Post by Ratball Slade on Jan 16, 2022 23:43:58 GMT -5
The camera begins to fade in on Meatball standing in the center of the Project Underground ring, surrounded by seats of the empty 2300 Arena. The color slowly truns from a black and white to full color. He has his fists to his hips and his chest puffed out. Beads of sweat slowly drip from his head as he stares dead ahead to the camera. Behind him on the entrance ramp is his signature Harley still quietly rumbling as Meatball begins to speak.
Meatball: You wanna know a lil' something about Meatball? I got lots to tell. I could be considered a simple man of a complex background. You may have guessed by now that I'm somewhat of a bad man. At least I try. There was a time, where that was nearly not the case. I'm disgusted by the thought of that now but why don't we take a look at how that almost happened.
The large screen on the stage behind Meatball comes to life displaying various simple imagery. Until it stops scrolling through images and ends on a picture of a happy looking Meatball who must be at least 100lbs lighter than he is now. He is smiling with an unknown woman in his arms.
Meatball: There I am. Happy as can be. Absolutely disgraceful. You see, there was a time in my life where I almost ended up a much different man than I am now. I had a stable job, I had lost a lot of weight, and I ended up with that woman who I can only now refer to as the devil. She may be the only soulless being on this planet too bad for even me. You see, I'm the king of Evil but this lady would find ways to hurt you and you'd never even know she did it.
Meatball pushes a button on a small remote in his hand causing the screen to jump to the next picture. It's a picture of Meatball working on his Harley at a small mechanic shop.
Meatball: During this time period I was working at a mechanic shop that specialized in bikes. The whole wrestling thing hadn't quite taken off and I needed money. I was ashamed of myself for failing to get into the wrestling business but I was content following one of my other passions. This is where I met that treacherous woman. She came in on her bike and at first I assumed she was the type who just rode for the looks but she knew her bike in and out. Hell, she taught me a thing or two. One thing led to another and we hit it off.
Meatball clicks to the next slide which shows him in the gym doing push-ups with the woman on his back.
Meatball: She was the one who suggested I lose weight. I got no issue with how I look but I guess something about my gut wasn't presentable enough for her. So I worked my ass off day after day, losing weight, pound after pound. She pushed me so far past my damn limit I injured myself maybe forty times by the end of it. She always pushed me super hard. She was a hard ass just like me. I could see through the façade.
Meatball looks down with an almost sympathetic expression before it sours into an expression of disgust.
Meatball: Turns out, she had a mean streak just like myself. I mean, we attract like-minded people so I wasn't surprised. I enjoyed that aspect of her. Made me push myself to make sure I was never out done. No one can be as bad as the Big Bad Meatball. No one. We started going out and trying to outdo each other when it came to ruining peoples day. For some reason though, she always just wanted to ruin my day. Every damn time I'd do something mean she'd just end up kicking me in the balls and laugh at me. I mean, where's the creativity in that? Well either way it was effective.
Meatball clicks to the final panel where most of it is covered by a mosaic censor. It was the woman with a large man in a biker vest both with wide expressions of shock. Meatball refuses to look at the screen as his eyes begin to well up and his voice gets shaky.
Meatball: Well, one day she decided it was time for the biggest move of evil she could possibly perform. She slept with my goddamn best friend and the second hand of my gang. I could barely take it. Right on my damn bed too! Of all the ways to hurt a man, this was the worst she could do. Or so I thought. You see, we were competing and she wanted to win, so I let it slide. I took a break form evil after that. We started living... normally. I saw that being bad sometimes did more harm then you knew. So I decided to get better. I started focusing on being a better person.
Meatball clicks the button revealing a very similar slide but this time with multiple people in biker vests with the woman.
Meatball: She decided it was no fun being nice and DID IT AGAIN! This time with my entire damn gang! She even made sure to include Lenny who is paralyzed from the waist down from a motor accident. Good for Larry I suppose...
