What I am...

Tara had been typing away at her keyboard for what had seemed like hours. There were moments where she felt that she needed to stop; she needed to catch her breath as each word that she had typed out was bringing up mental scars that she had thought would be long gone… The truth was that no matter how much time those scars had to heal, there would always be the times where she would feel hurt by them. She would feel tormented by them. The hours drained away… by the time that Tara realized the time, it was already 4:03 in the morning.

I am not going to get to sleep today… Tara thought to herself, while opening her calendar to see the time of her next flight. She had to be in Orlando for one show, then fly to New Zealand for the next. She pressed the two keys on her keyboard to save the document before shutting the computer down. She was certain that she would be fast asleep for her flight to Orlando, but would have her equipment with her in case she was unable to.

---

The tires screeched as the Dassault Falcon 2000DX touched down against the runway, and the pilot reduced the speed greatly yet safely. It didn’t take long for the jet to come to a safe speed. The scene had come to a sudden change and showed the interior of the jet; there were ten seats available for guests, but Tara was the lone passenger on what was her private jet… She did not take it everywhere she went; mainly just for the longer flights, or if she was running late. Usually, there were people that would frequent the flights with her. Her eldest son, who himself was a rookie in the profession; well-trained, trained by his mother, and stepfather, but there were still certain traits that could not be taught; however, with her situation in dealing with her second son made him feel like he was better off waiting at home while his mother competed around the world. Tara leaned over to the nearby window and took a look at the outside…

Mount Fuji, the dormant volcano that has become an ancient symbol for Japan, was the first sight to behold. It was the middle of the day, and a clear sky, so the mountain had looked nothing short of magnificent.

I could still remember the first time that I stepped foot on Japanese soil with the desire to compete with them on a full-time basis… I remember walking down the jetway with my bag slung over my shoulder; only enough clothes to get me through the week. Just enough provisions until I would be at the apartment that the promoter had rented out for me. People were wondering: why? Why would I quit when I was at the top of the world? 2007… I became the XHF World Champion, and just a couple months into my reign, I relinquished the championship for the sole reason of wanting to take a step back, and I took that step back by packing a bag and leaving for Japan. How long would I be gone? The truth was that I was burnt out from XHF. Everything was the same-- same shit, different day. I needed a breath of fresh air. Japan was it.

---

Similar to how the jet of the modern times came to a screeching halt on the runway, the jet had touched down and braking on the runway. This was not the private jet that Tara had now fourteen years later, but rather a passenger jet. Tara was one of the first passengers off of the jet in what had been unfamiliar territory to her up to this day. The XHF had been world renown, but the world was large; they had not gotten to do a tour as often as they would have liked in Japan. Tara scoured the crowded airport after reaching the main lobby where she could see her name written on a poster board being held by a young man. Beside him was a young woman; she looked to be about the same age. The man was trying to peer over the crowd to lay his eyes on the most recent XHF World Champion, and it was particularly easy to tell her apart from the rest of the crowd; her hair had a broad streak of blue running off of one temple, all the way back; her hair was in a French-braid which had caused the blue to twirl, but there were fans that were already noticing her presence.

The attention that she had received caused her face to redden; she blushed from their attention, and she could hear them murmuring around her… especially the younger fans; she was popular amongst the children with her look that resonated with individualism. She stood out. She was her own. Over the crowd, she could see the young man raise his hand frantically trying to acquire her attention, and to a success…

Tara maneuvered herself through the crowd, and despite it appearing overcrowded with people trying to reach their respective gate, none of them so much as brushed her shoulder. She was careful as well not to accidentally bump into someone, so it took her a bit longer to get to the chauffeur than she would have liked but she did make it and the man and the woman both bowed low.

“(Hello, Tara! My name is Ito. I am your driver.)” the driver, Ito, said while regaining his posture alongside the woman. Tara just looked confused, but bowed in turn to them.

The woman could not help but bow her head, more of a nod this time, as she spoke in turn, “This is Ito. I am Ayame. I will be your translator.” Ayame said with a smile, “You are Tara. We have been expecting you!” she said with more excitement this time. Ayame then looked over to Ito, and without having to say anything, but saying it anyway, she had told him, “(Get her bag.)”

