Post by darkcircle on Dec 22, 2021 15:55:40 GMT -5
{The camera starts up and we find ourselves at the Oath, a craft beer "sanctuary" in Sleepy Hollow New York where we find Vergil Urahara and some of his merry band of misfits in the form of Jason Wraith, Kyle, DJ, and the newest member of the Project Honor roster in the form of Trafalgar Law...who is looking really embarrassed for some reason}
Vergil: Come come now, Young Law, you must eat and keep up your strength my good son!
Law: But Mister Urahara, sir. I lost my debut match for the company and yet you're treating me like I've won it??
Wraith:....because he's the boss and he's paying for lunch?
Law: I understand that, Mister Wraith, but I *lost*...in my debut.
Vergil: So, Kyle lost in his debut for Zion Wrestling but you don't see him all depressed about it.
{Law looks over at Kyle who simply shrugs in return}
Kyle: So I got a little bit overconfident, bite me.
DJ: I dunno...I think Serena might though if you keep being sweet on her.
{Kyle drops his fork out of shock as his head makes a whip-snap like sound as he just kind of *STARES* at his tag team partner for saying that that he can believe it}
Vergil: Whelp, you done and did it now DJ....you done went and broke your tag team partner!
{The table then erupts into a huge hail of laughter as Kyle's face turns an impressive shade of red}
<Cue Up: "Little Old Lady from Pasadena">
{Vergil pulls out his iPhone and answers it}
Vergil: Hello...really, you don't say? Well I don't care who came up with that one, it'll be a bitch to clean up afterwards...and whose idea was it then to have that kind of match?
{Vergil blinks a couple of times before shaking his head then rolling his eyes}
Vergil: Alrighty then, thanks for the info. Catch you later.
{Vergil then hangs up his phone and slips it back inside of his jacket as Wraith looks at him with a questioning look}
Wraith: Alright, so what's up?
Vergil: The Troupe's match for Project Honor this week...it's a hog pen match.
DJ: Excuse me...a what now?
Vergil: A hog pen match. You know, a place where you...
DJ: I know what a hog pen is, I'm just...what the fuck man?
Kyle: Did Project Honor suddenly get a new booker from the Bronx all of a sudden?
Vergil: I don't think so. At least you boys are not in one of the other godawful matches...I heard that the dark matches have gotten some really messed up pumpkin spice dusted bits of mayhem.
Law: Yeah, like that stocking stuffer match..what is it, some kind of uber casket match?
Wraith: At least it's not like that one time that Vergil and I had to fight the Circle Jerks during that one match over in...
{Wraith suddenly stops talking as Vergil actually shoots him a "Look of Death" (trademark pending) which makes the other man shut up}
Vergil: At any rate, let's finish up the food and head on out of here.
{The screen then fades to black}
======================================
{The screen comes back from black and we see both halves of the Phantom Troupe standing outside on a bridge}
DJ: Ladies and Gentlemen, this week on a very festive edition of Proving Ground, your future Project Honor World Tag Team champions in the Phantom Troupe of myself, the "Elegant Assassin" DJ Hunter, and the big man Kyle "Bam Bam" Valentine, will be facing off against none other than Giovanni and Malachite Minj in a hog pen match.
Kyle: While I can't say that this match will be enjoyable, folks, we can promise you that it'll be a bit of bloody hell for our opponents...especially for you, Giovanni.
DJ: You know, I've fought people who thought they were all artsy in the past and each time they just proved that they were nothing more than one hell of a bad joke. I mean I fought a guy who actually thought he was the influence of the main character from that one movie, Zoolander.
Kyle: I'm glad to have missed that one actually.
DJ: What, did you like that movie?
Kyle: Not particularly but some people need to really check their shit sanity wise before starting to become a professional wrestler.
DJ: Kind of like Arata Asakura and his whole "I'm actually a Japanese god" thing?
Kyle: Exactly, but that's not the point here today because Gio. You can prepare for this match as much as you want to...but this isn't some production of the Black Swan and this is sure as *shit* isn't a ballet company.
This is Project freaking Honor, and you're here to have a fucking fight against two of the top tier specialists in that exact field here this weekend. Be it in a puddle of mud or not, this is the career that you've chosen and if you want to be seen as an "artiste" so badly, then might I suggest that you toss your wrestling boots over into the Hudson River with the rest of the garbage because come the end of our match, Gio, you'll be joining them.
DJ: Damn partner, where's that coming from?
Kyle: It's coming from the fact that I'm sick and fucking tired of living jokes like this Giovanni fuck thinking that we're nothing more than a couple of jokes just like he is, DJ.
