself in a tough situation at Wired Consequences when Slade Castle chose him to be his tag team partner, and in an attempt to keep the belts with himself and Petey, Julius tried to put himself through a barbed wire table not once, but twice.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Seemed like a logical thing to do at the time…

JAMES EDGEBROOK: While over on Proving Ground, Ozymandias didn’t take kindly to the lumberjacks surrounding the ring during his title match. While both he and Arata took out their frustrations on multiple competitors at ringside, it was Ozy’s dive onto a mass of humanity that nearly took home this week’s Medal.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: My vote went to Ozy, but I guess the fans have the final say. So, for trying to eliminate myself from my own match, I’ve just earned a Medal of Honor. Congratulations to me, motherfuckers.



JAMES EDGEBROOK: We had another close call when it came to the best match between both shows, but this week the award goes to Havoc’s Title defense against Druscilla White and Julius Fairweather. The fans loved the extreme action that took place, and with it being between three participants instead of just two, it edged out our runner up. Two medals on your own show, Julius? I sincerely hope you don’t get any heat for that…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Shut the fuck up, Jimmy! The last time you had a medal, your momma cut it out of a Wheaties box!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Hey! I cherished that medal…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Just like our fans also cherished the championship match between Arata Asakura and Ozymandias. The Grand and Prime Titles got most of the love this week, even if the Noble Title Match was in contention for a while.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Yet in a week full of entertaining matches, it’s only right that the main event of Wired Consequences takes home the gold. We’re glad you enjoyed it as much as we did. So, for nearly killing each other over Fallout’s biggest prize, Havoc, Druscilla, and Julius have earned a Medal of Honor…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: ...congratulations, motherfuckers!



JAMES EDGEBROOK: It’s somewhat fitting that our last award of the week was the closest to call. In fact, it was very nearly a tie. However, in the overall scheme of things, the Grand Title slightly trumps the Noble Title, which makes the new Grand Champion, Arata Asakura, our Superstar of the week.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: In a race that included Havoc, Syndicate, and even that broken-hearted little monkey, Arik Holt, Billy Bennett came in at number two. The Noble Championship Match deserves a lot of love, but in a week where both the Prime and Grand titles were on the line, it was slightly overshadowed. That still doesn’t diminish Billy Bennett’s achievement, or the fact that she made it so my new tag team partner can’t call himself a double champ. I’ll take those little victories where I can find them.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: So for ending Ozymandias’ six-month reign of terror and doing what many thought was impossible, Arata Asakura has earned a Medal of Honor…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Congratulations, motherfucker! Now we’ll be right back after a brief word from our sponsors with our predictions for this week’s Fallout and Unbreakable Resolution!




JAMES EDGEBROOK: Before we get started, we should let everyone at home know where we currently stand on our predictions…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: …shit.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Over the course of two episodes, I currently stand at twenty correct predictions while my co-host comes in at eighteen…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Fuck you, Jimmy! It’s no coincidence that our first episode has disappeared from the archive and those numbers can’t be verified!

JAMES EDGEBROOK: I have no idea what you’re talking about. Shall we get started?

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Whatever…



JAMES EDGEBROOK: James Ranger hasn’t been able to show us much as of late, so I’m going with the perennial underdog in this one. Rapture picks up a rare win.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: You know what? You’re right but for the wrong reasons. Rapture is running with a crew now. The KaVengers may be a pathetic group of losers, but that might just give Rapture enough confidence to start winning.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: There’s some rumors swirling around that at least one of these motherfuckers are on their way out of the company. That still ain’t gonna influence my pick here. Grace, Bishop, and Sawyer are taking this one.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: I can’t disagree with you, Julius. There’s too much star power on the team you’ve picked to win, and I don’t think McBride, Burgess, and Danger will be able to overcome that.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: Look at the roll that Billy Bennett and Havoc are on right now. I don’t care how much people get behind the underdog duo of ‘Hey, Ho’, Earl and Latoya aren’t taking this one away from the champions.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Everyone knows I hate the motherfucking True Society, but I’m not gonna let that cloud my judgement on this motherfucking match. Bennett and Havoc are taking this one, and that’s all there is to it.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Three matches in and we’re in total agreement? Interesting…