Tara knew that she should have tried to brush up on some Japanese before accepting the offer, but she had rushed with her decision… it was why she couldn’t wait to lose the belt, and opted to relinquish it. Ito stepped forward and held a hand out, a gesture that did not go unnoticed for what his intention was; Tara handed her bag over, and Ito took the bag before taking the lead. “(Follow me.)” said Ito.

The waving gesture that Ito had made should have been enough, but Ayame insisted on speaking anyway, “Follow.” She said before following behind Ito, and Tara was just a couple of steps behind her. It didn’t take long for them to get to the limousine… It was not a large limousine, just one meant for small parties as Tara was the only client that was to be picked up, and Ito had already placed the suitcase in the trunk, and was holding the door open for Tara and Akame. Both of them got into their seats and the driver hurried around to get into the driver seat before beginning their drive.

The drive was rather uneventful. Tara was primarily looking out at the busy city streets of Tokyo… people watching, and admiring the architecture. It was a city to behold. After enough time to take in the scenery, Tara sat back in her seat and laid her eyes back on Akame.

“Were you born here?” Tara asked, trying to spark conversation.
A quick shake of her head, and Akame answered, “No. I come from Hirata.”
The name was obviously unfamiliar with Tara, but she gave a friendly smile, “What brought you to Tokyo?”
“I--” Akame blushed a little, but her eyes lingered on Tara, “--I wanted to enter your sport. This is the best city to do that.”
“Are you?”
“No. I was offered job as translator. I took it.” Akame said with a brief smile.
“Why can’t you do both?” Tara seemed puzzled.
“Busy.” Akame answered rather bluntly.
This didn’t seem to dissuade Tara, as she studied Akame’s face for several seconds… she could see the itch she had to get into the ring but knew there was more to the reasoning that she had not sought training thus far.
“Tell me…” Tara said.
Akame let out a sigh, and answered, “It is good money. To translate. I don’t have time.”
Tara chuckled at her next thought, “And you’re translating for me?”
Akame answered with a nod.
“Then I’m training you.” Akame parted her lips in a fashion to protest, but Tara shook her head. “It’s decided.” Tara had turned her attention back to what was happening along the drive, but couldn’t help but see out of the corner of her eye the smile that Akame had.

It took them a few minutes to get to their destination. Upon arrival, Ito was the first out of the car; Tara had reached for the handle but Akame had gestured for her to wait and Tara sat back in the chair until Ito had gone around to open the door. He bowed as he stepped to the side, and now Akame gestured for Tara to go first. Tara obliged. Akame, upon exiting the vehicle, gave a quick bow to Ito, and Tara followed suit before they eventually walked into what appeared to be more of a dojo. The mat stretched across the entire surface, and Tara noticed the code on the wall; she could not read it. While she was distracted by the artwork, Akame bowed as a man had walked from the far end; he was muscular; smaller than the men that Tara was used to seeing, but looked like he was in far better shape.

“Masaru-buchou.” Akame said while bowing.
The words caught Tara’s attention and snapped her back to reality, and she turned and gave a bow to him. “Masaru--” she hesitated.
Akame, still holding the bow, whispered, “Buchou.” She said as an indication to tell Tara how she should greet him.

The man answered by bowing back, and laughing at Akame’s comment, “That is quite alright. You are new here, and I am not yet your boss.”
“Oh, you speak English?” Tara asked.
“Yes,” Masaru answered, “I speak perfect English. I employed Akame to help you with daily activity, but here…” Masaru shook his head, “She is not really needed. Come!” he said with full enthusiasm, “Let us discuss my business proposal.”

Tara’s eyes lingered on the code for a moment longer, and as she began walking forward to join Masaru the scene shifted and the past was soon gone… we go into the present-day where Tara is standing in the same dojo.

---

Tara, wearing a traditional kimono, was standing inside of a rather large room that was traditionally designed as a dojo; there were some traditional Japanese calligraphy art displayed proudly on the wall; as well as an amazing piece of artwork that displayed a Samurai standing across from a westernized army. The calligraphy had the Bushido Code written on it.


