Post by Savannah Sunshine. on Dec 7, 2021 23:53:57 GMT -5
Oh, block it all out
The voices so loud, sayin'
"Why did you let her go?"
Does it make you feel sad
That the love that you're lookin' for
Is the love that you had
Now you're out in the world, searchin' for your soul
Scared not to be hip, scared to get old
Chasin' make-believe status, last time you felt free
Was when none of that shit mattered 'cause you were with me
The voices so loud, sayin'
"Why did you let her go?"
Does it make you feel sad
That the love that you're lookin' for
Is the love that you had
Now you're out in the world, searchin' for your soul
Scared not to be hip, scared to get old
Chasin' make-believe status, last time you felt free
Was when none of that shit mattered 'cause you were with me
TUESDAY DECEMBER 7TH, 2021
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA
THE ANDREWS' HOUSEHOLD
It had been a long week for Savannah, between preparations for Project: Underground and then having to worry about making it back in time for Fallout. She had so much on her plate, including thinking about how The Purge had gone for her. The echoing reminders that rang through her head, reminders she didn't want nor need. Though, she dug into her pocket for that coin that she had found in the midst of all the kerfuffle. She flips the coin over and over in between her fingers, lets the cold of the coin remind her that she has something to fight for at Wired Consequences. Though, the last time she had held the Noble Championship, it had not been for very long. The constant reminder thanks to Arik Holt rang through her mind even now. He's stolen so many opportunities from you. It's always been him before you. He only cares about himself. He doesn't love you the way I love you. Her fist smashes through the mirror that's a few feet away, glass shattering into a pile at her feet and she curses lightly. Knocking coming to the guest bedroom a moment later as her father pops his head into the room, noting the mess that had come from the mirror.
"Savannah Marie, what is going on in here?" Jaxon wastes no time and doesn't give Savannah time to even respond, instead he walks inside and carefully moves her onto the edge of the bed. First aid kit is removed from the closet nearby and he sets to cleaning up her wounds and wrapping up her fist as well. He's careful and quiet as he does so, not wanting to upset her. "Wanna talk about it or you just gonna do the thing where you let yourself wallow in self pit-" Jaxon is cut of as Savannah suddenly speaks, breaking him off. "I'm sorry I've been a shitty daughter lately. I know I suck and I know I've done bad things, but this is ohana. All of you. You and Jason and Asher and Avery and Mike and Oli and Mason and everyone else. I keep screwing things up when I just want to keep all of my bits and pieces together. But, somehow? Someway, I know this is going to get ruined like everything else. I tried this with AXL, I tried this with Finn, I tried this with HADES... Do you really want me to continue?" She glances at Jaxon, though he's busy wrapping her hands up as she winces from the disinfectant he spritzes onto her cuts. "What if I'm just not cut out for this? What if I'm never going to love someone the way they deserve?"
Jaxon wraps her hand up finally, tight enough to make sure it heals in time to not bust open and bleed during her match with Alyssa. "Love has a funny way of working out when you expect it least. I see the way you and Jason are, I see the way you love each other and care about each other. You do the best that you can, even if you stumble along the way." He stands up with a low groan, knees creaking as he moves to put the first aid kit away. "Love does not come without trials and tribulations and that's just every relationship you will have, romantic or otherwise. But, it's about sticking it through when you really love and care for someone and making sure they know how much you really love them at the end of it all. Understand?" He turns to look at his daughter, who is staring at a film strip of picture from a photo booth of herself and Jason.
"Yeah, sometimes it sucks. But, that's what love is about. The good, the bad, and the ugly. There have been so many chances he could have left me where others would have. There is no one else who would put up with the things he has put up with. Things I can't..." She finds her throat choking up at the reminder that Persephone had tried to help Jason kill himself. "It's just been a lot and I know he knows that I love him. But, is it enough?" Fingers brush through her hair and she sighs softly, Jaxon walking over to press a kiss to the crown of her head.
"It's always worth it. No matter how hard it gets to fight. Always." He pulls away, moving to clean up the pieces of broken glass before discarding them into the trashcan nearby. The glass falls into it with a gentle clatter and Jaxon shoots a smile in his daughters direction. "You've got an early morning ahead of you. Try to get some sleep and I'll be here if you need me. No matter what, alright?" He locks eyes with her, receiving a nod in response. "Good. Love ya', kiddo. Always." Jaxon cuts the light out on the way out, leaving Savannah alone in the darkness to her own thoughts as she stares up at the ceiling laying back in the plush bed.
