"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson
Oct 30, 2021 3:11:42 GMT -5
Mark Hunter, mxjima, and 2 more like this
Post by Masters of the Tooniverse on Oct 30, 2021 3:11:42 GMT -5
KIM BASICNGER
RING NAME: "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson (2021 Edition)
NICKNAME(S): "AJM", "God's Gag Gift to Sports Entertainment", "Archie", "A. Stinker", "Propstar", "The One Who Knock-Knocks", "The Prince of Punchlines", "The Hilarious One", "The Sultan of Shenanigans", "The Comedian of Errors", "His Royal Travesty", "That Wascally Wabbit", "Wackadoodle", "Mighty Manson"; "April's Fool", "The Farce Awakens", "Fun Dip"; "The Jest There Ever Was, Is and Ever Will Be", "The Wack Ranger", "Killer Klown from Outer Space Jam", "Electric Bugaboo", "Nicklewise", "The Bad News Care Bear", "Nappy Chan", "The Sour Patch Kid", "The Goonie Toon", "Mortal Wombat", "iHardly"
HEIGHT: 5'9"
WEIGHT: 205 lbs.
PRODUCTION DATE: April 1, 1986
HOMETOWN: The Divided States of Hysteria
RESIDING: The Warner Bros. Water Tower
BILLED FROM: Live From Insert City Here, It's Saturday Morning!
PREFERRED BRAND: Proving Ground
BILLED FROM: Live From Insert City Here, It's Saturday Morning!
PREFERRED BRAND: Proving Ground
LET'S GET PHYSICAL
PIC BASE: Xavier Woods
COME ON DOWN!
THEME SONG: Applause by Lady Gaga
ENTRANCE DESCRIPTION
A pyrotechnic explosion of rainbow proportions cues Applause by Lady Gaga to kick up through the sound system. Standing dead center of the stage is "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson. He's got his trusty BONKERZOOKA propped up on his shoulder as he dances down the ramp and towards the ring. As he jumps and bops to the music, he fires the BONKERZOOKA into the crowd and drenches various fans with cream pies. He drops the BONKERZOOKA as he gets to the ring and runs up the steps, down the apron, and slingshots himself into the ring where more dancing and just plain foolishness goes down until the match begins.
A pyrotechnic explosion of rainbow proportions cues Applause by Lady Gaga to kick up through the sound system. Standing dead center of the stage is "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson. He's got his trusty BONKERZOOKA propped up on his shoulder as he dances down the ramp and towards the ring. As he jumps and bops to the music, he fires the BONKERZOOKA into the crowd and drenches various fans with cream pies. He drops the BONKERZOOKA as he gets to the ring and runs up the steps, down the apron, and slingshots himself into the ring where more dancing and just plain foolishness goes down until the match begins.
CHAMPION ENTRANCE DESCRIPTION
IN THIS VERY RING
CHARACTER DISPOSITION
TENDENCY TO CHEAT
ALWAYS | OFTEN | SOMETIMES | RARELY | NEVER
You can ALWAYS count on Archimedes J. Manson to find a way to break the rules. He doesn't believe in rules and believes that victory must be attained at any entertaining cost. Unless, of course, it's funnier to not cheat. Then we're playing a whole different ball game.
You can ALWAYS count on Archimedes J. Manson to find a way to break the rules. He doesn't believe in rules and believes that victory must be attained at any entertaining cost. Unless, of course, it's funnier to not cheat. Then we're playing a whole different ball game.
MOTIVATION TO COMPETE
OTHER; Chaos
Fun. Chaos. Entertainment. Hilarity. These are all the reasons that "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson exists within the bowels of Project Honor. He wants to have a ball at the expense of everyone else. This includes the entire Project Honor Roster, the Fans, the Staff... everyone. There's not a soul that exists in or around Project Honor that is safe from The Animaniac's zany antics. He considers being signed to Project Honor to be the set up and winning gold to be the perfect punchline.
Oh, also, the Applause.... Applause... Applause.
Fun. Chaos. Entertainment. Hilarity. These are all the reasons that "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson exists within the bowels of Project Honor. He wants to have a ball at the expense of everyone else. This includes the entire Project Honor Roster, the Fans, the Staff... everyone. There's not a soul that exists in or around Project Honor that is safe from The Animaniac's zany antics. He considers being signed to Project Honor to be the set up and winning gold to be the perfect punchline.