Her eyes seemed mesmerized by each stroke that was made in writing the code, when a sudden voice disrupted her silent contemplation.

“(Tara! It has been too long!)” the voice called out, and Tara turned to see who it was that had come to greet her and found it to be the familiar face from 2007. Akame. Tara smiled at her friend, and she wanted to go in for a hug but Akame stopped and bowed low; Tara bowed in turn, but upon both of them straightening up, Tara couldn’t help herself and pulled her friend into a hug.

“(How have you been?)” Tara asked. Her dialect wasn’t as strong as Akame’s, Akame being a native speaker, and Tara having only learned primarily the basics… she still struggled to order food at the restaurants, but the important part to her was that she would try.

“(I have been good!)” Akame answered.
“(I saw that you’ve done more than translating lately… you’ve become a bigger star here.)” Tara said, quite proudly.
“(Yes, because of what you taught me.)” Akame said. Her eyes sparkled with admiration for Tara, who had taken her under her wing and trained her to compete at the highest level. Akame never strayed from Japan to compete; she loved her home too much to leave, she loved being able to be with her own family. She did not seek the glamorous lifestyle that Tara had earned, and Tara was not the type who wanted to force it onto others. She knew Akame had the skill, but not the desire, and so long as she was happy; Tara was happy for her. “(I had heard that you retired. It had me upset.)” Akame said. Her voice perfectly matched the feeling that she had the day that Tara had announced-- or tried-- to retire.
“(I tried to. I had my second child, and just… the fire wasn’t there.)” Tara said with a heavy sigh.
“(But then I heard that you returned, and signed with Project: Honor, and they had a show here. I was hoping I would get to see you.)” Akame continued.
“(Yes, we have a show tomorrow night. Are you going to be there?)” Tara asked.
Akame answered with a mere smile, and that was all Tara needed to know. Akame was not going to miss the chance to see her friend and mentor step into the ring. “(People are already talking about this match. They say it has been so long since they have seen the phoenix step into the ring, and she was going to be in the ring with the shining star. Any fan would recognize the potential that is there… Everyone knows that they are going to witness something magical.)” Akame said with an unwavering voice.
“(Shouta sure is something.)” Tara answered.

The two continued their conversation, and catching up on the times that have passed since Tara returned to the United States to compete exclusively for the Imperial Wrestling Federation for a short time before going on a hiatus. A decision that she has since lifted, clearly by her presence in Project: Honor.

---

It was a warm, beautiful evening… The sky was still clear, and from Tara’s hotel room, she still had an astounding view of Mount Fuji similar to how she had seen it from the airport. There were lanterns clinging to the wall that provided ample light for the guests of this room. During this visit it was just the one guest, though; Tara Fenix. There was a towel draped over one of the chairs outside of the jacuzzi, and the same kimono she was wearing earlier was hung up perfectly.

Tara was sitting up in the jacuzzi, leaning over the far edge of it. Just enjoying the view of Mount Fuji. Her back was fully exposed; it was a strong back, strong shoulders, strength that she had built up over a long career and a lifetime of having to be strong for her sons as well as herself. There were numerous tattoos that stretched from around her shoulder to her shoulder-blade, some along her sides, halfway down her arms. Her back was also covered with scars from past battles; all of the weapons that dug into her skin. The sharp edges of a ladder, the splinters of a table, barbed wire, thumbtacks, nails, glass; if you could think of it, odds are she was hit with it, and each object left its mark. There were old ones, and there were fresh ones. But as scarred as it was, it was still strong. Strength that she had acquired by taking many people under her wing in her years… It was more than her own success, she wanted to ensure the success of the future. She already had several students in the industry that were beginning to turn names; she carried them. When a company had little starpower, she would carry the entire company on her back. This was the strong back of a fighter, a warrior, a savage, a woman, who made it in this industry without help; her first son, for his first few years, was raised by her while she still had to go out and compete. It made her stronger. This was the strong back of a woman who created and carried an entire legacy on her back. It made her stronger. This is the strong back of a woman. Despite all of her own hardships, she was still standing, and she was still moving forward.

