Post by masondestruction on Jun 1, 2021 15:00:18 GMT -5
“ Why are you crying? “
A redundant question asked to a toddler who was currently screaming his lungs out. I knew the answer, it’s the same answer he’s given me every time\ I walk out that door. It’s almost become our little routine… He watches me pack my bags, as he packs his and we drive over to his mother’s house. He grabs his bag, but as soon as he sees that I’m not grabbing mine it breaks his heart all over again. I can see it in his face, that realization that he won’t be seeing daddy for a while. Even if it was just a few days, that’s an eternity in the eyes of a four-year-old. Clarrisa stood at the open door, her eyes closed as Kadence screams for me not to leave, pounding his fists onto the couch.
From my crouched position next to him, I reach out and place my hand on his back to try and tell him that everything is going to be okay, that he’ll see me before again he even knows it. But he fights my touch, quivers at my words, and belts out in more tears. Constantly asking why, why I don’t just wrestle in the backyard anymore, why he can’t come with me.
Why am I abandoning him?
And that’s when it hits me, like a fucking bullet directly to every nerve that lines my body. I go from a crouched position to sitting with my back up against the couch.
Was any of this even worth it? Was I being greedy by thinking I could live my dreams and still give Kadence his father? What’s a title match when your son is begging you not to leave? Fallout, Wrestling... Did any of it even mean that much to me? More than my son.
Clarissa had noticed me sitting there staring off into nothing, the screams of our child softening to a weep. She walks over, but I stare right through her - only hearing the comfort of her voice as she sat down next to me.
“You’re doing the right thing, Mason.” She says as she wraps her hand around mine.
“ He will get over this, as he has done time and time before. He only acts this way because of how much he loves you. How much you mean to him. But he’s still just a kid Mace, and when he’s older he’ll understand the sacrifices you’re making for him. “
Her grip tightens, and I start to see again through tear-filled eyes. I grip her hand back and shake my head before burying my face into my forearm, trying to hide the waterworks.
“ I know that… But is it worth it? Flying all over the world, being a wrestler, finally breaking free from the same old fucking bullshit of this town. “
Lifting my face, my words become a bit whinier as I try to explain myself.
“ Not that I don’t love it here… It’s made me who I am, I get to be Mason Destruction on the TV because of what I created here… But… But it just wasn’t good enough! “
Turning my head to her, I continue to plead my case as she stares at me with a look that says it’s not needed. But I’m already in my feelings.
“ Bleeding in the backyard for a couple dozen of friends on the weekends while working 60 plus hours at CAT just to make fucking ends meet? It was ridiculous! I needed to get out of here… But I’m not abandoning him, Clair! I’m not! “
She looks at me like she wants to say something, something that she hasn’t said to me in a long time. But she stops herself because this wasn’t the time for that. We both knew that it doesn’t work between us on an intimate level, but none the less she was my best friend.
Sliding her hand out of mine, she stands up and motions for me too as well. Wiping my nose on my arm and I push my hands down into the carpeting and stand, taking a few steps forward before noticing that her eyes are now on our son.
He was asleep, worn out with his war on not understanding.
We stand there together as parents, she wraps her arm around my waist and rests her head on my shoulder.
“ We know you’re not abandoning us. You’re showing Kadence that no matter what you want in life, no matter how hard it may seem… That you can achieve those things, that’ it’s okay to dream. “
Wiping a few tears from her eyes, she walks over to the couch and lifts our son, cradling him in her arms - something he doesn’t really allow us to do anymore, at least when he’s awake. She walks over and stops in front of me.
“ Now give your son a kiss, and get the fuck out of here Mason. You’ve got a championship to win. “
Like an overly glue-sticked gift, those words stuck onto me as I kissed Kadence’s forehead and turned my back on the two of them
Walking out of the door, and once again leaving my family in Indiana.
After the door closed behind me, everything else became a blur, a motion. Driving to the airport, checking in, getting myself some nicotine gum because they won’t let you smoke inside of the terminals, or on the plane for that matter. By the time I even remember to catch a breath, it’s very early in the morning - and I’m sitting in the unsettlingly quiet gate area for my flight. My legs kicked out in front of me, and my hands behind my head as I took this chance to close my eyes.