Am I upset about being stuck in a stupid gimmick match, yes. But while I'm upset about it, I'm also going to fucking do the match because I'm a professional and that's how we get shit done...because not only am I a professional, but like DJ here, as always I'm looking for a fight and at Proving Ground this week, that's exactly what's going to happen, right partner?
DJ: They say that true test of an artist or a wrestler is to understand the lengths that you're willing to go for in the name of your chosen art and for the Phantom Troupe, we've always gone that extra mile to thrown down extra hard. Yeah, Lil Petey though he was real clever in his promo the first time that the Troupe came after those belts of his and Merryweather's...but that's the funny thing about evolution, it always works better with the struggle!
You see no other team on this company's entire fucking roster can do the things that we do because nobody busts their collective asses like we do and this week, right here on Proving Ground, we'll be more than happy to once more prove that fact a reality with the help from Giovanni and Minj.
Speaking of which, has anyone heard from that joker lately?
{Kyle and DJ look at each other and then shake their heads before Kyle points at the camera}
Kyle: Oi, Mitch...you heard anything either?
Mitch: <from the other side of the camera> Nope, but maybe he's enjoying too much of the catnip?
Kyle:...what's that supposed to mean?
Mitch: Wait...you haven't even seen Monsieur Minj?
{Both halves of the Troupe shake their heads}
Mitch: Um...yeah...I ain't going to explain this one.
DJ: Alright, that's fair....wait, isn't Minj the catboi?
{The camera nods as Mitch does as well causing Kyle to roll his eyes as DJ gives a rather weak chuckle}
DJ: Well, at least he's honest with himself.
Kyle: In the long run however, it doesn't make a lick of difference who the bookers put in front of us because sooner or later, our third guy will be making his debut for Project Honor and he's the last guy that anyone would think to be apart of this unit right here.
So Gio and Minj, this weekend as you're standing knee deep in the same mud as the Phantom Troupe the only real question that you'll need to be asking yourselves is just how far are the two of you really willing to go, just how far are you willing to fight in order to try and tear down the future champions of Project Honor.
How much blood are you going to be willing to shed, how much pain are you going to be willing to give to your chosen "art" in the end?
DJ: All of those things are the easy questions, because the answer is always going to be "never enough" because when it comes to the myself and Kyle here...that's the most violent of truths because we are violent by design and tonight, tonight we show case what the future has in hold for the tag division.
Kyle: And why artists like the two of you are simply doomed to teach art on public access television.
{The screen fades to black}
Vergil: Come come now, Young Law, you must eat and keep up your strength my good son!
Law: But Mister Urahara, sir. I lost my debut match for the company and yet you're treating me like I've won it??
Wraith:....because he's the boss and he's paying for lunch?
Law: I understand that, Mister Wraith, but I *lost*...in my debut.
Vergil: So, Kyle lost in his debut for Zion Wrestling but you don't see him all depressed about it.
{Law looks over at Kyle who simply shrugs in return}
Kyle: So I got a little bit overconfident, bite me.
DJ: I dunno...I think Serena might though if you keep being sweet on her.
{Kyle drops his fork out of shock as his head makes a whip-snap like sound as he just kind of *STARES* at his tag team partner for saying that that he can believe it}
Vergil: Whelp, you done and did it now DJ....you done went and broke your tag team partner!
{The table then erupts into a huge hail of laughter as Kyle's face turns an impressive shade of red}
<Cue Up: "Little Old Lady from Pasadena">
{Vergil pulls out his iPhone and answers it}
Vergil: Hello...really, you don't say? Well I don't care who came up with that one, it'll be a bitch to clean up afterwards...and whose idea was it then to have that kind of match?
{Vergil blinks a couple of times before shaking his head then rolling his eyes}
Vergil: Alrighty then, thanks for the info. Catch you later.
{Vergil then hangs up his phone and slips it back inside of his jacket as Wraith looks at him with a questioning look}
Wraith: Alright, so what's up?
Vergil: The Troupe's match for Project Honor this week...it's a hog pen match.
DJ: Excuse me...a what now?
Vergil: A hog pen match. You know, a place where you...
DJ: I know what a hog pen is, I'm just...what the fuck man?
Kyle: Did Project Honor suddenly get a new booker from the Bronx all of a sudden?
Vergil: I don't think so. At least you boys are not in one of the other godawful matches...I heard that the dark matches have gotten some really messed up pumpkin spice dusted bits of mayhem.
Law: Yeah, like that stocking stuffer match..what is it, some kind of uber casket match?