A smirk could be seen creeping across her face. She knew that every new battle would bring a new scar, and each scar tells its story; what will the next one tell? She crossed her arms across the far edge of the jacuzzi, and leaned against them before speaking to the camera she knew was present behind her.

“The Bushido Code… Admirable traits that every fighter-- every warrior-- should look into before they ever consider making a life of it. Honor. Respect. Integrity. Courage. Honesty. Loyalty. Compassion. These are traits that seem to have more intrinsic value than we give credit for, for these are traits that we all look for in our fellow competitors that seem to follow every traditional path of a warrior. It’s easy-- quite easy for some of us to stray from the path, and it’s a path that I will admit to saying… I did not always follow. But the moment I learned it: I became better by it. It was something that I tried to instill into all of my students once I learned of it, and it is something that is sacred to me.”

Tara nodded her head, appreciating the code for what it was, but she tilted her head and gave a brief shrug, “This does not diminish my own confidence, and it doesn’t mean that I’m not going to talk my talk… It just means when that bell sounds, I will honor them by following that code.”

She turned her head over her shoulder and ran her tongue across her lips before bringing an arm up while gesturing for the camera to turn away. It did. You can hear the water swashing in the background, and when the camera was given permission, turned back around and Tara was now seated in the jacuzzi.

“Every time I step into the ring, I leave… everything… inside of the ring. I give… everything… inside of the ring. It’s never mattered to me who I was facing; whether it was the person at the top of the totem pole, or whether I was part of the welcoming committee for someone looking to turn heads by saying they stood toe-to-toe with the great Tara Fenix,” Tara said with a smirk, “Most of those people ended up tapping out maybe…” Tara took her hands down and adjusted in her seat inside of the jacuzzi. She rolled her eyes while trying to consider how long those rookies lasted in their first match against her, “Two--” she said, almost questioning herself, “--maybe three minutes.” She returned her gaze to the camera, “Three minutes has probably been the longest before I had them tapping and just a warm, warm welcome to the industry! These were people that were beaming with absolute confidence; people that thought that because they had a mixed martial arts background, known for their athleticism, and they were torn down a peg or two because they were beat… by a woman.” She cocked her head to the side and snickered. She had thought the days of believing men and women could not stand in the ring together were behind her, but deep down she knew that there would always be that one person, that one man, who did not believe that they belonged no matter how many times Tara, and other strong women in the industry proved that they did.

“There were a few--” she said with a nod, “--who excelled. There were a few that I remember seeing in such facilities that stood and were just… absolutely humble. There were people that you could tell were honored to have just a moment to share with me, because they saw me for what I was… they saw me for what I am… And they knew that I had a lot to share with them. They knew that I had a lot that I could teach them. There were some that were just-- a shining star and would go on to earn my respect before I ever got the chance to share the ring with them.”

She chuckled and sank a little into the water until it was almost past her neck.

“This young individual embodied everything that I tried to encompass to my students. This young individual, although still a child, had everything encompassed by the Bushido code, and one thing more… HEART. This person would grow up to become who the world would know as MYŌJIN.” She takes a deep breath while contemplating the individual that she would respect, and one of the two people that she would be standing across the ring from at Proving Ground, “I’ve been around this world, and I have seen some of the greatest competitors. I have been in the ring with the greatest competitors, but there’s none… no one… that has gotten my attention quite like MYŌJIN has by pure, raw, talent. People look at someone like MYŌJIN and think…”

Tara reaches a hand out of the water, and the water splashes down as she gives an exaggerated shrug ending it with slapping her hand on the surface before bringing it back under.

“MYŌJIN is so small… puny… What could they possibly do? And the answer is--” Tara says while leaning forward again, “--EVERYTHING. Everything! When I first began my career, there were a lot of biased people in the industry… There were people that felt that no smaller figure would ever accomplish anything. This was an industry-- a world-- built for giants, and if you were not of such a height, or such a weight, don’t even bother. You might as well just become a manager.”