Oh, also, the Applause.... Applause... Applause.
GIMMICK
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson thinks he's hilarious. He considers himself to be the funniest, most entertaining performer to ever step foot into a wrestling ring. The self-proclaimed God's Gag Gift to Sports Entertainment looks at the world through animated eyes and sees everyone and everything as an opportunity for a laugh. He doesn't take anything or anyone seriously, reveling in the chaos that he leaves in his wake. He has taken it upon himself to use Project Honor as his latest vehicle through which to preach his zany gospel. He's fully aware that he's completely insane and embraces his foolishness, living his life however he wants and regardless of how it affects anyone else. In his heart of hearts, he believes he's the most hilarious wrestler of all time and if he has to kick everyone's asses to prove it... he will.
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson thinks he's hilarious. He considers himself to be the funniest, most entertaining performer to ever step foot into a wrestling ring. The self-proclaimed God's Gag Gift to Sports Entertainment looks at the world through animated eyes and sees everyone and everything as an opportunity for a laugh. He doesn't take anything or anyone seriously, reveling in the chaos that he leaves in his wake. He has taken it upon himself to use Project Honor as his latest vehicle through which to preach his zany gospel. He's fully aware that he's completely insane and embraces his foolishness, living his life however he wants and regardless of how it affects anyone else. In his heart of hearts, he believes he's the most hilarious wrestler of all time and if he has to kick everyone's asses to prove it... he will.
FAVORITE MATCH TYPE: No Disqualification Matches. Any Matches Without Rules.
LEAST FAVORITE MATCH TYPE: Any Matches With Rules.
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Bag of Tricks
As a prop comedian and magician who knows what "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson will pull out of his bag of tricks. Sometimes it's a weapon, sometimes it's a gag, sometimes it's food and sometimes it's a person. YOU NEVER KNOW.
WEAPON OF SECOND CHOICE: BONKERZOOKA
It's a bazooka-shaped catapult that launches cream pies.
IN-RING EXPERIENCE: April 2019 (Original Run), November 2020 (Reboot), November 2021 (Reimagining)
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson (2019)'s first professional run is only available on VHS and those tapes were lost in the Great Malleting. Reports from some of the most ill-advised clickbaiters in the sports industry all agree that while his time in the ring was brief, it was still a better love story than Twilight.
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson (2020) has once again escaped the Water Tower only to find himself no longer in the States and above the offices of Kingdom Pro. With a fresh take on an old gimmick, he just showed up on the roster of Kingdom Pro ready to entertain and annoy. Not necessarily in that order. It didn't work out.
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson (2021) has been pulled into another money making scheme by the studio executives in Hollyweird. Using a Third Time's A Charm pitch and dangling some Creative Control in his face, Archie found himself diving right back into the world of professional wrestling. This time, rebuilding himself from the ground floor to grab Project Honor by the tighty whities and wedgie the mudbloody hell out of it.
GOODZ
I Was A Teenage Punching Bag
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson has always had a knack for being able to handle pain. So much so that it almost seems like he enjoys it. Whether he's being brutalized by an opponent or doing something stupid for a laugh or just plain inflicting it upon himself, he always seems to come away with a smile on his face. If he feels pain, he certainly doesn't show it. Which comes in handy when gaining the mental advantage over opponents or not tapping out to violent submissions. He's almost Addams Familyesque.
Hakuna My Tatas
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson doesn't actually care about winning or losing. It's never been part of who he is. Sure, getting a win or a victory over an opponent is what he should be doing as a competitor in professional wrestling but he's actually more worried about having a good time (for him) and entertaining people (the crowd and his fans) while also annoying the holy hell out of his opponents. Sports Entertainment is one big joke and The Animaniac wants to make sure HE delivers the Punchline.
Jokes On You I'm Into That Shit
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson is likely an exercise in dealing with what amounts to a live-action cartoon trapped in the world of sports entertainment. He flaunts an attitude and a belief system that is almost impenetrable in its inzanity. There's very little that offends him and he's so much more likely to agree with insults and hatred than to try and defend his position on any topic. He's so incredibly unstable that he's mentally bulletproof and that tends to get under the skin of those that want to get into their opponent's heads. Might want to think twice about trying that with this one.