At some point, I had changed into my favorite pair of loose-fitting basketball shorts, and a bright blue “Liu Uzi Chang” T-shirt. I had my contrasting red baseball cap backward, as all the cool kids do. As my eyes open, they narrow in on the camera that was dangling above my head. I grin, more of a half-hearted smirk as I sit forward and rub my hands together.
“ You know something? It hurts me to leave here, Indiana, my home. It hurts me in ways that a lot of you I’m coming up against couldn’t even imagine. Not to downplay any of y’all personal lives, though I’m pretty sure all Lesley does hang around truck stop bathrooms asking big burly individuals in they’ve seen the light. And hey, whatever works I guess - I’m not the leader of some mind-altering cult, I don’t try to play Charles Manson or Jonestown. If you tell me there’s an alien ship following an asteroid, I’ll tell you I’m the fuckin’ pope! “
Classic, I couldn’t help but laugh at my own joke - which echoed throughout the airport in a way that sent a shiver down my spine. Reaching into my luggage I pull out the nicotine gum I had purchased earlier and pop a tab into my mouth.
“ But I’m getting ahead of myself because first off we have to speak about the elephant in the room and no I don’t mean the size of Logan’s balls calling himself a heart-breaker with a face like that. I’m talking about the fact that I won at Disputed territory, guaranteeing me a one-on-one match with Kasey Winterborn. “
Grinding my teeth, a touch of aggravation hammers through my words.
“ But that’s not what I got in front of me, is it? No instead of the match that I earned, I have a tag-team match with the belt on the line. A glorified four corners match, where my partner could steal the belt away from me… Just by tagging himself in at the right time… Maybe he sneaks up behind me after I snap our champion in half and steals my pin, like our pal Adora, ol’ slappin’ man!”
The number of times Lesley slapped me in that match, still had my jaw a little bit sore as I open my mouth and wiggle the bottom half. Never taking my eyes off the camera, instead, doubling down and narrowing them in to make sure my message is clear.
“We all saw the outcome of Disputed Territory, we all saw that I earned my place as number one contender. So on behalf of everyone… I’d like to apologize to you Kasey because you went through hell and back in a playground to defend that championship, and now? It might not even be your shoulders that get counted one, two, three. And that’s bullshit because you have been one hell of a champion, you’ve split blood for that belt.
And when I win it? Even if I take from you personally… I’ll give you your rematch Kasey, because you earned it. Just like I earned my shot at you. “
With a charming smile that dripped with my own ego, I sit forward, clasping my hands together and drooping my head down. As my head bobs to the muffled airport music which plays overhead, I look back into the camera - my tongue slightly peaking out of my mouth, flicking my lip ring.
“ Either way I see it, I have another opportunity waiting for me just around the corner. So if things don’t go my way? If Kasey is able to pin my partner, it’s not the end of the world to me. “
Raising an eyebrow, my gums smacking as I chew away at the nicotine.
“ But I don’t plan on losing either. I’m just saying that, unlike Lesley, unlike Logan… This isn’t all or nothing for me, I don’t have that edge that they have. Because in this match? They’re scavengers, they all need to get their fill and that line is right there at the Ascension Championship, it’s right there at you Kasey. And while they might see that to their advantage, I see it as their weakness. All of their cards are on the table, but me? I only have one card… I’m still waiting for the rest of my hand.
But what have I been dealt so far?
An Ace…
And when I look at my opponents, and even my partner, I see a king, a queen, and a jack. Or maybe Lesley is more of a joker? But that doesn’t really fit this narrative does it, so for now we’ll call him a king. “
God damn metaphors
“ And that’s 21.”
Over the speaker, I hear the words.
“ Now boarding flight 104 to Bogata, Colombia. “
That same phrase repeats in multiple different languages, as I realize the airport wasn’t as empty as it was when I first started talking. Maybe they had always been there and I just hadn’t noticed, either way, I got a few eyes as I stood up - my frame towering over those around me. I lift my suitcase from the ground haul it over my shoulder, letting out a exhale, and looking toward the camera one last time.
“ Wrestling isn’t a card game, and words… are just that. Words. They don’t mean anything until you put them to action. But as I board my flight, I want the three of you to know, that this right here… Getting on that plane, leaving Indiana, leaving my son…
That’s the hardest part of winning the Ascension championship, the rest? It’s blackjack baby. “
Was that a strong enough of a phrase to walk out on? It didn’t matter, giving the camera a wink I turn my back to it and make my way to the desk so the lady can check my ticket - the scene slowly fading to black.