There was a look of pure disgust on her face, “That was a fate that everyone thought I was destined for. They thought that I would be in the corner for my ex-husband for the entirety of my career! Because this was a man’s game, and he met all the requirements. But I was a woman, and I didn’t. I broke that barrier. I told management that I wasn’t going to sit on the sidelines while I knew I could compete with all of these people, and tear these giants down to size and beat them at a game they were unfamiliar with… I did that. I turned their heads. I made them pay attention, and now-- they no longer wanted me on the sidelines. They wanted me in the heat of the action! They wanted my name on the marquee! They wanted me… to slay… their giants.” Tara said with a bright and proud smile.

“There were few people that could do it as well as I did. There were few people who could match what I accomplished. But the game has changed-- everyone saw Tara the conqueror, conquer every giant that was set out in front of her… and they knew… They knew just as well as I knew for myself, and just as I knew they could accomplish it: they could slay the same giants! The game changed, and for the better. This was no longer a territory dominated by giants, but dominated by people that had a trait that seemed to be slacked at the time… finesse. It took a certain finesse to be able to do what I could do, and I always looked around-- I always looked to see who would rise to the challenge, and one day could be my equal. There were some. There were people that caught my eye. But none so much as MYŌJIN. MYŌJIN was one of the people that I saw, and saw that they were able to go and do the things that I was able to do… MYŌJIN was able to fly like me, MYŌJIN was able to maneuver like me, MYŌJIN was able to drag the giants down to size and beat them at a game they were oblivious to. MYŌJIN-- and I-- have never been able to step foot in the ring with each other, but truth be told, I don’t need to, to know that I’m going to get the fight of a lifetime. A fight that I look forward to. And when that bell sounds… respect. Nothing but love.”

Tara takes a moment to take a deep breath. The moment that MYŌJIN entered her mind, she was already playing chess inside of her mind; if MYŌJIN moved a certain way, how would she reply? It was a constant battle inside of her head when a match was announced because she was always considering the capabilities of her opponent, and how she would have to beat them, but this time was different. This time, with MYŌJIN, there were no limits to the capabilities.

“Then there is the Warrior Rising Champion… Emmanuelle. There is a good reason, a valid reason, that you became the Warrior Rising Champion and have held it for the time you have which-- it should really come as no surprise. MYŌJIN has the utmost amount of respect for you, and I have the utmost amount of respect for MYŌJIN. But it’s more than that: since I had my first match at Hell on Earth, I remember seeing… the absolute chaos and utter confusing match-up that was dubbed the Seven Gates of Hell.

Seven people marched down to the ring with one goal, and that was to take the Warrior Rising Championship away from you. Seven people failed. Against all odds, you walked out of Hell on Earth with the Warrior Rising Championship intact! As if that wasn’t enough, you then had to sit back and watch twelve people fight over a chance to fight you. You saw that number cut in half, and then you had to watch those six people fight for a chance to face you…” Tara chuckled as the next thought came to her mind, “And it would be two of those six people that would advance. Yours truly, and Lil Petey. But let me be frank about that: Lil Petey tapped out. It really should be me advancing but--” Tara shrugged, “--what can you do?” Tara shook her head and couldn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes.

“Anyways, there’s a reason that you are the person that we are going after… There’s a reason that you are holding that championship. There is a reason that you have the respect of your peers, and that is because… You are good. You can’t be counted out. You don’t give up. You fight. But there is one issue that I take issue with, and… make no mistake, I fully understand; most of us are not doing it merely for the love of it. But there is more to us than just that. Financial gain. A stepping stone. Make no mistake, Emmanuelle, you are good at what you do, but are you doing it because you want to or just doing it to get yourself somewhere else?

