Post by ttthet on Oct 13, 2021 18:06:06 GMT -5
Our scene begins at the end of the previous episode of Proving Ground. The cameras are off and fans start to file out of their seats as TJ Thompson stands in the middle of the ring with the Grand Championship in his hands.
TJ Thompson: Everyone’s leaving. Yooo, it’s time to pull the devious lick of the century!
TJ rolls out of the ring and tries to make a run for it with the Grand Championship, but he’s stopped by a pair of security guards.
Security Guard #1: You can’t take that with you.
TJ Thompson: Why not?
Security Guard #2: It’s not yours!
TJ Thompson: But y’all didn’t stop me from jumping Swindle! I feel like assault is more of a crime than theft. Besides, I was just in the ring holding it like it belonged to me!
Security Guard #1: You have to give it back.
TJ Thompson: Fine…hey, look over there!
TJ tries to jump on the back of nearby Gerald the Giraffe, but he quickly gets tackled by security as we sharply cut to black.
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Our scene opens up again in a back street in Indonesia. TJ Thompson is nervously walking down the street flanked by the man who sees no evil, Nobi.
TJ Thompson: I haven’t slept in weeks, bro. I have to put effort into my wrestling career now! I got a world title match coming up! I can’t be spending my life playing this stupid game!
Nobi: Then why did you sign the contract?
TJ Thompson: They offered me free food! I can’t say no to that! At first, I thought I could just run away and hope they didn’t find me, but…they found me. It’s almost like my location gets put on TV every two weeks. Huh. Anyway, that’s why I came to you! You owe me a favor for the last time we linked up. I barely escaped with my life! My camera guys weren’t so lucky. Maybe that’s why they went on strike. Anyway, can you solve my problem?!?
Nobi: I can 🙈! It took me a while, but now you don’t have to play that game anymore! Just come with me and I’ll show you!
TJ Thompson: Bet!
Nobi leads TJ through a secret door and into a huge room where hundreds of children sit playing Raid: Shadow Legends. TJ looks at them in shock.
TJ Thompson: …I don’t know if this is what I had in mind, bro. I thought you were just gonna murder the executive that made me sign that contract! Who are these kids?
Nobi: Eh, they’re just orphans! Who’s gonna miss them? Their parents?!? Without me, they’d be out there begging on the street! Isn’t this better? I’m a good employer? Besides, you don’t really care about proper labour practices, do you? Look at your camera crew! You’re fine with treating them like shit!
TJ Thompson: I mean, those are grown men! These are kids! PLAYING RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS!!! Wait…SAUCE, IS THAT YOU?!? You’re not an orphan! I was with your mom just last night! How the fuck did you get to Indonesia?!? Wait a second, nobody takes advantage of Sauce for cheap labour but me! Nobi, how did he get here?
Nobi: Well, I couldn’t wrangle enough local orphans to fit the amount we need. I had to import some! I know a guy and I don’t ask questions. I have no idea who these kids actually are 🙈!
A disheveled-looking Yung Sauce sits with a phone in hand.
Yung Sauce: I don’t know how I got here. I don’t know where I am. All I know is that I MUST PLAY RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS!!! AAAAAAHHH!!!
TJ Thompson: Uhh…are all of them like that?
Nobi: Nah, just him. He’s a special one 🙈. I didn’t know you knew this kid!
TJ Thompson: Yeah, he used to be a wrestler! Mans really went from wrestling in Project Honor to playing bad mobile games in some sketchy Indonesian basement. Big L! I feel like I gotta take him back with me. This isn’t right. Can’t they just sing and dance like the orphans you see in movies?
Nobi: I mean, would you rather have to play yourself?
TJ Thompson: …You know what? That’s a good point. Sorry, kids. I got a Grand Championship to win! Not you, Sauce. You gotta come home with me! I feel like Petey would be kinda pissed if I left you in here playing that game we all hate. Come on!
Yung Sauce: Must…level…up…
TJ Thompson: Oh god, what have you done to him?!? He’s all fucked up in the head!
Nobi: It wasn’t me! He was like this when we got him! It must be the game!
TJ Thompson: Jeez, how long have you been playing?!?
Yung Sauce: Since I was born.
TJ Thompson: He’s delirious. Welp. I’m pretty sure these other kids have a long way to go before they end up like Sauce. Come on, bro. Let’s roll.
TJ tries to usher Sauce out of the building, but an orphan stands up.