BADZ
What The Actual Fuck
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson is an exercise in wtfery and futility. Even he doesn't know what he's going to do next which could sometimes work in others favor. He never really has a plan or a strategy, he just kind of does shit and that could end up going badly for all parties involved. His loyalties are fickle at best and he doesn't even trust himself. The world is already strange and The Animaniac just seems to make it stranger.
Real Life: The Animated Series
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson may actually believe that he's a fictional character living in a surreality of meta proportions. His textbook insanity gives him multiple mental issues to deal with running the gamut from multiple personality disorder to schizophrenia and even just plain ol' hallucinations. These things can take over his mind and completely put him in a state of disarray and make him incapable of functioning in a traditional society... or even in the world of sports entertainment. If any of this is actually real. This whole "professional wrestler" thing could just be a figment of his broken imagination. (It's not.) [Or is it?] DUN DUN DUN!
Wrestlelamia
Can "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Mason even wrestle? That's the question on the minds of almost everyone that gets into the ring with him... including Archimedes J. Manson. He knows moves and how to perform them. He understands the rules and how professional wrestling works as a product of sports entertainment. Where things fall apart for him are where he needs to take care of business in the more nuanced sense. He may fail to perform tags correctly or be lacking in the ring awareness department or even stay out of the ring too long for count outs. One never really knows if he really doesn't pay attention to such nuances or if it's just funnier this way.
IN-RING ATTITUDE
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson is not exactly tiny but he is toony and quite a bit looney. A whirlwind hybrid combination of wacky antics, puns, inzanity (insanity and zany combined) are all wrapped up into an explosive entertainer that has a thing for brutal physical comedy and violent displays of comedic timing! He spends just as much time cracking jokes or trying to get the fans to react as he does actually wrestling. He's a bit of a fish out of water and into the frying pan in that way. Very quick to "cheat" as they call it in the business, The Animaniac has a plethora of props and toys and giant mallets to which he uses in order to take down his foes. He really seems to be more of an annoying prankster sprinkled with wrestling moves than a professional wrestler. He also seems to be a glutton for punishment and as expressive as a cartoon character. He's a weird one, Mr. Grinch.
As a prop comedian and magician who knows what "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson will pull out of his bag of tricks. Sometimes it's a weapon, sometimes it's a gag, sometimes it's food and sometimes it's a person. YOU NEVER KNOW.
WEAPON OF SECOND CHOICE: BONKERZOOKA
It's a bazooka-shaped catapult that launches cream pies.
IN-RING EXPERIENCE: April 2019 (Original Run), November 2020 (Reboot), November 2021 (Reimagining)
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson (2019)'s first professional run is only available on VHS and those tapes were lost in the Great Malleting. Reports from some of the most ill-advised clickbaiters in the sports industry all agree that while his time in the ring was brief, it was still a better love story than Twilight.
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson (2020) has once again escaped the Water Tower only to find himself no longer in the States and above the offices of Kingdom Pro. With a fresh take on an old gimmick, he just showed up on the roster of Kingdom Pro ready to entertain and annoy. Not necessarily in that order. It didn't work out.
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson (2021) has been pulled into another money making scheme by the studio executives in Hollyweird. Using a Third Time's A Charm pitch and dangling some Creative Control in his face, Archie found himself diving right back into the world of professional wrestling. This time, rebuilding himself from the ground floor to grab Project Honor by the tighty whities and wedgie the mudbloody hell out of it.
GOODZ
I Was A Teenage Punching Bag
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson has always had a knack for being able to handle pain. So much so that it almost seems like he enjoys it. Whether he's being brutalized by an opponent or doing something stupid for a laugh or just plain inflicting it upon himself, he always seems to come away with a smile on his face. If he feels pain, he certainly doesn't show it. Which comes in handy when gaining the mental advantage over opponents or not tapping out to violent submissions. He's almost Addams Familyesque.
