(Phantom Troupe) The Rise & Fall of the Black Friday Fury!
Nov 24, 2021 16:58:34 GMT -5
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Post by darkcircle on Nov 24, 2021 16:58:34 GMT -5
{The screen comes up and we find ourselves in the office of Vergil Urahara where the man himself is sitting behind the desk and enjoying a fresh twenty ounce bottle of the new Mountain Dew Gingerbread flavor while the “Elegant Assassin” himself, DJ Hunter, sits in one of the big chairs in front of Vergil’s desk}
Vergil: So, how did the kid handle himself in his first pay per view match?
DJ: Pretty good, he’s kind of blasting himself for walking right into that superkick attempt from me though.
Vergil: Eh, how many times did Ruiner take that very same move to his face back in some NeWA or WfWA promotion? I seem to remember him taking it at least three times in a row from you against Stringbean Melly in Outlaw Championship Wrestling that first night you all were there.
DJ: Yeah, but that’s different, Vergil. Kyle might be just a rookie, but he prides himself on what he does and he takes it seriously.
Vergil: Ergo why the kid doesn’t need to focus on the fact that the Motherfuckers are still the tag team champions. I mean yeah, those two asshats will have what’s coming to them happen and in short order they’ll be back to making shitty versions of animal fries at the In and Out Burger outside of Houston Texas for a few bucks a week to cover their dime bag habits...but that is neither here nor there. What’s he doing now?
DJ: I think he’s in the gym with the Beast actually.
{The screen then cuts to Kyle and of all people, the infamous “Infernal Beast” himself-Shinya Miyamoto-locked up in the middle of a training cage and from the looks of it, neither man is giving up anything to the other man}
Shinya: I gotta say kid, your footwork is improving. There was a time that you couldn’t be holding your ground like that against me.
Kyle: Well despite none of these bastards giving me a real chance, doesn’t mean I’m slacking on you, boss.
Shinya: Good to hear, except for one thing, kid.
{Shinya suddenly adjusts his footwork and Kyle pitches forward right into a heel hook by Shinya}
Kyle: *FUCK*!!!
Shinya: Your footwork is improving yeah...but you’re still fucking distracted. Now why is that?
{Shinya “gently” <sheyah right with this guy?!> on Kyle’s caught heel and that makes the younger man pound on the mat in pain}
Shinya: Come on, tell your uncle Shin what’s bothering you...or would you prefer Eli come and do it for ya?
Kyle: Eli ain’t doing shit aside from sitting and shitting atop that new throne of his, Boss!
Shinya: Feh, not the point. What’s buggin you.
Kyle: Motherfuckers!
Shinya: Okay...which ones?
Kyle: Seriously Boss?! The *TAG TEAM*!?
{Shinya actually raises an eyebrow-the “Infernal Beast’s” version of confusion-as he releases the heel hold on his young pupil who quickly rolls up to see how much damage is done to it}
Shinya: Wait, your serious? Two flying fucks are actually called the Motherfuckers in that promotion that you work for?
Kyle: Yeah, and they are the tag team champions there.
{Shinya takes this data in and then lets out a derisive snort}
Shinya: Well shit, and here I thought that wrestling promotions were starting to take shit seriously nowadays?
Kyle: Yeah, well this isn’t like the old days, Boss.
Shinya: Yeah no shit it seems, kid.
{Shinya then stands up and helps Kyle to his feet as well}
Shinya: You know what the difference is between the clown shit that they were pulling when your old man and I were working the rings and now?
Kyle: {raising an eyebrow in confusion} No, what?
Shinya: We had all kinds of silly ass fuckers likeThe Jobber World Order, The Circle Jerks, King Buddy, the Knights of the Lagoon, Too Much Coffee Man, Stringbean Melly, Queen X, King Jericho, the Dark Dragon and Talon Zahn, and even that “Dungeon Master” fuck who used a throat thingy to make him sound like one of those Transformers characters from the old cartoons and not the movies. I mean fucks a flying, we even had a bunch of and I kid you the fuck not, *FURRIES* cosplaying in the ring.
And yeah, the Circle Jerks were the Superior Championship Wrestling World Tag Team champions for almost six months during which time that King Buddy won that fed’s International Heavyweight title as well...you know what I learned about all that in the end?
Kyle: What’s that?
Shinya: It’s our fucking job to put the dumb asses through as many tables as possible and remind them the difference between helpful comedy shit and useless as carnie shit. I mean look at the difference between Indy Darling and Lil Petey.