Meatball is now visibly fighting back tears barely able to keep up his normal bravado. He clicks past the slide leaving a lone image of Meatball on his bike driving away in the familiar black and white we see at the start of his promos.
Meatball: It was there when I gave up on "love". I realized something so powerful must be stomped out with a similarly powerful emotion. Hate. I let my hatred for Slab and that evil woman empower my wrestling journey. I learned I had slipped to much. I needed to get tougher, meaner, badder. I hope those bastards can see me now. He took my dreams and she took my gang and happiness. Now you just got one mad Meatball main eventing Project Underground.
Meatball begins to turn his sadness into anger as he barks through the tears streaming down his face.
Meatball: GRAVES! That's just where I'm gonna put you after I'm done with you! You hear me goddamn it! THE BIG BAD MEATBALL AIN'T PLAYIN!
Meatball's face get's redder and redder with each sentence that shoots from his lips.
Meatball: When it's just you and me in that ring, I'm not just fighting Cristopher Graves, I'm fighting Slab and the devil too! I'm gonna bully you until you don't ever want a bite of this competition ever again Graves. You think your are all that but I'll show you how wrong you are. You ever met a man like me? A man so determined to hurt people... a man so determined to ruin people, that he don't stop for nothing? I don't care who you are, where you've been, what record or accolades you may have. You call yourself a goat? You know what I do to goats? I'll tell you what I do to goats. I'm gonna crush your bones to dust. I'll squeeze your flesh into Jelly. After that, I'm gonna be so famished from beating your ass senseless, I'll put you in between two pieces of bread just so I can have a bonedust and Jelly sandwich. I'll call it a goat sandwich cause it'll be filled with you. I bet it'll taste like goat shit too! Fuck, I want a sandwich now...
Meatball begins to slowly calm himself as he's to worked up to even speak properly now. He turns to the screen and clicks the button in his hand one last time going back to the first image of the two happy as can be. He drops two his knees as his arms dangle at his sides. He begins to mutter under his breath only barely able to be picked up by the camera.
Meatball: Cheryl, I miss you so much. Please take me back...
The picture slowly begins to fade out with Meatballs back to the camera. Soon we are left with Meatballs signature logo, "Big Bad Inc." over a black screen.
Meatball: You wanna know a lil' something about Meatball? I got lots to tell. I could be considered a simple man of a complex background. You may have guessed by now that I'm somewhat of a bad man. At least I try. There was a time, where that was nearly not the case. I'm disgusted by the thought of that now but why don't we take a look at how that almost happened.
The large screen on the stage behind Meatball comes to life displaying various simple imagery. Until it stops scrolling through images and ends on a picture of a happy looking Meatball who must be at least 100lbs lighter than he is now. He is smiling with an unknown woman in his arms.
Meatball: There I am. Happy as can be. Absolutely disgraceful. You see, there was a time in my life where I almost ended up a much different man than I am now. I had a stable job, I had lost a lot of weight, and I ended up with that woman who I can only now refer to as the devil. She may be the only soulless being on this planet too bad for even me. You see, I'm the king of Evil but this lady would find ways to hurt you and you'd never even know she did it.
Meatball pushes a button on a small remote in his hand causing the screen to jump to the next picture. It's a picture of Meatball working on his Harley at a small mechanic shop.
Meatball: During this time period I was working at a mechanic shop that specialized in bikes. The whole wrestling thing hadn't quite taken off and I needed money. I was ashamed of myself for failing to get into the wrestling business but I was content following one of my other passions. This is where I met that treacherous woman. She came in on her bike and at first I assumed she was the type who just rode for the looks but she knew her bike in and out. Hell, she taught me a thing or two. One thing led to another and we hit it off.
Meatball clicks to the next slide which shows him in the gym doing push-ups with the woman on his back.
Meatball: She was the one who suggested I lose weight. I got no issue with how I look but I guess something about my gut wasn't presentable enough for her. So I worked my ass off day after day, losing weight, pound after pound. She pushed me so far past my damn limit I injured myself maybe forty times by the end of it. She always pushed me super hard. She was a hard ass just like me. I could see through the façade.