Because I--” Tara pressed a hand near her collar, sitting up more out of the water, “--do this because I love it. The reason I did step away from the ring, despite me knowing full well that I had the talent to go out to the ring each and every week and continue earning top dollar for my ability… But it didn’t feel right. It felt dirty. That was why I stepped away: because my love for the game wasn’t there, and I felt that if my passion for wrestling was not there, then why should I disrespect my opponents by even bothering? Because the rest of us: we do this because we love it. We don’t want to do anything else. When I came back, my fire-- my passion-- for this industry was reignited. And please, don’t take this as disrespect from me toward you because I know what it is you are out here seeking… Take it as me just wanting you to find that fire, because I know full well you’re going to need it when you step into the ring with Lil Petey and myself to defend that belt you’re wearing. You’re going to need your heart when you step into the ring with me. Nothing else can matter, because… Emmanuelle… I live for this. I breathe for this. I am-- this. I look forward to getting a sample of the taste of things to come.” Tara finished that last word by licking her lips.

She had a sly smirk, and bit her lip as she considered the last piece of the puzzle. The last person that would share the ring with Tara, MYŌJIN, and Emmanuelle on Proving Ground. The current X-Factor Champion, Lance Williams.

“There is something indifferent that we all know about tag team matches-- something that I’ve come to know in all of my years which is why… I typically avoided tag team matches… which is why I didn’t let John Blade be the reason that I would be eliminated-- I had to carry… him… to victory. But that’s not something that I can do against the likes of MYŌJIN and Emmanuelle which means that, much to my own dismay-- I have to trust Lance Williams.” Tara shivers.

“We do have a little bit of a thing, don’t we?” Tara re-adjusted, “We agreed that we have a… love/hate thing, and so I’m going to put my trust in you, Lance. But let’s not kid ourselves, it’s probably you that has to question if I’m going to have your back-- it’s you that is going to question if my friendship is going to get in the way of us having our arms raised in unison as the winners, and with that thought in mind… I’m going to go ahead and tell you: I don’t know. I don’t know if you’re going to do something that is going to make me snap, and prevent you from doing everything in your power to ensure we walk out as the winners… I don’t know if you’re going to be smart enough to know that that’s not a line you want to dance on. Because, I promise you, if I feel that you are taking things too far-- I will stop you. I will end you. And then I will finish this match my-damn-self if I have to.” The look on her face was quite stern. Just as the game of chess was being played in her mind of what MYŌJIN and Emmanuelle would do, she had to consider what her own ally was going to do and what her response would be if he had crossed a line.

“I know you’re capable, Lance… I know you’re a fighter. I know you’re a warrior. I know that you are real! All those words that we’ve had together-- whether it was just for fun, or us actually trying to hurt each other… Those are words. But I heard what you had to say when you were going to the rumble, and had every intention of walking out as the number one contender for the Grand Championship-- you earned the title of the ironman; we were eliminated at the same exact moment! You proved your worth. When people argued against you saying that you did not earn that belt that you are wearing--” Tara pointed at the camera, as if to indicate the belt, “--you proved that you did.”

“Make no mistake, Lance: I know it. MYŌJIN knows it. Indy knows it. You are a fucking warrior! And you are a champion! When you get home, it’s straight to training… But… we’re a lot alike. I’m the same way. I don’t usually stop to rest. I don’t take an easy day. I win one match, and I look for the next. I win a title, and I look for the next. I break one record, and I look for the next. There is no rest for the wicked-- there is no rest for us. But don’t…” she said softly, “--play with me when it comes to crossing that line.

I know that MYŌJIN is the number one contender for your championship, and you want to send a message… but the message will be sent if you and I can just act as a team for one night, and win. You are going to show my dear friend MYŌJIN that you are a serious champion by winning, and I-- well, I’m going to show Emmanuelle that I am a serious contender by winning. That’s all we need to do. That’s it. Can we do that, Lance? Can we be on the same page? I have no doubt that we will be.

So at Proving Ground… let’s just tear the roof down, okay?” Tara slumps back into the jacuzzi again, getting comfortable, “I look forward to this one-- I look forward to adding a few new stories to my body.” Written with a scar. Tara thought to herself as the scene went black.

---

The first practice was coming from inside of a wrestling school; most of the students inside had already been known to be excellent athletes, but despite their conditioning, most of them had not been in a real fight; fewer had experience of stepping into the ring. But there was one person that stood out as talent; bright-eyed, beaming with confidence, pride, and the willingness to learn. Tara let her eyes linger on the smaller stature of the individual that stood before her. This was Shouta. MYŌJIN.