Kyle: Alright?
Shinya: In my heyday, as one of the Rogue Horsemen with your old man, I would’ve loved to have gotten into the ring with Indy. Because while he’s all cheery and shit, at least he’s got the big brass balls to step up to you and thrown down good and fucking proper. I mean look at what happened over in Wrestleworld between him and Jake Striker.
Kyle: Alright, fair enough….but what about Lil Petey?
{Shinya lets out another derisive snort as a large predatory grin appeared on his face as the man once nicknamed the “Great White Shark of Professional Wrestling” shows the camera his signature perfect and very sharp looking grin}
Shinya: Oh, him...I would’ve eaten part of him for dinner then use the rest of his carcass to beat the shit out of the rest of that little trios of his. The point being is sometimes ya gotta let shit go and focus on being the real toughest bastard in the ring.
Speaking of which...back to work with ya!!
{The screen then fades to black and when it comes back up, we find ourselves looking at a blank white all with both halves of the Phantom Troupe standing before it, DJ has his usual trademark smile on his face while Kyle looks as ready as ever for a fight}
DJ: Well we might not have won the tag team straps like we said that we were, but none of our four opponents can say that we fought a lick below whatever the hell that they are used to facing here in a Project Honor ring and plus, Kyle and I both are not upset at the loss in the slightest.
Kyle: Not in the smallest of slightest.
DJ: And that’s because at first you don’t succeed, try and try again until you can rip both of your fucking opponents apart. And plus, now that we’ve gotten a feel for the tag division thus far here in Project Honor, it just means it’s now simply a matter of time before those belts go around our waists and we bring the first bit of gold home to the House Urahara Wrestling Office.
Kyle: Now having said that, we’re moving on to our next challenge and that’s this ...Mall Mayhem match where we are apparently going to actually wrestle inside of the Mall of America in a violent race to claim some boxes.
DJ: Yeah I know, it's fucking crazy and there is no way a tag team that takes itself as seriously as we do would willingly go into such a frivolous brawl like this, right?
{DJ tilts his head to look over at Kyle and it takes every bit of effort for both men to keep from breaking down in laughter before they finally stop and grow serious once more}
DJ: Fuck *NO* we're not that serious because when you boil everything down, and we've said this enough fucking times already, and that's the Phantom Troupe is always looking for a fight and when you toss in the chance that there is fucking championship opportunities abound in this little freak for all, then you can bet your bottom dollar that we'd be there. Right partner?
{Kyle is silent}
DJ: Hey kid, it's your turn to speak.
Kyle: You notice that some of them, they're bigger than us?
{DJ blinks a couple of times before he turns his head to look at something off camera, to which the camera follows as he looks at the picture of the entire roster listed for the "Mall Mayhem" match before he slowly nods in agreement}
DJ: Yes.
Kyle: And younger?
DJ: Ye...
{DJ's eyebrows both raise as he turns and look at his partner who is trying very hard not to break down laughing to the point where Kyle's face is turning various shades at which point DJ rolls his eyes as he shakes his head}
DJ: (trying not to laugh) Bet on them, if you like!!
Kyle: I *might*! But then again that'd be the only fucking thing truly going for some of the fuckers in this promotion that don't take certain aspects of this industry seriously like Lil Petey, while I won't give up a chance to grab myself and DJ another shot at those tag team straps, but if I can do it while taking you out myself, Lil Petey, then I'd do it with *pleasure*.
But that also goes the same way because while I’m more than willing to fight for my shot at any given title here in Project Honor, just like I know DJ will do the same, but if we can earn our shots faster...then maybe taking these shortcuts will be just as favorable.
But all of that, in the fucking long run, is nothing compared to shutting a whole lot of you mother fuckers up for even questioning if the Phantom Troupe should be here in Project Honor...because we’re getting more than sick and tired of hearing the comments flittering through the stage hands and the road agents about how we shouldn’t be here and all that fucking jazz because we’re going to put all of you naysayers to rest in right fucking proper order and very shortly because soon enough, we’ll be running things around here and there won’t be a fucking thing anybody can do about it.
DJ: So in one night while the two of us won’t be a tag team, the Troupe’s goals are still the fucking same and that is we are planning on running rough shod over whomever we want because as always, we are looking for a fight and at the Mall Mayhem event….we’re getting our fucking Christmas *early*!