Hakuna My Tatas
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson doesn't actually care about winning or losing. It's never been part of who he is. Sure, getting a win or a victory over an opponent is what he should be doing as a competitor in professional wrestling but he's actually more worried about having a good time (for him) and entertaining people (the crowd and his fans) while also annoying the holy hell out of his opponents. Sports Entertainment is one big joke and The Animaniac wants to make sure HE delivers the Punchline.
Jokes On You I'm Into That Shit
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson is likely an exercise in dealing with what amounts to a live-action cartoon trapped in the world of sports entertainment. He flaunts an attitude and a belief system that is almost impenetrable in its inzanity. There's very little that offends him and he's so much more likely to agree with insults and hatred than to try and defend his position on any topic. He's so incredibly unstable that he's mentally bulletproof and that tends to get under the skin of those that want to get into their opponent's heads. Might want to think twice about trying that with this one.
BADZ
What The Actual Fuck
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson is an exercise in wtfery and futility. Even he doesn't know what he's going to do next which could sometimes work in others favor. He never really has a plan or a strategy, he just kind of does shit and that could end up going badly for all parties involved. His loyalties are fickle at best and he doesn't even trust himself. The world is already strange and The Animaniac just seems to make it stranger.
Real Life: The Animated Series
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson may actually believe that he's a fictional character living in a surreality of meta proportions. His textbook insanity gives him multiple mental issues to deal with running the gamut from multiple personality disorder to schizophrenia and even just plain ol' hallucinations. These things can take over his mind and completely put him in a state of disarray and make him incapable of functioning in a traditional society... or even in the world of sports entertainment. If any of this is actually real. This whole "professional wrestler" thing could just be a figment of his broken imagination. (It's not.) [Or is it?] DUN DUN DUN!
Wrestlelamia
Can "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Mason even wrestle? That's the question on the minds of almost everyone that gets into the ring with him... including Archimedes J. Manson. He knows moves and how to perform them. He understands the rules and how professional wrestling works as a product of sports entertainment. Where things fall apart for him are where he needs to take care of business in the more nuanced sense. He may fail to perform tags correctly or be lacking in the ring awareness department or even stay out of the ring too long for count outs. One never really knows if he really doesn't pay attention to such nuances or if it's just funnier this way.
IN-RING ATTITUDE
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson is not exactly tiny but he is toony and quite a bit looney. A whirlwind hybrid combination of wacky antics, puns, inzanity (insanity and zany combined) are all wrapped up into an explosive entertainer that has a thing for brutal physical comedy and violent displays of comedic timing! He spends just as much time cracking jokes or trying to get the fans to react as he does actually wrestling. He's a bit of a fish out of water and into the frying pan in that way. Very quick to "cheat" as they call it in the business, The Animaniac has a plethora of props and toys and giant mallets to which he uses in order to take down his foes. He really seems to be more of an annoying prankster sprinkled with wrestling moves than a professional wrestler. He also seems to be a glutton for punishment and as expressive as a cartoon character. He's a weird one, Mr. Grinch.
MOVE, BITCH! GET OUT THE WAY!
WRESTLING STYLE: 1/3 A.C. Slater + 1/2 Comedic Timing + 5/8 Toon Physics. Blend. Stir. Garnish with a Splash of Nostalgia. Serve on an Unpredictable Platter.
Come On Moves
*CRACK*
Diving Calf Kick
Diving Calf Kick
*WHUMP*
Snap DDT
Snap DDT
*CLANG*
Tilt-A-Whirl Facebuster
Tilt-A-Whirl Facebuster
*SWOOSH*
Swinging Fisherman's Neckbreaker
Swinging Fisherman's Neckbreaker
*CRASH*
Diving Bulldog
Diving Bulldog
*OOMPH*
Twisting Springboard Crossbody
Twisting Springboard Crossbody
*BAM*
Float Over DDT
Float Over DDT
*POW*
Springboard Dropkick
Springboard Dropkick
*THUD*
Cannonball Senton
Cannonball Senton
*THWAP*
Discus Elbow
Discus Elbow
*ZONK*
Single Knee Facebreaker
Single Knee Facebreaker
*WHOOSH*
Tilt-A-Whirl DDT
Tilt-A-Whirl DDT
*BOFF*
Hesitation Dropkick
Hesitation Dropkick
*FWIP*
Tilt-A-Whirl Headscissors
Tilt-A-Whirl Headscissors
*SMASH*
Wheelbarrow Facebuster
Wheelbarrow Facebuster
*WHAM*
Reverse Suplex
Reverse Suplex
*SPLAT*
Rope Walk Body Splash
Rope Walk Body Splash
*YELP*
Falling DDT
Falling DDT
*BOOM*
Diving Leg Drop
Diving Leg Drop
*CRUNCH*
Sliding Reverse STO
*SWISH*
Push-Off Dropkick
Sliding Reverse STO
*SWISH*
Push-Off Dropkick
*HONK*
Tope Con Hilo
Tope Con Hilo
*ZOOM*
Springboard Tornado DDT
Springboard Tornado DDT
*BOING*
Jumping High Knee
Jumping High Knee
ZINGNATURE MOVES
1. "JK! Just Kicking!"