A redundant question asked to a toddler who was currently screaming his lungs out. I knew the answer, it’s the same answer he’s given me every time\ I walk out that door. It’s almost become our little routine… He watches me pack my bags, as he packs his and we drive over to his mother’s house. He grabs his bag, but as soon as he sees that I’m not grabbing mine it breaks his heart all over again. I can see it in his face, that realization that he won’t be seeing daddy for a while. Even if it was just a few days, that’s an eternity in the eyes of a four-year-old. Clarrisa stood at the open door, her eyes closed as Kadence screams for me not to leave, pounding his fists onto the couch.
From my crouched position next to him, I reach out and place my hand on his back to try and tell him that everything is going to be okay, that he’ll see me before again he even knows it. But he fights my touch, quivers at my words, and belts out in more tears. Constantly asking why, why I don’t just wrestle in the backyard anymore, why he can’t come with me.
Why am I abandoning him?
And that’s when it hits me, like a fucking bullet directly to every nerve that lines my body. I go from a crouched position to sitting with my back up against the couch.
Was any of this even worth it? Was I being greedy by thinking I could live my dreams and still give Kadence his father? What’s a title match when your son is begging you not to leave? Fallout, Wrestling... Did any of it even mean that much to me? More than my son.
Clarissa had noticed me sitting there staring off into nothing, the screams of our child softening to a weep. She walks over, but I stare right through her - only hearing the comfort of her voice as she sat down next to me.
“You’re doing the right thing, Mason.” She says as she wraps her hand around mine.
“ He will get over this, as he has done time and time before. He only acts this way because of how much he loves you. How much you mean to him. But he’s still just a kid Mace, and when he’s older he’ll understand the sacrifices you’re making for him. “
Her grip tightens, and I start to see again through tear-filled eyes. I grip her hand back and shake my head before burying my face into my forearm, trying to hide the waterworks.
“ I know that… But is it worth it? Flying all over the world, being a wrestler, finally breaking free from the same old fucking bullshit of this town. “
Lifting my face, my words become a bit whinier as I try to explain myself.
“ Not that I don’t love it here… It’s made me who I am, I get to be Mason Destruction on the TV because of what I created here… But… But it just wasn’t good enough! “
Turning my head to her, I continue to plead my case as she stares at me with a look that says it’s not needed. But I’m already in my feelings.
“ Bleeding in the backyard for a couple dozen of friends on the weekends while working 60 plus hours at CAT just to make fucking ends meet? It was ridiculous! I needed to get out of here… But I’m not abandoning him, Clair! I’m not! “
She looks at me like she wants to say something, something that she hasn’t said to me in a long time. But she stops herself because this wasn’t the time for that. We both knew that it doesn’t work between us on an intimate level, but none the less she was my best friend.
Sliding her hand out of mine, she stands up and motions for me too as well. Wiping my nose on my arm and I push my hands down into the carpeting and stand, taking a few steps forward before noticing that her eyes are now on our son.
He was asleep, worn out with his war on not understanding.
We stand there together as parents, she wraps her arm around my waist and rests her head on my shoulder.
“ We know you’re not abandoning us. You’re showing Kadence that no matter what you want in life, no matter how hard it may seem… That you can achieve those things, that’ it’s okay to dream. “
Wiping a few tears from her eyes, she walks over to the couch and lifts our son, cradling him in her arms - something he doesn’t really allow us to do anymore, at least when he’s awake. She walks over and stops in front of me.
“ Now give your son a kiss, and get the fuck out of here Mason. You’ve got a championship to win. “
Like an overly glue-sticked gift, those words stuck onto me as I kissed Kadence’s forehead and turned my back on the two of them
Walking out of the door, and once again leaving my family in Indiana.
After the door closed behind me, everything else became a blur, a motion. Driving to the airport, checking in, getting myself some nicotine gum because they won’t let you smoke inside of the terminals, or on the plane for that matter. By the time I even remember to catch a breath, it’s very early in the morning - and I’m sitting in the unsettlingly quiet gate area for my flight. My legs kicked out in front of me, and my hands behind my head as I took this chance to close my eyes.
At some point, I had changed into my favorite pair of loose-fitting basketball shorts, and a bright blue “Liu Uzi Chang” T-shirt. I had my contrasting red baseball cap backward, as all the cool kids do. As my eyes open, they narrow in on the camera that was dangling above my head. I grin, more of a half-hearted smirk as I sit forward and rub my hands together.