Alyssa Grace is a name I am more than familiar with. Alyssa Grace, one of my best friends in this business and outside of it. Alyssa Grace, with her heart of gold and a never say die attitude. Alyssa Grace, who has one hell of a mean right hook and someone I never want to be on the bad side of. So, this is just friendly competition for the both of us. No matter what the outcome of all of this may be. At the end of this all, we'll still be friends. We're not looking to go out there and make each other bleed, but we are damn sure not gonna go easy on each other easy. I wouldn't expect her to go easy on me. I want her to give me her all or nothing and that's as simple as that. I love being friends with Alyssa, but I've also been paying real close attention to her matches and I know what to expect. I'm always watching her, not just as a fan, but as someone who could potentially be another opponent for her... and that opportunity arises here on this week's edition of Fallout. I love Alyssa, but make no mistake about it, I'm not about to go easy on her just because she's my favorite person. Just like I wouldn't go easy on Jason or Mike either. Anyone who I'm close with, you can bet your sweet butt that I will stop at nothing to make sure I prove that I am the only one coming out on top in the end.
I am tired of so much around here lately. I've been thinking it would be so much easier if I took the route of others and simply walked away. If I called it quits and left Project: Honor all together. But, there is too much at stake and if I want to make sure I'm one of those people who dismantles the dumbest and overrated stable around here? Then, by all freaking means, I will do so if it means giving my last breath. But, that's not what I'm here for at this moment. I know I have to keep eyes in the back of my head at all times. That's just how things work for me. But, Alyssa plays fair. She would never do anything to cause me real harm unless she had a reason. So, that's why we're going to go out there and we are going to do whatever it takes to put on a gosh darn show and make sure we blow the roof off this place. There's a lot I could say about many things that have happened lately. But, I don't want to prattle on about irrelevant pieces of garbage by a long shot.
I have been the punching bag for too many people for far too long. It's about time I go back to my roots, to who I was in the beginning, to who I was before all the bad stuff turned me into something I am not. So, that is the path that I am taking. The path of righteousness and purity, the path that will lead me to greater thing and higher up that totem pole and if that means going through Alyssa to prove my point? Then, it is what it is and she'll just have to accept a loss at the end of it. Friendship or not, I know what happens when people get in the ring with each other. They have the same goals and they want the same things. But, I will not and I cannot walk away from this without being the one with my hand raised in the air in victory and I will make sure that happens for me. Then, when all is said and done, I will help Alyssa up to her feet, I will shake her hand, and I will thank her for having the chance to beat the crap out of one another.
I am done being a doormat. I am done letting all of you walk all over me. From now on, I know that I am the only one I can depend on. Too many times have others failed me and have I failed them. Even now, I know that my own boyfriend can't even look at me the same after some things that happened and do you know how much that hurts me? It eats away at me, it's been driving me absolutely insane. Not being able to have that strong bond with him because of things out of my control really does hurt me. But, what can I do? I can't fix it. I can't fix it and I know that now. So, I just have to accept it for what it is now and move on. Not from him, no, I would never leave him. Not when he needs me the most. But, move on from the past. From the disease that once infected me. From the disease that dared to try to tear us apart. Persephone is dead and Savannah Sunshine is back in control from here on out.
I want you to know something, 'lyssa. It's not personal when my fist is punching you in the face. It's not personal when my boot is leaving imprints in your skin. It's not personal when I am tying you up in knots and making you beg me to let you go. It's all just part of how I am and who I am now. I am not a woman who will allow anyone to believe that I am made of nothing but softness and squishy things. I am made of strength and pixie dust and intuition. No longer am I so easily giving my trust out to anyone who so easily thinks they can earn it. Yet, you've done just that. You have more than proven that you are no personal threat to me and I respect you so much not only on a personal level, but as a fellow wrestler. You're good, 'lyssa. But, are you good enough? Will you be able to handle the pressure of your first real match here on Fallout? You've got a lot to prove and nothing to lose. I have nothing to prove and absolutely nothing to lose. So, we have some things in common.