Superkick. Any Variant.
Superkick. Any Variant.
2. "LOL-bow"
Rope Walk Diving Elbow
Rope Walk Diving Elbow
3. "Fool's Errand"
Shining Wizard
Shining Wizard
4. "Krabby Patty w/ Everything"
Inverted Boston Crab
Inverted Boston Crab
5. "Krabby Patty, No Krust"
Boston Crab Backbreaker
Boston Crab Backbreaker
6. "ROFLMFAO"
Military Press Double Knee Gutbuster
Military Press Double Knee Gutbuster
7. "Put A Smile On That Face"
Crossface w/ Joy Buzzer
Crossface w/ Joy Buzzer
8. "Ta-Ta!"
Rebound Snap Boobplex
Rebound Snap Boobplex
9. "Spit Take"
Poison Mist w/ Random Liquid of the Night
Poison Mist w/ Random Liquid of the Night
10. "No U"
Counter + Opponent's Signature w/ Uno Reverse Card Theatrics
Counter + Opponent's Signature w/ Uno Reverse Card Theatrics
11. "Ha-Hadouken!"
Hadouken Punch w/ Flash Paper Theatrics
Hadouken Punch w/ Flash Paper Theatrics
12. "After School Special"
Wedgie into School Boy Pin
Wedgie into School Boy Pin
13. "Shave and a Haircut"
Hammerlock Leg Sweep DDT
Hammerlock Leg Sweep DDT
14. "Open Mic Fight"
Three Left Handed Punches + Seinfeld Shrug + Right Hook
15. "The Punchline"
Rolling Thunder Clothesline
16. "Boob Window"
Superman Punch to the Tit
17. "Nuts Be Gone"
Superman Punch to the Nuts
18. "Extra Point"
Punt Kick to the Crotch
Three Left Handed Punches + Seinfeld Shrug + Right Hook
15. "The Punchline"
Rolling Thunder Clothesline
16. "Boob Window"
Superman Punch to the Tit
17. "Nuts Be Gone"
Superman Punch to the Nuts
18. "Extra Point"
Punt Kick to the Crotch
FUNNISHER MOVES
1. "Too Soon?"
Future Shock DDT
Future Shock DDT
2. "Last Laugh"
Inverted Stomp Facebreaker
Inverted Stomp Facebreaker
3. "The Killing Joke"
Fireman's Carry Cutter
ULTIMATE FUNNISHER MOVE
Fireman's Carry Cutter
ULTIMATE FUNNISHER MOVE
"You Get What You Fucking Deserve"
Venue Blackout + ?!?! + Lights Flicker + Finger Poke of Doom
MANSON 'S MAGIC MOVES
Gag Reflex
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson will often set up promos with his opponents so that he can take that opportunity to prank them. Pranks range from joy buzzers and whoopee cushions to dropping heavy objects on their heads. You never know what's going to happen when you enter in a promo-off with The Animaniac.
Referee At Last! Referee At Last! Thank Zod Almighty, I'm Referee At Last!
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson pounces on the opportunity to secure a victory when the referee is down and out by reaching into his Bag of Tricks and pulling on a Referee Shirt (Orange and Pink color scheme, by the way) and pins an opponent while making a very fast 3 count.