Orphan #1: Who are you? And what’s wrong with that guy?
TJ Thompson: I’m the reason you’re getting paid to play Raid: Shadow Legends! Use code PLEASEHELPME to support the drip! Saucey here isn’t feeling so well. I think he’s been playing that game too much. Mans looks like a zombie.
Orphan #1: Is that gonna happen to me, sir?
TJ Thompson: I mean, it depends! I only have fifty years left on the contract! Who knows how long Sauce has been playing! It could be centuries before you turn into him! But probably within the next week, yeah. Good luck with that!
Orphan #2: Wait, what? This isn’t worth it! This game is so shitty! I’d rather just commit crimes for money! I don’t want to end up like him!
Other orphans start to voice their agreements.
Nobi: Wait! Some of you aren’t even from here! Where are you gonna go?
Orphan #2: I don’t know, but it’s better than turning into Yung Sauce!
Yung Sauce: Use…promo code…
Orphan #2: See?
Nobi: Hmm…committing crimes 🙈? I’m about to commit a few if you don’t get back to work!
TJ Thompson: Uhh…calm down there, buddy!
Orphan #2: You want these hands, cracker? I’ll smack you silly! You should’ve seen what I did to that kid at school yesterday!
Nobi: I don’t care how old you are, these hands are rated E for everyone 🙈!
Nobi and the innocent orphan get in each other’s faces, but TJ holds Nobi back.
TJ Thompson: Chill, bro! He’s just a kid!
Nobi: Fuck them kids 😎!
As soon as those words come out of Nobi’s mouth, a familiar rumbling is heard.
TJ Thompson: Bruh. You summoned him! Welp, at least we’re safe here, right?
All of a sudden, the DDLG God Bohn Bash Bader bursts through the wall.
TJ Thompson: We’re in a basement! That doesn’t even make sense!
Bohn Bash Bader: Fuck them kids?!? I love-
TJ Thompson: Don’t finish that sentence! My sponsors are watching! We gotta keep the FBI away from me!
Triple B screeches as orphans scatter. He makes a beeline for Yung Sauce who miraculously snaps out of his trance to run for his life. Again.
TJ Thompson: Oh god, not Sauce again! There are like fifty orphans in this place and you go for the one who’s not even that childish?!?
Nobi: 😎.
The scene abruptly cuts to black as Triple B jumps through his hole in the wall with poor Yung Sauce in his grasp.
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Don’t worry guys! We got him back! Sauce is alive! He’ll probably need to see his therapist again for a variety of reasons…but he’s not dead! That’s more than Ozy can say soon…right? I’m gonna kill this fool? Yeah. Let’s say that. It probably won't be worse than what Sauce suffered. So it's still pretty bad. Two weeks ago I rediscovered holding a championship. Turns out it feels pretty good! I mean, I wasn't exactly in the right headspace after my totally dominant win against Cassie, but I was still good enough to drop Swindle! He may never recover. I closed out the damn show on top and everyone that I'll be facing at Clash for the Cup was down for the count. Signs of things to come? Yeah! Some people are calling it a fluke. If I wasn't the last one in the ring, I would be on the floor just like everyone else. I mean, yeah. I think that's how wrestling works. After you hit your finisher you just kinda become unaware of things happening around you. But here's my secret! I'm always unaware of things happening around me! It wouldn't have ended any other way! Sure, it had me needing to crawl out of the medical room and ride an uncooperative giraffe to the ring, but trust me, guys! I had it all figured out. You know who didn't have it figured out? Literally everyone. I feel it coming. And not in a sus way too! Big Drip is about to have two titles and maybe those tag ones are on the way too. I don't think anyone saw that coming. I've been all overlooked and shit. I bet before I stood tall over everyone, everyone thought I was just there to eat the pin! And do they still think that? Probably. But it sure felt good! My night started out pretty bad. But I can't complain! It got better real quick, and now that my boy Nobi solved my Raid: Shadow Legends problem, the only way I can go is up! First me and the boys were stuck playing that game 24/7. Then I got my ass beat by English and that guy who looks suspiciously like Triple B. But then I still won! Then...you know. I was about to hit a devious lick with that Grand Championship, but security stopped me. Kinda weird. I can jump people and hold their stuff, but when I walk away with it they have a problem! Shame.