“ You know something? It hurts me to leave here, Indiana, my home. It hurts me in ways that a lot of you I’m coming up against couldn’t even imagine. Not to downplay any of y’all personal lives, though I’m pretty sure all Lesley does hang around truck stop bathrooms asking big burly individuals in they’ve seen the light. And hey, whatever works I guess - I’m not the leader of some mind-altering cult, I don’t try to play Charles Manson or Jonestown. If you tell me there’s an alien ship following an asteroid, I’ll tell you I’m the fuckin’ pope! “
Classic, I couldn’t help but laugh at my own joke - which echoed throughout the airport in a way that sent a shiver down my spine. Reaching into my luggage I pull out the nicotine gum I had purchased earlier and pop a tab into my mouth.
“ But I’m getting ahead of myself because first off we have to speak about the elephant in the room and no I don’t mean the size of Logan’s balls calling himself a heart-breaker with a face like that. I’m talking about the fact that I won at Disputed territory, guaranteeing me a one-on-one match with Kasey Winterborn. “
Grinding my teeth, a touch of aggravation hammers through my words.
“ But that’s not what I got in front of me, is it? No instead of the match that I earned, I have a tag-team match with the belt on the line. A glorified four corners match, where my partner could steal the belt away from me… Just by tagging himself in at the right time… Maybe he sneaks up behind me after I snap our champion in half and steals my pin, like our pal Adora, ol’ slappin’ man!”
The number of times Lesley slapped me in that match, still had my jaw a little bit sore as I open my mouth and wiggle the bottom half. Never taking my eyes off the camera, instead, doubling down and narrowing them in to make sure my message is clear.
“We all saw the outcome of Disputed Territory, we all saw that I earned my place as number one contender. So on behalf of everyone… I’d like to apologize to you Kasey because you went through hell and back in a playground to defend that championship, and now? It might not even be your shoulders that get counted one, two, three. And that’s bullshit because you have been one hell of a champion, you’ve split blood for that belt.
And when I win it? Even if I take from you personally… I’ll give you your rematch Kasey, because you earned it. Just like I earned my shot at you. “
With a charming smile that dripped with my own ego, I sit forward, clasping my hands together and drooping my head down. As my head bobs to the muffled airport music which plays overhead, I look back into the camera - my tongue slightly peaking out of my mouth, flicking my lip ring.
“ Either way I see it, I have another opportunity waiting for me just around the corner. So if things don’t go my way? If Kasey is able to pin my partner, it’s not the end of the world to me. “
Raising an eyebrow, my gums smacking as I chew away at the nicotine.
“ But I don’t plan on losing either. I’m just saying that, unlike Lesley, unlike Logan… This isn’t all or nothing for me, I don’t have that edge that they have. Because in this match? They’re scavengers, they all need to get their fill and that line is right there at the Ascension Championship, it’s right there at you Kasey. And while they might see that to their advantage, I see it as their weakness. All of their cards are on the table, but me? I only have one card… I’m still waiting for the rest of my hand.
But what have I been dealt so far?
An Ace…
And when I look at my opponents, and even my partner, I see a king, a queen, and a jack. Or maybe Lesley is more of a joker? But that doesn’t really fit this narrative does it, so for now we’ll call him a king. “
God damn metaphors
“ And that’s 21.”
Over the speaker, I hear the words.
“ Now boarding flight 104 to Bogata, Colombia. “
That same phrase repeats in multiple different languages, as I realize the airport wasn’t as empty as it was when I first started talking. Maybe they had always been there and I just hadn’t noticed, either way, I got a few eyes as I stood up - my frame towering over those around me. I lift my suitcase from the ground haul it over my shoulder, letting out a exhale, and looking toward the camera one last time.
“ Wrestling isn’t a card game, and words… are just that. Words. They don’t mean anything until you put them to action. But as I board my flight, I want the three of you to know, that this right here… Getting on that plane, leaving Indiana, leaving my son…
That’s the hardest part of winning the Ascension championship, the rest? It’s blackjack baby. “
Was that a strong enough of a phrase to walk out on? It didn’t matter, giving the camera a wink I turn my back to it and make my way to the desk so the lady can check my ticket - the scene slowly fading to black.