Duck Season
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson gets into a slapping contest with his opponent. Hopefully, goading them into a back and forth that becomes so routine in such a short time that when he decides to turn the tables and slap himself, his opponent does the same or at least reacts to a slap that never comes. Thus, giving The Animaniac an opportunity to capitalize.
Cosplay Is King
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson can sometimes use his incredible cosplay skills to enact what is commonly referred to as The Scooby Doo Effect. A quick costume change is sometimes all it takes to throw an opponent off their game. Imagine countering a Finisher with a stop sign, whistle, and a crossing guard vest. It works more than you know.
Venue Blackout + ?!?! + Lights Flicker + Finger Poke of Doom
MANSON 'S MAGIC MOVES
Gag Reflex
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson will often set up promos with his opponents so that he can take that opportunity to prank them. Pranks range from joy buzzers and whoopee cushions to dropping heavy objects on their heads. You never know what's going to happen when you enter in a promo-off with The Animaniac.
Referee At Last! Referee At Last! Thank Zod Almighty, I'm Referee At Last!
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson pounces on the opportunity to secure a victory when the referee is down and out by reaching into his Bag of Tricks and pulling on a Referee Shirt (Orange and Pink color scheme, by the way) and pins an opponent while making a very fast 3 count.
Duck Season
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson gets into a slapping contest with his opponent. Hopefully, goading them into a back and forth that becomes so routine in such a short time that when he decides to turn the tables and slap himself, his opponent does the same or at least reacts to a slap that never comes. Thus, giving The Animaniac an opportunity to capitalize.
Cosplay Is King
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson can sometimes use his incredible cosplay skills to enact what is commonly referred to as The Scooby Doo Effect. A quick costume change is sometimes all it takes to throw an opponent off their game. Imagine countering a Finisher with a stop sign, whistle, and a crossing guard vest. It works more than you know.
BIO HAZARD
Once Upon A Time...
There was a Great Man. This Great Man met this Hot Chick and the two of them did the Horizontal Polka to Lionel Richie's Greatest Hits. Later on, said Hot Chick found out she was With Child as they say. A fast forward session later, she was no longer With Child because a baby came out of her and it was crazy.
There were salad spoons and everything.
By the way, that baby was me! ARCHIMEDES J. MANSON! The J stands for... JUST BORN!
Anyway, I didn't have a name back then and I guess Great Man and Hot Chick decided they didn't want an eating and shitting machine so next thing I know, I'm getting left on the doorstep of a conveniently located Convent.
Skipping forward a bit, I was raised by the strippers in the Convent (Oh, not an actual convent. It was a strip club named The Convent) and they taught me how to watch television and cartoons and informercials. It was a great life. I didn't even have to go to school! But anyway, when I got too old to be wandering around backstage with a bunch of nakey time, I had to get my own place.
So I locked myself in the Warner Bros. Water Tower. Which, for some reason, had everything but water in it. Go Action Figure.
People say that's why I'm looney now but I don't see it. Just because I talk to things that aren't there, carry around an overgrown mallet in my back pocket and sometimes my eyes pop out of my skull doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me! DOES IT, KEFKA?! DOES IT?!
So. Yeah. I watched a lot of stuff on tv and one time I was on Netflix and saw this show about people punching and kicking and slamming each other around! It looked like so much fun that I had to do it.
I bounced around from wrestling organization to wrestling organization because I kept getting fired. Until I realized that I should probably calm my tits and head over the watery grave to the Re-United Kingdom. That didn't work out. Mice.
So now I'm back for the third time to put the Pro Ho in Project Honor!
ANY QUESTIONS?!
There was a Great Man. This Great Man met this Hot Chick and the two of them did the Horizontal Polka to Lionel Richie's Greatest Hits. Later on, said Hot Chick found out she was With Child as they say. A fast forward session later, she was no longer With Child because a baby came out of her and it was crazy.
There were salad spoons and everything.
By the way, that baby was me! ARCHIMEDES J. MANSON! The J stands for... JUST BORN!
Anyway, I didn't have a name back then and I guess Great Man and Hot Chick decided they didn't want an eating and shitting machine so next thing I know, I'm getting left on the doorstep of a conveniently located Convent.