JAMES EDGEBROOK: Now this is an interesting match-up. The Ascension Title is on the line and Valkyrie has had an amazing reign, but I think this is where it comes to an end. I’m going with Mr. Wright to pull off the upset and walk out as the new champion.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: I may not like her, and I didn’t have many nice things to say during our Elite Ten segment, but I’m not gonna argue with the results she gets. Valkyrie is looking to prove that she’s the baddest bitch in the Ascension division even without Arik Holt holding her hand. I say Robi retains here, even if I’m not happy about it.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Fallout’s Main Event is a crazy motherfucker, and I’m sure everyone out there expects me to have the confidence to bet on myself as usual. The thing is, the winner of this clusterfuck has to retrieve the prize and anything could happen. I’m gonna do my damnedest to win, but for now I’ll put my ego aside and pick someone other than myself. So, I’m going with the returning Elena DeDraca to retrieve the prize while I’m busy throwing Royales with Cheese at everything that moves.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Now that’s something I didn't see coming. It looks like we’re ending our Fallout predictions in agreement yet again, because Elena is back with a vengeance and she’ll be looking to make a statement here. DeDraca with the hard-fought victory in this one.



JAMES EDGEBROOK: Moving on to Proving Ground’s exclusive Pay-Per-View, the preshow is going to feature the debut of Lexi Gold as she takes on Guy. Lexi has earned quite an impressive reputation from her work in other promotions, whereas Guy can pop off a decent joke once in a while. I’m going with Lexi here. No contest.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Being a member of the KaVengers isn’t going to help Guy out at all. Lexi is looking to come into Project: Honor strong, and there’s no way he’s gonna stop her. Lexi Gold picks up the win.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: How can you not love the new team of Pepper Jack Cheese? Percival has shown a ton of improvement in the ring, and I think Serrano will benefit from having a tag team partner. These two are going to shock a lot of people and this is just the beginning.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Time to put away the crack pipe, Jimmy. I know I credited the KaVengers with Rapture getting a win on Fallout, but these two are going up against an elite team in Valentine and Hunter. I don’t see the Phantom Troupe giving up a loss to the chef and the sewer dweller.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: The Gatekeeper Championship is on the line in this one, and there’s a reason Angelo Caito has been in our Elite Ten for the past few weeks. Brick or no brick, that motherfucker is gonna retain the title here.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: I disagree, Julius. While Angelo has been impressive, I’m not sure he’s defended the title against someone the caliber of LeeAnn Morgan. Despite her loss in the four-way match last week, I still think she has what it takes to dethrone the champion in this one.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: We’ve seen an interesting feud brewing between these two over the past few weeks. Crane took out TJ in an arena bathroom after his team lost to TJ’s in a six-person tag match, and last week TJ fired back by showing up during Crane’s brawl in Rockefeller Center with John Blade. Ultimately, I think Douglas Crane gets the last laugh by winning this grudge match.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: I don’t bet against my Big Drip brethren very often, and I’m not gonna do it here. Crane is looking to make a name for himself, but I think he bit off more than he can chew against TJ Thompson. The Hip Beast is gonna get the win in this one, but it may not be easy.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: In a way, this match seems to have come out of nowhere. Levy recently lost his opportunity at the Warrior Rising Championship, and Swindle has faced some bad luck of his own lately. Still, Shelldrake was a top contender against Ozymandias not that long ago, and I think he begins his comeback here with a win over Johnny Levy.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: For me, this is one of the toughest matches to predict on the undercard. Part of me wants to agree with you, but after no-showing last week, we may have already seen the best of Swindle Shelldrake. Levy is on the rise, and I think he continues to impress by beating a main event talent like The Kraken at the Pay-Per-View.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: First up, props to the motherfucker who put those promotional graphics together. Secondly, when you’ve got a match between some hungry motherfuckers looking to make names for themselves and another group that’s already established, I almost always go with those hungry underdogs. I’m picking Galagher, Jade, Benson, and Giovanni to pick up the win and earn themselves a future shot at the Warrior Rising Title.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Oh, Julius. You can be so naive in your predictions. The OG’s have John freaking Blade! Officer Greyfield! The Prince of Purrfection! Lastly, they also have Diana who won last week’s North Pole Match! The newcomers have no idea what they’re in for against their stacked team of opponents.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: This match is rather unique. On one hand, it can’t be denied that Tara Fenix is one of Proving Ground’s elite competitors. On the other hand, we know so little about Kurtis Slayne that it makes this one difficult to pick. Still, Slayne has a big pair to call out Tara for an unsanctioned match, and I think he’ll have something up his sleeve. I’m going with the upset from Kurtis Slayne in this one.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Valid points, Jimmy. Here’s the thing; Slayne admitted to taking out Indy Darling, who happens to be a good friend of mine. If I wasn’t busy with Fallout, I’d show up to knock him senseless myself. He’s got some kind of grudge against Indy and Clive Darling, claiming he’s the black sheep of the family. Well picking a fight with Tara Fenix isn’t gonna do him any favors. I hope she beats his ass and sends him right back to Project: Underground. The Clive Darling Tournament Champion gets the win here, and I hope she doesn’t take it easy on the motherfucker.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Speaking of Indy, MYOJIN is well on their way to toppling his run as X-Factor Champion. The Shining Star is focused and at one hundred percent. The Warrior Rising Champion may prove to be a tough opponent, but MYOJIN is gonna persevere and pull this one out. There’s no doubt in my mind that this could be a Darkhorse for match of the night, but in the end, MYOJIN will still be the champion.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: We saw Casanova English pass MYOJIN in our Elite Ten this week, and that’s no coincidence. He has all the tools needed to become a rare double champion in Project: Honor. No one has had a run with the Warrior Rising Title like Casanova since Emmanuelle and look where she’s at on this card. I think this is English’s coming out party and he picks up the win at MYOJIN’s expense, handing a rare loss to the Shining Star.