Another thing that's shameful is what Ozy's gonna be feeling when I whip the shit out of that man! And in the main event too! He's lucky this isn't for the belt now or his reign was gonna be cut even shorter. After that match was made, I got some frantic calls. You know what they were saying? Some shit about how I had a good life! Saying goodbye before I get murdered. That's a stretch. I mean, how bad can it be?!? The last time I saw Ozy he was flat on the ground. He didn't look very murderous then. Sure, he's the world champ, but as far as I'm concerned, he ain't shit! He might be like twice my size, has washboard abs and arms the size of my head, but I don't think he's getting enough oxygen in that mask. It must be hard to breathe in that thing. Ozy, what are you hiding?!? What's under the bucket?!? Is it just your ugly face or is there something more?!? Maybe you're not even a person. Hey, have you ever seen that movie where the rat controls the human by pulling his hair? I think we know where I'm going with this. SHOW US THE RAT, OZY!!! THE PEOPLE NEED TO SEE THE TRUTH!!! It all makes sense now! It's not some crazy cult dude that's our world champ! It's a really smart rat calling the shots! That's why you wear the mask! Not because you're horribly deformed or whatever but because you're the second coming of that skinny chef guy. I'm a genius. Give me my Nobel Prize, guys. I got it all figured out. Might as well take off the mask and expose yourself before I do.
But even if there is a rat controlling you in there, that doesn't change that we have a match! Even though you kinda got your ass kicked two weeks ago, I'm sure you still have a few reasons to be happy. You picked up a dub! You defended your Grand Championship against Caddy! I hope you enjoyed that because the sad part starts now. I feel like you’re starting to get a little comfortable up there. I mean, it’s kinda hard to be too comfortable with the whole bondage look you got going there, but you know what I mean. I think you’re starting to take your position for granted! Cadilac Jackson is cool and all, and you sure beat his ass. But don’t forget what I did to that man in our time in the Warrior Rising Division! I bodied that hoe! Multiple times! I’m a whole different animal than the last guy you faced for that championship. And the defense before that, you had Hunter and Petey…okay I don’t think I should say anything mean about Petey. Well. Petey used all his energy up beating up Mark and you just slid in and took advantage of him. Yeah. Let’s say that. But this time, you have no excuses! I’m gonna break you, boy. I know you’re expecting yet another easy win, but I’m not a bum like everyone else you’ve faced. Except Petey. He did nothing wrong. I don’t think you’re expecting much to come out of me, but you’re gonna be surprised. Nobody saw me as being the one standing tall after an exchange like two weeks ago, did they? But look what went down! And I’m about to pull off a repeat performance. Keep seeing me as just some bum to be squashed and I’ll prove you wrong even more.
I know some people come at you with the humble approach. And that’s cool! That’s great! But I’m a lot of things and humble is not one of them. They give you your props before berating you. Nah. I’m just gonna start berating you. Some people see you as this wrestling god, and that’s just not true! Sure, most of the time you come out on top and I get how that can create a certain perception. But last time you didn’t! I did! That humanized you. I humanized you! You were on the floor with all those other bums, off your pedestal! Isn’t that great? It really is! Now you’re not seen as some kinda god! I made put you on the same level as everyone else. Hopefully after that, people will stop begging for mercy every time they see you in the street or whatever. Do you even go outside? Like in the public? I don’t know. Maybe you get your groceries delivered. I think Doordash does that Do they deliver to suspicious caves in the middle of nowhere? I feel like that would violate some safety laws. Anyway, what I’m saying is that you’re a bum. And I’m gonna beat the shit out of you. That’s what everyone says, right? And yeah, usually they don’t. But that was then and this is now. I’m feeling good about this shit! Watch out, because that ass is mine. And I’ll send you back to the swamp you came from with the realization that I’m about to take that title away from you. Nerd. I don’t know if you understand how easy I can just yoink that bad boy! I don’t know if you can picture a future without that title! I mean, I’m sure you’ll still be a pretty big threat with or without the Grand Championship, but the world will know that I’m above you. That’s something Sauce’s mom is used to. Gottem! Get it? Because I smashed his…never mind.
Back to the point, Ozy. Two weeks ago I realized I could do something with my career again and win the Grand Championship. Did I accidentally write my death sentence while doing so? That’s what some people are saying. But probably not! Soon enough I’ll have that Grand Championship and Big Drip will have two belts. And it all starts when I do what so many people couldn’t! Absolutely wreck Ozymandias. Good luck, bro. I mean it! Because that ugly, rat controlled self is about to be put in his place.
Still the Grand Champion, but not for long.