Skipping forward a bit, I was raised by the strippers in the Convent (Oh, not an actual convent. It was a strip club named The Convent) and they taught me how to watch television and cartoons and informercials. It was a great life. I didn't even have to go to school! But anyway, when I got too old to be wandering around backstage with a bunch of nakey time, I had to get my own place.
So I locked myself in the Warner Bros. Water Tower. Which, for some reason, had everything but water in it. Go Action Figure.
People say that's why I'm looney now but I don't see it. Just because I talk to things that aren't there, carry around an overgrown mallet in my back pocket and sometimes my eyes pop out of my skull doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me! DOES IT, KEFKA?! DOES IT?!
So. Yeah. I watched a lot of stuff on tv and one time I was on Netflix and saw this show about people punching and kicking and slamming each other around! It looked like so much fun that I had to do it.
I bounced around from wrestling organization to wrestling organization because I kept getting fired. Until I realized that I should probably calm my tits and head over the watery grave to the Re-United Kingdom. That didn't work out. Mice.
So now I'm back for the third time to put the Pro Ho in Project Honor!
ANY QUESTIONS?!
ACHIEVEMENTS UNLOCKED
ACME Wild Take Champion (Current)
USELESS FACTZ
Archimedes J. Manson is completely out of his mind. He's bonkers. A calculating cartoonish individual that will just as easily pie someone in the face as talk to them intelligently. He can't be trusted but less in a 'will do something bad' way and more of a 'will do something insane' way. He's likely more complicated than even he realizes.
Archimedes J. Manson is very much into Cosplay and that whole deal. He'll often wear random outfits along with his wild and crazy ring gear. Or in segments, he'll find himself dressed up as another Wrestler or Cartoon or Pop Culture character. He's funky like that.
Archimedes J. Manson is very fond of his hair. If you've got it, flaunt it.
Archimedes J. Manson is Hilarisexual. If it's funny, he's into it.
Archimedes J. Manson believes he's living in a world of cartoons, television, and whatever. Therefore, a lot of his antics are done in that style. He'll talk to the camera, smash through the Fourth Wall, and generally come across as a somewhat Meta individual. But it's all in good fun. Especially for the camera crew that follows him around 24/7. He's clickbait gold.
Archimedes J. Manson will often interact with the fans or the officials or anyone and everyone that he can during shows or matches. That goes for snatching a fan's drink and chugging it or treating a referee to an atomic wedgie or just showing up backstage where he's not wanted or needed. He's a nuisance and proud of it.
Archimedes J. Manson is completely out of his mind. He's bonkers. A calculating cartoonish individual that will just as easily pie someone in the face as talk to them intelligently. He can't be trusted but less in a 'will do something bad' way and more of a 'will do something insane' way. He's likely more complicated than even he realizes.
Archimedes J. Manson is very much into Cosplay and that whole deal. He'll often wear random outfits along with his wild and crazy ring gear. Or in segments, he'll find himself dressed up as another Wrestler or Cartoon or Pop Culture character. He's funky like that.
Archimedes J. Manson is very fond of his hair. If you've got it, flaunt it.
Archimedes J. Manson is Hilarisexual. If it's funny, he's into it.
Archimedes J. Manson believes he's living in a world of cartoons, television, and whatever. Therefore, a lot of his antics are done in that style. He'll talk to the camera, smash through the Fourth Wall, and generally come across as a somewhat Meta individual. But it's all in good fun. Especially for the camera crew that follows him around 24/7. He's clickbait gold.
Archimedes J. Manson will often interact with the fans or the officials or anyone and everyone that he can during shows or matches. That goes for snatching a fan's drink and chugging it or treating a referee to an atomic wedgie or just showing up backstage where he's not wanted or needed. He's a nuisance and proud of it.
HANDLE 4 DAYZ
NAME: ZoCal aka Alonzo Calrissian aka The Millennial Falcon
PRONOUNS: He/Him/Doctor Who Dat
EXPERIENCE: Much Decades
HOW CAN WE CONTACT YOU?: Discord Gang!
ARE YOU ABLE TO WRITE MATCHES FROM TIME TO TIME?: Yes | No | Potentially
HOW DID YOU FIND US?: Kingdom Pro Affiliations
WHAT'S YOUR FONT COLOR?: #FF1493 & #FFA500