Kyle: So yeah, we know that our chances are fucking slim compared to how many slabs of meat are being thrown into this blender of insanity but you know what it doesn’t matter in the end because we’ve got our goals set in stone and we’re ready for the *Maul* of America!!
{The screen then fades to black}
Vergil: So, how did the kid handle himself in his first pay per view match?
DJ: Pretty good, he’s kind of blasting himself for walking right into that superkick attempt from me though.
Vergil: Eh, how many times did Ruiner take that very same move to his face back in some NeWA or WfWA promotion? I seem to remember him taking it at least three times in a row from you against Stringbean Melly in Outlaw Championship Wrestling that first night you all were there.
DJ: Yeah, but that’s different, Vergil. Kyle might be just a rookie, but he prides himself on what he does and he takes it seriously.
Vergil: Ergo why the kid doesn’t need to focus on the fact that the Motherfuckers are still the tag team champions. I mean yeah, those two asshats will have what’s coming to them happen and in short order they’ll be back to making shitty versions of animal fries at the In and Out Burger outside of Houston Texas for a few bucks a week to cover their dime bag habits...but that is neither here nor there. What’s he doing now?
DJ: I think he’s in the gym with the Beast actually.
{The screen then cuts to Kyle and of all people, the infamous “Infernal Beast” himself-Shinya Miyamoto-locked up in the middle of a training cage and from the looks of it, neither man is giving up anything to the other man}
Shinya: I gotta say kid, your footwork is improving. There was a time that you couldn’t be holding your ground like that against me.
Kyle: Well despite none of these bastards giving me a real chance, doesn’t mean I’m slacking on you, boss.
Shinya: Good to hear, except for one thing, kid.
{Shinya suddenly adjusts his footwork and Kyle pitches forward right into a heel hook by Shinya}
Kyle: *FUCK*!!!
Shinya: Your footwork is improving yeah...but you’re still fucking distracted. Now why is that?
{Shinya “gently” <sheyah right with this guy?!> on Kyle’s caught heel and that makes the younger man pound on the mat in pain}
Shinya: Come on, tell your uncle Shin what’s bothering you...or would you prefer Eli come and do it for ya?
Kyle: Eli ain’t doing shit aside from sitting and shitting atop that new throne of his, Boss!
Shinya: Feh, not the point. What’s buggin you.
Kyle: Motherfuckers!
Shinya: Okay...which ones?
Kyle: Seriously Boss?! The *TAG TEAM*!?
{Shinya actually raises an eyebrow-the “Infernal Beast’s” version of confusion-as he releases the heel hold on his young pupil who quickly rolls up to see how much damage is done to it}
Shinya: Wait, your serious? Two flying fucks are actually called the Motherfuckers in that promotion that you work for?
Kyle: Yeah, and they are the tag team champions there.
{Shinya takes this data in and then lets out a derisive snort}
Shinya: Well shit, and here I thought that wrestling promotions were starting to take shit seriously nowadays?
Kyle: Yeah, well this isn’t like the old days, Boss.
Shinya: Yeah no shit it seems, kid.
{Shinya then stands up and helps Kyle to his feet as well}
Shinya: You know what the difference is between the clown shit that they were pulling when your old man and I were working the rings and now?
Kyle: {raising an eyebrow in confusion} No, what?
Shinya: We had all kinds of silly ass fuckers likeThe Jobber World Order, The Circle Jerks, King Buddy, the Knights of the Lagoon, Too Much Coffee Man, Stringbean Melly, Queen X, King Jericho, the Dark Dragon and Talon Zahn, and even that “Dungeon Master” fuck who used a throat thingy to make him sound like one of those Transformers characters from the old cartoons and not the movies. I mean fucks a flying, we even had a bunch of and I kid you the fuck not, *FURRIES* cosplaying in the ring.
And yeah, the Circle Jerks were the Superior Championship Wrestling World Tag Team champions for almost six months during which time that King Buddy won that fed’s International Heavyweight title as well...you know what I learned about all that in the end?
Kyle: What’s that?
Shinya: It’s our fucking job to put the dumb asses through as many tables as possible and remind them the difference between helpful comedy shit and useless as carnie shit. I mean look at the difference between Indy Darling and Lil Petey.
Kyle: Alright?