This will be no easy task. This will be no easy one, two, three. I will make you shed your tears and sweat in this match and I will make you beg me to stop contorting your bones and joints in ways thought unfathomable. I mean this with nothing but love and respect, but you will not be the one taking me down... because it will be quite the opposite and when we're all done and cried out and sweaty in the end? We'll laugh about it over drinks. Cheers, Alyssa. See you soon.
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA
THE ANDREWS' HOUSEHOLD
It had been a long week for Savannah, between preparations for Project: Underground and then having to worry about making it back in time for Fallout. She had so much on her plate, including thinking about how The Purge had gone for her. The echoing reminders that rang through her head, reminders she didn't want nor need. Though, she dug into her pocket for that coin that she had found in the midst of all the kerfuffle. She flips the coin over and over in between her fingers, lets the cold of the coin remind her that she has something to fight for at Wired Consequences. Though, the last time she had held the Noble Championship, it had not been for very long. The constant reminder thanks to Arik Holt rang through her mind even now. He's stolen so many opportunities from you. It's always been him before you. He only cares about himself. He doesn't love you the way I love you. Her fist smashes through the mirror that's a few feet away, glass shattering into a pile at her feet and she curses lightly. Knocking coming to the guest bedroom a moment later as her father pops his head into the room, noting the mess that had come from the mirror.
"Savannah Marie, what is going on in here?" Jaxon wastes no time and doesn't give Savannah time to even respond, instead he walks inside and carefully moves her onto the edge of the bed. First aid kit is removed from the closet nearby and he sets to cleaning up her wounds and wrapping up her fist as well. He's careful and quiet as he does so, not wanting to upset her. "Wanna talk about it or you just gonna do the thing where you let yourself wallow in self pit-" Jaxon is cut of as Savannah suddenly speaks, breaking him off. "I'm sorry I've been a shitty daughter lately. I know I suck and I know I've done bad things, but this is ohana. All of you. You and Jason and Asher and Avery and Mike and Oli and Mason and everyone else. I keep screwing things up when I just want to keep all of my bits and pieces together. But, somehow? Someway, I know this is going to get ruined like everything else. I tried this with AXL, I tried this with Finn, I tried this with HADES... Do you really want me to continue?" She glances at Jaxon, though he's busy wrapping her hands up as she winces from the disinfectant he spritzes onto her cuts. "What if I'm just not cut out for this? What if I'm never going to love someone the way they deserve?"
Jaxon wraps her hand up finally, tight enough to make sure it heals in time to not bust open and bleed during her match with Alyssa. "Love has a funny way of working out when you expect it least. I see the way you and Jason are, I see the way you love each other and care about each other. You do the best that you can, even if you stumble along the way." He stands up with a low groan, knees creaking as he moves to put the first aid kit away. "Love does not come without trials and tribulations and that's just every relationship you will have, romantic or otherwise. But, it's about sticking it through when you really love and care for someone and making sure they know how much you really love them at the end of it all. Understand?" He turns to look at his daughter, who is staring at a film strip of picture from a photo booth of herself and Jason.
"Yeah, sometimes it sucks. But, that's what love is about. The good, the bad, and the ugly. There have been so many chances he could have left me where others would have. There is no one else who would put up with the things he has put up with. Things I can't..." She finds her throat choking up at the reminder that Persephone had tried to help Jason kill himself. "It's just been a lot and I know he knows that I love him. But, is it enough?" Fingers brush through her hair and she sighs softly, Jaxon walking over to press a kiss to the crown of her head.
"It's always worth it. No matter how hard it gets to fight. Always." He pulls away, moving to clean up the pieces of broken glass before discarding them into the trashcan nearby. The glass falls into it with a gentle clatter and Jaxon shoots a smile in his daughters direction. "You've got an early morning ahead of you. Try to get some sleep and I'll be here if you need me. No matter what, alright?" He locks eyes with her, receiving a nod in response. "Good. Love ya', kiddo. Always." Jaxon cuts the light out on the way out, leaving Savannah alone in the darkness to her own thoughts as she stares up at the ceiling laying back in the plush bed.