JAMES EDGEBROOK: What an amazing match this is going to be. Project: Honor as a whole was shocked when the announcement was made that Emmanuelle would receive a Grand Championship Match upon her return, and I believe The Platinum Standard is going to capitalize on this opportunity. Arata may be one of Emmanuelle’s toughest opponents to date, but he’s coming off a physical war with Ozymandias and that’s going to play a factor. I just don’t see how Arata can defeat Ozymandias for the belt one week, and then turn around to defend it against someone the caliber of Emmanuelle. It’s a short reign for Arata as The Platinum Standard shocks the world.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: There’s no doubt this is another tough one to call, but I think you’re looking at it all wrong. Arata just captured that title, and I don’t think he’s the kind of man to immediately become complacent. He’s gonna want to defend that motherfucker with everything he has, and in the end that’s gonna be just a little more than Emmanuelle can handle. Arata with the successful defense here.


JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Last but most certainly not least, Ozymandias and Syndicate finally clash for the Project: Honor Legacy Championship. With what we’ve seen so far, I know who I’m putting my money on, and that’s The Butcher of Reine. Something tells me he’s been hungry for this shot for a long time, and I don’t think he’ll let it slip through his fingers. All Syndicate did by showing up during Ozy’s Grand Title defense was add fuel to the fire and possibly sign his own death warrant. Ozymandias becomes the new Legacy Champion at Unbreakable Resolution.

JAMES EDGEBROOK: We’ve definitely disagreed a lot more on this card than we did for Fallout, and we’re not done yet. Ozymandias is a beaten man now that he’s dropped the Grand Championship. The cracks in his armor are showing and everyone finally knows that he can be beaten. Syndicate is too smart for Ozymandias, plain and simple. We’re talking about the man who shocked the world by beating Elena DeDraca, and he’s going to do it one more time by defeating the very mortal, and beatable, Ozymandias.

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: That about does it for this week, Jimmy, but before we go, I’d like to send out a very special thank you to one of our sponsors! Please welcome the owner of Call Me Robert GFX n’ Shit…Robert!

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JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: And thank you for sponsoring The F’n Edge, Robert! As for you, Jimmy…

JAMES EDGEBROOK: Wait, Julius. I know neither of us are happy about having to share a show, and that there’s been some bad blood between us in the past. I just want to say, in honor of the holiday season, how much I appreciate this opportunity to get to know you better and to overcome our ridiculous grudge. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Julius.

For a moment, it looks as if Julius doesn’t know how to respond. He gives James a blank stare as the uncomfortable silence grows until…

JULIUS FAIRWEATHER: Fuck you and the reindeer you rode in on, James Edgebrook! Until next time, this is your host of The F’n Edge, Julius Fairweather, saying be cool or be gone!