Shinya: In my heyday, as one of the Rogue Horsemen with your old man, I would’ve loved to have gotten into the ring with Indy. Because while he’s all cheery and shit, at least he’s got the big brass balls to step up to you and thrown down good and fucking proper. I mean look at what happened over in Wrestleworld between him and Jake Striker.
Kyle: Alright, fair enough….but what about Lil Petey?
{Shinya lets out another derisive snort as a large predatory grin appeared on his face as the man once nicknamed the “Great White Shark of Professional Wrestling” shows the camera his signature perfect and very sharp looking grin}
Shinya: Oh, him...I would’ve eaten part of him for dinner then use the rest of his carcass to beat the shit out of the rest of that little trios of his. The point being is sometimes ya gotta let shit go and focus on being the real toughest bastard in the ring.
Speaking of which...back to work with ya!!
{The screen then fades to black and when it comes back up, we find ourselves looking at a blank white all with both halves of the Phantom Troupe standing before it, DJ has his usual trademark smile on his face while Kyle looks as ready as ever for a fight}
DJ: Well we might not have won the tag team straps like we said that we were, but none of our four opponents can say that we fought a lick below whatever the hell that they are used to facing here in a Project Honor ring and plus, Kyle and I both are not upset at the loss in the slightest.
Kyle: Not in the smallest of slightest.
DJ: And that’s because at first you don’t succeed, try and try again until you can rip both of your fucking opponents apart. And plus, now that we’ve gotten a feel for the tag division thus far here in Project Honor, it just means it’s now simply a matter of time before those belts go around our waists and we bring the first bit of gold home to the House Urahara Wrestling Office.
Kyle: Now having said that, we’re moving on to our next challenge and that’s this ...Mall Mayhem match where we are apparently going to actually wrestle inside of the Mall of America in a violent race to claim some boxes.
DJ: Yeah I know, it's fucking crazy and there is no way a tag team that takes itself as seriously as we do would willingly go into such a frivolous brawl like this, right?
{DJ tilts his head to look over at Kyle and it takes every bit of effort for both men to keep from breaking down in laughter before they finally stop and grow serious once more}
DJ: Fuck *NO* we're not that serious because when you boil everything down, and we've said this enough fucking times already, and that's the Phantom Troupe is always looking for a fight and when you toss in the chance that there is fucking championship opportunities abound in this little freak for all, then you can bet your bottom dollar that we'd be there. Right partner?
{Kyle is silent}
DJ: Hey kid, it's your turn to speak.
Kyle: You notice that some of them, they're bigger than us?
{DJ blinks a couple of times before he turns his head to look at something off camera, to which the camera follows as he looks at the picture of the entire roster listed for the "Mall Mayhem" match before he slowly nods in agreement}
DJ: Yes.
Kyle: And younger?
DJ: Ye...
{DJ's eyebrows both raise as he turns and look at his partner who is trying very hard not to break down laughing to the point where Kyle's face is turning various shades at which point DJ rolls his eyes as he shakes his head}
DJ: (trying not to laugh) Bet on them, if you like!!
Kyle: I *might*! But then again that'd be the only fucking thing truly going for some of the fuckers in this promotion that don't take certain aspects of this industry seriously like Lil Petey, while I won't give up a chance to grab myself and DJ another shot at those tag team straps, but if I can do it while taking you out myself, Lil Petey, then I'd do it with *pleasure*.
But that also goes the same way because while I’m more than willing to fight for my shot at any given title here in Project Honor, just like I know DJ will do the same, but if we can earn our shots faster...then maybe taking these shortcuts will be just as favorable.
But all of that, in the fucking long run, is nothing compared to shutting a whole lot of you mother fuckers up for even questioning if the Phantom Troupe should be here in Project Honor...because we’re getting more than sick and tired of hearing the comments flittering through the stage hands and the road agents about how we shouldn’t be here and all that fucking jazz because we’re going to put all of you naysayers to rest in right fucking proper order and very shortly because soon enough, we’ll be running things around here and there won’t be a fucking thing anybody can do about it.
DJ: So in one night while the two of us won’t be a tag team, the Troupe’s goals are still the fucking same and that is we are planning on running rough shod over whomever we want because as always, we are looking for a fight and at the Mall Mayhem event….we’re getting our fucking Christmas *early*!
Kyle: So yeah, we know that our chances are fucking slim compared to how many slabs of meat are being thrown into this blender of insanity but you know what it doesn’t matter in the end because we’ve got our goals set in stone and we’re ready for the *Maul* of America!!
{The screen then fades to black}