Alyssa Grace is a name I am more than familiar with. Alyssa Grace, one of my best friends in this business and outside of it. Alyssa Grace, with her heart of gold and a never say die attitude. Alyssa Grace, who has one hell of a mean right hook and someone I never want to be on the bad side of. So, this is just friendly competition for the both of us. No matter what the outcome of all of this may be. At the end of this all, we'll still be friends. We're not looking to go out there and make each other bleed, but we are damn sure not gonna go easy on each other easy. I wouldn't expect her to go easy on me. I want her to give me her all or nothing and that's as simple as that. I love being friends with Alyssa, but I've also been paying real close attention to her matches and I know what to expect. I'm always watching her, not just as a fan, but as someone who could potentially be another opponent for her... and that opportunity arises here on this week's edition of Fallout. I love Alyssa, but make no mistake about it, I'm not about to go easy on her just because she's my favorite person. Just like I wouldn't go easy on Jason or Mike either. Anyone who I'm close with, you can bet your sweet butt that I will stop at nothing to make sure I prove that I am the only one coming out on top in the end.
I am tired of so much around here lately. I've been thinking it would be so much easier if I took the route of others and simply walked away. If I called it quits and left Project: Honor all together. But, there is too much at stake and if I want to make sure I'm one of those people who dismantles the dumbest and overrated stable around here? Then, by all freaking means, I will do so if it means giving my last breath. But, that's not what I'm here for at this moment. I know I have to keep eyes in the back of my head at all times. That's just how things work for me. But, Alyssa plays fair. She would never do anything to cause me real harm unless she had a reason. So, that's why we're going to go out there and we are going to do whatever it takes to put on a gosh darn show and make sure we blow the roof off this place. There's a lot I could say about many things that have happened lately. But, I don't want to prattle on about irrelevant pieces of garbage by a long shot.
I have been the punching bag for too many people for far too long. It's about time I go back to my roots, to who I was in the beginning, to who I was before all the bad stuff turned me into something I am not. So, that is the path that I am taking. The path of righteousness and purity, the path that will lead me to greater thing and higher up that totem pole and if that means going through Alyssa to prove my point? Then, it is what it is and she'll just have to accept a loss at the end of it. Friendship or not, I know what happens when people get in the ring with each other. They have the same goals and they want the same things. But, I will not and I cannot walk away from this without being the one with my hand raised in the air in victory and I will make sure that happens for me. Then, when all is said and done, I will help Alyssa up to her feet, I will shake her hand, and I will thank her for having the chance to beat the crap out of one another.
I am done being a doormat. I am done letting all of you walk all over me. From now on, I know that I am the only one I can depend on. Too many times have others failed me and have I failed them. Even now, I know that my own boyfriend can't even look at me the same after some things that happened and do you know how much that hurts me? It eats away at me, it's been driving me absolutely insane. Not being able to have that strong bond with him because of things out of my control really does hurt me. But, what can I do? I can't fix it. I can't fix it and I know that now. So, I just have to accept it for what it is now and move on. Not from him, no, I would never leave him. Not when he needs me the most. But, move on from the past. From the disease that once infected me. From the disease that dared to try to tear us apart. Persephone is dead and Savannah Sunshine is back in control from here on out.
I want you to know something, 'lyssa. It's not personal when my fist is punching you in the face. It's not personal when my boot is leaving imprints in your skin. It's not personal when I am tying you up in knots and making you beg me to let you go. It's all just part of how I am and who I am now. I am not a woman who will allow anyone to believe that I am made of nothing but softness and squishy things. I am made of strength and pixie dust and intuition. No longer am I so easily giving my trust out to anyone who so easily thinks they can earn it. Yet, you've done just that. You have more than proven that you are no personal threat to me and I respect you so much not only on a personal level, but as a fellow wrestler. You're good, 'lyssa. But, are you good enough? Will you be able to handle the pressure of your first real match here on Fallout? You've got a lot to prove and nothing to lose. I have nothing to prove and absolutely nothing to lose. So, we have some things in common.
This will be no easy task. This will be no easy one, two, three. I will make you shed your tears and sweat in this match and I will make you beg me to stop contorting your bones and joints in ways thought unfathomable. I mean this with nothing but love and respect, but you will not be the one taking me down... because it will be quite the opposite and when we're all done and cried out and sweaty in the end? We'll laugh about it over drinks. Cheers, Alyssa. See you soon.