Meatball looks down with an almost sympathetic expression before it sours into an expression of disgust.
Meatball: Turns out, she had a mean streak just like myself. I mean, we attract like-minded people so I wasn't surprised. I enjoyed that aspect of her. Made me push myself to make sure I was never out done. No one can be as bad as the Big Bad Meatball. No one. We started going out and trying to outdo each other when it came to ruining peoples day. For some reason though, she always just wanted to ruin my day. Every damn time I'd do something mean she'd just end up kicking me in the balls and laugh at me. I mean, where's the creativity in that? Well either way it was effective.
Meatball clicks to the final panel where most of it is covered by a mosaic censor. It was the woman with a large man in a biker vest both with wide expressions of shock. Meatball refuses to look at the screen as his eyes begin to well up and his voice gets shaky.
Meatball: Well, one day she decided it was time for the biggest move of evil she could possibly perform. She slept with my goddamn best friend and the second hand of my gang. I could barely take it. Right on my damn bed too! Of all the ways to hurt a man, this was the worst she could do. Or so I thought. You see, we were competing and she wanted to win, so I let it slide. I took a break form evil after that. We started living... normally. I saw that being bad sometimes did more harm then you knew. So I decided to get better. I started focusing on being a better person.
Meatball clicks the button revealing a very similar slide but this time with multiple people in biker vests with the woman.
Meatball: She decided it was no fun being nice and DID IT AGAIN! This time with my entire damn gang! She even made sure to include Lenny who is paralyzed from the waist down from a motor accident. Good for Larry I suppose...
Meatball is now visibly fighting back tears barely able to keep up his normal bravado. He clicks past the slide leaving a lone image of Meatball on his bike driving away in the familiar black and white we see at the start of his promos.
Meatball: It was there when I gave up on "love". I realized something so powerful must be stomped out with a similarly powerful emotion. Hate. I let my hatred for Slab and that evil woman empower my wrestling journey. I learned I had slipped to much. I needed to get tougher, meaner, badder. I hope those bastards can see me now. He took my dreams and she took my gang and happiness. Now you just got one mad Meatball main eventing Project Underground.
Meatball begins to turn his sadness into anger as he barks through the tears streaming down his face.
Meatball: GRAVES! That's just where I'm gonna put you after I'm done with you! You hear me goddamn it! THE BIG BAD MEATBALL AIN'T PLAYIN!
Meatball's face get's redder and redder with each sentence that shoots from his lips.
Meatball: When it's just you and me in that ring, I'm not just fighting Cristopher Graves, I'm fighting Slab and the devil too! I'm gonna bully you until you don't ever want a bite of this competition ever again Graves. You think your are all that but I'll show you how wrong you are. You ever met a man like me? A man so determined to hurt people... a man so determined to ruin people, that he don't stop for nothing? I don't care who you are, where you've been, what record or accolades you may have. You call yourself a goat? You know what I do to goats? I'll tell you what I do to goats. I'm gonna crush your bones to dust. I'll squeeze your flesh into Jelly. After that, I'm gonna be so famished from beating your ass senseless, I'll put you in between two pieces of bread just so I can have a bonedust and Jelly sandwich. I'll call it a goat sandwich cause it'll be filled with you. I bet it'll taste like goat shit too! Fuck, I want a sandwich now...
Meatball begins to slowly calm himself as he's to worked up to even speak properly now. He turns to the screen and clicks the button in his hand one last time going back to the first image of the two happy as can be. He drops two his knees as his arms dangle at his sides. He begins to mutter under his breath only barely able to be picked up by the camera.
Meatball: Cheryl, I miss you so much. Please take me back...
The picture slowly begins to fade out with Meatballs back to the camera. Soon we are left with Meatballs signature logo, "Big Bad Inc." over a black screen.