Wraith: At least it's not like that one time that Vergil and I had to fight the Circle Jerks during that one match over in...
{Wraith suddenly stops talking as Vergil actually shoots him a "Look of Death" (trademark pending) which makes the other man shut up}
Vergil: At any rate, let's finish up the food and head on out of here.
{The screen then fades to black}
======================================
{The screen comes back from black and we see both halves of the Phantom Troupe standing outside on a bridge}
DJ: Ladies and Gentlemen, this week on a very festive edition of Proving Ground, your future Project Honor World Tag Team champions in the Phantom Troupe of myself, the "Elegant Assassin" DJ Hunter, and the big man Kyle "Bam Bam" Valentine, will be facing off against none other than Giovanni and Malachite Minj in a hog pen match.
Kyle: While I can't say that this match will be enjoyable, folks, we can promise you that it'll be a bit of bloody hell for our opponents...especially for you, Giovanni.
DJ: You know, I've fought people who thought they were all artsy in the past and each time they just proved that they were nothing more than one hell of a bad joke. I mean I fought a guy who actually thought he was the influence of the main character from that one movie, Zoolander.
Kyle: I'm glad to have missed that one actually.
DJ: What, did you like that movie?
Kyle: Not particularly but some people need to really check their shit sanity wise before starting to become a professional wrestler.
DJ: Kind of like Arata Asakura and his whole "I'm actually a Japanese god" thing?
Kyle: Exactly, but that's not the point here today because Gio. You can prepare for this match as much as you want to...but this isn't some production of the Black Swan and this is sure as *shit* isn't a ballet company.
This is Project freaking Honor, and you're here to have a fucking fight against two of the top tier specialists in that exact field here this weekend. Be it in a puddle of mud or not, this is the career that you've chosen and if you want to be seen as an "artiste" so badly, then might I suggest that you toss your wrestling boots over into the Hudson River with the rest of the garbage because come the end of our match, Gio, you'll be joining them.
DJ: Damn partner, where's that coming from?
Kyle: It's coming from the fact that I'm sick and fucking tired of living jokes like this Giovanni fuck thinking that we're nothing more than a couple of jokes just like he is, DJ.
Am I upset about being stuck in a stupid gimmick match, yes. But while I'm upset about it, I'm also going to fucking do the match because I'm a professional and that's how we get shit done...because not only am I a professional, but like DJ here, as always I'm looking for a fight and at Proving Ground this week, that's exactly what's going to happen, right partner?
DJ: They say that true test of an artist or a wrestler is to understand the lengths that you're willing to go for in the name of your chosen art and for the Phantom Troupe, we've always gone that extra mile to thrown down extra hard. Yeah, Lil Petey though he was real clever in his promo the first time that the Troupe came after those belts of his and Merryweather's...but that's the funny thing about evolution, it always works better with the struggle!
You see no other team on this company's entire fucking roster can do the things that we do because nobody busts their collective asses like we do and this week, right here on Proving Ground, we'll be more than happy to once more prove that fact a reality with the help from Giovanni and Minj.
Speaking of which, has anyone heard from that joker lately?
{Kyle and DJ look at each other and then shake their heads before Kyle points at the camera}
Kyle: Oi, Mitch...you heard anything either?
Mitch: <from the other side of the camera> Nope, but maybe he's enjoying too much of the catnip?
Kyle:...what's that supposed to mean?
Mitch: Wait...you haven't even seen Monsieur Minj?
{Both halves of the Troupe shake their heads}
Mitch: Um...yeah...I ain't going to explain this one.
DJ: Alright, that's fair....wait, isn't Minj the catboi?
{The camera nods as Mitch does as well causing Kyle to roll his eyes as DJ gives a rather weak chuckle}
DJ: Well, at least he's honest with himself.
Kyle: In the long run however, it doesn't make a lick of difference who the bookers put in front of us because sooner or later, our third guy will be making his debut for Project Honor and he's the last guy that anyone would think to be apart of this unit right here.
So Gio and Minj, this weekend as you're standing knee deep in the same mud as the Phantom Troupe the only real question that you'll need to be asking yourselves is just how far are the two of you really willing to go, just how far are you willing to fight in order to try and tear down the future champions of Project Honor.
How much blood are you going to be willing to shed, how much pain are you going to be willing to give to your chosen "art" in the end?
DJ: All of those things are the easy questions, because the answer is always going to be "never enough" because when it comes to the myself and Kyle here...that's the most violent of truths because we are violent by design and tonight, tonight we show case what the future has in hold for the tag division.
Kyle: And why artists like the two of you are simply doomed to teach art on public access television.
{The screen fades to black}